The Jetsons (1962) s01e17 Episode Script

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife This is the home of Spacely Space Sprockets whose industrial leadership, together with Cogswell Cosmic Cogs is founded on the deepest concept of courtesy, kindness and cooperation.
Mr.
Spacely calling, Mr.
Cogswell.
That Ioudmouth SpaceIy? Put him on.
Yes, sir.
Cogswell, you're a no-good crook.
WeII, you aren't any space angeI yourseIf, SpaceIy.
Compared to you, I'm a regular Boy Scout.
If you think you can squeeze me out of business by refusing to seII me cogs you've fIipped.
If I never see another Cogswell cog, it will be too soon.
Quiet, SpaceIy.
Can't you see I'm putting? -You missed.
-Don't make me Iaugh, SpaceIy.
Haven't you Iearned by now that CogsweII never misses? Watch this.
-Don't tell me you're going to count that.
-Stop Iooking over my shouIder, wiII you? It makes me nervous.
Now, quiet, SpaceIy.
I'm driving.
Why, you did that on purpose, CogsweII.
That's the Iast straw! You're teIIing me! You've ruined my five iron! -Yeah, weII, what about my bowIing baII? -What bowIing baII? That bowIing baII.
You know what this means, don't you, CogsweII? Don't teII me you'II put me out of business again? That's right.
And this time I got the gimmick to wipe you out for good.
-The minavac! -Minavac schminavac.
AII I ever got out of your gimmicks was a good Iaugh.
I'II beIieve it when I see it.
AII right, wise guy.
Be at my pIace in haIf an hour, and I'II prove it.
-I'II be there.
-Good.
And you better bring a crying toweI.
It's going to be a sad scene.
-Oh, just a minute, Spacely.
-Yeah, what is it? You forgot something.
Here.
Have a baII! A bowIing baII, that is! Oh, weII.
That's the way the bowIing baII bounces.
Come on, Jetson, CogsweII wiII be here any minute.
Is the minavac ready? Take it easy, boss.
After aII, Rome wasn't buiIt in a day.
Knock off the phiIosophy, wiII you? Just fix the machine.
Yes, sir.
Just think, Jetson.
With this minavac, we'II save a fortune in shipping charges.
We reduce our products before we ship them and enIarge them after they arrive at their destination.
BeautifuI, isn't it? -I think I have it working now, Mr.
SpaceIy.
-You better have, or you've had it.
Hey, boss, Iet's test-run this crate of sprockets through the minavac.
Good idea.
I'II start her up.
Now, Iet's see.
Press button to reduce.
There, she's on.
It works! It works! Goes in big, comes out smaII.
-We've done it! -Mr.
SpaceIy, there's just one thing.
Think of it, Jetson, CogsweII wiped out.
Finished.
-Starving out in the coId street.
-But, Mr.
SpaceIy-- It's Iike a IoveIy, beautifuI fairy taIe come true, eh, George? -But, but-- -Don't interrupt me when I'm happy.
Okay, SpaceIy.
I'm here.
I just hope this minavac is as funny as that soIar-powered nucIear stamp-Iicker you had Iast week.
Go ahead, Iaugh it up, CogsweII.
You haven't got many Iaughs Ieft.
You sure you didn't get this out of a cereaI box, SpaceIy? If you'II just cIam up for a minute I'II show you how I'm going to put you out of business.
Jetson, proceed with Operation CIobber CogsweII.
-But, Mr.
SpaceIy, there's one IittIe thing.
-Quiet, Jetson.
If I want hot air from you, I'II squeeze your head.
It's the reverse-o-matic enIarger.
There's stiII a few bugs in it.
And you better quit bugging me, Jetson.
But, Mr.
SpaceIy, if we don't fix it, we'II be in troubIe.
Now, observe, CogsweII.
Jetson and that crate entered the minavac and in just two seconds, presto! Jetson and the crate are reduced to 6 inches.
WeII, CogsweII -what do you think? -Very funny.
Very funny.
The 6-inch crate might go with the kiddies but who needs a 6-inch-high empIoyee? Just think of the savings in shipping costs, and-- A 6-inch-high empIoyee? Jetson, go through that machine again and get back to your normaI size.
And get back to work! I can't.
I tried to teII you, the reverse-o-matic isn't working.
I can't enIarge.
And I wanted to put CogsweII out of business so bad! Keep trying, SpaceIy.
Keep trying.
Don't Iet a IittIe thing Iike this stop you.
You came through again, paI.
Best Iaugh I've had in weeks.
Your puny efforts to put me out of business are a reguIar riot.
Jetson, are you trying to make me Iook smaII in front of CogsweII? What about me? I feeI pretty smaII myseIf.
If you don't want a smaII saIary to match, you better fix that minavac.
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
Let's see.
Maybe it's the inversion resist-o-rator.
Or it might be the spin-vac dry cycIe.
-I'II just have to fish around.
-I'm waiting, Jetson.
I got it.
I'II have it fixed in a jiffy.
Good work, Jetson.
What was the troubIe? This worn-out CogsweII cog.
AII I gotta do is repIace it.
Fine, fine.
Better rush right out and get a-- CogsweII cog?! Oh, no.
Something wrong, boss? Looks Iike we struck out again, Jetson.
CogsweII has cIapped a trade ban on us.
He won't seII us a cog.
-You mean I'm stuck here at 6 inches? -Don't worry.
I'II think of something.
I'II go home and sIeep on it.
You may have the rest of the day off.
Oh, brother.
I had a feeIing I'd wind up on the short end.
I sure hope this crate knows its way home.
I ain't even big enough to see where I'm going.
Why do I Iet Mr.
SpaceIy get me into these fixes? Oh, a Iawbreaker, eh? WeII, nobody runs through my intersection.
Oh, boy.
I hope that's a fire truck and not a traffic cop.
My Iuck.
It is a traffic cop.
Okay, Buck Rogers, puII over to the nearest cIoud.
Is he kidding? I can hardIy reach the brake.
Boy, what some guys won't do to get on teIevision traffic court.
Okay, Iet's see your driver's Iicense.
I'm sorry, officer.
Did I do something wrong? What's the matter, officer? You Iook sick.
PuII yourseIf together, Aranian.
You've been working too hard.
When I start seeing IittIe guys fIying around it's time to retire to that chicken ranch I have up on that asteroid.
Here comes George, Astro.
I'd better start dinner.
George is aIways famished after a hard day's work.
WeII, at Ieast I got home without being stepped on.
Maybe I ought to sue SpaceIy for character shrinkage.
Hi, Jane, honey.
Now, don't panic before I can expIain.
You see, I was-- -HeIIo, dear.
-That's what I caII a big kiss.
-Anything interesting happen at the office? -Nothing to stand up and scream about.
George! You Iook Iike an insect! Do you have to bug me too? WeII, what happened? WeII, I got caught in Mr.
SpaceIy's new minavac machine.
It shrinks everything to 6 inches.
-Minavac? -Yeah.
And the enIarger is on the fritz.
-It needs a new cog.
-WeII, why don't you get a new one? Because it needs a CogsweII cog, and Mr.
CogsweII won't seII us one.
So I'm caught short untiI SpaceIy can figure out something.
Oh, dear! This is awfuI.
-What wiII our friends say? -What wiII I say to our friends? Astro, boy, it's me.
It's me! HeIIo, shorty.
What do you mean, ''HeIIo, shorty''? Look here, Astro don't get smart with me! I may be onIy 6 inches taII, but I'm stiII master around here.
You get it? -Yeah, I get it.
-I'm the boss.
-You're the boss.
-That's right.
Now, sit! AII right.
Astro, wiII you pIease get off my back? Get up, Astro, and Iet the boss have his dinner.
But, Daddy, what happens if Mr.
SpaceIy can't get a new cog? -Yes, what wiII you do, George? -I don't know.
-Maybe I can get a job threading needIes.
-Gee how can we Iook up to a 6-inch father? I'II wear eIevator shoes.
Boy, am I famished.
-Can I heIp you with some turkey, dear? -No, I'm big enough to feed myseIf.
I'II start with this drumstick.
Watch out, George! You'II faII off the tabIe.
George, are you aII right? Yeah, I'm aII right.
But maybe I shouId start with a smaII cracker.
Okay, Jane, I'II try again.
-WiII you pIease pass the saIt, pIease? -Of course, dear.
I guess my appetite is the onIy big thing about me.
Hey, what the--?! Things Iike this couId drive me to drink.
But I'd probabIy drown trying.
Maybe you shouId just have a gIass of miIk, Dad.
That's a good idea, EIroy.
That ought to be easy enough to do.
Easy, George.
Easy.
Steady, now.
I may as weII face it, I'm just gonna starve.
Poor, George.
He's heIpIess as a baby.
Baby? That's it! -Wait right there, George.
I have an idea.
-You mean--? There.
Isn't that better than going hungry? Yeah.
OnIy I just hope none of the boys drop over, that's aII.
It's a good thing I didn't throw away any of EIroy's baby things.
It's the teIeviewer.
EIroy, wiII you see who it is? -Okay, Mom.
-No, I'II answer it.
Maybe SpaceIy's fixed the minavac.
-Hi, Mr.
SpaceIy.
-Jetson, our problems are almost over.
-You found a cog? -No, but I figured out a way to get one.
-Oh, yeah? How? -Tomorrow morning you're gonna sneak into Cogswell's factory and take one.
Now, wait a minute.
Me? Sneak in? But, Mr.
SpaceIy, how? The pIace is crawIing with armed guards.
It can't be done.
Don't confuse me with facts, Jetson.
Just get me a cog.
Good night.
-Good night! -What's that? I said good night, sir.
-WeII, I ain't gonna do it.
-But you must, dear.
If you remain this size, what wiII peopIe say? I know what they'II say.
They'II say, ''Look at the shrimp! Look at the shrimp!'' Yeah.
Look at the shrimp! Look at the shrimp! -EIroy, go to bed! -Yes, shrimp-- Dad.
Look at the shrimp! Look at the shrimp! -You too! -Yes, sir.
-Anyone eIse? -You better get some sIeep, too, George.
You're gonna be a busy IittIe man tomorrow.
Honey, I guess you're right.
I'II have to get that CogsweII cog or I'II be a short guy on a Iong unempIoyment Iine.
-Good night, George.
-Good night.
Good night.
Astro! Open your mouth! Open your mouth and Iet me out of here! How many times do I have to teII you? No sIeeping in our bedroom! George, are you up yet? Your breakfast is getting coId.
''Am I up yet,'' she says.
At this time in the morning, I don't even know if I'm aIive.
WeII, I'd better hit the deck.
Oh, boy.
Some days it just doesn't pay to faII out of bed.
I've heard of singing in the shower, but I never heard of singing in the sink.
How's your coffee, dear? There must be an easier way.
Hurry, or you'II be Iate for work.
Yeah, that's right.
I got to pIay space spy today.
So Iong, dear.
I'II see you Iater, I hope.
Bye, Dad.
So Iong, Judy, honey.
Have a good day at schooI.
-Be a good boy, EIroy.
-So Iong, Dad.
Goodbye.
Boy, what a Iicking I take from that dog! -Here comes the boss.
-Morning, boys.
-Morning, Mr.
CogsweII.
-Morning, sir.
-There goes a reaI tycoon.
-Yeah, the tycooniest.
Now, how does SpaceIy expect me to get past those two guards? I better check with him.
CaIIing SpaceIy Sprockets.
This is George Jetson, caIIing SpaceIy Sprockets.
Morning, Jetson.
Have you got that cog yet? WeII, no, sir.
Not exactIy, sir.
There's a coupIe of big guards at the gate.
How am I gonna pass them? Just sneak by them.
You're so small, they'll never see you.
Bring back that cog, and you'll go down in Sprocket history.
If you fail, well, there are other small jobs for small characters.
Goodbye and good luck.
Oh, boy.
He doesn't have much troubIe getting his point across.
WeII, here goes.
Did you notice a IittIe guy about 6 inches sneak by? Yeah, but I ain't saying nothing.
Me neither.
I got a retirement physicaI coming up.
WeII, getting past those guards was easy enough.
I wonder where oId fatso CogsweII keeps his cogs? Look at the shrimp! Look at the shrimp! Mr.
Fatso! I mean, Mr.
CogsweII.
I've been expecting you, Jetson.
I know the whoIe bit.
So you can't operate the minavac without this cog, eh? I got oId SpaceIy right where I want him, in the paIm of my hand.
Oh, yeah? I got it! Thanks, Mr.
CogsweII! I'II swat you Iike a bug in a rug, Jetson! After a century of briIIiant scientific progress you'd think someone wouId invent a decent fIy swatter! HoId it, Jetson! HoId it! Come back here with my property! Besides, I want to weIcome you to my cIub.
The goIf cIub, that is! He's got me cornered.
Fore! I knew I shouId have used a 5-iron.
Oh, boy.
I think I finaIIy Iost him.
But I haven't Iost you.
My favorite dish: Jetson under gIass.
AII right, hand over that cog, Jetson! You wouIdn't do that, wouId you? You wouIdn't stick me with a pin.
Come back with that cog, Jetson! Put it on SpaceIy's biII! Goodbye, Mr.
CogsweII! WeII, he got away.
But I'm not Iicked yet.
Now, Iisten, you guys.
No one under -Understand? -Yeah, sure, boss.
Sure.
TweIve inches high? CogsweII must have sIipped a cog.
With this repairman disguise, I'II bIuff my way into SpaceIy's and remove the cog from the minavac.
I toId you I'd soIve everything, Jetson.
-Is the new cog in pIace? -AII set, Mr.
SpaceIy.
I sort of hate to enIarge you.
I was going to give you a saIary to match your size.
WeII, here goes.
You know, I sort of hate to get big again.
I was beginning to feeI Iike ''Jetson in WonderIand.
'' It works! I'm back to my normaI size! Now I can put CogsweII out of business.
I'II caII him up right away and teII him to crawI over and sign the merger papers.
He'II fIip! Gee, I feeI king-size! HeIIo there! Someone here caIIed for a Viennese speciaIist repairman, no? Don't be upset.
I wiII have the machine working in no time.
But the minavac is fixed.
That's what they aII say.
What do you know? You is just a simpIe simpIeton! Now, Iet me see.
The cIavicIe is connected to the hipbone.
The hipbone connected to the CogsweII Cog.
There's something phony going on here.
Jetson, who's that fiddIing with the minavac? -Some repairman, sir.
-A repairman? I toId him there's nothing wrong with the minavac, Mr.
SpaceIy.
Wait a minute.
That's no repairman.
I'd recognize that sneaky CogsweII anywhere.
Out, CogsweII! -What's the big idea? -Sabotage.
What eIse? I want that CogsweII cog back! How wouId you Iike a punch on the nose instead? -Is that a threat? -Put them up, CogsweII! I'm gonna teach you a Iesson.
There they go again.
I might as weII reIax.
They'II keep this up for a coupIe hours or so.
I'm warning you, SpaceIy, I used to be a GoIden GIove boy! WeII, you're going to be a fat-Iipped man now.
-I'm waiting, SpaceIy.
-I'II murder-Iize you, CogsweII! -You and what army, shorty? -Shorty? -Hey, we shrunk! -I'm sorry, Mr.
SpaceIy.
I hit the reducing button by mistake.
-Hit the enIarging button, you muttonhead! -Yes, sir.
I think we bIew a fuse.
What do we do now? Jetson, you are fired! You be quiet, CogsweII! He's my empIoyee.
Jetson, before I fire you how Iong wiII it take to get a fuse? It'II take at Ieast a week to ship one from PIutonia.
A week?! Oh, great.
-What do we do tiII then? -Anyone for cards? I'II enjoy beating you one way or another.
Jetson, caII our wives and teII them we got to soIve a coupIe of smaII probIems -whiIe I cIobber CogsweII at pinochIe.
-Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
AII right, SpaceIy, I'II match you and raise you five.
I'II match you and doubIe it! Okay, SpaceIy, how about a new hand? I'm so gIad my big daddy is back.
It sure is nice having a fuII-sized dad again.
Yeah.
I can Iook up to you again, right, Pop? Yeah, Iook, Iet's forget the whoIe thing.
I never want to hear about it again.
-I'm starved, Janey.
What's for dinner? -Shrimp.
Shrimp?! Not that word again! -Look at the shrimp! Look at the shrimp! -Now, cut that out! Oh, boy.
HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!