Freaks and Geeks s01e18 Episode Script
Noshing and Moshing
[FOXY'SHOT NUMBERPLAYS.]
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
THIS IS SO STUPID.
NO, THIS IS NOT STUPID.
THIS IS A TRADITION.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHEN THE HEAT IS ON, EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY'RE IN THE MOOD TO BE A HOT NUMBER DISCO SUCKS! OHMYGOD.
LIVIN' IN THE PAST, 'BOUMY REPUTATION IT'S A NEWENERATION DAMN GO AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND THAT'S WHA I'M GOA DO AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME WHAH! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME ME, ME, ME, ME I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY REPUTATION I'VE NEVER BEEN AFRAID OF ANY DEVIATION AND I D'T REALLY CARE IF YOU THINK I'M STRANGE I AIN'T GONNA CHANGE AND I NEVER GONNA CARE 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION OT ME! CAN'T WAIT TO GE THE NEW YEARBOOK.
I'M ONLY GONNA LET GIRLS SIGN IT, 'CAUSE THAT WAY, WHEN I HAVE KIDS, THEY'LL THINK I WAS A BIG STUD.
I BET WE'LL FIND OU SOME GIRLS HAVE CRUSHES ON US.
"DEAR SAM, I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE SEPTEMBER.
TRUE LOVE ALWAYS" NO, THEY ALWAYS WRITE THE SAME THING.
"NEAL, YOU'RE A WILD AND CRAZY GUY.
" NEVER A WILD AND SEXY GUY.
[CHUCKLES.]
Jocks: GEEK CLEAN-OUT! YEAH! Neal: HEY, THANKS A LOT, GUYS! REAL MATURE! I HATE WHEN THEY DO THIS! I MEAN, WHY DO JOCKS THINK IT'S SO FUNNY? THEY THINK CLEAN-OUTS ARE FUNNY.
THEY THINK WEDGIES ARE FUNNY.
THEY THINK SWIRLIES ARE FUNNY.
WHERE DO THEY FIND TIME TO PLAY SPORTS? I'M SICK OF BEING CALLED A GEEK.
I MEAN, WHAT'S SO GEEKY ABOUT US, ANYWAYS? WE'RE JUST GUYS.
Harris: GENTLEMEN, GOOD NEWS.
NEW DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HANDBOOK-- DEITIES & DEMIGODS.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN FRIDAY NIGHT.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
ARE YOU GUYS COMING TO THE DISCO ON FRIDAY NIGHT? WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? WELL, BECAUSE NICK IS ENTERING THE DANCE CONTEST.
WOW, REALLY, NICK? YEAH, I GUESS SO.
ALL RIGHT, UH WE BETTER GET GOING, 'CAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE REVIEWING FOR FINALS AND STUFF.
OH, YEAH, FINALS.
WHO CARES, RIGHT? RIGHT.
DAVE FLEURY, I HOPE YOU'VE STUDIED.
YEAH.
SO, ARE YOU LIKE P AYING DAVE FLEURY TO HELP YOU CHEAT, OR SOMETHING? UH, YEAH, BUT, UM, DON'T TELL ANYBODY.
OH, NO! I'D NEVER DO THAT.
OK, WELLWE'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS GOING ON? OH, THAT IS SO SAD.
I DON'T KNOW.
SARA'S COOL.
I'LL BET HE'S PROBABLY HOPING THAT YOU GET JEALOUS.
OH, HEY, YOU GUYS.
SORRY ABOUT THE SMOKE.
THESE THINGS ARE GONNA KILL ME.
I KNOW I MIGHT LOOK COOL WITH A CIGARETTE IN MY HAND, BUT, REMEMBER, IT'S JUST A CRUTCH.
DON'T FORGET THAT, GOT IT? All: YES, MR.
FLECK.
HOW'S TRICKS? WE GOT CLEANED OUT.
JOCKS? YEAH, WHO ELSE? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOU THE JOCKS.
TAKE A SEAT, FELLAS.
WATCH MY HAND.
THIS IS A GRAPH OF THEIR LIVES.
OOH, I'M IN PEE WEE FOOTBALL! I'M PRETTY GOOD.
WHAT? I CAN BE FIRST STRING ON A HIGH SCHOOL TEAM AND GET TO WEAR A JACKET WITH LEATHER SLEEVES? NOW, R HOORAY! IGHT THERE, WHERE THEY CLEANED YOU OUT-- THAT'S THE PINNACLE OF THEIR LIVES.
HEY, I WAN TO PLAY COLLEGE BALL.
WHAT? MY GPAs AREN'T HIGH ENOUGH TO GET A SPORTS SCHOLARSHIP? OW, I JUST BLEW MY KNEE OU DURING PRACTICE.
OOPS, I'M OUT OF SCHOOL AND SELLING USED CARS.
WHAT? I'M FIRED? HAND ME THA BOTTLE OF BOOZE, MAN.
NOW, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR LIVES, SHALL WE? YOU GET CALLED GEEKS, YOU GET CLEANED OUT, GIRLS DON'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER.
HOLD ON, COOL BREEZE, IT GETS BETTER.
WHAT? I'M ACCEPTED AT AN IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE? HEY, CHICKS DIG SMART GUYS! WHO KNEW? WHOA, LOOK AT ME.
M HEAD OF A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY.
AN YES, MR.
JOCK-WHO-CLEANED-ME-OUT, IWILLHAVE FRIES WITH THAT.
BUT, WAIT! NO, BUT THAT'S LIKE A LONG TIME FROM NOW.
WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS FOR ANOTHER 3 YEARS.
THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO ENJOY THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF LIFE.
A 16-MILLIMETER PRIN OFMONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL? YEP.
GUYS AT A.
V.
A LINCOLN GOT IT ON LOAN FROM THE AIR FORCE BASE, SO I TRADETHEM A COPY OFHEMO THE MAGNIFICENT.
IT'S OURS FOR A WEEK.
A.
V.
IS PARADISE ON EARTH.
I'M SO HAPPY, I THINK I'M GONNA CRY.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS, COME ON, SETTLE DOWN.
IT'S TEST TIME.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
IF YOU PASS, YOU FLY.
IF YOU FAIL, YOU GET TO LOOK AT MY PRETTY FACE AGAIN NEXT YEAR.
HEY.
WHERE'S DAVE FLEURY? HE'S NEVER LATE.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR? BROKE HIS ARM IN GYM THIS MORNING.
HE FELL OFF THE ROPES AND MISSED THE MAT.
IT WAS HILARIOUS.
HEY! BETTER BE A FIRE, BRO.
THINK YOU'RE PRETTY COOL, DON'T YOU, MR.
DESARIO? NO, I DON' THINK I'M COOL.
YEAH? YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE THE FONZ OR SOMETHING? IF A JUKEBOX WAS BROKEN, THINK YOU COULD HIT I AND IT'D START PLAYING? I FEEL LIKE WE'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE, DANIEL.
I'M A NICE GUY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHEN I STOP BEING NICE? WHEN PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGEAND THAT'S OF MY NICEWHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING.
SO GUESS WHAT? I'M NOT GONNA BE NICE RIGHT NOW.
DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES? OK, COOL GUY.
I' GOT A REAL COOL WAY FOR YOU TO SPEND THE RES OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.
YOU'RE NOW IN A.
V.
CONGRATULATIONS.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMEN THAT IS GOING TO MAKE SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM VERY, VERY HAPPY.
YOU'RE QUITTING? [CLASS TITTERS.]
NO, MS.
KELLY.
EVERY YEAR, THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN PICKS FROM THE TOP 1% OF THE STUDENTS IN THE STATE TO TAKE PART IN AN ACADEMIC SUMMIT, AND IT SEEMS THA OUR VERY OWN LINDSAY WEIR HAS BEEN SELECTED.
WHAT'S AN ACADEMIC SUMMIT? 2 GLORIOUS WEEKS AT THE U.
OF M.
CAMPUS, READING, DEBATING, MATCHING WITS WITH THE BEST AND BRIGHTES STUDENTS IN MICHIGAN.
YOU'LL BE RANKED DAILY.
THERE'LL BE COMPETITIONS AND RIVALRIES AND-- OH, YOU ARE ONE LUCKY GIRL! WELL? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT? UM I'M ONE LUCKY GIRL? SEE, HERE'S THWEIRD THING.
OK? USUALLY STUDENTS ARE HAPPY ABOUT BEING SELECTED TO ATTEND THE ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
HOW CAN I BE IN THE TOP 1%? I DON'T STUDY THAT MUCH.
I MEAN, ARE THE KIDS IN MICHIGAN SCHOOLS THAT STUPID? NO.
YOU'RE JUSTHAT SMART.
[SIGHS.]
MAYBE YOU'REIRED AND BROKEN.
YOUR TONGUE IS TWISTED WITH WORDS HALF-SPOKEN AND THOUGHTS UNCLEAR.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? HROUGH.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT? D.
I KNOW IT ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
NOT THE WHO.
HA HA.
THE GRATEFUL DEAD.
WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE, BACK IN THE EARLY 1700s, I PUT THEIR ALBUM AMERICAN BEAUTYON WHENEVER I WAS STRESSING OUT.
IT ALWAYS HELPED.
YOU KNOW WHAT? .
PUT IT ON WHILE YOU'RE STUDYING FOR FINALS, AND SOON YOU'LL BE RARIN' TO GO TO THA ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
I GOT KINDA WOOZY WHEN I HAD TO SHOW THAT GIRLS' TIME OF THE MONTH FILM.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN LET ME INTO THE CLASS TO SHOW THAT ONE.
THEY SAID THE GIRLS WOULD BE TOO EMBARRASSED.
I HEARD THAT'S BECAUSE YOU COULD SEE A GIRL'S BOOBS IN IT.
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, LOOKS LIKE OUR HAPPY LITTLE A.
V.
FAMILY IS ABOUT TO GET A NEW ADDITION.
DANIEL DESARIO IS GOING TO BE JOINING US HERE FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
WHY? WELL, I GUESS HE WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE, AND MR.
ROSSO THOUGH THAT A STAY IN A.
V.
MIGHT BE A GOOD ATTITUDE ADJUSTMEN FOR HIM.
WAIT A MINUTE.
HE'S PUTTING HIM IN A.
V.
AS PUNISHMENT? [2 KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.
HERE HE IS.
WELCOME TO THE AUDIO-VISUAL DEPARTMENT, MR.
DESARIO.
THANK YOU.
HEY, DANIEL, HOW'S IT GOING? FINE.
HEY, DANIEL, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX A PROJECTOR? NO.
WE CAN TEACH YA.
GREAT.
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
DANIEL'S GONNA RUIN THE ONLY PLACE WE LIKE IN SCHOOL.
YEAH, WHY DID MR.
ROSSO DO THIS TO US? I BET THAT DANIEL GUY IS HIGH ON DRUGS, AND IF WE MAKE HIM ANGRY, HE'LL FREAK OUT AND WRECK THE A.
V.
ROOM.
OH, NO! NO, HE WON'T.
HE'S NOT A BAD GUY.
I MEAN, HE'S FRIENDS WITH MY SISTER.
I'VE TALKED TO HIM.
Neal: SAM, HE GAVE YOU A PORNO.
I WOULDN'T EXACTLY SAY YOU HAVE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
UM, NONE OF US REALLY KNOW HIM THAT WELL, NEAL.
ALL I KNOW IS, WHAT WE'VE GOTTA DO IS GET HIM TOHOW MOVIES EVERY DAY.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET RID OF HIM.
AGREED? AGREED.
LINDSAY, I UNDERSTAND CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER.
WELCOME TO THE 1% CLUB.
I WAS ONE BACK IN 1956.
LOOK WHAT IT DID FOR ME! THANK YOU.
OOH! OH, MY GOD! I AM SO SORRY! THAT WAS MY FAULT.
THAT WAS ME.
I'M THE CLUMSY CLOD.
HEY,AMERICAN BEAUTY.
THAT IS A GREAT ALBUM, MAN.
OH.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'VE HEARD.
ARE YOU A DEADHEAD? UMNO.
I--SOMEONE JUST GAVE IT TO ME TO LISTEN TO.
OH, WELL, IF YOU NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE, YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT, 'CAUSE IT'S LIKE THE BES ALBUM OF ALL TIME.
REALLY? Girl: YEAH.
IS IT THAT GREAT? I WISH I'D NEVER HEARD IT, JUST SO I COULD HEAR IT AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME.
THIS IS SUCH A COOL VEST, KENNY.
WHY DON' KENNY? T YOU COME OVER TO NICK'S AFTER SCHOOL? WE'RE GONNA GO OVER SOME NEW DANCE MOVES.
I DON'T THINK SO.
UH, KEN DOESN' REALLY LIKE TO DANCE.
OH, WELL, KENNY, THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW.
NOW, I TAUGHT NICK HOW TO DO THE HUSTLE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'LL PROBABLY LEARN EVEN FASTER THAN THAT, BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE BOTH OF US TEACHING YOU AT THE SAME TIME.
UMNO? OK.
YOUR LOSS.
UM, DO YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING? I'M GONNA GO GET SOME MORE MILK.
NO, I'M OK.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BABY.
I'LL BE HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
I GIVE UP, NICK.
WHEN DOES ALAN FUN COME BOOGIEING OUT? YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT COOL, MAN.
COME ON.
THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND, MAN.
DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU USED TO HATE DISCO? LOOK, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ZEPPELIN AND DISCO, REALLY? NO, LISTEN, THEY BOTH HAVE HEAVY DRUMS AND THEY HAVE BASS.
HAVE YOU HEARD THAT FOXY SONG, HOT NUMBER? IT ROCKS, MAN.
NO! I DON'T KNOW THAT SONG, THANK GOD.
BUT I CAN GUARANTEE IT SUCKS.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS, MAN? YOU SUCK.
NO, I'VE BEEN TRYING REALLY HARD TO GET A DECENT GIRLFRIEND FOR A LONG TIME.
AND NOW I'VE GOT ONE, AND YOU'RE BEING A REAL JERK.
NICK, YOU ARE ONLY GOING OUT WITH SARA TO MAKE LINDSAY JEALOUS, AND IT ISN'T WORKING.
ADMIT IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW YOU, MAN.
THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT.
WHAT'S THA ALL ABOUT? LINDSAY, CAN YOU PLEASE START GOING OU WITH NICK AGAIN? I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS.
[GRATEFUL DEAD'S BOX OF RAINPLAYING.]
LOOK OUT OF ANY WINDOW ANY MORNING, ANY EVENING ANY DAY MAYBE THE SUN IS SHINING OR RAIN IS FALLING FROM A HEAVY SKY WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? TO DO FOR YOU TO SEE YOU THROUGH? FOR THIS IS ALL A DREAM WE DREAMED ONE AFTERNOON LONG AGO OUR DAUGHTER IN THE TOP 1%.
LIKE MY GRANDPA USED TO SAY, IF I WAS WEARING MY VEST, ALL THE BUTTONS WOULD POP.
HERE I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE APPLYING YOURSELF, AND NOW LOOK.
YOU MUST BE ABSOLUTELY THRILLED.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF I WANT TO GO.
WHAT'S THE POINT? [LAUGHS.]
WACKY? CAN IT! YOU'RE GOING TO THAT SUMMIT, LINDSAY.
THIS ISN'T EVEN OPEN FOR DEBATE.
DAD, I DIDN'T SAY I WASN'T GONNA GO.
JU SOUNDS KINDADUMB.
DUMB? SPEND 2 WEEKS WITH THE INTELLECTUAL ELITE OF YOUR PEERS? OH, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY DUMB.
HONEY, THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU'LL MEET.
YEAH, MOM, I KNOW.
IT'S JUST-- Haro ld: IT'S JUST NOTHING! THIS IS YOUR KEY TO THE BEST SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD HARVAR YALE, PRINCETON.
DON'T BLOW THIS, LINDSAY.
DAD, I DIDN'T SAY I WASN'T GONNA GO.
CAN' GOD.
T WE HAVE A NORMAL DISCUSSION ABOUT SOMETHING? WHEN IT COMES TO SOMETHING LIKE THISNO.
WELL, EVERYONE, LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING, AND THAT'S THA TODAY IS MOVIE DAY.
BUT JUST SO THA WE DON'T COMPLETELY WASTE TIME, WE'LL BE WATCHING THE 1968 FRANCO ZEFFIRELLI VERSION OFROMEO AND JULIET.
IF ONE OF OUR ASTUTE MEMBERS OF THE A.
V.
SQUAD WOULD GET HIS BUTT IN HERE, WE'D BE ABLE TO GE THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.
[2 KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
HI, I'M HERE TO SHOW YOUR MOVIE.
I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
I WAS STARTING TO THINK I'D HAVE TO ACT OU THE FILM MYSELF.
OH.
WHERE WAS I? YES.
THIS VERSION OF [FAKE COUGHS.]
GEEK! AH! UH THIS VERSION OFROMEO AND JULIE IS UNIQUE IN THA IT IS THE FIRST TIME THAT A FILM HAD CHOSEN TO LE TEENAGE ACTORS PLAY-- [CRASH.]
DO YOU NEED A HAND, SIR? NO, I THINK I GOT IT.
IN HE VERSION BEFORE MR.
ZEFFIRELLI'S MASTERPIECE, THE ROLES WERE PLAYED BY ACTORS WELL INTO THEIR 30s, WHICH CAUSED IT TO HAVE AN ARTIFICIAL FEEL.
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP MR.
DeMILLE SET UP THE PROJECTOR? ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT.
ANY CHANCE OF BEING READY IN THE NEAR FUTURE? YEAH, JUST ONE SECOND, ALL RIGHT? OK.
READY.
READY.
SAINTS BE PRAISED.
[PROJECTOR FEEDS NOISILY.]
[BANGS ON PROJECTOR.]
INSTEAD OF HITTING IT, COULD YOU PLEASE JUST MAKE THE FILM LOOP A LITTLE BIGGER? WHAT? MAKE THE FILM LOOP BIGGER.
THANKS.
SO YOU GUYS JUST DRIVE AROUND AND FOLLOW THE DEAD EVERYWHERE? YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
YOU MEET A LO OF REALLY COOL PEOPLE.
WELL, ARE THE CONCERTS THAT DIFFERENT? YEAH, IT'S LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE EVER EXPERIENCED.
THIS ONE TIME, WE WERE IN NEW JERSEY, AND IT STARTED RAINING RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW.
SUDDENLY EVERYBODY GOES RUNNING DOWN TO THE PIT, AND THEY STAR DANCING IN THE MUD.
AND THEN THE SUN COMES OUT, AND THERE'S THIS RAINBOW RIGHT OVER THE STAGE.
I STARTED CRYING.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
REALLY WHAT IT'S ALL ABOU IS BEING TOGETHER AND HAVING A GOOD TIME, AS ONE.
JUDGING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
THAT'S NOT WHA THE DEAD ARE ABOUT.
IT'S ALL ABOU BEING CONNECTED AND BEING FREE.
NOTHING--NOTHING IS BETTER, I'M TELLING YOU.
YEAH, IT SOUNDS WILD.
WE'RE GOING DOWN TO TEXAS WHEN SCHOOL'S OUT.
WE'RE GONNA FOLLOW THE TOUR UP TO COLORADO.
9 SHOWS IN A WEEK AND A HALF.
I CAN'T WAIT.
WOW.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS SUMMER? OH, I GOT INTO THIS ACADEMIC SUMMIT THING AT U.
OF M.
IT'S KINDA GOOFY.
[GIGGLES.]
HEY, MAN, YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.
Girl: YEAH.
[GIGGLES.]
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GO TO A.
V.
AGAIN TODAY.
IT'S SO STUPID.
WELL, YOU KNOW, DANIEL, NOBODY ASKED YOU TO PULL THE FIRE ALARM.
OH, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, FLUNK THE TEST? I SUCK AT MATH.
I SUCK AT EVERYTHING.
WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, DANIEL? I DON'T KNOW, KIM.
YOU KNOW, I AM ALWAYS LISTENING TO YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT, DANIEL? WHY DON'T YOU GO TELL I TO THE FIRE ALARM? THANKS! GUYS, I WANT MY NEW DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CHARACTER TO BE CALLED GORTHON.
WHY GORTHON? 'CAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL.
I'M GORTHON THE THIEF.
SURRENDER YOUR JEWELS, PRINCESS! OH, BILL, DON' BE A THIEF AGAIN! YOU ALWAYS FALL DOWN A WELL TRYING TO STEAL STUFF.
UH, SORRY, KRAGENMORE THE DESTROYER.
SO, SAM, WILL LOGAN THE HUGE BE MAKING AN APPEARANCE? I TOLD YOU, I DON' WANT TO PLAY.
WHAT, YOU'RE TOO COOL FOR US NOW THAT YOU BROKE UP WITH CINDY? NO.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST-- IT'S A GEEKY GAME.
I MEAN, WHAT'S THE POINT? THE POINT IS, YOU USED TO LIKE IT.
I LEFT MY SCIENCE BOOK IN THE A.
V.
ROOM.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
[CLATTER.]
SEE YOU LATER.
HEY! HEY.
WHAT'S EATING YOU? HUH? NOTHING.
I JUST WISH I DIDN'T GET INTO THAT ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
JUST FEELS LIKE I'M GOING BACK INTO SCHOOL AGAIN.
LIFE'S TOUGH.
WHAT'S THA SUPPOSED TO MEAN? IT MEANS YOU'VE BEEN MOPING AROUND EVER SINCE YOU FOUND OU YOU GOT INTO THAT STUPID THING.
AT LEAST YOU GET TO GET OU OF THIS TOWN FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
KIM, IT'S SUMMER VACATION.
YOU CAN GO OUT OF TOWN, TOO.
YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT.
NO, I CAN'T, LINDSAY.
I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
AND BESIDES, DANIEL NEVER WANTS TO GO ANYWHERE, ANYWAY.
SO? GO WITHOUT HIM.
YOU DON' HAVE TO STAY HERE.
YOU KNOW THAT, KIM.
THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, LINDSAY, 'CAUSE YOU GET TO LEAVE.
I DON'T.
[DYNASTY'SI DON' WANT TO BE A FREAKPLAYS.]
COME ON, NICK, YOU PROMISED ME.
I KNOW.
I'M JUS KINDA FREAKED OU ABOUT IT.
I'M NOT THA GOOD AT CONTESTS.
NICK, YOU ARE A GREAT DANCER.
OK? YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
AND I SWEAR, I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT.
THANKS.
IT'S WEIRD.
I USED TO HATE DISCO.
BUT I GUESS MAYBE I WAS JUST DESTINED FOR IT.
YEAH! TOTALLY.
SOMETIMES YOU END UP BEING THE BES AT SOMETHING YOU HATE.
MM-HMM.
SHE HATE LIKE LINDSAY.
S MATH, BUT SHE'S THE HEAD OF THE MATHLETES.
NICK, DO YOU STILL LIKE LINDSAY? NO, NO.
I MEAN, I STILL CARE ABOUT HER.
LOOK, I REALLY LIKE YOU, SARA.
I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU SINCE THE SIXTH GRADE.
REALLY? I ALWAYS SAT BEHIND YOU, EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE SO TALL I COULDN' SEE THE BOARD.
WOW.
I JUST--I CAN' BELIEVE THAT YOU LIKE ME.
OH TONIGHT'S D&D CAMPAIGN IS GONNA BE THE BEST EVER.
2 WORDS: ANCIENT BABYLONIA.
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE DRAWING OF THE GODDESS ISHTAR? HUBBA HUBBA! YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THE GODDESS OF VICE.
I JUST H YOU CAN SEE HER BUTT.
OPE YOU GUYS ARE READY TO FACE THE DANCING SWORD.
Neal: BRING IT ON! WHAT'S A DANCING SWORD? WELL, IT LIKE-- IT'S A SWORD THAT CAN FIGH WITHOUT YOU HOLDING IT.
WHAT, YOU JUS SEND YOUR SWORD INTO BATTLE FOR YOU, AND THEN YOU STAY HOME? THAT'S KIND OF STUPID.
NO, NO, YOU HAVE TO BE AT LEAST 3 INCHES AWAY FROM I WHEN IT'S FIGHTING.
THAT WAY YOU CAN FIGHT 2 PEOPLE AT ONCE.
THAT'S KINDA COOL.
HEY, DANIEL.
WE'RE PLAYING D&D TONIGHT.
YOU WANNA COME? WHY? I THINK YOU'D LIKE IT.
WE COULD SHOW YOU HOW TO PLAY.
I COULDN'T DO THAT.
YEAH, YOU WOULDN' LIKE IT, ANYWAY.
IT'S REALLY BORING.
NO.
NO, IT ISN'T, NEAL.
YOU LOVE IT.
WE SIT AROUND AND CRACK JOKES AND EAT JUNK FOOD ALL NIGH WHILE WE'RE FIGHTING DRAGONS AND SAVING PRINCESSES AND STUFF.
IT'S PRETTY FUN.
YOU GE AND THE BEST PART IS, TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEBODY YOU CAN'T BE IN REAL LIFE.
OK, I'LL PLAY.
REALLY? YEAH, I'LL PLAY.
JUSTDON'T EXPECT ME TO BE GOOD AT I OR ANYTHING.
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ANY WORSE THAN BILL.
HEY! SO, SAM, HOW ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU IN? YEAH, I GUESS.
THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO COOL TO PLAY LOGAN THE HUGE.
KEN, NO.
WE SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
JUST LET NICK DO WHAT HE WANTS.
I CAN'T DO THAT.
THE POOR GUY'S BRAINWASHED.
I CAN'T LET HIM DANCE IN THIS STUPID CONTEST.
IT GOES AGAINS EVERYTHING THAT WE STAND FOR.
WELL, I'M NO GONNA STOP HIM.
JUST TALK TO HIM! AT LEAST TELL HIM THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A CHANCE WITH YOU SO HE'LL BREAK UP WITH SARA! NO, IT'S NO GONNA WORK.
LOOK! KENNY AND LINDSAY CAME TO CHEER YOU ON! THAT IS SO COOL! HEY, GUYS! HEY, NICK.
LINDSAY HAS SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO TELL YOU.
NO, I DON'T.
YES, YOU DO! KEN, STOP IT! OH, CHECK IT OUT, KIDS.
IT'S OUR LITTLE OPINIONATED ROCK 'N' ROLLER FRIEND.
WHO THE HELL'S HE TALKIN' ABOUT? I THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOU.
UHSO WHAT DO I DO? FIRST YOU HAVE TO CREATE A CHARACTER.
ROLL YOUR DICE AND FIND OU WHAT YOUR ABILITY SCORES ARE.
WHAT ARE THOSE? OH, WELL, THA TELLS YOU IF YOU'RE STRONG OR SMAR OR HOW GOOD YOU ARE WITH A WEAPON.
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME SUPER-SMART GUY? I DON' HAVE A CHARACTER.
I'M THE DUNGEON MASTER.
I CONTROL THE GAME AND ACT OUT ALL THE CHARACTERS YOU'LL MEET ALONG THE WAY.
AND, DANIEL, WATCH OUT FOR HIM.
HE'S SNEAKY.
YEAH, YEAH, HE THINKS BEING A DUNGEON MASTER GIVES HIM A LICENSE TO MESS WITH OUR HEADS.
OH, I'M SORRY.
PERHAPS I SHOULD LET YOU ENCOUNTER KITTENS AND GRANDMAS SO AS NOT TO UPSET YOU.
COME ON, DANIEL, ROLL THE DICE.
I WANNA SEE WHA YOUR CHARACTER'S GONNA BE.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
HERE GOES NOTHIN'.
HEY, MAN, AREN'T YOU ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO'S ALWAYS YELLIN' IN HERE THAT DISCO SUCKS? WHAT'S THE MATTER? CAT GOT YOUR BONG, MAN? IS THAT HOW YOU LEARNED TO COMMUNICATE, RUNNIN' IN HERE, YELLIN' STUFF? IS THAT WHAT YOUR PRECIOUS ROCK TEACHERS YOU, FRIEND? UMNO, MAN.
IT TEACHES ME THAT DISCO SUCKS! KEN, DON'T, ALL RIGHT? I SAY THAT ROCK 'N' ROLL SUCKS, OK? HEY, HAVE YOU HEARD THE STONES' NEW SONG, MISS YOU? WELL, GUESS WHAT? IT'S DISCO, MAN.
EVEN THE STONES KNOW IT.
THEY'RE WILLING TO ADMIT IT.
WHY CAN'T YOU? THIS PLACE IS EMPTY, MAN! DISCO IS DEAD.
GIVE IT UP! WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO SELLIN'SHIRTS AT THE MALL THERE, BUDDY? ALL RIGHT, PAL.
LET'S GO.
GREAT.
THANKS A LOT, MAN.
DISCO IS ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE, I TELL YOU! I KNOW IT AND YOU KNOW IT AND MISS GLORIA GAYNOR KNOWS IT, TOO! AT FIRST I WAS AFRAID I WAS PETRIFIED [WEAK APPLAUSE.]
KEPT THINKIN' I COULD NEVER LIVE WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE WHERE THE HELL IS DANIEL WHEN YOU NEED HIM? A DWARF? I DON'T WANNA BE A DWARF.
I WANTED TO BE, LIKE, A NINJA OR A FIGHTER.
WELL, DWARFS ARE FIGHTERS.
THEY'RE REALLY GOOD AT IT.
[SIGHS.]
ARE YOU A DWARF? NO.
I'M KRAGENMORE THE DESTROYER.
YOU'RE LUCKY, MAN.
I WANT TO BE SOME HUGE DESTROYER GUY.
DWARFS CAN DO A LO OF THINGS THAT HUGE GUYS CAN'T DO.
IT'S TRUE.
TAKE IT FROM ME.
YEAH, DWARFS ARE REALLY TOUGH.
THEY'RE GOOD A FINDING JEWELS.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I'LL BE A DWARF.
BUT MY NAME IS CARLOS.
[SNICKERS.]
CARLOS THE DWARF? YEAH, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, GORTHON? NO.
THANKS A LOT, MAN.
THANKS FOR EMBARRASSING ME IN THERE.
I GOTTA GO DANCE IN FRONT OF THOSE PEOPLE NOW! BEST OF LUCK, MAN.
I MEAN IT! GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU GET OVER YOUR SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER.
AND YOU'RE TOO TALL TO BE A GOOD DANCER! HEY, I AGREE WITH YOU, MAN.
THAT PLACE SUCKS.
AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
THEY'RE CLOSIN' THE DISCO NEXT WEEK AND BRINGIN' IN FOXY BOXIN'.
YOU SHOULD COME BACK AND CHECK IT OUT.
[SOFTLY.]
ROCK 'N' ROLL! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GIVE ME SUCH A HARD TIME ABOUT THIS? KEN'S JUST CONFUSED.
HE'S THINKS YOU'RE DOING ALL THIS STUFF TOI DON'T KNOW, TO GET ME BACK.
WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HIM, BUT HE DOESN'T WAN TO LISTEN.
I MEAN, I'M WITH SARA NOW.
YOU KNOW? I'M NOT SOME IDIOT.
YOU TOLD ME TO MOVE ON.
AND SO I DID.
YEAH! I KNOW.
I THINK IT'S GREAT.
WELL, IT IS GREAT.
I MEAN, SARA'S THE BEST, YOU KNOW? SHE OPENED ME UP TO ALL SORTS OF NEW THINGS, AND SHE LOVES ME.
I MEAN, THAT'S IMPORTANT.
IT IS.
I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, NICK.
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE, YOU KNOW? I EVEN QUI SMOKING POT.
YEAH.
I DON'T EVEN REALLY WANT I ANYMORE.
IT'S LIKE I TOTALLY CLEANED MYSELF UP.
WOW! REALLY? MM-HMM.
GOD, THAT'S--I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
THAT'S SO GREAT.
YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE HAVING WAY MORE FUN WITH HER THAN YOU EVER DID WITH ME.
YEAH.
I MEAN, I AM.
TTA GET GOING.
I HAVE A LOT OF STUDYING TO DO FOR THAT ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
I SHOULD PROBABLY START STUDYING FOR FINALS.
OH, YEAH.
I SHOULD DO THAT, TOO.
FIRST I GOTTA WIN THIS DANCE CONTEST.
[CHUCKLES.]
HEY, GOOD LUCK.
THANKS.
OK, ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE GONNA SHAKE OUR GROOVE THINGS TONIGHT HERE A FRONTIER LANES.
IT'S TIME FOR THE BIG DISCO CONTEST, AND LET'S BRING UP OUR FIRST CONTESTAN OF THE NIGHT-- THAT'S MR.
NICK ANDOPOLIS! ANDOPOLIS.
[SCANT APPLAUSE.]
NICK.
NICKY.
NICK! COME ON, BABY, IT'S YOUR TURN.
TIME TO BOOGIE OOGIE OOGIE.
[GROOVE LINEPLAYS.]
PACK YOUR GRIP TAKIN' YOU ON A TRIP AIN'T NO SEATS ALL WE GOT'S HANDS AND FEE LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHIND COME RAIN OR SHINE DON'T MIND WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE WHOO-HOO! TONIGH HOO HOO HOO HOO GET THE STRENGTH KNOW YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU CAME HIT THE TRACK PARTY HARD THERE AND BACK LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHIND COME RAIN OR SHINE DON'T MIND WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGH HOO HOO HOO HOO CHECK OU THE WHEELS ARE BURNIN' OOH WHEE OOH YA KNOW WE DON'T STOP WE GO THE BOILER BURNIN' OOH WHEE OOH WE'RE KEEPIN' IT HO SO GRAB YOUR FRIENDS GET TO SAY COMIN' THROUGH CLIMB ON BOARD WHERE YOU LEAVE UP TO YOU LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHI COME RAIN OR SHINE I LOVE YOU, NICK! WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGH HOO HOO O-OK, ALL RIGHT, MR.
ANDOPOLIS.
IT'S TIME TO CLEAR THE FLOOR FOR THE NEXT CONTESTANT.
YES! HOO HOO [APPLAUSE.]
NICK, YOU WERE SO GREAT! OH, MY GOD, YOU ARE GONNA WIN FOR SURE.
ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE YOU TO ALL PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR THE MAGICAL DISCO STYLINGS OF EUGENE.
HOO HOO HOO HOO CHECK OU THE WHEELS ARE BURNIN' OOH WHEE OOH YOU KNOW WE WON'T STOP WE GOT THE BOILER BURNIN' OOH WHOO OOH WE'RE KEEPIN' IT HO SO GRAB YOUR FRIENDS WHAT THE HECK? THEY DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DO MAGIC! WHERE YOU LEAVE'S UP TO YOU LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHIND COME RAIN OR SHINE WOW.
HE'S REALLY GOOD.
WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGH HOO HOO COME RAIN OR SHINE DON'T MIND WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGHT GREETINGS, PRINCESS.
IT IS I, CARLOS THE DWARF.
THE DRAGON HAS BEEN SLAIN, AND YOU'RE FREE TO RULE YOUR KINGDOM.
CONGRATULATIONS, DANIEL.
YOU JUST FINISHED YOUR FIRST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CAMPAIGN.
WHOO! ALL RIGHT! THANKS, GUYS.
HEYTHIS IS REALLY FUN.
YOU GUYS WANNA DO THIS TOMORROW NIGHT? YEAH.
SURE.
I WOULD, BUT HARRIS KILLED ME AGAIN.
YOU HAD IT COMING, BILL.
WELL, KICK HIS ASS TOMORROW NIGHT, BILL.
JUST LEAVE I TO CARLOS.
YEAH.
M GONNA GET ANOTHER DRINK.
YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING? NO.
GORDON, BILL? ALL RIGHT.
WOW, HE'S COOL.
YEAH.
DOESHIM WANTING TO PLAY WITH US AGAIN MEAN THAT HE'S TURNING INTO A GEEK OR WE'RE TURNING INTO COOL GUYS? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I'M GONNA GO FOR US BEING COOL GUYS.
YEAH, I'LL BUY THAT.
YEAH.
DEFINITELY COOL GUYS.
COOL.
OH, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT US TO DRIVE YOU TO U.
OF M.
? WE DON'T MIND.
NO, MOM, IT'S OK.
I'D KINDA LIKE TO DO THIS, YOU KNOW, GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT BEFORE I GET THERE.
OK.
I UNDERSTAND.
OH! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOURSELF A GREAT TIME.
YEAH, YOU GO AND MAKE THE WEIRS PROUD.
BE SMARTER THAN ALL OSE OTHER KIDS.
DAD! HAROLD HAVE A NICE TIME, LINDSAY.
I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
THANKS, SAM.
COME ON.
I'M ONLY GOING FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M GONE.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
SEE YOU.
SEE YOU.
BYE, DAD.
NO, NO, NO! LINDSAY, LINDSAY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! HI.
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
IT'S CHOCOLATES FOR A SWEET TRIP.
YEAH, WE ALWAYS GIVE MY GRANDMA CHOCOLATES WHEN WE PUT HER ON THE BUS.
THAT, AND WE PIN HER NAME AND ADDRESS ON HER JACKE IN CASE SHE GETS LOST.
THANKS, NEAL.
IT'S NICE.
BYE, BILL.
HEY, HE DIDN' GET YOU ANYTHING! OH.
THAT'S JUS FOR COMIN' DOWN.
IT DIDN'T COST ME A CENT.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU.
OK, HONEY, WE'LL SEE YOU.
BYE, LINDSAY.
HEY, MOM.
YES, SWEETIE? I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
OK, HONEY.
OK.
LOVE YOU.
I MISS YOU ALREADY! IF MY WORDS DID GLOW WITH THE COLD WARM OF SUNSHINE AND MY TUNES WERE PLAYED ON THE FARM ON THE STRUM WOULD YOU HEAR MY VOICE COME THROUGH THE MUSIC? WOULD YOU HOLD IT NEAR AS IT GREW YEAR-ROUND? IT'S A HAND ME DOWN BUT THOUGHTS ARE BROKEN PERHAPS THEY'RE BETTER LEFT UNSUNG I DON'T KNOW DON'T REALLY CARE LET THERE BE SONGS TO FILL THE AIR RIPPLES IN STILL WATER WHEN THERE IS NO APPLE TOSS NOR WIND TO BLOW REACH OUT YOUR HAND IF YOUR CUP BE EMPTY IF YOUR CUP IS FULL MAY IT BE AGAIN LET IT BE KNOWN THERE IS A FOUNTAIN THAT WAS NOT MADE BY THE HANDS OF MEN LA DEE DA DA DA LA DA DA DA DA LA DA DA ncicRMANHOUT.
C.
SSIB L
COME ON, YOU GUYS.
THIS IS SO STUPID.
NO, THIS IS NOT STUPID.
THIS IS A TRADITION.
THAT'S RIGHT.
WHEN THE HEAT IS ON, EVERYBODY KNOWS THEY'RE IN THE MOOD TO BE A HOT NUMBER DISCO SUCKS! OHMYGOD.
LIVIN' IN THE PAST, 'BOUMY REPUTATION IT'S A NEWENERATION DAMN GO AND DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND THAT'S WHA I'M GOA DO AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME WHAH! NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NOT ME ME, ME, ME, ME I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY REPUTATION I'VE NEVER BEEN AFRAID OF ANY DEVIATION AND I D'T REALLY CARE IF YOU THINK I'M STRANGE I AIN'T GONNA CHANGE AND I NEVER GONNA CARE 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION OT ME! CAN'T WAIT TO GE THE NEW YEARBOOK.
I'M ONLY GONNA LET GIRLS SIGN IT, 'CAUSE THAT WAY, WHEN I HAVE KIDS, THEY'LL THINK I WAS A BIG STUD.
I BET WE'LL FIND OU SOME GIRLS HAVE CRUSHES ON US.
"DEAR SAM, I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE SEPTEMBER.
TRUE LOVE ALWAYS" NO, THEY ALWAYS WRITE THE SAME THING.
"NEAL, YOU'RE A WILD AND CRAZY GUY.
" NEVER A WILD AND SEXY GUY.
[CHUCKLES.]
Jocks: GEEK CLEAN-OUT! YEAH! Neal: HEY, THANKS A LOT, GUYS! REAL MATURE! I HATE WHEN THEY DO THIS! I MEAN, WHY DO JOCKS THINK IT'S SO FUNNY? THEY THINK CLEAN-OUTS ARE FUNNY.
THEY THINK WEDGIES ARE FUNNY.
THEY THINK SWIRLIES ARE FUNNY.
WHERE DO THEY FIND TIME TO PLAY SPORTS? I'M SICK OF BEING CALLED A GEEK.
I MEAN, WHAT'S SO GEEKY ABOUT US, ANYWAYS? WE'RE JUST GUYS.
Harris: GENTLEMEN, GOOD NEWS.
NEW DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS HANDBOOK-- DEITIES & DEMIGODS.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE FUN FRIDAY NIGHT.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY DREAMWORKS TELEVISION, L.
L.
C.
ARE YOU GUYS COMING TO THE DISCO ON FRIDAY NIGHT? WHY WOULD WE DO THAT? WELL, BECAUSE NICK IS ENTERING THE DANCE CONTEST.
WOW, REALLY, NICK? YEAH, I GUESS SO.
ALL RIGHT, UH WE BETTER GET GOING, 'CAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE REVIEWING FOR FINALS AND STUFF.
OH, YEAH, FINALS.
WHO CARES, RIGHT? RIGHT.
DAVE FLEURY, I HOPE YOU'VE STUDIED.
YEAH.
SO, ARE YOU LIKE P AYING DAVE FLEURY TO HELP YOU CHEAT, OR SOMETHING? UH, YEAH, BUT, UM, DON'T TELL ANYBODY.
OH, NO! I'D NEVER DO THAT.
OK, WELLWE'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD IS GOING ON? OH, THAT IS SO SAD.
I DON'T KNOW.
SARA'S COOL.
I'LL BET HE'S PROBABLY HOPING THAT YOU GET JEALOUS.
OH, HEY, YOU GUYS.
SORRY ABOUT THE SMOKE.
THESE THINGS ARE GONNA KILL ME.
I KNOW I MIGHT LOOK COOL WITH A CIGARETTE IN MY HAND, BUT, REMEMBER, IT'S JUST A CRUTCH.
DON'T FORGET THAT, GOT IT? All: YES, MR.
FLECK.
HOW'S TRICKS? WE GOT CLEANED OUT.
JOCKS? YEAH, WHO ELSE? LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOU THE JOCKS.
TAKE A SEAT, FELLAS.
WATCH MY HAND.
THIS IS A GRAPH OF THEIR LIVES.
OOH, I'M IN PEE WEE FOOTBALL! I'M PRETTY GOOD.
WHAT? I CAN BE FIRST STRING ON A HIGH SCHOOL TEAM AND GET TO WEAR A JACKET WITH LEATHER SLEEVES? NOW, R HOORAY! IGHT THERE, WHERE THEY CLEANED YOU OUT-- THAT'S THE PINNACLE OF THEIR LIVES.
HEY, I WAN TO PLAY COLLEGE BALL.
WHAT? MY GPAs AREN'T HIGH ENOUGH TO GET A SPORTS SCHOLARSHIP? OW, I JUST BLEW MY KNEE OU DURING PRACTICE.
OOPS, I'M OUT OF SCHOOL AND SELLING USED CARS.
WHAT? I'M FIRED? HAND ME THA BOTTLE OF BOOZE, MAN.
NOW, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR LIVES, SHALL WE? YOU GET CALLED GEEKS, YOU GET CLEANED OUT, GIRLS DON'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU.
I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER.
HOLD ON, COOL BREEZE, IT GETS BETTER.
WHAT? I'M ACCEPTED AT AN IVY LEAGUE COLLEGE? HEY, CHICKS DIG SMART GUYS! WHO KNEW? WHOA, LOOK AT ME.
M HEAD OF A FORTUNE 500 COMPANY.
AN YES, MR.
JOCK-WHO-CLEANED-ME-OUT, IWILLHAVE FRIES WITH THAT.
BUT, WAIT! NO, BUT THAT'S LIKE A LONG TIME FROM NOW.
WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS FOR ANOTHER 3 YEARS.
THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO ENJOY THE SIMPLE PLEASURES OF LIFE.
A 16-MILLIMETER PRIN OFMONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL? YEP.
GUYS AT A.
V.
A LINCOLN GOT IT ON LOAN FROM THE AIR FORCE BASE, SO I TRADETHEM A COPY OFHEMO THE MAGNIFICENT.
IT'S OURS FOR A WEEK.
A.
V.
IS PARADISE ON EARTH.
I'M SO HAPPY, I THINK I'M GONNA CRY.
ALL RIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS, COME ON, SETTLE DOWN.
IT'S TEST TIME.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
IF YOU PASS, YOU FLY.
IF YOU FAIL, YOU GET TO LOOK AT MY PRETTY FACE AGAIN NEXT YEAR.
HEY.
WHERE'S DAVE FLEURY? HE'S NEVER LATE.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR? BROKE HIS ARM IN GYM THIS MORNING.
HE FELL OFF THE ROPES AND MISSED THE MAT.
IT WAS HILARIOUS.
HEY! BETTER BE A FIRE, BRO.
THINK YOU'RE PRETTY COOL, DON'T YOU, MR.
DESARIO? NO, I DON' THINK I'M COOL.
YEAH? YOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE THE FONZ OR SOMETHING? IF A JUKEBOX WAS BROKEN, THINK YOU COULD HIT I AND IT'D START PLAYING? I FEEL LIKE WE'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE, DANIEL.
I'M A NICE GUY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHEN I STOP BEING NICE? WHEN PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGEAND THAT'S OF MY NICEWHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING.
SO GUESS WHAT? I'M NOT GONNA BE NICE RIGHT NOW.
DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES? OK, COOL GUY.
I' GOT A REAL COOL WAY FOR YOU TO SPEND THE RES OF THE SCHOOL YEAR.
YOU'RE NOW IN A.
V.
CONGRATULATIONS.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMEN THAT IS GOING TO MAKE SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM VERY, VERY HAPPY.
YOU'RE QUITTING? [CLASS TITTERS.]
NO, MS.
KELLY.
EVERY YEAR, THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN PICKS FROM THE TOP 1% OF THE STUDENTS IN THE STATE TO TAKE PART IN AN ACADEMIC SUMMIT, AND IT SEEMS THA OUR VERY OWN LINDSAY WEIR HAS BEEN SELECTED.
WHAT'S AN ACADEMIC SUMMIT? 2 GLORIOUS WEEKS AT THE U.
OF M.
CAMPUS, READING, DEBATING, MATCHING WITS WITH THE BEST AND BRIGHTES STUDENTS IN MICHIGAN.
YOU'LL BE RANKED DAILY.
THERE'LL BE COMPETITIONS AND RIVALRIES AND-- OH, YOU ARE ONE LUCKY GIRL! WELL? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT? UM I'M ONE LUCKY GIRL? SEE, HERE'S THWEIRD THING.
OK? USUALLY STUDENTS ARE HAPPY ABOUT BEING SELECTED TO ATTEND THE ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
HOW CAN I BE IN THE TOP 1%? I DON'T STUDY THAT MUCH.
I MEAN, ARE THE KIDS IN MICHIGAN SCHOOLS THAT STUPID? NO.
YOU'RE JUSTHAT SMART.
[SIGHS.]
MAYBE YOU'REIRED AND BROKEN.
YOUR TONGUE IS TWISTED WITH WORDS HALF-SPOKEN AND THOUGHTS UNCLEAR.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? HROUGH.
WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT? D.
I KNOW IT ALWAYS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER.
NOT THE WHO.
HA HA.
THE GRATEFUL DEAD.
WHEN I WAS IN COLLEGE, BACK IN THE EARLY 1700s, I PUT THEIR ALBUM AMERICAN BEAUTYON WHENEVER I WAS STRESSING OUT.
IT ALWAYS HELPED.
YOU KNOW WHAT? .
PUT IT ON WHILE YOU'RE STUDYING FOR FINALS, AND SOON YOU'LL BE RARIN' TO GO TO THA ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
I GOT KINDA WOOZY WHEN I HAD TO SHOW THAT GIRLS' TIME OF THE MONTH FILM.
THEY DIDN'T EVEN LET ME INTO THE CLASS TO SHOW THAT ONE.
THEY SAID THE GIRLS WOULD BE TOO EMBARRASSED.
I HEARD THAT'S BECAUSE YOU COULD SEE A GIRL'S BOOBS IN IT.
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, LOOKS LIKE OUR HAPPY LITTLE A.
V.
FAMILY IS ABOUT TO GET A NEW ADDITION.
DANIEL DESARIO IS GOING TO BE JOINING US HERE FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
WHY? WELL, I GUESS HE WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE, AND MR.
ROSSO THOUGH THAT A STAY IN A.
V.
MIGHT BE A GOOD ATTITUDE ADJUSTMEN FOR HIM.
WAIT A MINUTE.
HE'S PUTTING HIM IN A.
V.
AS PUNISHMENT? [2 KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.
HERE HE IS.
WELCOME TO THE AUDIO-VISUAL DEPARTMENT, MR.
DESARIO.
THANK YOU.
HEY, DANIEL, HOW'S IT GOING? FINE.
HEY, DANIEL, DO YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX A PROJECTOR? NO.
WE CAN TEACH YA.
GREAT.
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
DANIEL'S GONNA RUIN THE ONLY PLACE WE LIKE IN SCHOOL.
YEAH, WHY DID MR.
ROSSO DO THIS TO US? I BET THAT DANIEL GUY IS HIGH ON DRUGS, AND IF WE MAKE HIM ANGRY, HE'LL FREAK OUT AND WRECK THE A.
V.
ROOM.
OH, NO! NO, HE WON'T.
HE'S NOT A BAD GUY.
I MEAN, HE'S FRIENDS WITH MY SISTER.
I'VE TALKED TO HIM.
Neal: SAM, HE GAVE YOU A PORNO.
I WOULDN'T EXACTLY SAY YOU HAVE A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
UM, NONE OF US REALLY KNOW HIM THAT WELL, NEAL.
ALL I KNOW IS, WHAT WE'VE GOTTA DO IS GET HIM TOHOW MOVIES EVERY DAY.
IT'S THE ONLY WAY WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET RID OF HIM.
AGREED? AGREED.
LINDSAY, I UNDERSTAND CONGRATULATIONS ARE IN ORDER.
WELCOME TO THE 1% CLUB.
I WAS ONE BACK IN 1956.
LOOK WHAT IT DID FOR ME! THANK YOU.
OOH! OH, MY GOD! I AM SO SORRY! THAT WAS MY FAULT.
THAT WAS ME.
I'M THE CLUMSY CLOD.
HEY,AMERICAN BEAUTY.
THAT IS A GREAT ALBUM, MAN.
OH.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'VE HEARD.
ARE YOU A DEADHEAD? UMNO.
I--SOMEONE JUST GAVE IT TO ME TO LISTEN TO.
OH, WELL, IF YOU NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE, YOU'RE IN FOR A TREAT, 'CAUSE IT'S LIKE THE BES ALBUM OF ALL TIME.
REALLY? Girl: YEAH.
IS IT THAT GREAT? I WISH I'D NEVER HEARD IT, JUST SO I COULD HEAR IT AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME.
THIS IS SUCH A COOL VEST, KENNY.
WHY DON' KENNY? T YOU COME OVER TO NICK'S AFTER SCHOOL? WE'RE GONNA GO OVER SOME NEW DANCE MOVES.
I DON'T THINK SO.
UH, KEN DOESN' REALLY LIKE TO DANCE.
OH, WELL, KENNY, THAT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW.
NOW, I TAUGHT NICK HOW TO DO THE HUSTLE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'LL PROBABLY LEARN EVEN FASTER THAN THAT, BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE BOTH OF US TEACHING YOU AT THE SAME TIME.
UMNO? OK.
YOUR LOSS.
UM, DO YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING? I'M GONNA GO GET SOME MORE MILK.
NO, I'M OK.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, BABY.
I'LL BE HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
I GIVE UP, NICK.
WHEN DOES ALAN FUN COME BOOGIEING OUT? YOU KNOW, THAT'S NOT COOL, MAN.
COME ON.
THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND, MAN.
DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU USED TO HATE DISCO? LOOK, WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ZEPPELIN AND DISCO, REALLY? NO, LISTEN, THEY BOTH HAVE HEAVY DRUMS AND THEY HAVE BASS.
HAVE YOU HEARD THAT FOXY SONG, HOT NUMBER? IT ROCKS, MAN.
NO! I DON'T KNOW THAT SONG, THANK GOD.
BUT I CAN GUARANTEE IT SUCKS.
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS, MAN? YOU SUCK.
NO, I'VE BEEN TRYING REALLY HARD TO GET A DECENT GIRLFRIEND FOR A LONG TIME.
AND NOW I'VE GOT ONE, AND YOU'RE BEING A REAL JERK.
NICK, YOU ARE ONLY GOING OUT WITH SARA TO MAKE LINDSAY JEALOUS, AND IT ISN'T WORKING.
ADMIT IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW YOU, MAN.
THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT.
WHAT'S THA ALL ABOUT? LINDSAY, CAN YOU PLEASE START GOING OU WITH NICK AGAIN? I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS.
[GRATEFUL DEAD'S BOX OF RAINPLAYING.]
LOOK OUT OF ANY WINDOW ANY MORNING, ANY EVENING ANY DAY MAYBE THE SUN IS SHINING OR RAIN IS FALLING FROM A HEAVY SKY WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? TO DO FOR YOU TO SEE YOU THROUGH? FOR THIS IS ALL A DREAM WE DREAMED ONE AFTERNOON LONG AGO OUR DAUGHTER IN THE TOP 1%.
LIKE MY GRANDPA USED TO SAY, IF I WAS WEARING MY VEST, ALL THE BUTTONS WOULD POP.
HERE I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE APPLYING YOURSELF, AND NOW LOOK.
YOU MUST BE ABSOLUTELY THRILLED.
YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I'M NOT EVEN SURE IF I WANT TO GO.
WHAT'S THE POINT? [LAUGHS.]
WACKY? CAN IT! YOU'RE GOING TO THAT SUMMIT, LINDSAY.
THIS ISN'T EVEN OPEN FOR DEBATE.
DAD, I DIDN'T SAY I WASN'T GONNA GO.
JU SOUNDS KINDADUMB.
DUMB? SPEND 2 WEEKS WITH THE INTELLECTUAL ELITE OF YOUR PEERS? OH, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY DUMB.
HONEY, THINK OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU'LL MEET.
YEAH, MOM, I KNOW.
IT'S JUST-- Haro ld: IT'S JUST NOTHING! THIS IS YOUR KEY TO THE BEST SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD HARVAR YALE, PRINCETON.
DON'T BLOW THIS, LINDSAY.
DAD, I DIDN'T SAY I WASN'T GONNA GO.
CAN' GOD.
T WE HAVE A NORMAL DISCUSSION ABOUT SOMETHING? WHEN IT COMES TO SOMETHING LIKE THISNO.
WELL, EVERYONE, LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING, AND THAT'S THA TODAY IS MOVIE DAY.
BUT JUST SO THA WE DON'T COMPLETELY WASTE TIME, WE'LL BE WATCHING THE 1968 FRANCO ZEFFIRELLI VERSION OFROMEO AND JULIET.
IF ONE OF OUR ASTUTE MEMBERS OF THE A.
V.
SQUAD WOULD GET HIS BUTT IN HERE, WE'D BE ABLE TO GE THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD.
[2 KNOCKS ON DOOR.]
HI, I'M HERE TO SHOW YOUR MOVIE.
I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
I WAS STARTING TO THINK I'D HAVE TO ACT OU THE FILM MYSELF.
OH.
WHERE WAS I? YES.
THIS VERSION OF [FAKE COUGHS.]
GEEK! AH! UH THIS VERSION OFROMEO AND JULIE IS UNIQUE IN THA IT IS THE FIRST TIME THAT A FILM HAD CHOSEN TO LE TEENAGE ACTORS PLAY-- [CRASH.]
DO YOU NEED A HAND, SIR? NO, I THINK I GOT IT.
IN HE VERSION BEFORE MR.
ZEFFIRELLI'S MASTERPIECE, THE ROLES WERE PLAYED BY ACTORS WELL INTO THEIR 30s, WHICH CAUSED IT TO HAVE AN ARTIFICIAL FEEL.
WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP MR.
DeMILLE SET UP THE PROJECTOR? ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT.
ANY CHANCE OF BEING READY IN THE NEAR FUTURE? YEAH, JUST ONE SECOND, ALL RIGHT? OK.
READY.
READY.
SAINTS BE PRAISED.
[PROJECTOR FEEDS NOISILY.]
[BANGS ON PROJECTOR.]
INSTEAD OF HITTING IT, COULD YOU PLEASE JUST MAKE THE FILM LOOP A LITTLE BIGGER? WHAT? MAKE THE FILM LOOP BIGGER.
THANKS.
SO YOU GUYS JUST DRIVE AROUND AND FOLLOW THE DEAD EVERYWHERE? YEAH, IT'S GREAT.
YOU MEET A LO OF REALLY COOL PEOPLE.
WELL, ARE THE CONCERTS THAT DIFFERENT? YEAH, IT'S LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE EVER EXPERIENCED.
THIS ONE TIME, WE WERE IN NEW JERSEY, AND IT STARTED RAINING RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW.
SUDDENLY EVERYBODY GOES RUNNING DOWN TO THE PIT, AND THEY STAR DANCING IN THE MUD.
AND THEN THE SUN COMES OUT, AND THERE'S THIS RAINBOW RIGHT OVER THE STAGE.
I STARTED CRYING.
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
REALLY WHAT IT'S ALL ABOU IS BEING TOGETHER AND HAVING A GOOD TIME, AS ONE.
JUDGING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
THAT'S NOT WHA THE DEAD ARE ABOUT.
IT'S ALL ABOU BEING CONNECTED AND BEING FREE.
NOTHING--NOTHING IS BETTER, I'M TELLING YOU.
YEAH, IT SOUNDS WILD.
WE'RE GOING DOWN TO TEXAS WHEN SCHOOL'S OUT.
WE'RE GONNA FOLLOW THE TOUR UP TO COLORADO.
9 SHOWS IN A WEEK AND A HALF.
I CAN'T WAIT.
WOW.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO THIS SUMMER? OH, I GOT INTO THIS ACADEMIC SUMMIT THING AT U.
OF M.
IT'S KINDA GOOFY.
[GIGGLES.]
HEY, MAN, YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO.
Girl: YEAH.
[GIGGLES.]
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GO TO A.
V.
AGAIN TODAY.
IT'S SO STUPID.
WELL, YOU KNOW, DANIEL, NOBODY ASKED YOU TO PULL THE FIRE ALARM.
OH, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, FLUNK THE TEST? I SUCK AT MATH.
I SUCK AT EVERYTHING.
WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, DANIEL? I DON'T KNOW, KIM.
YOU KNOW, I AM ALWAYS LISTENING TO YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS.
YOU KNOW WHAT, DANIEL? WHY DON'T YOU GO TELL I TO THE FIRE ALARM? THANKS! GUYS, I WANT MY NEW DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CHARACTER TO BE CALLED GORTHON.
WHY GORTHON? 'CAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL.
I'M GORTHON THE THIEF.
SURRENDER YOUR JEWELS, PRINCESS! OH, BILL, DON' BE A THIEF AGAIN! YOU ALWAYS FALL DOWN A WELL TRYING TO STEAL STUFF.
UH, SORRY, KRAGENMORE THE DESTROYER.
SO, SAM, WILL LOGAN THE HUGE BE MAKING AN APPEARANCE? I TOLD YOU, I DON' WANT TO PLAY.
WHAT, YOU'RE TOO COOL FOR US NOW THAT YOU BROKE UP WITH CINDY? NO.
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST-- IT'S A GEEKY GAME.
I MEAN, WHAT'S THE POINT? THE POINT IS, YOU USED TO LIKE IT.
I LEFT MY SCIENCE BOOK IN THE A.
V.
ROOM.
SEE YOU GUYS LATER.
[CLATTER.]
SEE YOU LATER.
HEY! HEY.
WHAT'S EATING YOU? HUH? NOTHING.
I JUST WISH I DIDN'T GET INTO THAT ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
JUST FEELS LIKE I'M GOING BACK INTO SCHOOL AGAIN.
LIFE'S TOUGH.
WHAT'S THA SUPPOSED TO MEAN? IT MEANS YOU'VE BEEN MOPING AROUND EVER SINCE YOU FOUND OU YOU GOT INTO THAT STUPID THING.
AT LEAST YOU GET TO GET OU OF THIS TOWN FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
KIM, IT'S SUMMER VACATION.
YOU CAN GO OUT OF TOWN, TOO.
YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU WANT.
NO, I CAN'T, LINDSAY.
I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY.
AND BESIDES, DANIEL NEVER WANTS TO GO ANYWHERE, ANYWAY.
SO? GO WITHOUT HIM.
YOU DON' HAVE TO STAY HERE.
YOU KNOW THAT, KIM.
THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, LINDSAY, 'CAUSE YOU GET TO LEAVE.
I DON'T.
[DYNASTY'SI DON' WANT TO BE A FREAKPLAYS.]
COME ON, NICK, YOU PROMISED ME.
I KNOW.
I'M JUS KINDA FREAKED OU ABOUT IT.
I'M NOT THA GOOD AT CONTESTS.
NICK, YOU ARE A GREAT DANCER.
OK? YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY GOOD.
AND I SWEAR, I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT.
THANKS.
IT'S WEIRD.
I USED TO HATE DISCO.
BUT I GUESS MAYBE I WAS JUST DESTINED FOR IT.
YEAH! TOTALLY.
SOMETIMES YOU END UP BEING THE BES AT SOMETHING YOU HATE.
MM-HMM.
SHE HATE LIKE LINDSAY.
S MATH, BUT SHE'S THE HEAD OF THE MATHLETES.
NICK, DO YOU STILL LIKE LINDSAY? NO, NO.
I MEAN, I STILL CARE ABOUT HER.
LOOK, I REALLY LIKE YOU, SARA.
I'VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU SINCE THE SIXTH GRADE.
REALLY? I ALWAYS SAT BEHIND YOU, EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE SO TALL I COULDN' SEE THE BOARD.
WOW.
I JUST--I CAN' BELIEVE THAT YOU LIKE ME.
OH TONIGHT'S D&D CAMPAIGN IS GONNA BE THE BEST EVER.
2 WORDS: ANCIENT BABYLONIA.
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE DRAWING OF THE GODDESS ISHTAR? HUBBA HUBBA! YOU SHOULD LOOK AT THE GODDESS OF VICE.
I JUST H YOU CAN SEE HER BUTT.
OPE YOU GUYS ARE READY TO FACE THE DANCING SWORD.
Neal: BRING IT ON! WHAT'S A DANCING SWORD? WELL, IT LIKE-- IT'S A SWORD THAT CAN FIGH WITHOUT YOU HOLDING IT.
WHAT, YOU JUS SEND YOUR SWORD INTO BATTLE FOR YOU, AND THEN YOU STAY HOME? THAT'S KIND OF STUPID.
NO, NO, YOU HAVE TO BE AT LEAST 3 INCHES AWAY FROM I WHEN IT'S FIGHTING.
THAT WAY YOU CAN FIGHT 2 PEOPLE AT ONCE.
THAT'S KINDA COOL.
HEY, DANIEL.
WE'RE PLAYING D&D TONIGHT.
YOU WANNA COME? WHY? I THINK YOU'D LIKE IT.
WE COULD SHOW YOU HOW TO PLAY.
I COULDN'T DO THAT.
YEAH, YOU WOULDN' LIKE IT, ANYWAY.
IT'S REALLY BORING.
NO.
NO, IT ISN'T, NEAL.
YOU LOVE IT.
WE SIT AROUND AND CRACK JOKES AND EAT JUNK FOOD ALL NIGH WHILE WE'RE FIGHTING DRAGONS AND SAVING PRINCESSES AND STUFF.
IT'S PRETTY FUN.
YOU GE AND THE BEST PART IS, TO PRETEND TO BE SOMEBODY YOU CAN'T BE IN REAL LIFE.
OK, I'LL PLAY.
REALLY? YEAH, I'LL PLAY.
JUSTDON'T EXPECT ME TO BE GOOD AT I OR ANYTHING.
YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY BE ANY WORSE THAN BILL.
HEY! SO, SAM, HOW ABOUT YOU? ARE YOU IN? YEAH, I GUESS.
THOUGHT YOU WERE TOO COOL TO PLAY LOGAN THE HUGE.
KEN, NO.
WE SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
JUST LET NICK DO WHAT HE WANTS.
I CAN'T DO THAT.
THE POOR GUY'S BRAINWASHED.
I CAN'T LET HIM DANCE IN THIS STUPID CONTEST.
IT GOES AGAINS EVERYTHING THAT WE STAND FOR.
WELL, I'M NO GONNA STOP HIM.
JUST TALK TO HIM! AT LEAST TELL HIM THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A CHANCE WITH YOU SO HE'LL BREAK UP WITH SARA! NO, IT'S NO GONNA WORK.
LOOK! KENNY AND LINDSAY CAME TO CHEER YOU ON! THAT IS SO COOL! HEY, GUYS! HEY, NICK.
LINDSAY HAS SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO TELL YOU.
NO, I DON'T.
YES, YOU DO! KEN, STOP IT! OH, CHECK IT OUT, KIDS.
IT'S OUR LITTLE OPINIONATED ROCK 'N' ROLLER FRIEND.
WHO THE HELL'S HE TALKIN' ABOUT? I THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOU.
UHSO WHAT DO I DO? FIRST YOU HAVE TO CREATE A CHARACTER.
ROLL YOUR DICE AND FIND OU WHAT YOUR ABILITY SCORES ARE.
WHAT ARE THOSE? OH, WELL, THA TELLS YOU IF YOU'RE STRONG OR SMAR OR HOW GOOD YOU ARE WITH A WEAPON.
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME SUPER-SMART GUY? I DON' HAVE A CHARACTER.
I'M THE DUNGEON MASTER.
I CONTROL THE GAME AND ACT OUT ALL THE CHARACTERS YOU'LL MEET ALONG THE WAY.
AND, DANIEL, WATCH OUT FOR HIM.
HE'S SNEAKY.
YEAH, YEAH, HE THINKS BEING A DUNGEON MASTER GIVES HIM A LICENSE TO MESS WITH OUR HEADS.
OH, I'M SORRY.
PERHAPS I SHOULD LET YOU ENCOUNTER KITTENS AND GRANDMAS SO AS NOT TO UPSET YOU.
COME ON, DANIEL, ROLL THE DICE.
I WANNA SEE WHA YOUR CHARACTER'S GONNA BE.
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
HERE GOES NOTHIN'.
HEY, MAN, AREN'T YOU ONE OF THOSE GUYS WHO'S ALWAYS YELLIN' IN HERE THAT DISCO SUCKS? WHAT'S THE MATTER? CAT GOT YOUR BONG, MAN? IS THAT HOW YOU LEARNED TO COMMUNICATE, RUNNIN' IN HERE, YELLIN' STUFF? IS THAT WHAT YOUR PRECIOUS ROCK TEACHERS YOU, FRIEND? UMNO, MAN.
IT TEACHES ME THAT DISCO SUCKS! KEN, DON'T, ALL RIGHT? I SAY THAT ROCK 'N' ROLL SUCKS, OK? HEY, HAVE YOU HEARD THE STONES' NEW SONG, MISS YOU? WELL, GUESS WHAT? IT'S DISCO, MAN.
EVEN THE STONES KNOW IT.
THEY'RE WILLING TO ADMIT IT.
WHY CAN'T YOU? THIS PLACE IS EMPTY, MAN! DISCO IS DEAD.
GIVE IT UP! WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO SELLIN'SHIRTS AT THE MALL THERE, BUDDY? ALL RIGHT, PAL.
LET'S GO.
GREAT.
THANKS A LOT, MAN.
DISCO IS ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE, I TELL YOU! I KNOW IT AND YOU KNOW IT AND MISS GLORIA GAYNOR KNOWS IT, TOO! AT FIRST I WAS AFRAID I WAS PETRIFIED [WEAK APPLAUSE.]
KEPT THINKIN' I COULD NEVER LIVE WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE WHERE THE HELL IS DANIEL WHEN YOU NEED HIM? A DWARF? I DON'T WANNA BE A DWARF.
I WANTED TO BE, LIKE, A NINJA OR A FIGHTER.
WELL, DWARFS ARE FIGHTERS.
THEY'RE REALLY GOOD AT IT.
[SIGHS.]
ARE YOU A DWARF? NO.
I'M KRAGENMORE THE DESTROYER.
YOU'RE LUCKY, MAN.
I WANT TO BE SOME HUGE DESTROYER GUY.
DWARFS CAN DO A LO OF THINGS THAT HUGE GUYS CAN'T DO.
IT'S TRUE.
TAKE IT FROM ME.
YEAH, DWARFS ARE REALLY TOUGH.
THEY'RE GOOD A FINDING JEWELS.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I'LL BE A DWARF.
BUT MY NAME IS CARLOS.
[SNICKERS.]
CARLOS THE DWARF? YEAH, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, GORTHON? NO.
THANKS A LOT, MAN.
THANKS FOR EMBARRASSING ME IN THERE.
I GOTTA GO DANCE IN FRONT OF THOSE PEOPLE NOW! BEST OF LUCK, MAN.
I MEAN IT! GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU GET OVER YOUR SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER.
AND YOU'RE TOO TALL TO BE A GOOD DANCER! HEY, I AGREE WITH YOU, MAN.
THAT PLACE SUCKS.
AND YOU'RE RIGHT.
THEY'RE CLOSIN' THE DISCO NEXT WEEK AND BRINGIN' IN FOXY BOXIN'.
YOU SHOULD COME BACK AND CHECK IT OUT.
[SOFTLY.]
ROCK 'N' ROLL! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT GUY? WHY DOES HE HAVE TO GIVE ME SUCH A HARD TIME ABOUT THIS? KEN'S JUST CONFUSED.
HE'S THINKS YOU'RE DOING ALL THIS STUFF TOI DON'T KNOW, TO GET ME BACK.
WELL, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD HIM, BUT HE DOESN'T WAN TO LISTEN.
I MEAN, I'M WITH SARA NOW.
YOU KNOW? I'M NOT SOME IDIOT.
YOU TOLD ME TO MOVE ON.
AND SO I DID.
YEAH! I KNOW.
I THINK IT'S GREAT.
WELL, IT IS GREAT.
I MEAN, SARA'S THE BEST, YOU KNOW? SHE OPENED ME UP TO ALL SORTS OF NEW THINGS, AND SHE LOVES ME.
I MEAN, THAT'S IMPORTANT.
IT IS.
I'M REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU, NICK.
WELL, YOU SHOULD BE, YOU KNOW? I EVEN QUI SMOKING POT.
YEAH.
I DON'T EVEN REALLY WANT I ANYMORE.
IT'S LIKE I TOTALLY CLEANED MYSELF UP.
WOW! REALLY? MM-HMM.
GOD, THAT'S--I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
THAT'S SO GREAT.
YOU SEEM LIKE YOU'RE HAVING WAY MORE FUN WITH HER THAN YOU EVER DID WITH ME.
YEAH.
I MEAN, I AM.
TTA GET GOING.
I HAVE A LOT OF STUDYING TO DO FOR THAT ACADEMIC SUMMIT.
I SHOULD PROBABLY START STUDYING FOR FINALS.
OH, YEAH.
I SHOULD DO THAT, TOO.
FIRST I GOTTA WIN THIS DANCE CONTEST.
[CHUCKLES.]
HEY, GOOD LUCK.
THANKS.
OK, ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
WE'RE GONNA SHAKE OUR GROOVE THINGS TONIGHT HERE A FRONTIER LANES.
IT'S TIME FOR THE BIG DISCO CONTEST, AND LET'S BRING UP OUR FIRST CONTESTAN OF THE NIGHT-- THAT'S MR.
NICK ANDOPOLIS! ANDOPOLIS.
[SCANT APPLAUSE.]
NICK.
NICKY.
NICK! COME ON, BABY, IT'S YOUR TURN.
TIME TO BOOGIE OOGIE OOGIE.
[GROOVE LINEPLAYS.]
PACK YOUR GRIP TAKIN' YOU ON A TRIP AIN'T NO SEATS ALL WE GOT'S HANDS AND FEE LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHIND COME RAIN OR SHINE DON'T MIND WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE WHOO-HOO! TONIGH HOO HOO HOO HOO GET THE STRENGTH KNOW YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU CAME HIT THE TRACK PARTY HARD THERE AND BACK LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHIND COME RAIN OR SHINE DON'T MIND WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGH HOO HOO HOO HOO CHECK OU THE WHEELS ARE BURNIN' OOH WHEE OOH YA KNOW WE DON'T STOP WE GO THE BOILER BURNIN' OOH WHEE OOH WE'RE KEEPIN' IT HO SO GRAB YOUR FRIENDS GET TO SAY COMIN' THROUGH CLIMB ON BOARD WHERE YOU LEAVE UP TO YOU LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHI COME RAIN OR SHINE I LOVE YOU, NICK! WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGH HOO HOO O-OK, ALL RIGHT, MR.
ANDOPOLIS.
IT'S TIME TO CLEAR THE FLOOR FOR THE NEXT CONTESTANT.
YES! HOO HOO [APPLAUSE.]
NICK, YOU WERE SO GREAT! OH, MY GOD, YOU ARE GONNA WIN FOR SURE.
ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'D LIKE YOU TO ALL PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR THE MAGICAL DISCO STYLINGS OF EUGENE.
HOO HOO HOO HOO CHECK OU THE WHEELS ARE BURNIN' OOH WHEE OOH YOU KNOW WE WON'T STOP WE GOT THE BOILER BURNIN' OOH WHOO OOH WE'RE KEEPIN' IT HO SO GRAB YOUR FRIENDS WHAT THE HECK? THEY DIDN'T SAY THAT YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DO MAGIC! WHERE YOU LEAVE'S UP TO YOU LEAVE YOUR WORRIES BEHIND COME RAIN OR SHINE WOW.
HE'S REALLY GOOD.
WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGH HOO HOO COME RAIN OR SHINE DON'T MIND WE'RE RIDIN' ON THE GROOVE LINE TONIGHT GREETINGS, PRINCESS.
IT IS I, CARLOS THE DWARF.
THE DRAGON HAS BEEN SLAIN, AND YOU'RE FREE TO RULE YOUR KINGDOM.
CONGRATULATIONS, DANIEL.
YOU JUST FINISHED YOUR FIRST DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CAMPAIGN.
WHOO! ALL RIGHT! THANKS, GUYS.
HEYTHIS IS REALLY FUN.
YOU GUYS WANNA DO THIS TOMORROW NIGHT? YEAH.
SURE.
I WOULD, BUT HARRIS KILLED ME AGAIN.
YOU HAD IT COMING, BILL.
WELL, KICK HIS ASS TOMORROW NIGHT, BILL.
JUST LEAVE I TO CARLOS.
YEAH.
M GONNA GET ANOTHER DRINK.
YOU GUYS WANT ANYTHING? NO.
GORDON, BILL? ALL RIGHT.
WOW, HE'S COOL.
YEAH.
DOESHIM WANTING TO PLAY WITH US AGAIN MEAN THAT HE'S TURNING INTO A GEEK OR WE'RE TURNING INTO COOL GUYS? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I'M GONNA GO FOR US BEING COOL GUYS.
YEAH, I'LL BUY THAT.
YEAH.
DEFINITELY COOL GUYS.
COOL.
OH, ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT US TO DRIVE YOU TO U.
OF M.
? WE DON'T MIND.
NO, MOM, IT'S OK.
I'D KINDA LIKE TO DO THIS, YOU KNOW, GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT BEFORE I GET THERE.
OK.
I UNDERSTAND.
OH! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOURSELF A GREAT TIME.
YEAH, YOU GO AND MAKE THE WEIRS PROUD.
BE SMARTER THAN ALL OSE OTHER KIDS.
DAD! HAROLD HAVE A NICE TIME, LINDSAY.
I'M GONNA MISS YOU.
THANKS, SAM.
COME ON.
I'M ONLY GOING FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M GONE.
YEAH, I GUESS SO.
SEE YOU.
SEE YOU.
BYE, DAD.
NO, NO, NO! LINDSAY, LINDSAY, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! HI.
I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
IT'S CHOCOLATES FOR A SWEET TRIP.
YEAH, WE ALWAYS GIVE MY GRANDMA CHOCOLATES WHEN WE PUT HER ON THE BUS.
THAT, AND WE PIN HER NAME AND ADDRESS ON HER JACKE IN CASE SHE GETS LOST.
THANKS, NEAL.
IT'S NICE.
BYE, BILL.
HEY, HE DIDN' GET YOU ANYTHING! OH.
THAT'S JUS FOR COMIN' DOWN.
IT DIDN'T COST ME A CENT.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU.
OK, HONEY, WE'LL SEE YOU.
BYE, LINDSAY.
HEY, MOM.
YES, SWEETIE? I'LL SEE YOU SOON.
OK, HONEY.
OK.
LOVE YOU.
I MISS YOU ALREADY! IF MY WORDS DID GLOW WITH THE COLD WARM OF SUNSHINE AND MY TUNES WERE PLAYED ON THE FARM ON THE STRUM WOULD YOU HEAR MY VOICE COME THROUGH THE MUSIC? WOULD YOU HOLD IT NEAR AS IT GREW YEAR-ROUND? IT'S A HAND ME DOWN BUT THOUGHTS ARE BROKEN PERHAPS THEY'RE BETTER LEFT UNSUNG I DON'T KNOW DON'T REALLY CARE LET THERE BE SONGS TO FILL THE AIR RIPPLES IN STILL WATER WHEN THERE IS NO APPLE TOSS NOR WIND TO BLOW REACH OUT YOUR HAND IF YOUR CUP BE EMPTY IF YOUR CUP IS FULL MAY IT BE AGAIN LET IT BE KNOWN THERE IS A FOUNTAIN THAT WAS NOT MADE BY THE HANDS OF MEN LA DEE DA DA DA LA DA DA DA DA LA DA DA ncicRMANHOUT.
C.
SSIB L