The Garfield Show (2008) s01e18 Episode Script

1
-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]
[upbeat theme song playing]
- [Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]
[Garfield chomping]
[Garfield sighs]
Hmm. Those were tasty cookies.
But I definitely could use
another snack. Or two.
Problem is, I'd have to get up
and go to the kitchen.
-Odie!
-[Odie] Huh?
Fetch me something to eat.
-[toy squeaks]
-Thanks, but no thanks.
Odie, I don't eat squeaky rubber bones.
Nobody does, for that matter.
Except for you, of course.
Hmm. Should I get up and go
to the kitchen?
Tough decision.
So far it's been a perfect day.
Woke up at 10, had breakfast.
Took a little nap, had lunch.
Watched some TV. Took a little nap.
Watched some
[house rumbling]
Oh, no! It's the end of the world
and I'm still hungry!
What the?
[whooshing]
[Garfield screaming]
[screaming]
[heart pounding]
-[Garfield 1] Huh?
-[Garfield 2] What?
No!
What was that?
Did that really happen?
Yeah, everything seems to be alright.
Probably some kind of hallucination
due to extreme hunger.
Let's grab something to eat.
Yaaa!
[Jon purring]
Okay, that's weird.
[Odie yipping]
[Jon yowling]
[Odie whimpers]
Hi, Garfield. I came for Jon's check-up.
Oh, sure, he's right over there.
- What?
- I came for Jon's check-up. Remember?
You called me yesterday
and asked me to come take a look at him.
What is going on around here?
Are you alright, Garfield? You look tense.
Have you been working late
on your drawings again?
Huh? My drawings? What drawings?
Okay, Jon, let's take a look at you.
You seem to be slightly overweight.
I'll probably have to put you
on a low-calorie diet.
What about dining out tonight, Garfield?
There's a new Siamese restaurant downtown.
Supposed to be first class.
I managed to book us a table.
Restaurant? Yeah, why not?
It's a good idea.
I have to get out of here!
Okay. Much better. Much, much better.
I'm fully awake now.
It was all a bad dream.
Just a bad, bad, very weird dream.
[cat] Hi, Garfield!
Don't forget poker night on Friday!
-Huh?
-[cat 2] Yo, Garfield, my man!
Where's your trash? It's collection day.
D'oh
[cats laughing]
[Garfield] Whoa!
[dog barking]
Aaaaah!
[woman meows]
[cat] Arrivederci!
[Vito snoring]
I don't believe it! I don't believe it!
Where am I?
What is this crazy world
where cats act like humans
and humans act like cats?
Creepy.
Maybe if I go back inside,
everything will be back to normal.
Oh, there you are.
I'm finished with Jon.
He is ten pounds overweight.
He will need to follow a diet
of boiled rice for two weeks.
[phone rings]
Why are you staring at me like that?
[phone rings]
-[ring]
-Aren't you gonna answer your phone?
[cuckoo clock chimes]
There are days where I really
don't understand you, Garfield.
-[rings]
-Hello? Yes. Just a second.
For you! It's your publisher!
Huh?
Yes?
[man] I'm still waiting
for your last drawings!
If they are not on my desk
tomorrow at 4:00,
I'm tearing up your contract
and you can find another publisher!
My contract?
Does this mean I have to work
in order to survive?
Yes, dear, like everyone else.
Oh, you spend too much time
daydreaming, Garfield.
Snap out of it. Atta-cat.
-Pick me up at 8.
-Huh?
Oh, yeah, the Siamese restaurant.
What is this horrible world
where cats have to work?
[female cat]
There is no pulse, Dr. Catgliari!
[male cat] Don't panic, nurse.
I have the
Sorry, guys.
As much as I like soap operas,
I have to find out
what this crazy world is all about.
[female cat] Parallel universes.
Do they really exist?
Or does one only find them
in science-fiction novels?
Why, you
Parallel universes?
Controversial physicist
Dr. Angus McLoon is here with us
to answer that question.
Well, Shirley, theoretically,
parallel universes could exist.
They can probably be accessed
through wormholes.
I have just invented a device
that can prove their existence.
That's it! I'm in a parallel universe!
I traveled through a wormhole
and ended up in a parallel universe!
Which explains the identical Garfield
who was going the other way,
probably to my universe.
That's fine.
But how did I end up here
in the first place?
What a terrible mishap! What did I do?
What did I do? Poor Garfield.
Aaaah!
Hey, you're the guy I just saw on TV!
G-G-Garfield! You're alive!
Is that you?
Yeah, I guess. At least I hope so.
If I weren't me anymore,
I'd really miss myself
'cause sometimes
if I say I'm talking to me,
I mean me and my
Anyway, you're the parallel
universe guy, right?
Yes. But you already know that
since I'm your best friend.
You're my best friend? Wow.
There's no accounting for taste.
Anyway, what if I told you
I'm not the Garfield you know
and that I come from a parallel universe
where humans wait on cats?
[gasps] A parallel universe?
[laughing hysterically]
My invention! It worked! It worked!
I accessed a parallel universe!
I'm a genius, Garfield! A genius!
Okay, okay, Doc, settle down.
My last meal is about to make a comeback.
After you disappeared,
I mean after the other you disappeared,
I had to make sure whether or not you,
I mean the other you, were really gone.
Hence, my presence in this house.
Very thoughtful of you, Doc.
Now how about telling me
how I ended up here?
Fair enough. Let's go to my lab.
- This is my latest invention: The WHO.
- The what?
The WHO. The WormHole Opener.
This morning I invited you,
I mean the other you,
over to my lab to show it to you.
This apparatus can open wormholes
and detect parallel universes.
Nifty. How does it work?
It's a very complex operation.
You need to throw the switches
and hit the buttons
in the exact right sequence
and I'm the only one who knows it.
The odds of anyone else
finding the right sequence
are one in a million.
Oh, yeah? A month's supply of lasagna
that I beat the odds.
Be my guest.
[electronics whirring]
-[Garfield chuckles]
-I don't believe it! You did it!
When lasagna is at stake, I always win.
[rumbling]
[Doc] Get away from the sphere! Now!
-Oh, no!
-[Garfield shrieking]
[shrieking]
Your world stinks. Cats are slaves.
They have jobs,
they have to wait on humans.
It's disgusting!
I'm really happy to go home!
[Garfield 2] And your world stinks, too.
Cats do nothing all day but eat,
sleep and watch TV.
It's so boring! I can't wait to go home!
Hey, you have drawings
to deliver tomorrow!
Got it!
And you have to pick up Arlene at 8:00!
You're dining out!
What did you say?
Home, sweet home.
-[Odie yipping]
-Hi, Odie, good to see you.
Turn around.
Don't thank me.
I said don't thank me.
Some things never change.
[Jon] Garfield, your lasagna is ready.
Fresh out of the oven!
And that's alright with me.
Ahh! It's so good to work again.
That other world where cats just sit
around doing nothing was dreadful!
How dare you stand me up!
Do you know how hard it is
to get a table in that restaurant?
There is a six-month waiting list!
Restaurant? What restaurant?
Ooh! Don't play games, Garfield!
I am not in the mood!
Oh, yes, of course,
I can explain everything.
Remember Doc McLoon?
Well, he invented a device called the WHO,
the WormHole Opener,
and I was accidentally sucked into it
and wound up in a parallel world
identical to our world
except cats weren't working.
Do you really expect me to believe
that ridiculous story?
Well, the Wormhole part at least.
[Arlene] Ooh! You're not going to get away
with this, Garfield!
And that's a promise!
You know what? Maybe that other world
wasn't so bad after all.
[chuckles]
[man] Oh, I can't talk right now, Phil.
I have to deal with a huge problem.
It's the time of the year
when one of my mailmen, Herman Post,
goes on vacation.
I may have found someone naive enough
to fill in for him, a new recruit.
-[recruit] You sent for me, sir?
-Yes! Come on in.
I have your first assignment for you.
You poor kid.
There's groceries to be bought, guys.
Right!
I was hoping to be here
when the mailman came
so I could make his existence miserable.
But then again,
I guess food is more important.
Don't worry, Herman.
You just enjoy your vacation.
I'll handle everything.
This is a rough route, Stu,
and you're fresh out of mailman school.
Don't worry. They taught us
there's no such thing as a bad route.
And so far, this sure isn't one.
Nice streets, nice houses, nice people.
Heck, even the animals are nice!
-[Herman] You haven't met the cat yet.
-What?
You're about to find out
why I need that vacation.
You see that house over there?
Oh, yeah. That looks like
a perfectly normal house.
It does.
Who'd ever think
that in that house dwells a monster.
A monster? In there? You're kidding.
I was never more serious
about anything in my life.
That's the home of Jon Arbuckle
and his cat.
His cat is the monster?
Oh, Herman.
You won't be laughing
when you meet up with the cat.
Why, just last Tuesday
I was delivering the mail
-[Garfield laughs]
-[Herman screaming]
-[trash cans clattering]
-[Garfield laughs]
[Herman, laughing] Please stop! No!
And then on Wednesday
Whew!
[Herman screams]
[screaming]
[Garfield laughing]
You never know
when the monster's gonna strike,
or what he's gonna come up with.
But if he's home, you take your life
in your hands to do your job.
Come on, he's just a cat.
You're putting me on.
Here, watch.
I'll show you I'm not afraid of any cat.
Wait! You don't know what you're
Poor kid.
He had his whole life in front of him.
You got lucky. He's not home today.
Will you relax? Go on your vacation.
I'll handle your route the whole time
and I won't have any problems.
Have a nice time at the beach!
I tried to warn him.
I tried.
That's right. I'm filling in
for your regular mailman.
He left this morning
on a two week vacation.
[Garfield] Where's Mr. Post?
Where's the man I love to torment?
Must be time for his annual
two-week vacation
so they got a substitute.
I can't wait two weeks
to cause trouble for Mr. Post.
I'll have to get rid of the substitute
in a hurry.
There are seven steps
to harassing a mailman successfully.
Step one,
establish a climate of confidence.
Let him believe he's safe at first
even if you have to demean yourself a bit.
Watch.
Purr. Purr. Purr. Purr, purr.
Aww, you must be Garfield.
My fame precedes me.
- You're just the friendliest cat!
- I know.
- I'm not gonna have trouble with you.
- Absolutely not.
Tomorrow, step two. [snickers]
Okay, it's tomorrow,
which brings us to step two, showtime!
[Stu humming]
Wha?
Hey!
[Garfield laughs]
What?
Hey!
Oooh! Whoever's doing this, stop it!
It's not funny!
Oooh!
Oh!
-[toy horn squeaks]
-[Jon] Is there a problem, sir?
Someone in that house
keeps throwing these letters back at me!
[Jon snarls]
Purr, purr.
You're not fooling me, Garfield.
Purr I know.
I wasn't fooling me, either.
What is it about you and mailmen?
I guess I just can't resist
a man in a uniform.
Okay, it's the next day
and we're up to step three:
make life interesting.
[sighs]
Alright! Now, whoever's in there!
I'm gonna put the letters through the slot
and they'd better stay in there today!
Good. Glad we have an understanding.
[humming]
[screams]
No! No! No! I delivered you!
You can't come back!
[Stu screeching]
Help! Ooh-hoo!
Yoo-hoo, Mr. Mailman. Nice delivery!
You think you're clever but you'll see.
You picked the wrong mailman to mess with!
Tomorrow, the all-important step four.
This time, I'm fighting back
with my trusty water pistol.
If that darn cat tries something,
well, everybody knows cats hate water.
Houston, we have lift-off.
[screeching]
[Morse code beeping]
[screaming]
[clang!]
What happened?
[Garfield] You dropped this.
Oh, and by the way,
that was step four: think big.
I think I'll fill this thing
with grape juice.
[humming]
[screams]
- No!
- Yes.
Step five, think bigger.
[Stu] No, no, no, no, no!
I hope he appreciates
that thanks to my help,
the mail is getting around
much faster today.
Oh, look. There goes Jon's gas bill.
[phone ringing]
Herman, this is Stu!
Stu, I had a feeling you'd be calling.
That cat, he's
The monster is invincible.
Nobody has ever defeated him.
Well, maybe you could cut
your vacation short
and together we could
The answer is no. Bye.
-[dial tone]
-I'm doomed.
[screaming]
Alright. I've got to do this.
I can't give up.
But, boy, I want to.
[shrieks]
Step six: all-out war.
[breathy whistle]
Hey, your whistle's broken, cat!
I didn't hear a thing.
You're not supposed to hear anything.
This is an ultra-sonic dog whistle.
It makes a sound so high
that only dogs can hear it.
In fact, this is a special dog whistle.
It only attracts every
mailman's worst nightmare
a pack of hyperactive Chihuahuas!
[screaming]
[Stu] A pack of hyperactive Chihuahuas!
[shrieking] Help!
You don't want to see this, folks.
Trust me. It's not pretty.
[snickers]
-[door slams]
-[Stu] Please, assign me anywhere else!
Let me deliver waste materials
to a toxic dump.
Anything. Just get me off
the route with that cat.
[sobbing]
[sighs]
I figured it would end like this.
It always does.
[phone ringing]
Excuse me, dear.
-Yes?
-[rapid-fire gibberish]
Cut my vacation short?
But, sir, I couldn't.
How much of raise?
[gibberish]
Heh heh! Throw in another hundred
and you've got a deal.
-[beep]
-Every year I take a vacation
and every year I get a raise
to come back early.
- Uh, you're off the route.
- I am?
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
I'm free, I'm free!
I never have to deliver the mail to
this street, especially that house, again!
[laughing hysterically]
And this brings us to our last step,
step seven: give yourself
a pat on the back for a job well done.
And celebrate in style.
This is the life!
Gee, I wonder what could be
keeping the mail?
[snickers]