Marvel's Avengers Assemble (2013) s01e18 Episode Script
Mojoworld
1x18 - Mojo World All of them.
Every last one.
Inconsiderate, gamma-faced glutton-head Next time, knock.
What do you want? What do I want? I wanted pickles! Now? I just want some answers.
Can only deal with one girly scream at a time.
Girly? You overgrown garbage disposal! - How do you know it was me? - Aw, come on! There it is.
Pickle juice.
I can smell it.
Big mouth for a small head.
Fine, yeah, I ate your stupid pickles.
Cry about it outside.
Hey, I remember these.
What are you doing? Gotta say, there really is nothing like a little glass unicorn to show off your soft side, Hulkie.
- Get away from that! - Get away from what Ah! Whoa! I said back away! That is it! I've had enough of your Huh? Scabby! You know what? Just forget the pickles.
- Ugh.
Again? - Your turn, Captain hall monitor.
- Come on, give me a break! - Stop moving, and I will! All right, look, you jade temper tantrum, - this was totally your fault.
- Your arrow.
Your bad.
Hulk, Hawkeye do you know what time it is? - Time to smash! - He's bent out of shape over one of - his stupid glass animals that fell.
- You you didn't - Hawkeye, did you mess with the zoo? - No.
The zoo? You got a death wish, Hawkeye? Me? What about the pickles? Pickles! - Are you recording this? - Indeed.
He's every bit as savage as Mojo said he would be.
Have we found my star attraction? He is occupied.
Engaged in a what is the word? - "Stand-off"? - Oh, of course.
A classic.
Like an American cowboy.
Now, be good underlings and bring me the Hulk.
Accidents happen, Hulk.
I'm sure Hawkeye feels bad about it.
I like watching him shake.
Take a step.
I dare you.
- I wouldn't do that.
- He didn't mean it, Hulk.
Dare me? You dare me? Stand down, Hulk.
- Whoa! - Bet you're sorry now! Now? Now I'm glad your glass doll is broken.
Doll? Enough's enough, guys.
This is embarrassing.
- I can't get a clear shot.
- Take 'em both.
No, let him sweat, tin Oh, that's just great.
Now what? Get off me, you rage-filled, crystal-collecting Uh, Hulk? I don't think we landed in a New York street.
This isn't right.
Ah, I see.
We have received a parasitic life-form in error.
A bonus indeed.
Ladies, gentlemen, others.
Look what I've brought you.
Wait "special guest"? Whoa! A gladiatorial arena? Can't I ever be transported to some island paradise? Or a ski slope? Or Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Down, boy! Down, boy! Whoa! Hey! A little help here, Hulk? From arena 6c, aboard the Mojo ensign class warp-ship, it's Mojo-pocalypse! Tonight's combatants Earth's emerald giant, the incredible, the insatiable Hulk! And a human hitch-hiking parasite that shoots sharp sticks! This guy! And finally, reigning Mojo-pocalypse champion, Torgo! - What are you waiting for, Hulk? - An apology.
Apologize? To you? You threw me out a window! Huh.
Happy? Hulk? The mighty nay, the indestructible Hulk felled by a single punch? Now that's good cookin'.
Let's hear it for him.
Torgo! Torgo! Torgo! Now let's see how this, uh, hand-picked human place holder fares against your - and all-around crusher.
- Me? Who gives you the best in cosmic entertainment? Mojo! Mojo! I can't hear you! Torgo make quick.
Not the kind of pickle I wanted.
Torgo make bang-bang! Not on Hawkeye, he doesn't.
Who's in charge here? I sent you to Earth, the most unruly planet in the galaxy, and this is what I get? Torgo needs a worthy challenger! Who's this yellow-haired flesh bag? He's messing with my show.
Teleport green meanie back in there before I fall asleep watching this yawn-fest.
And bring me seven buckets of krill.
Mojo hungers.
Go! And look who's back wanting more! The inescapable Hulk.
We're on the verge of a nasty comeback, and I can only get 5.
2 billion to watch? It's the sports event of a lifetime.
The whole universe should be tuned in! Here's metal in your eye! Torgo bless you with one two! Torgo smash! That's my line! Huh? - Nice double, Hulk.
- Home run.
Total knock-out? Hulk is the new champion! Hate paparazzi.
You may be the champion of the arena, but I'm the undefeated master of public opinion.
What does an audience adore even more than a champion or an underdog? A rematch! Torgo say night-night, green-green.
Come on, green-green.
Up and at 'em.
- What happened? - Torgo made bang-bang.
I thought you were Mojo's BFF warrior lapdog.
What is this? A trick? No.
Torgo prisoner, like you.
Mojo biggest galactic fight promoter.
Go from galaxy to galaxy big-talking next bout.
With each fight, Mojo grow powerful.
Torgo learn bouts are fake.
Winner picked before each fight.
Torgo winner, all time.
Torgo make bang-bang, Mojo no cancel Torgo home.
Cancel home? What do you mean, destroy your planet? Yeah.
Great boom-boom.
This Torgo's story.
This Torgo's apology.
You're apologizing? To us? Well, there's something I don't hear every day.
Haven't forgotten about you.
We're not through.
Oh, so we're back to our regularly-scheduled program? Don't worry, pickle puss.
You'll be back to your old doll collection shortly.
Not doll! Don't call it doll! Humans.
Doomed.
Mojo! Mojo! Thank you! Thank Silence! Can we get on with it? I'm hungry uh, to give you tonight's fight.
Hailing from planet Earth, the green machine Hulk! And friend.
- Are those space crickets? - They're not here for you.
What? I got charisma.
Derby of demise! - Round two.
- No, no, no.
Hold up, Hulk! Torgo's not the bad guy here.
Wait it out and try That's right, sports fans! We've got ourselves a good old "derby of demise.
" The rules are simple.
There are none! The last alien standing lives.
What are we dealing with, Torgo? Fight.
Fight all.
Win for home.
Torgo sorry.
- Can I fight him now? - Uh, okay.
Anything you wanna say to me before whatever happens here? - No.
You? - You are really stubborn, you know that? - Uh - And angry! I like when you're angry.
Let's get this over with.
Whoa! Yes! Rocket punch! Good fight.
Now Torgo bless Huh? Huh? Sorry, Torgo.
Hulk's a pal.
I'll be okay.
Stop Mojo.
Win.
And now? There are still two combatants standing.
Us? Versus each other? Forget it, Mojo.
We only fight over pickles.
They want to flex their muscle.
I'll flex mine.
You forfeit? Sick of all your games and all your chins.
Good one.
I've decided not to renew your contract, gentlemen.
You've been canceled.
Ta-ta for now.
Wait! Wait, before you And where did you two go, exactly? Wherever it was, it just came here.
- What is this? - Oh, an intergalactic fight promoter who wants to destroy the planet.
You know, the usual.
Now this is my kind of sport! Have at thee, monsters! We all know mine's good, but hey, Hulk, how's your aim? Actually, on second thought, this may be a really bad idea.
Nah.
Best idea you've had all day.
Hey, I'm sorry for eating your pickles.
Thank you! I'm sorry too Wait, why are you saying this now? Just in case.
Hulk! See you inside! Tonight! Torgo the tenacious takes on not one, but six of the nastiest brawlers that planet Earth has to offer! Including the rematch you've all been waiting for the Hulk! Clash of the brash! Available now on pay-for-view.
Only 70 billion fractin.
I am awesome! But can you do something about that fourth chin? Never let it be said you don't know how to make an entrance.
Underlings! How dare you run? I swear, people have no work ethic these days.
But why beat on me when you can get beaten on? Torgo, make bang-bang! Torgo had enough.
So many cancellations today.
Guess I'll have to find a new fall lineup.
I)m sorry.
You're just not popular enough to star in your own vehicle, uh what's your name? The name's Hawkeye.
This is the part where you come quietly, wire-for-brains.
Or what? More violence? You Earthers love to fight.
Over every trivial thing! "Hulk ate my green crunchies!" "Stick-shooter broke my crystal animal!" Everything is a fight! And I'm the bad guy? Thanks for having my back.
Enough talk.
More smash.
You gotta be kidding.
Talk about a design flaw.
Who puts an exposed control panel on the bottom of their hover chair? Hulk? Well, that's our show.
Good fight and good night, everybody.
Man, I really hate teleporters.
Torgo take ship and return fighters home.
Then have bounty placed on Mojo.
Time that Mojo go big-boom.
Uh, I like that plan.
Let us know if you need a hand when you find him.
We Avengers love to avenge.
Look, Hulk.
Mojo said a lot of dumb stuff, but one thing made sense.
You and me make mountains out of molehills, and, you know, the whole thing with the crystal in your room.
All of that? I'm sorry.
- Already apologized.
- I know.
Just - wanted it to be sincere.
- We're good.
Huh? What the Now that's what I'm talking about! Ah, that big green galoot! I didn't know he had it in him.
Perfect, I'm starving.
Empty? Empty.
Empty? What? "I.
O.
U.
15 boxes of pickles.
Got hungry.
" Hulk!
Every last one.
Inconsiderate, gamma-faced glutton-head Next time, knock.
What do you want? What do I want? I wanted pickles! Now? I just want some answers.
Can only deal with one girly scream at a time.
Girly? You overgrown garbage disposal! - How do you know it was me? - Aw, come on! There it is.
Pickle juice.
I can smell it.
Big mouth for a small head.
Fine, yeah, I ate your stupid pickles.
Cry about it outside.
Hey, I remember these.
What are you doing? Gotta say, there really is nothing like a little glass unicorn to show off your soft side, Hulkie.
- Get away from that! - Get away from what Ah! Whoa! I said back away! That is it! I've had enough of your Huh? Scabby! You know what? Just forget the pickles.
- Ugh.
Again? - Your turn, Captain hall monitor.
- Come on, give me a break! - Stop moving, and I will! All right, look, you jade temper tantrum, - this was totally your fault.
- Your arrow.
Your bad.
Hulk, Hawkeye do you know what time it is? - Time to smash! - He's bent out of shape over one of - his stupid glass animals that fell.
- You you didn't - Hawkeye, did you mess with the zoo? - No.
The zoo? You got a death wish, Hawkeye? Me? What about the pickles? Pickles! - Are you recording this? - Indeed.
He's every bit as savage as Mojo said he would be.
Have we found my star attraction? He is occupied.
Engaged in a what is the word? - "Stand-off"? - Oh, of course.
A classic.
Like an American cowboy.
Now, be good underlings and bring me the Hulk.
Accidents happen, Hulk.
I'm sure Hawkeye feels bad about it.
I like watching him shake.
Take a step.
I dare you.
- I wouldn't do that.
- He didn't mean it, Hulk.
Dare me? You dare me? Stand down, Hulk.
- Whoa! - Bet you're sorry now! Now? Now I'm glad your glass doll is broken.
Doll? Enough's enough, guys.
This is embarrassing.
- I can't get a clear shot.
- Take 'em both.
No, let him sweat, tin Oh, that's just great.
Now what? Get off me, you rage-filled, crystal-collecting Uh, Hulk? I don't think we landed in a New York street.
This isn't right.
Ah, I see.
We have received a parasitic life-form in error.
A bonus indeed.
Ladies, gentlemen, others.
Look what I've brought you.
Wait "special guest"? Whoa! A gladiatorial arena? Can't I ever be transported to some island paradise? Or a ski slope? Or Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Down, boy! Down, boy! Whoa! Hey! A little help here, Hulk? From arena 6c, aboard the Mojo ensign class warp-ship, it's Mojo-pocalypse! Tonight's combatants Earth's emerald giant, the incredible, the insatiable Hulk! And a human hitch-hiking parasite that shoots sharp sticks! This guy! And finally, reigning Mojo-pocalypse champion, Torgo! - What are you waiting for, Hulk? - An apology.
Apologize? To you? You threw me out a window! Huh.
Happy? Hulk? The mighty nay, the indestructible Hulk felled by a single punch? Now that's good cookin'.
Let's hear it for him.
Torgo! Torgo! Torgo! Now let's see how this, uh, hand-picked human place holder fares against your - and all-around crusher.
- Me? Who gives you the best in cosmic entertainment? Mojo! Mojo! I can't hear you! Torgo make quick.
Not the kind of pickle I wanted.
Torgo make bang-bang! Not on Hawkeye, he doesn't.
Who's in charge here? I sent you to Earth, the most unruly planet in the galaxy, and this is what I get? Torgo needs a worthy challenger! Who's this yellow-haired flesh bag? He's messing with my show.
Teleport green meanie back in there before I fall asleep watching this yawn-fest.
And bring me seven buckets of krill.
Mojo hungers.
Go! And look who's back wanting more! The inescapable Hulk.
We're on the verge of a nasty comeback, and I can only get 5.
2 billion to watch? It's the sports event of a lifetime.
The whole universe should be tuned in! Here's metal in your eye! Torgo bless you with one two! Torgo smash! That's my line! Huh? - Nice double, Hulk.
- Home run.
Total knock-out? Hulk is the new champion! Hate paparazzi.
You may be the champion of the arena, but I'm the undefeated master of public opinion.
What does an audience adore even more than a champion or an underdog? A rematch! Torgo say night-night, green-green.
Come on, green-green.
Up and at 'em.
- What happened? - Torgo made bang-bang.
I thought you were Mojo's BFF warrior lapdog.
What is this? A trick? No.
Torgo prisoner, like you.
Mojo biggest galactic fight promoter.
Go from galaxy to galaxy big-talking next bout.
With each fight, Mojo grow powerful.
Torgo learn bouts are fake.
Winner picked before each fight.
Torgo winner, all time.
Torgo make bang-bang, Mojo no cancel Torgo home.
Cancel home? What do you mean, destroy your planet? Yeah.
Great boom-boom.
This Torgo's story.
This Torgo's apology.
You're apologizing? To us? Well, there's something I don't hear every day.
Haven't forgotten about you.
We're not through.
Oh, so we're back to our regularly-scheduled program? Don't worry, pickle puss.
You'll be back to your old doll collection shortly.
Not doll! Don't call it doll! Humans.
Doomed.
Mojo! Mojo! Thank you! Thank Silence! Can we get on with it? I'm hungry uh, to give you tonight's fight.
Hailing from planet Earth, the green machine Hulk! And friend.
- Are those space crickets? - They're not here for you.
What? I got charisma.
Derby of demise! - Round two.
- No, no, no.
Hold up, Hulk! Torgo's not the bad guy here.
Wait it out and try That's right, sports fans! We've got ourselves a good old "derby of demise.
" The rules are simple.
There are none! The last alien standing lives.
What are we dealing with, Torgo? Fight.
Fight all.
Win for home.
Torgo sorry.
- Can I fight him now? - Uh, okay.
Anything you wanna say to me before whatever happens here? - No.
You? - You are really stubborn, you know that? - Uh - And angry! I like when you're angry.
Let's get this over with.
Whoa! Yes! Rocket punch! Good fight.
Now Torgo bless Huh? Huh? Sorry, Torgo.
Hulk's a pal.
I'll be okay.
Stop Mojo.
Win.
And now? There are still two combatants standing.
Us? Versus each other? Forget it, Mojo.
We only fight over pickles.
They want to flex their muscle.
I'll flex mine.
You forfeit? Sick of all your games and all your chins.
Good one.
I've decided not to renew your contract, gentlemen.
You've been canceled.
Ta-ta for now.
Wait! Wait, before you And where did you two go, exactly? Wherever it was, it just came here.
- What is this? - Oh, an intergalactic fight promoter who wants to destroy the planet.
You know, the usual.
Now this is my kind of sport! Have at thee, monsters! We all know mine's good, but hey, Hulk, how's your aim? Actually, on second thought, this may be a really bad idea.
Nah.
Best idea you've had all day.
Hey, I'm sorry for eating your pickles.
Thank you! I'm sorry too Wait, why are you saying this now? Just in case.
Hulk! See you inside! Tonight! Torgo the tenacious takes on not one, but six of the nastiest brawlers that planet Earth has to offer! Including the rematch you've all been waiting for the Hulk! Clash of the brash! Available now on pay-for-view.
Only 70 billion fractin.
I am awesome! But can you do something about that fourth chin? Never let it be said you don't know how to make an entrance.
Underlings! How dare you run? I swear, people have no work ethic these days.
But why beat on me when you can get beaten on? Torgo, make bang-bang! Torgo had enough.
So many cancellations today.
Guess I'll have to find a new fall lineup.
I)m sorry.
You're just not popular enough to star in your own vehicle, uh what's your name? The name's Hawkeye.
This is the part where you come quietly, wire-for-brains.
Or what? More violence? You Earthers love to fight.
Over every trivial thing! "Hulk ate my green crunchies!" "Stick-shooter broke my crystal animal!" Everything is a fight! And I'm the bad guy? Thanks for having my back.
Enough talk.
More smash.
You gotta be kidding.
Talk about a design flaw.
Who puts an exposed control panel on the bottom of their hover chair? Hulk? Well, that's our show.
Good fight and good night, everybody.
Man, I really hate teleporters.
Torgo take ship and return fighters home.
Then have bounty placed on Mojo.
Time that Mojo go big-boom.
Uh, I like that plan.
Let us know if you need a hand when you find him.
We Avengers love to avenge.
Look, Hulk.
Mojo said a lot of dumb stuff, but one thing made sense.
You and me make mountains out of molehills, and, you know, the whole thing with the crystal in your room.
All of that? I'm sorry.
- Already apologized.
- I know.
Just - wanted it to be sincere.
- We're good.
Huh? What the Now that's what I'm talking about! Ah, that big green galoot! I didn't know he had it in him.
Perfect, I'm starving.
Empty? Empty.
Empty? What? "I.
O.
U.
15 boxes of pickles.
Got hungry.
" Hulk!