Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018) s01e18 Episode Script

Wow! Welcome to the Forbidden City, gang.
Now remember, when we meet the Emperor let me do the talking.
Not gonna lie, he digs me.
Can we buy some stuff? Yeah, what's the per diem situation? I'm hungry.
Where can I find some corn? How about we save the shopping and corn for later, okay? Dragon Master knows best.
Yo, bubba, are you clocking the eyes on us? Totally normal.
Okay, now they're screaming.
It's them.
It's the Four Constellations! What is that? Any suggestions? Uh, yeah.
We should run.
Now! Would you sign my baby? Palace! Straight ahead! Huh! Stop! I order you I told you I knew the way.
Nothing to worry about.
Can we worry now? Put your weapons down.
Immediately! Welcome to the Forbidden City, Master Po.
Just incredible.
I had no idea this tunnel even existed.
I can still see the chi trail.
Let's keep following.
You're kidding me! It's over already? But you guys were so good together.
She wanted a litter, I didn't.
Those are the same type of guards who were trying to kill Li.
Spider, can you eat 'em or something? Trust me, you do not want to be in a cave with me after I've had dog.
I'll handle it.
Just need a pair of chopsticks.
One blow to their No one is hurting anyone.
- There must be another - So what happened? She broke up with him.
And then he starts crying about it.
Oh! We're trapped! Cart and I are not going out this way! Ping! Stop! There is something seriously wrong with that goose.
Yeah, well, she was a dog anyway.
Oh! Aah! Use your chi! What was that? It felt like my hands farted.
Without the Wellspring our chi must be Unhand Grandma! She's got bad knees! Oh, no! Ah! Run! We're not leaving you! Yes, we are! Zhizhu? Zhizhu? Oh.
Find the Wellspring! That's all that matters now.
I'm all right, by the way.
Thanks for asking.
I am so sorry to hear of the Emperor's passing, your Emperess-es ness.
Thank you, Master Po.
It was sudden, but I'm managing.
Daddy, why? Why? I got this.
I really doubt that.
Empress Xiao, as the Four Constellation's fan favorite, I want you to know the Bao is here for you.
The Bao? Is he kidding? Sadly, I don't think so.
Bao? I read your book.
It has been very popular among my people.
I thought you were taller.
"Taller".
Yeah, that was meant to be a little bit more on the metaphorical side.
But as you can see Which one of you is Fan Tong? What? I'm Fan Tong.
That's me.
In the book you're described as "The Constellation who always cries "The one everyone laughs at.
" Did Bao write that? Thanks, Bao.
Although, you arrive during sad tidings, Daddy's request still stands.
Will you help me to investigate the drought that is plaguing our people? It would be our honor, Empress.
I'm sure Dragon Master Po and his students would like to rest first.
Ah, nah, we're good.
Right, kids? - Yeah.
- Totally.
- Let's do this.
- Perfect.
Let me show you my palace.
I like her.
Coming, "The Bao"? Grab anything that isn't nailed down.
And be smart about it! I'm gonna check out the accommodations.
So you've really been to the Spirit Realm? I want to hear all of your heroic stories.
Okay.
"Heroic"? Fan Tong? Leave Fan Tong alone.
Yeah.
I think it's cute the Empress likes him.
Please.
She's way too old for him.
She's fifteen.
Fan Tong's thirteen.
Exactly.
She's ancient.
Way out of his league.
The Empress! Actually I think that was Fan Tong.
Fan Tong, buddy, what's wrong? Over there.
I feel like I've seen these before.
Oh, Fan Tong, you comedian, those are Daddy's terracotta warriors.
"Terracotta" what? Statues.
The Emperor will be laid to rest with them tomorrow.
They are here to protect his journey into the afterlife.
That's not what I was pointing at.
That's what I was pointing at.
We're supposed to be alone down here.
Shi Long, watch the Empress.
Kids.
Master Po! Over here! No, over here! There! Don't let him get away! I got him! Huh? It's a servant.
That's one of the kitchen rabbits.
What is she doing down here? No idea.
Hold on.
Uh.
She'll need to rest but she should be fine in a day or so.
We heard an explosion.
The Empress Is fine.
This servant girl will need medical attention.
You okay? Just a little depleted.
I should have called out a warning.
If you had, and she'd been a real threat, one of us might be dead.
Hmm Did anyone bring water? Cart is getting very dehydrated.
What's the deal with the goose? Little brain stir-fry? I don't know.
Why are you asking me? You guys have a kid together right? I figured since you're married What! I We are not married! We live together! In a one room apartment! That's all! If you two are finished flirting, we have a problem here.
Hmm.
Is that a lake? Is there a lake in the middle of the tunnel? Yes.
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
The country's in the middle of a drought and there's an unused lake just sitting here? You know, if we bottled and sold this water, to people in need, of course, we could make a fortune.
What a humanitarian.
How are we gonna get across this? Congratulations, this idea is terrible.
Don't listen to her, Cart, you're doing just fine.
We are still sinking.
We need to lighten the load.
I agree.
Grandma, it's been nice knowing you.
Don't think so, birdy.
Oh no! What are you doing? You are gonna pay for that! I wouldn't pay for it on land, why should I pay for it now? Well Uh, guys? Oh, please - Guys? - What was that? There's something in this water! Faster! You're such great sea men.
There! An island! You were amazing in the catacombs.
When you screamed, I could really feel your bravery.
Wow.
Thanks.
If you'd have been any closer you would have felt something else.
I have over active glands.
I get sweaty when I'm scared.
Or just having a conversation.
Like now.
Oh! You thought I was talking about tinkle, didn't you? The thought did cross my mind.
Make a sound and I snap your neck.
What were you thinking trying to attack Po and the Constellations in front of the Empress? She could have been harmed.
I am sorry, exalted one.
I was simply doing reconnaissance.
It nearly ruined everything.
You and the others cannot fail.
By sundown tomorrow, Po and the Four Constellations must be dead.
What? Oh.
Hello, hello.
How are you? So good to see you.
I was just, you know, looking for some corn.
Guards! Run away! I didn't see anything! These aren't even my eyes! Nice doggy.
Wanna play fetch? You people make our country great.
You are the heroes of this story.
So what do you think? Too down? I think down is okay.
It is a funeral.
Thank you so much for listening, Fan Tong.
This is my first real speech to my people.
Sorry.
I'm really nervous.
Don't be sorry.
Nervous is a good thing.
- It is? - Sure.
I get real nervous when I'm afraid but Master Po taught me that I can focus being nervous and use it to power my hero chi.
He calls it a jump start.
Hero chi takes a lot of energy and sometimes when you don't have that energy and you get nervous a jump start can save your life.
You should just stay here forever and be my best friend! I just said that out loud.
I'm gonna go use the bathroom.
We gotta talk.
Hey, buddy.
- Bao? - Don't speak.
I need to lay some truth on you, and it's not pretty.
I love you, guy, you're one of my best friends.
But the Empress Well, how do I say this? She's, like, a full-grown girl, and she's royalty.
You get what I'm sayin'? Not at all.
I just don't want to see you get hurt! Just, let me handle it from here.
Empress, forgive me for barging in Ah She's a little nervous today.
It's over.
It's all over.
I'll never see my son again.
I'll never see the sun again.
Instead, I'm going to spend my last hours being digested with What? Knock it off, you big baby.
What are you doing? Ain't you ever had something stuck in your throat before? I'm gonna get this lizard to cough us up.
Here we go! Interesting bouquet.
Fortunately, Grandma's failure has once again given me an idea to save our butts.
You really had a kid with that guy? Empress, it is time to get you to the dais for your speech.
Uh, anyone seen Rooster? Not that I particularly care, he just makes me nervous when unattended.
The Rooster and his companions left early this morning.
Obviously, the circumstances ain't ideal but being hung up like this, arms akimbo, is doing wonders for my back.
Arms akimbo has always been my favorite position.
"Arms akimbo"? This is not yoga, you miserable pigeon droppings! We are being tortured! What, "left"? Without a goodbye complaint? Doesn't seem like him.
Which way to the dais, Mistress Shi Long? Only myself and General Fang will accompany the Empress to the balcony.
Guests and members of the Imperial Court are sat one tier beneath.
I'm not making my speech without Fan Tong by my side.
Empress, the tradition dictates that It can dictate all it wants, Fan Tong is coming with me.
Okay, then.
How do we get to this other level? You sure you're reading that map right, Master Po? If you want help I'm sorry, but who's the panda who's been here before? Exactly.
Dragon Master knows best.
Didn't you say that just before we were chased through the city? "And then you turn a right, and then just turn a" Uh Make a left up here.
Doesn't that take us farther away from the square? Oh, are you an architect now? Your plan is too feed this monster your noodles? I'd heard your cooking was bad, but monster killing-bad My intention is not to feed the beast, Madame.
My intention is to smoke the beast out.
So, getting coughed up like a hairball or digested are our only options? Wonderful! Do you have a better idea? I didn't think so.
Now if you don't mind, I need to get back to my cooking.
Well, he needs to get back to his cooking.
Meanwhile, we just stand here in What are we standing in? Pretty sure it's stomach acid from the way my toenails are bubbling.
Great! What's next? Something's got me! Not while cartilage still lives in my shoulders it doesn't! Why are there tentacles in here? We're in a demon's throat! Next question! Ping, increase the smoke so it coughs us up now! If I do that, I'll ruin the noodles.
My father, above all else, was a man of peace.
Master Po I know, I know, we'll be there any second! Maybe we should ask someone for directions? Don't do it, Master Po.
Men never ask for directions.
- It's a rule.
- Hmm.
Oh, forget this, I'm asking.
Excuse me? Could you help us find the seating above the square? Jing, what did you do? Are you kidding? Ninja Frogs? Hey! Ping, we need those noodles now! Still too al dente! Our great country is faced with a danger unlike any before.
But we are resilient.
And we never run from a fight.
As I speak, water and food is on its way to those in need.
My father's passing does not mean an end to his legacy.
That legacy lives on.
My father, and now I, are simply caretakers.
You people make our country great.
You, are the heroes of this story! How'd I do? Amazing.
My thighs are still sweating it was that good.
Get the Empress to safety.
I don't know who you are but Xiao worked really hard on that speech, so if this is some weird critique Huh? Fan Tong! It's not working! I don't have enough chi.
Remember what you told me Master Po taught you.
The jump start! I'm here! Oh, man.
I give up.
Sorry we weren't here.
It's my fault, I got us lost.
Master Po, look at this.
It's the servant from yesterday.
What? No, I saved her.
If she'd killed Xiao or Fan Tong that would have been on me.
What good is having a healing power if it ends up saving someone who wants to hurt us? Jing Thank you.
All of you.
It's clear enemies to peace are all around us.
I have dealt with haters before.
Be it those jealous of my cutting edge style choices or my undeniable fabulousness.
These were challenges I always faced alone.
No longer.
I have The Dragon Master and the Four Constellations by my side.
Let this be a warning.
Empress Xiao of the Forbidden City is no longer afraid.