So Random! (2011) s01e18 Episode Script

yo, chillaxel, why you at the mall tonight? I'm here to see Santa, you caught me, a'ight? yo, I is too, gotta tell him what I want - pardon me, you just cut to the front - Whoa! aw, grammar, what you doing here? I'm spreading Joy and lots of cheer with holiday grammar, you should know I'm mc grammar claus, ho ho ho ho ho ho when you wish someone a season's greetings apostrophe I should be seeing! and "it was the night before," not "'twas" have you got that, guys? I'm gonna smash you, cuz! trying to spread the holiday cheer a teaching present to last all year so go tell Rudolph and prancer and dasher and dancer the gift of grammar is here we want real presents like hats or bling - then don't leave your modifiers dangle-ing - We want gifts we can rock! - you mean like a harmonica? - No - not really.
- Well, here's the gift of how to spell said here's the gift of how to spell hanukkah.
I've got mc's back, I'm made out of Clay I'm a rap master, call me Dr.
Dreidel they call her Dr.
Dreidel you can spell hanukkah like this and like this and like this and like this and like this trying to spread the holiday cheer a teaching present to last all year so go tell Rudolph and prancer and dasher and dancer the gift of grammar is here here's the advice you should not reject ah, keep your holidays grammatically correct holiday cheer, grammar is here.
.
Proper word to your mother! Don't push it.
Uh, Santa is here! - Oh Santa, yeah! - Oh, yeah yeah yeah! Grammar is out.
"so random!" it's a party, get down - "so random!" - It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around a fantastic journey, a little bit of this and that you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, get set 'cause it's time to roll with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random and do our thing come on - it's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down "so random!" - it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!" Give it up for Matthew Bailey.
Story time.
"'twas the night of 'so random!, '.
" When all through the crowd.
"The audience was cheering, in fact, rather loud.
" Oh yes.
"the sketches were written, rehearsed and prepared.
Did we mention Justin 'bieb ber'?" Is it true Justin bieber is singing tonight? Yes, but there's more all right? W than just that, The bieb's on the show! All my dreams have come true! I think I'm even more excited than you! Guys, guys, be cool.
Bieber's no different than us.
Yeah, but maybe he'll let us ride on his awesome tour bus! Now Nico, now Grady, now Zora, Tawni and Chad, - Go get in your costumes.
- But I want to meet him so bad! Well, then let's start our very special holiday show.
I'd say stick around, but where else would you go? Hello.
So what are we doing today, Becky? Well, doctor, you may not know this, but I was Raised by beavers! Hmm, interesting.
Let me make a note of that.
You know, people only see me as a Oh, snap.
My pencil snapped.
As a giant pair of teeth.
That they either laugh at or use as a sharpener.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Would you mind? And I'm tired of it.
Mm, sounds almost as annoying.
As a half-sharpened pencil.
Thank you.
So when my parents asked me what I wanted.
For Christmas, I said all I want for Christmas.
Is my two front teeth gone.
No problem, Becky.
By the time you wake up, it'll be as if you were never Raised by beavers! Will you get over yourself? Your teeth are perfect.
They always have been.
Shawna, I'm glad we could meet at the mall.
We have so many people we have to get gifts for.
We should make a list.
Darn it! My pencil snapped! And there isn't a pencil sharpener in sight! How are we gonna get gifts for people.
If we don't finish this list?! Oh, here.
Ow! I forgot.
I was never Gross.
Why would you put it in your mouth? It's not like you could sharpen it with your teeth or something.
That would have been cool.
Wait up, shawna! I'll come with you.
Gary? I thought we were dating.
Why are you holding her hand? Because Julie's my girlfriend.
- Do I even know you? - Yes! Remember? In shop class? That's where I found out you were Raised by donkeys! That was a secret! Who told you? Aw.
It's okay, Gary.
I don't mind.
After all, I was Raised by peacocks.
Being different is cool.
See you later, Suzie perfect teeth! What is going on? Mom, dad, I'm having the weirdest day! What do you mean you don't know who I am? I'm Becky, your daughter! I was raised by You guys! Oh no, you don't know who I am either! The dentist said it would be.
Like I was never raised by beavers and it happened! Help, help.
The Christmas tree collapsed and Santa is trapped! Christmas has been ruined by a giant piece of wood! If only there was someone who could gnaw through it.
Mr.
Seaton, we could save you.
What a wonderful world that would be, Gary.
What a wonderful world that would be.
Go on, finish your shopping.
If only I had my two front teeth, I could save Santa! Why did I ever wish I wasn't raised by beavers?! - Dr.
Goldstein! - Whoa.
I've changed my mind! I don't want to be Suzie perfect teeth.
I want my two I'voversized teeth.
D! It makes me special that I was The music's back! Raised by beavers.
Happy holidays! At the mall, Santa tells him What he wants for Christmas.
He can light the menorah With just his smile.
The star on top of his Christmas tree Is Selena Gomez.
He is The coolest kid in school.
I don't always leave cookies for Santa, But when I do, I prefer Captain kringle's sprinkly winkly.
Holiday hoo-ho's.
Stay in school, my friends.
More random fun is coming right up.
Stick around.
oh, Calvin smells, Calvin smells he has the worst b.
O.
! and, f.
Y.
I.
, I kissed your girlfriend - under the mistletoe.
- Hey! Greetings.
Thank you for choosing volde-mart.
How may I fill your holiday with Joy? with you - shawty, with you.
- With you - with you - shawty, with you under the mistletoe.
come on! The holidays a time to be.
With family and friends.
And what better way to celebrate this special time of the year.
Than with the only brother band.
That is still totally consumed by sibling rivalry? Yes, it's the platowski brothers! - Dwayne is a nerd.
- Shut it - make me.
- Shut it - shut it! - Make me.
- You know what? You shut it, man! - You shut your mouth! What's this? What's this? What's this? That's not pretty! Watch the bells! Watch the bells! They're antiques.
Ah-ah! Hey! - Yes, the platowski brothers are back! And they've got a whole new album that speaks.
Both to their love of the holidays and their hatred of each other.
With classic songs like "calvin smells.
" wafting from his toes - the stink won't go away - Ha-ha-ha.
people screaming, "no, go get the odor spray! oh, Calvin smells, Calvin smells he has the worst b.
O.
! and, f.
Y.
I.
, I kissed your girlfriend - under the mistletoe.
- Hey! Yeah.
Yeah, she liked my smell.
You stay away from Tanya! Yes, it's a regular festival of fights.
As Calvin and Dwayne put their own Twist on a hanukkah classic.
oh, wah wah wah, oh, wah wah wah Calvin never shuts up Dwayne is a baby, he uses a sippy cup well, you sleep with a blankie and a little doll better take that back or I'm telling Uncle Saul.
.
You'd better not tell Uncle Saul! He's my favorite Uncle! Saul loves me more.
Yeah, that's right.
- That's right.
- I'm gonna spin you like a dreidel! Bring it, baby! Calm down! Yes, this holiday album.
Is full of season's beatings and holiday smear.
Only the platowski brothers can make this holiday classic their own.
I wish you were someone different I wish you were someone different I wish you were someone different and I hate you so much.
So buy the platowski brothers holiday album today And enjoy the holidays with the only brother band.
That is still totally consumed by sibling rivalry.
Not letting that happen again.
Merry Christmas to all and to all No, honey, I will get you a twirl-o-bot for Christmas.
I'm sure they will have it at this store.
Okay.
You, I need help! Greetings.
Thank you for choosing volde-mart.
How may I fill your holiday with joy? Just get me a twirl-o-bot.
You dare give the dark lord orders? Let's see how you like it when I give you this! It's a malibu volde-doll Half the price of a twirl-o-bot, twice the fun.
So you're telling me you don't have it? Oh, this isn't good enough for you? - Avada ka - Oh please.
You don't scare me.
I have a six-year-old at home.
Without a twirl-o-bot.
I'm going to toys "r" Severus! Thank you for shopping with us! Oh, you have bought valiantly! Is that a Potter doll? Is it?! Oh! Oh! Happy holidays! Uh, what can I help you with? Hey, uh, do you have any hanukkah stuff? Ah.
Ah, hanukkah.
Such a Joy.
Tickles the throat to say it, doesn't it? Hanukkah.
Ha-ha-ha-hanukkah.
Hanukkah.
- Am I right? Right? - You know what? I think I'm gonna I'm gonna go find that myself.
No.
Say with me though hanukkah.
- Eh.
- No, it's the tkroat han hanukkah.
- Hanukkah.
- Hanukk - You got it.
- Yeah, I got it.
You've got What is the problem with these Muggles? Where has the spirit of the season gone? Ho ho ho.
Perhaps I shall restore it.
By asking rashanda to our annual holiday party.
Oh, rashanda, Join me on this night.
And confront your date! - Look, Mr.
Morte - Okay, please, rashanda, Call me voldy.
Or Tom marvolo riddle.
Or call me "he who must not be named.
" I don't care as long as you call me.
You see what I did there? You see? Aha.
Yeah.
- Look, Mr.
Mort, I just I - You know what? It's because I'm too pale, right? That's what it is.
- It's the one vein, isn't it? - No no, That vein is actually quite becoming.
I just don't date the boss or dark lords that want to control the universe.
Rashanda, please.
We're all adults here.
Just say it's the vein.
Fine, it's the vein.
I respect your honesty.
See you in the break room.
Should I say the break-my-heart room? Eugene Between rashanda's rejections.
And little malibu voldy not selling, I'm going to slash My prices again.
I'm not sure how this Christmas could possibly get any worse.
No! Potter! Harry Potter! Avada keda Uh, excuse me, sir.
I know you told me not to bother you during a curse, But that's not actually Harry Potter.
That's just a display for the dolls.
They're flying off the shelves.
Much better than malibu voldie You're quite right, Eugene.
Thank you.
I almost made the most fatal of mistakes.
And avada kedavra! I've done it! I've done it! Ha ha ha! I've defeated Harry Potter Dolls.
Harry Potter dolls are no more! The dark lord has prevailed! The prophecy has come to pass.
Christmas is the loneliest time of the year.
Oh, don't cry! Today's a wonderful day! Potter! Harry Potter, I will destroy you! No big bad Dumbledore to save you now, Potter.
Oh ho ho, cry about it.
Join me.
Cry.
C'mon, Tom, let's finish this the way we started Together.
Merry Christmas, Tom.
Yay, merry Christmas! - Yay yay yay, it's Christmas, Tom! - No no no! No! Harry Christmas.
More random fun is coming right up.
Stick around.
He is The coolest kid in school.
hey, love don't you buy me don't you buy me nothing, yeah your lips on my lips that's a merry merry Christmas.
He doesn't feel the need to jingle All the way.
He convinced Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer To go green.
When he plays dreidel It's available on pay-per-view.
He is The coolest kid in school.
I don't always have my potato pancakes with apple sauce, But when I do, I prefer tanta dava's.
Squishy delishy apple-palooza.
Stay in hebrew school, my friends.
- Give it up for - Justin bieber! You guys having a good holiday? it's the most beautiful time lights fill the streets, spreading so much cheer I should be playing in the winter snow but I'ma be under the mistletoe I don't wanna miss out on the holiday but I can't stop staring at your face I should be playing in the winter snow but I'ma be under the mistletoe with you - shawty, with you.
- With you - with you - shawty, with you - under the mistletoe, yeah.
- Yeah everyone's gathering around the fire chestnuts roasting like a hot July I should be making a list, I know but I'ma be under the mistletoe word on the street, Santa's coming tonight reindeers flying through the sky so high I should be making a list, I know but I'ma be under the mistletoe with you - shawty, with you.
- With you shawty, with you under the mistletoe, yeah with you - shawty, with you.
- With you - with you - shawty, with you under the mistletoe hey, love the wise men followed a star the way I followed my heart and it led me to a miracle hey, love don't you buy me don't you buy me nothing your lips on my lips that's a merry merry Christmas it's the most beautiful time of the year lights fill the streets spreading so much cheer I should be playing in the winter snow but I'ma be under the mistletoe - I don't wanna miss out on the holiday - holiday but I can't stop staring at your face - I should be playing in the winter snow - I know but I'ma be under the mistletoe with you - shawty, with you.
- With you shawty, with you - with you, under the mistletoe - the mistletoe, yeah with you - oh girl, yeah yeah.
- Shawty, with you, with you - shawty, with you, with you - yeah yeah yeah under the mistletoe kiss me underneath the mistletoe show me baby that you love me so oh oh oh oh oh oh, yeah kiss me under kiss me underneath the mistletoe yeah yeah.
Let's hear it one more time.
For Justin bieber! it's a party, get down "so random!" get down arty, "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around a fantastic journey, and that it of this you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, to roll cause it's time with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random and do our thing, come on it's a party, get down.
"so random!"