Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e18 Episode Script

1
(upbeat music)
(rock music)
- Mom, the beach is beautiful today!
Suns out, water's warm, there's
not even a cloud in the sky.
It's just perfect!
You really should get out
more you work too hard.
- Really, well it's a good
thing I've got the day off then.
- Yeah I like days off.
- And since it's a really special day,
I thought we could go have
a picnic in King's Park.
- Sounds good.
- Haven't you forgotten something?
- Oh yeah.
Sorry.
(wooshing)
(upbeat music)
- Increasing velocity to level five.
All systems go.
- Woohoo!
(robot beeping)
Woohoo!
(knocking)
- Am I interrupting?
- Yes!
What do you want?
- Your shoeshine doohickey.
- You mean the Buff-o-matic?
- Yeah whatever, Dad's in town
on some investment seminar
and he wants to take me to lunch.
I have to look my best.
- Yeah, yeah, over there.
- [Robot] Switching to
life form search mode.
- What's that?
- It's live video from my
remote, cybernetic probe.
- And in geek language that means.
- I've invented a robot
to search for life on other planets.
- Where's this coming from?
Mars?
Venus?
- Downstairs.
Maybe your father would like to invest.
This is just the first step in my plans
for an Irish space program.
- Yeah right like my dad
would want to invest in,
isn't that Hannah?
(whirring)
(robot beeping)
(robot beeping)
- Yes!
- [Robot] Target engaged
- It's following her
into the girls' showers!
- No, no, no, don't.
No, I'll have to switch it off automatic.
- No way the girls will freak!
(robot beeping)
- Give it back!
- Cormac, this is too good.
(robot beeping)
- Oh.
- Hey!
Can't you knock?
- Get off will you?
- Give it back!
- Oh I know, I'll just go
down to the hardware store
and get a doorbell that works
between Ireland and Australia.
(robot beeping)
- Just give it back!
- No!
(robot beeping)
- What was that?
It's disappeared off the tracking screen!
- Keep it up Cormac.
You might invent something
that works one day.
(robot beeping)
- We're gonna have to
figure something out,
I mean what if this happens again?
- Believe me.
I'll close my eyes, now,
are you ready to go?
- Go where?
- The picnic.
The family picnic at King's Park.
Your mom's birthday.
- Today?
Oh
That's why she was in such a bad mood.
- Didn't you get her a present?
- No.
- A card?
- No.
- Breakfast in bed?
- No!
- Brett how could you!
- I just forgot all right!
- Your own mother.
She would never forget your birthday.
- I'll just pop out and get her something.
- No!
It's too late now.
You've had the whole day
what have you been doing?
- Surfing.
- Surfing?
You are so selfish.
- I am not.
- Yes you are!
First sound of a wave and you're off,
nevermind anybody else.
- That's not true!
- How could you Brett?
I mean Jackie's the
best, if she was my mom--
- Well she's not is she?
All right, she's mine so,
so go and get your own.
(dramatic music)
- Hannah.
Hannah!
- Hannah!
Hannah, have you seen my robot?
- I don't know Cormac.
What does it look like?
- Well it's a bit like a bug.
It has two antennae on
its head and camera eyes.
- No, sorry.
- Are you sure?
It was following you to the showers.
- What?
- Well actually, Martin,
Martin was making it
follow you to the showers.
- That whirring noise.
- Yes that was it
but then there was a big flash of light,
and then everything went black and--
- I don't know where it could be Cormac.
Maybe you should check the showers.
- Okay, thanks.
(suspenseful music)
- Bernadette you didn't see a
robot in the showers did you?
- No.
- Okay, well I'll just take
a quick look for it then.
(screaming)
Stop!
- Hey Brett, your mommy
wants you upstairs.
- Go away!
- What's wrong you?
You didn't forget somethin' did ya?
Like your mom's birthday?
She absolutely loved my present.
- Okay, I feel bad about it Wayne.
Can't you just leave me to die in peace?
- Sorry.
Your mom gets to kill you this time.
She wants you upstairs
for the picnic right away.
(dramatic music)
(screaming)
- [Robot] Target engaged.
Tracking commenced.
(beeping)
- Oh no.
(screaming)
- What are you doing in here?
- Looking for your robot.
I think it's outside maybe
you should check the grounds.
- Look, something's come through.
This does not look like the school.
(beeping)
It's not responding, it
must be out of range.
- Really, well, too bad.
- Not a problem!
I'll patch into the school satellite link
and locate the robot's transponder signal.
- What'll that do?
- Means I can find it anywhere.
Even if it's on the
other side of the planet.
- I'll see you later Cormac.
(whooshing)
- Make way, dead man walking.
- Mom?
- It's okay Brett, I don't really
need a reminder of how old I am.
- This is from--
- You sneaky thing!
I knew you wouldn't forget!
- Oh!
Brett, they're perfect.
- Happy birthday mom.
- They're beautiful!
- I just love them, I
just have to try them on.
- Nice one Brett.
You had me worried there for a minute.
- Me too.
- Right.
Let's get this picnic happening.
We're gonna make this
Jackie's best birthday ever!
Right kids?
- Right!
- All right.
- All right.
(robot beeping)
- [Jackie] Boys, not too heavy?
- [Brett] Nah.
- [Wayne] Nah, oh!
- Anybody seen my camera case?
Ah, there it is.
Ah, that too.
Hey Meredith, can you
pick up that blanket?
And what's with all the books?
- I have to have something
to read in the car dad.
(robot beeping)
- [Robot] Target engaged.
Tracking commenced.
(whirring)
(dramatic music)
(robot beeping)
(dramatic music)
(robot beeping)
(dramatic music)
(robot beeping and whirring)
(dramatic music)
- Hey where'd you come from?
(robot beeping)
- QT?
Is that your name?
(robot beeping)
Oh you are kinda cute.
(robot beeping)
- Come on Meredith.
- I have to go, you go home okay?
(robot beeping)
Go on, go home.
(robot beeping)
- Get in the car Wayne.
(robot beeping)
(robot beeping)
(dramatic music)
- Brett!
(dramatic music)
Brett!
Wait!
(dramatic music)
- Wherever you are, I will find you.
(dramatic music)
- Hey brainiac!
Your dumb machine just
ruined my best pair of shoes!
- [Robot] Satellite tracking in progress.
- Yes!
Won't be long now.
- Got that stupid thing working again?
- Of course, it's a pity
your dad isn't interested
because when my stupid
thing goes into production
the investors will get a
hundred times their money back.
- A hundred?
- Oh, at least maybe ten times that!
- Okay, hold on, I'm
sure we can do a deal.
I'll forget about my shoes if
you make me partner, 70, 30.
- Well who gets the 70?
- All right, 50, 50.
And I'll take it to my dad.
(whooshing)
(dramatic music)
- A toast, to the birthday girl.
To Jackie, who ages like fine wine.
(cups clinking)
- Cheers.
- Aww, I'd just like
to thank you all again
for the presents, for the china set,
the mug tree, the "Think
Yourself Young" book,
and I don't know where you found these
but they're simply beautiful.
- So how'd you afford them?
I mean you blew all your money last week
on those board shorts.
Are you getting more pocket money than me?
- No.
- Is he?
- No Wayne.
- Okay, family birthday photo, come on!
- Good idea, everybody up.
(robot beeping)
- QT has acquired another target.
- And then what?
- It looks at it.
- That's it?
How do we make any money?
- Well, how much would you
pay to look at a real alien?
- Point taken, keep tracking, Corm.
(whooshing)
- Okay, now, all get in it closer.
- Jackie's giving you extra
pocket money isn't she?
- No.
- Well then how'd you
get those earrings then?
Did you steal 'em?
- No they were paid for.
- But where?
- A shop.
- What shop?
- The shopping center all right!
The one, the one with the shops!
- Listen here you little--
(robot beeping)
- QT!
Oh, you followed me!
(beeping)
- Martin!
What are you doing in Cormac's room?
- He's watching the mysteries
of the universe unfold.
- [Martin] Yeah.
- Looks like a bad home video to me.
- This is a serious piece
of exploratory equipment.
- You sure?
- And it's gonna make me rich.
- Us rich.
- Yeah, right.
- Really?
But who are those people?
(beeping)
Well the picture's not very good.
- We know!
- Okay, okay.
I'll leave you to your boy toys.
(screaming)
(computer static)
- Oh, Tara!
- It's not my fault you've
got wires running everywhere!
- Quick, plug it in!
- Well I'll have to fix it first.
- Honestly, Tara!
- Don't blame me!
I could have been electrocuted!
This place should be shut
down, it's a health hazard!
(whooshing)
- Oh look at him, isn't he cute?
- Get your stupid toy away from me.
- Brett!
- He's not stupid he's a
very intelligent robot.
- Now everyone just hold
that, hold your positions.
I just gotta make a few adjustments.
- Yeah okay, so how did she afford that?
- Hang on, hang on, just wait, just wait.
- [Wayne] Is she getting more
pocket money than me as well?
- Course not.
- How much do you get?
How much?
- Well not as much as you.
- Oh yeah right, daddy's little girl
gets whatever she wants.
- Don't be silly.
- Oh so I'm being silly now am I?
Yeah well how silly is this?
- Wayne come back.
- Well actually, that was quite silly.
- Did you just see what you're
stupid little toy just did?
- Brett.
- He's not mine.
Oh I think he's lost.
Oh you poor little thing are you lost?
- It's a pity that you're not!
- Well fine!
- Meredith.
- Brett!
- Okay everyone say cheese!
- Cheese.
(whooshing)
(dramatic music)
- Mom and Craig really
want the family photo,
all right, would you please come back?
- Some people are more a part
of his family than others.
- Wayne, Meredith and I are not getting
any more pocket money than you are.
- Okay then, so how
did she get that robot?
And how did you buy her those earrings?
(dramatic music)
- I got the money collecting dog poo.
- What?
- Yeah if you get it off the beach
the Rangers will give you money for it.
It saves them cleaning it up.
- No kidding.
With all dogs here today,
I could make a fortune.
- But it's only at the beach.
- So what?
Throw in a bit of sand the ranger
won't know the difference.
- Yeah well what about the photo?
(whooshing)
- Can't you work any faster?
- It's done.
- At last.
(whirring)
I can't see anything.
- We have to start the
tracking all over again.
- [Robot] Satellite tracking in progress.
- [Martin] Something's coming up
- [Cormac] What is it?
- I dunno, it looks like dog poo.
(robot beeping)
- Mine!
Dogs start to strain,
cause here comes Wayne.
- Something's very wrong
with the boys in this family.
(robot beeping
Do you think it's hormonal?
(dramatic music)
- Meredith, mom wants
us back for the photo.
Okay look I'm sorry I got mad at you.
- I accept your apology.
- Great come on let's go.
- QT on the other hand
- What?
You want me to apologize to that?
- Robots need closure too.
- This is so lame.
(whooshing)
- How are we gonna get the robot back?
- Well I have to find
out where it is first.
- Who's that?
- [Cormac] I don't know.
- I'm very sorry.
(crashing)
Hannah what are you
(robot beeping)
Look, I'm really sorry about the earrings.
And then there was the mom thing and
(robot whirring)
What are you doing?
- Looking for the off button.
- Is QT yours?
- Well, he belongs to a
friend of mine Meredith.
Cormac.
See, he lost him at the
beach this morning Meredith
and he's been tracking him
from his room ever since.
(dramatic music)
- Cormac loves QT Meredith.
He'll be really glad to know
that you took such good care of him.
(dramatic music)
- Oh, Hannah!
I'm so glad you could make it!
Look at the beautiful
earrings Brett got me!
- Mom I probably should tell you
but I didn't actually
get you those earrings.
It was Hannah.
- I helped him choose them
is what he meant to say.
- Well that just makes
them all the more special.
We were just about to go home
but you've gotta be in the photo first.
Oh hang on, where's Wayne?
(dogs barking)
- Whatchu got there mate?
- Hot steaming piles of cash dad.
- Okay!
Let's do it!
Hey, birthday hug for the birthday girl!
(laughing)
(yelling)
(camera clicks)
(whooshing)
- [Cormac] Nearly there.
- When you find this thing
you need to put it on a leash.
(whooshing)
(calming music)
- Hannah I owe you big time.
- Yeah.
You do.
You owe me for those earrings as well.
- Yeah about that I didn't mean to take,
I didn't mean what I said about
I didn't
- Brett, it's okay.
- I just want you to know that
I didn't mean what I said.
About your mom I mean.
- It's forgotten, don't worry.
- Well look anytime you wanna
borrow my mom it's fine by me.
Here.
- Thanks.
Well I better go back to Cormac
before he finds out his little buddy here
is on holidays in Australia.
- Yep.
And you don't wanna be
around when Wayne finds out
beach rangers don't exchange poo for cash.
- [Wayne] Brett!
(whooshing)
- [Robot] Satellite tracking in progress.
Tracking completed, target located.
Tracking completed, target located.
- Australia.
- How did it get there?
- I'm outta here, thanks for the photo.
(beeping)
- Now it's in Ireland!
- This is hopeless Cormac.
- What about our partnership,
the Irish space program.
- There is no Irish space program!
We don't have a partnership!
Not now!
Not ever!
And you owe me a new pair of shoes!
(dramatic music)
(robot beeping)
- [Robot] Target engaged.
Tracking commenced.
(dramatic music)
- Hi Cormac, any luck finding your robot?
- It seems to be in Martin's room.
- Martin's room?
- Oh no, no, I wouldn't
look if I were you.
- Well, I--
- No no, no Hannah
it's a pretty horrible sight!
(dramatic music)
(robot beeping)
(dramatic music)
- I'll kill you Cormac!
(upbeat music)