Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero (2014) s01e17 Episode Script

Wherever good is threatened, heroes rise to the challenge and always save the day! Except when they don't.
And that's when I go to work.
I zap in two dimensions every day It's my job to be a hero, save the world And make things right Kung fu moles, rescue trolls Punch a zombie! Score a goal! I'm a robot, I'm a rabbit, I'm a knight Stretching, swinging, sliding by Kicking monsters in the eye Boone and Sashi always sticking by my side No villain's gonna stop Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero, part-time hero! Penn Zero Hey there, Phyllis, what's the dillis? I cook frozen dinner.
Microwave take too long.
OK, today you go to Plant World.
Enough detail! Lunch get cold.
Good luck.
No way! Except for me being a cactus, this is just like my favorite detective series, "The Detective and His Trusty Sidekick!" I'm sure our mission is nothing like that stupid, overly-complicated show.
You are a detective, and I am your trusty sidekick.
Oh, man.
Well, at least there's not an annoying narrator Sashi had been wrong many times before but never quite so wrong as at this very moment.
- Boone! Where are you? - Yeah, show yourself! Boone didn't know.
All he knew was that he could see everything and couldn't stop referring to himself in the third-person.
Great.
That's not gonna get annoying.
All right.
Our mission is to stop Big Red, Plantywood's most notorious criminal, before he pulls off a mysterious crime.
All righty.
First off, all we need is a clue that will set us on a path with a million twists that will blow our minds when we get to the shocking end.
Who did it? Maybe it was me! Look! Here's an address for Big Red's last known location.
We should go there right away.
Penn couldn't believe his eyes.
This number had a stem that ran all the way to Tuesday.
All he could think of was "I'm in love.
" - Oh, my.
- Heh.
I'm really not thinking that.
But that was exactly what he was thinking.
- Name's Orchid.
- But you're a rose.
Nothing gets past you, does it? You must be the detective.
That's me.
Or No, hold on.
Is it that is I? That is I.
No, that sounds stupid.
Ahh.
Blehh.
I'm the Cactus Detective.
I'm the I'm Mr.
Detective Cactus.
Penn was obviously nervous.
And the narrator wasn't helping.
Anyway, I need someone to help me find my missing brother Fern.
He's an actual fern.
Adopted.
Sorry, Rosebud, but we got - Ohh! - bigger seeds to sow.
What are you doing? Argh.
Look.
In The Detective and His Trusty Sidekick, the mysterious lady with the problem is always involved with the crime.
Always.
We should tail Orchid and see where she leads us.
Sashi paused.
She'd been wrong so many times before, she was starting to doubt herself.
If only Boone were around to advise her.
Fine, we'll follow Orchid.
But for the record, I think we're heading towards a dead end.
Despite her qualms, Sashi climbed aboard Penn's Wild Hunch Express.
Next stop: I Told You So station.
Grass gotta grow Flowers need to bloom Weeds took over my garden Now all I got left is blue I think you've had enough, man.
Oh, weeds, you bad weeds You bad weeds Oh, chlorophyll is nice Pollens You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that ficus over there is acting shady, and I'm not talking about the shadow puppets he's making with his leaves, which are impressive.
You bad, bad weeds - You did good.
- Yeah, thanks.
- I wonder if you can help me out.
- Larry? I knew that dame smelled like trouble and roses.
Penn tried his best to be witty, but he came up short, big-time.
Ohh.
He got away.
At least we got his roll of film.
I bet there's a clue in these here photos.
Or, we can check out Big Red's last known location.
- It's literally just up the road.
- But my private eye is telling me that the film is the next piece of the puzzle.
Hmm.
That pine tree sticks out like a sore green thumb.
It's like a cat at a rodeo eating a calzone it just doesn't seem right.
We need to find him.
He just looks like he's photobombing Larry's selfie.
- Trust me, Sash, I got a - Feeling.
Yeah, me too.
Ooh, sorry.
I saw an aloe vera waiting for the bus.
Want me to grab him? There he is! Get him! Hmm.
Why were you running away? I wasn't.
I was just running, see? For exercise.
Do you recognize the ficus in this photo? Why, sure I do, flower-face.
He made that sand pot over there.
Did he say anything about his business here in Plantywood? Spill the beans, you! Spill it! I ain't spillin' for nobody.
All right, maybe this once.
He left this behind, see? It's a brochure for the Museum of Botanical Art, see? They're having an exhibit for the most valuable vase in the world.
It's made entirely out of diamonds.
Wait a minute.
Of course! Big Red's gonna steal the vase! That actually makes sense.
See? I told you to trust me, Sash.
Now look at you.
Egg all over your face.
Toot toot! Now arriving at I Told You So station.
Is there a way to shut him off? We're being tailed! Big Red must know we're onto him.
All right, let's split.
Ohh.
Nice work, Sash! You're a good sidekick.
- Ow! - Heh heh.
Not so fast, Larry! Oh, hey Penn! You're here to see the vase, too? You know, pictures just don't do it justice.
Nice try, but we know you and Rippen are here to steal the vase, not see it! Did you hear that, Rippen? The jig is up! Oh, Rippen's not here.
He's getting ready to pour weed killer into the city water tower before the next watering.
Oh! I just revealed his evil plan, didn't I? Pfft! Me and my mouth.
- Why aren't you with Rippen? - He sent me on a lunch run, but I got side-tracked with some sight-seeing.
Yeah, but why is Orchid here? I'm meeting my brother Fern.
Turns out he wasn't missing.
- He was on a business trip.
- Hey! Wait uh, then uh, why were you talking backstage at the club.
Oh, I was just asking for lunch recommendations.
Oh, that all-you-can-eat fertilizer buffet? - Yes! - OK, but that still doesn't explain why those goons were chasing us.
We was just trying to return this.
You dropped it at the club.
Thanks for the headache! Was you raised by weeds? Sorry, guys.
We wouldn't have bothered any of you if we'd just gone to Big Red's last location! Yup, the good old water tower.
You really should have gone there first.
Ahh, I took this whole hunch thing too seriously and I over-complicated the mission.
I need to learn to listen to your hunches more often, Sash.
Sorry.
As Penn wasted time talking about what he learned, thousands of innocent plants were about to get soaked with weed killer! Without the heroes interfering, this has been the easiest mission ever! If Larry had actually brought lunch, it would have been perfect.
Time to water the plants.
- By "water, I mean "poison.
" - Freeze! Unbeknownst to Rippen, Penn didn't really have a weapon under his coat.
Boone! It was curtains for Penn and Sashi.
There was no chance they could catch up to Rippen.
Not necessarily.
You know, I saw a helicopter tour company at the beach.
We can use that hose to zipline down to the street, and hop in a cab, drive to the helipad - Or we could just take that elevator.
- Hey! You took the elevator.
Very crafty move, but you're too late! Hope you're thirsty, 'cause I'm about to make it rain! And by "rain," I mean "poison.
" Hey, Rippen! Think fast! Ho ho ho! You didn't even come close! I wasn't aiming for you.
Ohh! Noo! - Ow! - Don't worry, big guy! I'll nurse you back to health.
Step one: plant us both in the same pot.
- Good.
- No! I want my own pot.
It hardly ever rained in the City of Flora except every day.
But the rain couldn't drown out what everyone was thinking: the narrator could not be cooler.
- I'm sensing hostility.
- What? Nooo! It's not like anyone's annoyed with you for doing interpretive dance and losing the dodgeball game for us.
That's not Wha Sashi, are you mad? No, we're not mad! Good.
'Cause that would ordinarily bother you two.
- He's kidding.
- Well, make up your mind.
Does it bother you or not bother you? I'm not a mind reader.
"Hello Phyllis, how is day going?" "Is great.
Thanks for the asking.
" - Let me guess.
We're doctors.
- Nope.
We are in a band of heroic, ultra-ripped barbarians.
Evil sorcerer has enchanted an Orb.
When moonlight hits the orb, the entire world will be plunged into eternal forever night.
So, what are we supposed to do? While we barbarians breach the wall of the evil fortress, our wizard will enchant the scepter - to destroy the orb.
- Who's the wizard? - You are.
- Who? You, Boone.
You're the wizard! No.
Get it? Who! I'm an owl and owls say "who," so I said "who" a bunch.
Oh But seriously, who? I wasn't listening.
Can you just explain the first part again? Also the last part.
Plus, I'm still a little hazy on the middle Oh, a butterfly! Boone, we didn't want to have to do this, but you leave us no choice.
Uh-oh, Penn, if moonlight hits that orb, the whole world will go dark! It's not up to us, Sashi.
Only Boone the wizard can destroy the orb! I, Boone-ster, the wizard, will quit fooling around and cast a spell, giving this scepter the power to destroy the orb, dude.
Oh! I get it, it's all up to me.
Just one note: Sashi as Boone? Total miscast.
Die, you slimy weaklings! You'll never conquer our fortress! Boone enchant that scepter! Ultra-ripped animal barbarians, it's time to storm the fortress! Come on! Hey! I don't know how I'm supposed to do the enchantment spell thingy.
Ask your new apprentice for help.
What do you mean? I don't have a Hello.
Ah, hey, man, uh, I'm your new apprentice Hogarth.
- OK, watch the feathers.
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
Oh, man.
I just I can't believe it's you! I never thought I'd get to meet the Warrior Wizard Supreme.
Who? "Who.
" I get it! Because we're owls! - Classic! - I know.
Who! Oh.
Ahem.
No, we should definitely get started on the scepter thingy and, like, do the enchantment stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, totally.
Right.
Oh, hey, but, um, before we start, like, you ever see a bunch of bats and think, bats are cool! Who doesn't think that way? But, like, wouldn't it be, like, way cooler if they were in a metal band? Prepare your earballs to be ravaged by the most metal bats ever! That was an entertaining failure.
But I find it really helps me if I have someone to keep me focused.
- Can you do that? - Yeah.
Totally, of course.
- Hey, you in the mood for nachos? - Absolutely.
Who isn't? You should get a trainer, your core is weak! Even my ears are ripped! Yay! Ha! Those muscle-headed buffoons will never breach the wall in time.
Once the moon reaches its peak, the orb will unleash eternal darkness and it will be forever night.
If I had a magicky orb, know what I'd do? No, Larry.
What? Come on! Conjure up 5 more magicky orbs! 'Cause seriously, I lose everything.
Look, lemme tell you.
TV remote, DVR remote, trampoline helmet, eggs.
You ever see anybody lose eggs? I put eggs in the refrigerator yesterday.
Gone.
- Larry - I didn't eat the eggs, I didn't give the eggs away.
How do eggs disappear Oh, wait a second.
You know, I did eat the eggs.
Wonderful egg story.
Can we just fire the arrows? Boone, things are getting a little dicey over here! - How's that magic spell coming?! - Uh don't worry, Penn.
Oh, we are so on top of it over here.
OK, so the last thing we need is a scale of dragon.
Yeah, we don't have any.
The only place to get a dragon scale is from a dragon, and dragons eat wizard apprentices, so, no thank you.
Let's just substitute basil.
Hogarth, we need a dragon scale so we can take this potion, - and magicalize this scepter.
- Uh, yeah.
Of course.
Uh, can you just explain the first part again? And the last part.
- What about the middle part? - There's a middle? How about a bath of scalding oil? Hey! Victory oil.
Ja! - Grrrr.
- Hot oil, Larry.
I said hot oil.
Oh, man.
This stuff really brings out the definition.
Come on, everybody! We gotta get through those doors and secure the castle for Boone! Follow my pecs! Whoa! Check it out! Hey, look.
It's a fashionable scarf.
Oh, God, put it down! Put it down! That is the dragon's tail! - Hogarth, your wand! - Get away! Hogarth! What have you done? In just a few small, delicious moments, I shall become a full-time villain! I think you mean a full-time loser.
How dare you twist my words to the opposite of what I want to say! But you're too late! Without the scepter, you're powerless to stop forever night.
We would be powerless if it weren't for the mighty wizard Boone! Haaaa! There he is! The wizard Boone who's going to do his thing now! How about now? Eh, now.
He's coming right now.
- Here he is.
Boone! - Ohh.
- Boone! - Shh.
Oh, dear, muscular, rabbit-boy.
He's not coming.
He might be right, Penn.
Say what you will about Boone, but somehow he always comes through in the end.
You know? Uh-oh.
That's my jam.
Uh-oh! Legs are starting to move.
Behold! The scepter of light! Yeah! I knew you'd come through, Boone! Scepter thingy, do your stuff! Oh, that was worth it.
No! Cologne? There's my cologne scroll book.
You gave me the wrong scroll book! Ohh! I really tried this time, but I blew it.
- Yeah, you kinda did.
- Because you're just like me, and I couldn't overcome the me-ness of you! It's exhausting! Well, now I know why Penn looks so old.
He's a young person, and he looks really old! Hey, don't worry.
Things will work out.
- I mean, there's still time.
Nachos? - Boone! This is not the time for nachos! Shh.
Penn! Yelling will only bring out more wrinkles.
Maybe it is about the nachos.
You see, I've been trying to be someone I'm not.
When things get really serious, I always just pull a plan out of my owl butt! Fools, you're going to have to enjoy your nachos in eternal forever night.
Boone! Hey, guys, why don't we just knock that round thing off that tall thing? Oh, no! It can't be that simple! Way to go, buddy.
- I never doubted you for a second.
- Thanks, guys.
But I couldn't have done it without Hogarth.
I see a lot of promise in this young owl.
Hey, wanna know the best part about braces? No! Grrrr! A lot of promise.