Animaniacs (1993) s01e174 Episode Script
Rest in Pieces
[.]
ALL: It's time for Animaniacs And we're zany to the max So just sit back and relax You'll laugh Till you collapse We're Animaniacs BOTH: Come join The Warner brothers And the Warner sister, Dot ALL: Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught But we break loose And then vamoose And now you know the plot We're Animaniacs Dot is cute and Yakko yaks Wakko packs away the snacks While Bill Clinton Plays the sax We're Animaniacs Meet Pinky and the Brain Who want to rule The universe Goodfeathers flock together Slappy whacks 'em With her purse Buttons chases Mindy While Rita sings a verse The writers flipped We have no script Why bother to rehearse? We're Animaniacs We have pay-or-play Contracts We're zany to the max There's bologna In our slacks We're Animan-y Totally insane-y Pinky and the Brain-y Animaniacs Those are the facts [.]
Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight? The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world.
They're Pinky and the Brain They're Pinky and the Brain One is a genius The other's insane To prove their mousy worth They'll overthrow the Earth They're dinky They're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain [.]
Only I, the all-powerful Merlin, have the wizardry skills to create matter from nothing.
I am fat with magic.
[LAUGHS.]
Sonny Tufts, Sonny Bono Lorna Luft, Yoko Ono Paula Abdul, Chip and Dale Hillary Clinton, Quinton McHale [LUTE BEGINS PLAYING.]
I wish I were a windowsill So I could be Uh Um An imbecile? Odds bodkins! Good rhyme, Brain.
[GIGGLES.]
Narf! Now, be quiet, Pinky.
Merlin is about to unlock the secrets of the universe.
I win, you win Edwin Newman Lee of Kathie Regis Philbin.
Lo.
I've created a nice pie.
Ooh, blueberry.
Zort! That was great, huh, Brain? A pathetic waste of magic.
I would never squander such mystical powers on mere pastry.
Poit, but what if you were eating dinner and forgot dessert? Maybe then.
Of course King Arthur will want some of my pie.
So will his knights.
Bunch of pigs.
I'll eat my pie in the dungeon.
And it will be yummy and good and all mine.
Egad, Brain, you astound me.
I'm afraid I always will, Pinky.
Merlin's spell book contains the power of the universe.
Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky? Sure, Brain, but how are we gonna find chaps our size? Pay attention, Pinky.
Right-o.
With the help of the spell book, we will use Merlin's magic to take control of the world.
Egad, Brain, brilliant.
Oh, wait, um, no.
Where will you find a magic spell for that? In the table of contents, Pinky.
Oh, well, very good.
Let's see, "Tabby cat turned into duck.
Tadpoles, magic uses of.
Tahoe, how to win at blackjack.
" Nah.
Ah, here we have it.
"Take Over The World Spell.
" Page 614.
With this spell, Pinky, the entire planet will be forced to acknowledge me as their ruler.
Egad, Brain.
That's brilliant.
And I, minstrel-mouse Pinky, shall chronicle your deeds in song.
He conquered the world Without effort or pain He's the boss They call him Uh, call him Brain? Oh, right-o.
Brain Good one.
Stop singing, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.
Now, come.
We must assemble the spell's ingredients.
Ready when you are, Brain.
All right, Pinky.
We will need: Six lizard legs.
Check.
Three eyes of newt.
Check.
Two hedgehog spleens.
Check.
One half-eaten gingerbread cookie that's been left on the counter overnight.
Check.
Only one ingredient remains, Pinky.
A red dragon's toenail clipping.
Red dragon's toenail clippings, che-- Oh! [SCREAMS.]
[GLASS BREAKS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Pinky, what happened? Uh, gee, Brain, about those toenail clippings? Um, I'm afraid we're fresh out.
Drat.
Pay attention, Pinky.
To obtain red dragon toenail clippings we must cross the Enchanted Forest filled with witches, goblins and ogres.
Then we must climb the Murky Mountain and enter the lair of the horrible red dragon and steal some of his toenail clippings.
But how are we gonna get past all the dangers, Brain? Narf! Fear not, Pinky.
Merlin's magic wand will protect us.
Behold.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size Of a lima bean Egad, Brain, that was amazing! It's just a small thing I do.
[CHUCKLES.]
Now, forward, Pinky, to the Murky Mountain and world conquest.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE.]
We're in the woods All dark and inky To conquer the world Go Brain and La, la, something Pinky.
Oh, that fits.
Ha, narf! [GRUNTING.]
The signpost will guide us, Pinky.
BRAIN: Let's see.
"Glade of Woe.
" No.
"Chasm of Despair.
" No.
"Pit of Barbecue.
" Hm, perhaps later.
Ah, Murky Mountain.
This way.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE.]
We strolled right past A candy house Made of sweets That taste good to a Ooh Mouse! Now, stop singing and keep an eye out for-- Danger.
I'm expecting pudgy German children.
Now, get the heck out of here.
Pinky, the wand.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size Of a lima bean.
[SCREAMING IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
Odds bodkins, Brain.
You're a regular wizard, poit.
Thank you, Pinky.
BRAIN: One has to stay cool in pressure situations.
Um, got a spot of fire on your head, Brain.
What else can happen? Oh, look, Gretel.
Mices.
[BOTH YELLING.]
Ach, ja, Hansel.
We are playing with little, filthy mices.
BOTH: Ugh! Filthy mices! [BRAIN SCREAMS.]
Beat it, ya mouse.
You're ruining my cameo.
PESTO: Your cameo? Hey, what about our cameo, huh? Ah, quit your whining over there.
PESTO: Hey, who you tellin' to quit whinin'? BOBBY: She's talkin' to you.
PESTO: I ain't whinin'.
Yeah, ya are.
Now, quit it.
I'm not whinin', you're whinin'.
Are we gettin' paid? Come, Pinky.
Let us return to the story.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE AND SINGING.]
To find the dragon All hot with steam We must cross This little Brook? No.
Um, fjord? Stream.
It rhymes with "steam.
" Oh, right again, Brain.
[SIGHS.]
[BLEATS.]
[BLEATS.]
Something under the bridge grabbed that billy goat.
Trolls live under bridges.
They eat billy goats.
Do you follow me, Pinky? No, Brain.
The wand, Pinky.
Zort! We'll outwit the troll by using stealth.
[THUMP.]
TROLL: Ouch! Sorry, there.
[GROWLS.]
I sense the worst is behind us.
Mm [SLURPS.]
appetizers.
The wand, Pinky.
[SLURPS.]
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size Of a lima bean No good will come of this.
Jerkface.
[BLEATS.]
Are you okay, Brain? All my thoughts are in Dutch.
[SIGHS.]
The Murky Mountain's The end of the trail Soon we'll have A dragon's Uh, dra-- Toenail.
A red dragon's toenail.
And once we possess it, Pinky, nothing will stand between us and total world domination.
Everyone loves someone Someday Timber! What do you make of that, Brain? The wand, Pinky.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size-- Duh, hey, youse guys, come back with my harp! Hey, Brain, you don't look so good.
BRAIN: Something unpleasant has happened to me.
[.]
I'm not well.
BRAIN: We're here, Pinky.
The end of our quest.
The cave of the red dragon.
PINKY: Great, Brain.
Now what? Narf! BRAIN: We sneak inside, clip the dragon's toenail, then creep away back to the castle where we will have all the ingredients to complete the spell.
By tonight I will be ruler of this world.
PINKY: Genius, Brain! But what if the dragon eats us? That would alter our plans.
But I believe the dragon is sleeping right now.
Or else wide-awake with a bad migraine.
In any case, our destiny lies inside.
Come, Pinky.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE AND SINGING.]
We walked into The dragon's cave I was scared But Brain was Was Um Brave! [ECHOES.]
Brave, brave [RUMBLING.]
Huh? [GROANS.]
I think we found the red dragon, Brain.
Poit.
How keen of you to note that.
Now to get the toenail and escape.
We must be absolutely quiet.
Do you understand, Pinky? [LOUDLY.]
Right-o, Brain! You can count on me.
Narf! [WHISPERS.]
Uh, I meant, narf.
[GRUMBLES.]
[SNORTS, GRUNTS.]
Pinky, the dragon is stirring.
Try and lull him back to sleep.
Sure thing, Brain.
Go, my dragon To sleepy land It's dreamy time Here comes the sand Uh Sandboy? Sandman, Pinky! Sandman! [ECHOES.]
Man, man, man [RUMBLING.]
Huh? [SCREAMS.]
[GROWLS.]
Ooh! [SNARLS.]
The wand, Pinky.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size of-- [GULPS.]
What now, Brain? We should flee in terror.
Yes, that would be the wisest course.
[.]
[ROARS.]
[WHOOSHING.]
[GROWLS.]
[GASPS.]
[ROARS.]
[WOMAN SCREAMS.]
Peeping dragon! Ooh! Quickly, Pinky, we haven't much time.
This is it, Brain.
The last ingredient.
Zort! Splendid, Pinky.
Drop it into the cauldron.
In a few moments, Pinky, I will be master of this world.
[ROARS.]
Listen carefully, Pinky.
I must recite this spell exactly, word for word.
Once I begin, I cannot stop.
So be extra quiet.
[WHISPERS.]
Sure thing, Brain.
BRAIN: The Take Over The World Spell, Pinky.
Here goes.
Mystical powers Gennifer Flowers [PINKY PLAYING LUTE.]
[GASPS.]
Brain's the boss He'll rule with ease Magical forces Your might unfurl Grant that I become the-- PINKY: He's number one The big Uhthe big banana? Uh, coconut? Um Uh Big cheese! It rhymes with "ease.
" Big cheese! [SCREAMS.]
[HOWLS, WHIMPERS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[YELPING.]
Uh, Brain, are you okay? I feel odd.
Almostdairy-like.
Can I get you anything, Brain? Some medicine? A cracker? [LAUGHS.]
A cracker! If I weren't a large cheese, I would make you pay for that remark.
[TUNING, STRUMMING.]
We'll try again To prove our worth Escape from the cage And conquer the Ooh Earth, Pinky.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about you and your music.
Might I see that? Sure, Brain.
That was very therapeutic.
YAKKO, WAKKO AND DOT: One's a genius The other's insane They're Pinky and the Uh Brain [.]
Zort!
ALL: It's time for Animaniacs And we're zany to the max So just sit back and relax You'll laugh Till you collapse We're Animaniacs BOTH: Come join The Warner brothers And the Warner sister, Dot ALL: Just for fun we run around The Warner movie lot They lock us in the tower Whenever we get caught But we break loose And then vamoose And now you know the plot We're Animaniacs Dot is cute and Yakko yaks Wakko packs away the snacks While Bill Clinton Plays the sax We're Animaniacs Meet Pinky and the Brain Who want to rule The universe Goodfeathers flock together Slappy whacks 'em With her purse Buttons chases Mindy While Rita sings a verse The writers flipped We have no script Why bother to rehearse? We're Animaniacs We have pay-or-play Contracts We're zany to the max There's bologna In our slacks We're Animan-y Totally insane-y Pinky and the Brain-y Animaniacs Those are the facts [.]
Gee, Brain, what do you wanna do tonight? The same thing we do every night, Pinky.
Try to take over the world.
They're Pinky and the Brain They're Pinky and the Brain One is a genius The other's insane To prove their mousy worth They'll overthrow the Earth They're dinky They're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain [.]
Only I, the all-powerful Merlin, have the wizardry skills to create matter from nothing.
I am fat with magic.
[LAUGHS.]
Sonny Tufts, Sonny Bono Lorna Luft, Yoko Ono Paula Abdul, Chip and Dale Hillary Clinton, Quinton McHale [LUTE BEGINS PLAYING.]
I wish I were a windowsill So I could be Uh Um An imbecile? Odds bodkins! Good rhyme, Brain.
[GIGGLES.]
Narf! Now, be quiet, Pinky.
Merlin is about to unlock the secrets of the universe.
I win, you win Edwin Newman Lee of Kathie Regis Philbin.
Lo.
I've created a nice pie.
Ooh, blueberry.
Zort! That was great, huh, Brain? A pathetic waste of magic.
I would never squander such mystical powers on mere pastry.
Poit, but what if you were eating dinner and forgot dessert? Maybe then.
Of course King Arthur will want some of my pie.
So will his knights.
Bunch of pigs.
I'll eat my pie in the dungeon.
And it will be yummy and good and all mine.
Egad, Brain, you astound me.
I'm afraid I always will, Pinky.
Merlin's spell book contains the power of the universe.
Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky? Sure, Brain, but how are we gonna find chaps our size? Pay attention, Pinky.
Right-o.
With the help of the spell book, we will use Merlin's magic to take control of the world.
Egad, Brain, brilliant.
Oh, wait, um, no.
Where will you find a magic spell for that? In the table of contents, Pinky.
Oh, well, very good.
Let's see, "Tabby cat turned into duck.
Tadpoles, magic uses of.
Tahoe, how to win at blackjack.
" Nah.
Ah, here we have it.
"Take Over The World Spell.
" Page 614.
With this spell, Pinky, the entire planet will be forced to acknowledge me as their ruler.
Egad, Brain.
That's brilliant.
And I, minstrel-mouse Pinky, shall chronicle your deeds in song.
He conquered the world Without effort or pain He's the boss They call him Uh, call him Brain? Oh, right-o.
Brain Good one.
Stop singing, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you.
Now, come.
We must assemble the spell's ingredients.
Ready when you are, Brain.
All right, Pinky.
We will need: Six lizard legs.
Check.
Three eyes of newt.
Check.
Two hedgehog spleens.
Check.
One half-eaten gingerbread cookie that's been left on the counter overnight.
Check.
Only one ingredient remains, Pinky.
A red dragon's toenail clipping.
Red dragon's toenail clippings, che-- Oh! [SCREAMS.]
[GLASS BREAKS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Pinky, what happened? Uh, gee, Brain, about those toenail clippings? Um, I'm afraid we're fresh out.
Drat.
Pay attention, Pinky.
To obtain red dragon toenail clippings we must cross the Enchanted Forest filled with witches, goblins and ogres.
Then we must climb the Murky Mountain and enter the lair of the horrible red dragon and steal some of his toenail clippings.
But how are we gonna get past all the dangers, Brain? Narf! Fear not, Pinky.
Merlin's magic wand will protect us.
Behold.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size Of a lima bean Egad, Brain, that was amazing! It's just a small thing I do.
[CHUCKLES.]
Now, forward, Pinky, to the Murky Mountain and world conquest.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE.]
We're in the woods All dark and inky To conquer the world Go Brain and La, la, something Pinky.
Oh, that fits.
Ha, narf! [GRUNTING.]
The signpost will guide us, Pinky.
BRAIN: Let's see.
"Glade of Woe.
" No.
"Chasm of Despair.
" No.
"Pit of Barbecue.
" Hm, perhaps later.
Ah, Murky Mountain.
This way.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE.]
We strolled right past A candy house Made of sweets That taste good to a Ooh Mouse! Now, stop singing and keep an eye out for-- Danger.
I'm expecting pudgy German children.
Now, get the heck out of here.
Pinky, the wand.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size Of a lima bean.
[SCREAMING IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
Odds bodkins, Brain.
You're a regular wizard, poit.
Thank you, Pinky.
BRAIN: One has to stay cool in pressure situations.
Um, got a spot of fire on your head, Brain.
What else can happen? Oh, look, Gretel.
Mices.
[BOTH YELLING.]
Ach, ja, Hansel.
We are playing with little, filthy mices.
BOTH: Ugh! Filthy mices! [BRAIN SCREAMS.]
Beat it, ya mouse.
You're ruining my cameo.
PESTO: Your cameo? Hey, what about our cameo, huh? Ah, quit your whining over there.
PESTO: Hey, who you tellin' to quit whinin'? BOBBY: She's talkin' to you.
PESTO: I ain't whinin'.
Yeah, ya are.
Now, quit it.
I'm not whinin', you're whinin'.
Are we gettin' paid? Come, Pinky.
Let us return to the story.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE AND SINGING.]
To find the dragon All hot with steam We must cross This little Brook? No.
Um, fjord? Stream.
It rhymes with "steam.
" Oh, right again, Brain.
[SIGHS.]
[BLEATS.]
[BLEATS.]
Something under the bridge grabbed that billy goat.
Trolls live under bridges.
They eat billy goats.
Do you follow me, Pinky? No, Brain.
The wand, Pinky.
Zort! We'll outwit the troll by using stealth.
[THUMP.]
TROLL: Ouch! Sorry, there.
[GROWLS.]
I sense the worst is behind us.
Mm [SLURPS.]
appetizers.
The wand, Pinky.
[SLURPS.]
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size Of a lima bean No good will come of this.
Jerkface.
[BLEATS.]
Are you okay, Brain? All my thoughts are in Dutch.
[SIGHS.]
The Murky Mountain's The end of the trail Soon we'll have A dragon's Uh, dra-- Toenail.
A red dragon's toenail.
And once we possess it, Pinky, nothing will stand between us and total world domination.
Everyone loves someone Someday Timber! What do you make of that, Brain? The wand, Pinky.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size-- Duh, hey, youse guys, come back with my harp! Hey, Brain, you don't look so good.
BRAIN: Something unpleasant has happened to me.
[.]
I'm not well.
BRAIN: We're here, Pinky.
The end of our quest.
The cave of the red dragon.
PINKY: Great, Brain.
Now what? Narf! BRAIN: We sneak inside, clip the dragon's toenail, then creep away back to the castle where we will have all the ingredients to complete the spell.
By tonight I will be ruler of this world.
PINKY: Genius, Brain! But what if the dragon eats us? That would alter our plans.
But I believe the dragon is sleeping right now.
Or else wide-awake with a bad migraine.
In any case, our destiny lies inside.
Come, Pinky.
[PINKY PLAYING LUTE AND SINGING.]
We walked into The dragon's cave I was scared But Brain was Was Um Brave! [ECHOES.]
Brave, brave [RUMBLING.]
Huh? [GROANS.]
I think we found the red dragon, Brain.
Poit.
How keen of you to note that.
Now to get the toenail and escape.
We must be absolutely quiet.
Do you understand, Pinky? [LOUDLY.]
Right-o, Brain! You can count on me.
Narf! [WHISPERS.]
Uh, I meant, narf.
[GRUMBLES.]
[SNORTS, GRUNTS.]
Pinky, the dragon is stirring.
Try and lull him back to sleep.
Sure thing, Brain.
Go, my dragon To sleepy land It's dreamy time Here comes the sand Uh Sandboy? Sandman, Pinky! Sandman! [ECHOES.]
Man, man, man [RUMBLING.]
Huh? [SCREAMS.]
[GROWLS.]
Ooh! [SNARLS.]
The wand, Pinky.
Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen Shrink to the size of-- [GULPS.]
What now, Brain? We should flee in terror.
Yes, that would be the wisest course.
[.]
[ROARS.]
[WHOOSHING.]
[GROWLS.]
[GASPS.]
[ROARS.]
[WOMAN SCREAMS.]
Peeping dragon! Ooh! Quickly, Pinky, we haven't much time.
This is it, Brain.
The last ingredient.
Zort! Splendid, Pinky.
Drop it into the cauldron.
In a few moments, Pinky, I will be master of this world.
[ROARS.]
Listen carefully, Pinky.
I must recite this spell exactly, word for word.
Once I begin, I cannot stop.
So be extra quiet.
[WHISPERS.]
Sure thing, Brain.
BRAIN: The Take Over The World Spell, Pinky.
Here goes.
Mystical powers Gennifer Flowers [PINKY PLAYING LUTE.]
[GASPS.]
Brain's the boss He'll rule with ease Magical forces Your might unfurl Grant that I become the-- PINKY: He's number one The big Uhthe big banana? Uh, coconut? Um Uh Big cheese! It rhymes with "ease.
" Big cheese! [SCREAMS.]
[HOWLS, WHIMPERS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[YELPING.]
Uh, Brain, are you okay? I feel odd.
Almostdairy-like.
Can I get you anything, Brain? Some medicine? A cracker? [LAUGHS.]
A cracker! If I weren't a large cheese, I would make you pay for that remark.
[TUNING, STRUMMING.]
We'll try again To prove our worth Escape from the cage And conquer the Ooh Earth, Pinky.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about you and your music.
Might I see that? Sure, Brain.
That was very therapeutic.
YAKKO, WAKKO AND DOT: One's a genius The other's insane They're Pinky and the Uh Brain [.]
Zort!