Welcome to Wrexham (2022) s01e17 Episode Script

1
And now, Rob McElhenney!
[big band music]
[cheers and applause]
Hello!
[cheers and applause]
Please welcome my wife,
the incomparable Kaitlin Olson.
[cheers and applause]
[upbeat music]
Remember that clip
that you showed earlier
before the commercial,
where we were all in England,
celebrating
what we thought was
- Yeah, a goal.
- You know, a goal.
Um, can we play that,
just the last part again?
ANNOUNCER: Somebody needs to
explain the offside rule
KAITLIN: Yeah.
ANNOUNCER: To the A-listers.
KAITLIN: Oh.
ROB: Yeah? Oh, yeah.
[laughter, applause]
Oh, wow. The
There I am.
I turn around to, you know,
congratulate my husband,
and you just go ahead and jump
right into the arms
of Ryan Reynolds,
just aggressively.
- Okay.
- You made a dec
you saw me,
and you turned,
and you jumped
right into his arms.
In fairness
KAITLIN: Yeah?
Who wouldn't want to jump
into the arms of Ryan Reynolds?
BUDDY HOLLY [singing]:
Every day
It's a-getting closer
Going faster
than a roller coaster
Love like yours
will surely come my way
A-hey, a-hey-hey
Every day,
it's a-getting faster
Everyone said,
"Go ahead and ask her"
Love like yours
will surely come my way
A-hey, a-hey-hey
Love like yours
will surely come my way
No.
I did hear.
Kind of don't even know
who he is.
I'm supposed to know who he is,
but apparently,
he's someone in a movie.
I don't know if you
should say that in the mic.
[laughs] It's true.
I don't know
who he is, either.
- Who is he?
- But I'm sure he'll do well.
- Do you know who he is?
- We wish him well,
whoever he is.
[exciting music]
ROB: So when this whole thing
started, I said to Kaitlin,
what do you think about me
seeing if Ryan
would want to do this
with me, like, 50-50?
And she said, "Do you think
your ego could handle
sharing a screen
with Ryan Reynolds?"
ROB: That
that doesn't surprise me.
He's not that well-known.
Well, he's got Rob backing
him now, and Humphrey.
So the guy'll go somewhere.
- [laughs]
You set up
I gotta get in here.
Haha. All right.
All right, see you soon.
I will, uh
I will see you soon. Bye.
HOST: So let's start
from the very beginning.
Um, Ryan, I hear your
friendship actually started
when Rob slid into your DMs.
Do you want to spill the tea
on that one a little bit?
RYAN: No!
No, I slid into his DMs.
HOST:
Oh, you slid into his DMs?
Oh, my God, yeah.
I mean
ROB: How quickly
- Are you kidding me?
How quickly the story changes.
RYAN: I know.
ROB: Okay, so Ryan, this is
what's called a soundstage.
RYAN: Really?
ROB: Yeah.
RYAN:
And they don't use ceilings?
ROB: They make movies,
they make TV.
Well, there is a ceiling.
I'd seen an episode
of his show
that I found to be particularly
inspiring and beautiful.
I slid into his DMs,
and I wrote,
"Powder my bottom
and put me to bed."
ROB: This is not actually a bar.
RYAN: Look at this.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
ROB: Yeah.
RYAN: He DM'd me back,
and then we kind of became,
you know, digital friends
HOST: Yeah.
Which later turned into
real-life human friends.
ROB: Platonic relationships
between men
is a complicated subject.
And Ryan and I had questions.
RYAN: So we went to the only
logical place for answers
a woman.
Hi, my name is Liz Plank.
And I am the author of
For the Love of Men:
A Vision for
Mindful Masculinity.
I'm a journalist.
I'm a filmmaker,
a columnist, podcast.
I noticed, in the first episode
of the show,
Rob said that he went to Ryan
for "movie money."
Also felt like an excuse
to actually
probably be friends with Ryan
and spend time with Ryan.
- You're, like, dating?
- I don't know.
I'm definitely gonna swoon.
So you gottayou gotta
stay wide for that shot.
'Cause if you see my eyes,
I'm gonna be, like, floating.
[laughs]
He's probably gonna pick me up
like a child.
[laughs] And cradle me.
There's also the weird
phenomenon, that is true,
that if you seeif you
watch somebody long enough
over an extended period
of time,
you start to feel like
you know them anyway.
So even before we connected,
you know,
you get a sense that
you kind of know that person,
even though you don't.
We became pretty close,
pretty fast.
- The Rookie.
- Okay.
- Dennis Quaid.
- Whoa, look
Like, a 40-year-old pitcher
in the major
Can we just address the
can we address the mustache
in the room?
[dreamy music]
I've heard a lot of people
refer to our relationship
as a bromance.
I find that fascinating.
The definition of the word
bromance is just
it's a platonic relationship
between two men.
There's no female equivalent
to the term bromance.
The female equivalent
is friends.
And so the fact that we need
a term to describe two men
going out to dinner, I think,
is very revealing
about what men are allowed
or are not allowed to do,
and how much
self-policing there is
when it comes to their
relationships with other men.
ROB: It's so funny,
and so indicative
of where we are
as a culture now,
that we have to use cute terms
to define
an intimate relationship
between two men.
I don't know why.
I think maybe it's because
it's easier for us
to talk about it
by making it sound
a little bit more juvenile,
or just cute and funny.
So bromance is almost
this permission
for men to connect,
and to show love to each other.
Because it's like
it's like a joke.
I've been waiting for
the right, peaceful moment
to ask you,
do you harbor any anger
and/or resentment towards me
for asking you to do this?
[laughs]
My wife wants
to kill you, Rob.
Yeah.
[cheering]
LIZ: Men prove their manhood
by ascribing
to the definition of masculinity
that they've been told
they need to aspire to,
which is, you know, domination, aggression,
winning at all costs.
- This is what men do!
- Yeah!
- This is men stuff!
- Yeah!
ROB: Traditionally,
men have liked to get together
with groups of other men
and do stuff,
whether that be
go to football matches,
play football, play golf,
drink, uh,
hang out, talk,
shoot the shit,
rove in gangs,
beat the living shit
out of each other,
compete with one another.
Look at my heel.
- Right?
- You have a heel, too!
- Yeah, II wear
And I wore
- This is great.
Three-inch lifts just
to really hammer home
George said to establish
dominance right away.
I know,
but it's not happening.
- No, I know, not at all.
- Yes!
And I'm very thin
compared to these guns.
- Yeah, look at this. Yeah.
- Good Lord.
I read somewhere
that lifting weights
increases height.
- True.
Give me some more gum
for Dennis.
- No, I don't trust you.
- Why not?
'Cause you're just gonna
put it in your mouth
and eat it again.
- I won't. I promise.
Hmm, his neck is high.
It makes me trust him.
Good posture, bro. Okay.
- Come on.
- All right, I trust you.
- How are you?
- What's your name?
- Good, how are you?
- James.
LIZ:
I just find it really funny
just watching men,
like, greet each other.
I feel like I have
secondhand stress
about seeing two men sometimes
greet each other.
Because sometimes it's like
a straight-up handshake.
Sometimes,
it's the handshake, but like,
kind of the clap,
and then they, like,
still kind of touch.
Sometimes,
it's the handshake
followed by the hug,
tap, tap.
And then it keeps going
while they're talking,
but sometimes they pull out.
There's
there's the fist bump,
obviously, as well.
I feel confused,
and I feel stressed
seeing men
trying to greet each other.
CAMERAPERSON: It's very weird.
Like, I'm a hugger.
But like, some guys will throw
in the
they need the hand
LIZ: Oh, with the hug?
CAMERAPERSON: The hand with the
hug because you can't just
You can't touch hearts.
CAMERAPERSON: For the hug.
Okay, yes. Okay.
CAMERAPERSON:
That's too intimate.
Too intimate.
You gotta keep something
in between the bodies.
And then one day,
you'll graduate
to just your hearts touching.
Sports becomes this safe space
for men to love each other,
and to relate to each other,
not just, you know, emotionally,
but also physically.
Like, I just find it fascinating
watching, you know,
men on a football field
touching each other,
and being very affectionate,
being very physically close
with each other
even, like,
slapping each other's butts.
When can men slap
each other's butts
except when they're on
a football field?
[cheering]
Do men get close
with each other
because they love sports?
Or do men do sports because
they want to be close
to each other?
I've watched you become
a massive sports fan,
which I don't think
you were before.
I wasn't.
I mean, I've always
I always played sports.
I loved playing sports.
But the idea or the thought
of this
never, never was on
my vision board.
Part of the fun
isn't just getting
to hang out with each other,
or having a football team together.
It's also talking about things
that can be, uh, uncomfortable.
We filmed our colonoscopies
together, for God's sake.
It's the first time
you've had a colonoscopy.
- Yeah.
- And
We're fucking filming it.
You're filming it
Which is, like,
also just awful.
Can't believe you pumped all
that Aviation Gin into my IV.
I was out like a light.
They didn't find Rosebud
up there?
ROB: I figure I can't go wrong
in terms of
comparing myself to Ryan.
They either find nothing,
and that means my colon
was cleaner than his.
Or they find a polyp.
All set.
And it's either
bigger than his,
which is awesome,
or it's smaller than his,
which means I had less of
an opportunity to have cancer.
Either way, I win.
You can just relax.
[laughs]
How was it before?
NURSE: It was good.
The last one was 113 over 48.
Is it better than Ryan's?
NURSE: Yeah.
We're back here with
Ryan Reynolds and the other guy.
[laughter]
I think we both have enormous
respect for each other,
which is what I think
is the backbone
to any healthy relationship.
Any endeavor
at this point in my life
is an opportunity to continue
to forge new relationships.
So it was really special,
and has been really special
to me,
my relationship with him.
In many ways, sports becomes
this performance for men
to really be that ideal
of masculinity
that they're told to aspire to.
And, you know,
maybe Rob and Ryan
I mean, they're performers.
And so, they're still out there,
maybe some way,
performing maybe not
for their dads,
but for each other.
That's why Rob is
a fuck-face clown.
He's just
ROB: Aw, man.
Oh, Jesus. Rob
oh, hi, Mr. Chairman.
ROB: How are you?
How are you?
You look nice.
ROB: I'm sorry about
interrupting you.
I'm covered in microphones
- It's good to seehi.
- So I can't stand up.
- Well, hello.
- Hi.
You guys are in the middle
of your thing?
God, you're handsome. Um
All right.
- Yeah, did you get that?
CAMERAPERSON: Last question.
- Come here.
ROB: Are we concerned about Ryan
being overexposed?
I think that's a fair
- I'm plenty overexposed.
- I think that's fair.
- Come on.
Where?
You want to go in here?
There you go.
Yeah, that's good.
Now, I feel like
we're really close.
[sprinklers swishing]
I can make a cup of tea.
I make the best
cup of tea here.
Why do you think
they got me on here?
Chal doesn't have sugar.
You got to have sugar, though.
Tea's not the same
without sugar.
Hey, you deserve
a cuppa, Chal.
See?
There is something that
I see you've got
some Yorkshire bags in.
Where's the milk?
HARRY: What?
- Where's the milk?
HARRY: It's in there.
You said you don't like
too much milk.
Eh?
Oh, no, you like a little
more milk, don't you?
CHAL: Yeah.
Well, go and have more then, Chal.
if you're gonna be ungrateful.
I'll put these away.
This is the life skills you
need to learn, innit, Harry?
A cup of tea's one of the
most important things.
HARRY: It is, Chal.
More milky next time.
I got you.
It's the worst cup of tea
I've had all day, Harry.
Don't put me down
like that, Chal
[light music]
[indistinct chatter]
Well, my earliest memory
of being a fan is
since I could talk,
since I could kick a ball,
since I've come out the womb,
I just love Wrexham.
My room is full of
Wrexham stuff, to be honest.
Being a football fan or
Wrexham fan, it's just
it's just run
through your family,
and my dad, obviously,
and my granddad on my side.
And they've just always
been a Wrexham fan,
and it's just run to me, now.
So hopefully, when I have kids,
they'll be Wrexham fans.
'Cause I don't think
it'll ever,
ever stop, my racecourse.
I think that boys grow up thinking,
"This is how I need to,
you know,
get my dad's approval."
Because their dads, that's how
they got their dad's approval.
And it's kind of
just passed down.
Not necessarily questioned.
RYAN: I played football
for nine years.
I played rugby,
I played baseball,
and I played soccer,
as we call it.
And that was my kind of version
of validation at that age,
andyou know?
Yeah, he really, like,
valued that, you know?
One of the really interesting
things that happened
in the pandemic
is that there was
this incredible
social experiment
where sports basically,
like, went away.
So one of the things I just
started asking men around me
you know, I would say, what do
you miss the most about sports?
And the first guy I asked
had a tear go down
like, just literally
go down his face.
And he said,
"Talking about it with my dad."
And I used to go with my dad
and my brother to games.
And in general,
it was a family thing.
Growing up with
me and my dad,
he took me from an early age.
And it's something
that's in the blood.
So what they miss the most
about sports wasn't
didn't actually have anything
to do with sports.
It was about the relationships
that they were able to have
when they were watching
sports together.
I was a real youngster.
Me dad used to take me
over to Liverpool years ago
to watch the games.
And actually,
once I moved to Wrexham,
I just started attending
Wrexham games straight away.
Yeah, I just started watching
Wrexham and loved it.
Just fell in love with it.
From when I could
first kick a ball,
my dad always had the belief
that I was good.
He could see that I was good.
And I can only appreciate
that because
what I used to get
from him watching
and his feedback would drive me
on even more.
For a lot of boys who grew up
being told that sports was
where they could really
prove themselves
and have a relationship
with their father,
or have a relationship
with other boys,
they can grow up into
adulthood repeating that,
where sports becomes the way
to earn that connection
with other men.
And maybe with our culture,
or with society at large, too.
Time to see if I still got it.
Aye.
It's so nice that he still
wants to take his dad
out for a pint, you know,
and take him to the match,
and look after me, and
you know, with his mates.
I'm part of a
the crowd, if you want.
And that's what makes me
so happy, you know?
I can't ask for
anything more than that.
Boys day out.
Three generations here.
Same as when
we go to the match,
and we've got three
generations here.
You just pass it down,
don't you?
Like, you got it from Granddad.
I got it from you.
It's just
and I give it to these boys.
It's in our DNA now innit, eh?
In our Winter DNA, lad?
Muah.
It certainly is.
- That's right, it bloody is.
- Yeah?
I'm not ready for it
though, Chal.
I told you,
bit immature inside.
I can't even cook an egg.
So this is when
you're on a date,
when you have the first
sleepover, can make
you can make her an egg
in the morning.
Yeah, why don't you
chuck that one in?
[laughter]
You fucking idiot.
Let'swe have
a really star candidate.
What, so don't do it
too hard this time, yeah?
Take your time
cracking the egg.
[laughter]
- Man City.
- Yeah.
ROB:
When I was in grade school,
my dad and I would just
come home
and we'd play basketball.
And I would try to win.
And I wouldn't let him
let me win.
In some ways,
what is the point
if there's no competition?
Because that's what's
sort of driving us
all forward instinctually.
Goal!
And then it's only
in reflection
where you realize, like,
oh, right,
Iwho the fuck cares?
I do not understand offsides.
Like, offsides is, like, here.
But then it's also there.
But when you get a penalty
ANNOUNCER: It's come down
to the final 20 minutes here.
- Yes?
- It's not a goal?
Yes, it doesn't
make any sense.
I don't remember
any specific game.
I just remember
I just remember
playing with my dad,
you know?
[Cat Stevens' "Father & Son"]
CAT STEVENS [singing:
It's not time to make a change
Just relax, take it easy
You're still young
That's your fault
There's so much you have to know
Find a girl, settle down
If you want, you can marry
Look at me
I am old, but I'm happy
I was once like you are now
And I know that it's not easy
To be calm
When you've found
something going on
But take your time,
think a lot
Why, think of everything
you've got
For you will still
be here tomorrow
But your dreams may not
If he's calling me his son
and, you know,
taking me by his wing
like he is,
and showing me
like he is, yeah,
I'd say he does feel like
he does feel like
a father figure, in a way.
Genius.
- You're a master?
Mm.
You've got to have
plenty of role models
in your life to become
who you are, haven't you?
And
Yeah.
CAT STEVENS [singing]:
I know I have to go
[child giggles, seagull cries]