So Random! (2011) s01e17 Episode Script

Give it up for the casts of "so random!" Hey everybody.
We've got a great show for you tonight.
Yeah, Amy and Charlie Duncan from Goold Luck Charlie are here.
So give it up for Leigh-Allyn Baker.
And Mia Talerico! - Where are they? - She's taking a nap.
- Okay, excuse us for just a minute.
Okay.
- One second.
- Yes, you're coming.
Come on.
- We'll be right back.
Hey, wake up.
It's show time.
Yeah, we've got your sippy cup of warm milk.
And your favorite stuffed animal.
Oh, it's open.
Let's go.
Shh, she's napping.
She's napping.
Aww, she's so cute all curled up.
Oh, she's such a little angel.
- Come on, wake her up.
We've got a show to do.
- I ain't waking her up.
I'll do it.
- Get up.
- Who's there? What do you want? How dare you? - Oh oh oh.
- I Yay, milky time! We've got a great show for you tonight.
Pia toscano is here.
Mia, you get to meet Pia.
Mine.
"so random!" it's a party, get down - "so random!" - It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around a fantastic journey, a little bit of this and that you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, get set 'cause it's time to roll with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random and do our thing come on It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!" All important questions.
But the most important is This is "why? With Mia.
" Please welcome donald trump! Let me just say it's a honor for you to have me on your show.
Why? Because people want to know what the Donald has to say.
Which is why so many people tune into.
My very successful tv show "the apprentice" In which I fire people for the huge fun of it.
Why? Why not? Why? I did not see that coming.
Why? Most people just want to know about my hair.
Why? Because everyone wants to know why it looks like this.
Why? You want to know? You really want to know? Okay, I was walking through central park.
When a bird fell out of a tree into my hair, Built a nest.
I liked the way it looked.
Why? Because the squirrels that lived in there looked ridiculous.
And I like the sound of chirping in the morning.
Why? 'cause no one else will chirp to me, okay? Why? Why? Why? 'cause I'm the kind of guy who goes on tv and fires people.
You know who should be fired? Me.
Donald Trump, you're fired.
Why? For being a mean mean man.
Oh, wait a second.
It's feeding time.
Here you go, little birdies.
There you go.
This has been "Why? With Mia.
" Join us next time on Hi! It's me Fred.
Argh! - Why? - I like talk shows.
- Why? - And I like toddlers.
- Why? - And I like toddlers who have talk shows.
Argh! - Why? - Oh my gosh.
- Why? - Whaa! - Why? - I'm Fred.
I'm Fred.
I'm Fred.
Why why why why why? I'm Fred.
Oh my gosh.
Check your local listings.
shake that, shake that all around Welcome to north mid-valley South high.
Cheerleader squad tryouts.
Thanks for the welcome.
Ready? Set.
Okay, Billy.
Come on, I told you last time when you tried out.
You just aren't ready for the squad yet.
Oh, but it's a new day.
Ready? Set.
Five, six, seven and eight.
Hi.
I'm Billy.
Go Billy! And I still want to be a cheerleader.
Go cheerleading! I've got the talent, coordination.
And energy to keep a crowd on its feet.
Let me hear you say, "crowd on its feet.
" Go crowd on its feet! Some people say if you want to be noticed.
By the head of the pyramid kristy Walker You have to be an athlete just like my brother Steve.
Go athletes! So I tried out for the track team, The baseball team and the football team.
Go rejections! But that's okay because cheerleading is my sport.
Go backup plan! I just know.
If kristy Walker sees me cheering, It'll change everything.
Go unrealistic expectations! I will literally pay you $50.
If you let me be on the squad.
Go bribery! So what do you say? No one has to know I paid.
Go our little secret! Oh.
Oh, you probably shouldn't do that.
Congratulations, you did surprise me.
A good surprise? You got worse.
In a good way? Goodbye, Billy.
Does that mean I'm on the squad? Next! And I look forward to cheering with you.
Yay, I'm number one.
Billy.
Keep it.
Pardon me, do you happen to have any anti-dia? Hello, Tommy.
Oh hi, Ms.
Stone.
You know, I have to say, excellent class today.
You sure make history fun.
Yes, well, thank you, thank you.
Oh hey, this is my teacher.
- She's my history teacher Ms.
Stone.
- Hello.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You were asking about anti-dia-something.
- No, I was not.
- Anti-dia - I was not.
I was not.
- Anti-di - I was not.
- All right, my bad.
That's cool.
That's cool.
- I'm gonna start scanning your items.
- Well, about that All right, we've got one industrial-size package of toilet paper.
Well, Tommy, it's not all for me.
Well, I hope not, 'cause that is a whole lot of t.
P.
You know, in fact I don't even use toilet paper.
- Oh, well - I don't use it.
Different strokes, you know? Different people different kinds of strokes.
Let's see.
We've got a 12-pack.
Of burly man bathroom air freshener.
You know, I've got to say, I love the ads for these.
"ooh, gnarly smells.
Come out of burly men.
" Yes yes, well, you know, that's not for me either.
- Oh.
- No, I have a I have a burly neighbor downstairs.
Oh cool, you're picking it up for him - The burly neighbor downstairs? - Yes yes yes.
So nice.
So nice.
Oh wait, it's not scanning.
One sec.
Can someone please have a price check.
On burly man bathroom air freshener? That is the 12-pack not the one-pack, but the 12-pack.
Oh oh oh.
No.
Oh, never mind.
It's fine.
Never mind.
Forget about that price check.
For the 12-pack not the one, but the 12.
You know what, boys? I'm just gonna use the self-checkout Lane.
We've got a four-pack, industrial backup plungers.
"for when you've got to go, But you've gone too much.
" - Wow, Tommy.
- And scene.
And scene, yes.
All that tv watching has really paid off.
Yeah, I know, I know.
I kind of know, like, every commercial.
Wow.
Let's see.
We've got some anti-fungal cream.
Oh my goodness, how did that get in my basket? That's crazy.
You know what's crazy? What's crazy.
Is paying full price for that.
Do you have the coupon for that? No, I don't know how it got into my basket.
- I have no idea.
It's very hot in here, Tommy.
- One second.
Can someone please bring me the coupon.
For big nasty itch anti-fungal cream? I got your back, Ms.
S.
Yes, good looking out.
Hey guys, I need that coupon for the big nasty itch cream.
I've got a teacher down here that has big nasty itches and she No no no, not for me.
Not for me.
I don't itch.
I've never itched a day in my life.
I don't know what itching feels like or even looks like.
So you just continue doing what you're doing.
And ignore everything that this person is saying.
You should really do something.
About that sweating problem, Ms.
Stone.
I'm just going to pay for this and I'm going to leave.
Congratulations, Ms.
Stone.
You're our millionth customer.
This is so good.
All right, okay, here.
We'll take a picture.
With your items so you can remember this forever.
I don't want to hold it.
I don't want to hold it.
- Smile for the camera.
- I don't want to hold it.
Smile smile.
Coming up next on "so random!" - I am Scott.
- And I am Elliot.
Rufus! You're not gonna believe this.
shake that, shake that all around, "so random!" Next candidate.
- I am Scott.
- And I am Elliot.
And we are here to Try out for cheerleading.
Well, I have to say I like the spirit, guys.
Let's see your routine.
Brother, it is our duty.
To spell out our school's name through cheer.
Ha, I accept your challenge.
Now I demand that you give me an "n.
" "n.
" Ha, well done.
Now we shall manifest together an "o.
" O-o-o-o-o.
O-o-o! N-o.
That's a no, boys.
Sorry.
To the debate team tryouts! Yeah! Bye.
Next.
yeah, come on.
I'm really excited about eating here, mom.
I heard they cook the food right in front of you.
Better than cooking it behind you.
Good one, mom.
Mother-daughter nights are always so special.
I'm actually here for a special night as well.
I plan on proposing to my long-term lady-friend tonight.
Aww, that's so romantic.
Well, the hostess said we can't start the meal.
Until whoever is sitting in that empty seat shows up.
What kind of person makes a reservation.
Then keeps everyone else waiting for 30 minutes? Oh, you're not gonna believe this But I just went swimming in the koi pond out front, So I had to wait 30 minutes before I ate.
Marco! Rufus? Oh no, actually it's "polo.
" It's like a game.
Rufus, how are you here? I made sure to plan this evening.
Around your being away on vacation.
Oh, you're not gonna believe this, But on the way to the airport Mr.
Bananas Oh, he's my talking monkey Got called to be on "american idol.
" He also sings.
So he's driving to Hollywood.
He has a hybrid.
Better than a low-brid.
Mom, are you too close to the grill? Because you are on fire.
Hey hey.
Where is our waiter already? You're not gonna believe this, But I'm your waiter.
Welcome to bunnyhanna.
Can I take your order? Rufus, there is literally no way you can be our waiter.
Oh, you're not gonna believe this, but Carl He was your waiter called in sick He had explosive earwax So I'm filling in for him.
So how are you for drinks? Good? Rufus, we'll make this very simple for you.
We will all have the never-ending shrimp special.
Oh, you're not gonna believe this, But that ended before you finished that sentence.
Rufus Just go get us anything on the menu.
Finally.
Joanne, when a principal.
And a history teacher/ badminton assistant coach.
Cross paths in this crazy world, Continue to live with his mother Or say these five little words You're not gonna believe this Rufus, those were not the five little words.
But I'm also your chef.
Hyah! You guys like salad? Gotta stay healthy.
Hey hey, Rufus.
Hey hey, Rufus.
Where is the chef.
That was supposed to be here? Oh He has the ring.
Oh, you're not gonna believe this.
Before he left, he gave me this.
Oh, thank goodness.
Mm.
Joanne Will you marry me? What? Where's the ring? Oh, you're not gonna believe this, But I'm keeping it safe for you.
Right now the ring is right about - It's here.
- Oh! You ate my engagement ring? Mm-hmm.
Wait, joanne, your engagement ring? Does this mean? Yes, principal zania, I will marry you.
Aww.
Rufus, would you do me the honor.
Of wrapping yourself around my future bride's ring finger? Oh, principal zania, it's beautiful.
I love it.
It's so big.
Coming up next on "so random!" There's no way we can lose.
this time I'm gonna do it my way this time you're finding out the hard way this time I'm gonna go back to the girl I was on the night you found me "so random!" Next.
Next.
Hello? Hi.
Name? Amber-lee Amber star fort.
Come on, smile now.
I am.
I'm sorry, is there someone back there with you? Oh, it's just little old me.
Isn't my face just as red as a ladybug sitting on a cherry tomato? Where are my manners? My name is Lorraine amber-lee star fort.
Twice regional champion cheerleader.
When I went to school here.
- Oh, and I'm her mom.
- Oh.
Well, I'm sorry, but parents.
Actually need to wait out in the hall, so Ab-so-lute-ly.
Did I mention twice regional champ? Yeah, you did.
All right.
Now go get 'em, sugar-booger.
Okay, Amber, whenever you're ready.
There's no way we can lose.
The other team deserves all boos.
Okay, stop stop.
Oh.
I am so sorry.
Y'all just keep on going.
Pretend I am not even here.
- We're - Gonna win win win.
As soon as we begin-in-in! Cha-cha-cha-cha.
- Go me! - Okay okay okay, stop stop stop.
This just is not gonna work out.
Oh, I am so sorry, sugar-booger.
Okay? Better luck next year.
Now you just run on home.
When do we start? Never, Sugar-booger.
Next.
"so random!" Give it up for Pia toscano! well, I'm mad at you I ain't gon' take it no more my bags is packed at the back of your door 'cause I don't know who I am no more you won the battle, but you lost the war I've been in denial now I'm living the truth been down for a while now I'm standing up to you oh, this time this time I'm gonna do it my way this time you're finding out the hard way this time I'm gonna go back to the girl I was on the night you found me no more holding back the real me just wait, in a minute you'll see this time, just in time it's my time I'm getting back to the real me don't try to stop me with the words you say 'cause I'm sick and tired of the games you play gonna free myself gonna make the change and like a butterfly I'ma spread my wings been crying for too long now I'm drying my eyes grounded for so long now it's time for me to fly this time this time I'm gonna do it my way this time you're finding out the hard way this time I'm gonna go back to the girl I was on the night you found me no more holding back the real me just wait, in a minute you'll see this time, just in time it's my time getting back to the real me I'm mad at you I ain't gon' take it no more my bags is packed at the back of your door I promise you this time this time I'm gonna do it my way this time you're finding out the hard way - this time - This time I'm gonna go back to the girl I was on the night you found me no more holding back the real me, just wait in a minute you'll see - this time, just in time - This time it's my time Time getting back to the real me this time I'm gonna do it my way this time you're finding out the hard way this time I'm gonna go back - to the girl I was - On the night you found me and I'm not gon' do it no more no more holding back the real me just wait a minute, you'll see this time, just in time it's my time I'm getting back to the real me oh oh oh I'm mad at you I ain't gon' take it no more.
.
Thank you.
Thanks, guys.
We had a great show tonight.
Give it up one more time for Pia toscano! And fresh from her latest nap, Big round of applause for our special guest star Leigh-Allyn Baker! Thank you.
Thank you so much for having me, you guys.
I had a great time.
All right, Mia, take us home.
Bye, everybody.
Goodbye.
"so random!" it's a party, get down "so random!" get down arty, "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around a fantastic journey, and that it of this you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, to roll cause it's time with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang - so let's get random - Come on!