The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s01e18 Episode Script

1
Kokomi Teruhashi
is considered as the perfect beauty
by herself and others.
He will be so surprised
when I suddenly show up.
SAIKI
I can't do this!
Calm down.
I am not going there to see Saiki.
I am going there to learn
cooking from his mother.
Oh, no! I rang the neighbor's doorbell!
-Yes?
-However, she dislikes one thing.
Sorry. I made a mistake.
Who are you?
Children.
Sorry. I pressed the button by mistake.
He saw me and ran away.
That is because children
are indifferent to her beauty.
What is it?
Come on, Cyborg Cider-Man Version Two!
Let go of me. Good grief.
Someone suspicious is here!
Saiki?
I sought refuge here because I knew that
you, who are loved by gods, was coming.
But you still found me.
Welcome, Kokomi!
It has been a long time!
Welcome, Yuuta.
From this angle,
you two look like a married couple.
What are you saying?
Quit that.
Are you two going on a date?
No!
You said that you would teach me
how to cook before.
You came here to see me?
I'm so glad. I'll get ready.
Sorry for barging in.
A married couple?
Me and Saiki?
We would not fit together at all.
DELIGHTED
What is he looking at?
Perhaps he is experiencing his first love.
Hello, Yuuta.
This brat.
Right! What about this?
I brought some cake. Do you want some?
Cake?
I got him now!
I have an extra piece.
So if you would like to
Wow! Cake!
Good thing I got them from that cake shop.
They look delicious.
What is this?
This one must be for Ku.
No!
The chef picked them out!
It doesn't mean anything.
Is that so?
Please take whichever you want.
All right!
Why did he have to give me that cake?
Well, in this case,
I would like Saiki to eat that one.
I sort of like this flavor.
Thanks.
It was so delicious.
Yes. Not bad.
I am glad you liked them.
Did you like yours, Yuuta?
Yes! I like that flavor.
You need to say thanks to Kokomi then.
Thanks, ma'am!
MA'AM
Who?
Who are you calling ma'am?
That's too much.
There it is.
That was number four on the list
of words I will never be told.
This brat!
That is some ranking.
PHONE RINGING
The phone.
I shall not forgive him.
I shall have my revenge.
When you realize my beauty,
I will find you.
I'm so bored.
I will suddenly appear before you.
Who is that beautiful woman?
I love you!
I will say this.
Sorry. After all, you called me ma'am.
Perfect!
I didn't want to see Teruhashi like this.
However, I can use this
as a tool to combat her.
Sorry, Kokomi!
I forgot that
I had a town council meeting!
I will come again.
You can wait here if you want to.
It should end in 30 minutes.
Ku, keep her company.
I will be alone with Saiki.
If he wasn't here
Can I watch TV?
-Don't you have your own TV?
-What?
Nothing! Let's watch TV!
This is not good.
I cannot get this angry at a child.
He's distracted. Let's have some
adult conversation, just the two of us.
Do you like children?
I love them!
You're watching TV too?
What are you doing, Saiki?
I guess we can't be alone.
That's so cool.
I'm watching this. Be quiet.
Number 31 on the list of words
I will never be told!
How far down does that ranking go?
I just remembered something.
I need to go home.
Tell your mother I'm sorry.
Sorry, but I won.
I will make coffee jelly for Yuuta later.
Let me protect the people!
What is that sweet smell? Who are you?
I'm here to defeat Baron Cola!
I trust you, Peach T Girl!
What are you thinking?
No. They are different people.
That was her!
They don't look alike at all!
Wait! Peach T Girl!
What?
After that, Yuuta took a liking to her.
FAMILY RESTAURAN
I left my wallet at home.
Most people would be panicking.
But I am a psychic.
If I go to the bathroom
and teleport to grab my wallet,
problem solved.
Whatever. There are other solutions.
I came up with 182 different solutions.
However, all of them are
either against the law
or completely lacking in morality.
I cannot execute them.
They violate my principle of
not causing trouble to others.
However, I cannot think of a safe plan.
The problem is this location.
There are too many people
and this seat is highly visible.
I am also wearing these clothes today.
They are flashier than usual.
I cannot teleport.
Invisibility requires one minute.
I cannot use that either.
I could use telepathy to call someone
and have them bring money.
Should I call my mother?
Ku! Why do you need money?
What happened to you?
-I brought as much as I can.
-I don't want to upset her.
What about my father?
Kusuo, you are so forgetful!
No. That'd be too annoying.
What about Nendo, Kaido, or Toritsuka?
Out of the question.
I don't care about bothering them,
but I refuse to ask them for help.
In that case, there is only one option.
Apport.
That power fits this situation perfectly.
However, to use this,
I need to send something on hand
which has the same value.
Even in the end times,
these would not be worth 980 yen.
However, I know a trick.
The item you send
does not have to
be exactly the same value.
For 100 yen, you can
send something between 90 and 110 yen.
For a 100-million-yen item, you can
send something between 90 and 110 million.
From 100 yen,
I can reach 980 the shortest in 25 times.
That is a lot.
If I start at two yen,
how long will this take?
I need more on hand.
That means clothing. I can't use my pants.
I can't send this cardigan either.
It is too flashy.
How about Zebra Cardigan?
-Something related to coffee jelly
-They've already given me a nickname.
It would be obvious if it disappeared.
Sending my shirt would be strange too.
The nickname committee
would really struggle.
Is that my only choice?
It will get cold.
There go my socks.
What did you think I was sending?
It would be foolish to send
my own underwear.
I haven't been this excited
seeing 500 yen since elementary school.
Now I need to exchange this
with something worth 550 yen.
Apport!
Apport!
Why are there underpants?
Okay. I increased the value by 100 yen.
Let's keep it up. Apport!
This is The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.
Extra Story of Psychics!
The character has my name, so I bought it.
What a coincidence.
This should be on my bookshelf though.
Don't think about that now.
This is bad.
There is nothing between 650 and 715 yen
in my house.
I have no choice. I'll need to use them.
Apport!
You're the person who called before,
right?
Yes!
Can you show me the manuscript?
You don't need to show me that.
This is father's belt.
It's really cheap.
Whatever. Let's keep it going.
Apport!
All right! Time to eat!
This meat is really tough.
It's still hot. Apport!
Today, we will review integration
by substitution of pi.
Kaido!
Why are you eating now?
It's not lunchtime yet!
Apport!
This is awesome!
These butt and boobs are amazing.
What? Pi?
Pervert! Are you really the editor?
Of course! Don't be tricked by appearance!
Apport!
I am an editor here!
I knew you weren't!
Okay. This will be the last one!
I did it!
The straw millionaire trick accomplished!
I knew this situation was nothing for me.
-Did the guy with no fashion sense leave?
-Yes.
They all helped me this time.
Perhaps only 2%,
but I'll need to thank them.
Where did this pervert come from?
You're wrong! I work here!
How dare you eat during class?
I am going to call your parents!
I thought it tasted odd. This is a belt!
I already ate half.
I lost my precious magazine!
-Someone help me!
-Good grief.
It would have been better
if I had washed a few dishes.
I did it!
I finally finished it!
This is a 1:100 scale
War Machine Ribion model!
-It looks great, right?
-Yes. Go show it to Mom.
Look! There's a cockpit!
-War Machine Ribion was destroyed!
-It was weak for a war machine.
-Kusuo! How could you?
-It wasn't me.
I would have done that two seconds later.
But this was his doing.
Long time, no see!
Ribion
Kusuo. Could you fix this?
Don't ignore me!
Good grief. Give it to me.
Really?
I put it back to its original state.
Good luck.
I thought it was odd
how easily you agreed.
I have to start all over now.
-You are the only one who supports me.
-Give me food.
It was his fault to begin with.
I will go get your meal.
Humans are so easy.
He hasn't changed much.
If a stray cat came into a house,
most people would get more excited.
Kitty! Where did you come from?
When will he act like that?
He's picking me up!
I knew these were his true feelings!
No human can withstand
the cuteness of cats!
-Let me in!
-He hasn't changed either.
Open up! At least, let me eat!
What is this? It looks like food.
Amp, here's your food!
Amp? Where did he go?
You made me lose my appetite. Amp.
No way!
Mother has a cat allergy.
We can't let him in the house.
That's true.
What's wrong?
Kusuo! Help!
Amp is down!
That much is true.
Ambulance! No, wait. Which number
should I dial for a vet ambulance?
-Isn't it two something? Is it 229 maybe?
-Calm down. I know what happened.
He swallowed something.
Kusuo, can you get it out?
Right! Turn time back!
Impossible.
I just used that power
on the model before.
Even if I bring him back,
the model piece will stay stuck.
-What now?
-Don't worry.
There are two ways to save him.
Either is fine. Just do something!
The first way is to cut his neck open,
-take out the piece and restore his life.
-I'll pick the second option.
Good grief. The first one is much easier.
Kusuo?
I'm here.
-Kusuo? You're so small! So small!
-Shut up. I made myself smaller.
I can go inside Amp now.
You can do anything, Kusuo!
Don't touch me.
Are you sure he won't just eat you?
Even if he does, I can teleport back out.
What's wrong? Did something happen?
He stinks.
That breath hinders his cuteness.
This isn't the time for that!
Got it. I'm getting it from both sides.
What is that?
I got it.
You did it!
He's awake!
-That sounded suspicious.
-Amp!
My dead grandmother
was waving at me by a river.
That was just a maneki-neko.
He's so cute when he sleeps.
Why are you still small?
This effect lasts for one hour.
-Where are you going?
-Restroom.
Wait! Don't move around!
What if I accidentally step on you?
Wait.
Aren't I the one with all the power here?
This is my chance to show
the importance of a father.
You shouldn't suddenly collapse.
You are so important, after all.
Right.
However, it will take me a while
to get to the bathroom like this.
I should just teleport there.
That was only a drop.
This size is truly inconvenient.
I was able to find this
under the refrigerator.
There are some advantages after all.
In that moment, Saiki's heart
was seized by a dark fear.
This was a feeling that Saiki
had never experienced before.
It's chasing me!
I can't outrun it like this!
I need to get bigger!
What?
-Ribion!
-Do something, all-important father!
A cockroach! Honey!
It's flying at me!
I'm finished.
A treat.
What are you doing?
I've changed my mind about you, Amp.
Is that Kongo, a third-year student?
I'll bump into him and demand cash.
I can read people's minds with telepathy.
Why are you dodging me?
Hand over your money!
Good grief.
Even if I can read minds,
this is the reality I face.
Are you mocking me?
I already have a method
for handling this grease ball.
There is one other use for telepathy.
What are you doing?
I can send messages through telepathy.
Kongo! Quit that!
You'll graduate soon!
Do you want to repeat a grade?
That's not fair, Matsuzaki!
This has nothing to do with graduation!
It does.
If you want to graduate,
clean up your act!
Do something about your hair and clothing!
I know!
I am trying to change.
I was going to use his money
to get my hair cut!
Your reasoning is flawed.
-I'll get you for this!
-Stop! I'm not done with you yet!
Sorry. He was my former student.
I would like to see him graduate.
Not going to happen.
I'm so annoyed.
Him again?
All that four-eyes had to do
was hand over his money!
So, it was my fault?
Perfect. Lend me some money.
He's doing it again.
He's a disgrace to the school.
-What is going on?
-That uniform is PK Academy's.
-I must call the school.
-What are those teachers doing?
I don't care if he is held back,
but I don't want to see
the image of the school hurt.
I have no choice.
-Hand over the shiitake mushrooms!
-Shiitake?
No! Not shiitake! Shiitake!
What is happening? Strange.
My head is filled with shiitake!
By sending repeated thoughts,
I can disrupt a person's thoughts.
There was no reason
why I chose the word shiitake.
The supermarket is down this road.
Wait! Shiitake! Hey, Takeshi!
I see. He just wanted some shiitake.
I am relieved if that's the case.
TODAY'S SPECIAL
HAMBURG STEAK
What was that all about?
BARBER MUNEMURA
I'll have to pay myself.
A haircut?
Right. He did say
that he wanted money for a haircut.
That means that he was serious
about changing that terrible hairstyle.
How would you like it cut?
All he needs to do is wear it down.
I am graduating soon.
I want a more relaxed look.
Right. I'll go with a punch perm.
Roger that.
What is relaxing about a punch perm?
You'll look even scarier.
You have no chance
of graduating like that.
Mind lullaby!
Sleep little baby
That was quick.
-I'm going to change your hairstyle.
-What?
Sir!
All done.
That was quick. How does it look?
Why did you shave my head?
You told me to.
I said I wanted a punch perm!
Maybe I look like ABZO
Of course I don't.
I'll rip your head off!
-ABZO.
-What? ABZO?
Right! You look like ABZO!
-Seriously?
-Seriously.
-Good morning!
-Good morning!
I see you shaved your head.
But that won't be enough to graduate.
Your clothing breaks school rules.
Fix them by tomorrow.
If I graduate, I'll get you back for this.
I knew I shouldn't let this guy graduate.
He hasn't changed at all.
You're that four-eyes from yesterday!
You must learn a lesson.
Immediate Telepathy!
By touching the subject,
I can send visual images by telepathy.
Whenever you cause problems
and complaints come to the school.
Mr. Matsuzaki always goes to apologize.
He prevents other teachers
from getting involved.
He stays at school late every day for you.
For the first time, there were
no complaints about you yesterday.
When he saw that you shaved your head,
his heart was filled with hope.
You need to learn this truth.
Seriously?
-Is that Kongo?
-What happened?
Kongo? Hey!
Thank you for all your support.
It is all clear to me now.
I will be graduating soon, but thank you.
Kongo. You are being held back.
You were absent for too many days.
But if you work hard next year
Kongo!
OK KARAOKE
Hey! Who stopped my song?
Saiki, what will you sing?
I have not come to sing. I came to eat.
Grand Chocolate Parfait! Beautiful!
I ordered it.
Saiki, we are here to make memories
as a class today.
Every person must sing at least once.
I hate the atmosphere of going
to a karaoke in a large group.
Whatever.
Before it is my turn,
I'll finish my parfait and go home.
I'll just pick anything.
I picked a weird one.
Whatever. I won't have to sing.
I'll just relax and wait for my parfait.
-It's finally happening!
-Teruhashi!
The class idol is going to sing!
I feel sort of shy.
I never imagined I would be able to
-hear Teruhashi sing.
-Her voice is so beautiful.
You're crying already?
Saiki is here too. Welcome to my concert.
This isn't your concert.
"Isn't it unfair if she has
a wonderful singing voice
on top of her beautiful face
and great personality?
She has to be tone-deaf."
Would that be what they are thinking?
But sorry
I'm super-duper good at singing
Because I am the perfect pretty girl
You know I'm awesome at everything
Don't bother trying to resist me
I am such a cute and kind and pretty girl
That soon enough
You're gonna say "Oh" to me
Oh, you'll say it to me
-Song aside, those lyrics were the worst.
-A 98! I've never seen such a high score!
I am up next.
-You can be a professional singer!
-I was so moved!
-You should be a singer!
-Me? No way.
Sing another song!
Someone look at the lost lamb behind you.
Nice singing.
Sorry for the wait.
-Grand Chocolate
-It's here!
That's mine!
What? Did someone order one before me?
It came as soon as I ordered it.
It took less than a minute.
That's my parfait!
How dare you?
I have been waiting for 15 minutes!
I want to steal it, but I have no choice.
So good!
When it is your turn to sing,
I will spike the microphone
when you get to the chorus.
I hope it gets awkward in here.
I need to wait another 15 minutes.
There are nine songs in front of mine.
I have time.
Who is next?
That's me!
You? Good grief.
Time to shut down my hearing.
Pal! Let's sing a duet.
What is this gorilla saying?
Nendo and Saiki will sing a duet!
-This is bad. People are looking.
-Do it!
I have no choice.
-What? A blackout?
-Everyone calm down!
There they are!
Okay! Let's sing, pal!
Pal?
This is the risk I should take.
I have come too far to give up now.
No matter what, I am eating
that grand chocolate parfait!
That should be long enough.
Why is it so quiet?
Kaido? What happened?
Is he dead?
Saiki?
He's alive. What happened here?
-After that, Nendo sang by himself.
-I guess it's just me then!
After that, hell opened up.
It felt like an orchestra made up
of everything with a horrible sound.
Before I lost consciousness,
I remember thinking that the god of death
must sing like him.
I'm actually curious now.
What is wrong with you?
Did my singing voice lull you to sleep?
-I'll sing something more exciting then.
-How bad was it?
Isn't that your dessert?
The waiter brought it before.
But he could not escape in time.
Thank you, waiter.
Your death was not in vain.
Time to eat.
Saiki! You're up next.
What are you saying? I'm eighth in line.
Look. "Go! Go! Party Time Samba!" right?
Why?
The order got deleted
after that blackout before.
So I put in the songs I remembered.
Oh, no!
-Saiki is up next.
-"Party Time Samba"?
-Seriously?
-Good luck, Saiki!
This is bad.
At this rate, my first spoken line
will be "Oh! Yes! Party Time!"
-Where are you going?
-Don't run away!
I can't sing this alone.
Duet?
-I need to use the bathroom!
-I really have to go too!
Time to eat.
Okay! Let's sing!
Unbelievable.
This time I forgot my wallet,
got really small,
and nearly sang a song.
At least I got to eat
the Grand Chocolate Parfait.
Next time
I'll go to the country side
and introduce my grandparents.
Subtitle translation by James Burns