Phineas and Ferb s01e17 Episode Script
Get That Bigfoot Outta My Face (15 min)
Hey, we're almost there.
What's the first thing you're going to do at camp, Buford? Find a nerd, take his underpants, and run 'em up the flagpole.
I don't think Camp Phineas and Ferb has a flagpole.
Then I guess I'll just find a nerd and take his underpants.
You may have my underpants.
They just got very messy all of a sudden.
Thanks, but it ain't the same if Buford don't rip 'em off of ya.
How about you, Isabella? The Fireside Girls and I are going to work on our accomplishment patches.
Yeah! Accomplishment patches! How about you, sis? What's the first thing you're gonna do at camp? First of all, it's not camp.
It's just Grandma and Grandpa's cabin, and it's boring.
But we made T-shirts.
Secondly, I don't like the outdoors, okay? I don't like bugs.
Phineas, are you even listening to me? I seem to have misplaced my ant farm.
Mom! Yes, Candace? Do I have to go to Grandma and Grandpa's? Oh, I think it's rather sweet that Betty Jo and Grandpa Clyde invite you kids and all your friends every year.
But I'm not a kid.
I'm a young adult.
Can I do something with you guys? Of course you can, dear.
You can join us at the antiques symposium.
This year's keynote address will debate Shellac vs.
Lacquer.
Woo-hoo! I'll take one of those shirts.
Where are they? Look.
Oh, here they come now.
Hey! Hiya, Grandpa! Well, hello Phineas! You haven't changed a bit! Grandpa, that's not me! That's Perry! Huh? Huh? Oh, oh right.
Looks like I need to get my glasses fixed! With the glasses.
And Turbo Ferb-o! Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Still a man of a few words, I see.
Well, actually I-- So, where's your sister? Hello? Hello?! What do you have to do to find a cell signal in this place? Candace? Oh, hi, Grandma.
How can you stand living out here in the middle of nowhere? Oh, come on, honey.
It's not so bad.
You'll see.
Alright, nature lovers! Time for vittles! "Vittles" is Grandpa-ese for "food".
Hey, where's Perry? Sorry about that, Agent P.
We haven't used that tree slide in years.
Not since I was at The Academy.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz seems to be up to something, Agent P.
He's hold up at his evil woodland retreat.
Your mission is to find out what he's up to.
Please, Agent P.
Be careful.
The Academy.
But I don't want to go to The Academy, Daddy.
I'm not your father, and it's been decided.
I love you, Daddy.
Oh, pesky bugs! I am trying to tan here! Hey, Candace.
I thought I'd bring my favorite camp counselor of Phineas special.
That is just a glass of limeade.
And I am not a counselor.
Hey, Phineas.
The girls have finished pitching the tents.
Can you sign here for our Tent Pitching achievement patches, please? Sure thing.
What are you doing? Well, as camp director, I'd say I'm "doing my job".
Gather around, kids.
There's an old legend Well, not that I believe it, about the Sasquatch.
A race of giant, hairy creatures living up here in these very woods.
If my memory serves, I think there was a song written about it.
Really? Do you remember any of it? (Song: He's Bigfoot) He remembers.
He's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot He'll eat you with his taters and his greens He's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot 'Cause to Bigfoot you're a fleshy tangerine Oh no! He goes barefoot, so he's always free to stomp ya He carries a big stick so he can whomp ya Sharpens up his teeth so he can chomp ya So I think you'd better flee, 'cause I'm telling you that he's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot He bathes in the water that you drink Yuck! He's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot So watch out, 'cause he's closer than you think Boo! One more time! He's Bigfoot Ugh! He's Bigfoot Am I the only adult here? Why can't my grandpa act his own age? I think you should act your age.
And have a little fun.
Sorry, Grandma.
There's all sort of fun a young adult can have here.
You've just gotta use your imagination.
So, come on! We're making stick figures! Out of real sticks! Grandma! All right, all right, all right.
We'll think of something else.
Tonight! It all happens tonight! Perry the Platypus! How unexpected! And by unexpected, I mean Un-Unexpected.
What are you doing here? This is my week off.
Oh, that.
Well, uh Well, I suppose you should know I- I've started dating again.
I met someone online.
I know what you're thinking, but- But we're meeting tonight for the first time, and I'm-- Oh, you gotta go.
Oh no, Perry the Platypus! She can't see you! She doesn't know I have a nemesis! Oh, and I- I don't have time to destroy you.
Uh You could be my pet.
You think you can act like a mindless animal? Oh, uh, hello.
I'm looking for Strudelcutie4427.
Wow, aren't you the cutest little thing? Are you my date for this evening? No, no! Uh That would be me.
I'm Strudelcutie4427.
Nice to meet you.
Uh This is my pet platypus.
He was just going outside for a nightly walk.
Oh Could I hold him a little longer? He's so sweet.
Oh, yes.
Yes, you are.
Well, I guess he can stay a- A little bit, but You know what they say.
Three's a crowd and whatnot.
Ahh.
Just how I like 'em.
You just earned your marshmallow patch, my friend.
Ugh.
So, Grandpa, what should we do now? Tell scary stories? I got one! Oh, Phineas.
You always start.
Why not give another kid a chance? Yes.
How about you, Candace? No.
Okay.
Anyone else? Uh, Baljeet? W-What? Uh Uh Oh.
Thank you.
Well, this is a story about a kid who comes to this country, and goes to camp.
He like, has to share a tent with a bully.
It's really quite terrifying, actually.
Quite terrifying.
Take it away, Phineas.
All right, Grandpa.
I've got a good one.
It's about Bigfoot! Bigfoot? Bigfoot? Bigfoot? Grandma! Sorry, dear.
You are the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
You know, some people say we look alike.
Uh, I don't think so.
Not at all.
No, not at all.
Uh, darling, you haven't even touched your cucumber water.
I made it especially for you.
You know, Strudelcutie4427 was a lot less needy online.
Oh, yes.
.
Yes Ah I'm going to go get some air.
lot less needy online.
Oh, I don't even like cucumbers! Why do I always get the crazies? And they say that when the moon is full, like it is tonight, Bigfoot will return, and exact his revenge.
Huh? What was that noise? I really should have packed more underpants.
That sounded like screaming children! But it's not my birthday.
You guys crack me up! Phineas, what are you talking about? There's no Bigfoot! It's just Ferb in the tree! Look! See? They're just dummies! Nice rope skills, my friend! Then who is this? Ah, it's an inflatable Ferb.
Sounds like Ferb too.
That was awesome! What was that? You better stay here while I investigate.
Oh! Bigfoot? Huh? What? Bigfoot! No, no, no! Wait! It's me! Ugh! Strudelcutie4427? Whoops.
Agent P! Whoa! That was a good one, boys.
You sure got us.
I can't take it anymore! It was just a joke, Candace.
You're a joke, Phineas! Candace, honey, calm down! Calm down? Calm down?! I don't wanna calm down! But your screaming might attract a real Bigfoot.
A real Bigfoot.
Oh, give it a rest, Phineas! Everyone knows that there's no such thing as a real-- Oh, fine.
What's this one made of? Popsicle sticks and glitter? Uh, no.
Huh? Looks like we fooled 'em, ma! Did you see the look on their face? That was so cool! Oh, good one! And you got an inflatable Grandma, too.
Oh, I'm not inflatable.
I'm your Grandma's identical twin.
I only come out once a year when these two want to prank someone.
Well, back to my closet.
See you next year, Lorraine.
Oh, come on.
Let's round up those scared kids and have some hot cocoa.
It's not the worst date I've ever had.
There was that one that kept stabbing me with a fork.
Get this off of-- I sure got you guys! You should have seen your faces! Only unsophisticated, immature brains would believe in monsters.
Yes, it takes a mature adult, such as myself, to know that there's no such thing a-as BIGFOOT! Oh, I do not believe her one bit.
Too much overacting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mmm-mmm I smell ham.
Mmm-mmm Hey, Perry.
Why are you all covered in lipstick?
What's the first thing you're going to do at camp, Buford? Find a nerd, take his underpants, and run 'em up the flagpole.
I don't think Camp Phineas and Ferb has a flagpole.
Then I guess I'll just find a nerd and take his underpants.
You may have my underpants.
They just got very messy all of a sudden.
Thanks, but it ain't the same if Buford don't rip 'em off of ya.
How about you, Isabella? The Fireside Girls and I are going to work on our accomplishment patches.
Yeah! Accomplishment patches! How about you, sis? What's the first thing you're gonna do at camp? First of all, it's not camp.
It's just Grandma and Grandpa's cabin, and it's boring.
But we made T-shirts.
Secondly, I don't like the outdoors, okay? I don't like bugs.
Phineas, are you even listening to me? I seem to have misplaced my ant farm.
Mom! Yes, Candace? Do I have to go to Grandma and Grandpa's? Oh, I think it's rather sweet that Betty Jo and Grandpa Clyde invite you kids and all your friends every year.
But I'm not a kid.
I'm a young adult.
Can I do something with you guys? Of course you can, dear.
You can join us at the antiques symposium.
This year's keynote address will debate Shellac vs.
Lacquer.
Woo-hoo! I'll take one of those shirts.
Where are they? Look.
Oh, here they come now.
Hey! Hiya, Grandpa! Well, hello Phineas! You haven't changed a bit! Grandpa, that's not me! That's Perry! Huh? Huh? Oh, oh right.
Looks like I need to get my glasses fixed! With the glasses.
And Turbo Ferb-o! Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Put 'er there Still a man of a few words, I see.
Well, actually I-- So, where's your sister? Hello? Hello?! What do you have to do to find a cell signal in this place? Candace? Oh, hi, Grandma.
How can you stand living out here in the middle of nowhere? Oh, come on, honey.
It's not so bad.
You'll see.
Alright, nature lovers! Time for vittles! "Vittles" is Grandpa-ese for "food".
Hey, where's Perry? Sorry about that, Agent P.
We haven't used that tree slide in years.
Not since I was at The Academy.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz seems to be up to something, Agent P.
He's hold up at his evil woodland retreat.
Your mission is to find out what he's up to.
Please, Agent P.
Be careful.
The Academy.
But I don't want to go to The Academy, Daddy.
I'm not your father, and it's been decided.
I love you, Daddy.
Oh, pesky bugs! I am trying to tan here! Hey, Candace.
I thought I'd bring my favorite camp counselor of Phineas special.
That is just a glass of limeade.
And I am not a counselor.
Hey, Phineas.
The girls have finished pitching the tents.
Can you sign here for our Tent Pitching achievement patches, please? Sure thing.
What are you doing? Well, as camp director, I'd say I'm "doing my job".
Gather around, kids.
There's an old legend Well, not that I believe it, about the Sasquatch.
A race of giant, hairy creatures living up here in these very woods.
If my memory serves, I think there was a song written about it.
Really? Do you remember any of it? (Song: He's Bigfoot) He remembers.
He's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot He'll eat you with his taters and his greens He's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot 'Cause to Bigfoot you're a fleshy tangerine Oh no! He goes barefoot, so he's always free to stomp ya He carries a big stick so he can whomp ya Sharpens up his teeth so he can chomp ya So I think you'd better flee, 'cause I'm telling you that he's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot He bathes in the water that you drink Yuck! He's Bigfoot He's Bigfoot So watch out, 'cause he's closer than you think Boo! One more time! He's Bigfoot Ugh! He's Bigfoot Am I the only adult here? Why can't my grandpa act his own age? I think you should act your age.
And have a little fun.
Sorry, Grandma.
There's all sort of fun a young adult can have here.
You've just gotta use your imagination.
So, come on! We're making stick figures! Out of real sticks! Grandma! All right, all right, all right.
We'll think of something else.
Tonight! It all happens tonight! Perry the Platypus! How unexpected! And by unexpected, I mean Un-Unexpected.
What are you doing here? This is my week off.
Oh, that.
Well, uh Well, I suppose you should know I- I've started dating again.
I met someone online.
I know what you're thinking, but- But we're meeting tonight for the first time, and I'm-- Oh, you gotta go.
Oh no, Perry the Platypus! She can't see you! She doesn't know I have a nemesis! Oh, and I- I don't have time to destroy you.
Uh You could be my pet.
You think you can act like a mindless animal? Oh, uh, hello.
I'm looking for Strudelcutie4427.
Wow, aren't you the cutest little thing? Are you my date for this evening? No, no! Uh That would be me.
I'm Strudelcutie4427.
Nice to meet you.
Uh This is my pet platypus.
He was just going outside for a nightly walk.
Oh Could I hold him a little longer? He's so sweet.
Oh, yes.
Yes, you are.
Well, I guess he can stay a- A little bit, but You know what they say.
Three's a crowd and whatnot.
Ahh.
Just how I like 'em.
You just earned your marshmallow patch, my friend.
Ugh.
So, Grandpa, what should we do now? Tell scary stories? I got one! Oh, Phineas.
You always start.
Why not give another kid a chance? Yes.
How about you, Candace? No.
Okay.
Anyone else? Uh, Baljeet? W-What? Uh Uh Oh.
Thank you.
Well, this is a story about a kid who comes to this country, and goes to camp.
He like, has to share a tent with a bully.
It's really quite terrifying, actually.
Quite terrifying.
Take it away, Phineas.
All right, Grandpa.
I've got a good one.
It's about Bigfoot! Bigfoot? Bigfoot? Bigfoot? Grandma! Sorry, dear.
You are the cutest thing I've ever seen.
Yes, you are.
Yes, you are.
You know, some people say we look alike.
Uh, I don't think so.
Not at all.
No, not at all.
Uh, darling, you haven't even touched your cucumber water.
I made it especially for you.
You know, Strudelcutie4427 was a lot less needy online.
Oh, yes.
.
Yes Ah I'm going to go get some air.
lot less needy online.
Oh, I don't even like cucumbers! Why do I always get the crazies? And they say that when the moon is full, like it is tonight, Bigfoot will return, and exact his revenge.
Huh? What was that noise? I really should have packed more underpants.
That sounded like screaming children! But it's not my birthday.
You guys crack me up! Phineas, what are you talking about? There's no Bigfoot! It's just Ferb in the tree! Look! See? They're just dummies! Nice rope skills, my friend! Then who is this? Ah, it's an inflatable Ferb.
Sounds like Ferb too.
That was awesome! What was that? You better stay here while I investigate.
Oh! Bigfoot? Huh? What? Bigfoot! No, no, no! Wait! It's me! Ugh! Strudelcutie4427? Whoops.
Agent P! Whoa! That was a good one, boys.
You sure got us.
I can't take it anymore! It was just a joke, Candace.
You're a joke, Phineas! Candace, honey, calm down! Calm down? Calm down?! I don't wanna calm down! But your screaming might attract a real Bigfoot.
A real Bigfoot.
Oh, give it a rest, Phineas! Everyone knows that there's no such thing as a real-- Oh, fine.
What's this one made of? Popsicle sticks and glitter? Uh, no.
Huh? Looks like we fooled 'em, ma! Did you see the look on their face? That was so cool! Oh, good one! And you got an inflatable Grandma, too.
Oh, I'm not inflatable.
I'm your Grandma's identical twin.
I only come out once a year when these two want to prank someone.
Well, back to my closet.
See you next year, Lorraine.
Oh, come on.
Let's round up those scared kids and have some hot cocoa.
It's not the worst date I've ever had.
There was that one that kept stabbing me with a fork.
Get this off of-- I sure got you guys! You should have seen your faces! Only unsophisticated, immature brains would believe in monsters.
Yes, it takes a mature adult, such as myself, to know that there's no such thing a-as BIGFOOT! Oh, I do not believe her one bit.
Too much overacting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mmm-mmm I smell ham.
Mmm-mmm Hey, Perry.
Why are you all covered in lipstick?