CHiPs (1977) s01e18 Episode Script

Cry Wolf

- 15, 6 Adam, 11-98 with 5 Mary, 11-48.
- I'm sorry, sir, could you speak slower? - 8 David, 10- 19 contact S- 1.
- I don't believe this.
One combination burrito, two tacos, you got that? Maybe if you speak louder.
One combination burrito, two tacos, a large chocolate shake and a large milk.
Thank you, sir.
Contact the occupant regarding an alleged hit-and-run.
California Highway Patrol.
Yeah, a big gas truck just rolled over onto some cars.
People are hurt.
There's gasoline everywhere.
Just send help quick.
We will, sir, but don't hang up.
I need the number of the box you're calling from.
SD 285.
San Diego Freeway 285? Yeah, and hurry.
Attention all San Diego Freeway units.
We have an 11-80 involving a gas tanker with leaking gasoline.
Southbound San Diego Freeway at Sunset.
All responding units identify.
L.
A.
, 7 Adam responding.
Here goes our lunch.
It sounds bad.
- L.
A.
, 7 Mary 3 and 4 responding.
- 10-4, 7 Mary 3.
Jon, you okay? Yeah, I'm all right.
Give me a hand, would you? - Will you help me with the bike? - Yeah.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I skidded in the water.
Are you all right? Yeah, there's no harm.
I just dirtied my uniform a little bit.
Oh, you tore your sleeve.
You are hurt.
It's just a little scrape.
Hey, I'm sorry it isn't worse.
Well, at least you didn't have to ring for a nurse.
Yeah.
You better move the car out of the way, okay? Oh, okay.
Ponch, you wanna give me a hand with this? Come on.
One, two, three.
- What, we get the wrong location? - Baricza's checking.
- We know there's nothing southbound.
- Take a look north up to Mulholland.
- Not even a fender-bender south of us.
- All right.
- Hey, Baricza.
- Yeah? Okay, let's go.
Move it on up.
Come on, keep it moving, nice and easy.
Come on, vW, let's go, let's go.
Clear this up.
Then I want you, Fritz, Baricza, Poncherello and Baker back in my office for a special assignment.
Yes, sir.
Come on.
Let's move it.
Hey, move it.
- Come on, let's move it.
- Come on, move out.
Go on.
Let's go, move it up here.
- Let's go.
- Come on, move ahead.
Attention all San Diego units responding to an 11-79 at Sunset, - Well, that takes care of the emergency.
- Yeah.
Then there's no rush, right? Right.
Listen, I'm an x-ray technician at the Valley General Hospital.
And, well, that elbow could very well be chipped.
You should come in and have an x-ray made.
Hey, that's a great idea, Jon.
When it comes to bones, you never know, right? - Right.
- Hey, listen, the arm's fine.
But if it gives me any trouble, I'll drop in.
- You have a nice day, Miss Wayburn.
- All right, you too.
I can't believe it.
You just rolled out of a foxy lady's life.
- Naturally.
- Naturally? There's nothing natural about it.
There was an attraction between you two, man.
I could feel it.
Ponch, you should be writing soap operas.
Okay, keep it moving, let's go.
Come on, don't sit there all day.
These people gotta go somewhere.
Let's go.
Hey, Baker, why don't you look for a different laundry? - Not funny, Baricza.
He hurt his elbow.
- He's tough.
I didn't hurt my elbow, I just skinned it a little.
Hey, guys, Getraer wants to see us in his office as soon as we get back.
Keep it moving, come on.
Listen, at least have the elbow x-rayed, Jon.
You got the advice from a specialist, an interested expert.
Ponch, that was purely professional interest, all right? You misread it.
- Come on, move it up.
- Come on.
Yeah.
From the tapes, it sounds like the same guy who called in the phony school bus explosion last week.
Look, I'm sorry, that's all I have.
Right.
Bye.
But why does the guy give the wrong box number when he calls in? If anybody spots him, he's not at a box that we all know about.
And that's how he gets his kicks? If I get my hands on him, he'll get a kick.
For those of you who haven't met him this is Jay Higgins from the phone company.
- Hey, Mr.
Higgins.
- This is a special assignment task force.
We have a plan that we'll implement in the morning as soon as the tracing equipment is hooked up.
The service desk operators have studied the tapes.
As soon as a voice calls in that sounds like this guy we're gonna respond as a team.
I want you guys to cover all the boxes in both directions for three miles.
- Is that clear? - You said, tracing equipment? I want the line open and start the trace when the operator gives me the signal.
This'll tell us really what box he's using.
Then why bother checking the other boxes? Well, these traces take time.
We'll try to keep him talking.
But if we can't, hopefully one of our team will be able to spot him.
- We're gonna need a lot of luck.
- Yeah.
And I want you to remember this, all of you.
He's always out there.
Every time one of these things goes down one of those people close by is him.
Now, Baker here is gonna take charge of the detail and figure out some tactics.
Incidentally, Baker, you gotta pay more attention to your appearance.
Your uniform's a mess.
He almost got killed out there today.
No, I didn't.
I just skinned my elbow a little bit.
- Well, what happened? - He had to lay his bike down.
Frank, he skinned his elbow, not his vocal chords.
The only damage is to the shirt, sarge.
The problem is, Mother here won't stay off my back about it.
I'm just trying to get him to have it x- rayed for the good of the department.
That's good thinking, Frank.
That's a good attitude.
Baker, get over to Orthopedic and have it x-rayed.
Valley General would be better.
They specialize in arms and elbows.
It's all the same to me, but stop on the way and change your uniform.
- All right.
- Okay.
Go ahead.
Briefing, Sergeant Getraer.
The next time you go out when I'm not home, will you lock the door? Please? I was in a hurry, Sarah.
I'm sorry.
I had a job interview.
Where? At a warehouse.
What warehouse? There you go again! You're always doing that.
You make me feel like I'm back in the joint with some screw following me around to make sure everything I do You're not my sister, Sarah.
You're a warden.
I am your sister and I'm interested.
All I said was, "What warehouse?" It's not really what you wanna know, is it? What you wanna know is, have I been popping any fire alarm boxes again, right? No.
You did your time, you paid for that and you promised me.
- I wanna know, did you get the job? - No.
I didn't go near any fire alarm boxes, either.
How's that grab you? Walt, you just can't stay shut in here with a father who's been dead since you were 6.
- You're 23 years old.
- But you said that you wanted me here.
That's right.
And this is home.
Time is passing, Walt.
You've got to do something with your life.
I'II I'll get a job.
It just has to be the right one.
California Highway Patrol.
There's a huge brushfire burning along the San Diego Freeway near Bel-Air.
Both sides of the freeway are going up.
It's spreading fast.
Don't hang up, sir.
I need the number of the box you're calling from.
It's SD 426.
I was writing up a trucker less than But I didn't see the guy.
Or anything else that'd help.
Well, at least you knew it was a false alarm.
He sounded for real.
He always does, like it's really happening.
Well, maybe it is to him.
Okay.
Nothing, huh? Bar caught this before it got out of hand.
- Okay.
Go write up a report.
- Okay.
Sarge, we should ask the public for help.
I mean, they do see things out there.
That's a good idea, Jon.
It's such a good idea, the captain thought of it this morning.
Well, I figured I gave him enough time.
The phone company's tracing equipment is due to be ready at 8 in the morning.
At 8, I want you and your team to bear down.
Let's nail this guy.
California Highway Patrol.
A helicopter crashed on the freeway.
It's terrible.
I think I've got him.
- Are you there? - Yes, sir, I am.
I need to know the number of the box you're calling from.
SD 248.
Is anyone but the pilot hurt? No, no.
I think he was alone.
All San Diego Freeway units we have a helicopter down at the Santa Monica interchange.
Fifteen to 7 Mary 3 and Mary 4, 7 Adam and 7 David the call is a possible false alarm, respond as planned.
L.
A.
, 7 Mary 3 and 4 will respond.
L.
A.
, 7 Adam from Bundy.
Here Here they come.
There's two coming.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 4, 10-97, helicopter crash.
Santa Monica and National.
Continue rolling fire unit and ambulance.
- They said there'd be an ambulance.
- Well, they're coming.
It's blood.
You get the box? - What box? - Rh-negative.
B- PTC.
Thank you very much.
There's a kid at v alley General, a hemophiliac.
He's in surgery.
The kid'll die.
No, he won't.
Take it easy.
We'll take care of it.
Ponch, get him out of here, okay? Before this chopper blows.
All right.
Pick him up carefully and put him on the shoulder.
Folks.
Folks, listen up.
You gotta get behind the cars.
Come on, now, get back.
Let's move.
Still somebody in there? A box of rare blood he was flying up from San Diego.
This wreck's gonna blow, Jon.
- Watch your fingers.
- All right.
It's wedged in there.
There, wedge it.
Wedge it a little more.
Okay, I got it.
Let's go.
Doctor? I've got a box of rare blood.
Where the heck you guys been? That kid could've died.
Name's Jon Baker.
You know yours? - Officer Egg-in-the-Face.
- Really.
Hey, look, I'm sorry I got so upset.
You people probably saved that little boy's life.
Thanks.
Listen, you go ahead.
I'll wait here.
Listen, could you direct? Oh, Miss Wayburn.
Hi.
- It's giving you trouble, isn't it? - My elbow? No.
My partner, my sergeant, yeah.
I have to file a report, you know, and take an x-ray.
Okay.
Terrific.
Why don't sit down here and I'll get the information? Oh, wait a minute.
Let me see if the room's free.
Swell.
Why don't we get the pictures now and I'll get the information later, okay? Yeah, okay.
Well, I must say, you have a very photogenic elbow.
Your name, Jon Baker, right? No, it's J-O-N.
Your address? Two minutes.
How about that? We're both Leos.
Yeah, stubborn, bossy and independent.
And passionate.
Yeah, when aroused.
I need your place of birth.
Rawlins, Wyoming.
You're kidding.
I'm from Soda Springs, Idaho.
What? Hey, that's great trout fishing.
The best.
You know Bear Lake? I used to go there all the time.
Yeah.
Oh, how long you been in L.
A.
? Oh, four years.
Took my degree at UCLA and just stayed.
Someday I'm going back home, with all that good clean air.
Nah, you'll probably marry some doctor and settle in the smog.
- That's not what I'm planning on.
- Yeah, those are the things that happen.
Things we're not planning on.
Hey, how we doing here? Oh, you remember my partner, Ponch? Of course.
How are you? Excuse me.
- For you, Miss Wayburn.
- Me? Thank you, Mark.
I wonder who She shoot your best side? Oh, Jon.
Oh, how sweet.
They're beautiful.
What a lovely surprise.
Yeah, well, something you weren't planning on, right? Excuse me.
I'll get something to put these in.
Jon.
I am.
And you're welcome.
Now, what did she mean by that? What'd the note say? It says, "It's nice to know someone who's concerned about me.
Thanks, Jon.
" - Too personal.
- You don't like her? - I didn't say that.
- You do like her? - What if I do? - Flowers sent me back nine bucks.
Yeah, well, it's nice to know someone that's concerned about me.
Thanks.
What is it? You gonna watch TV? No, why? I wanted to watch a show if you weren't gonna use the set.
In other words, I get out.
No, you can carry the set to my room.
You're always talking to me like I'm a little kid.
You're the little kid, Sarah.
Like Dad was still here to do things for you, to spoil you.
Do you wanna take the set to my room or not? You can watch it in here.
I'm going out.
He's with the sergeant.
Thought we better catch you before you make other plans.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Great.
We'll pick you up at 7:30.
What a night this is gonna be.
Gourmet food, fine wine, soft music.
Ruth and I are doubling with you and Karen.
Surprised? - It's all arranged.
I just talked to Karen.
- Without a word to me? Well, you like her, don't you? I made reservations at a great new spot.
A real classy restaurant, Jon.
She'll really be impressed.
Okay, sure.
I'm sorry.
I'll call it off.
- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening.
- Poncherello, reservations for four.
- Yes, sir.
It'll be about 20 minutes.
Please have a seat at the bar.
I'll call you when your table's ready.
- Good evening, Mr.
Rainey.
- Hello, Andre.
I know I'm early but No, no, no.
No problem, no problem at all.
This way please.
Watch your step.
What is this? We're on time, they're early.
They get a table and we wait? - Yes, sir? - We decided not to wait in the bar.
We'd like our table now.
Of course.
Your name again, please.
- Poncherello.
- Poncherello.
Poncherello, Poncherello.
I'm terribly sorry but I don't have a Poncherello listed here.
- It's under your thumb.
- Sir? It's under your thumb.
Of course, Mr.
Poncherello.
If you'd be so kind as to sit at the bar, I'll call you later.
I'm sorry, sir, no way.
Will you show us to a table or shall we just pick one we like? Well, certainly, Mr.
Poncherello.
I see your table's ready now.
This way please, right this way.
You guys handled that beautifully, both of you.
Yeah, you really did.
Well, we just don't like people trying to take advantage.
Yeah, well, how are we gonna handle this menu? It's all in French.
Good evening.
Would Monsieur like to consult the wine list? Or we have an excellent house wine, Chateau Bordeaux, 1969.
Oh, '69? That'll be fine.
Why don't we start with escargot? I was just gonna suggest that.
Why don't we all start with escargot? Yeah, anything you say.
I'm just hungry.
Voilà.
Your escargot.
Enjoy.
Snails.
Don't they smell divine? Yeah.
There is something about French cooking.
I wish I could get the hang of it.
I can't.
And my mother was French.
I don't know.
It's some kind of instinct.
And I don't have it.
Ponch, these are delicious.
Aren't they, Jon? Yeah, they're not bad.
Really, they're not bad.
Yeah, but just a shade too much garlic.
That was a good idea, Ponch, escargot.
I kind of thought you'd like it.
Ponch.
Ladies and gentlemen, cailles à I'orange.
It's a quail baked in an orange glaze.
It's really delicious, you'll love it.
Well, I hope so, I'm starved.
I don't think I can eat this.
I used to raise parakeets when I was a kid.
Anybody for a drumstick? Ponch.
Well, I honestly did expect at least two quail.
Yeah, they were really delicious, but a guy could eat at least a dozen of them.
Well, next time, we'll know.
And thanks.
I did have fun.
That's okay, I had a good time too.
Thank you very much.
- Listen, I'd ask you in but - That's all right.
Listen, I gotta get going.
Will we see each other again? You do look a whole lot better.
Jeff! Jeff, come get this thing out of my car.
Whoever left that sure must have been in a hurry.
Yeah.
I'll move it out of the way.
L.
A.
15, 7 Mary 3, got an 11-24 on the 1500 block of 8th Avenue request a 10-28 on Sam-queen-zebra-2-8-0.
Fifteen to 7 Mary 3, 10-4.
Jon? Jon? Jon! Jon? There's a snake in here.
Get me out.
Okay, unlock the door.
It's jammed.
Yank it open.
Okay, push your shoulder into it.
- It's got me.
- I didn't know you like snakes.
I hate him and he knows it.
He's getting ready to bite me.
No, he's a boa constrictor.
They don't bite.
They just squeeze and Of course, then they swallow you.
Don't try to cheer me up, partner.
Just get him off me, get him off.
Like, he's really hanging on, man.
I think he likes you.
I think he'd like to have me for lunch.
Good, pull.
Yeah.
There we go.
- What are you guys doing? - Stand back, son.
No, leave him alone.
He's mine.
Me leave him alone? You're a big boy.
Oh, come here.
Don't worry, I won't let him hurt you.
It's okay, Ralphie.
- Ralphie? - I know what you mean.
He scares me to pieces.
Well, you shouldn't carry him around loose in the car.
We don't.
I left him in there so I could clean out his cage.
Yeah.
Yeah, nobody likes a dirty snake.
I'm sorry it happened.
Believe me, it won't again.
That's all right.
There's no harm done.
By the way, your keys are in the car.
Fifteen, 42, 11-82, westbound San Bernardino Freeway east of Campus vehicle into the center divider.
Oh, thanks.
Were you guys scared? No, no.
We I was scared I might hurt him.
We don't know much about snakes.
Why don't you come by some time? I'll teach you.
Hey, that's a good idea.
A real good idea, Ponch.
Why don't you take him inside? He might catch cold.
California Highway Patrol.
Hello? Yeah, San Diego Freeway 255.
All right, sir.
Yeah, a Greyhound bus went over the overpass onto the freeway.
It's awful.
Greyhound bus involved, 7 Mary 3 and Mary 4, implement the special detail.
- Bingo.
Two-five-three.
- Seven Mary 3 the false alarm was called in from San Diego 253.
Stay away! Don't come near me.
Okay, take it easy, all right? Oh, man, come on.
What are you doing out there? Come on back here.
Get away, I mean it.
I'm only trying to help.
Why don't you let me do that? It's my job.
No.
L.
A.
15 to 7 Mary 3, we need assistance for our victim.
No! No! No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
No.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't know why I did that.
I don't really wanna die.
You're lucky we weren't answering some false alarm.
I'm sorry.
You know what? We're going to see Madame Butterfly, a Japanese opera written by an Italian, sung in Spanish, and translated by a Puerto Rican who insisted we have our French dinner before we go.
Now that's love.
Well, I hope we have more of whatever this is than that poor quail.
Hey, you said you trust me to order, right? Have I ever let you down? Yeah, well, I'll tell you in a minute.
Voilà.
Cheeseburgers and a side of fries.
Hey, now, that's what I call a French dinner.
Waiter? Bring us some ketchup.
Snails.

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