Go On s01e18 Episode Script
Double Down
1 I made everyone a music mix see if you can guess the theme.
Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, Mozart.
People who died too soon.
Too easy.
A little smug, Ryan.
Nobody likes a know-it-all.
Really? 'Cause I don't know anything.
I dig that.
[Turns on CD player.]
Hello, baby I wanted to bring in some outside tragedies.
Freshen things up a bit.
Yeah, this is the big bopper speaking [Laughs.]
- Why is Owen singing? - oh, you sweet thing It's not Owen.
It's the Big Bopper.
He was in that plane crash with Buddy Holly.
I thought it'd be a fun tragedy to start things off with.
Look, with all due respect [Turns off music.]
To Mr.
Bopper, I've got something fresh I need to deal with.
Losing Simone has really hit me kind of hard.
I mean, look what I'm missing.
I mean, look at that.
That's a picture of the night we first kissed.
- Oh, so romantic.
- Oh, my God.
And we are wasting time feeling bad for the guy from Blind Melon? Exactly.
What you need is a good breakup song.
My wife sent me CDs full of those when I was in Afghanistan.
If I had half a brain, I'd have known she was cheating on me.
But I didn't.
D-u-m.
Dumb.
No, Ryan needs a personalized breakup song, one that captures his singular grief.
Let's write it.
Simone you left me all alone - Yes, Ryan.
Jump in.
- You cut me to the bone Love it.
Anne, build on it.
- With your heart of stone I wouldn't say she had a heart of stone.
It doesn't matter.
This is bigger than you.
We've gotta serve the song.
My name is Ryan and I can't find love Great.
Why is Ryan unlovable? - Because he's a racist.
- Yes! - What? - My name is Ryan, I'm a bigot and you know what I mean I'm a racism machine - he's a racism machine - yeah And he's like to murder And he hates children And he kicks puppies has a big carbon footprint and he smells I miss Simone Perfect.
I'm all better.
Go On 1x18 Double Dow Simone was a great distraction.
And now as if on cue, this morning, I got Janie's life insurance check.
Both: Ooh.
Now I've got to think of an appropriate way to spend it.
Wow.
That's a lot of money.
A man could do some pretty crazy things to earn that much cash.
Ryan is guilty, he did it for the money Okay, you know what, no more Ryan songs.
That's the new rule.
I can't face my empty house.
I just don't want to be alone this weekend.
Well, with that, we can help you with.
Who's available to be with Ryan? I'm going to a bookstore.
I'm looking for a used copy - of a Flannery O'Connor.
- Hmm.
- There is bingo at la Iglesia Nuestra Señora del Sagrado Corazón.
I heard "bingo," and I did not hear "books.
" I'm in.
All right.
This, please.
I like your glasses.
Thanks.
I'd rather see well.
[Giggles.]
You're funny.
No, I'm not.
"A good man is hard to find.
" A good woman is harder to find, huh? Okay, what the hell is happening? I'm making conversation.
I think you're cute.
Uh, is this a cult? Because I'm an episcopalian.
We're right.
I'm good.
I wrote my number on your receipt.
What? Why? You are not making any sense.
You want to sit right here? Don't commit to seat too early.
We don't want to get stuck with a loser.
Loser, loser.
[Whispers.]
Loser.
Mi hijo! [Laughs.]
- [Whispers.]
Loser.
- Okay.
My friends, Lourdes, Maria, and Dorotea.
And b-I-n-g-o.
Bingo is my name-o.
Maybe I'll save the wordplay for people who speak English.
We speak English.
Oh, so just not funny then.
Okay.
- What's this? - It's horchata.
Traditional Mexican rice drink.
I spike it with something I use sometimes to get through Lauren's class.
[Both laugh.]
After we drink, it's custom you shout, "Andele, arriba.
" Andele, arriba.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Uno, dos All: Tres.
Andele, arriba! [Laughter.]
You're mean.
- Yes.
- [Laughs.]
Here we go.
B-2.
Ryan king, he said B-2.
You have.
Oh, I'm not playing.
I'm just hanging out.
I tend to get a little compulsive when it comes to gambling.
When I was younger Perdio Los cojones? [Women laugh.]
[Mockingly laughs.]
Don't need rosetta stone to recognize sass when I hear it.
Okay.
I'm in.
Cojones.
You're supposed to be a church group.
G-47, say G-47.
Come on! G-47.
Yes! I win! I win! Bingo! You can all go to [Holy music.]
Boy, there's a lot of pictures of Jesus in here.
We have a bingo.
- All right, yes! - Yes! Why does this feel so good? Because for one moment, this is all there is.
You can forget and live.
You're right.
You don't have to think about Simone or Janie or your insurance check or the fact that each beat of our heart is like a clock winding down.
Your pretty face It lose its luster.
[Doorbell rings.]
Hey, guys.
I'm so glad you're here.
We are gonna have a night.
Are you wearing makeup? No.
Yes.
My face has lost a little luster, so I went into my dead wife's makeup.
Come on in.
What are we doing here? Well, I didn't want to be alone, so we're gonna watch March Madness.
I don't know anything about college basketball.
You don't have to.
I learned a very interesting lesson today from Fausta.
Everything is better with gambling.
I think you get the wrong message.
Everything better with alcohol.
Sports are so boring.
How's gambling gonna make it better? I'll give you 20 bucks if the next shot goes in.
No.
That hardly He made it.
I'm lucky.
I'm not a curse! My parents were wrong! All: Three, two one- yeah! Pay up, Owen.
I guess I know a little bit more about basketball than you do.
No.
I really know this stuff.
Okay? I bet based on conference-winning percentage and RPI.
You bet based on something called the "do-ability factor.
" Okay.
Next game is Syracuse.
Come on, do not Owen on me.
Wait, I'm not synonymous with losing.
Of course not.
Shh, I'm calling my bookie.
Who do you like in the Missouri-Temple game? - Oh, you gotta go Missouri.
- Put 200 on Temple.
- Yeah, bet Temple for me.
- Everybody? I am on a hot streak.
Three wins, no Owens.
Where do you think you're going, man? I gotta tinkle.
Yeah, I just put a big bet on this game, and I've won the last three times when our knees are touching.
So there's an Afghan and a soda bottle.
Do what you need to do, man.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Ooh! - [Gasps.]
Oh, my God.
They just scored.
Owen, this position is good luck.
I'm not staying like this.
Spank him.
See if it helps.
Oh, steal.
It helps! Keep spanking me! Well, good luck with the tourney this weekend, coach.
- I'm feeling a win.
- Thanks, Ryan.
On the other hand, you are 20-point underdogs.
If Kansas has the game firmly in hand, would you just let them cover the spread? Wait, you have a son who sucks, right? Why don't you put him in the game, get the old lady off your ass? [Dial tone.]
Coach? And we'll be right back.
Are you gambling again? Yeah.
I'm having so much fun with it.
I can't even remember why I stopped.
I remember why.
Back in college Guys, I'm not Ryan King.
I don't care.
The colts lost.
Pay me.
How much that stereo cost? - 600 bucks.
- Give me your shoes too.
- Those L.
L.
Bean socks? - Yeah.
- Is that a toe ring? Whoa.
I don't want it.
I just felt I needed it to be commented on.
[Laughter.]
I'm not watching you do this.
You had a toe ring and a grunge mullet, and I'm the one getting an intervention? You're an addict.
You promised Janie you'd never do this again.
Well, she's not exactly here anymore to stop me, is she? No.
But you remember the way she'd look at you, those big blue eyes judging you while believing in you? [As Janie.]
Ryan, you're a better man than this.
Be better for me.
Wow.
It's a big swing.
Ooh.
Hate myself right now.
Guys.
Why is Anne with the hottest woman I've ever seen? [Sweet sour by band of skulls.]
I Sweet sour, sweet sour Oh, my.
Sweet sour That Sweet sour - interests me.
- sour by the minute but you're sweeter by the hour What I'm feeling is getting more.
Oh.
Good, good.
Owen's not here.
So we had fun at my house last night, right? So I figured we get a little betting action here in group today.
Are you wearing makeup again? Just a little blush.
I'm comfortable with it.
Okay, so Owen sounds like the Big Bopper.
So we're gonna compete and try to get him to say lines from Chantilly Lace.
Everybody kicks in some money.
Dollar values are on the board and on these cheat sheets.
Sonia, you mind passing that around, please? Okay.
"Hello, baby.
" "You know what I like.
" "Will I what?" Those are the easy ones.
20 bucks.
"Long-necked goose," "the Big Bopper Everest.
" [Clears throat.]
Hey.
Don't forget to sign up for little league, buddy boy.
Hello, baby.
Hi.
[Groans.]
You suck.
Owen, do you like ice cream? Yeah, I like ice cream.
I know you like ice cream, but what do you like? You know what I like.
- [Gasps.]
- And that's how it's done! Oh, baby, that's what I like Oh, sorry.
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Hey, treasure.
You look dapper.
Are those new cords? No.
They're the ones that my uncle died in.
Ooh, what a hoot, this guy.
Silly.
Anne, you're in a very good mood.
- There is a girl.
- She's got a girlfriend.
- And she is smoking.
- With what kind of face? - With a nice face.
- "With a nice face"? With a pretty face.
- I hate you so much.
- Sonia.
- Hello, baby.
- "Hello, baby"? Yes.
Anne, this is a huge breakthrough.
Okay, tell us about your smokin' lady.
Oh, there's nothing really to tell.
I mean, she's very special.
I guess she's attractive.
I really haven't noticed.
- Oh, come on.
- Oh, shut up.
She's very intelligent.
I met her at the independent bookstore - where she works.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You mean you know someone smart enough to put books on shelves? Oh, we're doing this.
Yeah.
Back off.
I'm not like you two.
No, no.
I'm looking forward to meeting her tonight.
We'll do a little March Madness, place some bets, and then I'll invite my good friend Stephen Hawking over, so she'll have someone to talk to.
- Crosstown it.
- There's a train coming.
Fine.
We'll be there.
- You guys are betting? - Mm-hmm.
No, gambling can lead you down a very dangerous path.
Oh, no.
That's just for normal people.
We're compulsive and prone to spirals and poor judgment.
Gambling is an illness that has affected people very close to me.
20 bucks says it's her father.
- My own father - Whoa! [Softly.]
Ohh.
My own father almost tore our family apart with his selfish and destructive actions.
Now I want you all to promise me no more gambling.
[All murmuring in agreement.]
We promise.
- Nope.
- Excuse me? I've been going through a very hard time.
I'm having fun.
I can handle it.
Okay.
Well, I hope you can.
I hope it stays fun, and you don't lose everything.
Your daughter's college fund and her trust and her future.
Okay, maybe I'll stop.
Owen, will you buggle my frogger ham basket? - Will I what? - Big bopper.
- Oh.
- 20 bucks.
I'm not stopping.
I am hot.
[Laughs.]
- Remember how it was so much fun betting with Ryan - Oh, come on! Yeah, it's taken a turn.
Hey, guys.
I'm on a little bit of a bad streak, but I feel much better now that you're here.
I got action on three basketball games and a Scottish caber tossing competition.
You gotta get back on "D.
" I can't believe you missed that shot.
You call that log tossing, ya bogger hoor-mister! Who's that? Oh, that's my horse guy, Marty.
Don't worry about him.
My tout's moving three dimes on a kingsland superfecta.
I love this guy, can't understand a word he says.
Put $500 on that.
Hey, everyone.
- This is the lovely and fun - [Giggles.]
- And intelligent Brittney.
We were just at an art museum.
Was she on display? [Cackles.]
I can't handle this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yes.
My luck's turning around.
What's happening? What's different? Anne's girlfriend is here.
You, you You're good luck.
Come sit over here.
So which one is basketball and which one is log tossing? - Scoot over.
- Yes, yes! You are my new best friend.
Brittney, tell Ryan about the art museum.
Oh, I was hoping there would be dinosaurs.
You like dinosaurs, brittney? No, honey, we talked about this.
The dinosaurs are at the natural history museum.
But there's nothing natural about the dinosaurs becoming instinct.
"Instinct"? Uh I thought you were dumb.
She's not dumb.
I'm dumb.
Me is.
You try too hard.
Is desperate.
Brittney is smart.
Brittney, tell them what we were talking about at dinner last night.
Oh, you asked me what my favorite book was.
- Yeah.
- I said to read or to look at.
And then you made out with me.
What was it like? Did her spit taste like strawberries? Hey, remember Dumb Donald from Fat Albert? What about Dumb Danny? [Slurring.]
Hey, gamblin'-ba Ryan-ba.
Oh, my God.
- I'm dating Hot Danny.
- Mm-hmm.
That voice you're doing, that's mushmouth.
- My bu-bad.
- Stop it.
Hey, what the hell? - You're all enabling an addict.
- Attic? Like he can't control himself or the top of a house? - What's the point? - I'm fine.
I'm shutting you down.
I called your money guy.
- Your accounts are frozen, buddy.
- I'm out.
- Bye.
- What? Marty, I thought we were best friends.
All right, look.
It's fine.
I just got to win this one last bet, and then I'm flush.
You lost? You were supposed to be a lock.
[Overlapping shouting.]
All: Oh! I did that for you.
Me.
Marty, Marty, Marty.
It's like I don't even exist! So after Ryan's party, I told Brittney it was over.
I was kidding myself.
Dating someone like that It's embarrassing.
I need Patty.
I owe her better than to replace her with some bimbo.
You're not replacing her, and you're allowed to have fun.
And if Patty was as great as you say she was, she'd want you to be happy.
- Mm-hmm.
- Brittney did make me happy.
She took me roller-skating.
We got fake braids together.
Look.
[Group ohs.]
- Wow.
- Like katniss.
- Hmm.
- I really miss her.
Okay.
I may not be the brightest bulb, but I spent ten years in a marriage that didn't work at all.
You found something that makes you happy.
After all you've been through, why are we talking? Go to her.
Now.
Okay.
You're right.
I'm gonna go.
That was really smart.
Don't make a habit of it.
I guess Ryan's not coming, huh? Yeah, he was in a bad way last night.
He's in the city of Temecula.
There's a big casino there.
My dad used to go.
How do you know where he is? Oh, I hacked into all of your phones, so I can always find the people I love.
So you can track all of us? Oh.
Hi.
Yolanda, I didn't know you were here.
But all his money's cut off.
What's he using to play? It's my wife's life insurance check.
You've probably seen a lot of stuff way worse than this, right? Don't answer that.
All right, gentlemen.
Place your bets.
Here's a bet.
And it's a sure thing.
Walk away from this table.
Go all-in on yourself, and when you experience self-love, there's your jackpot.
What, we're not all bringing our grief counselors? Ryan, you have got to stop gambling.
I fold.
I'm out.
Look, you're bad luck.
You gotta leave.
Oh, no, no, no.
She's good luck.
- The hooker stays.
- [Clears throat.]
I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm not leaving.
Then neither am I.
I learned some things from my dad.
Deal me in.
What? You don't gamble.
I do tonight.
Gambling is all about the thrill, whether you're gonna win or lose.
Well, I'm gonna take that thrill away, Buster, 'cause I'm gonna beat you, every time.
Get ready to hit rock bottom.
Buckle up, dirtbags.
I'm gonna take your money and call you lady names.
You got a problem with that, Mary? - Leave the cigar in your bag.
- Nope.
- Hi.
- You look nice.
I'm wearing the braid.
- I know.
- Yeah.
Brittney, I miss this.
I'm sorry.
I got so caught up in what I thought that you should be that I didn't appreciate what you are Someone I love being around.
Anne, I may not know a lot about books or movies or third things to end lists with, but I know this much.
I deserve to be with someone who's proud of me.
Good-bye.
You've got great arms.
Would you like to get a drink? What is this place? Is anyone buying books? - I'm all-in.
- Whoo! Big bet.
Should I fold? You look confident.
Although you are breathing through your nose, which you do when you're withholding and experiencing deep inner turmoil.
I call.
Hey, that's not fair.
You can't use therapy stuff against me.
That's a breach.
Dude, your hooker's in your head.
Set of jacks.
Boom! A flush as in "whoosh!" Your hopes and dreams, your hopes and dreams, your hopes and dreams, your hopes and dreams.
All right, that's it.
I'm out, I'm out.
You have ruined gambling for me.
Come on, let's go.
[Clears throat.]
Ladies.
I can't believe I lost all of Janie's money.
I am really out of control.
Look.
I'm gonna give you back Janie's money.
It wasn't fair, I was in your head.
I know what you're thinking.
Oh, yeah? What am I thinking right now? That now you have to go home and deal with your loneliness.
And that you're angry, but like a little bit aroused by how badly I beat you back there.
[Scoffs.]
That's exactly what I was thinking.
You are really good.
You're gonna be good.
You're strong.
You are too.
You were on fire back there.
And then to walk away from the table while you're still up? Yeah, it's a benefit from my weight-loss journey.
I've learned to control my compulsions.
What's that? What'd you just do right there? Oh, my God.
I think I accidentally put a chip on the roulette table.
Red, seven.
[Growling roar.]
Yeah! That's a new sound out of you.
I don't care for it.
Let's go.
Oh, no, no, no.
I can double this.
- Let's go.
- I never get to have any fun.
- Let's go.
- I'm so hungry! [Knock at door.]
Yeah.
Hey.
I blew it with Brittney.
Come on in.
I figured if anybody would understand what I'm going through, it's you.
Yeah.
Here, look.
It's me and Simone.
Oh, we're doing this? [Phone beeps.]
It's Brittney's butt.
Oh.
I used to drop stuff just so she'd pick it up.
[Chuckles.]
You know what the worst part is? Mm? I was getting used to being alone.
And then I met someone And it reminds you of what it feels like to not be alone.
And now being alone is so much worse.
So bad.
It's gonna be really hard to meet someone.
Oh.
With our baggage, the guilt, comparing everyone to the people that we lost.
I don't know about you, but I was pretty bad at it before.
Ugh, I always go out with the wrong people.
I once went on a date with a girl - I married a guy.
- Okay, you win.
We need a fresh start.
It's hard with this constant reminder.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Ready? Nope.
Three, two, one Let go.
[Exhales.]
Oh, honey.
We're gonna be okay.
Yeah.
Here.
Take that.
Okay.
[High-pitched.]
Thanks, King.
[High-pitched.]
So tell me about your husband.
Was he anything like me? Yes.
I'll bet you 50 bucks my voice returns to normal faster.
- [Normal voice.]
You're on.
- I win.
Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, Mozart.
People who died too soon.
Too easy.
A little smug, Ryan.
Nobody likes a know-it-all.
Really? 'Cause I don't know anything.
I dig that.
[Turns on CD player.]
Hello, baby I wanted to bring in some outside tragedies.
Freshen things up a bit.
Yeah, this is the big bopper speaking [Laughs.]
- Why is Owen singing? - oh, you sweet thing It's not Owen.
It's the Big Bopper.
He was in that plane crash with Buddy Holly.
I thought it'd be a fun tragedy to start things off with.
Look, with all due respect [Turns off music.]
To Mr.
Bopper, I've got something fresh I need to deal with.
Losing Simone has really hit me kind of hard.
I mean, look what I'm missing.
I mean, look at that.
That's a picture of the night we first kissed.
- Oh, so romantic.
- Oh, my God.
And we are wasting time feeling bad for the guy from Blind Melon? Exactly.
What you need is a good breakup song.
My wife sent me CDs full of those when I was in Afghanistan.
If I had half a brain, I'd have known she was cheating on me.
But I didn't.
D-u-m.
Dumb.
No, Ryan needs a personalized breakup song, one that captures his singular grief.
Let's write it.
Simone you left me all alone - Yes, Ryan.
Jump in.
- You cut me to the bone Love it.
Anne, build on it.
- With your heart of stone I wouldn't say she had a heart of stone.
It doesn't matter.
This is bigger than you.
We've gotta serve the song.
My name is Ryan and I can't find love Great.
Why is Ryan unlovable? - Because he's a racist.
- Yes! - What? - My name is Ryan, I'm a bigot and you know what I mean I'm a racism machine - he's a racism machine - yeah And he's like to murder And he hates children And he kicks puppies has a big carbon footprint and he smells I miss Simone Perfect.
I'm all better.
Go On 1x18 Double Dow Simone was a great distraction.
And now as if on cue, this morning, I got Janie's life insurance check.
Both: Ooh.
Now I've got to think of an appropriate way to spend it.
Wow.
That's a lot of money.
A man could do some pretty crazy things to earn that much cash.
Ryan is guilty, he did it for the money Okay, you know what, no more Ryan songs.
That's the new rule.
I can't face my empty house.
I just don't want to be alone this weekend.
Well, with that, we can help you with.
Who's available to be with Ryan? I'm going to a bookstore.
I'm looking for a used copy - of a Flannery O'Connor.
- Hmm.
- There is bingo at la Iglesia Nuestra Señora del Sagrado Corazón.
I heard "bingo," and I did not hear "books.
" I'm in.
All right.
This, please.
I like your glasses.
Thanks.
I'd rather see well.
[Giggles.]
You're funny.
No, I'm not.
"A good man is hard to find.
" A good woman is harder to find, huh? Okay, what the hell is happening? I'm making conversation.
I think you're cute.
Uh, is this a cult? Because I'm an episcopalian.
We're right.
I'm good.
I wrote my number on your receipt.
What? Why? You are not making any sense.
You want to sit right here? Don't commit to seat too early.
We don't want to get stuck with a loser.
Loser, loser.
[Whispers.]
Loser.
Mi hijo! [Laughs.]
- [Whispers.]
Loser.
- Okay.
My friends, Lourdes, Maria, and Dorotea.
And b-I-n-g-o.
Bingo is my name-o.
Maybe I'll save the wordplay for people who speak English.
We speak English.
Oh, so just not funny then.
Okay.
- What's this? - It's horchata.
Traditional Mexican rice drink.
I spike it with something I use sometimes to get through Lauren's class.
[Both laugh.]
After we drink, it's custom you shout, "Andele, arriba.
" Andele, arriba.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Uno, dos All: Tres.
Andele, arriba! [Laughter.]
You're mean.
- Yes.
- [Laughs.]
Here we go.
B-2.
Ryan king, he said B-2.
You have.
Oh, I'm not playing.
I'm just hanging out.
I tend to get a little compulsive when it comes to gambling.
When I was younger Perdio Los cojones? [Women laugh.]
[Mockingly laughs.]
Don't need rosetta stone to recognize sass when I hear it.
Okay.
I'm in.
Cojones.
You're supposed to be a church group.
G-47, say G-47.
Come on! G-47.
Yes! I win! I win! Bingo! You can all go to [Holy music.]
Boy, there's a lot of pictures of Jesus in here.
We have a bingo.
- All right, yes! - Yes! Why does this feel so good? Because for one moment, this is all there is.
You can forget and live.
You're right.
You don't have to think about Simone or Janie or your insurance check or the fact that each beat of our heart is like a clock winding down.
Your pretty face It lose its luster.
[Doorbell rings.]
Hey, guys.
I'm so glad you're here.
We are gonna have a night.
Are you wearing makeup? No.
Yes.
My face has lost a little luster, so I went into my dead wife's makeup.
Come on in.
What are we doing here? Well, I didn't want to be alone, so we're gonna watch March Madness.
I don't know anything about college basketball.
You don't have to.
I learned a very interesting lesson today from Fausta.
Everything is better with gambling.
I think you get the wrong message.
Everything better with alcohol.
Sports are so boring.
How's gambling gonna make it better? I'll give you 20 bucks if the next shot goes in.
No.
That hardly He made it.
I'm lucky.
I'm not a curse! My parents were wrong! All: Three, two one- yeah! Pay up, Owen.
I guess I know a little bit more about basketball than you do.
No.
I really know this stuff.
Okay? I bet based on conference-winning percentage and RPI.
You bet based on something called the "do-ability factor.
" Okay.
Next game is Syracuse.
Come on, do not Owen on me.
Wait, I'm not synonymous with losing.
Of course not.
Shh, I'm calling my bookie.
Who do you like in the Missouri-Temple game? - Oh, you gotta go Missouri.
- Put 200 on Temple.
- Yeah, bet Temple for me.
- Everybody? I am on a hot streak.
Three wins, no Owens.
Where do you think you're going, man? I gotta tinkle.
Yeah, I just put a big bet on this game, and I've won the last three times when our knees are touching.
So there's an Afghan and a soda bottle.
Do what you need to do, man.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Ooh! - [Gasps.]
Oh, my God.
They just scored.
Owen, this position is good luck.
I'm not staying like this.
Spank him.
See if it helps.
Oh, steal.
It helps! Keep spanking me! Well, good luck with the tourney this weekend, coach.
- I'm feeling a win.
- Thanks, Ryan.
On the other hand, you are 20-point underdogs.
If Kansas has the game firmly in hand, would you just let them cover the spread? Wait, you have a son who sucks, right? Why don't you put him in the game, get the old lady off your ass? [Dial tone.]
Coach? And we'll be right back.
Are you gambling again? Yeah.
I'm having so much fun with it.
I can't even remember why I stopped.
I remember why.
Back in college Guys, I'm not Ryan King.
I don't care.
The colts lost.
Pay me.
How much that stereo cost? - 600 bucks.
- Give me your shoes too.
- Those L.
L.
Bean socks? - Yeah.
- Is that a toe ring? Whoa.
I don't want it.
I just felt I needed it to be commented on.
[Laughter.]
I'm not watching you do this.
You had a toe ring and a grunge mullet, and I'm the one getting an intervention? You're an addict.
You promised Janie you'd never do this again.
Well, she's not exactly here anymore to stop me, is she? No.
But you remember the way she'd look at you, those big blue eyes judging you while believing in you? [As Janie.]
Ryan, you're a better man than this.
Be better for me.
Wow.
It's a big swing.
Ooh.
Hate myself right now.
Guys.
Why is Anne with the hottest woman I've ever seen? [Sweet sour by band of skulls.]
I Sweet sour, sweet sour Oh, my.
Sweet sour That Sweet sour - interests me.
- sour by the minute but you're sweeter by the hour What I'm feeling is getting more.
Oh.
Good, good.
Owen's not here.
So we had fun at my house last night, right? So I figured we get a little betting action here in group today.
Are you wearing makeup again? Just a little blush.
I'm comfortable with it.
Okay, so Owen sounds like the Big Bopper.
So we're gonna compete and try to get him to say lines from Chantilly Lace.
Everybody kicks in some money.
Dollar values are on the board and on these cheat sheets.
Sonia, you mind passing that around, please? Okay.
"Hello, baby.
" "You know what I like.
" "Will I what?" Those are the easy ones.
20 bucks.
"Long-necked goose," "the Big Bopper Everest.
" [Clears throat.]
Hey.
Don't forget to sign up for little league, buddy boy.
Hello, baby.
Hi.
[Groans.]
You suck.
Owen, do you like ice cream? Yeah, I like ice cream.
I know you like ice cream, but what do you like? You know what I like.
- [Gasps.]
- And that's how it's done! Oh, baby, that's what I like Oh, sorry.
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Hey, treasure.
You look dapper.
Are those new cords? No.
They're the ones that my uncle died in.
Ooh, what a hoot, this guy.
Silly.
Anne, you're in a very good mood.
- There is a girl.
- She's got a girlfriend.
- And she is smoking.
- With what kind of face? - With a nice face.
- "With a nice face"? With a pretty face.
- I hate you so much.
- Sonia.
- Hello, baby.
- "Hello, baby"? Yes.
Anne, this is a huge breakthrough.
Okay, tell us about your smokin' lady.
Oh, there's nothing really to tell.
I mean, she's very special.
I guess she's attractive.
I really haven't noticed.
- Oh, come on.
- Oh, shut up.
She's very intelligent.
I met her at the independent bookstore - where she works.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You mean you know someone smart enough to put books on shelves? Oh, we're doing this.
Yeah.
Back off.
I'm not like you two.
No, no.
I'm looking forward to meeting her tonight.
We'll do a little March Madness, place some bets, and then I'll invite my good friend Stephen Hawking over, so she'll have someone to talk to.
- Crosstown it.
- There's a train coming.
Fine.
We'll be there.
- You guys are betting? - Mm-hmm.
No, gambling can lead you down a very dangerous path.
Oh, no.
That's just for normal people.
We're compulsive and prone to spirals and poor judgment.
Gambling is an illness that has affected people very close to me.
20 bucks says it's her father.
- My own father - Whoa! [Softly.]
Ohh.
My own father almost tore our family apart with his selfish and destructive actions.
Now I want you all to promise me no more gambling.
[All murmuring in agreement.]
We promise.
- Nope.
- Excuse me? I've been going through a very hard time.
I'm having fun.
I can handle it.
Okay.
Well, I hope you can.
I hope it stays fun, and you don't lose everything.
Your daughter's college fund and her trust and her future.
Okay, maybe I'll stop.
Owen, will you buggle my frogger ham basket? - Will I what? - Big bopper.
- Oh.
- 20 bucks.
I'm not stopping.
I am hot.
[Laughs.]
- Remember how it was so much fun betting with Ryan - Oh, come on! Yeah, it's taken a turn.
Hey, guys.
I'm on a little bit of a bad streak, but I feel much better now that you're here.
I got action on three basketball games and a Scottish caber tossing competition.
You gotta get back on "D.
" I can't believe you missed that shot.
You call that log tossing, ya bogger hoor-mister! Who's that? Oh, that's my horse guy, Marty.
Don't worry about him.
My tout's moving three dimes on a kingsland superfecta.
I love this guy, can't understand a word he says.
Put $500 on that.
Hey, everyone.
- This is the lovely and fun - [Giggles.]
- And intelligent Brittney.
We were just at an art museum.
Was she on display? [Cackles.]
I can't handle this.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Yes.
My luck's turning around.
What's happening? What's different? Anne's girlfriend is here.
You, you You're good luck.
Come sit over here.
So which one is basketball and which one is log tossing? - Scoot over.
- Yes, yes! You are my new best friend.
Brittney, tell Ryan about the art museum.
Oh, I was hoping there would be dinosaurs.
You like dinosaurs, brittney? No, honey, we talked about this.
The dinosaurs are at the natural history museum.
But there's nothing natural about the dinosaurs becoming instinct.
"Instinct"? Uh I thought you were dumb.
She's not dumb.
I'm dumb.
Me is.
You try too hard.
Is desperate.
Brittney is smart.
Brittney, tell them what we were talking about at dinner last night.
Oh, you asked me what my favorite book was.
- Yeah.
- I said to read or to look at.
And then you made out with me.
What was it like? Did her spit taste like strawberries? Hey, remember Dumb Donald from Fat Albert? What about Dumb Danny? [Slurring.]
Hey, gamblin'-ba Ryan-ba.
Oh, my God.
- I'm dating Hot Danny.
- Mm-hmm.
That voice you're doing, that's mushmouth.
- My bu-bad.
- Stop it.
Hey, what the hell? - You're all enabling an addict.
- Attic? Like he can't control himself or the top of a house? - What's the point? - I'm fine.
I'm shutting you down.
I called your money guy.
- Your accounts are frozen, buddy.
- I'm out.
- Bye.
- What? Marty, I thought we were best friends.
All right, look.
It's fine.
I just got to win this one last bet, and then I'm flush.
You lost? You were supposed to be a lock.
[Overlapping shouting.]
All: Oh! I did that for you.
Me.
Marty, Marty, Marty.
It's like I don't even exist! So after Ryan's party, I told Brittney it was over.
I was kidding myself.
Dating someone like that It's embarrassing.
I need Patty.
I owe her better than to replace her with some bimbo.
You're not replacing her, and you're allowed to have fun.
And if Patty was as great as you say she was, she'd want you to be happy.
- Mm-hmm.
- Brittney did make me happy.
She took me roller-skating.
We got fake braids together.
Look.
[Group ohs.]
- Wow.
- Like katniss.
- Hmm.
- I really miss her.
Okay.
I may not be the brightest bulb, but I spent ten years in a marriage that didn't work at all.
You found something that makes you happy.
After all you've been through, why are we talking? Go to her.
Now.
Okay.
You're right.
I'm gonna go.
That was really smart.
Don't make a habit of it.
I guess Ryan's not coming, huh? Yeah, he was in a bad way last night.
He's in the city of Temecula.
There's a big casino there.
My dad used to go.
How do you know where he is? Oh, I hacked into all of your phones, so I can always find the people I love.
So you can track all of us? Oh.
Hi.
Yolanda, I didn't know you were here.
But all his money's cut off.
What's he using to play? It's my wife's life insurance check.
You've probably seen a lot of stuff way worse than this, right? Don't answer that.
All right, gentlemen.
Place your bets.
Here's a bet.
And it's a sure thing.
Walk away from this table.
Go all-in on yourself, and when you experience self-love, there's your jackpot.
What, we're not all bringing our grief counselors? Ryan, you have got to stop gambling.
I fold.
I'm out.
Look, you're bad luck.
You gotta leave.
Oh, no, no, no.
She's good luck.
- The hooker stays.
- [Clears throat.]
I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I'm not leaving.
Then neither am I.
I learned some things from my dad.
Deal me in.
What? You don't gamble.
I do tonight.
Gambling is all about the thrill, whether you're gonna win or lose.
Well, I'm gonna take that thrill away, Buster, 'cause I'm gonna beat you, every time.
Get ready to hit rock bottom.
Buckle up, dirtbags.
I'm gonna take your money and call you lady names.
You got a problem with that, Mary? - Leave the cigar in your bag.
- Nope.
- Hi.
- You look nice.
I'm wearing the braid.
- I know.
- Yeah.
Brittney, I miss this.
I'm sorry.
I got so caught up in what I thought that you should be that I didn't appreciate what you are Someone I love being around.
Anne, I may not know a lot about books or movies or third things to end lists with, but I know this much.
I deserve to be with someone who's proud of me.
Good-bye.
You've got great arms.
Would you like to get a drink? What is this place? Is anyone buying books? - I'm all-in.
- Whoo! Big bet.
Should I fold? You look confident.
Although you are breathing through your nose, which you do when you're withholding and experiencing deep inner turmoil.
I call.
Hey, that's not fair.
You can't use therapy stuff against me.
That's a breach.
Dude, your hooker's in your head.
Set of jacks.
Boom! A flush as in "whoosh!" Your hopes and dreams, your hopes and dreams, your hopes and dreams, your hopes and dreams.
All right, that's it.
I'm out, I'm out.
You have ruined gambling for me.
Come on, let's go.
[Clears throat.]
Ladies.
I can't believe I lost all of Janie's money.
I am really out of control.
Look.
I'm gonna give you back Janie's money.
It wasn't fair, I was in your head.
I know what you're thinking.
Oh, yeah? What am I thinking right now? That now you have to go home and deal with your loneliness.
And that you're angry, but like a little bit aroused by how badly I beat you back there.
[Scoffs.]
That's exactly what I was thinking.
You are really good.
You're gonna be good.
You're strong.
You are too.
You were on fire back there.
And then to walk away from the table while you're still up? Yeah, it's a benefit from my weight-loss journey.
I've learned to control my compulsions.
What's that? What'd you just do right there? Oh, my God.
I think I accidentally put a chip on the roulette table.
Red, seven.
[Growling roar.]
Yeah! That's a new sound out of you.
I don't care for it.
Let's go.
Oh, no, no, no.
I can double this.
- Let's go.
- I never get to have any fun.
- Let's go.
- I'm so hungry! [Knock at door.]
Yeah.
Hey.
I blew it with Brittney.
Come on in.
I figured if anybody would understand what I'm going through, it's you.
Yeah.
Here, look.
It's me and Simone.
Oh, we're doing this? [Phone beeps.]
It's Brittney's butt.
Oh.
I used to drop stuff just so she'd pick it up.
[Chuckles.]
You know what the worst part is? Mm? I was getting used to being alone.
And then I met someone And it reminds you of what it feels like to not be alone.
And now being alone is so much worse.
So bad.
It's gonna be really hard to meet someone.
Oh.
With our baggage, the guilt, comparing everyone to the people that we lost.
I don't know about you, but I was pretty bad at it before.
Ugh, I always go out with the wrong people.
I once went on a date with a girl - I married a guy.
- Okay, you win.
We need a fresh start.
It's hard with this constant reminder.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Ready? Nope.
Three, two, one Let go.
[Exhales.]
Oh, honey.
We're gonna be okay.
Yeah.
Here.
Take that.
Okay.
[High-pitched.]
Thanks, King.
[High-pitched.]
So tell me about your husband.
Was he anything like me? Yes.
I'll bet you 50 bucks my voice returns to normal faster.
- [Normal voice.]
You're on.
- I win.