Scorpion (2014) s01e18 Episode Script
Once Bitten, Twice Die
WALTER: My name is Walter O'Brien.
I have the fourth highest IQ ever recorded: 197.
Einstein's was 160.
When I was 11, the FBI arrested me for hacking NASA to get their blueprints for my bedroom wall.
Now I run a team of geniuses, tackling worldwide threats only we can solve.
Toby's our behaviorist.
Sylvester's a human calculator.
Happy, a mechanical prodigy.
Agent Cabe Gallo's our government handler.
And Paige? Well, Paige isn't like us.
She's normal and translates the world for us while we help her understand her genius son.
Together, we are Scorpion.
(news theme playing) The tranquil landscapes often praised here in Belarus may soon give way to rolling tanks and blasting mortars as the century-long border conflict with neighbors Lithuania and Latvia has reignited.
With each nation being pledged military support by respective allies, Russia, China, Poland, Germany, and the U.
S.
, geopolitical experts fear if a resolution is not reached quickly, all these countries may soon be at war.
Flight 5-19, LAX runway Bravo is clear.
Wind's one niner niner at two.
Permission to land.
Got an unregistered bogey, sir.
It's only 500 feet below a 747 heading eastbound.
Establish contact immediately.
The hell? It just vanished.
SYLVESTER: I'm pretty sure I just committed at least three felonies.
And I've seen Shawshank.
I know what they do to guys like me in the big house.
D Block prom queen.
- That's it? It's gone? - It's still there.
I hacked the icon and changed its color so it blends in with the background of the ATC monitor.
Basically, I made it disappear.
TOBY: Sudie.
That's Lithuanian for âsayonara,â which is Japanese for âgood-bye.
â That plane will be effectively invisible when it lands at your private airstrip.
I am still feeling very uncomfortable with this.
It's deceptive.
MERRICK: Tensions are extremely high.
If the world knew that the leaders from Belarus, Lithuania, and Latvia were flying to the U.
S.
and no treaty was reached, it could tip the entire region - over the edge.
- I understand.
But historically, when governments try to hide facts from citizenry, everyone winds up in hot water.
(engine revving in distance) PAIGE: Oh.
You're still playing with your toy? This toy is three-dimensional viz-surround software technology.
Oh, it's-it's green screen.
It's been used in Hollywood forever.
Wrong.
It can be used on a green screen, but my software allows you to take various images from different sources and layer them seamlessly on top of each other.
Like Colorforms.
The kids' toy.
I didn't play with kids' toys.
Anyway, even FBI video forensics couldn't detect these images as fake.
- They're groundbreaking.
- Good.
Because you're gonna need to fool a lot of people today.
- Oh, it will.
- So, speaking of today, did you see my analysis report? - Uh, yeah.
- Okay.
I know what you're doing, so let me be more specific.
Did you read my report? Come on.
25 pages detailing the customs and history of the three countries who are meeting today.
It's important.
I understand.
But, uh, so is this, and I just didn't get around to it.
Uh, why did you write it anyway? - I never asked you to.
- Well, truth is, I'm taking night classes.
One's on European history.
Had a paper due.
We had this case coming up, so, you know, I figured two birds, one stone.
You dropped out of college.
I re-enrolled to finish my degree, yeah.
- Uh-huh.
Why? - To learn, for the betterment of myself, - and to set a good example for Ralph.
- I get that.
It's great that you're pursuing education, but why European history? Liberal arts are complete nonsense.
Oh, I couldn't disagree more.
The information that you receive is strictly dependent on the beliefs of whoever authored the textbooks.
There are only four subjects worth studying: science and math - and math and science.
- Okay, so when you meet the Lithuanian president, what will you do? - I'll say hello and shake his hand.
- Mm-hmm.
And that could be disastrous because when you shake the hands of a Lithuanian in the threshold of a room, it's considered insulting.
If the fate of civilization rests on where we shake hands with these people, then we're all doomed.
(horses neighing over video) Hey, Hopalong.
We're about to hop along, so why don't you stop watching that movie for the 12th time? This movie was filmed on the senator's compound where the summit's taking place.
I'm studying the layout of the grounds 'cause some of the sets are still standing on the property.
You already walked the ground with Homeland.
You're a fanboy.
Next time, let your horse do the thinking.
He's smarter.
They don't make classics like this anymore.
Fanboy.
Hey, you got a second? What are you doing? With what? Hand, back.
- Yours, mine.
- Oh.
Sorry, I didn't even notice.
HAPPY: Yesterday, you brushed a leaf from my hair, and on Tuesday you laughed hysterically at something I said.
How do you know it wasn't funny? I was reading a menu.
Pupu platter? I can't help but feel something's changed.
- Are you referring to our kiss? - Don't say it.
(whispers): Kiss.
Almost kiss.
It didn't happen.
Yet.
(helicopter whirring) CABE: That's Lithuanian President Dmitri Kreshenko and his chief advisor Mikko Aleska.
TOBY: Mikko's a big fella.
MERRICK: Over there is Belarus President Boris Sakovich and his entourage, and finally Latvian President Juris Nikonov.
Th-That's actually Latvian Prime Minister.
Their president's more of a figurehead.
You didn't read my report either.
All right, let's get to work.
WOMAN: Director Merrick.
Ah, Ms.
Munoz.
Cabe, this is René Munoz, Assistant Secretary, State Department.
Since there's a good chance that things could become tense over the next few days I'm here to keep these guys away from each other's throats and at the bargaining table.
Great.
Right now we need to get these men in front of the green screens and make it look like they're back in their home countries and not here.
Anything gets lost in translation, we'll reach out.
Understood.
PAIGE: Excuse me.
René.
Uh, I wrote a report on the historical customs and traditions of these nations, if this could be of any help.
Uh, thanks.
I'll refer to it if I get in a jam.
Okay, cut! What the hell is he doing? What are you typing? Nothing.
I'm pretending.
An eight-year-old with a DVR can slo-mo this and see every keystroke.
If this does not read as real, then all of it was a waste of time.
So can you please stop pretending and actually type something? - Thank you, sir.
- Walter, you just need to Mr.
President, you can type whatever you'd like.
We'll just raise the camera an inch so no one sees your fingers.
Is that acceptable? Thank you, sir.
Okay.
What was that? He was doing it wrong.
And over the next few days, we'll need to make a half dozen of these videos, so I need to nip bad habits in the bud.
Me, too.
So I'll be clear.
You do not talk to a president like that.
And, you, you do not talk to a president at all.
I was just trying to help.
Want to help? Stay on the sidelines.
(clock ticking) Is it just me, or does this feel like a seventh grade dance? I didn't go to the seventh grade dance.
Me neither, but I imagine this is what it was like.
Typical.
We sit here in silence while neither of you are willing to extend the first olive branch.
We have all traveled the same distance.
I do not hear you making offers.
This summit was my idea.
That is my offer.
I suggest this a year ago.
Now it's your idea? MUNOZ: Gentlemen, I respectfully submit that we all follow the rules of parliamentary procedure, which we all agreed to - prior to today.
- KRESHENKO: We also agreed to no more military border maneuvers.
And their army has since positioned Hey, you know what? Uh, I suggest some honey mead.
- (quietly): What are you talking about? - Come on, gentlemen.
I know someone here brought the mead.
How else would we toast to peace when this is all over? Drinks are a good idea.
In these nations, you don't fix emotional arguments with rules of procedure.
You grease the wheel with a tradition old enough that they all lay claim to it.
I want her off the grounds.
Now.
Like hell.
She just did your job for you.
It's just pouring drinks, but she's got them working together.
She stays.
KRESHENKO: Okay.
Raise your glasses.
Sveiks.
(groans) - Mr.
President! - Mr.
Kreshenko! I'll get the doctor! - Mr.
President! - Mr.
Kreshenko! Mikko! (urgent chatter) Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? I'm an MD.
Shut up.
I need to hear his breathing.
Doc, what the hell's going on? Well, he's been poisoned.
This is Dr.
Chong.
He is a U.
N.
-certified physician assigned to the summit.
You will all pay for what you've done! Yashin! Hey, hey, hey! Put down your weapons! You're outmanned and you're outgunned! Now lower your weapons! WALTER: Actually, uh, Cabe, you're wrong.
The firepower is evenly matched.
If everyone were to fire simultaneously, then those two gentlemen over there would kill each other, that Marine over there would take out Yashin, the falling bodies would expose those behind them to oncoming fire from the other Marines, and we would wind up with excuse me three dead security personnel and three dead politicians.
Based on quick vector and percentage calculation, almost 100% certainty.
Sylvester, how are my numbers? Sounds pretty good to me.
TOBY: It's actually four dead politicians if Kreshenko isn't treated ASAP.
MIKKO: This was a setup! You brought the bottle.
Sakovich poured it, and Juris passed it out.
Everyone had access.
No one knows what happened, except somebody was planning this all along, and the mead was the perfect opportunity.
Now, this man needs medical care, stat.
No one goes in or out of the grounds.
From here out, everyone is a suspect.
We're on lockdown.
Pulse is dropping significantly.
Heart rate's slowed to 42 bpm.
- He's in bradycardia.
- Whatever poison he's ingested, it's taking hold.
I have adrenaline in my kit.
If I mix it exactly with the atropine and nifedipine, that may buy some time.
- How long? - Without an antidote? This man will be dead in 90 minutes.
SYLVESTER: We can't access an antidote because we don't know what the poison is.
Things might get a lot worse before they get better.
Paige, you did a good job of calming things down earlier.
Go see if you can't settle them down again.
TOBY: I'm gonna go with her.
Maybe I can read some guilt markers.
If we find the culprit, we'll have a better chance of figuring out what was put in his drink.
Go.
We all know what happens if word gets out that there was an assassination attempt during furtive peace talks.
Weaponry will be readied, military strikes commenced.
And that'll be the start of World War Three.
HAPPY: I know this isn't good, but do we really think a world war can break out from the death of the president of the 89th most populated nation on the planet? SYLVESTER: World War One started because of the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand, a man that 99% of the planet had never even heard of, so not only is it possible, but it's happened already.
We have to prevent these guys from transmitting any communications from this ranch.
We could piggyback on the Wi-Fi to place our own virtual local area network around the entire compound.
Like a cyber noose.
We'll capture any e-mails, texts, phone calls from anyone on this property.
- We can't let them know we muzzled them.
- They won't.
They'll think their messages are being received, because Sylvester will respond posing as their associates.
Remember back at the garage when I said I was uncomfortable with deception? Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
Still uncomfortable.
Please, if you'll just Can you even read them when you don't know what they're saying? Universal micro-tells transcend language, but they're politicians; they're trained liars.
So I'm getting bubkes.
If they calm down, I might be able to pick up on something.
I think I have an idea.
Don't keep me in the dark.
What are you up to? Mitzy Von Schneiden.
Singer from the 1920s whose mother was Latvian, dad was Lithuanian.
She studied in Belarus.
They all adore her.
And it's hard to keep fighting when listening to the lullaby your mother used to sing to you.
(gentle music playing) That's actually a good idea.
(woman singing in foreign language) This song is beautiful.
If Kreshenko dies, hopefully a pill-naja-bura doesn't keep us from his funeral.
Oh, God.
Toby, I think I know what was given to Kreshenko.
(heart monitor beeping steadily) Cyber noose is trapping a lot of e-mails and text messages all to colleagues back home, all of shock and dismay at the poisoning.
Nothing nefarious here yet, either.
Hopefully this will keep his heart going until we can determine - exactly what we need to do.
- TOBY: No! CHONG: What the hell? Gallo What is your man doing? That adrenaline would've killed him instantly.
Paige.
The the dust storm.
Merrick, it all makes sense.
PAIGE: The guy from Belarus whispered the words pill-naja-bura.
That's âdust stormâ in Belarusian, effectively a curse word in the nation's history.
And it all started with the venom from a snake.
In 1897, the first war between Belarus and Lithuania broke out after what was deemed to be blatant disrespect by the Belarus government.
I don't need a book report right now.
She actually has some good ideas.
- Paige, go on.
- PAIGE: Okay, so, the Lithuanian president's child died after being bitten by a venomous snake, and the Belarus diplomats didn't show up for the funeral.
The excuse was that there was this terrible dust storm.
But that excuse wasn't accepted, and what followed was a four-year war and the tensions we're still seeing today.
TOBY: According to Paige, the venom in the boy caused an immediate red spread, hives in the arms and neck, just like Kreshenko.
If the venom was given to him as a symbolic âscrew you,â then that adrenaline will make the venom work faster and kill him instantly.
You know, Gallo, you listening to these loons is one thing, but now you got the waitress - calling the shots? - WALTER: Are we judging people based on past resumes? Because you were a department store Santa to help pay for your college.
How the hell did you find that out? Look, the point is, if we don't get meds into Kreshenko and he dies, it's our asses.
If you're wrong, he'll die instantly.
Yeah, and if she's wrong, then we had a chance to save a president and we didn't.
Debating this wastes precious time.
Now, Paige, it's up to you, okay? How certain are you of what you heard? I'm 100% confident in what I heard and what I'm telling you.
Then there's our answer.
This is ridiculous.
I started a course of treatment for this man.
I'm finishing the protocol.
Hey! Are you out of your mind? That was the only adrenaline I had on site! I trust my team.
The safe call was to follow procedure.
And if he died, he died.
Now it's our necks.
I'm gonna arrest President Sakovich, but the lockdown pertains to all of you.
Nobody leaves the grounds until that man is either saved or he's dead.
'Cause I am not eating this bullet alone if this goes south.
Forget Homeland, he should work for the Treasury the way he passes the buck.
Focus.
We have barely an hour, and we don't know what kind of venom we're dealing with.
SYLVESTER: There are numerous deadly Eastern European snakes, several of which can cause - reddish hives.
- Sly, Toby, you figure out what kind of Belarusian snake we're looking for.
Happy, Paige, and I we'll go down to the reptile sanctuary down the PCH.
Then when we get there, you can tell us what kind of snake we need to procure.
Then we'll make an antidote with its venom.
You heard Merrick.
No one's going anywhere.
I think I have a way around that.
Zoom in, camera one, north gate.
Someone's taking pictures.
- Get Director Merrick.
- Sir.
Oh, they bought it.
Great, just-just keep that camera in front of your face.
Come and get me, dummies.
MERRICK: All corps to the north gate.
Now! - All right, come on.
Hustle.
- Where we going? - Right here.
- Okay, hurry.
Okay, come on.
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
Come on.
Cabe, I do not mean to rush you, but if they come back here - and we're trapped - It's in here somewhere.
DVD commentary on Blackrock Shootout said they left intact the secret door the deputy used to escape.
Pays to be a fanboy.
All right, head east over that hill; there should be a trail, take you to a road.
Now go get us a snake.
See you later.
Come on, let's go.
Sir! I checked the perimeter from that bluff.
There's no sign of anyone, not even vehicle tracks.
Well, he's got to be here somewhere.
It's not like the guy just appeared and disappeared.
Son of a bitch.
Hurry up.
I don't want any evidence of what we've been up to.
MERRICK: Gallo! You two, get out.
Ooh, Cabe's in trouble.
Do you have Stockholm syndrome? Just do whatever these eggheads say? What you did is insubordination, borderline treason.
I made a choice to save a man's life.
No, you made a choice to defy me and to back them.
You don't work as closely with Scorpion as I do.
You just don't know how they go about things.
I know that you've been mesmerized by this kid Walter from the minute you met him.
I'm no more mesmerized by him than you are threatened.
And our job is to protect people, not our own backsides.
Now, let me ask you a question.
You think that you and Walter would be such great pals if he knew what really happened in Baghdad with that software you had him make? What if I tell him? Let me be clear.
What Walter knows and what he needs to know is up to me.
If you disclose anything to him, you and I will have a problem where rank doesn't come into play.
Do you copy? Not sure where we are, but I know it's nowhere near the reptile sanctuary.
Now what? Hitchhike? I'm not showing leg.
No, there's no time to hitchhike.
Happy, I hear a truck.
Quick.
Punch me in the nose.
Finally.
(groans) Good job.
(grunts) PAIGE: What is he doing? Hey! Hey! Hey, man, you okay? Not really.
I was hiking, and I fell on my face.
Have you got any ice? Some ice? Yeah, yeah, sure.
Come around back.
Okay.
Hey.
Come on in.
Thanks.
- Here's your ice.
- Thank you.
Also, sorry.
- What's up? - Hit it, Happy! WALTER: We'll return it! Official government business! Okay, so we get to the reptile sanctuary find the curator, have him get us the right snake.
Yeah, what are we gonna do? We gonna tell him someone we know, but can't disclose, has been bitten by a deadly snake that may or may not be native to this area, and he just has to trust us and give us that snake, even though venomous snakes are regulated by the state, and giving us one could land him in prison? - Oh, you got a better idea? - We steal the snake.
We steal the snake.
This is a violation of the Geneva Convention.
So is assassination.
You pig! I will kill you for what you've done! Now, I told you once, you keep cool, or I'll cuff you right alongside these men.
There are too many Belarusian snakes.
There's no way to know which one it is.
Is that what you're gonna tell Walter when we call him? I don't know anything about snakes.
This wasn't even my idea.
Ah, ah, there's no âIâ in Scorpion.
- It's a figure of speech.
- Oh.
Cyber noose just got another text.
This one's from Mikko.
I'm putting it in the translator now.
âEverything is in place, moving forwardâ? I don't like the sound of that.
You know, it's ambiguous.
It could mean nothing.
The man's president is dying.
He's not gonna send an international text to someone that means nothing.
That's ambiguous on purpose, - but it means something.
- What? You think Mikko could be the one who slipped his boss a mickey? The text was meant for someone named Eras Ilgauskas, and a quick search shows that he's a wealthy manufacturer in artillery production and distribution.
You think Mikko could be in the weapons game with him? That would explain why he did something that could cause World War Three.
If Kreshenko signs that peace treaty, then there's no war, and if there's no war, there's no weapons to sell.
We arrested the wrong guys.
And we're looking for the wrong type of snake.
Killer's not from Belarus.
We need something from the Lithuanian region.
That's where Mikko's from.
And there's only one snake that matches our specific set of symptoms.
The adder.
Toby says we got the wrong guys.
It was Kreshenko's advisor.
The snake we're looking for is the adder.
HAPPY: I hacked the sanctuary's schematics.
The best route to the snake is the side employees' entrance.
Once in, to avoid security, you're gonna have to use the cross beams above the displays.
I didn't design the building, man.
We can still communicate within the cyber noose, so we need to respond to his text.
There's no way Mikko doesn't expect to hear back from him, a co-conspirator in an assassination.
- If he doesn't, he'll get suspicious.
- What do I say? Uh, needs to be ambiguous, as well.
Just confirmation of receipt.
That's what they would've planned.
- Okay.
How about âThank youâ? - Sure.
Why don't you put a thumbs up emoticon at the end of it, too? Just send âConfirmedâ" No.
Send âOkayâ" No! Send âOkay.
Confirmedâ" - You're confusing me.
- Just send âConfirmedâ" That's it.
Just send that.
- Sent.
You think he'll buy it? - Yeah.
Unless they had a specific code word planned in advance.
Yeah.
Let's go tell Cabe we got our guy.
(footsteps approaching) I think they had a code word.
Is that him? No.
That's the running of the bulls in Ventura.
- Yes, it's him! - Okay.
What do I do? What do I do? You are the computer experts, no? No.
(sighs) We dabble.
Give me your phone.
Easy, Mongo.
I know you texted me! (grunting) Hit him, Sly! - Okay! - Hit him! I got him! (groaning) SOLDIER: Stop! U.
S.
Marine! He's the assassin! SOLIDER: Got eyes on him! Are you okay, Sly? CABE: What the hell happened? - You guys all right? - (groans) It was Mikko.
He framed those Belarus boys.
Big guy's fast.
(animals squawking) MAN: Welcome, gang.
Got a lot of neat stuff to see and learn today, so head on in.
Just follow these footprints.
Excuse me, sir.
Can you help me? I am the teacher's assistant with this class, but I I'm so terrified of snakes, and I was C-Can you stand with me during your presentation, please? Please? GUIDE: Um, sure, yeah.
I won't leave your side if you don't want me to.
Oh, thank you.
You're such a smart, brave man.
I'm so lucky to have someone like you looking after me.
How long have you worked here? Your friend better get back here with that venom soon.
He's almost gone.
WALTER (quietly): Happy, am I getting any closer? All I can see are a bunch of turtles.
Hang a left.
Okay.
Got snakes? Mm, yeah, getting there.
You okay? Sure.
Are you scared of snakes? Oh, no.
Walter, I've seen you diffuse a bomb.
That risk was calculable.
You cannot predict what a wild animal will do.
I'm just gonna reach down, scoop up the snake and then get out.
Limited risk.
I will be fine.
Okay, you have to make sure you don't harm the snake when you retrieve it.
Do you want to change places? - Hell no.
Those things are deadly.
- GUIDE: Okay, kids.
If I could have everybody at this window over here.
If everyone stays quiet, I can tell you about the over 40 breeds of venomous snakes that we have here.
Now, many of these snakes come from a tropical, wet climate, but since SoCal is a desert, who would like to make our snakes feel more at home? CHILDREN: Me! Me! You certainly look like a snake lover.
Press that little red button and see what happens.
I don't have a good feeling about this.
GUIDE: You made it rain! Oh! Oh! Oh! (children screaming) Let's make our way to the exit, kids.
Call security! Walter.
Okay.
Not good.
(groans) Oh, boy.
A deadly snake.
(hissing) (hissing) Walter, don't move.
Okay.
We need a tan snake with a zigzag pattern along its back.
I think that's the one, the one that's near your business.
Guys.
There's a tan snake with a different zigzag pattern in this tree.
Which one do we want? How the hell should I know? I'm a mechanic.
PAIGE: Can we try and capture both of them, make antidotes out of both venom, see which one works? No.
There is barely enough time to make one antivenom.
(hissing) I have an idea.
HAPPY: Uh, are you doing - what I think you're doing? - PAIGE: What? Wait.
Walter, what are you doing? Walter, what are you doing?! Process of elimination is our most efficient path.
Come on, come on, come on.
Whoa! (yells) Crap.
(groans) I think we've got the right snake.
(groans) Okay, move.
(muttering) Watch the snake.
PAIGE: What the hell is - the plan here? - To make an antidote, we need a host to inject a little bit of venom into, not enough to kill it, but enough to develop antibodies.
There.
That's our host.
- Yeah.
- I'm on it.
One ferret coming up! - Oh, no.
- Oh, no.
(ferret squeaking) Yep.
(tires screeching) Ah! Come on! Don't be stingy! Okay, I think I got enough.
Uh, yeah.
I got enough.
How are you still functioning while Kreshenko's barely alive? (gasps) Because I'm younger.
But we have to get back to the ranch fast.
Happy.
Hey, I'm doing 90 in a burrito truck.
Cut me some slack.
Okay, hold him still.
- Wait, is this gonna hurt him? - I'm so glad that you're concerned about the ferret.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay, buddy.
Help me out here.
(gunshot) Next time let your horse do the thinking.
He's smarter.
(tires screeching) SOLDIER: Freeze! Stop right now! Stop the vehicle! Halt! HAPPY: Lower your guns.
We're the Homeland guys.
We've got an antidote.
Okay.
Come on, Walt.
We're almost there.
Careful on those steps, Happy.
There's taco grease! (grunts) Oh, no.
What did you do? I dropped the ferret.
Oh, he does not look good.
The fuel quotients for the rockets are off.
CHONG: He's rambling.
He's delusional.
He's in bad shape.
TOBY: Walter, what the hell were you thinking? The antibodies are in the host organism.
What host organism? PAIGE: I slipped on taco grease getting out of the van, and when I fell, the ferret with the venom got away.
That's the first time anyone has ever said that.
I got to go help Happy find him.
WALTER: Paige, I'm sorry.
I What? I'm sorry.
I had reservations.
Reservations about what? I-I never took you to dinner.
Whoa, little sucker's fast.
What am I supposed to do with this thing? SYLVESTER: Oh, no.
Really? CHONG: I need a high-speed centrifuge to separate out the antibody from the ferret blood.
Yeah, Walter must've had a plan here.
Walter's not talking right now, Toby.
TOBY: Okay, okay They're dead men.
They're going to die.
Let me think, okay? What is there to think about? I'll just inject them with ferret blood, without processing it.
Million-to-one shot but what choice do we have? No, you're not taking a million-to-one shot with my friend's life, you understand? You go near him with that ferret, I'm gonna cram that furry little dude up in a place it can never run away from.
You follow? We just need to separate the antibodies from the plasma.
Somehow simulate a high-speed centrifuge.
You came here in a taco truck, right? Okay.
Oh! Salad spinner! Let's go.
All right, come on! Okay.
Now we wait.
Even if we save Kreshenko, these guys are so distrustful of one another, they'll never sit down and negotiate.
Well, then we'll have to figure out a way to motivate them to want to.
(woman speaking indistinctly over TV) How'd we do? Walter.
How are you feeling? Oh, terrible.
(chuckles) But, uh, worse now that I've seen this.
So Kreshenko died, word got out, and now we're off to a decade of death and destruction? Not exactly.
Are they Signing a peace treaty? You bet they are.
We showed them what would happen if they didn't.
Come with me.
I'll show you.
MERRICK: Gallo, I know today was rough and we went at it, but you got the ball into the end zone.
I won't forget what you did.
And you threatened to disclose something to Walter I don't ever want shared.
I won't forget what you did, either.
REPORTER: Both sides are set to start pulling back heavy weapons on Tuesday to create a buffer zone of up to 140 kilometers.
You used my software.
Old footage of Lithuanian tank maneuvers laid over border territories they have never been near before.
Soldiers disembarking tanks, except we put them near the disputed boundaries.
Images over images.
Like Colorforms.
The United States and Germany have promised ground troops immediately, a move the Russian government has called an act of direct aggression.
- She's using my voice dubbing software.
- No.
Actually, the British accent's Happy's real voice.
She's been lying to us the whole time.
We just spliced the wiring of our broadcast to the satellite dish on the roof, so now everybody thinks they're watching the real news.
That is fantastic work, guys.
SYLVESTER: Just call us the Ghosts of Christmas Future.
We scared the hell out of them.
They ran to the bargaining table.
So, uh, what happens when they get back and find out the truth? What are they gonna say? That a bunch of schmucks who work out of a garage outsmarted them? Those guys want to get re-elected.
(sighs) Where is it? HAPPY: Doc.
Come here a minute.
What's up? When you grabbed that doctor and put him in his place, it was hot.
Um thank you for that Shh.
Just don't talk.
Don't ruin it.
Okay.
Okay.
(sighs) (sniffs) Why's it smell like seawater? I formulated, uh, an electrolyte solution.
It's more efficient than the market brands.
It tastes, um disgusting.
Taking that bite today was crazy.
I know we go down a lot of dicey roads, but that was It was necessary.
War was imminent.
Still, I don't like you taking that kind of risk.
Noted.
You look like you're going to say something.
(ferret squeaking) You kept it? He saved my life.
Least I could do is save it from becoming a snake's lunch.
Toby named it Ferret Bueller.
I don't understand the reference.
PAIGE: I need my history textbook.
I'm already late as hell! And I don't understand why she didn't tell me she was taking a night class.
You, this group, it's a lot to compete with academically.
She knows there's no reason to compete.
And that she can't compete.
Just like we can't compete with her in so many regards.
So why keep that hidden? There's a million reasons why people keep secrets.
Sometimes we just can't understand.
PAIGE: No! No, no! What's the problem? Busted water main on Sunset.
Traffic's gridlocked.
There's no way I'll make my final.
I'm gonna flunk.
I need a favor.
(siren whooping) PAIGE: Oh, my God, I made it.
This is amazing.
Seven minutes to spare.
(chuckles) I-I didn't have a chance to cram today.
I know you think this stuff is nonsense, but I'm nervous.
You outshined and impressed a seasoned diplomatic envoy today.
So if you can do that, you can crush the test.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you, Walter.
I have the fourth highest IQ ever recorded: 197.
Einstein's was 160.
When I was 11, the FBI arrested me for hacking NASA to get their blueprints for my bedroom wall.
Now I run a team of geniuses, tackling worldwide threats only we can solve.
Toby's our behaviorist.
Sylvester's a human calculator.
Happy, a mechanical prodigy.
Agent Cabe Gallo's our government handler.
And Paige? Well, Paige isn't like us.
She's normal and translates the world for us while we help her understand her genius son.
Together, we are Scorpion.
(news theme playing) The tranquil landscapes often praised here in Belarus may soon give way to rolling tanks and blasting mortars as the century-long border conflict with neighbors Lithuania and Latvia has reignited.
With each nation being pledged military support by respective allies, Russia, China, Poland, Germany, and the U.
S.
, geopolitical experts fear if a resolution is not reached quickly, all these countries may soon be at war.
Flight 5-19, LAX runway Bravo is clear.
Wind's one niner niner at two.
Permission to land.
Got an unregistered bogey, sir.
It's only 500 feet below a 747 heading eastbound.
Establish contact immediately.
The hell? It just vanished.
SYLVESTER: I'm pretty sure I just committed at least three felonies.
And I've seen Shawshank.
I know what they do to guys like me in the big house.
D Block prom queen.
- That's it? It's gone? - It's still there.
I hacked the icon and changed its color so it blends in with the background of the ATC monitor.
Basically, I made it disappear.
TOBY: Sudie.
That's Lithuanian for âsayonara,â which is Japanese for âgood-bye.
â That plane will be effectively invisible when it lands at your private airstrip.
I am still feeling very uncomfortable with this.
It's deceptive.
MERRICK: Tensions are extremely high.
If the world knew that the leaders from Belarus, Lithuania, and Latvia were flying to the U.
S.
and no treaty was reached, it could tip the entire region - over the edge.
- I understand.
But historically, when governments try to hide facts from citizenry, everyone winds up in hot water.
(engine revving in distance) PAIGE: Oh.
You're still playing with your toy? This toy is three-dimensional viz-surround software technology.
Oh, it's-it's green screen.
It's been used in Hollywood forever.
Wrong.
It can be used on a green screen, but my software allows you to take various images from different sources and layer them seamlessly on top of each other.
Like Colorforms.
The kids' toy.
I didn't play with kids' toys.
Anyway, even FBI video forensics couldn't detect these images as fake.
- They're groundbreaking.
- Good.
Because you're gonna need to fool a lot of people today.
- Oh, it will.
- So, speaking of today, did you see my analysis report? - Uh, yeah.
- Okay.
I know what you're doing, so let me be more specific.
Did you read my report? Come on.
25 pages detailing the customs and history of the three countries who are meeting today.
It's important.
I understand.
But, uh, so is this, and I just didn't get around to it.
Uh, why did you write it anyway? - I never asked you to.
- Well, truth is, I'm taking night classes.
One's on European history.
Had a paper due.
We had this case coming up, so, you know, I figured two birds, one stone.
You dropped out of college.
I re-enrolled to finish my degree, yeah.
- Uh-huh.
Why? - To learn, for the betterment of myself, - and to set a good example for Ralph.
- I get that.
It's great that you're pursuing education, but why European history? Liberal arts are complete nonsense.
Oh, I couldn't disagree more.
The information that you receive is strictly dependent on the beliefs of whoever authored the textbooks.
There are only four subjects worth studying: science and math - and math and science.
- Okay, so when you meet the Lithuanian president, what will you do? - I'll say hello and shake his hand.
- Mm-hmm.
And that could be disastrous because when you shake the hands of a Lithuanian in the threshold of a room, it's considered insulting.
If the fate of civilization rests on where we shake hands with these people, then we're all doomed.
(horses neighing over video) Hey, Hopalong.
We're about to hop along, so why don't you stop watching that movie for the 12th time? This movie was filmed on the senator's compound where the summit's taking place.
I'm studying the layout of the grounds 'cause some of the sets are still standing on the property.
You already walked the ground with Homeland.
You're a fanboy.
Next time, let your horse do the thinking.
He's smarter.
They don't make classics like this anymore.
Fanboy.
Hey, you got a second? What are you doing? With what? Hand, back.
- Yours, mine.
- Oh.
Sorry, I didn't even notice.
HAPPY: Yesterday, you brushed a leaf from my hair, and on Tuesday you laughed hysterically at something I said.
How do you know it wasn't funny? I was reading a menu.
Pupu platter? I can't help but feel something's changed.
- Are you referring to our kiss? - Don't say it.
(whispers): Kiss.
Almost kiss.
It didn't happen.
Yet.
(helicopter whirring) CABE: That's Lithuanian President Dmitri Kreshenko and his chief advisor Mikko Aleska.
TOBY: Mikko's a big fella.
MERRICK: Over there is Belarus President Boris Sakovich and his entourage, and finally Latvian President Juris Nikonov.
Th-That's actually Latvian Prime Minister.
Their president's more of a figurehead.
You didn't read my report either.
All right, let's get to work.
WOMAN: Director Merrick.
Ah, Ms.
Munoz.
Cabe, this is René Munoz, Assistant Secretary, State Department.
Since there's a good chance that things could become tense over the next few days I'm here to keep these guys away from each other's throats and at the bargaining table.
Great.
Right now we need to get these men in front of the green screens and make it look like they're back in their home countries and not here.
Anything gets lost in translation, we'll reach out.
Understood.
PAIGE: Excuse me.
René.
Uh, I wrote a report on the historical customs and traditions of these nations, if this could be of any help.
Uh, thanks.
I'll refer to it if I get in a jam.
Okay, cut! What the hell is he doing? What are you typing? Nothing.
I'm pretending.
An eight-year-old with a DVR can slo-mo this and see every keystroke.
If this does not read as real, then all of it was a waste of time.
So can you please stop pretending and actually type something? - Thank you, sir.
- Walter, you just need to Mr.
President, you can type whatever you'd like.
We'll just raise the camera an inch so no one sees your fingers.
Is that acceptable? Thank you, sir.
Okay.
What was that? He was doing it wrong.
And over the next few days, we'll need to make a half dozen of these videos, so I need to nip bad habits in the bud.
Me, too.
So I'll be clear.
You do not talk to a president like that.
And, you, you do not talk to a president at all.
I was just trying to help.
Want to help? Stay on the sidelines.
(clock ticking) Is it just me, or does this feel like a seventh grade dance? I didn't go to the seventh grade dance.
Me neither, but I imagine this is what it was like.
Typical.
We sit here in silence while neither of you are willing to extend the first olive branch.
We have all traveled the same distance.
I do not hear you making offers.
This summit was my idea.
That is my offer.
I suggest this a year ago.
Now it's your idea? MUNOZ: Gentlemen, I respectfully submit that we all follow the rules of parliamentary procedure, which we all agreed to - prior to today.
- KRESHENKO: We also agreed to no more military border maneuvers.
And their army has since positioned Hey, you know what? Uh, I suggest some honey mead.
- (quietly): What are you talking about? - Come on, gentlemen.
I know someone here brought the mead.
How else would we toast to peace when this is all over? Drinks are a good idea.
In these nations, you don't fix emotional arguments with rules of procedure.
You grease the wheel with a tradition old enough that they all lay claim to it.
I want her off the grounds.
Now.
Like hell.
She just did your job for you.
It's just pouring drinks, but she's got them working together.
She stays.
KRESHENKO: Okay.
Raise your glasses.
Sveiks.
(groans) - Mr.
President! - Mr.
Kreshenko! I'll get the doctor! - Mr.
President! - Mr.
Kreshenko! Mikko! (urgent chatter) Whoa, whoa, what are you doing? I'm an MD.
Shut up.
I need to hear his breathing.
Doc, what the hell's going on? Well, he's been poisoned.
This is Dr.
Chong.
He is a U.
N.
-certified physician assigned to the summit.
You will all pay for what you've done! Yashin! Hey, hey, hey! Put down your weapons! You're outmanned and you're outgunned! Now lower your weapons! WALTER: Actually, uh, Cabe, you're wrong.
The firepower is evenly matched.
If everyone were to fire simultaneously, then those two gentlemen over there would kill each other, that Marine over there would take out Yashin, the falling bodies would expose those behind them to oncoming fire from the other Marines, and we would wind up with excuse me three dead security personnel and three dead politicians.
Based on quick vector and percentage calculation, almost 100% certainty.
Sylvester, how are my numbers? Sounds pretty good to me.
TOBY: It's actually four dead politicians if Kreshenko isn't treated ASAP.
MIKKO: This was a setup! You brought the bottle.
Sakovich poured it, and Juris passed it out.
Everyone had access.
No one knows what happened, except somebody was planning this all along, and the mead was the perfect opportunity.
Now, this man needs medical care, stat.
No one goes in or out of the grounds.
From here out, everyone is a suspect.
We're on lockdown.
Pulse is dropping significantly.
Heart rate's slowed to 42 bpm.
- He's in bradycardia.
- Whatever poison he's ingested, it's taking hold.
I have adrenaline in my kit.
If I mix it exactly with the atropine and nifedipine, that may buy some time.
- How long? - Without an antidote? This man will be dead in 90 minutes.
SYLVESTER: We can't access an antidote because we don't know what the poison is.
Things might get a lot worse before they get better.
Paige, you did a good job of calming things down earlier.
Go see if you can't settle them down again.
TOBY: I'm gonna go with her.
Maybe I can read some guilt markers.
If we find the culprit, we'll have a better chance of figuring out what was put in his drink.
Go.
We all know what happens if word gets out that there was an assassination attempt during furtive peace talks.
Weaponry will be readied, military strikes commenced.
And that'll be the start of World War Three.
HAPPY: I know this isn't good, but do we really think a world war can break out from the death of the president of the 89th most populated nation on the planet? SYLVESTER: World War One started because of the assassination of the Archduke Franz Ferdinand, a man that 99% of the planet had never even heard of, so not only is it possible, but it's happened already.
We have to prevent these guys from transmitting any communications from this ranch.
We could piggyback on the Wi-Fi to place our own virtual local area network around the entire compound.
Like a cyber noose.
We'll capture any e-mails, texts, phone calls from anyone on this property.
- We can't let them know we muzzled them.
- They won't.
They'll think their messages are being received, because Sylvester will respond posing as their associates.
Remember back at the garage when I said I was uncomfortable with deception? Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
Still uncomfortable.
Please, if you'll just Can you even read them when you don't know what they're saying? Universal micro-tells transcend language, but they're politicians; they're trained liars.
So I'm getting bubkes.
If they calm down, I might be able to pick up on something.
I think I have an idea.
Don't keep me in the dark.
What are you up to? Mitzy Von Schneiden.
Singer from the 1920s whose mother was Latvian, dad was Lithuanian.
She studied in Belarus.
They all adore her.
And it's hard to keep fighting when listening to the lullaby your mother used to sing to you.
(gentle music playing) That's actually a good idea.
(woman singing in foreign language) This song is beautiful.
If Kreshenko dies, hopefully a pill-naja-bura doesn't keep us from his funeral.
Oh, God.
Toby, I think I know what was given to Kreshenko.
(heart monitor beeping steadily) Cyber noose is trapping a lot of e-mails and text messages all to colleagues back home, all of shock and dismay at the poisoning.
Nothing nefarious here yet, either.
Hopefully this will keep his heart going until we can determine - exactly what we need to do.
- TOBY: No! CHONG: What the hell? Gallo What is your man doing? That adrenaline would've killed him instantly.
Paige.
The the dust storm.
Merrick, it all makes sense.
PAIGE: The guy from Belarus whispered the words pill-naja-bura.
That's âdust stormâ in Belarusian, effectively a curse word in the nation's history.
And it all started with the venom from a snake.
In 1897, the first war between Belarus and Lithuania broke out after what was deemed to be blatant disrespect by the Belarus government.
I don't need a book report right now.
She actually has some good ideas.
- Paige, go on.
- PAIGE: Okay, so, the Lithuanian president's child died after being bitten by a venomous snake, and the Belarus diplomats didn't show up for the funeral.
The excuse was that there was this terrible dust storm.
But that excuse wasn't accepted, and what followed was a four-year war and the tensions we're still seeing today.
TOBY: According to Paige, the venom in the boy caused an immediate red spread, hives in the arms and neck, just like Kreshenko.
If the venom was given to him as a symbolic âscrew you,â then that adrenaline will make the venom work faster and kill him instantly.
You know, Gallo, you listening to these loons is one thing, but now you got the waitress - calling the shots? - WALTER: Are we judging people based on past resumes? Because you were a department store Santa to help pay for your college.
How the hell did you find that out? Look, the point is, if we don't get meds into Kreshenko and he dies, it's our asses.
If you're wrong, he'll die instantly.
Yeah, and if she's wrong, then we had a chance to save a president and we didn't.
Debating this wastes precious time.
Now, Paige, it's up to you, okay? How certain are you of what you heard? I'm 100% confident in what I heard and what I'm telling you.
Then there's our answer.
This is ridiculous.
I started a course of treatment for this man.
I'm finishing the protocol.
Hey! Are you out of your mind? That was the only adrenaline I had on site! I trust my team.
The safe call was to follow procedure.
And if he died, he died.
Now it's our necks.
I'm gonna arrest President Sakovich, but the lockdown pertains to all of you.
Nobody leaves the grounds until that man is either saved or he's dead.
'Cause I am not eating this bullet alone if this goes south.
Forget Homeland, he should work for the Treasury the way he passes the buck.
Focus.
We have barely an hour, and we don't know what kind of venom we're dealing with.
SYLVESTER: There are numerous deadly Eastern European snakes, several of which can cause - reddish hives.
- Sly, Toby, you figure out what kind of Belarusian snake we're looking for.
Happy, Paige, and I we'll go down to the reptile sanctuary down the PCH.
Then when we get there, you can tell us what kind of snake we need to procure.
Then we'll make an antidote with its venom.
You heard Merrick.
No one's going anywhere.
I think I have a way around that.
Zoom in, camera one, north gate.
Someone's taking pictures.
- Get Director Merrick.
- Sir.
Oh, they bought it.
Great, just-just keep that camera in front of your face.
Come and get me, dummies.
MERRICK: All corps to the north gate.
Now! - All right, come on.
Hustle.
- Where we going? - Right here.
- Okay, hurry.
Okay, come on.
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up.
Come on.
Cabe, I do not mean to rush you, but if they come back here - and we're trapped - It's in here somewhere.
DVD commentary on Blackrock Shootout said they left intact the secret door the deputy used to escape.
Pays to be a fanboy.
All right, head east over that hill; there should be a trail, take you to a road.
Now go get us a snake.
See you later.
Come on, let's go.
Sir! I checked the perimeter from that bluff.
There's no sign of anyone, not even vehicle tracks.
Well, he's got to be here somewhere.
It's not like the guy just appeared and disappeared.
Son of a bitch.
Hurry up.
I don't want any evidence of what we've been up to.
MERRICK: Gallo! You two, get out.
Ooh, Cabe's in trouble.
Do you have Stockholm syndrome? Just do whatever these eggheads say? What you did is insubordination, borderline treason.
I made a choice to save a man's life.
No, you made a choice to defy me and to back them.
You don't work as closely with Scorpion as I do.
You just don't know how they go about things.
I know that you've been mesmerized by this kid Walter from the minute you met him.
I'm no more mesmerized by him than you are threatened.
And our job is to protect people, not our own backsides.
Now, let me ask you a question.
You think that you and Walter would be such great pals if he knew what really happened in Baghdad with that software you had him make? What if I tell him? Let me be clear.
What Walter knows and what he needs to know is up to me.
If you disclose anything to him, you and I will have a problem where rank doesn't come into play.
Do you copy? Not sure where we are, but I know it's nowhere near the reptile sanctuary.
Now what? Hitchhike? I'm not showing leg.
No, there's no time to hitchhike.
Happy, I hear a truck.
Quick.
Punch me in the nose.
Finally.
(groans) Good job.
(grunts) PAIGE: What is he doing? Hey! Hey! Hey, man, you okay? Not really.
I was hiking, and I fell on my face.
Have you got any ice? Some ice? Yeah, yeah, sure.
Come around back.
Okay.
Hey.
Come on in.
Thanks.
- Here's your ice.
- Thank you.
Also, sorry.
- What's up? - Hit it, Happy! WALTER: We'll return it! Official government business! Okay, so we get to the reptile sanctuary find the curator, have him get us the right snake.
Yeah, what are we gonna do? We gonna tell him someone we know, but can't disclose, has been bitten by a deadly snake that may or may not be native to this area, and he just has to trust us and give us that snake, even though venomous snakes are regulated by the state, and giving us one could land him in prison? - Oh, you got a better idea? - We steal the snake.
We steal the snake.
This is a violation of the Geneva Convention.
So is assassination.
You pig! I will kill you for what you've done! Now, I told you once, you keep cool, or I'll cuff you right alongside these men.
There are too many Belarusian snakes.
There's no way to know which one it is.
Is that what you're gonna tell Walter when we call him? I don't know anything about snakes.
This wasn't even my idea.
Ah, ah, there's no âIâ in Scorpion.
- It's a figure of speech.
- Oh.
Cyber noose just got another text.
This one's from Mikko.
I'm putting it in the translator now.
âEverything is in place, moving forwardâ? I don't like the sound of that.
You know, it's ambiguous.
It could mean nothing.
The man's president is dying.
He's not gonna send an international text to someone that means nothing.
That's ambiguous on purpose, - but it means something.
- What? You think Mikko could be the one who slipped his boss a mickey? The text was meant for someone named Eras Ilgauskas, and a quick search shows that he's a wealthy manufacturer in artillery production and distribution.
You think Mikko could be in the weapons game with him? That would explain why he did something that could cause World War Three.
If Kreshenko signs that peace treaty, then there's no war, and if there's no war, there's no weapons to sell.
We arrested the wrong guys.
And we're looking for the wrong type of snake.
Killer's not from Belarus.
We need something from the Lithuanian region.
That's where Mikko's from.
And there's only one snake that matches our specific set of symptoms.
The adder.
Toby says we got the wrong guys.
It was Kreshenko's advisor.
The snake we're looking for is the adder.
HAPPY: I hacked the sanctuary's schematics.
The best route to the snake is the side employees' entrance.
Once in, to avoid security, you're gonna have to use the cross beams above the displays.
I didn't design the building, man.
We can still communicate within the cyber noose, so we need to respond to his text.
There's no way Mikko doesn't expect to hear back from him, a co-conspirator in an assassination.
- If he doesn't, he'll get suspicious.
- What do I say? Uh, needs to be ambiguous, as well.
Just confirmation of receipt.
That's what they would've planned.
- Okay.
How about âThank youâ? - Sure.
Why don't you put a thumbs up emoticon at the end of it, too? Just send âConfirmedâ" No.
Send âOkayâ" No! Send âOkay.
Confirmedâ" - You're confusing me.
- Just send âConfirmedâ" That's it.
Just send that.
- Sent.
You think he'll buy it? - Yeah.
Unless they had a specific code word planned in advance.
Yeah.
Let's go tell Cabe we got our guy.
(footsteps approaching) I think they had a code word.
Is that him? No.
That's the running of the bulls in Ventura.
- Yes, it's him! - Okay.
What do I do? What do I do? You are the computer experts, no? No.
(sighs) We dabble.
Give me your phone.
Easy, Mongo.
I know you texted me! (grunting) Hit him, Sly! - Okay! - Hit him! I got him! (groaning) SOLDIER: Stop! U.
S.
Marine! He's the assassin! SOLIDER: Got eyes on him! Are you okay, Sly? CABE: What the hell happened? - You guys all right? - (groans) It was Mikko.
He framed those Belarus boys.
Big guy's fast.
(animals squawking) MAN: Welcome, gang.
Got a lot of neat stuff to see and learn today, so head on in.
Just follow these footprints.
Excuse me, sir.
Can you help me? I am the teacher's assistant with this class, but I I'm so terrified of snakes, and I was C-Can you stand with me during your presentation, please? Please? GUIDE: Um, sure, yeah.
I won't leave your side if you don't want me to.
Oh, thank you.
You're such a smart, brave man.
I'm so lucky to have someone like you looking after me.
How long have you worked here? Your friend better get back here with that venom soon.
He's almost gone.
WALTER (quietly): Happy, am I getting any closer? All I can see are a bunch of turtles.
Hang a left.
Okay.
Got snakes? Mm, yeah, getting there.
You okay? Sure.
Are you scared of snakes? Oh, no.
Walter, I've seen you diffuse a bomb.
That risk was calculable.
You cannot predict what a wild animal will do.
I'm just gonna reach down, scoop up the snake and then get out.
Limited risk.
I will be fine.
Okay, you have to make sure you don't harm the snake when you retrieve it.
Do you want to change places? - Hell no.
Those things are deadly.
- GUIDE: Okay, kids.
If I could have everybody at this window over here.
If everyone stays quiet, I can tell you about the over 40 breeds of venomous snakes that we have here.
Now, many of these snakes come from a tropical, wet climate, but since SoCal is a desert, who would like to make our snakes feel more at home? CHILDREN: Me! Me! You certainly look like a snake lover.
Press that little red button and see what happens.
I don't have a good feeling about this.
GUIDE: You made it rain! Oh! Oh! Oh! (children screaming) Let's make our way to the exit, kids.
Call security! Walter.
Okay.
Not good.
(groans) Oh, boy.
A deadly snake.
(hissing) (hissing) Walter, don't move.
Okay.
We need a tan snake with a zigzag pattern along its back.
I think that's the one, the one that's near your business.
Guys.
There's a tan snake with a different zigzag pattern in this tree.
Which one do we want? How the hell should I know? I'm a mechanic.
PAIGE: Can we try and capture both of them, make antidotes out of both venom, see which one works? No.
There is barely enough time to make one antivenom.
(hissing) I have an idea.
HAPPY: Uh, are you doing - what I think you're doing? - PAIGE: What? Wait.
Walter, what are you doing? Walter, what are you doing?! Process of elimination is our most efficient path.
Come on, come on, come on.
Whoa! (yells) Crap.
(groans) I think we've got the right snake.
(groans) Okay, move.
(muttering) Watch the snake.
PAIGE: What the hell is - the plan here? - To make an antidote, we need a host to inject a little bit of venom into, not enough to kill it, but enough to develop antibodies.
There.
That's our host.
- Yeah.
- I'm on it.
One ferret coming up! - Oh, no.
- Oh, no.
(ferret squeaking) Yep.
(tires screeching) Ah! Come on! Don't be stingy! Okay, I think I got enough.
Uh, yeah.
I got enough.
How are you still functioning while Kreshenko's barely alive? (gasps) Because I'm younger.
But we have to get back to the ranch fast.
Happy.
Hey, I'm doing 90 in a burrito truck.
Cut me some slack.
Okay, hold him still.
- Wait, is this gonna hurt him? - I'm so glad that you're concerned about the ferret.
- I'm sorry.
- Okay, buddy.
Help me out here.
(gunshot) Next time let your horse do the thinking.
He's smarter.
(tires screeching) SOLDIER: Freeze! Stop right now! Stop the vehicle! Halt! HAPPY: Lower your guns.
We're the Homeland guys.
We've got an antidote.
Okay.
Come on, Walt.
We're almost there.
Careful on those steps, Happy.
There's taco grease! (grunts) Oh, no.
What did you do? I dropped the ferret.
Oh, he does not look good.
The fuel quotients for the rockets are off.
CHONG: He's rambling.
He's delusional.
He's in bad shape.
TOBY: Walter, what the hell were you thinking? The antibodies are in the host organism.
What host organism? PAIGE: I slipped on taco grease getting out of the van, and when I fell, the ferret with the venom got away.
That's the first time anyone has ever said that.
I got to go help Happy find him.
WALTER: Paige, I'm sorry.
I What? I'm sorry.
I had reservations.
Reservations about what? I-I never took you to dinner.
Whoa, little sucker's fast.
What am I supposed to do with this thing? SYLVESTER: Oh, no.
Really? CHONG: I need a high-speed centrifuge to separate out the antibody from the ferret blood.
Yeah, Walter must've had a plan here.
Walter's not talking right now, Toby.
TOBY: Okay, okay They're dead men.
They're going to die.
Let me think, okay? What is there to think about? I'll just inject them with ferret blood, without processing it.
Million-to-one shot but what choice do we have? No, you're not taking a million-to-one shot with my friend's life, you understand? You go near him with that ferret, I'm gonna cram that furry little dude up in a place it can never run away from.
You follow? We just need to separate the antibodies from the plasma.
Somehow simulate a high-speed centrifuge.
You came here in a taco truck, right? Okay.
Oh! Salad spinner! Let's go.
All right, come on! Okay.
Now we wait.
Even if we save Kreshenko, these guys are so distrustful of one another, they'll never sit down and negotiate.
Well, then we'll have to figure out a way to motivate them to want to.
(woman speaking indistinctly over TV) How'd we do? Walter.
How are you feeling? Oh, terrible.
(chuckles) But, uh, worse now that I've seen this.
So Kreshenko died, word got out, and now we're off to a decade of death and destruction? Not exactly.
Are they Signing a peace treaty? You bet they are.
We showed them what would happen if they didn't.
Come with me.
I'll show you.
MERRICK: Gallo, I know today was rough and we went at it, but you got the ball into the end zone.
I won't forget what you did.
And you threatened to disclose something to Walter I don't ever want shared.
I won't forget what you did, either.
REPORTER: Both sides are set to start pulling back heavy weapons on Tuesday to create a buffer zone of up to 140 kilometers.
You used my software.
Old footage of Lithuanian tank maneuvers laid over border territories they have never been near before.
Soldiers disembarking tanks, except we put them near the disputed boundaries.
Images over images.
Like Colorforms.
The United States and Germany have promised ground troops immediately, a move the Russian government has called an act of direct aggression.
- She's using my voice dubbing software.
- No.
Actually, the British accent's Happy's real voice.
She's been lying to us the whole time.
We just spliced the wiring of our broadcast to the satellite dish on the roof, so now everybody thinks they're watching the real news.
That is fantastic work, guys.
SYLVESTER: Just call us the Ghosts of Christmas Future.
We scared the hell out of them.
They ran to the bargaining table.
So, uh, what happens when they get back and find out the truth? What are they gonna say? That a bunch of schmucks who work out of a garage outsmarted them? Those guys want to get re-elected.
(sighs) Where is it? HAPPY: Doc.
Come here a minute.
What's up? When you grabbed that doctor and put him in his place, it was hot.
Um thank you for that Shh.
Just don't talk.
Don't ruin it.
Okay.
Okay.
(sighs) (sniffs) Why's it smell like seawater? I formulated, uh, an electrolyte solution.
It's more efficient than the market brands.
It tastes, um disgusting.
Taking that bite today was crazy.
I know we go down a lot of dicey roads, but that was It was necessary.
War was imminent.
Still, I don't like you taking that kind of risk.
Noted.
You look like you're going to say something.
(ferret squeaking) You kept it? He saved my life.
Least I could do is save it from becoming a snake's lunch.
Toby named it Ferret Bueller.
I don't understand the reference.
PAIGE: I need my history textbook.
I'm already late as hell! And I don't understand why she didn't tell me she was taking a night class.
You, this group, it's a lot to compete with academically.
She knows there's no reason to compete.
And that she can't compete.
Just like we can't compete with her in so many regards.
So why keep that hidden? There's a million reasons why people keep secrets.
Sometimes we just can't understand.
PAIGE: No! No, no! What's the problem? Busted water main on Sunset.
Traffic's gridlocked.
There's no way I'll make my final.
I'm gonna flunk.
I need a favor.
(siren whooping) PAIGE: Oh, my God, I made it.
This is amazing.
Seven minutes to spare.
(chuckles) I-I didn't have a chance to cram today.
I know you think this stuff is nonsense, but I'm nervous.
You outshined and impressed a seasoned diplomatic envoy today.
So if you can do that, you can crush the test.
I'm proud of you.
Thank you, Walter.