The Partridge Family (1970) s01e17 Episode Script

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY THEME PLAYING]
? Come on now
And meet everybody ?
? And hear us singing ?
? There's nothing better
Than being together ?
? When we're singing ?
? The five of us and Mom
Working all day ?
? We knew we could help her
If our music would pay ?
? Danny got Reuben
To sell our song ?
? And it really came together
When Mom sang along ?
? Come on now
And meet everybody ?
? And hear us singing ?
? There's nothing better
Than being together ?
? When we're singing ?
? When we're singing ?
? When we're singing ??
Now, remember,
no racing your carts
up and down the aisles.
We'll meet back
at the checkout counter
in 15 minutes.
If they don't have
what's on the list,
can we substitute?
No substitutions.
Why not?
Because last week,
instead of lamb chops,
you bought
three packages
of chocolate
cream puffs.
So? What's wrong
with that?
We made a 75-cent
savings.
Laurie, would you
keep an eye on them,
please?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Excuse me.
Mabel.
Shirley.
Well, I never expected
to see a big star
like you
in a supermarket.
Why?
I shop here
every week.
Oh, yeah, well,
I guess you want
to make sure
the kids get
a home-cooked meal
once in a while.
I try my best.
Oh, I'm sure you do.
That's what I was trying
to explain to Hortense.
Oh, you remember
Hortense.
She's the girl
with the bad skin
that replaced you
at the bank.
Well, I said to Hortense,
"If anyone
can protect those kids
"from that sordid side
of night club life,
Shirley can."
It's so nice to have friends
who defend you.
Oh, I did, I did,
and when Hortense said to me,
"You name me one child star
that grew up normal,"
well, I came right back at her
with Herby Plankton.
Who?
Herby Plankton.
My nephew.
He used to help
support the folks
by doing those TV commercials.
Well, my sister had
her problems with him,
the dope thing
and all, but
but he straightened up.
He got out
of show business
and he's very happy now
in his new job.
What job is it?
He's a nurse.
Shirley,
don't you think
you're making too much
of this whole thing?
I don't know.
They? are? keeping
irregular hours
and the life they lead
could be considered
unusual.
Oh, Reuben, they're so young.
Maybe it is too much
of a strain on them.
Look, as soon as I think
any of the kids
are turning into freaks,
I'll tell you.
Now, will you sign
these contracts
for the college tour?
Let's discuss it
after the performance tonight.
Shirley--
Look, Reuben,
do you want the kids
to grow up like Herby Plankton?
Well, of course not.
Well, neither do I.
Herby Plankton?
[???]
[PLAYING
"I'M HERE, YOU'RE HERE"]
? I'm here, you're here ?
? I don't care
Where you been before ?
? You're the sweetest thing
I ever saw ?
? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ?
? What could you do?
What could you say ?
? To make me want to go away? ?
? I know, I know
I never wanted anyone more ?
? Baby, you know if I go
It's gonna be a long walk home ?
? And a pretty thing like you
Shouldn't spend her time alone ?
? No, shouldn't
Spend her time alone ?
? And I know
That you'll be sorry ?
? If I'm gone ?
? Hearts beat
We know what we're saying ?
? Don't run away ?
? Eyes meet
Why are we playing ?
? All those games
That children play? ?
? I'm here, you're here ?
? I don't care
Where you been before ?
? I don't care where you been ?
? You're the sweetest
Thing I ever saw ?
? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ?
? What could you do?
What could you say ?
? To make me want to go away? ?
? Go away ?
? I know, I know I never
Wanted anyone more ?
? Hey, hey ?
? Baby, you know if I go
It's gonna be a long walk home ?
? And a pretty thing like you
Shouldn't spend her time alone ?
? No, shouldn't
Spend her time alone ?
? And I know
That you'll be sorry ?
? If I'm gone ?
? Hearts beat
We know what we're saying ?
? Don't run away ?
? Eyes meet
Why are we playing ?
? All those games
That children play? ?
? I'm here, you're here ?
? I don't care
Where you been before ?
? You're the sweetest thing
I ever saw ??
Wow, what a great
audience.
Weren't they too much?
They were really
out of sight.
I bet we could've
stayed out there
taking bows all night.
Danny, there's more to life
than taking bows.
Not when you're
an egomaniac
with grease paint
in your blood.
It's not grease paint
anymore.
It's pancake.
And it's not
in your blood.
As a matter of fact,
most of it's on
the front of your shirt.
So? When you're talented,
who needs to be neat?
Mom, is there something wrong?
No, nothing.
Hurry up.
Let's get going.
I'd like to get home
at a decent hour.
Come on, Chris.
Chris?
I guess he crashed, Mom.
Those encores
must have got to him.
What do you mean?
He works harder than any of us.
He was really whaling away
on those drums
tonight.
You know,
it must be tough
on those puny,
little arms.
We should do something
to build the kid up.
KEITH: Oh,
let him sleep, Mom.
I'll carry him
out to the bus.
You go get changed.
[SIGHS]:
Okay.
Okay, but tomorrow,
we're all going over
to Dr. Michaels' office
for a complete checkup.
What?
From now on,
we're gonna start living
like a normal family again.
Dr. Michaels
gave me a lollipop.
Just for being healthy?
No, for being a kid.
He said for you to go on in.
He's almost done with Chris.
If he gives you
a lollipop,
keep it for me.
Not likely, Tracy.
I'm not a child.
Can't you fake it?
Come on.
Would you give
Dr. Michaels a message?
Shirley?
Shirley, it is you.
What a wonderful surprise.
Jim, what are you
doing here?
Did you switch
to pediatrics?
No, no.
I have an office down the hall.
I was just dropping by
to cancel a lunch date
with Ted Michaels.
Is this Tracy?
She's grown a little,
hasn't she?
Honey, this is Dr. Lucas.
Tracy, you may not
know this,
but I'm just about
your oldest friend.
As a matter of fact,
I knew you even before
you were born.
You sure get around.
Uh, Dr. Lucas delivers babies.
Delivers them where?
To their mothers.
Did you deliver me?
I certainly did.
Thank you very much.
You're entirely welcome.
Hey, congratulations
on your success.
That is a terrific
sound you have.
Thank you.
And you look terrific.
Thank you again. I feel fine.
I wasn't speaking medically.
Doctors are human too,
you know.
Oh, thank you.
What about you, Jim?
I thought you'd be married
and raising a brood of your own
by now.
No, I just deliver.
I leave the care and maintenance
to others.
Smart.
The care and maintenance
is the hard part.
Dr. Lucas,
your office
is on the line.
Mrs. Medford
just arrived
at the hospital.
Tell them
I'm on my way.
Let's not let it
go five years
next time.
May I call you?
I'm in the book.
Okay.
Bye-bye, Tracy.
Excuse me.
Hey, who was that?
He used to be my doctor.
Wow.
Why'd you give him up?
Oh, I recovered.
Well,
whatever he treated you for,
I'd get it again
and right away.
Hey, I thought we'd
rehearse a bit tonight.
Do you know
where Chris and Danny are?
I ordered them outside
to shoot baskets.
You "ordered" them?
Look, why don't
you forget
about rehearsing
tonight?
And do what?
I don't know.
It might be nice
for you and Laurie
to go down to the malt shop
and see some of your friends.
The malt shop?
Well, wherever
young people
hang out these days.
Oh, sure, Mom.
We'll do that.
Hey, how 'bout it,
Laurie?
Won't that be fun?
Maybe Andy Hardy'll
be there
and we could
all go over
to Polly Benedict's
house.
The malt shop
Mom, you're beautiful.
Smarty.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Hello.
Yes.
Just a second.
Mom, it's him.
It's Dr. Groovy.
Now, Mom, don't go
losing your cool.
What makes you
think I am?
'Cause you were
just fixing your hair
and he's
on the telephone.
Hello?
Yes, Jim.
Oh, I'd love to.
When is it?
Oh, I'm so sorry.
We'll be out of town performing
on Friday.
No, the whole weekend,
I'm afraid.
Sure, some other time.
I am too.
Bye.
Gee, that's too bad, Mom.
Did you really
want to go?
Oh, I'll live.
Well, I know
how you feel.
I was invited
to the basketball game
on Friday.
You were?
Does it bother you
that you can't go?
Oh, I'll live.
So, if any one of you feels
that working in the group
or being away from home so much
is more of a strain on you
than you thought it would be
or keeping you
from doing other things
you'd rather do,
then I think
you should speak up.
But why?
Because if it's true,
then I think
we should relax for six months
and use that time
to take a hard look
at what we're doing.
Six months?
Mom, if we don't work
for six months,
we won't even be able
to get a booking
at a Sweet Sixteen party.
Mom, would you mind
if we talked this over
among ourselves
before we gave you
an answer?
Okay. What's there
to talk about?
You know none of us
wants to quit.
No, but Mom does.
What?
Look, when we're
on the road,
she has no social life
of her own.
Now she's met
a man she likes.
If we keep on working,
they're not even
gonna have a chance
for anything to develop.
Well, who is this guy?
He's an attractive,
eligible doctor.
So?
What's so special about that?
Every daughter wants her mother
to marry a doctor.
I don't get it.
If what you say is true,
why doesn't Mom
just say she wants to quit?
Because she's very unselfish.
She won't put her interests
ahead of ours.
The point is,
are we selfish enough
to stand in her way?
I think I am.
How about you, Tracy?
I don't understand
the question.
Keith?
She really likes this guy, huh?
Well, Mom's made
a lot of sacrifices for us.
Maybe we should vote.
Mom, we've come to a decision.
Good.
We've decided we'd like to quit.
Hey, it's a beautiful
afternoon outside.
Can't you kids think of anything
to do with yourselves?
We're doing fine.
Chris, would you like me
to pitch some balls with you?
Maybe later, Mom.
Okay, I'll start dinner.
If you want to play ball,
call me.
I hope she forgets.
Mom's been throwing
so many baseballs at me,
I've lost the feeling
in my right hand.
You're lucky.
Yesterday she sent me over
to play with Bernard McGuire.
What'd you do?
Did you ever spend an afternoon
with Bernard McGuire?
Mostly we sat around
and watched each other grow.
Let's do something.
Why don't we go out
in the garage
and rehearse
some numbers?
Hey, far out.
I don't think we
should do that, Keith.
[GROANS]
Why not?
Because if we
keep going off
to rehearse
in the garage,
Mom's gonna think
we miss performing.
This is ridiculous.
We've been home a week now
and that doctor
you say is so crazy about her
hasn't even phoned.
He probably thinks
we're out of town.
Well, why don't we
set him straight?
Because if Mom finds out,
she'll kill us.
Not if we did it cleverly.
Hi, Laurie.
Look who
I have with me.
Oh, uh, Dr. Lucas.
Uh, I'm Laurie.
Uh, Mother's
not here now.
Oh, well,
that's all right.
I was just
dropping Danny off.
But she should
be back soon.
Let me get you
a cup of coffee.
Uh--
Oh, please, please.
Um, you sit down,
and I'll get it,
and Danny, keep
the doctor talking.
I mean, talk
to the doctor.
So, how do you feel
about Marcus Welby?
Um, where did you guys
dream up the name
"artificial respiration"?
Well, hi.
Hi, yourself.
I didn't think doctors
made house calls anymore.
I bumped into Danny
at the golf course
and gave him a lift home.
Thank you, Jim.
That's very nice of you.
Danny, what were you doing
at the golf course?
Well, uh
Well,
I was just hanging around.
LAURIE: Hey, kids,
I need some help
in, uh, cleaning out
the garage.
We just did that
this morning.
Come on, Chris.
Nice kids.
Mm-hmm
but devious.
Oh?
Jim, I think it
only fair to tell you,
I have a suspicion
you're a victim
of a little
match-making setup.
So, to tell you
the truth,
I was rather surprised
when I found out
they really
wanted to quit.
I'm more mixed up
than ever now.
Why?
Well, they don't seem
to be taking advantage
of their freedom.
I mean
well, I can't really
put my finger on it,
but I keep getting
the feeling
that they
know something
that I don't.
I get that feeling
with everybody under 30.
Oh, this is terrible.
Here I've invited you to dinner,
and spent the whole evening
bending your ear
about my domestic problems.
I've enjoyed it.
What about you, Shirley?
Don't you miss the excitement?
I mean, that concert
in San Francisco,
for instance.
That must've been
really something.
How did you know
we played San Francisco?
All right,
I'll be honest with you.
For the last couple of months,
I've been keeping
pretty close track of you.
I'm flattered.
What is it, Jim?
I want to ask you a question
and I'm trying to decide
whether or not I
have the nerve.
Oh?
Oh, the heck with it.
Um, Shirley
Shirley
will you--
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Excuse me.
Hello?
Oh, yes, he's here.
It's for you.
Mm.
Hello. Dr. Lucas.
Oh, Mrs. Reilly.
Uh-huh.
How far apart
are the pains?
I see.
Well, maybe you'd better
get to the hospital.
No, I'll meet you there.
All right. Don't worry.
Alrighty.
Bye-bye.
[SIGHS]
I'm sorry.
I'm afraid
I have one of those jobs
where you just can't
put things off till tomorrow.
I understand.
Um
can I treat you
to dinner tomorrow?
I'd like that.
Good.
Do I look all right?
Great, for a mother.
You seeing Dr. Lucas
again tonight?
Uh-huh.
Laurie, would you
hook me up, please?
That's five times
you've seen
the good doctor
in the past
couple of weeks.
I didn't realize
anyone was counting.
Where are you
going tonight?
His place for dinner.
Hmm. Sounds promising.
He said he wanted
to talk to me about something.
Sounds even better.
Don't let your imagination
run away with you, Laurie.
Bye, kids.
Good night, Mom.
Mm
'Night, Mom.
Be good.
Bye, honey.
Have a good time.
[SOFT ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Shirley, I think
it's about time
I leveled with you.
Oh?
You remember
we met by, uh,
accident last month?
That was no accident.
I heard
you were in Ted Michaels' office
and I, uh,
deliberately dropped in.
Why?
I heard you on the radio
a couple of months ago
and I
started
thinking about you
which brings me
to the question I started to ask
the other night.
[PLAYING
"I CAN FEEL YOUR HEARTBEAT"]
? Love, love ?
? Can't you feel
Your heartbeat? ?
? Love, love ?
? I can feel your heartbeat ?
? Love, love ?
? Can't you feel my heartbeat? ?
? Love, love ?
? I can feel your heartbeat ?
? Love, love ?
? Can't you feel
My heartbeat? ?
? Love, love ?
? I can feel
Your heartbeat ?
? Love, love ?
? Can't you feel it? ?
? Love, love ?
? Oh, I can feel it ?
? Love, love ?
? Getting stronger ?
? Love, love ?
? Oh, I can feel it ?
? Love, love ?
? Can't you feel it? ?
? Love, love ?
? It's getting stronger ??
Hi, Mom.
When did you get here?
A few minutes ago.
You know, that's the happiest
I've seen you look
in a couple of weeks.
Um, we were just
killing time.
We weren't really
that happy.
You don't have to apologize
for enjoying yourselves.
Hey, how was
your evening, Mom?
Did he pop the question?
Yes, he did.
Well, what was
your answer?
Maybe I should
tell you
what the question was
first.
He wanted to know
if I would look
at some songs
he had written.
You're kidding.
Some songs?
You mean, we gave up
a whole career
for some doctor
who writes songs
as a hobby?
What do you mean,
you gave up a whole career
for that?
Uh
Mom, maybe you'd better
sit down.
We'd like to talk with you
about something.
What?
A gap we've
been having.
Generation?
Communications.
Tell me honestly, Mom.
Weren't you just
a little bit
disappointed
when you found out
it wasn't
a marriage proposal?
As a matter of fact,
I was rather relieved.
I thought you liked him.
I do.
Nothing more, huh?
You know, Laurie,
I think every woman
falls a little bit in love
with her obstetrician.
Only during
the past couple of weeks
did I realize I liked Jim best
when I was pregnant.
I think that would be
putting an awful burden
on our relationship, don't you?
Yeah, I could see
how that could be quite a drag.
Hey, we just played
Dr. Lucas' music.
How is it?
It stinks.
Why does that
make you happy?
Well, the music stinks.
The lyrics are great.
They sound
like poetry.
Yeah, you know,
I'd like to take a crack
at writing
some new music for them.
Think he'd mind?
I'm sure he wouldn't.
Of course, it'd mean
sharing the royalties
with us.
You'd better
explain that to him
very carefully.
Don't worry,
Danny.
Dr. Lucas will be
very familiar
with that arrangement.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I believe they call it
"fee splitting."
Fee splitting.
[LAUGHING]
You don't understand
Fee splitting!
[???]