Arthur (1996) s01e18 Episode Script

1
Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪
Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪
( laughs )
And I say hey! ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen
to your heart ♪
Listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪
Get together and make things
better by working together ♪
It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself ♪
For that's the place
to start ♪
And I say hey! ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other. ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful kind of day ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪
Hey!
ARTHUR:
Hey, D.W.
Hey!
Whoa!
( crash )
MOM:
15 kilograms
of prunes
It's a typical Monday morning
in the Read house.
( Kate crying,
Pal barking, pots clanging )
No card,
just these prunes.
My birthday
was months ago
Sometimes I wish
I lived in a quieter place.
( clang )
The circus is coming ♪
The circus is coming ♪
Like the middle of the desert,
or Mars maybe.
Aah!
Didn't you hear me?
The circus is coming
in only six more days!
All right, that's enough.
But Dad,
the circus is coming!
We heard you,
Honey, several times.
Not that I'm not excited about
the circus-- it's really fun.
( elephant trumpeting )
( CHILDren exclaiming )
Aah!
ARTHUR:
It's just that the circus
isn't until Saturday.
And besides,
I'm feeling a little funny.
( croaks )
( barks )
Wait! Come back!
( grunting )
Hey, thanks.
Ms. Bryan?
Sue Ellen's trees
are the wrong color.
Oh
But these are lovely.
It doesn't matter
what colors you use.
See-- Arthur's
elephants
are blue.
Hmph.
( trumpets )
( gasps )
( trumpeting )
Aah!
Oh, no.
( trumpeting )
Aah!
Watch it.
B b blue elephant.
Huh?
WOMAN:
Now, what's all this
about blue elephants?
( moaning )
( whispering )
Are you sick?
Is it contagious?
Did you
throw up yet?
Shh!
Don't you worry--
with a little
rest and quiet
you'll be
good as new.
( TV theme song plays )
ANNOUNCER:
The Bionic Bunny show.
D.W.:
I'm home!
What's wrong
with you?
I'm sick.
You don't look sick to me.
Well, I feel sick.
Move.
Oh, I see
big test tomorrow
or did Binky threaten
to crush you?
For your information
I had to go
to the nurse.
Uh-huh, sure.
TV ANNOUNCER:
Call now, and you, too, can own
this genuine imitation
leather cowbell.
Pick up that phone on the couch.
( gasps )
( clicks off TV )
Mom!
Mom!
ARTHUR:
We were right
in the middle!
D.W.:
Five more
minutes.
Oh, Mom!
Why do I have to eat
at the table?
Because you're
not sick.
Yech! Spinach?!
How come Arthur
doesn't have
to eat spinach?
Because
he's sick.
Because
he's sick.
He's not-- he's faking.
( growls )
( blows raspberry )
( laughs awkwardly )
( mumbling )
Uh
Hey!
( gasps )
Whoa!
What's this for?
You ride it--
from here to there.
D.W.:
Hurry up!
I'm next.
I don't feel so well.
Go on, faker.
( crowd oohing and ahhing )
ARTHUR:
Yow!
Huh?
Aah!
What's wrong?
Arthur has
polka dots.
What's wrong with me?
DAD:
It's chicken pox.
Do you get it from chickens?
No, it's
just a normal
CHILDhood illness.
I'll see if
Grandma Thora
can come over
while we're
at work.
Does this mean Arthur
can't go to the circus?
Well, we'll have to see.
What?!
MOM:
Sorry, chicken pox
is very contagious.
Looks like you're
not going anyplace
for a while.
Don't worry,
I'll take good
care of you.
( gulps )
Pick up the can!
( loudly ):
Buster, it's terrible!
You have
to save me!
Save you from the chicken pox?
No, from
( window slams )
( gulps )
No talking-- you're sick.
Now, sit back,
young man.
It's time to take
your temperature.
Mom!
D.W.'s trying
to take care of me aga
Now, lie still
while I put on
the "galamine" lotion.
Don't! Don't, D.W.!
GRANDMA THORA:
Having fun?
Grandma Thora!
Arthur won't take
his medicine.
You know,
doctor, this is
a special case.
How about if
I take over for a while?
Now, are you ready
for something
really special?
Oatmeal? In the bathtub?
This feels great.
( slurping )
Cut it out!
Hey, Grandma,
Arthur's splashing me!
And he's scratching, too.
I know it's hard
but rule number one
is no scratching.
You'll get
an infection.
If you're good and don't scratch
I'll bring you a balloon
from the circus.
I have a
wonderful
idea, D.W.
Go to your room
and draw a picture.
I need to guard Arthur
so he doesn't scratch.
I think we
can trust him.
D.W.:
Well, I don't.
Hmm
( whistle blows )
I saw! You scratched!
Grandma, Arthur
scratched! I saw him!
That's nice.
Aren't you going to punish him?
Well, Sweetie, I think this will
make Arthur feel much better.
Grandma, when do I get
to drink with the crazy straw?
You don't--
it's covered with germs.
Your lunch is
over by the sink, D.W.
Hmph.
GRANDMA:
So I warned your father,
"Get the car started
because this little baby
is on its way."
What little baby?
Arthur-- this is about
the night Arthur was born.
Anyway, he never did
get the car started
what with that busted carburetor
so I went in
and called a taxi.
Was I worried
you'd be born
right here
in the kitchen!
Where was I?
You weren't born yet, hon.
Ahh.
Hmm.
What about
when I was born?
I think I was in Florida then.
Can I have a back rub, too?
Maybe later
I'm busy making
Arthur some tea.
( D.W. humming )
( movie music on TV )
( D.W. moaning )
( clicks off TV )
D.W. ( grumbling ):
Oh, I don't feel well.
Good heavens,
you have them, too!
D.W.:
I need a
oatmeal bath.
Of course, dear.
( sickly voice ):
And some juice
with, uh
a crazy straw.
( forcing coughs )
Absolutely.
( D.W. humming and giggling )
Are you all right in there?
( sickly voice ):
I guess so.
Well, I brought
you some nice
( gasps ):
D.W., what happened
to all
your spots?
I got better?
( scolding ):
Dora Winifred, I'm very
disappointed in you.
Daddy, it's not fair!
How come Arthur gets
chicken pox and I don't?
Honey
you're lucky--
chicken pox is no fun.
Yes, it is--
it's more fun
than anything!
More fun than
the circus?
More fun than
elephants and
cotton candy?
Of course.
You decide--
if you don't want
to suffer through the circus
you can
stay home
with Arthur.
( sniffling )
So can you come
to the circus?
Just a minute.
Your spots
are healing
and I don't see
any new ones
No sign
of a fever
Yes! I'd say all systems are go.
Yes!
I decided I'm
going to the circus.
Atta girl!
After all, how
bad could it be?
( both gasp )
I only wanted pox
because I was jealous.
Oh, honey
I know
you want to go
to the circus
( stifling laughter ):
You're being very grown-up
but we have
some bad news
What's so funny?
Spots!
Now, D.W.,
I want you to be
a big girl and
D.W.:
I have my very own
chicken pox!
Spots, spots, spots!
Spots, spots, spots!
Look at me, Pal-- spots!
She must
have a fever.
Grandma, can I have
all that stuff now?
A tray and a bath
and everything?
Strangest case
I've ever seen.
Okay, D.W.,
you want a bath,
you've got it.
Arthur, Arthur, Arthur,
look at me!
I have spots and you don't!
But you're going
to miss the circus!
Who cares?
The circus comes
every year
but you only
get chicken
pox once.
KIDS:
And now
It's bad to be sick.
It doesn't feel good.
You have to have medicine
that you don't like.
You feel sort of wheezy.
All you can do is
lie on the couch.
Watch TV
and go to sleep and rest.
You get to do things
that you usually don't get to.
Sleep late.
Watch movies.
My parents get me
breakfast in bed when I wake up.
You miss out on some things.
You can't have any friends over.
You never go outside.
And you can't go to school.
When I had the chicken pox
was not good.
One time, I was in kindergarten
and I got the chicken pox.
CHILD:
I had the chicken pox.
CHILD 2:
I had chicken pox.
CHILD 3:
I got the chicken pox.
"I have chicken pox."
CHILD 2:
"Chicken pox: each one
a huge, ugly, gross pimple
"gushing blobs of pus
"each one looking
like a volcano erupting
"spreading green streams
of fiery lava down my cheeks.
"Itchy, scratch.
I want to rip them off my face
and stick them to my sisters."
CHILD 4:
You should wear your jacket
when you go outside.
CHILD 5:
Wash your hands.
CHILD 6:
Eat healthy food.
CHILD 6:
Eat an apple a day.
And now
( dog panting )
ARTHUR:
Good boy!
Now, what's a worm do?
I haven't had Pal for long,
but he's learned a lot already.
He learned that he shouldn't
slip out of his collar
during a walk.
( barking )
No, Pal!
Heel!
Heel! Stop!
Sit! Stay!
Wait!
( gasps )
( growls )
( barks )
( growling and barking )
I told you to heel!
( growling )
And he learned that Dad's
garden hose isn't a chew toy.
No, Pal, no!
Look at all
the teeth holes.
( whining )
Don't worry,
I fixed it
so dad will never notice
anything's wrong.
Oh!
DAD:
Arthur!
Want to go
for a walk?
( barks )
Hi.
D.W.:
Mom!
Arthur's feeding
pancakes
to the dog!
Just one little piece.
Arthur,
you know
Pal has his own
food to eat.
( Kate cooing,
Pal panting )
Done with this page?
( barks )
Want some
jelly worms?
I can't remember
if they're
from this Halloween
or last year's.
( barks )
After you chew
for a while
it's a lot easier.
Sorry, boy.
That's all.
Arthur, lunch!
MOM:
Arthur, what did
I tell you
about feeding
the dog?
I wasn't.
D.W.:
Want to hear
a good joke?
Knock-knock.
The dog's got
my wiener!
DAD:
Arthur, tell Pal
to let go!
Pal, let go!
It's mine,
it's mine!
Pal, sit!
Heel!
Stay!
Lie down!
Um roll over!
Give it back.
I don't eat your
dog food, do I?
( both growling )
I'll never let go, never!
Someday I'm going to teach that
dog a lesson he won't forget!
Surrender now,
bionic bubble brain!
Never!
( whining )
Hey, Pal.
You okay?
( groans )
ARTHUR:
Mom! Dad!
Mom! Dad!
He made a noise
like a car horn underwater.
( groans )
That's it, see?
If he gets worse,
we'll take him to the vet.
He'll have
to go to the vet.
My aunt's chameleon
escaped from the vet.
He slipped out of his cage,
changed colors
and slithered
into the air vent.
We lost him.
( gasps )
Luckily, Pal can't change colors
or slither into a vent.
( Pal howling )
BRAIN:
Arthur, the vet will
find out what's wrong.
Vets know how to talk to pets.
So what's the trouble,
Mr. Pal?
Arthur ( as Pal ):
My tongue hangs out
and I go ( groans )
You go
( groans differently )
No ( groans ).
Oh, I'll have to operate.
( electric saw whirring )
Would you like
a blindfold?
( whining )
Maybe Pal will
feel better
and you won't have
to go to the vet.
Yeah, maybe.
Bye.
ARTHUR:
Come on, Pal,
time for your walk.
I said it's time
for your walk.
( groans )
Mom, Dad!
Pal doesn't want to go
for his walk
and that's
his favorite thing.
I thought
eating the hose
was his
favorite thing.
What's wrong, boy?
Bring him in,
Mr. Read.
MAN:
Dog not feeling
well, Arthur?
No.
I'm sorry.
Victoria got tied
in a knot.
Oh, don't force it,
honey.
Don't force it.
My snail's been
acting sluggish.
( groaning )
What did
the vet say?
Pal will stay
here overnight.
( gasps )
But, Dad
he's never been
away from me.
Ever!
It's the best
way the doctor
can treat him.
( whining )
Come on, Arthur.
( whimpering ):
Don't worry, Pal,
you'll be fine-- bye.
I must be allergic
to something.
( sniffling )
Yeah.
Look on the bright side--
now we can get a good dog.
Mom!
PARENTS:
D.W.!
What?
I didn't mean to
upset you at dinner.
Hmm.
I want you to know
I felt the same way
when my bird died.
( whimpering )
ARTHUR:
Mom!
D.W.:
What?
What did
I say?
BRAIN:
I bet the vet
sends him
home tomorrow.
Guys
Yeah right!
Of course!
I think D.W. did this to Pal.
Are you serious?
She always hated him.
Let's call the cops
and put her in prison.
They won't do that--
She's innocent
until proven guilty.
We'll just have
to prove her guilty.
I can't believe
You want me to
play with you.
What are
we playing?
We're playing
"courtroom."
You're on trial.
Brain's the judge.
Francine's
your lawyer.
Hi, I'm the jury.
Does the jury get snacks?
( knocking )
Order in the court!
You are accused
of making Pal ill.
I'm what?!
How did you make him sick?
Why would I do that?
I know, she's an alien
sent to earth
to get rid of our dogs
in preparation
for an alien invasion
because dogs can tell
who's an alien and who's human.
Guilty!
My client is innocent
until proven guilty.
This game
is dopey.
I quit.
ARTHUR:
I know you did it, D.W.
I'll find the proof!
She's an alien.
( muttering ):
No no
Aah
( dogs growling ferociously )
( sirens wailing )
( growling continues )
D.W.:
Wait!
I can do it.
( laughs maliciously )
( phone rings )
Hello?
( Pal barking )
Pal? What is it, boy?
( Pal whining )
Pal?
Pal?!
Pal!
( growls )
( all barking )
( electric saw whirring )
( helicopter whirring )
They left this note.
No one knows
where they went.
ARTHUR ( screaming ):
Pal, where are you?
Pal, where are you?
( yawns )
What a ridiculous dream.
Pal doesn't even know
our phone number.
Your dog-- it had puppies!
But Pal is a boy dog.
Sorry, not you-- her.
Skungie had puppies!
Whoo-hoo!
( panting,
barking )
Pal!
You're all better!
He's still
a little queasy.
He ate a lot of things
that a dog shouldn't eat.
What did he eat yesterday?
Pancakes and
two-year-old candy
and some gum
and then he swallowed
a wiener whole
with mustard.
This is about what dogs
should eat to stay healthy.
And if you ate all that
maybe you should get
your stomach checked, too.
( giggling )
( Pal barking )
Look who's home.
So, what was wrong
with him, Arthur?
I guess I made him sick
by giving him things to eat.
Dogs' stomachs
are different than ours.
I'm real
sorry, boy.
( clears throat )
Sorry I blamed you, D.W.
It wasn't your fault.
uh-huh
And I'll convince Buster
you're not an alien.
Apology accepted.
Why would you think
I would do anything to Pal?
Because you said
you'd teach him
a lesson
he wouldn't forget.
And I still plan
to do that.
I got this
dog training book.
Read it to me.
I am going
to teach him
not to steal
my food
and to do
all the things
normal dogs are
supposed to do.
When I'm done
this will be exactly
the kind of dog
I always wanted.
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen
to your heart ♪
Listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself ♪
For that's the place
to start ♪
And I say hey! ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day! ♪
Hey! ♪