Pretty Freekin Scary (2023) s01e18 Episode Script

1
We are about to make
the greatest discovery
of all humankind.
What is really in Schmeat?
I said you guys could borrow my stuff
from chemistry class.
You break it, you buy it.
This experiment isn't
the only chemistry going on.
Back off, Dr. Love.
Remy, stop wasting my friend's time
on your conspiracy theories.
She's supposed to be wasting her time
on our synchronized YapChat dance.
Yeah, I kinda don't wanna do either one.
I know that Old Man Snickering
is up to something,
and Schmeat is part of the puzzle.
Let me know if this tastes funny.
I think I need another one to find out.
Ah.
Seriously, Remy?
The only conspiracy I see
is you conspiring to ruin
my relationship with Erlic.
I will never ever give up.
I'm gonna find out what's in Schmeat
whether it kills me or Carson.
Yeah!
Wait, what?
Big announcement, kids.
We're finally clearing out
the spare room.
You mean, the one
that was your home gym?
Then Mom's gift-wrapping room?
Then your dojo
Then Mom's pottery studio?
Yes, now it's just a storage room
filled with things
we wasted our money on.
But all that changes today.
You have a new hobby
to waste your money on?
Don't answer that.
It's a surprise.
Whatever's happening here, no.
I don't need you messing up my kitchen.
Come on, Mom.
We know what we're doing.
Trust us.
We have lab coats and goggles.
You are about to witness
history in the making.
With this one small drop,
we will find out
what's really in Schmeat.
Save yourselves!
Check it out.
Erlic just liked the pic
I posted of a puppy in a cowboy hat.
Do you know what that means?
It means he likes the photo?
No. I posted that photo a week ago,
which means he went deep
into my profile history.
So I liked the photo of him
in his helicopter.
Oh, look, he's still wearing
the talisman!
We are so moving in the right direction.
Now I just need to make sure
nothing messes that up.
Say no to Schmeat!
Say no to Schmeat!
Say no to Schmeat!
You mean something like that?
Remy! What are you doing?
Oh, hey. I'm protesting Schmeat.
Boycott Snickering's Finest.
Don't eat Schmeat
without knowing what's in it.
It could turn you into a zombie.
Or it's made out of zombies.
Who knows?
I admire your dedication,
but I'm craving Gobblers.
Hey!
You need to stop this right now.
Not everything is a conspiracy.
Oh, really?
Well, I think it's a conspiracy
that you're telling me
not to think everything's a conspiracy.
Hey, Frankie. Nyx.
- Remy.
- Oh, hey, Erlic.
Nothing to see here.
Except for your brother
taped to my family's vending machine.
Oh, right.
That.
I doubt anyone's
paying attention to him.
Spread the word! We won't be
Theodore Snickering's Schmeat puppets!
Don't let my annoying little brother
get in the way of our
liking-each-others-pics thing.
It doesn't bother me.
I don't eat Schmeat either.
You hear that!
Erlic Snickering
doesn't eat the Schmeat!
Okay, now it bothers me.
How did you even tape yourself
onto that thing?
Carson helped.
He's supposed to be back by now,
but he's been on
a really long bathroom break.
He's probably waiting on
his lucky urinal.
Didn't need that last detail.
Can you guys cut me loose?
- Nope!
- Ask the janitor.
No, please, guys, come on! No!
Uh
Little help?
Oh, hey, kids. How was school?
Not great.
The best day of my life.
Are you ready to hear our big plans
for the spare room?
Jonathan, wanna do the drumroll?
You know I do.
We are cleaning it out, so
Scary can have her own room!
Surprise!
Oh, thank you, but I prefer my closet.
It's cozy like a dark cave,
and super easy to clean.
So, pass.
Are you sure?
We really wanted to
make the room special for you.
The drumroll was special enough.
Guess we'll have to
find another use for it.
- Choo-choo.
- Mm-mmm.
We are not using it
for your model trains.
Hey, Pretty, you want your own room?
You mean the one
that you offered to Scary
and she turned down?
If you think I'm just gonna take it
Then you're absolutely right!
Huh, that was easy.
Now that we've solved that problem,
can we talk about Remy?
Today he staged a protest
by taping himself
to the Schmeat vending machine.
So that's where the duct tape went.
Wait, what?
He could get in
serious trouble at school.
And I could get in
serious trouble at work.
Mm-mmm. Remy!
Get in here!
We need to talk about
your Schmeat protest.
No need. I'm not investigating Schmeat
or Old Man Snickering anymore.
What? Are you serious?
Yeah. I am done with S.W.E.A.T.I.
Huh, that was easy, too.
We're on fire!
What are you doing?
I'm done investigating
Theodore Snickering,
and this town,
and all conspiracy theories.
It's time to hang up the red yarn.
Huh.
Which I need help with, by the way.
Look, I know I was harsh earlier,
but I just wanted you
to ease up on Snickering,
not quit altogether.
Too late. My mind is made up.
But, tell you what, the board is yours.
Turn it into a vision board
or whatever people do
to feel like they have control
over their futures.
I'm gonna go toss this junk.
You're taking this too far.
Are you okay?
Did you Did you get hit in the head?
Is this about something else?
You can tell me.
Oh, Frankie.
Not everything is a conspiracy.
Remy, you can't just throw away
all your S.W.E.A.T.I. stuff.
That's your life's work.
Sorry, Frankie, but you're not
talking me out of this one.
You sent a breakup text?
You didn't have the decency
to come and talk to me like a man
and tell me S.W.E.A.T.I. is over?
I'm gonna give you two a minute.
- Carson
- If I'm not S.W.E.A.T.I.,
then I'm not me.
And if I'm not me, then who am I?
I'm too young to have
an existential crisis.
I'm almost too young
to say the word "existential."
I'm sure you'll find something
more interesting than S.W.E.A.T.I.
to occupy your time, buddy.
What's more interesting
than investigating Schmeat?
Or the sink hole?
Or the singing dog?
Singing dog? That's silly.
That's like believing
in the birthday fairy.
Look, I might be slightly to blame here.
I told Remy to stop investigating.
Slightly? You're fully to blame!
- How could you?
- I know, I know.
I'm gonna fix it, okay?
You better hope you can, Frankie.
You better hope you can.
What's the emergency
I passed up a nap for?
We have a big problem.
Did Grim give us a really hard task?
Did your powers go crazy again?
Did you burn the roof of your mouth
eating pizza straight out of the oven?
No.
S.W.E.A.T.I. is finished.
Dead. Done-zo.
That's it?
Call me when the band
gets back together.
Yeah, you could've told me
that news at school.
Or never.
This is serious.
Remy's acting like a normal kid,
which is so not normal.
A normal brother?
And more space in your room?
Sounds like a win-win to me.
Is there any way
we can make Carson normal?
Something is off.
Why would Remy
suddenly just quit S.W.E.A.T.I.?
Yeah, he never even solved the mystery
of the purple bird poop on my arm.
Bird ate berries. Case closed.
Oh.
Ew.
I have an idea!
What if we come up
with a new conspiracy theory
to get Remy's S.W.E.A.T.I.
juices flowing again?
Yeah, I heard it when I said it.
I'm in!
Carson, I thought you went home?
I was going to, but then I had to potty.
Which I still haven't done.
I've been eavesdropping a long time!
See? Not normal.
Hey, Remy's coming. Places!
Sell the conspiracy, people!
Ooh, ooh, ooh,
whoa, oh, oh, oof.
Dad? Are you okay?
I tweaked my back carrying boxes,
but as long as I stand still, I'm fine.
No one'll ever believe
what happened
on this mysterious day!
Oh, ooh.
False alarm there, Sparky.
And you might wanna
take it down a notch.
Ew. Back peas.
Wait. Is Mr. Ripp part of the plan?
No, he's just old.
Ouch.
I'm already in enough pain.
Oh, let me see!
- I've got magic fingers!
- Oh, it's fine, Pretty.
A little rest, a little relaxation
and I'll feel
So much better!
How did you do that?
You're a miracle worker.
Guess I'll be putting these peas back.
Please don't.
Fair enough.
Pretty, we'll have your room
ready in no time.
Hope you like disco lights.
Oh, you know I do!
Okay, team, for real this time.
Places.
Once again,
no one will ever believe
what happened to me
on this mysterious day!
Carson, where's your shoe?
It's gone! I'm his latest victim!
Hold up.
Are you talking about
the Left Shoe Bandit?
It's all over YapChat.
Left shoes have mysteriously
gone missing from doormats,
closets, and lockers
all over Snickering Willows.
No foot is safe.
They took my favorite left shoe.
I called him leftie.
What do you think it means, Remy?
Are your S.W.E.A.T.I. senses tingling?
I'm out of the mystery-solving game.
Also, you're missing your right shoe.
Pretty.
Plan A was a bust,
but this alien crop circles conspiracy
will pull Remy back in for sure.
Carson, this isn't school. Just speak.
I have to say,
it's been a real treat
teaming up with you guys.
Especially you, my dark and stormy.
When this works, promise me we'll start
hanging out more at my house.
Remy, can you come in here?
You'll never believe
what we just discovered.
It's something so huge,
so otherworldly, so
Long-winded?
Come on, cut to the chase.
I have a book to finish.
Ooh, you like books now.
How original.
There are crop circles
in Snickering Willows
and we've got proof!
Our neighbor, chatty Mr. Hauser,
had a mysterious pattern
show up in his front lawn.
Then three days later,
the same pattern
showed up in his backyard.
Hmm. I see.
Yeah, interesting.
Mr. Hauser is just cheap.
He probably hired some sketchy
lawn-mowing company to save money.
But the lawnmower leaked gas
and killed the grass in this pattern.
Which means crop circles aren't real.
Conspiracy debunked.
Dang, he's good.
- Respect.
- And he ain't wrong.
Mr. Hauser is super cheap.
He gives out ketchup packets
on Halloween.
If you need me,
I'll be nose-deep in this bad boy.
And I'll be waist-deep in my own tears.
Oh, Pretty, there you are!
Good news, your room is ready!
We hooked it up with a rack
to hang your lacrosse sticks,
a nightlight shaped like a waffle,
and some kettlebells
that were too heavy to carry out.
All of my favorite things in one place!
Aw, you guys!
And the best part is,
you get to be alone.
Complete solitude.
Just you and you.
Alone?
I can't be alone!
Uh, not with people stealing shoes
and alien crop circles popping up.
Nope, I'd rather keep bunking
with Remy and his night farts.
You realize we made
that stuff up, right?
But you were really convincing.
I'm not taking any chances.
I'll take the spare room!
You don't live here.
What if we turn the spare room
into a trampoline room?
So we can hit our heads on the ceiling?
Just thinking out loud.
Or what if we gave
the spare room to Remy
to use as his own private
S.W.E.A.T.I. headquarters?
Ooh, now, that's not a bad idea.
Think of it, Remy.
It would be like S.W.E.A.T.I. 2.0.
Imagine how many conspiracy
boards you can fit in there.
You could have yarn going everywhere!
No, thanks. I'm good.
I'm not really interested
in that stuff anymore.
Who are you?
What is wrong with this room?
How come no one wants it?
I do!
You can do anything with that room!
Bowling alley, batting cage,
pickleball court.
Honey, I love you,
but could you please stop talking?
Remy,
wanna ride bikes down to the creek
and do some S.W.E.A.T.I. surveillance?
No time to hang, Carson.
I'm meeting a new buddy for boba.
Have fun, though!
It's nice that Remy made a new friend.
Yeah. So nice.
- A little jealous, huh?
- I'm not jealous!
I just wanna find out who he is,
and then I wanna take him down.
Whoa! That got dark fast.
But count me in.
Hmm. It's fun saying things
like you're in
an action movie.
Let's get the table right in the middle,
so when we nonchalantly spy on Remy,
it won't look like we're
nonchalantly spying on Remy.
Hold on.
No phones allowed.
Are you serious?
I wouldn't make a sign
if I wasn't serious.
Wait a minute.
The only times we've had to
give up our phone was at the mansion.
And at the escape room.
That can only mean one thing.
He's with Theodore Snickering!
Can someone please take
the knife out of my back?
Remy, what is going on?
We're havin' bobas.
- Ooh, is that the new rose matcha?
- Hmm.
- Is it good?
- Not why we're here.
Why are you having bobas
with Theodore and not me?
Allow me to explain.
Uh, Remy contacted me because he wants
to become a Schmeat ambassador.
I'm helping expand the brand.
What do you think of the slogan,
"Meet the Schmeat"?
I like it.
Theodore needs me because he doesn't
know the youth market.
And Remy needs me because I have money.
Even his shoes look rich.
He has tassels on them.
Show 'em, Theodore.
Hmm?
I've seen those shoes before.
Let's show off our new merch.
- What do you think?
- Remy,
take that Schmeat beanie off right now.
Remy, put that Schmeat
beanie on right now.
Attaboy.
Well
I best be going.
Remy, size small, right?
I'll pick you up a sweater-vest.
Well, I'm drinking
the rest of your boba!
Schmeat treats here!
Get 'em while they're hot!
It's not just food, it's a lifestyle!
Try here! It's free!
It was actually less weird when Remy
was suspicious of my great granddad.
Did you know he got boba
with Theodore yesterday?
What? He never takes me to boba.
He calls it peasants' pudding.
Schmeat-tastic!
Twice as long in your stomach!
I wish I knew
what was going on with him.
Hey, my great-granddad's
been acting strange, too.
Last night, he stared at me
and told me
I didn't want the last cookie.
I swear his eyes turned red.
It was like he was trying
to control my thoughts.
He must have really wanted
that cookie.
Yeah. He should really see
an eye doctor.
I'll see you later.
Try Schmeat, my treat!
Frankie, that red eye thing
happened to you!
- What?
- On game night.
You were in the kitchen with Theodore,
and his eyes went all glowy red.
I know you don't remember, but I saw it.
And now Remy and Theodore, boba buddies?
No way it's a coincidence.
The janitor!
Remember when Remy was taped
to the vending machine?
Ask the janitor.
No, please, guys, come on! No!
I thought it was weird
that the janitor was wearing
fancy dress shoes.
Little help?
But it wasn't the janitor.
It was Theodore.
Oh!
Come now,
Remy Ripp.
Schmeat's not so bad,
and I think you'll find that all those
S.W.E.A.T.I. conspiracy theories
are a big waste of time.
Theodore was the janitor,
and he must have mind-controlled Remy.
Wait, mind control?
No way.
If loving Schmeat is wrong,
I'm gonna be wrong all day long!
Mind control.
But there's one thing
that doesn't add up.
How was he able to
mind control Remy and not Erlic?
The talisman.
That has to be why Grim
wanted him to wear it so badly.
I gotta go talk to GR.
It's still so cool when you say that.
Grim, are you there?
Oh, what is it, Frankie?
Sorry, I didn't mean to be sharp.
Just can't find Christine,
and this coffee mug
will not refill itself!
Sorry, GR, but this is important.
There's a bandit on the loose
stealing left shoes!
- I'm sorry?
- No, we're sorry.
Theodore Snickering
has the power to control people's minds.
- Does he now?
- But it didn't work on Erlic.
It was the talisman
that kept him safe, wasn't it?
It was.
I need one for Remy.
I'm not a gift shop.
I'm the Grim Reaper.
That talisman
was one of a kind, darling.
It was made to protect Erlic
from any powers
that Theodore might have.
But mind control?
This is a new development.
I need to look into this immediately.
Toodles!
Okay, so no new talismans.
How are we gonna fix Remy?
Pretty.
I must've pulled a muscle in my neck
taking down that disco ball.
Mr. Ripp says you have magical fingers.
Oh, happy to help.
Scary, I have an idea.
As you could see, this is
my four-quadrant strategy
to reaching a wider audience.
Oh.
I'm quite impressed, Remy.
You have a true knack for marketing.
If I had a nickel
for every one of my talents,
I'd be as rich as you, Teddy!
Cool if I call you Teddy?
Absolutely not!
This is so not right.
You guys ready?
Wow, looks like you two
are becoming fast friends.
And in such a non-suspicious way.
It's true. Remy and I
have a lot in common,
and I'm not just talking
about our sweater-vests.
Oh. Wow, nice fabric!
Thank you. I bought it in Europe.
Ooh!
I wish we had become friends earlier.
His Schmeat product is so wonderful.
I just love Schme
S.W.E.A.T.I.!
What's that, Remy?
I think you're confused.
I love S.W.E.A.T.I.!
And I hate Schmeat!
I don't trust anything about it.
And you know what?
I definitely don't trust
anything about you!
Well,
would you look at the time.
I must be getting home.
Good day to you all.
Be seeing you real soon.
Count on it.
We're just gonna let him leave?
I was fully ready to rumble.
We don't have
any talisman protection.
Please tell me I wasn't just making
a Schmeat presentation.
You weren't just making
a Schmeat presentation.
Oh, thank goodness!
- Then what is this?
- Your Schmeat presentation.
Ew!
Theodore mind-controlled you, Remy.
He made you quit S.W.E.A.T.I.
He did what?
I would never quit S.W.E.A.T.I.!
And what am I wearing?
He bought you a matching sweater-vest.
He sweater-vest-ed me?
I hope Carson doesn't
find out about all of this.
He knows, and he's a wreck.
No one can destroy S.W.E.A.T.I.
It's the best thing
that's ever happened to me!
I never thought I'd say this,
but those words make me so happy.
You're back!
I didn't even know I was gone!
I can't believe Old Man Snickering
made me throw out my life's work.
- It's okay, I
- It's not okay, Carson.
It's gone! Buried in the dump!
- But I saved
- I know, you saved me
from that cunning, evil mastermind.
Yes, and I also saved you from yourself.
Carson! You dumpster-diving genius!
The world will remember your name!
And my dance moves!
What was all the shouting about?
S.W.E.A.T.I. is back in business!
And we're ready to move
into our new headquarters.
Sorry, buddy. You lost your chance.
Your mom and I turned the room
into a yoga and meditation den.
Yeah. After all the work we did,
we needed a little zen.
It's okay, Remy.
You can still use my room.
That's how relieved I am
to have my annoying little brother back.
And his awesome sidekick?
I mean, you were never gone.
But sure.
Thanks, Frankie.
Now, Carson,
it's time to focus on our main target,
Theodore Snickering.
Way ahead of ya.
"Part-time Janitor."
Suspicious!