Ranma 12 s01e17 Episode Script
Episode 17
Could you take this to Dr.
Tofu? I made some extra for him.
I coulda done this by myself.
Why d'you havta tag along? I want to see Dr.
Tofu's expression.
You sure it isn't you-know-what? You're worried about me, Ranma? You have got to be kiddin'.
Hey! Wait up! I ain't got all night, lady! Where is it!? Is that how you talk to a customer!? Here you go.
Kasumi made it for you! She's always so kind! I'll return your dish.
Come in and wait.
- Okay.
- Doctor! That's the bathroom.
Doctor.
That's the window.
He's hopeless.
Dr.
Tofu is really crazy about Kasumi.
What a huge Buddhist altar! Is anyone home? What is it? Mister altar-dealer! Sorry, we already have one.
It's been so long, Tofu.
Th-That voice! It can't be! Tofu! Have you been keeping well? M-Mother!? Mother? What is it? You could have called before you came! Forget that! Pay your respects to your father! Now, tell me why you've come.
Take a look at this.
What is it? It's a matchmaking photo! Matchmaking You mean marriage? M-Me!? Now aren't those nice wide hips? She could almost beat out Akane! She's the winner of the All-Japan Pelvic Contest! She's a member of the "Pelvic Pride Society"! Her new song, "The Big Hips Blues", will soon be released! "Big Hips Blues"? Big hips bear strong, healthy children! That means strong bloodlines, good business and traffic safety! It's the sign of a good wife! Looks are overrated! But Mother, I don't want to get married yet.
You what!? Father! Tofu is saying mean things to me! He's not the son I raised! Goodbye, cruel world! M-Mother! Lemme go! M-Mother, stop it! Let me die! Father, I'm coming to join you! Dr.
Tofu is already in love with someone! What was that? Akane! The girl that Dr.
Tofu loves is Good evening! I made a mistake on your dinner.
I mistook sugar for the salt, so I made you a new dish.
Coming! I kind of like sweetened Spicy Chinese pork and tofu Won't you come in? Akane's here already, and And Something else? It's nothing.
I'll return your dish.
Dr.
Tofu? That's not the door.
You're so silly.
Of course not.
It's this way.
What are you to my son? Kasumi, this is Dr.
Tofu's mother! How do you do? I'm Kasumi Tendo.
Are you his "special friend"? Not at all! You don't say.
Dr.
Tofu's loved Kasumi for as long as I can remember.
And now He's probably saved loads of money for just that reason! Nabiki! You're not plotting some way to exploit his weakness! "Exploit"? That's rude! Do I look like some con artist? Exactly! You are uncute.
That's fine! Did you sleep well, Mother? Go fetch me some water for the altar? Mother? About our discussion last night You've changed your mind? I'm just not ready to get married yet.
Father! He's still saying mean things! He's not my son! Mother, will you stop it! Father, I'll be joining you now! What on Earth? Look out! Mother, allow me to introduce my assistant, Mr.
Saotome.
Pelvic Bone Hello? Dr.
Tofu? Are you home? Hello there, Nabiki.
I'd like to talk to you for a second.
You must be hot in that coat.
If I pretend to be your girlfriend your mother will stop worrying.
So how about You're going to charge me? Akane tells me your mother's a tough nut to crack.
But 600 yen is too much, surely.
The fee includes sales tax.
Do I have a choice? It's a done deal.
Bring some pudding, a parfait cheesecake, a strawberry tart, pumpkin pie, what else? Could I please have another glass of water? Dr.
Tofu belongs with Kasumi! Ranma, go on ahead.
Why? I want to stop someplace on the way.
Okay! Don't you understand what I said? Don't follow me! Okay.
Ueno Zoo must be low on money, to send pandas out to work.
Excuse me! Is Dr.
Tofu He's out on a house call.
The truth is Dr.
Tofu and I are seeing each other.
What? "Seeing each other"!? So you're the one he loves!? Yes! I would like to be his wife someday! I see! That's one nice sturdy pelvis you have there! You could beat out the Pelvic Contest winner! You pass! You can be Bridal Candidate No.
Two! Father, our son isn't as dumb as he looks! Praise the name of Amida Buddha! This will cost more than 600 yen an hour! We have to put up a good front for your mother! What? Did you say she's your bride!? Br-Bride? Well, let's just say she's a girl I like Nabiki! Co-o-m-i-n-g! Hello, Mother! I'm Nabiki.
E-Eventually we plan to wed.
Right, Nabiki? Yes, my darling.
The two of us will b-build our happy home They're not much, but I guess they'll do.
You pass! You can be Bridal Candidate No.
Three! "Number Three"? You're a sly one! You get that from your father! Father! Father, did you see that? We'll have Tofu's bride decided before you know it! Praise the name of Amida Buddha! "Big Hips! The Big Hips" "Blues!" Change back before you get in the tub! You dumped out all the hot water! Ranma.
What.
Ranma.
My old man told me the whole story.
You're goin' to be Dr.
Tofu's wife.
I, uh Akane Congratulations! You can't cook, and you ain't much of a looker.
But you do have muscles and brute strength! Plus, you've got the biggest hips in Japan! You'll be so happy! You'll be so happy! Big Hips Blues! Thank you ever so much! You don't know anything! "Ah-h-h Wah-wah-wah! The Big Hips" "Wah-wah-wah Blues!" "We're having a party at the clinic today".
"Please come".
"Signed, Dr.
Tofu and his mother, Kin".
Anything to help Kasumi.
Kasumi? I'm going out for a while.
What could this be? Akane? - Nabiki!? - Akane!? What are you doing here!? It was me.
I called you both here.
So you two are sisters! Well, come on in.
A-Akane? Why!? She came to me on her own to tell me her intentions.
Isn't that right? Akane, you didn't! And what about you!? Me? I well Y' know.
Now we will conduct the age-old bridal ceremony of our ancestors.
"Ceremony"!? Prepare the podium! This ceremony helps to determine who has the superior hips! Allow me to demonstrate! "The best way to choose a bride" "Is to use this method" "Out! Safe!" A one! A two! A" "Three!" Let's start the ceremony! Akane's gonna win for sure! Which is why you're going! What'd you do that for!? Ranma, why don't you become Dr.
Tofu's bride? It looks great on you! You gotta be kiddin'! Good luck.
"The best way to choose a bride" "Is to use this method".
"Out! Safe!" Stop the contest! - Ranma! - Who's that girl!? You wouldn't be Mother Tofu, would you? I'm your son's fiancee! Tofu and I were engaged long before these two showed up! Right, Tofy-Baby? You lunatic! What are you doin', you dirty old woman! These are the hips I've been searching for! Strong enough for a man, but supple enough for a woman! Tofu, I've decided on this girl! Ranma is Dr.
Tofu's bride!? What a nice idea.
Hello? My, aren't you all having fun! Kasumi! A costume party? You should have told me! Kasumi, we I.
C-Come on in, Kasumi.
M-Mother! I-I'll decide f-for myself! H-here and n-now! Tofu! What's wrong!? I-I love you! My sweet Betty! Dr.
Tofu! You're such a kidder! To Miss Kin Father, today Tofu looked just like you used to.
I knew from the first that Tofu was in love with that girl.
I did all sorts of things to get him to finally admit it.
His friends are all so nice.
They tried so hard for his sake.
Now I can go home with my mind at ease.
Mr.
Panda, please don't tell any of this Not that a panda understand human speech.
Now, Father, we should be getting on home.
Praise the name of Amida Buddha.
Mother, are you leavin' so soon!? Whadya do that for!? That's enough.
The mother knows everything.
You must be Kasumi, right? Yes.
Walk me to the train station? All right.
You go on ahead with her, son.
Sorry to be so much trouble to you.
Not at all! I don't mind.
Doctor! The station's the other way! Akane, if Tofu should propose to her, please look after them.
S-Sure.
Tofu! You're making me run to catch up? Tofu! That's right.
Say goodbye to Mr.
Panda for me? What an incredible old lady.
Yes.
She's also a wonderful mother.
Yup.
So Ranma, why did you try to be Dr.
Tofu's fiancee? Huh? Well, I 'Cause I'm cuter than you.
You? A man-woman? What? No one would marry you anyway! You have no right to say that! - You're so uncute! - Bleah!
Tofu? I made some extra for him.
I coulda done this by myself.
Why d'you havta tag along? I want to see Dr.
Tofu's expression.
You sure it isn't you-know-what? You're worried about me, Ranma? You have got to be kiddin'.
Hey! Wait up! I ain't got all night, lady! Where is it!? Is that how you talk to a customer!? Here you go.
Kasumi made it for you! She's always so kind! I'll return your dish.
Come in and wait.
- Okay.
- Doctor! That's the bathroom.
Doctor.
That's the window.
He's hopeless.
Dr.
Tofu is really crazy about Kasumi.
What a huge Buddhist altar! Is anyone home? What is it? Mister altar-dealer! Sorry, we already have one.
It's been so long, Tofu.
Th-That voice! It can't be! Tofu! Have you been keeping well? M-Mother!? Mother? What is it? You could have called before you came! Forget that! Pay your respects to your father! Now, tell me why you've come.
Take a look at this.
What is it? It's a matchmaking photo! Matchmaking You mean marriage? M-Me!? Now aren't those nice wide hips? She could almost beat out Akane! She's the winner of the All-Japan Pelvic Contest! She's a member of the "Pelvic Pride Society"! Her new song, "The Big Hips Blues", will soon be released! "Big Hips Blues"? Big hips bear strong, healthy children! That means strong bloodlines, good business and traffic safety! It's the sign of a good wife! Looks are overrated! But Mother, I don't want to get married yet.
You what!? Father! Tofu is saying mean things to me! He's not the son I raised! Goodbye, cruel world! M-Mother! Lemme go! M-Mother, stop it! Let me die! Father, I'm coming to join you! Dr.
Tofu is already in love with someone! What was that? Akane! The girl that Dr.
Tofu loves is Good evening! I made a mistake on your dinner.
I mistook sugar for the salt, so I made you a new dish.
Coming! I kind of like sweetened Spicy Chinese pork and tofu Won't you come in? Akane's here already, and And Something else? It's nothing.
I'll return your dish.
Dr.
Tofu? That's not the door.
You're so silly.
Of course not.
It's this way.
What are you to my son? Kasumi, this is Dr.
Tofu's mother! How do you do? I'm Kasumi Tendo.
Are you his "special friend"? Not at all! You don't say.
Dr.
Tofu's loved Kasumi for as long as I can remember.
And now He's probably saved loads of money for just that reason! Nabiki! You're not plotting some way to exploit his weakness! "Exploit"? That's rude! Do I look like some con artist? Exactly! You are uncute.
That's fine! Did you sleep well, Mother? Go fetch me some water for the altar? Mother? About our discussion last night You've changed your mind? I'm just not ready to get married yet.
Father! He's still saying mean things! He's not my son! Mother, will you stop it! Father, I'll be joining you now! What on Earth? Look out! Mother, allow me to introduce my assistant, Mr.
Saotome.
Pelvic Bone Hello? Dr.
Tofu? Are you home? Hello there, Nabiki.
I'd like to talk to you for a second.
You must be hot in that coat.
If I pretend to be your girlfriend your mother will stop worrying.
So how about You're going to charge me? Akane tells me your mother's a tough nut to crack.
But 600 yen is too much, surely.
The fee includes sales tax.
Do I have a choice? It's a done deal.
Bring some pudding, a parfait cheesecake, a strawberry tart, pumpkin pie, what else? Could I please have another glass of water? Dr.
Tofu belongs with Kasumi! Ranma, go on ahead.
Why? I want to stop someplace on the way.
Okay! Don't you understand what I said? Don't follow me! Okay.
Ueno Zoo must be low on money, to send pandas out to work.
Excuse me! Is Dr.
Tofu He's out on a house call.
The truth is Dr.
Tofu and I are seeing each other.
What? "Seeing each other"!? So you're the one he loves!? Yes! I would like to be his wife someday! I see! That's one nice sturdy pelvis you have there! You could beat out the Pelvic Contest winner! You pass! You can be Bridal Candidate No.
Two! Father, our son isn't as dumb as he looks! Praise the name of Amida Buddha! This will cost more than 600 yen an hour! We have to put up a good front for your mother! What? Did you say she's your bride!? Br-Bride? Well, let's just say she's a girl I like Nabiki! Co-o-m-i-n-g! Hello, Mother! I'm Nabiki.
E-Eventually we plan to wed.
Right, Nabiki? Yes, my darling.
The two of us will b-build our happy home They're not much, but I guess they'll do.
You pass! You can be Bridal Candidate No.
Three! "Number Three"? You're a sly one! You get that from your father! Father! Father, did you see that? We'll have Tofu's bride decided before you know it! Praise the name of Amida Buddha! "Big Hips! The Big Hips" "Blues!" Change back before you get in the tub! You dumped out all the hot water! Ranma.
What.
Ranma.
My old man told me the whole story.
You're goin' to be Dr.
Tofu's wife.
I, uh Akane Congratulations! You can't cook, and you ain't much of a looker.
But you do have muscles and brute strength! Plus, you've got the biggest hips in Japan! You'll be so happy! You'll be so happy! Big Hips Blues! Thank you ever so much! You don't know anything! "Ah-h-h Wah-wah-wah! The Big Hips" "Wah-wah-wah Blues!" "We're having a party at the clinic today".
"Please come".
"Signed, Dr.
Tofu and his mother, Kin".
Anything to help Kasumi.
Kasumi? I'm going out for a while.
What could this be? Akane? - Nabiki!? - Akane!? What are you doing here!? It was me.
I called you both here.
So you two are sisters! Well, come on in.
A-Akane? Why!? She came to me on her own to tell me her intentions.
Isn't that right? Akane, you didn't! And what about you!? Me? I well Y' know.
Now we will conduct the age-old bridal ceremony of our ancestors.
"Ceremony"!? Prepare the podium! This ceremony helps to determine who has the superior hips! Allow me to demonstrate! "The best way to choose a bride" "Is to use this method" "Out! Safe!" A one! A two! A" "Three!" Let's start the ceremony! Akane's gonna win for sure! Which is why you're going! What'd you do that for!? Ranma, why don't you become Dr.
Tofu's bride? It looks great on you! You gotta be kiddin'! Good luck.
"The best way to choose a bride" "Is to use this method".
"Out! Safe!" Stop the contest! - Ranma! - Who's that girl!? You wouldn't be Mother Tofu, would you? I'm your son's fiancee! Tofu and I were engaged long before these two showed up! Right, Tofy-Baby? You lunatic! What are you doin', you dirty old woman! These are the hips I've been searching for! Strong enough for a man, but supple enough for a woman! Tofu, I've decided on this girl! Ranma is Dr.
Tofu's bride!? What a nice idea.
Hello? My, aren't you all having fun! Kasumi! A costume party? You should have told me! Kasumi, we I.
C-Come on in, Kasumi.
M-Mother! I-I'll decide f-for myself! H-here and n-now! Tofu! What's wrong!? I-I love you! My sweet Betty! Dr.
Tofu! You're such a kidder! To Miss Kin Father, today Tofu looked just like you used to.
I knew from the first that Tofu was in love with that girl.
I did all sorts of things to get him to finally admit it.
His friends are all so nice.
They tried so hard for his sake.
Now I can go home with my mind at ease.
Mr.
Panda, please don't tell any of this Not that a panda understand human speech.
Now, Father, we should be getting on home.
Praise the name of Amida Buddha.
Mother, are you leavin' so soon!? Whadya do that for!? That's enough.
The mother knows everything.
You must be Kasumi, right? Yes.
Walk me to the train station? All right.
You go on ahead with her, son.
Sorry to be so much trouble to you.
Not at all! I don't mind.
Doctor! The station's the other way! Akane, if Tofu should propose to her, please look after them.
S-Sure.
Tofu! You're making me run to catch up? Tofu! That's right.
Say goodbye to Mr.
Panda for me? What an incredible old lady.
Yes.
She's also a wonderful mother.
Yup.
So Ranma, why did you try to be Dr.
Tofu's fiancee? Huh? Well, I 'Cause I'm cuter than you.
You? A man-woman? What? No one would marry you anyway! You have no right to say that! - You're so uncute! - Bleah!