Lastman (2016) s01e18 Episode Script
Action!
1
It's not just any Kinglet
who possesses that girl.
It's the most powerful,
the most destructive of all:
Chorum, the Devourer
I can't even!
Dammit
I'm so sick of this shit!
- Where's my jacket?
- The one you're wearing?
Right.
I'll be shooting that commercial.
If there's any problem
- What
- The bedroom!
What happened?
Are you alright?
Well, I'm making hot chocolate.
Anybody want some?
LASTMAN
THE STRANGER
Action!
Richard Aldana is
a modern-day gladiator,
a man who doesn't mind breaking a sweat.
Richard, your armpits are always fresh.
What's your secret?
He uses Brutal. That's his secret.
Tomie, you know the score.
This kiss is lame as shit.
You can't leave
until I get a decent take!
Think about your earnings.
Tell that to Richard.
I'm tired of pretending
we're together,
but he doesn't even try!
It's Aldana.
He says he can't make it today.
He wants to talk to you
about a pair of pants.
Wow, that's nice and girly.
You're a girl
and it's just a pair of pants!
Is that it?
You popped all those pills?
What about me?
Sorry babe.
That shit turns me into a douche.
We need a lot more of it.
You can't tell before you try it on.
I can tell:
It's terrible.
You better try this on.
Yeah. I see
She doesn't look very happy.
Thanks for coming.
I was struggling.
What's wrong with her?
It's complicated.
I thought pants-shopping
would cheer her up.
She doesn't have any pants.
I'm clueless about girls.
I wish I knew what to do.
Did you see who's over there?
That's Tomie Katana
and her boyfriend, the boxer.
Right. They look good together.
Richard
You pop one, I pop one.
Aldana,
Yeah, that's it: Richard Aldana.
We're almost out of pills.
What do we do?
We don't need that crap, babe.
We need to think bigger.
LASTMAN
THE STRANGER
OK, I'll help you,
but you finish the commercial.
- We got to get it over with.
- OK
Once again, I'm sorry.
Now that's nice!
It fits you so well!
Can we go now?
Why don't you date Richard for real?
I'm not sure I understand.
How is Richard related to you again?
He takes care of me.
My dad died.
Right. He did mention it.
So, aside from pants,
is he doing OK?
Yeah, but now
he doesn't understand
what's happening to me.
Yeah, you feel your body changing.
It's scary.
Yeah, but that But
You know
I'm really changing into something else.
It's like
"I don't know who I am!"
- It's horrible.
- Heal! Heal!
Yeah, you're right
Watch out!
- Are you nuts?
- Shut up and get moving!
I'm a big fan.
Good to know.
Who the
You're gonna pay for this.
Hey, that hurts!
Let him go, you bastard!
- Are you OK, babe?
- No, he's hurting me.
OK, lovebirds,
why don't we make peace
and you get the hell out of here.
Are you OK with that?
OK. You won't tell the cops, will you?
No, no
Well
Keep it up, guys!
- Are you OK?
- Yup. I'm good.
What about you?
Are you hurt?
I feel fine. I Thanks.
What the fuck!
There are so many cops!
You!
Close the security curtain!
LASTMAN
THE STRANGER
This is Annabelle Chang
live from the Paxmall Center
where, for the past two hours,
police and hostage takers
have been staying put.
It's an impressive police operation,
but other
They'll blame it all on us,
the bastards!
All we wanted
was some Sector, dammit!
Don't worry babe.
We'll pull it off. We're in control.
So annoying!
Hello? Who's this?
Seriously?
- TV!
- What? Let me talk to them!
I must attract trouble.
- I attract assholes.
- And I'm literally damned.
Yeah, like every other teen.
- No, I'm damned.
- Sector!
I had fun earlier though,
thanks for that.
- Thanks for everything, Richard.
- Don't
They're moving in!
The lady said it!
Damn, damn!
You fucking pigs!
To the left! One of them is hiding!
Hold on.
The cops will do their job.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Yeah, get the fuck out of here!
They're going to give up soon.
The first assault was cut short,
leaving one officer dead
and three seriously injured.
Could someone
have warned them from the outside?
Police are keeping their eyes peeled.
A second assault is about to be launched
from the rooftops, this time..
The plan is to surprise
the hostage takers
by going through
the mall's fake ceiling!
It's the biggest drug haul
in Paxtown's history.
I have an announcement to make.
Sorry we're scaring you and all,
things aren't going as planned.
So I think
I'll have to kill one of you guys.
Right?
Yeah.
No, not me, I have two kids.
I've got four.
I hate having to choose, dammit.
Hold on!
You're going to die if you stay here.
You know that.
Your plan was to kidnap me.
You should escape
with me as a hostage.
They won't shoot if I'm with you.
It's the best way.
OK babe,
you take the singer, I take the girl.
In your dreams, man!
Enough!
Bastards!
Richard Aldana
is a modern day gladiator
Yeah,
tell him that's for post-production.
OK, guys, we're ready,
can we shoot that goddamn kiss?
Are the cameras rolling?
Action!
To be continued
It's not just any Kinglet
who possesses that girl.
It's the most powerful,
the most destructive of all:
Chorum, the Devourer
I can't even!
Dammit
I'm so sick of this shit!
- Where's my jacket?
- The one you're wearing?
Right.
I'll be shooting that commercial.
If there's any problem
- What
- The bedroom!
What happened?
Are you alright?
Well, I'm making hot chocolate.
Anybody want some?
LASTMAN
THE STRANGER
Action!
Richard Aldana is
a modern-day gladiator,
a man who doesn't mind breaking a sweat.
Richard, your armpits are always fresh.
What's your secret?
He uses Brutal. That's his secret.
Tomie, you know the score.
This kiss is lame as shit.
You can't leave
until I get a decent take!
Think about your earnings.
Tell that to Richard.
I'm tired of pretending
we're together,
but he doesn't even try!
It's Aldana.
He says he can't make it today.
He wants to talk to you
about a pair of pants.
Wow, that's nice and girly.
You're a girl
and it's just a pair of pants!
Is that it?
You popped all those pills?
What about me?
Sorry babe.
That shit turns me into a douche.
We need a lot more of it.
You can't tell before you try it on.
I can tell:
It's terrible.
You better try this on.
Yeah. I see
She doesn't look very happy.
Thanks for coming.
I was struggling.
What's wrong with her?
It's complicated.
I thought pants-shopping
would cheer her up.
She doesn't have any pants.
I'm clueless about girls.
I wish I knew what to do.
Did you see who's over there?
That's Tomie Katana
and her boyfriend, the boxer.
Right. They look good together.
Richard
You pop one, I pop one.
Aldana,
Yeah, that's it: Richard Aldana.
We're almost out of pills.
What do we do?
We don't need that crap, babe.
We need to think bigger.
LASTMAN
THE STRANGER
OK, I'll help you,
but you finish the commercial.
- We got to get it over with.
- OK
Once again, I'm sorry.
Now that's nice!
It fits you so well!
Can we go now?
Why don't you date Richard for real?
I'm not sure I understand.
How is Richard related to you again?
He takes care of me.
My dad died.
Right. He did mention it.
So, aside from pants,
is he doing OK?
Yeah, but now
he doesn't understand
what's happening to me.
Yeah, you feel your body changing.
It's scary.
Yeah, but that But
You know
I'm really changing into something else.
It's like
"I don't know who I am!"
- It's horrible.
- Heal! Heal!
Yeah, you're right
Watch out!
- Are you nuts?
- Shut up and get moving!
I'm a big fan.
Good to know.
Who the
You're gonna pay for this.
Hey, that hurts!
Let him go, you bastard!
- Are you OK, babe?
- No, he's hurting me.
OK, lovebirds,
why don't we make peace
and you get the hell out of here.
Are you OK with that?
OK. You won't tell the cops, will you?
No, no
Well
Keep it up, guys!
- Are you OK?
- Yup. I'm good.
What about you?
Are you hurt?
I feel fine. I Thanks.
What the fuck!
There are so many cops!
You!
Close the security curtain!
LASTMAN
THE STRANGER
This is Annabelle Chang
live from the Paxmall Center
where, for the past two hours,
police and hostage takers
have been staying put.
It's an impressive police operation,
but other
They'll blame it all on us,
the bastards!
All we wanted
was some Sector, dammit!
Don't worry babe.
We'll pull it off. We're in control.
So annoying!
Hello? Who's this?
Seriously?
- TV!
- What? Let me talk to them!
I must attract trouble.
- I attract assholes.
- And I'm literally damned.
Yeah, like every other teen.
- No, I'm damned.
- Sector!
I had fun earlier though,
thanks for that.
- Thanks for everything, Richard.
- Don't
They're moving in!
The lady said it!
Damn, damn!
You fucking pigs!
To the left! One of them is hiding!
Hold on.
The cops will do their job.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Yeah, get the fuck out of here!
They're going to give up soon.
The first assault was cut short,
leaving one officer dead
and three seriously injured.
Could someone
have warned them from the outside?
Police are keeping their eyes peeled.
A second assault is about to be launched
from the rooftops, this time..
The plan is to surprise
the hostage takers
by going through
the mall's fake ceiling!
It's the biggest drug haul
in Paxtown's history.
I have an announcement to make.
Sorry we're scaring you and all,
things aren't going as planned.
So I think
I'll have to kill one of you guys.
Right?
Yeah.
No, not me, I have two kids.
I've got four.
I hate having to choose, dammit.
Hold on!
You're going to die if you stay here.
You know that.
Your plan was to kidnap me.
You should escape
with me as a hostage.
They won't shoot if I'm with you.
It's the best way.
OK babe,
you take the singer, I take the girl.
In your dreams, man!
Enough!
Bastards!
Richard Aldana
is a modern day gladiator
Yeah,
tell him that's for post-production.
OK, guys, we're ready,
can we shoot that goddamn kiss?
Are the cameras rolling?
Action!
To be continued