Evening Shade s01e18 Episode Script

It's lunch time in Evening Shade, and Wood Newton is taking time to relax and enjoy a second glass of iced tea.
Of course he has no idea his peaceful afternoon is about to be disrupted by the sound of two rather frightening little words Harvey Lujack.
Well, what do you hear from Miss Frieda and Evan? Oh, not much.
Uh, uh, Evan's coming back tonight.
Where are they? Hawai-ya.
Fine.
How are you? Hawai-ya.
They've been over there for a week.
Oh.
They had some kind of newspaper editors convention.
I thought it had been awful quiet around here.
How'd she ever convince him to pay for her ticket? I paid for it.
What? Yeah, I figured if we all get together and take up a collection, we can keep Frieda in the air for about 24 hours.
Afternoon, everybody.
Oh, hey, Miss Beausoleil.
Hi, Miss Fontana.
Hi, Miss Fontana.
What can I get for you today? Oh, just an order of coleslaw to go.
Got it.
If I don't watch my figure, nobody else will, either.
I don't think that'll be a problem.
Want to sit down and wait for your coleslaw? Oh, I'd love to.
Be our guest.
Thank you.
Isn't it a shame about all the rain they've been getting in Hawaii? It rained in Hawaii? Well, yeah.
It's all Evan talked about in his letters, except for the personal stuff.
Yeah.
He didn't mention it.
Oh, really? He didn't get any letters.
Oh.
Well, I guess you have a different relationship with him than I do.
Thank God, huh, Coach? Why don't you go to Hawaii sometime? You know, when I was in college, I tried to get in this fraternity, so I did this big Hawaiian luau for everybody.
I even buried a pig.
Oh, I've always wanted to taste that.
How was it? I don't know.
The neighbor's dog dug it up before I did.
Here's your coleslaw, Miss Fontana.
Did I hear you say something about it's raining in Hawaii? Yeah.
Evan says they haven't been able to leave the hotel in three days.
I guess Miss Frieda's driving the room service people crazy.
I can understand that.
Frieda's idea of a great breakfast is a Ramos Fizz and fresh lifeguard.
Extra! Extra! Harvey Lujack escapes from state prison! What?! You mean that fella who robbed the Shopping Depot has escaped? Yeah, it just come in over the wire downtown at the newspaper Coach, there ain't nothing in there about Harvey Lujack.
The news came in after we already printed it.
Well, then why are you running all over town yelling, "Extra, extra?" 'Cause that's what it is extra news we couldn't fit into the paper.
I know all about it, though.
Oh.
Did anybody find out which way he's headed? I heard he's coming this way.
Hey, Coach, you want me to go with you? No, thanks, Herman.
Now how did he get away? Snuck out in the back of a laundry truck.
Oh, they're always getting out in the back of laundry trucks.
Seems to me, they could cut their escape rate 100% if they'd just put a dry cleaners there in the penitentiary.
All them Lujacks is trouble.
Yeah.
Listen, armed robbery's nothing to sneeze at.
Oh, he wasn't armed.
He just kind of walked in there and asked for all their money, and they give it to him.
Of course when a man is as big as he is and asks for something, you don't want to disappoint him by saying no.
I know.
Hey, listen, what exactly was it he said when they were leading him out of the courtroom? What he said was, "If I ever get out of prison, "I'm gonna come back here, and I'm gonna get Miss Ava, and I'm gonna shoot her.
" Oh, no.
That's right.
Oh.
Mitch, if you'd like to go out for coffee or something, it's okay.
Sheriff Hutchinson told me to stick to you like glue.
Yes, but I don't think he meant literally stick to I don't think that it's necessary, you know.
I think that he is overexaggerating because I- I have a lot of work to do, so if you'd like to go out and do whatever you'd like to do, it's okay with me.
I don't know, Miss Newton.
If you got carved up and killed, there'd be a big black mark on my personnel file.
Sorry, that didn't come out quite right.
No, it's okay.
Look, Harvey Lujack is just another convict to me, really.
I mean, I put him in jail once, I can do it again.
Yes, ma'am.
I'll try and stay out of your way.
Okay.
Does it bother you if I stand here? No, it's all right.
Good.
'Cause I don't want to bother you.
I'm sure you don't.
The last thing I want to do is bother you.
Okay.
But as long as we're both here, and I have to keep you company You know something, Mitch? This is not gonna work, really.
I- I don't think it's gonna work.
I think I think I'm gonna go to the ladies' room.
I'll come with you.
No! You're not a lady.
I'll wait outside.
Come on.
Hi.
Hi.
Oh, am I glad to see you.
Hi, Wood.
Oh, hi, Mitch.
We were just going to the ladies' room.
Oh? I mean, she's going to the ladies' room.
I'm just going to watch.
Really? From the hallway.
Yeah.
Would you mind waiting outside? Well, since the coach is here, I guess it's okay.
Okay.
Thanks, Mitch.
Okay.
Have you heard about this Harvey Lujack? I just found out.
I got to get out of here.
That's a good idea.
I'm gonna take you and the kids out of the state.
If Harvey comes here, I'll come back, I'll break his neck.
No, honey, that's not what I mean.
What'd you mean? No, I meant that I have this huge case to prepare, you know, against the contractor who landscaped Delaney Park.
And all I can do is-is follow people around me because everybody is so jumpy about-about this Harvey Lujack business.
They ought to be jumpy.
Why? Because the guy screamed at you.
He said, "I'm gonna come back and get ya.
" No, actually he said, "I'm gonna come back and shoot you.
" Well, that makes me feel better.
Really, honey, it's no big deal.
No, no, you say that to me when I lose every football game for two and a half years.
"That's not a big deal.
" In this situation, when somebody's threatening your life, you know, you say to me, "Buy a baseball bat.
" All right.
Well, if it'll make you feel better, then buy a baseball bat, but I'm telling you, this kind of thing happens all the time.
These small-town hoods they're just full of hot air.
Besides, do you really think he's gonna come back to Evening Shade? I mean, this is the first place they're gonna look.
Yeah.
Maybe.
You know what I was thinking, if-if you and I went away for like, you know, ten days together, till this whole thing blew over.
I can't.
I have a trial in two days.
Mm.
I've got a job to do.
People elected me to get things done, and if I'm not prepared, that won't happen.
Yeah, but I-I just want you to feel safe, you know.
Hmm.
When I'm in your arms, I feel like the safest thing in the whole world.
Hm.
Remember that speech you made at the Barbecue Villa? You know, about how hard I've worked to get this far and how-how proud you are of me, and how how I could do the job that any man can do? And that you'd support me no matter what? Vaguely.
This is one of those times I really need you to live up to that speech.
So please, just let me pack up all my stuff and go home, where I can get some work done.
You really want to go home, huh? Why should I sit around looking at Mitch when I can sit around looking at you? Good point.
Where are you going? Home to get something done.
I'll have to post myself outside your house then.
Uh, tell him it's not necessary.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
On the way over to the house, you buy a baseball bat.
Thank you all so much for eating over there while I work here.
It's okay, Mom.
I like this stuff.
Good.
What is it? Salisbury steak.
Where does it come from? The freezer.
Really? Hmm.
No, Will.
It comes from cows, like hamburgers and shoes.
Hey, Dad? Huh? Can I let Missy Jennings pierce my ears? No.
Why not? It's a rule I have.
Anybody under five feet tall cannot operate on my children.
Well, when can I start wearing makeup? Halloween.
Hey, why bother? Will you t Will you tell him to leave me alone?! Would you leave her alone? Hey, Mom, you want to try some Salisbury steak? Oh.
It comes from cows just like shoes.
Oh, no thanks, honey, I'm gonna eat later.
Are you staying here so the bad guy won't get you? Remember we talked about that before? That bad guy's probably and the police are gonna catch him, so there's nothing to worry about.
Yeah, besides, Will, we got Mitch outside with a gun and a bat.
AVA See? So you don't have to be scared.
But if you are scared, you can come and tell me, okay? Hey, Mom, can we go upstairs and watch television? Oh, sure, if you've finished your dinner and your homework.
It's okay.
America's Most Wanted is on.
Maybe we'll see Harvey Lujack.
Come on, Will.
I really wish they hadn't heard about this.
Yeah.
Well, you know, there are so many exciting things to talk about in Evening Shade.
I mean, why would they want to talk about a silly little death threat from an ape-shaped Neanderthal man? I'm sorry my job takes so much adjusting to.
Thanks for being so understanding.
You're welcome.
Can I ask you for a favor? Mm-hmm.
Quit your job.
What?! Well, you don't get any exercise.
The only time you stand up is when you say, "I object.
" Oh.
It's a good thing I know you're kidding.
I'll get it.
If it's a homicidal maniac out for revenge, tell him I'm too busy.
Okay.
Hey, I don't want to get anybody in trouble around here, but considering the circumstances, I think you need to tighten up your security just a little bit.
I just passed Mitch Lineberger out on your front yard, and he said, "Oh, hi, Mr.
Stiles.
Go right on in.
" How does he know I'm not Harvey Lujack trying to sneak in here in some kind of ingenious disguise? Well, first of all, Harvey Lujack is quite a bit bigger than you are.
And besides, Mitch knows he'd never wear anything this fashionable.
What can we do for you? Question is, what can I do for you, and I'm gonna tell you.
I found some things in my closet that I think you ought to hang onto until all this stuff passes over.
No, we got all the dirty clothes we need.
It's not dirty clothes.
This is serious business! All right! Who do I remind you of? A middle-aged Mutant Ninja Math Teacher.
Laugh all you want to.
Sorry, I didn't mean to These things are dangerous Oh! I can see that! Herman? Herman?! Where did you get this stuff? Oh, I got them from my Tae Kwan Do guru.
I took a class down at the Y from Master Buddy Stotlemeyer.
What kind of grade did you get? White belt.
Well, hey, Mr.
Stiles.
Hey.
Are those nunchakus? Can I see 'em? Um Oh, these are not toys, Grasshopper.
Listen, you all, I-I have a lot of work to do here, so do you mind taking those toys and playing somewhere else? Oh, I'm sorry.
We didn't mean to disturb you.
Okay.
She's something, isn't she? She's calm as the eye of a hurricane.
Come on, I want to show you some more of my stuff.
Wait, I meant they should go outside.
No, no, I-I'll talk to him.
I I'll get the door first.
Um, Herman, watch out for the TV.
Oh, Wood.
Hi, Merleen.
Oh, Ava, hi.
Hi.
Mitch said that he thought it would be all right.
I'm just so glad that he's not strip-searching people.
I mean, you all really don't have the facilities for it out there on the porch.
That's true.
Well, I just thought at a time like this, that you might like to have family around you.
Oh.
Oh, that's very sweet, Merleen, but we're not actually related.
Well, no, I mean, not technically, but I mean, we are all part of the family of man.
At least that's what Ally Sheedy says.
How are you holding up, honey? Oh, I'm fine, really.
I just have a lot of work to do.
Now, look, this is what you call a throwing star.
You see, it's really dangerous and the action is right in your wrist there.
Sorry, Miss Ava.
Oh, Herman.
Oh.
Oh, I had no idea that, that you were so interested in self-defense.
Well, if a man can't defend himself, how can he expect to defend anybody else? Well, I was sprayed with Mace once.
Stop it.
Yeah.
Ooh.
Oh, I like that.
You were really sprayed with Mace? Yes.
Harlan took me to New York to see Cats, which by the way, is not near as much about cats as you might think.
Ava, did you know that cats can be prostitutes? I was shocked.
Of course well, I did used to have this little Siamese.
Oh, well, but I just thought she was popular.
Anyhow, Harlan gave me this tiny spray bottle of Mace.
Well I accidentally got it mixed up with my perfume.
And my neck was sore for a week.
I mean, I couldn't even look up to see the Statue of Liberty.
All I could see was the bottom of its dress.
If that's Harvey Lujack, it'll be a relief.
How was Hawaii? Wet.
Hi.
Hey, Grandpa.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Evan.
Hi, Daddy.
Honey, what's happening here? I stopped by Ponder's on my way back in to town.
I heard all these crazy stories about some nut coming to get even with you? I know, I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry it worried you.
Well, when an escaped convict threatens to shoot my daughter, I tend to get edgy.
I know.
I understand.
But I keep telling everybody, I don't think he's going to show up here.
We offered to get hysterical, but she wouldn't let us.
I don't know, this whole thing's weird.
It's kind of like High Noon if Gary Cooper hadn't given a damn.
What are you doing here? I came to protect your daughter.
No, really, what are you here for? Show him your stick things.
Oh, yeah, here.
Look.
Oh, no, no, no, please don't.
Oh, I'm sure Ava's right.
I mean, the chances of this are very remote.
I'm sure that Thank you.
the sheriff has this whole thing under Why don't we just try and be rational? Does this mean you don't want me to go back to the truck to get your shotgun? For the time being, yeah.
Well, I think they should do some sort of testing over there at the Miss America Pageant.
You know, just like they do with the athletes.
And if any of them have been abusing silicone, they should be disqualified.
Oh, I don't agree with you.
I think they should be able to use anything they want to, as long as it looks good.
I mean, bodybuilders inject silicone into their calves to keep their legs from looking like string beans with knots in them.
Hey, Coach, you got any more Cheese Whiz? Yeah, in the fridge.
I once knew a guy got his whole jaw replaced.
No? Yeah, come here.
I can't get your daughter to take this thing seriously.
You know what I mean? Was she always like that, so stubborn? Oh, yeah.
Yeah? Well, it's a pain in the butt.
She probably gets it from you.
Maybe, maybe.
But I, I paid for it.
Boy, when she was a kid, she used to go out with some guy that drove me crazy, some idiot, and everybody could see he was all wrong for her.
Who was this idiot? You.
Finally I had to let her do what she thought was best, and I reckon that's what you'll have to do.
Maybe.
But, boy, she certainly can make some awful mistakes.
I'm glad it rained on you for three days.
Wood! Yeah? I just saw Harvey Lujack, about 20 minutes ago down at the Stop 'n Shop.
He was buying a Three Musketeers bar.
Where's Ava? Ava? Ava? Where are you, darling? Molly, where's your mother? She told me not to tell anyone.
Honey, this is serious.
Where is your mother? She told me that she couldn't get any work done, so she sneaked off to her office.
How long ago? A half hour.
Let's go.
Oh! No, you stay here, son.
Merleen, you call Ava.
Tell her we're on our way.
Okay.
I can't find that Winchell file anywhere.
Mitch Would you mind checking the basement files for me? I can't let you out of my sight.
Oh, come on.
It's going to take five minutes.
It's right downstairs, please? Please? Okay.
Can anyone remember Ava's number at the office? What's this? Oh, okay, here it is.
Seven, six, oh, five It's ringing.
Mitch? Remember me? MERLEEN Hello? Hello? How come the lights are off? I didn't see Mitch in his car out front.
He's probably bound and gagged and locked in the trunk.
Well, probably not.
What's that? It's a Three Musketeers wrapper.
Let's go.
Ava! Ava? Oh, man.
Get him! Put him in the chair.
Ow! Ow! Give me those before you hurt yourself.
A ninja always carries a second pair.
Now, where's Ava? Oh, hey, you now, that silent treatment ain't gonna work on us.
You see this? This is your head.
This is what's gonna happen to you if you don't talk.
What is going on in here? We caught Harvey Lujack! It's a good thing I was here, too.
I would have preferred that he be armed, though, so at least it would have been a fair fight.
I hope that wasn't expensive.
It was! You didn't get your sweet revenge after all, did you? Huh? I'd never do anything to hurt Miss Ava.
Well, then why, when you were leaving that courtroom, did you scream out that you were gonna come back here and shoot her? You have to talk tough or else those boys in the joint'll ask you to dance.
He didn't even mean to escape.
He took a nap in the back of a laundry truck, and the next thing he knew he was halfway to Memphis.
You believe that? Uh-huh.
I knew nobody'd believe me.
That's why I came here to find Miss Ava.
She's the best lawyer I know.
Mrs.
Newton, the state police are here.
Come on, Harvey.
Harvey, I'll talk to the warden.
I think it'll help.
Thanks, Miss Ava.
But don't tell anybody I didn't really escape or they'll give me a hard time.
And those guys are big.
I heard you went to Hawaii; how was it? Wet.
Really? Huh.
Well, that wraps up another case.
Good thing we didn't have to rely on them state patrol wienies, though.
I better follow them out.
Make sure they don't need some backup.
Oh, pardon me.
Are you all right, darling? Oh, yeah, Daddy, I'm fine.
Oh, can I talk to Wood a second alone? Yeah, yeah.
I'm not gonna apologize.
I wasn't gonna ask you to.
I was gonna thank you.
I guess I didn't want anybody to know how concerned I was about this.
You know, I feel that people elected somebody, and I didn't want them to think that she cracked under pressure.
Ava, they think you're great at your job.
These people love you.
That's why they're all over at our house right now eating all of our Cheese Whiz.
I guess that's one of the joys of living in a small town, huh? Yeah.
The prosecuting attorney in New York City, maybe he can use a guy like Herman.
No, I don't think so.
No, no-no-no.
I wouldn't take it that far.
But this doesn't mean that I want you to take me out of the state every time I have a problem.
Yeah.
Well, I can't just sit around when somebody's trying to kill you.
Oh, you mean like I used to sit around every Sunday in the stands watching some try to kill you? Touché.
Hey, are y'all okay in he No need to worry about them! They're already making out! So all is well.
Harvey Lujack continues to serve his time with pride, while the rest of us get into each other's business and help out when we can, in a place called Evening Shade.
In Evening Shade We ain't afraid to get a little laid back And let the daylight fade Life goes slow and it's worth a lot more When you got it made And we got it made in the shade Evening Shade.