G.I.Joe: Renegades (2010) s01e18 Episode Script
Union of the Snake
That's our target Wu Chang, C.
E.
O.
of Chinalai Telecom.
He's one of several communications big wigs on the guest list for a summit hosted by the Baroness, at the Cisarovna family chateau.
Just the place for Cobra to eliminate the competition.
So we schlepped all the way to east Croatia, hungo-slavia-whatever to crash another party? No crashing.
Mr.
Chang's our ticket in.
Huh? He probably would've slept through the presentation, anyway.
Accused of a crime they didn't commit, a ragtag band of fugitives fights a covert battle to clear their names and expose the insidious enemy that is Cobra.
Some call them outlaws.
Some call them heroes.
But these determined men and women think of themselves only as ordinary Joes.
And this is their story.
Step lively, gentlemen.
Mr.
Chang demands respect.
You're enjoying this far too much.
You better hope the real Mr.
Chang doesn't wake up anytime soon.
After all the secret sauce snake eyes slipped him, I'm betting Chang doesn't wake up anytime this week.
Guten Tag.
My Mandarin is rusty.
Whoa.
What's with the racial? Just 'cause I look Chinese, you assume I speak it? But but you are the head of a Chinese phone company.
Hey, do I tell you how to run your business, gramps? Ow! Keep our gear close.
We're going in unarmed.
Doesn't feel right.
There should be guards crawling all over this room.
Unless someone else got here first.
What is this presentation? Why were we called here? Does anyone know? On behalf of Cobra Industries, I welcome you all to chateau Cisarovna.
Guys, looks like we have competition.
Someone took out security, and it wasn't us.
Copy that.
We'll keep a sharp eye here.
Ladies and gentlemen, my president and C.
E.
O.
, Adam Decobrray.
Thank you, Baroness, for opening your family's baronial estate to us all.
And I would especially like to thank all of you for attending this historic conference.
Ah, don't mention it.
You're about to get a sneak peak at our new flagship product.
I give you the future of cellular communications technology The Cobra Black Adder.
- I don't understand.
- This looks promising.
- Thank you.
What's the catch? - Danke schoen.
Ooh, free schwag.
Hand it over.
Eh, great.
One of you, fetch me some club soda.
The Black Adder's unique subliminal technology will enable you to send messages directly to their brains Advertising, calls to action, customer loyalty Completely and absolute loyalty.
Too many cooks spoil soup.
Since when does a cook carry a plasma-pulse weapon? I will ask the questions.
Who do you work for? We're sort of independent right now.
Maybe you've heard of us The Joes? We're all over Cobra News channel.
I do not watch Cobra News.
Propaganda is bad for digestion, - as are unexpected guests.
- Wait.
We have a mutual enemy.
Maybe we can trade information.
What kind of information? Lower your weapon, and we'll chat.
Scarlett.
What's going on? Come in.
This is not negotiation.
Talk and leave, or don't talk and don't leave.
The choice is yours.
She needs backup.
Go.
You know you're not really in charge, right? Now, if you will all turn your attention to your phones, you will be the first to witness a demonstration of Cobra's patented technology.
I've seen this show already, and I hated it the first time.
You are servants of Cobra.
You are loyal only to Cobra.
You serve without question.
Guys, we got problems.
Cobra ain't eliminating the competition.
They're mind-controlling them, with Tomax and Xamot's light show.
Come in.
Anybody? I can tell you right now, there's a roomful of innocent people who may be in danger.
No one is innocent.
You see this banquet! The Cisarovnas grow fat.
My people live on crumbs! Yo, what's cooking? Who is this guy? Someone with an ax to grind against the Baroness and her family.
You tell him we're on the same side? Got lost in translation.
Long live the October Guard! Long months of planning Scouting the chateau, waiting for Baroness to return wasted.
She still lives, thanks to American Joes from Cobra News.
That's what this is about Blowing up the Baroness? You'd have taken dozens of innocent lives with her.
Collateral damage.
A wise man once said, "blood is the price of victory.
" Carl Von Clausewitz.
Great Prussian general, Carl Von Clausewitz.
You've read him.
Yeah, I've read him.
Don't agree with him.
Oh, look.
It's a smorgasbord of fail.
Captain Anatoly Krimov.
Or should I call you "Red Star"? Where is your precious October Guard now? Everywhere.
We will not stop fighting the Cisarovnas until you all pay for your crimes against my people.
That was generations ago, peasant.
You became rich while thousands starved.
Know your place.
We ruled under the czars, then the communists, then the capitalists.
Cisarovnas were born to rule.
The October Guard will end your reign.
We will leave scorched earth where the House of Cisarovna once stood! Dude's hardcore.
If we're not careful, we could end up just like him.
I have to admire his passion.
Yeah, I hate to break up the mayday rally, but I got some big plans for your "yo, Joe" brains, courtesy of my psychic pals, Tomax and Xamot.
Don't blink or you might miss it.
Oh, wait.
You can't! Okay.
Find a fuse box, cut the power, no more light show.
You need to come with us.
You can't talk to me like that.
Don't you know who I am? Hey, stop! Come back here! Huh? Where'd he go? Snake Eyes, the phone.
We just gonna leave comrade Cuckoo? Yeah, we can't exactly trust him.
There's no time for debate.
Every C.
E.
O.
up at that summit was handed one of those hypno-phones, including Tunnel Rat.
How far do you think you'll get without your weapons? I've studied this chateau for months.
I know where the Baroness keeps her toys.
I got to say, seeing those two strapped down and helpless never gets old for me.
How long until the mind control becomes permanent? Relax, "B.
" Cerebral manipulation is not an exact science.
First I have to keep tweedledee and tweedledum from nodding off so they can do their hypno mojo.
Then I have to boost their psychic signal through that satellite dish.
Then beam it back to every single cellphone in that room, taking into account the complexity of each C.
E.
O.
's unique neural network.
How long? 20 minutes, 13 seconds.
The commander has high hopes for this project.
Once the C.
E.
O.
s are under our control, Cobra will have access to every communication satellite on the planet.
And then we beam the mesmerizing message worldwide.
Global mind control.
Talk about signal strength.
You'll get used to that.
As promised.
Why did you let the guards live? Because there are some lines we're not willing to cross.
Sadly, our mutual enemy does not share your weakness.
Yo, T-Rat, still in one piece? You need to get out of that party.
Meet us in the garage.
Cobra's using Tomax and Xamot to control the Way ahead of you.
The C.
E.
O.
s are just the beginning.
And the mind control's gonna get eternal in 15 minutes.
More than enough time to find safe distance from blast radius.
Man, you have an unhealthy fascination with blowing stuff up.
I planted enough explosives to destroy the entire chateau.
This will keep your mind control from spreading and send message to all Cisarovnas.
Not to mention spread a lot of innocent civilians all over this hillside.
Acceptable losses As Von Clausewitz said.
Von Clausewitz also said, "Never engage the same enemy too long, or he will adapt to your tactics.
" I fail to see how this applies to the Cisarovnas.
I'm talking about you.
You've been fighting the Cisarovnas so long, you've become as ruthless as they are.
You dare compare me to the Cisarovnas? I will sacrifice myself for the cause if necessary, as did my father and his father before him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, Cobra's routing the mind-control signal through a satellite dish at the base of the mountain.
We take out the dish Free will, without casualties.
How much time? 10 minutes.
I will give you nine.
We need something to get us down the mountain fast.
Take your pick.
Is that what I think it is? Escaped? I want a complete aerial sweep.
Launch the flight pods now.
Okay.
Just like riding a bicycle.
- What was that? - That is trouble.
Cobra flight pods.
Trouble bubbles.
Tunnel Rat, Roadblock, buy me some time.
I'm gonna make a run at the dish.
Whoa! That works, too.
Why do you stay so close? To make sure you don't get an itchy detonator finger.
We're cutting it close.
Less than four minutes till Ivan the trigger-happy starts the fireworks.
Speaking of fireworks Yo, T-Rat, hold her steady, and I just might hit something.
Maybe you should quit your backseat driving and join the other powder bumps.
Duke, don't want to rush you, but we're under a minute.
Which means, by my clock, you're out of time, comrades.
I'm out.
Me too.
We have only one shot at this.
Scarlett, you're moving in too fast! My hero.
Told you you were moving in too fast.
Oh, my head.
Mindbender, we've lost the transmission.
Well, thanks for the news flash, mistress of the obvious.
Just let me reboot the system before Before we awaken And you surrender your will To the brothers of light? You will now show your obedience.
Oh, what was this, some kind of joke? - Waste of time.
- Never do business with them again.
You Joes would sacrifice yourselves to protect innocents.
Respect you.
Don't agree with you yet.
Only one of you Will leave this room alive.
Wow.
The local authorities.
Much as we would enjoy witnessing their agony, brother Our freedom must supercede our vengeance.
This will lead you back to town.
What about you, Red Star? My comrades and I have survived in these mountains for generations.
This is Red Star.
Operation has been aborted due to unacceptable potential civilian casualties.
Get your hands off of me, Mindbender! Whoa! What just Not good.
- Over here.
Over here, please.
- Thank you very much.
Brother, have you ever considered Spreading our influence through telecommunications? Synch by Benfo.
E.
O.
of Chinalai Telecom.
He's one of several communications big wigs on the guest list for a summit hosted by the Baroness, at the Cisarovna family chateau.
Just the place for Cobra to eliminate the competition.
So we schlepped all the way to east Croatia, hungo-slavia-whatever to crash another party? No crashing.
Mr.
Chang's our ticket in.
Huh? He probably would've slept through the presentation, anyway.
Accused of a crime they didn't commit, a ragtag band of fugitives fights a covert battle to clear their names and expose the insidious enemy that is Cobra.
Some call them outlaws.
Some call them heroes.
But these determined men and women think of themselves only as ordinary Joes.
And this is their story.
Step lively, gentlemen.
Mr.
Chang demands respect.
You're enjoying this far too much.
You better hope the real Mr.
Chang doesn't wake up anytime soon.
After all the secret sauce snake eyes slipped him, I'm betting Chang doesn't wake up anytime this week.
Guten Tag.
My Mandarin is rusty.
Whoa.
What's with the racial? Just 'cause I look Chinese, you assume I speak it? But but you are the head of a Chinese phone company.
Hey, do I tell you how to run your business, gramps? Ow! Keep our gear close.
We're going in unarmed.
Doesn't feel right.
There should be guards crawling all over this room.
Unless someone else got here first.
What is this presentation? Why were we called here? Does anyone know? On behalf of Cobra Industries, I welcome you all to chateau Cisarovna.
Guys, looks like we have competition.
Someone took out security, and it wasn't us.
Copy that.
We'll keep a sharp eye here.
Ladies and gentlemen, my president and C.
E.
O.
, Adam Decobrray.
Thank you, Baroness, for opening your family's baronial estate to us all.
And I would especially like to thank all of you for attending this historic conference.
Ah, don't mention it.
You're about to get a sneak peak at our new flagship product.
I give you the future of cellular communications technology The Cobra Black Adder.
- I don't understand.
- This looks promising.
- Thank you.
What's the catch? - Danke schoen.
Ooh, free schwag.
Hand it over.
Eh, great.
One of you, fetch me some club soda.
The Black Adder's unique subliminal technology will enable you to send messages directly to their brains Advertising, calls to action, customer loyalty Completely and absolute loyalty.
Too many cooks spoil soup.
Since when does a cook carry a plasma-pulse weapon? I will ask the questions.
Who do you work for? We're sort of independent right now.
Maybe you've heard of us The Joes? We're all over Cobra News channel.
I do not watch Cobra News.
Propaganda is bad for digestion, - as are unexpected guests.
- Wait.
We have a mutual enemy.
Maybe we can trade information.
What kind of information? Lower your weapon, and we'll chat.
Scarlett.
What's going on? Come in.
This is not negotiation.
Talk and leave, or don't talk and don't leave.
The choice is yours.
She needs backup.
Go.
You know you're not really in charge, right? Now, if you will all turn your attention to your phones, you will be the first to witness a demonstration of Cobra's patented technology.
I've seen this show already, and I hated it the first time.
You are servants of Cobra.
You are loyal only to Cobra.
You serve without question.
Guys, we got problems.
Cobra ain't eliminating the competition.
They're mind-controlling them, with Tomax and Xamot's light show.
Come in.
Anybody? I can tell you right now, there's a roomful of innocent people who may be in danger.
No one is innocent.
You see this banquet! The Cisarovnas grow fat.
My people live on crumbs! Yo, what's cooking? Who is this guy? Someone with an ax to grind against the Baroness and her family.
You tell him we're on the same side? Got lost in translation.
Long live the October Guard! Long months of planning Scouting the chateau, waiting for Baroness to return wasted.
She still lives, thanks to American Joes from Cobra News.
That's what this is about Blowing up the Baroness? You'd have taken dozens of innocent lives with her.
Collateral damage.
A wise man once said, "blood is the price of victory.
" Carl Von Clausewitz.
Great Prussian general, Carl Von Clausewitz.
You've read him.
Yeah, I've read him.
Don't agree with him.
Oh, look.
It's a smorgasbord of fail.
Captain Anatoly Krimov.
Or should I call you "Red Star"? Where is your precious October Guard now? Everywhere.
We will not stop fighting the Cisarovnas until you all pay for your crimes against my people.
That was generations ago, peasant.
You became rich while thousands starved.
Know your place.
We ruled under the czars, then the communists, then the capitalists.
Cisarovnas were born to rule.
The October Guard will end your reign.
We will leave scorched earth where the House of Cisarovna once stood! Dude's hardcore.
If we're not careful, we could end up just like him.
I have to admire his passion.
Yeah, I hate to break up the mayday rally, but I got some big plans for your "yo, Joe" brains, courtesy of my psychic pals, Tomax and Xamot.
Don't blink or you might miss it.
Oh, wait.
You can't! Okay.
Find a fuse box, cut the power, no more light show.
You need to come with us.
You can't talk to me like that.
Don't you know who I am? Hey, stop! Come back here! Huh? Where'd he go? Snake Eyes, the phone.
We just gonna leave comrade Cuckoo? Yeah, we can't exactly trust him.
There's no time for debate.
Every C.
E.
O.
up at that summit was handed one of those hypno-phones, including Tunnel Rat.
How far do you think you'll get without your weapons? I've studied this chateau for months.
I know where the Baroness keeps her toys.
I got to say, seeing those two strapped down and helpless never gets old for me.
How long until the mind control becomes permanent? Relax, "B.
" Cerebral manipulation is not an exact science.
First I have to keep tweedledee and tweedledum from nodding off so they can do their hypno mojo.
Then I have to boost their psychic signal through that satellite dish.
Then beam it back to every single cellphone in that room, taking into account the complexity of each C.
E.
O.
's unique neural network.
How long? 20 minutes, 13 seconds.
The commander has high hopes for this project.
Once the C.
E.
O.
s are under our control, Cobra will have access to every communication satellite on the planet.
And then we beam the mesmerizing message worldwide.
Global mind control.
Talk about signal strength.
You'll get used to that.
As promised.
Why did you let the guards live? Because there are some lines we're not willing to cross.
Sadly, our mutual enemy does not share your weakness.
Yo, T-Rat, still in one piece? You need to get out of that party.
Meet us in the garage.
Cobra's using Tomax and Xamot to control the Way ahead of you.
The C.
E.
O.
s are just the beginning.
And the mind control's gonna get eternal in 15 minutes.
More than enough time to find safe distance from blast radius.
Man, you have an unhealthy fascination with blowing stuff up.
I planted enough explosives to destroy the entire chateau.
This will keep your mind control from spreading and send message to all Cisarovnas.
Not to mention spread a lot of innocent civilians all over this hillside.
Acceptable losses As Von Clausewitz said.
Von Clausewitz also said, "Never engage the same enemy too long, or he will adapt to your tactics.
" I fail to see how this applies to the Cisarovnas.
I'm talking about you.
You've been fighting the Cisarovnas so long, you've become as ruthless as they are.
You dare compare me to the Cisarovnas? I will sacrifice myself for the cause if necessary, as did my father and his father before him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Listen, Cobra's routing the mind-control signal through a satellite dish at the base of the mountain.
We take out the dish Free will, without casualties.
How much time? 10 minutes.
I will give you nine.
We need something to get us down the mountain fast.
Take your pick.
Is that what I think it is? Escaped? I want a complete aerial sweep.
Launch the flight pods now.
Okay.
Just like riding a bicycle.
- What was that? - That is trouble.
Cobra flight pods.
Trouble bubbles.
Tunnel Rat, Roadblock, buy me some time.
I'm gonna make a run at the dish.
Whoa! That works, too.
Why do you stay so close? To make sure you don't get an itchy detonator finger.
We're cutting it close.
Less than four minutes till Ivan the trigger-happy starts the fireworks.
Speaking of fireworks Yo, T-Rat, hold her steady, and I just might hit something.
Maybe you should quit your backseat driving and join the other powder bumps.
Duke, don't want to rush you, but we're under a minute.
Which means, by my clock, you're out of time, comrades.
I'm out.
Me too.
We have only one shot at this.
Scarlett, you're moving in too fast! My hero.
Told you you were moving in too fast.
Oh, my head.
Mindbender, we've lost the transmission.
Well, thanks for the news flash, mistress of the obvious.
Just let me reboot the system before Before we awaken And you surrender your will To the brothers of light? You will now show your obedience.
Oh, what was this, some kind of joke? - Waste of time.
- Never do business with them again.
You Joes would sacrifice yourselves to protect innocents.
Respect you.
Don't agree with you yet.
Only one of you Will leave this room alive.
Wow.
The local authorities.
Much as we would enjoy witnessing their agony, brother Our freedom must supercede our vengeance.
This will lead you back to town.
What about you, Red Star? My comrades and I have survived in these mountains for generations.
This is Red Star.
Operation has been aborted due to unacceptable potential civilian casualties.
Get your hands off of me, Mindbender! Whoa! What just Not good.
- Over here.
Over here, please.
- Thank you very much.
Brother, have you ever considered Spreading our influence through telecommunications? Synch by Benfo.