St. Denis Medical (2024) s01e17 Episode Script

1
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SIGHS] I like to get
a feel for the space
before a big performance.
You know, connect to the dance floor.
It's tight.
So every year,
we do one of those fancy galas.
You know, raise money for
the hospital kind of thing.
And there's a Dancing with
the Doctors competition.
Last few years, I've
come in second place,
which I suspect is because
of various partner-based weaknesses.
So this year, I'm going solo.
It's just Bruce-ic and the music.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, tonight's the night.
I feel it.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
[SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Why do meatballs feel so much fancier
when they're on a stick?
OK, Seinfeld, let's
hit the open bar, huh?
What's the deal with
meatballs on sticks?
Sticks belong outside.
Uh-huh. Honey, it's good, it's good.
So are jokes about urologists
too easy or just easy enough?
Actually, I was hoping this
year, your hosting duties
could focus less on the
funny and more on the money.
Yeah, well, I kind of
want them to come back
and donate again next year,
so I wanna concentrate
on keeping them laughing
and making sure they're having fun.
OK, yes, of course, make it fun.
Oh, you know what?
Amelia Irving just divorced
a real estate tycoon
and she gave $10 million to U of O.
Oh, she is bitter and looking
to spend that settlement.
You want me to say that?
No.
But you could say, hey,
it's raining in Seattle.
Why don't you make it rain here?
Oh, she's from Seattle.
I forgot to set that up.
- Mm-hmm.
- This is big money, Ron.
I'm gonna keep texting
you money jokes.
One of them requires
a Dr. Evil accent.
Cannot believe Joyce put
you on the judging panel.
That has way too much power for you.
I know.
She's decided I'm cool,
which is the first thing
that's ever made me
question my coolness.
[CHUCKLES] No more iPad.
And that is the last mom
thing I'm doing tonight.
- Really?
- Yes.
And Cindy is actually
staying the night,
and so we got a hotel room nearby.
Oh, got it all planned out.
No, not a plan. No.
Just like like a, you
know, like a goal, really.
I just want to, like,
turn off my mom-work brain
and just drink and dance.
[GASPS] Maybe I'll take a shot.
[SERENA GASPS]
The last time Tim and I
went out without the kids
was last year's gala,
and I ended up taking
over the coat check
because their ticketing
system was just a mess.
But this year, I'm focused
on having fun with Tim
and just letting loose
and avoiding the coat check
because the same guy is
in charge and it's insane.
[WHISPERING] Like, he does
not know what he's doing.
Try not to scuff the floor if you can.
Yeah, OK.
Whoa, Matthew, a little
overdressed, are we?
Agent double-O-zero over here.
I I didn't know how to
Great, now, I got to rework
the top of my act to include this.
- [BRUCE CHUCKLES]
- OK, love this.
Never been to a gala before,
so I probably shouldn't have
asked my mom what to wear,
but still excited for tonight.
Nice to be out on
the town with Serena.
I mean, not not with her.
It's not a it's not a date.
But, you know, dinner,
drinks, dancing,
all the elements are there,
so just pointing that out.
Guys, I've been here for 15 minutes.
Why am I not drunk yet?
I I could get you a drink.
Thanks, Matty.
I'll do a double WhistlePig
with a ginger back.
Yeah, that that's a classic.
I would take a white wine.
Old fashioned for me, please.
Dirty martini, olives, no onions.
I should probably be
writing these down.
Yeah, no drinks for me.
If you could get a few
bags of ice for lates,
- that'd be much apreesh.
- Got it.
Table nine, Matt's getting us drinks.
Welcome to the Saint Denis
annual gala and fundraiser.
Tonight, we are raising money
for a very worthy cause,
our pharmacy department's
addiction to pills.
[CHUCKLES] I'm kidding.
We all know you get them for free.
[LAUGHTER]
We have some very important
people in the house tonight.
Is that Ken Tran, head
of neuro over there?
- Guys, give it up for Ken.
- [APPLAUSE]
New suit, same bad hair plugs.
[LAUGHTER]
Normally, I can't tell the head
of neuro he has bad hair plugs
without being sent to HR.
But tonight, Ron is king,
and he shall do as he pleases.
Ladies and gentlemen
- Rain.
- Enjoy yourselves tonight.
- Eat, drink, network
- Donations.
And if you end up talking
to anyone from pathology,
I am sorry.
[APPLAUSE]
Ron, um,
I don't think you saw me over there.
Yeah, I saw you waving wildly
like an inflatable outside
of a Honda dealership.
Joyce, I'm not going to beg
these people for donations.
That kills the party mood.
It's not about the mood,
it's about the moola.
Could you just relax
and let me do my thing?
And I told him Fosse is a hack.
The thing about dance
and don't feel bad
for not knowing this,
most people don't
but the thing about dance is
it's all about where
you focus your energy.
- Wow.
- I know.
You know what, Bruce?
I can't wait for your dance.
I think it's going to
be [BLEEP] amazing.
[LAUGHS] Babe!
Dang, Alex, are you drunk already?
I'm just letting loose, baby!
All right.
We did pregame a little
in the parking lot.
Downed some Bailey's that
my mom got us for Christmas.
Yeah.
We took some Lactaid and
we are feeling ourselves.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[UPBEAT JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh, ma'am, please go ahead.
[CHUCKLING] Oh, thank you, dear.
Oh, yeah, of of course.
You know, I had my hip
replaced last year,
so it's hard for me
to stand a long time.
Oh, OK.
You know, I used to be a
chorus girl at the Riviera.
- Is that right?
- [LAUGHS] I'm Rosie.
♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Now, my physical therapist said
Um, so sorry.
Should should we
hop in the drinks line?
Oh, I don't drink.
I was just on the way
to the ladies room.
Of course. Could I?
No? All right, to
the back of the line.
Well, I'm just saying
you could treat heart disease
or brain cancer, but no, no,
you guys were, like, penises or bust.
[LAUGHTER]
Let's bring up our
next group of dancers.
Hello, hello, hello.
Paging Dr. Joyce Henderson.
- I'm right here.
- [SCATTERED LAUGHTER]
What are you doing?
[LAUGHS] I am co-hosting
this event with Dr. Ron.
Two emcees. Fun, right? [CHUCKLES]
Oh, hey, is that the
Kumars over there?
Hey, how's the trucking
business going?
'Cause there's one truck I
hope you brought tonight.
Beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep,
the money truck.
[SCATTERED LAUGHTER AND GROANS]
Hi, could I get a double WhistlePig,
two scotch and sodas,
a martini, an old fashioned,
and a glass of white wine?
Chardonnay or Sauvignon blanc?
Oh. Uh, I don't know.
Maybe maybe both.
And for the old fashioned,
do you want bourbon or rye?
Let let me just
text them really quick.
Yeah, sure. Just step to the side.
- I'll help the next guest here.
- Oh, no, no, no,
I'll take one of each
of those also, please.
OK, and is that a gin
martini or a vodka martini?
[SIGHS]
Just come on, man.
And at the end,
Scrooge realizes that he is happiest
when he is generous with his money.
I mean, that's a good lesson
for us all to learn, right?
Generosity with your money.
OK, why don't we bring up
our next performers, Dr. Lee,
and our very own Dr. Brady
doing the cha-cha?
- [APPLAUSE]
- Oh.
And I'd like to hear the cha-ching
of credit cards being swiped
over at the donation table.
Hey, hey, can we get a
glass of water up here
for my friend, Joyce?
'Cause I think she's a little thirsty.
[LAUGHTER]
But you got to blame that on my
guys over there at table four,
the psych department, for
not spotting this sooner.
What is the clinical term
for so desperate for
money it's embarrassing?
[LAUGHTER]
Got her. [LAUGHS]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh, hey, Keith.
Hey, you remember my husband, Tim?
Ah. Oh, yeah, hey.
- Parents night out, huh?
- [CHUCKLING] Yeah.
So where are the kids tonight?
No, we don't we don't
have any kids, Keith.
Oh, I'm sorry. I I
thought you had two.
Well, no, we had kids yesterday,
and we'll have them tomorrow,
but we don't have them tonight.
Oh, wait, seriously?
Yeah, we also don't have a mortgage.
Or a dog with bad eczema.
Or a bossy mother-in-law.
- Huh?
- Hey, let's get a refill.
- It's good to see you.
- Yeah, see you, Kyle.
My wife said if you're
afraid of small talk,
just ask about people's family.
It always works.
Well, it didn't, Linda.
It didn't.
They said that my accident
should have left me in a wheelchair.
Until Dr. Bruce saved me
[VOICE DISTORTED] With the power of
d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dance.
[EXPLOSION]
[FATBOY SLIM'S "THE
ROCKAFELLER SKANK" PLAYING]
Right about now ♪
The funk soul brother ♪
Check it out now ♪
The funk soul brother ♪
Right about now ♪
The funk soul brother ♪
Check it out now ♪
The funk soul brother ♪
♪
Right about now ♪
The funk soul brother ♪
Check it out now ♪
The funk soul brother ♪
♪
[GASPS]
♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Yes! [LAUGHS]
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Oh, my God!
Whoo, Bruce!
Amazing.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
With a score of 28,
that puts Dr. Schweitz in the lead.
Not a perfect score,
but he's got to feel
good about that effort.
One more time for Dr. Schweitz!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Uh, yeah, I'm happy.
I mean, technically, it felt, uh
flawless. [CHUCKLES]
But according to that
eight, apparently not.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[WATER BOTTLE CRUNCHES]
[BRUCE SIGHS]
I don't believe in giving 10s.
A 10 means you can't
imagine anything better.
Like, Ryan Gosling is
the hottest man alive,
but is he a 10?
No, he's a nine.
Ryan Reynolds is a six.
The stone is beautiful.
Wall-to-wall rocks,
just an incredible amount of rocks.
I'd love to see it.
Hey, guys, I have your drinks here.
Oh, did I take your seat, Matt?
Uh, yeah, a little bit.
Oh, OK.
Oh, I needed this. Thank you.
Oh, don't mention it.
That was from me, actually.
- I I
- Shots!
Hello, my friends.
How did you get those so fast?
There's another bar upstairs.
You gotta be kidding me.
I don't want you to
take this the wrong way,
but I'm gonna miss Fun Alex on Monday.
- Ah, honey, look at that.
- Wow.
You picked up a new nickname tonight.
Thank you. That's so sweet.
You know what I heard
is that when I go back
to being my normal self,
my friend will be disappointed,
but that's still very sweet.
No, no, no, no.
I just mean you seem so
relaxed and carefree.
I was gonna to say the same thing.
I think. It's it's
really hard to hear.
Matthew, you're shouting.
You know, in just a couple more years,
the kids won't need a babysitter.
And then, Fun Alex is gonna
be out on these streets
every week just tossing
back these shots.
Not these ones, probably.
They seem disgusting,
but still, you know?
Couple more years!
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
Unless we have another kid
and it puts us back in the weeds.
- I'd rather
- Although, Ella could babysit.
Oh, my God. Another kid? [SCOFFS]
Come on. Can you imagine?
What?
[LAUGHING] We're not come on, baby.
We're not having another.
We talked about this.
Yeah. Or did we?
I I I guess I didn't know
you made an official
decision about it, but.
Yeah. [LAUGHS]
Sorry. It's really hard to hear.
Did you guys say you're
having another kid?
Congrats!
No, Matt, we're not
having another kid.
Oh, OK.
Uh, congrats to that.
Matthew, cut the [BLEEP].
Are you ready to see some more doctors
try and dance away
their midlife crisis?
Well, guard your wallets,
because Joyce Henderson will
try and pick your pocket
when your head is turned.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hardy-har-har.
Very funny, Ron.
Oh, looks like she's
finally starting to relax.
Looks like somebody's been
hitting that Chardonnay.
[GURGLES]
Maybe if I had a drink,
I'd finally find you funny.
[LAUGHTER]
Speaking of funny, have you
guys seen Joyce's hair tonight?
Oh, Ron, you're just
jealous 'cause all your hair
ran off of your head and
settled on your back.
[LAUGHTER]
It's true.
All right, that's enough
from that heckler.
I don't know.
Should I go back up there
and help him out, you guys?
Yeah! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
What? Oh!
So I just heard that some
of the derm department isn't
having so much fun tonight.
- Would it
- Would it kill you to smile?
Oh, it would. Well,
then lay off the Botox.
[LAUGHTER]
Boom.
That was that was my punch line.
Yeah, but you didn't.
Keep up. Come on, Ron.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hey, geriatrics?
What's going on here?
Should I be worried?
Why don't we bring up our next dancer?
Ooh, Ron wants to get back to work.
- That's new.
- [LAUGHTER]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
No, because remember, we
were at Baskin-Robbins,
and the guy was getting mad at
you for taking so many samples?
I think he was just stressed
out because it was busy.
- I don't think I set him off.
- Right. No, I know.
But then there was that
family that had three kids,
and I was like, oh, my God,
having another kid would be insane.
And you were like, uh-huh.
I don't think it was
uh-huh, exclamation point.
I think was uh-huh, dot, dot, dot.
- I'm listening. Go on.
- Right.
Well, yeah, I think we
should just table it
for now, though, 'cause,
you know, it's date night.
- And we don't have any kids, so.
- Right.
Shouldn't we at least
decide when we
I think we should
just table it for now.
- If that's what you think.
- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
Hey, anyone want to dance?
Yes, I'll grab another drink
and meet you out there.
No one get in any more
passive-aggressive fights
until I get back, OK?
[LAUGHING] We're not. It's fine.
- It's so fun.
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, thank you. That means a lot.
Oh, hi.
How how's your night going?
- Pretty good, actually.
- Yeah?
About an 8 out of 10?
You should be happy.
Eight is the highest
score I've given tonight.
Oh, I'm happy. Happy, happy, happy.
I'm just wondering, though, what
what could I have done
better? [SNIFFLES]
You know, just so I can
improve for next year.
- Honestly, Bruce
- Mm-hmm?
Your technicals were flawless.
- Agree.
- Your choreography, inspiring.
- Obviously.
- But you wanted it too bad.
Like, the whole
performance just screamed,
love me, love me, please,
someone just love me.
[CHUCKLES] That's crazy.
Are you serious? No.
No, no, no. I don't
I don't feel that way inside.
Well, that's what it
looked like to me.
Anyway, your fly's down.
Oh, it's down a little bit.
Down a little bit.
Not enough to even mention.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
There's a guy over there
looks like our dentist.
Oh, yeah, a little bit. Yeah.
- It's the mustache.
- Yeah.
Can I say one last thing?
I know that we're busy
and it would not be easy,
but if we wanted to have another kid,
we'd make the time.
That's all I'm gonna say.
I don't wanna get into it, OK, honey?
Because I will just say
that I think you
think that making time
is easier than it actually is,
so oh, hey!
Look who it is! It's Keith!
Guys, I'd like you to
meet my wife, Linda.
Hi.
I'm not saying that it would be easy.
Linda's a dog trainer.
Yeah, honey, I said I don't
want to talk about it.
I know. I'm not trying to
talk-talk about it. I just
♪
I like your tux!
Uh, thanks.
So you can dance here now,
but I am saving the spot for someone,
so when they get here,
you you do have to move.
What?
So you can dance here right now
I'm just saying that it's
us and we can make it work.
It's not if we can make it work, baby.
It's if we want to.
Well, why wouldn't we want to?
Well, even with two kids,
I've had one night this year
where I don't feel constantly worried
and like I'm behind on
an endless list of tasks.
I get that, but one more
member of our family
is just another person to love.
I don't know if I have enough
love to give another person.
And our final performance,
retired Dr. Henry Tenon,
back to dance with his
daughter, Dr. Katie Tenon.
[APPLAUSE]
You know, before our last dance,
can we just give it up for Dr. Ron?
Bringing it every year.
I don't know how he can find time
to write all these jokes
between naps, but he does.
Well, how about Joyce? [CHUCKLES]
Desperate for your money,
but I see equally desperate
for your applause.
Where does that come
from? I don't know.
Take it up with her therapist.
Oh, Ron, so sad and bitter.
You know, you've heard of McDreamy.
Meet McGrumpy.
What's white, blonde,
and didn't have her first
kiss till she was 39?
Joyce Henderson, ladies and gentlemen.
You know, your wife is dating
a much younger, more fit man.
Yeah, well, your loser boyfriend's
at home polishing his action figures.
"Warhammer" figurines!
That fight, ten out of ten.
No notes.
[LOUIS ARMSTRONG'S "WHAT A
WONDERFUL WORLD" PLAYING]
Katie's trotting out her father.
A bit manipulative.
I mean, they're barely
using the space.
Come on.
Oh, my God, a home video?
Really?
♪
Oh, that is tender. [CHUCKLES]
[AUDIENCE AWWS]
She's twirling him now.
[SHAKILY] She's twirling him.
[SOBBING SOFTLY]
[BLEEP]
Money, money, money.
- The hospital needs money.
- Totally.
And sorry, it's my first year,
but isn't tonight about raising money?
Of course, it's it's
just the way she said it.
It's too much.
Oh, because she cares too much.
Right.
You're missing the whole point, Matt.
So the hospital doesn't need money?
You know what? Get out of here.
Got it.
Just here to get a glass of zin,
and then I'll be on my way.
Well, you do you.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
An old fashioned.
Amelia Irving?
That's me. Hi.
Joyce Henderson.
I'm the Executive
Director of St. Denis.
I'm so jazzed that you're here today.
- Thank you.
- Of course.
And great job up there, you two.
It was like a slightly funnier
version of my marriage.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
I mean but I am truly
sorry about the divorce
and everything that happened
as a result of that
massage parlor raid.
Right.
Well, it was nice to meet you.
Ms. Irving?
I'm sorry.
Joyce can be annoying
- sometimes
- Ron?
Because she's so passionate.
I've never met someone
with more of a commitment
to the future of this place
or any place, really, than Joyce.
I'm sorry if I'm embarrassing you.
No, not at all. Not at all.
Truth is, I couldn't do what
I do without the good work
of doctors like Ron.
You know, they do so
much with so little.
Just imagine if they
had more, you know?
She doesn't have to imagine.
You know, some people
have a five-year plan.
This maniac has a 20-year plan.
Wow.
What kind of ideas
are we talking about?
I do have a PowerPoint presentation.
Well, you want to know
how it went with Amelia?
Gee, I don't know,
Ron, what do you think?
Well, let me think.
Blammo!
BOTH: [SOFTLY] $10 million!
Shh, shh, shh.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
No, we're not in a fight.
No, one of us just wants another kid,
and the other one doesn't.
That's not actually, I
don't want that necessarily.
I just want her or you or her
to, you know, include
me in the discussion.
Of course, he's part of the
of course, you're part
of the discussion.
She can't help it.
She just steamrolls ahead sometimes.
- [SCOFFS]
- And that sounds bad.
It's not great.
What I mean is it's a good thing.
She's decisive and smart
and, you know, pretty much the
engine for our entire family.
You are.
Babe.
And I'm, obviously, there
to move heavy furniture
and carry our kids on
my shoulders at the zoo.
[GIGGLES]
- They get so sweaty.
- We have the sweatiest kids.
- Just sopping.
- [LAUGHS]
[ALEX SIGHS]
I'm sorry I put so
much on your uh-huh.
Of course, we'll keep discussing it.
Definitely not tonight.
This is my bad.
I feel like I ruined our date night.
No, it's
we still have that hotel room.
[INDISTINCT] What are
we still doing here?
[ALEX LAUGHS] Let's go.
Sorry, guys. We have to go.
Oh! [LAUGHS] No, honey, my shoes.
- I'll buy you new ones.
- [ALEX LAUGHS]
Dude, this isn't my coat.
Gucci?
You know what? This is my coat.
All right.
[SIGHS] All right,
what's done is done.
I may not respect your score,
but I'm a big enough man to accept it.
OK, cool.
Oh. [SNAPS FINGERS]
One more thing.
I will be informing Joyce
that you were inebriated during
your duties as dance judge.
I'm sorry, I have too much
integrity to turn a blind eye.
Sure, man.
Hey. Enjoy your first gala?
Ah, it was OK.
Um, not really what I expected.
[SIGHS] I know. The
food sucked this year.
I didn't really get to eat anything.
I spent a shockingly long
time in the bar line.
[SIGHS] We should go get McDonald's.
Oh, I could eat so
many nuggets right now.
Oh. Yeah, that'd be great.
So tonight didn't go
exactly as I hoped it would.
Didn't get to dance or
really drink with Serena.
Chaplain Steve still seems
to have it out for me,
but Serena and I did
get to have some dinner,
just the two of us, so
I really wasn't shouting.
[BELL CLANGS]
sync & corrections by awaqeded