Highlander: The Raven s01e17 Episode Script
Love and Death
So, it's finally been paid? Straight from the Palladium box office.
Mr.
Rock And Roll laid aside his guitar after the concert and asked his fans to join him in a prayer for your safe return.
- Then why am I still here? - Sit! Wh-What are you doing? Don't! Not here.
In the safe.
Well, I trust you've had a pleasant stay.
- When do I leave? - Oh, you'll be gone soon.
My, your boyfriend must love you a great deal.
How touching.
You have your money! And that's the good news, Svetlana.
The ransom's been paid.
The bad news-- The ransom's been paid.
- But you promised! - I lied.
Time for a walk in the moonlight.
Make sure she doesn't get lost.
No! Please! Where'd they go? It's okay.
It's okay.
Give me your hand.
Come on.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
There you go.
Come on.
It's okay.
Come on.
Okay.
Okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Thanks.
Okay.
Okay.
Local police have a blockade at one, three and five miles.
I want these bastards.
Count it.
Amanda.
She is immortal.
A thousand years old and she cannot die.
A creature of legend like the raven, a thief who stole the sun and the moon.
They sent a warrior to bring her back.
He found her.
Together, they brought back light to the world.
I was a cop.
To me she was just a thief, another day on the job.
But she wasn't-- She changed my life, changed everything.
And both of us knew from that moment on, nothing would ever be the same.
That's very kind, but it's not necessary.
I've already been paid.
I owe you.
I'm happy she's okay.
Drinks? Okay.
Next time you're in Paris.
Bye-bye.
Happy birthday.
- It's not my birthday.
- I know.
It's mine.
I didn't know you had birthdays.
How else am I supposed to get presents? Ahh.
So that makes you exactly how old? - Twenty-nine.
- Twenty-nine.
Yeah, give or take.
Look.
a girl who can't lie about her age has no imagination whatsoever.
Just came back to welcome you to Paris.
Mm.
Mm.
And to tell you that you have two days of shopping left.
- Uh, what, to get the woman who has everything? - Let's see.
Something soulful, like a diamond.
Or soft, like a diamond.
- Or subtle.
- Like a diamond.
En garde.
Throat, liver, heart, death.
Only good news.
Name's Bert Myers.
And you're right.
He's in Paris.
What else? Used to be with the Stasi, then he turned.
Now he works as an independent contractor.
Who's on him? Duran.
Shall I have him take care of it? No.
Remember Carlson? It took him three days to die.
Myers cost me half a million pounds.
I want him to know it's me who's killing him.
Okay.
Hors d'oeuvres.
Foie gras.
Let's not forget artichokes, champagne, sauterne-- Ooh, Pascal, can we get some of that great Chââteau d'Yquem '53? Should I order a case? What, at $500 a bottle? Order two.
What's the occasion? I didn't know you were back in town.
Sit.
Just passing through.
Mm.
An espresso, please.
Can you come to my birthday party? I was in England, Amanda.
I know, with Nick.
Are you free on Saturday? In the Lake District.
It's kind of cold there right now.
Have you been there? It's been a long time.
Do you think lobster or steak? Lobster.
Lobster.
Does Cumbria mean anything to you? Home of great poets and nervous cows, not that there's any correlation between the two.
Amanda.
What? Do you know anyone from up there? I don't think so.
Oh, I did know a soccer player from Windermere once.
Great legs.
Package for Amanda Montrose.
Excuse me.
Amanda-- You're supposed to be in Geneva.
Hey, Pascal.
What's up? I got a line on somebody who might be connected to our kidnapper.
The birthday deluge begins.
What's the line? A woman connected to Markham.
Put a couple of extra guys on it.
You need some help? I'll let you know.
Charlie Shavers still missing! Son of ice baron kidnapped! Read all about it! Thank you, sir.
Read all about it! Charlie Shavers kidnapped! All right.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Read all about it! Irish hooligans suspected! Strange, you don't look Irish at all.
That's not funny.
Relax.
I'm not nervous, Derrick.
I just don't like this.
You're a thousand years old, Amanda.
Isn't it time you tried something new? Other than that.
I think we best finish our business and be off.
Well, it's the one with the red blanket.
I know.
I wrote the ransom note.
Everything in order? Mm-hmm.
Shall we? Police! Uh! Hah! Stop, you! Ahh! Ah! Job well done.
Pity they saw you.
I do love you in that hat.
And the cape.
Now, a proper lady does not walk around, her nose besmirched with Manchester grime.
Is that what a proper lady does? Anytime she wants.
I'll ride over and free our young friend.
You go back to the hotel and wait for me there.
All right.
Ah, one more thing.
A proper lady always takes care of her finances.
Well, everything's in tiptop shape, Charlie.
You've been very cooperative, as has your father.
Oh, don't thank me, just look the way I want to remember you.
Just like that.
Lovely.
There it is-- your share and mine.
I've never seen anything more beautiful.
It's only money.
I wasn't talking of the money.
Why so glum, lass? Come, now.
We trust each other, don't we? Then what is it? You know, I've never minded opening safes and picking locks, but this was very different.
How? This time we held a human being for ransom.
Where's the harm? So he sat on a cold floor for a couple of days.
Probably did the spoiled little brat some good.
Toughened him up a bit.
His father earned his fortune from what? Oh, you know as well as I.
The largest ice manufacturer in Britain.
He pays a few pennies for every hundred gallons to be piped up from the river and sells it frozen for a hundred times that.
Our hearts should bleed for young Charlie? I won't do it ever again.
But it was perfect.
Half the country's out hanging Fenians.
And the police are more than happy to pin our little adventure on those poor Irish bastards.
And we? Well, we are free and clear.
Almost.
Almost? Marry me.
I beg your pardon? Why not? We care for each other.
Your concerns are my concerns, and let's face it.
Even on a bad day, the lovemaking is spectacular.
Ah! I'm flattered.
Really, I am, but when we marry, it is truly for eternity.
You don't love me.
I fear not enough.
You'll learn.
You see, besides me, you're the only one who knows about our little scheme.
- I would never betray you.
- But as my wife, even if you were caught, the authorities would be helpless.
You cannot be compelled to testify against me.
There must be some other way.
Actually, there is.
- You wouldn't.
- As fond as I am of the soft curve of your neck, I'm more concerned with my own.
I will take your head.
Always the romantic.
Oh! Well, then.
Mrs.
Derrick Markham it will be.
Anything wrong? You all right? Ah, I didn't have breakfast.
I think my blood sugar is low.
I'm gonna get something to eat.
Amanda? Yeah? Happy birthday.
Thanks.
Ohh.
All those years ago.
Well.
My long-lost wife.
This is definitely your century.
You never really suited the whalebone and bustle.
- What do you want? - Small world.
I came here to kill a Bert Myers, and I find an Amanda Markham.
Ahh, yes.
The rock star's girlfriend.
I should've guessed.
It's so your style.
Remember what the preacher said? "Does anyone object to this union? " - "Do you, Amanda, this Immortal wed"-- - I don't think he said that.
- "For richer, for poorer"-- - Definitely didn't agree to that.
"Till death us do part? " Holy ground, darling.
Yes, I know.
I saw the Roman relics on the way in.
Well, since we can't fight here, why don't you just toddle on off? Hm! Still the same Amanda.
It seems to have worked so far.
You know, I haven't changed much either.
This past century and a half has been pretty much the same old thing.
Really? Kidnapping and murder? Bit of a rut, isn't it? Tell me, Derrick, why did you save our wedding photo? I spent 30 years in an island prison before I escaped.
- It helped me remember.
- Should I be flattered? Why not? It was a once-in-a-lifetime betrayal, never to be repeated or forgotten or forgiven.
Oh! Sweetheart, you should try dropping some of that baggage you're carrying around.
You'll feel so much better if you do.
You can't hide on holy ground forever.
It's only a matter of time.
I'll be waiting.
- - What do you make of this? Huh? Souvenir photo.
Carnival stuff.
Dime a dozen.
We'll see.
I'm having the original analyzed.
I got one of me in Tijuana on the back of a donkey.
I found it in Markham's safe.
I'm wearing a sombrero.
Don't let me show it to you.
It ain't pretty.
There's another one like it in the package she just got, right before she ran outta here with a bad case of the munchies.
Why didn't you bring it to me before you showed it to her? 'Cause I knew what would happen.
You'd start copping pleas just like you're doin'.
This isn't her.
Look.
She's the queen of con jobs.
Her and Markham, they're pulling some scam together.
I'm telling you.
That's what you think this is? It's gotta be.
I've seen a couple of great fakes in my time, but this one takes the friggin' cake.
A scam.
Works for me.
Well, it's either that, or they're 150 years old.
Oh, at least.
Hey! What's goin' on? Uh, nothing.
I just gotta go somewhere.
I'm in a hurry.
Slow down a minute.
Myers is asking questions.
About what? Aboutyou--an old photo and Derrick Markham.
Really? So it was Myers who sent it.
Not exactly the response I was hoping for.
How well do you know this guy? You know, it's been a hundred years.
I really-- I can't remember.
Amanda, how well do you know this guy? We're related.
Related? How? By marriage.
Technically, he's my husband.
That's lovely, ma'am.
Becomes you very nicely, if I do say so meself.
Ah, I think it's perfect.
Would you wrap it for me, please? Of course, ma'am.
Thanks.
Oh! Now I'm done.
I'm a mite nervous this morning.
The police come by, asking all sorts of questions.
Really.
The police? Found a hat in the gutter the other day.
Thought it belonged to one of them that kidnapped poor young Charlie Shavers.
Ah, yes.
I think I read about that.
Well, he wasn't exactly poor, though, was he? Oh! I didn't mean by a lack of a shilling, ma'am.
I'm meaning what happened to him.
What happened? Found his body in the dump, even though the ransom was paid.
Murdered.
Shot, he was.
Shot.
Right through the noggin.
I ask ya-- What kind of a devil would do something like that, ma'am? What evil, devil person would commit a crime like that? Ah! The prodigal wife returns.
Home from a day of shopping.
The hunt was good, I trust, my sweet? There's something I've been meaning to ask you.
Ask away.
Charlie, Charlie Shavers-- What exactly did he say to you when you told him he was set free? Excuse me? Was he grateful? Did he thank you profusely? My self-righteous queen.
How do you think you could afford that new dress? You're wearing the dead boy on your back.
Heh! Not so much the Victorian lady now, are we? - I'm not a murderer.
- - That's the man! He murdered the boy! - All right.
You can't do this.
We're married.
Read the fine print next time.
I can't be compelled to testify, but I can damn well volunteer! Traitorous bitch! - See you in court, darling.
- See you in hell! Come on! That's enough of that.
Look, he's a guy who believes in holding grudges.
Can you beat him? He's good.
Well, you can't live on holy ground forever.
All right.
Then I'll just live under the tunnels in Paris like a mole.
Where will you go? For how long? Just think of me as being in the I.
R.
P.
The what? Immortal Relocation Program.
And don't even miss me.
Don't worry.
I will a little.
You know, when I get back, you'll probably be a little bit grayer.
It'll be kinda cute.
Markham! I know you're watching.
Let's get this over with.
Direct confrontation, Amanda.
- What's come over you? - Sometimes I surprise even myself.
Well, why didn't you just call the police? I've got news for you.
I'm not the woman you married.
I'd suggest a divorce, but it's so messy.
I'll just take your head.
So much for the institution of marriage.
Freeze, Markham! Or give me a reason.
Is that you, Myers? I do hope so.
Close.
Now drop it.
Oh, I can see you're one of Myers's little helpers, aren't you? Pity.
I'm unarmed.
Yeah.
We'll see.
Now what? Myers is expecting you.
Oh.
Send him my regrets! Amanda! In the spring, the rose bush always gives new buds.
They flower, they die, then other ones come along to take their place.
But the single tulip bulb, if properly tended, will give you one perfect flower forever.
Now, you plant these.
Then you can come and help me make lunch.
Immortal lines of flowers and people, both privileged in nature.
She doesn't know she may live for a thousand years.
So she shouldn't.
Not yet.
I feel more trapped than privileged at the moment.
Markham after Myers, Myers after Markham, and me in the middle.
Well, there was a time you would've set sail for Ethiopia or Patagonia.
Life is more complicated now.
Besides, the world is a much smaller place.
It's what? Three hours to New York by Concorde instead of two months byYankee Clipper.
Time is moving by very fast.
Well, and for Markham.
You know, he was winning.
If it hadn't been for some poor bastard who ended up dying, it would've been me instead of him.
Are you afraid? Yeah.
And what's made it more complicated is Myers found my old wedding photo.
Mm.
It's driving him crazy trying to figure it out.
I can see how it would.
What about Nick? Sticking up for me.
And heading towards a date with an Immortal sociopath.
I'm afraid if I meet Markham again, I'm going to lose.
And if you don't, your friends'll lose.
So what do I do? An excellent question.
So-- Well, let me know what you decide.
Thank you for your help.
The Lord knows I try, Amanda.
Don't quit your day job.
Come on.
Let's talk to your boss.
For what? Information.
I don't think so.
What you think doesn't matter.
Okay, you were right.
Markham's not here.
Sit down.
- Where is he? - I don't know.
Okay.
I'll sit.
We'll wait.
I've got all the time in the world.
Hmmph! What the hell are you doing here? What are you doing here? Just hold that thought.
What? Burke.
What? I had him.
He's gone.
You went behind my back.
Now, don't be paranoid.
Markham is my case.
And mine too! The guy I had tailing Amanda was killed last night.
Stabbed.
She had nothing to do with it.
Oh, really? Then explain this to me.
Some bromine iodine photo processing, done only by a guy named Woolcott in 1867! I know it sounds weird.
What the hell is goin' on? She left town.
Don't get excited.
She's dirty.
I'm tellin' ya.
She's hip-deep with a killer! What happened to innocent until proven guilty? I am gonna find her, and you better stay out of my way.
That's exactly where I'll be.
What do you mean by that? I'm not asking you to break the sanctity of your confessional.
I just want to know if you've seen her.
She came by.
Did she say where she was going? What makes you think she's going anywhere? Of course she's going.
Markham's trying to kill her.
Amanda is good.
Markham's better.
She knows that.
Do you think David ever thought he was stronger than Goliath? Right.
The meek will inherit the earth.
The lions will lay down with the lambs.
None of that is important because she might lose her head.
- Nick, whatever Amanda decides to do, she'll do.
- I told her she should leave.
It's the smart thing to do.
But is it the right thing to do? That's what she wanted to know when she came to see me.
You told her she should leave, though, right? Liam, you did tell her to leave.
- I told her she should just follow her heart.
- I thought you were her friend.
Yes, for over 200 years! Look, Nick, how many times have you faced death? That has nothing to do with this.
Oh, no, no.
Why do you do it? Why do you take the risk? It's part of the job.
No, it's not the job.
Not always.
Sometimes, maybe, it's more than the job.
Sometimes you're answering to a higher calling.
This has nothing to do with faith.
I'm not talking about faith.
I'm talking about nobility.
Look-- mortal, Immortal-- there are times in every life where each of us must rise to our own nobility.
And maybe after 1,200 years, Amanda has finally risen to hers.
Maybe.
You brought him to my house.
I thought you'd be there.
You're not paid to think.
You could've taken Wolfe out.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? And how many idiots can dance on the tip of a blade? A twist to the right, and you're dead.
A twist to the left, instant lobotomy.
Think you can make a decision on your own? You tell me.
Left or right.
What's it gonna be? You're the boss.
Up to you.
That's my boy.
What about Wolfe? Focus.
Focus.
One thing at a time, eh? - Who's there? - Surprise.
I thought you were leaving.
I was leaving, but now I'm staying.
Huh! You fickle girl.
I choose impulsive.
- Myers'll be thrilled.
-That's nice.
He saw the picture of you and Markham.
He knows it's real.
- How not nice.
- Mm-hmm.
Better have a good story.
It's gonna be tough, but right off the top of my head I would say number 347.
What the hell are you talking about? Number 347, the Dead Duke.
It's the oldest scam in the book.
You con a rich spinster into believing that she's the long-lost heir of the Duke of Humma-humma.
Then you produce a lot of false documents and touched-up photos to back up the story, and pretty soon you have her power of attorney-- Myers will never buy it.
Look, either I'm running a scam, or I'm an Immortal.
Which one would you buy? Number 347, huh? Yeah.
I can't believe you actually numbered them.
I have them cataloged and cross-referenced, darling.
You're scaring me.
Then my job is done.
Why don't we don't we break it to Myers over dinner? I don't think you miss me.
You're buying.
I don't want dinner.
I want answers.
Eat first, talk later.
I tried to get reservations at Tour d'Argent, but you guys aren't really dressed for it.
One of my guys is dead.
However, I know this great place near the Odeon.
It's perfect.
Cut the games, will ya? What's going on? Go on.
Tell him.
Where? Amanda.
Uh.
- Markham! - What are you doin'? -You got him.
He's dead.
- Oh, my God.
You're bleeding.
We gotta get you to the hospital.
You gotta call it in.
No, we gotta get you some help.
I'll be fine.
We can't just leave him there.
I don't believe it.
I don't freakin' believe it.
Hedging your bets? Couldn't hurt, I guess.
How is Myers? He's doing better.
The bullet lodged next to his spine, so it was touch and go for a while.
Maybe you could say a little prayer? Oh, it couldn't hurt, I guess.
There's something else.
You feel responsible.
Uh, it's not really a question of responsibility-- it's sort of worse.
Myers saw Markham dead one minute, then jumping into a car the next.
That's an interesting dilemma you have yourself.
Yeah, it's fascinating.
The way I see it, I have three options.
I could lie to him.
Well, much as it's served you in the past, I don't think deceit would work for you now.
Darn.
That was my favorite one.
Well, you see, lies mean more questions.
Questions mean answers.
Right.
I guess I could kill him.
I don't think you want to do that.
I don't think so.
And the third? Maybe I'm not as good a shot as you think.
No, no, no, no.
I keep running it in my head.
You put two bullets into the guy.
All right.
One might've got him in the shoulder, but the other one went straight through the heart.
I think you give me too much credit.
I've seen men die, Nick.
Once you plug 'em through the heart, they fall like a redwood, just like Markham did.
You lost a lot of blood.
It affected your brain.
I know what I saw, all right? Hello! Hi.
How's the patient.
Still looking for a straight answer.
As curious as usual.
Ah.
That photo of you and Markham-- It's the real thing, isn't it? Shouldn't you be resting quietly? Just tell me.
How'd you do it? Who's the mark? Go on.
Tell him.
And how did a dead man get up and walk away again? Number 347, remember? All right, Myers-- Stop right here.
- I haven't even started.
- The truth for a change.
Hmm? That's why I'm here.
Okay.
I had my first death during an outbreak of the plague in the ninth century.
If you're gonna do the math, that makes me old.
Like, over a thousand years old.
I'll give you a few highlights of my illustrious life.
1190: I partied, so to speak, with Richard the Lionheart before he left on the Crusades.
I met Petrarch's Laura in 1327.
She asked me to be godmother to one of her 11 adorable children.
Oh, yeah.
Wolfgang Mozart? He dropped me for hisConcerto in "C" Sharpabout 1727.
I thought the man's music was divine, but our relationship was flat as a Goodyear tire.
Oh, I also knew Charles Goodyear.
But I digress.
You know, I'm gonna cut to the chase here.
Myers, I'm immortal.
And so is Markham.
And the only way I can die is if I lose my head, literally.
I guess that says it all.
Hmm! At least you're feeling better.
Well-- She's good, isn't she? The best.
"Do the math.
I'm over a thousand years old.
" Okay.
Oh.
Sorry.
Here.
Here you go.
See, they took a bullet out of my shoulder, not my brain, okay? - I know.
- You mind telling me what you were doing back there? I'm fed up.
And risk everything by confessing to Myers? The only thing that's at risk is his life.
Him going after Markham-- It's like playing with fire without him knowing.
Did you see him up in that hospital? He was all propped up and vulnerable.
He didn't believe you.
What? No.
But he thinks you're the greatest liar he's ever met, if that's any conciliation.
- Ungrateful little weasel.
- Could Papa Bear be far behind? Hmm.
Let's go this way.
I think this is my dance.
We'll find another way.
No.
It's my husband, my problem, my fight.
I'll handle the interference.
Hang around.
Honey, I'm home.
Sorry, darling.
I burned the pot roast.
Did you miss me? Well, I suppose all marriages are like this.
You resent each other; then you cut your wife's head off at the neck.
This relationship is going nowhere fast.
I'll just take your head.
Call it irreconcilable differences.
I'm your husband! I want a divorce.
No! So I don't have to worry about Markham anymore.
Is that what you're saying? That's right.
Let me guess.
Markham was immortal, and you decapitated him with a sword.
Correct? Exactly.
I love that story.
Problem is, the joke's over, and I'm still not laughing.
Better get a sense of humor, 'cause she's not gonna change it.
At least tell me how you forged that picture.
Even my lab boys were impressed.
Oh, I am so tired of this.
Nick, would you please take him shopping? Shopping? Yeah.
Cartier closes in one hour.
If you leave right now, you can get there in time.
Remember, boys, size does matter.
We better go.
She might throw a tantrum.
We'll skip it for now.
- How old is she? - Let's just say she's somewhere between baby boomer and Jurassic.
A girl can have some secrets.
Ah! Got your gold card? Yes.
Closed-Captioned By
Mr.
Rock And Roll laid aside his guitar after the concert and asked his fans to join him in a prayer for your safe return.
- Then why am I still here? - Sit! Wh-What are you doing? Don't! Not here.
In the safe.
Well, I trust you've had a pleasant stay.
- When do I leave? - Oh, you'll be gone soon.
My, your boyfriend must love you a great deal.
How touching.
You have your money! And that's the good news, Svetlana.
The ransom's been paid.
The bad news-- The ransom's been paid.
- But you promised! - I lied.
Time for a walk in the moonlight.
Make sure she doesn't get lost.
No! Please! Where'd they go? It's okay.
It's okay.
Give me your hand.
Come on.
Nobody's gonna hurt you.
There you go.
Come on.
It's okay.
Come on.
Okay.
Okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Thanks.
Okay.
Okay.
Local police have a blockade at one, three and five miles.
I want these bastards.
Count it.
Amanda.
She is immortal.
A thousand years old and she cannot die.
A creature of legend like the raven, a thief who stole the sun and the moon.
They sent a warrior to bring her back.
He found her.
Together, they brought back light to the world.
I was a cop.
To me she was just a thief, another day on the job.
But she wasn't-- She changed my life, changed everything.
And both of us knew from that moment on, nothing would ever be the same.
That's very kind, but it's not necessary.
I've already been paid.
I owe you.
I'm happy she's okay.
Drinks? Okay.
Next time you're in Paris.
Bye-bye.
Happy birthday.
- It's not my birthday.
- I know.
It's mine.
I didn't know you had birthdays.
How else am I supposed to get presents? Ahh.
So that makes you exactly how old? - Twenty-nine.
- Twenty-nine.
Yeah, give or take.
Look.
a girl who can't lie about her age has no imagination whatsoever.
Just came back to welcome you to Paris.
Mm.
Mm.
And to tell you that you have two days of shopping left.
- Uh, what, to get the woman who has everything? - Let's see.
Something soulful, like a diamond.
Or soft, like a diamond.
- Or subtle.
- Like a diamond.
En garde.
Throat, liver, heart, death.
Only good news.
Name's Bert Myers.
And you're right.
He's in Paris.
What else? Used to be with the Stasi, then he turned.
Now he works as an independent contractor.
Who's on him? Duran.
Shall I have him take care of it? No.
Remember Carlson? It took him three days to die.
Myers cost me half a million pounds.
I want him to know it's me who's killing him.
Okay.
Hors d'oeuvres.
Foie gras.
Let's not forget artichokes, champagne, sauterne-- Ooh, Pascal, can we get some of that great Chââteau d'Yquem '53? Should I order a case? What, at $500 a bottle? Order two.
What's the occasion? I didn't know you were back in town.
Sit.
Just passing through.
Mm.
An espresso, please.
Can you come to my birthday party? I was in England, Amanda.
I know, with Nick.
Are you free on Saturday? In the Lake District.
It's kind of cold there right now.
Have you been there? It's been a long time.
Do you think lobster or steak? Lobster.
Lobster.
Does Cumbria mean anything to you? Home of great poets and nervous cows, not that there's any correlation between the two.
Amanda.
What? Do you know anyone from up there? I don't think so.
Oh, I did know a soccer player from Windermere once.
Great legs.
Package for Amanda Montrose.
Excuse me.
Amanda-- You're supposed to be in Geneva.
Hey, Pascal.
What's up? I got a line on somebody who might be connected to our kidnapper.
The birthday deluge begins.
What's the line? A woman connected to Markham.
Put a couple of extra guys on it.
You need some help? I'll let you know.
Charlie Shavers still missing! Son of ice baron kidnapped! Read all about it! Thank you, sir.
Read all about it! Charlie Shavers kidnapped! All right.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you very much.
Read all about it! Irish hooligans suspected! Strange, you don't look Irish at all.
That's not funny.
Relax.
I'm not nervous, Derrick.
I just don't like this.
You're a thousand years old, Amanda.
Isn't it time you tried something new? Other than that.
I think we best finish our business and be off.
Well, it's the one with the red blanket.
I know.
I wrote the ransom note.
Everything in order? Mm-hmm.
Shall we? Police! Uh! Hah! Stop, you! Ahh! Ah! Job well done.
Pity they saw you.
I do love you in that hat.
And the cape.
Now, a proper lady does not walk around, her nose besmirched with Manchester grime.
Is that what a proper lady does? Anytime she wants.
I'll ride over and free our young friend.
You go back to the hotel and wait for me there.
All right.
Ah, one more thing.
A proper lady always takes care of her finances.
Well, everything's in tiptop shape, Charlie.
You've been very cooperative, as has your father.
Oh, don't thank me, just look the way I want to remember you.
Just like that.
Lovely.
There it is-- your share and mine.
I've never seen anything more beautiful.
It's only money.
I wasn't talking of the money.
Why so glum, lass? Come, now.
We trust each other, don't we? Then what is it? You know, I've never minded opening safes and picking locks, but this was very different.
How? This time we held a human being for ransom.
Where's the harm? So he sat on a cold floor for a couple of days.
Probably did the spoiled little brat some good.
Toughened him up a bit.
His father earned his fortune from what? Oh, you know as well as I.
The largest ice manufacturer in Britain.
He pays a few pennies for every hundred gallons to be piped up from the river and sells it frozen for a hundred times that.
Our hearts should bleed for young Charlie? I won't do it ever again.
But it was perfect.
Half the country's out hanging Fenians.
And the police are more than happy to pin our little adventure on those poor Irish bastards.
And we? Well, we are free and clear.
Almost.
Almost? Marry me.
I beg your pardon? Why not? We care for each other.
Your concerns are my concerns, and let's face it.
Even on a bad day, the lovemaking is spectacular.
Ah! I'm flattered.
Really, I am, but when we marry, it is truly for eternity.
You don't love me.
I fear not enough.
You'll learn.
You see, besides me, you're the only one who knows about our little scheme.
- I would never betray you.
- But as my wife, even if you were caught, the authorities would be helpless.
You cannot be compelled to testify against me.
There must be some other way.
Actually, there is.
- You wouldn't.
- As fond as I am of the soft curve of your neck, I'm more concerned with my own.
I will take your head.
Always the romantic.
Oh! Well, then.
Mrs.
Derrick Markham it will be.
Anything wrong? You all right? Ah, I didn't have breakfast.
I think my blood sugar is low.
I'm gonna get something to eat.
Amanda? Yeah? Happy birthday.
Thanks.
Ohh.
All those years ago.
Well.
My long-lost wife.
This is definitely your century.
You never really suited the whalebone and bustle.
- What do you want? - Small world.
I came here to kill a Bert Myers, and I find an Amanda Markham.
Ahh, yes.
The rock star's girlfriend.
I should've guessed.
It's so your style.
Remember what the preacher said? "Does anyone object to this union? " - "Do you, Amanda, this Immortal wed"-- - I don't think he said that.
- "For richer, for poorer"-- - Definitely didn't agree to that.
"Till death us do part? " Holy ground, darling.
Yes, I know.
I saw the Roman relics on the way in.
Well, since we can't fight here, why don't you just toddle on off? Hm! Still the same Amanda.
It seems to have worked so far.
You know, I haven't changed much either.
This past century and a half has been pretty much the same old thing.
Really? Kidnapping and murder? Bit of a rut, isn't it? Tell me, Derrick, why did you save our wedding photo? I spent 30 years in an island prison before I escaped.
- It helped me remember.
- Should I be flattered? Why not? It was a once-in-a-lifetime betrayal, never to be repeated or forgotten or forgiven.
Oh! Sweetheart, you should try dropping some of that baggage you're carrying around.
You'll feel so much better if you do.
You can't hide on holy ground forever.
It's only a matter of time.
I'll be waiting.
- - What do you make of this? Huh? Souvenir photo.
Carnival stuff.
Dime a dozen.
We'll see.
I'm having the original analyzed.
I got one of me in Tijuana on the back of a donkey.
I found it in Markham's safe.
I'm wearing a sombrero.
Don't let me show it to you.
It ain't pretty.
There's another one like it in the package she just got, right before she ran outta here with a bad case of the munchies.
Why didn't you bring it to me before you showed it to her? 'Cause I knew what would happen.
You'd start copping pleas just like you're doin'.
This isn't her.
Look.
She's the queen of con jobs.
Her and Markham, they're pulling some scam together.
I'm telling you.
That's what you think this is? It's gotta be.
I've seen a couple of great fakes in my time, but this one takes the friggin' cake.
A scam.
Works for me.
Well, it's either that, or they're 150 years old.
Oh, at least.
Hey! What's goin' on? Uh, nothing.
I just gotta go somewhere.
I'm in a hurry.
Slow down a minute.
Myers is asking questions.
About what? Aboutyou--an old photo and Derrick Markham.
Really? So it was Myers who sent it.
Not exactly the response I was hoping for.
How well do you know this guy? You know, it's been a hundred years.
I really-- I can't remember.
Amanda, how well do you know this guy? We're related.
Related? How? By marriage.
Technically, he's my husband.
That's lovely, ma'am.
Becomes you very nicely, if I do say so meself.
Ah, I think it's perfect.
Would you wrap it for me, please? Of course, ma'am.
Thanks.
Oh! Now I'm done.
I'm a mite nervous this morning.
The police come by, asking all sorts of questions.
Really.
The police? Found a hat in the gutter the other day.
Thought it belonged to one of them that kidnapped poor young Charlie Shavers.
Ah, yes.
I think I read about that.
Well, he wasn't exactly poor, though, was he? Oh! I didn't mean by a lack of a shilling, ma'am.
I'm meaning what happened to him.
What happened? Found his body in the dump, even though the ransom was paid.
Murdered.
Shot, he was.
Shot.
Right through the noggin.
I ask ya-- What kind of a devil would do something like that, ma'am? What evil, devil person would commit a crime like that? Ah! The prodigal wife returns.
Home from a day of shopping.
The hunt was good, I trust, my sweet? There's something I've been meaning to ask you.
Ask away.
Charlie, Charlie Shavers-- What exactly did he say to you when you told him he was set free? Excuse me? Was he grateful? Did he thank you profusely? My self-righteous queen.
How do you think you could afford that new dress? You're wearing the dead boy on your back.
Heh! Not so much the Victorian lady now, are we? - I'm not a murderer.
- - That's the man! He murdered the boy! - All right.
You can't do this.
We're married.
Read the fine print next time.
I can't be compelled to testify, but I can damn well volunteer! Traitorous bitch! - See you in court, darling.
- See you in hell! Come on! That's enough of that.
Look, he's a guy who believes in holding grudges.
Can you beat him? He's good.
Well, you can't live on holy ground forever.
All right.
Then I'll just live under the tunnels in Paris like a mole.
Where will you go? For how long? Just think of me as being in the I.
R.
P.
The what? Immortal Relocation Program.
And don't even miss me.
Don't worry.
I will a little.
You know, when I get back, you'll probably be a little bit grayer.
It'll be kinda cute.
Markham! I know you're watching.
Let's get this over with.
Direct confrontation, Amanda.
- What's come over you? - Sometimes I surprise even myself.
Well, why didn't you just call the police? I've got news for you.
I'm not the woman you married.
I'd suggest a divorce, but it's so messy.
I'll just take your head.
So much for the institution of marriage.
Freeze, Markham! Or give me a reason.
Is that you, Myers? I do hope so.
Close.
Now drop it.
Oh, I can see you're one of Myers's little helpers, aren't you? Pity.
I'm unarmed.
Yeah.
We'll see.
Now what? Myers is expecting you.
Oh.
Send him my regrets! Amanda! In the spring, the rose bush always gives new buds.
They flower, they die, then other ones come along to take their place.
But the single tulip bulb, if properly tended, will give you one perfect flower forever.
Now, you plant these.
Then you can come and help me make lunch.
Immortal lines of flowers and people, both privileged in nature.
She doesn't know she may live for a thousand years.
So she shouldn't.
Not yet.
I feel more trapped than privileged at the moment.
Markham after Myers, Myers after Markham, and me in the middle.
Well, there was a time you would've set sail for Ethiopia or Patagonia.
Life is more complicated now.
Besides, the world is a much smaller place.
It's what? Three hours to New York by Concorde instead of two months byYankee Clipper.
Time is moving by very fast.
Well, and for Markham.
You know, he was winning.
If it hadn't been for some poor bastard who ended up dying, it would've been me instead of him.
Are you afraid? Yeah.
And what's made it more complicated is Myers found my old wedding photo.
Mm.
It's driving him crazy trying to figure it out.
I can see how it would.
What about Nick? Sticking up for me.
And heading towards a date with an Immortal sociopath.
I'm afraid if I meet Markham again, I'm going to lose.
And if you don't, your friends'll lose.
So what do I do? An excellent question.
So-- Well, let me know what you decide.
Thank you for your help.
The Lord knows I try, Amanda.
Don't quit your day job.
Come on.
Let's talk to your boss.
For what? Information.
I don't think so.
What you think doesn't matter.
Okay, you were right.
Markham's not here.
Sit down.
- Where is he? - I don't know.
Okay.
I'll sit.
We'll wait.
I've got all the time in the world.
Hmmph! What the hell are you doing here? What are you doing here? Just hold that thought.
What? Burke.
What? I had him.
He's gone.
You went behind my back.
Now, don't be paranoid.
Markham is my case.
And mine too! The guy I had tailing Amanda was killed last night.
Stabbed.
She had nothing to do with it.
Oh, really? Then explain this to me.
Some bromine iodine photo processing, done only by a guy named Woolcott in 1867! I know it sounds weird.
What the hell is goin' on? She left town.
Don't get excited.
She's dirty.
I'm tellin' ya.
She's hip-deep with a killer! What happened to innocent until proven guilty? I am gonna find her, and you better stay out of my way.
That's exactly where I'll be.
What do you mean by that? I'm not asking you to break the sanctity of your confessional.
I just want to know if you've seen her.
She came by.
Did she say where she was going? What makes you think she's going anywhere? Of course she's going.
Markham's trying to kill her.
Amanda is good.
Markham's better.
She knows that.
Do you think David ever thought he was stronger than Goliath? Right.
The meek will inherit the earth.
The lions will lay down with the lambs.
None of that is important because she might lose her head.
- Nick, whatever Amanda decides to do, she'll do.
- I told her she should leave.
It's the smart thing to do.
But is it the right thing to do? That's what she wanted to know when she came to see me.
You told her she should leave, though, right? Liam, you did tell her to leave.
- I told her she should just follow her heart.
- I thought you were her friend.
Yes, for over 200 years! Look, Nick, how many times have you faced death? That has nothing to do with this.
Oh, no, no.
Why do you do it? Why do you take the risk? It's part of the job.
No, it's not the job.
Not always.
Sometimes, maybe, it's more than the job.
Sometimes you're answering to a higher calling.
This has nothing to do with faith.
I'm not talking about faith.
I'm talking about nobility.
Look-- mortal, Immortal-- there are times in every life where each of us must rise to our own nobility.
And maybe after 1,200 years, Amanda has finally risen to hers.
Maybe.
You brought him to my house.
I thought you'd be there.
You're not paid to think.
You could've taken Wolfe out.
How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? And how many idiots can dance on the tip of a blade? A twist to the right, and you're dead.
A twist to the left, instant lobotomy.
Think you can make a decision on your own? You tell me.
Left or right.
What's it gonna be? You're the boss.
Up to you.
That's my boy.
What about Wolfe? Focus.
Focus.
One thing at a time, eh? - Who's there? - Surprise.
I thought you were leaving.
I was leaving, but now I'm staying.
Huh! You fickle girl.
I choose impulsive.
- Myers'll be thrilled.
-That's nice.
He saw the picture of you and Markham.
He knows it's real.
- How not nice.
- Mm-hmm.
Better have a good story.
It's gonna be tough, but right off the top of my head I would say number 347.
What the hell are you talking about? Number 347, the Dead Duke.
It's the oldest scam in the book.
You con a rich spinster into believing that she's the long-lost heir of the Duke of Humma-humma.
Then you produce a lot of false documents and touched-up photos to back up the story, and pretty soon you have her power of attorney-- Myers will never buy it.
Look, either I'm running a scam, or I'm an Immortal.
Which one would you buy? Number 347, huh? Yeah.
I can't believe you actually numbered them.
I have them cataloged and cross-referenced, darling.
You're scaring me.
Then my job is done.
Why don't we don't we break it to Myers over dinner? I don't think you miss me.
You're buying.
I don't want dinner.
I want answers.
Eat first, talk later.
I tried to get reservations at Tour d'Argent, but you guys aren't really dressed for it.
One of my guys is dead.
However, I know this great place near the Odeon.
It's perfect.
Cut the games, will ya? What's going on? Go on.
Tell him.
Where? Amanda.
Uh.
- Markham! - What are you doin'? -You got him.
He's dead.
- Oh, my God.
You're bleeding.
We gotta get you to the hospital.
You gotta call it in.
No, we gotta get you some help.
I'll be fine.
We can't just leave him there.
I don't believe it.
I don't freakin' believe it.
Hedging your bets? Couldn't hurt, I guess.
How is Myers? He's doing better.
The bullet lodged next to his spine, so it was touch and go for a while.
Maybe you could say a little prayer? Oh, it couldn't hurt, I guess.
There's something else.
You feel responsible.
Uh, it's not really a question of responsibility-- it's sort of worse.
Myers saw Markham dead one minute, then jumping into a car the next.
That's an interesting dilemma you have yourself.
Yeah, it's fascinating.
The way I see it, I have three options.
I could lie to him.
Well, much as it's served you in the past, I don't think deceit would work for you now.
Darn.
That was my favorite one.
Well, you see, lies mean more questions.
Questions mean answers.
Right.
I guess I could kill him.
I don't think you want to do that.
I don't think so.
And the third? Maybe I'm not as good a shot as you think.
No, no, no, no.
I keep running it in my head.
You put two bullets into the guy.
All right.
One might've got him in the shoulder, but the other one went straight through the heart.
I think you give me too much credit.
I've seen men die, Nick.
Once you plug 'em through the heart, they fall like a redwood, just like Markham did.
You lost a lot of blood.
It affected your brain.
I know what I saw, all right? Hello! Hi.
How's the patient.
Still looking for a straight answer.
As curious as usual.
Ah.
That photo of you and Markham-- It's the real thing, isn't it? Shouldn't you be resting quietly? Just tell me.
How'd you do it? Who's the mark? Go on.
Tell him.
And how did a dead man get up and walk away again? Number 347, remember? All right, Myers-- Stop right here.
- I haven't even started.
- The truth for a change.
Hmm? That's why I'm here.
Okay.
I had my first death during an outbreak of the plague in the ninth century.
If you're gonna do the math, that makes me old.
Like, over a thousand years old.
I'll give you a few highlights of my illustrious life.
1190: I partied, so to speak, with Richard the Lionheart before he left on the Crusades.
I met Petrarch's Laura in 1327.
She asked me to be godmother to one of her 11 adorable children.
Oh, yeah.
Wolfgang Mozart? He dropped me for hisConcerto in "C" Sharpabout 1727.
I thought the man's music was divine, but our relationship was flat as a Goodyear tire.
Oh, I also knew Charles Goodyear.
But I digress.
You know, I'm gonna cut to the chase here.
Myers, I'm immortal.
And so is Markham.
And the only way I can die is if I lose my head, literally.
I guess that says it all.
Hmm! At least you're feeling better.
Well-- She's good, isn't she? The best.
"Do the math.
I'm over a thousand years old.
" Okay.
Oh.
Sorry.
Here.
Here you go.
See, they took a bullet out of my shoulder, not my brain, okay? - I know.
- You mind telling me what you were doing back there? I'm fed up.
And risk everything by confessing to Myers? The only thing that's at risk is his life.
Him going after Markham-- It's like playing with fire without him knowing.
Did you see him up in that hospital? He was all propped up and vulnerable.
He didn't believe you.
What? No.
But he thinks you're the greatest liar he's ever met, if that's any conciliation.
- Ungrateful little weasel.
- Could Papa Bear be far behind? Hmm.
Let's go this way.
I think this is my dance.
We'll find another way.
No.
It's my husband, my problem, my fight.
I'll handle the interference.
Hang around.
Honey, I'm home.
Sorry, darling.
I burned the pot roast.
Did you miss me? Well, I suppose all marriages are like this.
You resent each other; then you cut your wife's head off at the neck.
This relationship is going nowhere fast.
I'll just take your head.
Call it irreconcilable differences.
I'm your husband! I want a divorce.
No! So I don't have to worry about Markham anymore.
Is that what you're saying? That's right.
Let me guess.
Markham was immortal, and you decapitated him with a sword.
Correct? Exactly.
I love that story.
Problem is, the joke's over, and I'm still not laughing.
Better get a sense of humor, 'cause she's not gonna change it.
At least tell me how you forged that picture.
Even my lab boys were impressed.
Oh, I am so tired of this.
Nick, would you please take him shopping? Shopping? Yeah.
Cartier closes in one hour.
If you leave right now, you can get there in time.
Remember, boys, size does matter.
We better go.
She might throw a tantrum.
We'll skip it for now.
- How old is she? - Let's just say she's somewhere between baby boomer and Jurassic.
A girl can have some secrets.
Ah! Got your gold card? Yes.
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