The Garfield Show (2008) s01e17 Episode Script

1
-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
[upbeat theme song playing]
-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
That's right, Victoria,
we were switched at birth at the hospital.
-Odie!
-Ta-da!
Remote control emergency.
Will you please change the channel
before I get severe brain rot?
true heir of the Vanderfeller fortune.
No! That's the volume, Odie.
Did you forget everything I taught you?
It's the button on your left.
-Sir Leo is one of Hollywood's hottest
-First a soap opera, now a talk show.
-Well
-No, wait! That's Sir Leo!
under a great deal of stress lately.
Ever since he broke up with Paw Li,
the paparazzi have been harassing him.
[host] Paw Li is the Siamese
supermodel-turned-actress
who co-stars alongside Sir Leo
in his latest movie,
Cat on a Hot Bin Lid.
The movie has gotten rave reviews
but hasn't done so well in the box office.
No, and that's been
a huge disappointment for Sir Leo.
He hoped his celebrity status
would bring this art house film
the success of his previous blockbusters.
Some people have real problems.
My remote control doesn't work,
and am I complaining? No.
-Turn it off, will you, Odie?
-[Odie barks]
-[car arriving]
-[Odie] Huh?
[Liz sighs]
-I don't think anybody saw us.
-No one except the entire neighborhood.
You look like you just robbed a bank.
What are you hiding under there?
Plutonium? An alien specimen?
It's moving!
Jon? Please tell me
that's a live lobster in there.
[cat, British accent] Hello? I'm beginning
to feel rather cramped, if you don't mind.
An articulate live lobster?
You cloned me?
I have a copyright on that, you know.
Garfield, Odie, this is Sir Leo.
He's staying with us awhile.
He's in need of a vacation.
Sir Leo? Here?
This isn't exactly the French Riviera.
Liz is Sir Leo's vet.
She thought our house would be a place
for him to get away from the paparazzi
and recover from his nervous breakdown.
That's right. You'll be safe here.
The only danger is being bored to death.
[yipping]
And Odie's saliva.
What's with the nervous breakdown?
I thought you movie stars had it easy.
Not quite. I was thrown into show business
when just a kitten.
I've never lived the life
of an ordinary cat.
Come on then, I'll show you around.
But don't expect
any special celebrity treatment.
-Hungry?
-Famished.
-[burps]
-If I may, what exactly are these?
Fish sticks?
I'm not sure my nutritionist
would approve.
Man, movie stars have it rough.
I'll eat them if you don't.
Hey, not bad.
[crowd] Sir Leo! Sir Leo! Sir Leo!
-They're here.
-Who's here?
Them. The fans. The paparazzi.
[fans] Sir Leo! Sir Leo!
-Sir Leo!
-[Garfield gasps]
It's a sea of people out there!
How did they find you?
They always do.
I guess it's back to the fast lane for me.
Or maybe not. I could pretend to be you.
I mean, I'm practically identical, right?
Okay, okay, so I got a head start
on the fish sticks,
but no one will notice the difference.
Go get 'em, tiger. I owe you one.
-[fans cheering]
-[camera shutters snapping]
[fans chanting "Sir Leo!"]
[gasping]
Why can't they ever resist
the need to touch?
[fans] Sir Leo!
[Garfield] Whoa!
[man] Today, celebrity cat Sir Leo
spent an entire day signing autographs
and posing with fans.
[Sir Leo] Hey, Garfield! We're on TV!
Unlike his recent public appearances,
Sir Leo was in top form.
Our crew got the exclusive footage.
[fans on TV] Sir Leo! Sir Leo!
Brilliant! You make
a better Sir Leo than I do.
So, when do I get to ride in the limo?
[chuckles]
[fans cheering]
Have fun, Garfield.
[sighs] I think I'll go to bed.
When you get home,
I'll have Jean-Louis put you
on that papaya diet again.
I don't think I like Jean-Louis,
whoever he is.
Anyway, I hate to make you work
during your vacation, Leo,
but I couldn't pass up a TV commercial.
Sounds fun.
How much work can that possibly be?
-[man] Scene 3, take 5.
-[director] And action!
-Cat-viar puts the cat in caviar.
-Meow!
[director] Cut! Yes, um, Sir Leo, that was
good, but let's try that "meow" again.
[man] Scene 3, take 6!
[director] And action!
-Meow!
-[man] Cut!
[director] Good. Why don't we try it
a little more suave this time?
[man] Scene 3, take 7!
Meow!
[man] Scene 3, take 25!
-Meow.
-[man] Scene 3, take 57!
-Meow!
-[man] Scene 2, take 74!
[director] Well, I guess that's a wrap.
[fans] Sir Leo! Sir Leo!
To the movie theater, James.
Step on it, we're late for the premiere!
I'm warning you, there better be popcorn.
[fans chanting "Sir Leo!"]
[woman] It's the Deverminator!
[cat, like Arnold Schwarzenegger]
Hasta la vista, vermin!
[rooster crows]
[fans chanting "Sir Leo!"]
-No! It's not me you want, it's him!
-[chanting continues]
Leo, wake up!
[helicopter hovering]
Your fans, they're outside. They want you!
No, they want you.
Oh no, no, no. Here!
I'm not cut out for this celebrity stuff.
I want my life back!
Hey, who wanted to ride in the limo?
Who said celebrities had it easy?
The fans, the paparazzi,
they're your problems now.
Alright then, they're gonna get
a taste of the real me, or him.
Or me You know what I mean.
[fans applauding]
[fans gasp]
[blows raspberry]
[fans gasp]
[fans shouting]
[fans chanting "Sir Leo!"]
[Garfield laughs]
[man] Poor dog!
-[fans grumbling]
-[man] Look at him! Are you insane?
[Sir Leo laughs]
[Sir Leo] Brilliant. Priceless.
We're on every channel!
Thank you, my friend,
you've just brought me
a lot of free publicity! Whoo-hoo!
Yeah. We'll see who gets
the last laugh. Meow!
[fans cheering]
-[laughing]
-[fans applauding]
-[girl] Gross!
-[fans gasping]
[rock music blasting]
[laughs]
[Squeak] Attack!
[fans screaming]
Humans. So predictable.
Here's your pay check, Squeak.
[Odie straining]
[Squeak] Yoo-hoo!
Today, Sir Leo fans discovered
a different side
of their favorite celebrity.
Unlike his popular Deverminator character,
it turns out the star
is a rodent enthusiast.
The autograph session ended abruptly
when a swarm of mice attacked fans
and reporters, forcing them to flee.
Could this be the end of Sir Leo's career?
Me? A rodent lover?
I can never show my face
in Hollywood again!
You mean my face.
You stole my life remember?
Oh, you can have it back! Anything,
just help me get out of this mess!
So you're telling us
that wasn't the real Sir Leo?
The whole thing was a hoax,
a publicity stunt?
Yes, that's right.
Sir Leo desperately needed a vacation,
so we hired a look-alike
to impersonate him for a few days.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Sir Leo's belching,
pie-throwing look-alike!
[fans cheering and applauding]
Mwah! Mwah!
Who needs fame when you can be
the star of your own house?
Because every cat deserves luxury.
Cat-viar puts the cat in caviar.
Meow!
I do the work, and he gets the glory.
And the pay check. Life is so unfair.
-[Jon] Garfield, dinner!
-But I'm not complaining.
[snickers]
Gee! What's with all the reruns
and reality series?
It's a sad reality
that TV isn't what it used to be.
[Odie yips]
Garfield. Odie. Don't watch too much TV.
It's bad for your eyes, you know.
I'll blast you, you fiend! [laughs]
Okay, now, pay attention, people, please!
Make sure you use light whipping cream
or your cookie dough will be too thick.
-[silly soundtrack playing]
-[incoming missile whistles]
If the arguments in your house
are getting out of hand,
maybe you're just
what we've been looking for.
Learning is so much fun
with Rob the Giant Chicken!
Now sing along with me.
A, B, C ♪
[host] You're all talk
and no answer, Michael.
I'm afraid you are
the weakest brain. Goodbye!
[crowd boos]
[splat!]
You'd think out of 758 channels,
there'd be at least one decent show.
"Channel 145, Virtualodeon."
Sounds like a lame sci-fi movie.
Oh, well, what the heck.
[eerie soundtrack plays]
Good evening.
I am Professor Bonkers,
and I want to welcome you
to the beta testing of Virtualodeon,
a groundbreaking invention of mine
that will change the face
of broadcasting television forever!
Thanks to the state-of-the-art
holographic enhancer
that's way too advanced for you
to even comprehend,
Virtualodeon will bring
the characters of your favorite TV show
right into your very own living room!
Then you probably need a pair
of those silly 3D glasses.
Absolutely not!
That's the beauty of it!
Virtualodeon requires no 3D glasses!
Let's get cracking, shall we?
Who hasn't dreamed of exploring
the ocean depths without even getting wet?
Me.
Huh?
[yips]
[Odie] Huh?
[Odie yipping]
[laughs] Wow.
Hurry, Odie! Get me some tartar sauce.
-[shark snarls]
-[Odie shrieks]
Don't worry, Odie,
it's just an optical trick!
-It's not really
-[shark snarls]
It's real! It's really real!
[Garfield screams]
Hee hee hee! Did you enjoy it? Good.
That was only the beginning.
Now, has any one of you ever wanted
to be on a quiz show?
What's the capital of Bhutan?
Who invented penicillin? How old is Cher?
[Garfield stammering]
I'm afraid you are the weakest brain.
Goodbye!
-[buzzer sounds]
-[audience boos]
Mmm! This virtual pie tastes really nice.
And now, for our younger audience,
how about a little fairy tale?
Are you sure this bean is really magic?
Sure, kid.
Trust me, you won't be disappointed!
I've been had.
That's just an ordinary bean!
-I have a bad feeling about this, Odie.
-[Odie yips]
[sparks whooshing]
[laughing maniacally]
Did you really think you could defeat me,
wretched fool?
[laughing hysterically]
I love fairy tales! And now
Can't you see I'm in the middle
of a TV show?
Sorry, sir. There appears
to be a problem with this program.
The beanstalk is
no longer quite so virtual.
And the network got a call
from a lady asking if the shark
could please let go of her husband.
Oh, dear!
Ahem! Due to some unforeseen problems,
I am sorry to inform you that this program
will be terminated in ten seconds.
Ten, nine
Wow! Seems pretty solid, doesn't it, Odie?
Let me remind you that the network
is not liable for any damages
this program may have caused.
[yipping]
[Bonkers] Two one, zero.
-[beanstalk rumbling]
-[Garfield shrieks]
[Odie yips]
I need some coff [shrieks]
What's going on here? What's?
This has Garfield written all over it.
Garfield! Where are you?
Bad, bad cat!
Uh, I think I'm inside the TV.
Garfield, I know you're hiding here
somewhere.
Help!
No sign of him down here.
George Frika's shampoo
will leave your hair soft,
silky and manageable.
-Meow!
-Oh, and it will also make it clean!
[Jon] Stupid commercials.
Meow, meow!
Garfield is so gonna be grounded.
No lasagna for a week. No, a year!
-talk and no answer, Michael.
-Meow, meow! Whoa!
[Odie yipping]
Odie, what's wrong?
Quit barking at the TV!
It's just a dumb program
with Garfield in it.
-Garfield? But that's impossible!
-[band playing on TV]
[Garfield] Meow!
What are you doing in there?
Huh?
Get the TV program?
Okay. Let's see.
Channel 145, Virtualodeon.
Oh, no.
Something must have gone terribly wrong
and Garfield got sucked into the TV.
The network will know what to do.
Just hold on tight, Garfield, okay?
B as in "boy" and "banana"!
M as in "morning" and "mustard."
And Z as in, "Zip it, birdie."
You've gotta help! My cat was sucked
into the TV because of your program.
-A most deplorable loss.
-And you gotta help me get him back!
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Meanwhile, try to keep your cat
on a safe program,
preferably something uplifting.
[Jon] He's on some educational show.
He's learning the alphabet
with Rob the Giant Yellow Chicken.
[Odie sighs]
-You won't get away with this, Dr. Mo!
-[Mo laughing maniacally]
-[Garfield screams]
-Farewell, Agent 008!
[Mo laughing maniacally]
[Garfield shrieks]
[machine pounding]
[Jon shrieks]
Huh?
Garfield!
Someone switch to another channel.
-Hurry!
-No!
[008 screaming]
[screaming stops]
[Jon sighs]
[woman, cocking gun] It's here!
It's here!
Oh, no! I've sent Garfield
into a horror movie!
[alien screeching]
Help!
Why won't it work? Oh, no!
The batteries must have fallen out!
Odie, help me find the batteries!
[screeching]
Hurry!
Oh, no! We're going to be drooled over!
If this isn't an emergency,
I don't know what is.
-[alarm sounding]
-[alien gasps]
[Garfield shrieking]
-[woman shrieking]
-Oh, this is pretty bad.
Don't worry, Garfield!
I found new batteries!
Now, make sure you put loads
of this yummy cheese
between each lasagna layer.
[Jon sighs]
-Oh, hello, kitty cat.
-[Garfield laughs]
[doorbell rings]
That must be Professor Bonkers.
Odie, don't touch the remote, okay?
Now that the lasagna is ready,
we can go to work
on our lovely Caesar salad!
[Garfield] Ooh! Yummy. Mmm!
[Garfield laughs]
That savage beast just ate my main course!
-Garfield!
-[Garfield] Help!
Take this! And this! You ravenous monster!
[Garfield] Guys, he's nastier
than the alien!
There. This should definitely be safe.
[saloon piano playing]
Hmm?
Kiss me!
Ehh! Way too much lip gloss.
Thanks to this turbo-holo-extractor,
I'll pull your cat out of there
in no time!
Now stay still for a minute, cat.
Not an option right now!
[woman] Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!
[extractor buzzing]
-[screams]
-[thud!]
[muttering]
[sighs] Thank heavens, Garfield.
You're back!
Yeah. Seems like I made it in one piece.
[woman] Hey, where do you
think you're going?
You're not going anywhere
till you give me a proper kiss!
[Garfield screams]
Oopsie-doopsie.
It seems that my extractor
has accidentally left the gate open.
Now sing along with me
or I'll lay an egg right here, right now!
[woman] Kiss me! Kiss me!
It's here! It's here!
-[alien screeching]
-[Jon shrieks]
[Odie yipping]
[yipping]
-[alien's feet pounding]
-[woman] Kiss me!
[Garfield shrieking]
No one touches my lasagna till I say so!
[Jon screams]
[characters screaming]
[woman] Kiss me! Kiss me!
[Odie yips]
-[woman] Kiss me!
-[Garfield panting]
Kiss me!
-Oh, paws, don't fail me now.
-Kiss me!
[tie squeaks]
Kiss me!
[Jon stammering]
Oh, my.
[feet pounding]
[shrieks]
[buzzes]
Kiss me.
-Kiss
-Hey! Switch that TV back on!
Whew! Bye!
[static crackles]
Fools!
The world is not ready for my genius!
It's here!
It's here!
Now sing along with me
or I'll lay an egg right here, right now!
Don't you think
that's enough TV for one day?
-[woman] Kiss me!
-[Garfield snickers]