Cheaters (2022) s01e18 Episode Script
Episode 18
1
LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
Mate? Yeah? Can we discuss what we
talked about earlier?
HE COUGHS
Oh, my God.
That is absolutely horrible.
Whooo!
MUSIC: I'm Desperate
by BC Camplight
# I've got a hole in my shoe
# I've got my shoe on my foot
# I've got my foot in the grave
# It's a grave situation
# I owe a grand on Monday
# All I've got's a 20
and a picture of you
# Ooh-hoo
# When you walked in
# I hate to admit
# I'm desperate #
You doing an Irish goodbye?
Thought you lost your keys.
Hey, I didn't lose my keys,
I gave them away.
And Juliet, 31, has kindly
offered me a bed for the night.
Oh. Keep an eye on Paul.
Oh, I could hug everyone
in the world, you know.
We'll put him in a cab. Come on, up.
Josh, you want a group hug?
We're going to have a group hug
outside if you want.
HE SIGHS
Oh, shit, sorry.
I'll fetch her a blanket.
Let's have one more drink.
HE EXHALES
He'd probably be happy
the way he went out.
Passed out drunk on a
flight he didn't pay for,
in front of a Jumanji movie.
Yeah. My dad annoys me more than any
human alive, but erm
Yeah, I'd still take that hard.
I am, I am so sorry.
Well, I would like to raise a toast.
To my dad, who's great.
Yay!
Oh, God. No, I should probably wake
Esther actually.
No, no, no, let her be.
You guys can totally crash.
Goodnight.
Er
Uh
Urgh.
I know you want to have sex with
him.
Why don't you invite him up?
After what happened?
It's OK. I want this.
I'll go to the spare room
and you can keep the door open?
DEEP BREATHING
Come on.
Come on.
Where's Zack?
I sent him to the spare room.
What am I doing here?
I thought you didn't want any
I can want more than one thing.
I want you, Josh.
Wh I'd
FLOORBOARDS CREAK
PANTING
PANTING
What are you doing?
No, don't go in there.
What the fuck?!
Esther. Oh, you fucking liar!
Hey! Hey! Please don't do that.
Please don't fuck my boyfriend,
Fola.
Oh, well, it's actually too
late, apparently. Hey, guys.
So has this been going on
since Finland? Not exactly. Yes.
Esther, take a sec
And you! Having a wank outside!
Having a what outside?
I dunno what you three
have going on,
but you're a pack of total cunts.
Why did you even close the door?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck's
he talking about? Excuse me! Hello!
Can we focus back on the fact
that you two are fucking,
and presumably have been?
No, no, no, no. We've only done
it twice. Shut up, Josh!
Yes! "Oh, shut up, Josh!"
"Oh, only twice."
Oh, do you know what? That's, yeah,
that's absolutely fine then.
Sorry if I overreacted.
You two have been fucking,
and I am the last person
to know about it.
Oh, my God. I'm an idiot.
Esther Don't fucking touch me.
OK. But you're not an idiot.
Oh, no, I definitely am.
But you're a piece of shit.
You lied to me yesterday, Josh.
You saw how it made me feel when
I worked it out.
Because you didn't tell me,
I worked it out.
But then you lied to me anyway
and then you did it again,
while I was asleep downstairs.
Urgh. Absolutely get fucked, Josh!
Get fucked, Fola!
Get fucked, Zack. But most of all,
from the bottom of my heart,
you get fucked, Josh.
Wait
I really don't understand
what happened here.
Zack's known for a while. He's
He's into it.
This is absolutely insane.
Esther?
DOOR SLAMS
Wait. Hey, wait. Esther, please.
Wait. Esther!
Est, Est.
Est.
Give me your keys.
Listen very carefully, Josh.
We're done.
We're over. And when I'm gone,
you're going to miss me
so fucking much that you'll want to
die, and you'll deserve it.
# I am just a man #
DOOR SLAMS
# Tipping on a wire
# Tightrope-walkin' fool
# Balanced on desire
# Everything I am #
HE SIGHS
# Is yours
# Find it hard to say
# What's going on inside #
LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
Mate? Yeah? Can we discuss what we
talked about earlier?
HE COUGHS
Oh, my God.
That is absolutely horrible.
Whooo!
MUSIC: I'm Desperate
by BC Camplight
# I've got a hole in my shoe
# I've got my shoe on my foot
# I've got my foot in the grave
# It's a grave situation
# I owe a grand on Monday
# All I've got's a 20
and a picture of you
# Ooh-hoo
# When you walked in
# I hate to admit
# I'm desperate #
You doing an Irish goodbye?
Thought you lost your keys.
Hey, I didn't lose my keys,
I gave them away.
And Juliet, 31, has kindly
offered me a bed for the night.
Oh. Keep an eye on Paul.
Oh, I could hug everyone
in the world, you know.
We'll put him in a cab. Come on, up.
Josh, you want a group hug?
We're going to have a group hug
outside if you want.
HE SIGHS
Oh, shit, sorry.
I'll fetch her a blanket.
Let's have one more drink.
HE EXHALES
He'd probably be happy
the way he went out.
Passed out drunk on a
flight he didn't pay for,
in front of a Jumanji movie.
Yeah. My dad annoys me more than any
human alive, but erm
Yeah, I'd still take that hard.
I am, I am so sorry.
Well, I would like to raise a toast.
To my dad, who's great.
Yay!
Oh, God. No, I should probably wake
Esther actually.
No, no, no, let her be.
You guys can totally crash.
Goodnight.
Er
Uh
Urgh.
I know you want to have sex with
him.
Why don't you invite him up?
After what happened?
It's OK. I want this.
I'll go to the spare room
and you can keep the door open?
DEEP BREATHING
Come on.
Come on.
Where's Zack?
I sent him to the spare room.
What am I doing here?
I thought you didn't want any
I can want more than one thing.
I want you, Josh.
Wh I'd
FLOORBOARDS CREAK
PANTING
PANTING
What are you doing?
No, don't go in there.
What the fuck?!
Esther. Oh, you fucking liar!
Hey! Hey! Please don't do that.
Please don't fuck my boyfriend,
Fola.
Oh, well, it's actually too
late, apparently. Hey, guys.
So has this been going on
since Finland? Not exactly. Yes.
Esther, take a sec
And you! Having a wank outside!
Having a what outside?
I dunno what you three
have going on,
but you're a pack of total cunts.
Why did you even close the door?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck's
he talking about? Excuse me! Hello!
Can we focus back on the fact
that you two are fucking,
and presumably have been?
No, no, no, no. We've only done
it twice. Shut up, Josh!
Yes! "Oh, shut up, Josh!"
"Oh, only twice."
Oh, do you know what? That's, yeah,
that's absolutely fine then.
Sorry if I overreacted.
You two have been fucking,
and I am the last person
to know about it.
Oh, my God. I'm an idiot.
Esther Don't fucking touch me.
OK. But you're not an idiot.
Oh, no, I definitely am.
But you're a piece of shit.
You lied to me yesterday, Josh.
You saw how it made me feel when
I worked it out.
Because you didn't tell me,
I worked it out.
But then you lied to me anyway
and then you did it again,
while I was asleep downstairs.
Urgh. Absolutely get fucked, Josh!
Get fucked, Fola!
Get fucked, Zack. But most of all,
from the bottom of my heart,
you get fucked, Josh.
Wait
I really don't understand
what happened here.
Zack's known for a while. He's
He's into it.
This is absolutely insane.
Esther?
DOOR SLAMS
Wait. Hey, wait. Esther, please.
Wait. Esther!
Est, Est.
Est.
Give me your keys.
Listen very carefully, Josh.
We're done.
We're over. And when I'm gone,
you're going to miss me
so fucking much that you'll want to
die, and you'll deserve it.
# I am just a man #
DOOR SLAMS
# Tipping on a wire
# Tightrope-walkin' fool
# Balanced on desire
# Everything I am #
HE SIGHS
# Is yours
# Find it hard to say
# What's going on inside #