Tangled: The Series (2017) s01e18 Episode Script

1 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) I got the wind in my hair and a fire within 'Cause there's something beginning I got a mystery to solve And excitement to spare Got a beautiful breeze blowing through I'm ready to follow it who knows where And I'll get there I swear With the wind in my hair So it comes to this war! (SHOUTS) Dad, please! You're not thinking clearly.
This is a huge mistake.
Guards! Seize the princess and her friends.
Dad, no! Don't do this! KING FREDERIC: Nothing is more important than peace.
Yes, but, Your Majesty, your proposed trade accord with the Griffin of Pittsford weighs greatly in his favor.
- Corona stands to lose - Corona can afford it, Nigel.
By cementing this trade, we secure peace between our two nations.
By allowing it to dissolve, we risk sending the seven kingdoms on a path to war.
But how do we know if the Griffin will accept? He's notoriously insecure, and he's been known to walk away from the table at the slightest offense.
Nigel, my friend, you are far too uptight.
Besides, the Griffin's welcoming banquet is in good hands.
And so, to you, the wise Griffin of Pittsford, I say, let us treat our new friendship like a budding flower, one we will nurture with love, knowing that it will bloom into something beautiful.
(WHINNIES) Uh, I don't think you're going to win over the Griffin with a schmaltzy speech about puppies and rainbows.
I didn't say anything about puppies! The rainbow was a metaphor.
(SIGHS) Uh, so how's your prep work going for running your first security checkpoint? Let's put it this way.
There is nothing my station isn't going to be ready for.
Ha ha! Fog machine, baby! Uh, Eugene, why do you need that? You made me the emcee, remember? Picture this: Lights go dim.
The fog rolls in.
(COUGHING) And all eyes are on me, as it should be.
Ladies and gentlemen, let's show the Griffin just how we do things in Corona.
It's time to get this party started! - (COUGHS) - I'll hold it just that long.
No.
No way, Eugene.
Fog would make it impossible to see clearly enough to do my job.
A fog machine does seem a bit unnecessary.
Look, Blondie, I love you and I don't want to point fingers, mostly because I just got mine manicured and I don't want to show anyone up, but if you really want to talk about unnecessary, we should probably discuss the gift baskets you made.
Seriously, did you really have to paint a portrait for every guest? Do you really need six guards at your checkpoint? Sorry! Ugh, that was so rude.
Ah, that's my girl.
You can't even argue without being nice.
Yeah.
Do you always have to be so you? Well, it's better than always being callous.
I'm not callous.
I am practical.
EUGENE: Yeah, practically heartless.
Ah, boy.
Here we go again.
That's, like, their third fight this week.
They sound like my in-laws.
If I had in-laws.
Boy, I wish I were married.
(GASPS) Self-absorbed? How dare you! I don't have to take this.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to the market to buy more props for my big night! Guys, hold on.
We've all been under a lot of pressure getting ready for this banquet.
How about we take a breather and go to the marketplace together? (HARRUMPHS) Hmm.
(SIGHS) Oh! A confetti cannon's a great idea.
My fan's are gonna love it.
- Tell her, Blondie.
- Yeah, I'm not gonna tell her that.
Put it down, Eugene.
There is no way you're bringing that thing back to the castle.
Oh, so now you're taking her side, huh? I'm not taking anyone's side, Eugene.
- Well, maybe you should for once.
- Okay.
Then sign me up for the side that says, "This is all ridiculous.
" Seems like our friends are going through a rough patch.
(KNICKERS) I've seen this many times.
They are the growing pains that all strong relationships must endure.
Eventually, they will learn to live with each other's flaws and appreciate their strengths, but that sort of thing takes time.
But, if you'd like to speed things along this mood tonic may help to soften some of those flaws.
One drop for each of them is all it will take.
One.
Understand? (SNORTS) Good call, Xavier, old boy.
The fate of those kids could not be in safer hands.
Don't you dare break my cannon! CASSANDRA: And I'm gonna break more than that if you don't cool it with these props.
RAPUNZEL: Stop yelling! - Everybody, stop yelling! - EUGENE: Hey, hey, hey! Hands off! (GRUNTS) - CASSANDRA: Give me that! - EUGENE: No! (CRASHES) EUGENE: Oh, well, nice going, Cass! You broke my confetti cannon.
CASSANDRA: You're lucky.
I was aiming for your face! - (DOOR SLAMS OPEN) - (SCREAMS) RAPUNZEL: Cass, unh-uh! Put your sword down.
And that dagger! Come on! Wait, wait, wait (THUDS) Hey, let's all have some lemonade.
I know I could use some.
- (SNORTS) - (SQUEAKS) Thanks, little buddy.
My throat was getting all sore from all this yelling.
At least someone around here is considerate.
(SQUEAKING) Blech! Really not a fan of lemonade.
It's bitter.
I like it.
Why am I not surprised? You know what, Eugene? I can kind of see how that cannon would be fun.
but at least consider the risk.
What was I thinking? (NEIGHS) You are so right, Cassandra.
Firing a cannon could be dangerous! (SQUEAKING) - (CRASHES) - (GASPS) (LOUD CRASH) (GASPS) You guys okay? Good, because then you can make me a sandwich to get the taste of this lemonade out of my mouth.
RAPUNZEL: The Griffin had better appreciate all the work we're putting into this banquet.
"So, in conclusion, Griffin, Pittsford is the pits.
" Wow, that was super! Way to flip the script on the whole "welcome" thing.
- What do you think, Eugene? - Me? Uh oh uh Uh, well, I mean this in the kindest way possible, but it seems the whole point of this banquet is to, you know, impress the Griffin, and if that's the case, then I might um consider saying something completely opposite of what you just said.
(SCOFFS) Really? Grow a spine, Fitzherbert.
I'm just calling it like it is.
Uh-oh! You sound upset.
Tickle fight! RAPUNZEL: Stop it! Leave me alone! Stan? Pete? Uh, was there something you would like to contribute to this discussion? Oh, sorry, Your Highness.
You've been all acting a little unusual lately.
Is that so? And and just how are we acting unusual, pinhead? Well, you just called me "pinhead," for one.
So?! Wait, wait a second.
What is going on here? It's like (GROANS) It's like we're the total opposite of who we are, normally.
I have been feeling a little peppy.
And I'm not my normal, confident self.
(CRYING) And I'm really sorry for that.
Can it! I gotta think! (NICKERS) Pascal! Maximus! What did you two do? And don't try to cute-squeak your way out of this, 'cause this princess ain't buying it! What? I was trying to help Max and Pascal teach you a lesson.
The tonic brings out the opposite of your defining personal characteristics.
So that's why I'm less cheerful, Eugene's a wimp, - and Cass - Wee! Best opposite day, ever! I don't understand it.
The effect should have subsided by now.
It was supposed to be one drop each.
This much will take days to wear off.
Days?! Oh! The banquet is tonight! You know what? I take responsibility for this.
Wait, no.
I'm sorry, I don't.
Responsibility terrifies me.
Listen, I can concoct an elixir that will reverse your personalities back to normal.
But I'll need the oil from the three-leaf echo plant, found only atop Mount Saison.
The three-leaf is extremely rare and grows among its two-leaf cousin.
It's a two-hour trek.
Huzzah! Non-paved road trip with my two best buds.
There is no time to go ourselves.
Max, Pascal, you clowns got us into this mess, now you have to get us out of it! (SNORTS) XAVIER (IN VOICE-OVER): The three-leaf is extremely rare and grows among its two-leaf cousin.
(SQUEAKS) (NICKERS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) (SQUEAKS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Be tough.
Be tough.
(SIGHS) (THUDDING FOOTSTEPS) Why, hello there, sweetie.
May I please see your invitation? I lost it.
Oh what the heck? You look trustworthy.
Come on in.
It's nice to meet someone who's not afraid to show some compassion.
Cassandra, you just let that man in without a proper security check.
I can't believe your poor judgment.
You are relieved of your security duty.
Aw, fiddlesticks.
Hey, buddy, wait up! (NEIGHS) (SQUEAKING) (GASPS) (GROANS) (SNORING) (WHINNIES) (FANFARE PLAYING) (YAWNS) Boring.
May I present (SCOFFS) the Griffin of Pittsford.
- My goodness.
- (GASPS, WHISPERS) (CLEARS THROAT) Your Excellency, we're beyond delighted you could join us.
"Beyond delighted"? What is that supposed to mean? Like surprised? You think I wasn't gonna show up? What do you take me for, some kind of a jerk? Uh um No, I simply meant that Or maybe you didn't think I could get here.
Corona's not the only place that has horse and carriages, you know.
Pittsford's got those things in spades! Whoa! Insecure much, half-pint? - Rapunzel! Uh, I'm so sorry.
- (GRUMBLING) - She's - Oh, that's our Rapunzel.
Always quick with a joke.
Why don't you go see to getting this evening's festivities rolling? Ugh.
Whatever.
Of course, you must know that, um, "half-pint" is a, um term of endearment in Corona.
You must have a half-pint of liquid gold running through your veins.
I knew that! You think I didn't know that? What am I, uncultured? - (RAPUNZEL SIGHS) - ANNOUNCER: And now the event's master of ceremonies, Eugene Fitzherbert! (APPLAUSE) Ugh.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, let's get this peace party started.
So, um let me start again.
Ladies and gent (SCREAMS) You know what? I have had it with this phony banquet! We are only doing this to be nice to you, Griffin! But you need us! We don't need you! So, why don't you just suck up your pride and accept Corona's help? (GRUMBLING) (LOUD GRUMBLING) (WHINNIES TRIUMPHANTLY) (SQUEAKS) (ALL COUGHING) I think I feel normal again! - And so do I! - No one cares how you feel.
And so does she! - Win 'em back, Blondie! - Yeah, do your thing, Raps.
(SIGHS) Thanks, guys.
Ladies and gentlemen, have I got a funny story Ah! Boo! Boo! Mom? (GIGGLING) Ah! Oh, no! The vapor reversed everyone's personalities! Corona's offer of partnership was a mistake.
It's time to show the world the true power she wields! (GASPS) So it comes to this war! Wait a minute, the counter-elixir reversed everybody's personalities? (WAR CRIES) Dad, please! - (GRUNTS) - You're not thinking clearly.
This is a huge mistake.
Guards! Seize the princess and her friends! Dad, no! Don't do this! This is all Max and Pascal's fault.
No, this is our fault.
We've been jerks to each other and Max and Pascal were only trying to help.
Look, guys, we are not perfect.
Cass, you could show a bit more compassion, and Eugene, a dose of humility every now and then wouldn't hurt.
And maybe even I don't have to be so upbeat all the time.
And I should be more frank when I'm annoyed with things.
My point is, you guys are my best friends, and even though there are things about us that annoy each other, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Well, well.
Glad to see the schmaltz is back.
(LAUGHS) And so is the cynicism.
Now, there's one characteristic we all have in common: we don't quit.
And last time I checked, we have a war to stop.
You heard her, Eugene.
- Pick that lock! - On it.
Nabbed it while getting arrested.
Sure, that vapor may have turned upstairs into utter chaos, but even in the darkest hour, a valiant and skilled swashbuckler, such as myself, must keep his wits about him.
So you're welcome, ladies.
Hmm? Humility.
Right.
(LAUGHING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (SWORDS CLANG) Eugene, charm the crowd to safety! Cass, handle the guards and clear a path! I will go deal with my dad.
Deep fried burgers in the kitchen, and somehow, they're zero calories.
I think I saw someone take off with your carriage.
Follow me if you want to see a duckling who's friends with a kitty.
Okay, everything I promised is magically outside this room containing this giant fight.
That's it, keep coming.
Nothing to see there.
This way, folks.
(GRUNTS) Cassandra.
Dad? Come on, I bet I'm better at swords than you are.
(GRUNTS) I bet you I could swing my sword better than you! I bet you! Ow! You're not playing fair! (GROANING) Dad, no! Remember who you are, and what Corona stands for.
You have to fight the potion.
You can beat it! Please! Daughter, I fear your free spirit and hopeless optimism are a detriment to this mighty kingdom.
A queen cannot afford to show such sentimentality.
(GROANING) Stop it! That's not what you do! I'm gonna tell.
(GRUNTS) I knew letting you in was a good idea.
Don't you know children aren't supposed to play with sharp objects? (WAILING) I'm not playing with you anymore! Whew! Thanks for your help! Wait, why didn't your personality change? What personality? (MUTTERING) You're right, Dad.
There is a time and place for sentimentality.
And this is not one of them! If you are so sure you are doing the right thing, then you should have no problem going through your free-spirit daughter to do it.
I I'm sorry.
Ah, come on! I wanna see a brawl! (MUTTERING) - Aah! - (CRASHES) Let this be the start of a centuries-long friendship.
I'm still not sure what happened last night, but Rapunzel was right.
I needed to swallow my pride and accept help.
Thank you, Princess.
(GRIFFIN BLOWING) Well, that wasn't how I imagined things going.
You said it.
It's terrifying to think something so small could have such an effect.
Phew! Ugh.
Good riddance.
(CLINKS) VARIAN: Wow.
What do we have here? (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) Now I got my eyes opening wide My heart burning like fire It feels like I'm so alive I'm never going back Whatever I want now, I'm gonna chase Who I am, I can't contain it I'm not gonna hold it in 'Cause there's more of me to give Oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh Oh, yeah There's more of me to give