The Looney Tunes Show s01e18 Episode Script
The DMV
Come on.
We gonna be late for the movie.
What are you wearing? I don't know about you, But I'm getting a student discount.
You're driving? You always drive.
Let me drive.
I'm not going in that thing.
- It's not a "thing", it's a parade float.
- It'll take us 18 hours to find a parking spot.
I'm driving.
- You think you get to make all the decisions? What are you, the man in the relationship? We're not in a relationship.
- Well, guess what? I'm a man, too.
And today, this man is going to drive you to the movies And buy your ticket.
So you can just Leave your wallet and keys here, Because this man is wearing the pants today.
Oops, almost forgot my purse.
Come on, you big lug! ********* - You're really going to buy my movie ticket? Of course! Here, put these on.
Is this a diaper?! Babies get in free.
Tch.
Aaah! Daffy! That was a stop sign.
Relax.
I have a way with cops.
Oh, hello, officer jerk face! I didn't recognize you away from the donut shop.
I guess you can't catch real criminals, So instead you just harass innocent citizens.
What a waste of my tax dollars! - Can I see your driver's license? My what? - Just give him your driver's license.
What's a driver's license? - You don't have a driver's license?! - Sir, you're not allowed to operate a vehicle without a driver's license.
Please step out of the car, I'm going to have to have it towed.
Towed?! But I'm just an innocent schoolgirl And this is my baby brother.
Put on the diaper! You can get your vehicle back When you get a driver's license.
You're going to scratch it! Aaah! What a man.
Hey, Lola.
- Hey, Bugs! What you doin'? - Standing on the side of the road.
Fun.
Oh, my gosh.
You're never going to believe this.
There is a guy standing on the side of the road Who looks just like you.
I'm about to hit him.
- You look just like my boyfriend! You poor thing.
I can't believe Daffy was driving without a driver's license.
That is so irresponsible.
Lola! That was a red light.
- Ooh, I can't go to jail! I'm too pretty! I won't last a day! Oh, I'll--I'll lift weights.
I'll get really muscular.
my voice will get really deep.
I'll run the place.
Hi, officer.
- Can I see your driver's license? - absolutely.
Just one second.
Hold on.
Let me see here.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, no, wait.
That's my credit card.
Here we go.
Oh, nope.
That's a recipe for salmon balls.
They're really good.
Here it is.
Oh, no, that's my frozen yogurt frequent muncher card.
Two more and I get a free waffle cone, ooh.
Oh, here it is.
It was hiding.
Oh, no, wait, that's a picture of Bugs.
Isn't he cute? Here it is.
Wait, that's a basketball card.
Manu ginóbii.
I love manu ginóbii.
Oh, here it is.
Oops, fortune cookie fortune.
"you will receive an unexpected letter from a friend".
How does the cookie know that? That's crazy.
I'm sorry, what did you want? Your driver's license.
- Oh, yeah, I don't have one of those.
This is stupid.
Sorry, I've just got to talk to my wife real quick.
Personal matter.
Daffy Duck.
Give me a driver's license.
Well, you need to take a test.
- A test?! What is this, communist russia?! Next you're going to tell me I need to take a test to breathe! Or to practice law?! Finished.
- You can take the test right over there.
I thought that was the test.
- That was the application to take the test.
- What?! Those questions were impossible.
Address, date of birth.
Who has that stuff memorized? I didn't know what to put for gender.
Here's a study guide.
I don't need your propaganda! Well, maybe I'll just skim it.
Thank goodness you were here.
That was a really hard test.
- That's the application.
You take the test over there.
Would you like a study guide? Yeah, I think I'm good.
She'll take the study guide.
- What is the speed limit in a residential area? When are roads the most slippery? Who is allowed to park in a handicapped spot? This is even harder than the application! No talking.
Ronald Regan was right.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Ok, interesting.
Ok, makes sense.
Oh, that's a good rule.
Yep, got it.
Ok, I'm ready to take the test.
- You, uh, read that awfully fast.
You sure? Uh, does a red light mean go? Failed?! How did I fail? - Well, you marked "c" for every answer.
Do you know who I am? I'm Daffy Duck! D.
Duck! What do you think the "D" in DMV stands for? It stands for "Department".
Well, that's my middle name.
Daffy Department Duck.
- Sir, you can take the test again.
You get two chances.
- Good to see my name still carries a little weight around here.
Lola? What are you doing here? - Oh, I don't have a driver's license.
Hmpphh, irresponsible.
- You can't cross two double yellow lines? Huh.
I didn't know that.
hello? - Are you allowed to drive in a bike lane? - Lola, you can't call me, you're taking a test.
Just yes or no! I'm not helping you cheat.
I said I'm not helping you cheat! - Are you allowed to park in a handicapped space? Daffy? Yes or no! It's a simple hard question.
- No! Of course you're not allowed to park in a handicapped space! What is this, communist russia? - hello? - Hey, pork.
- Oh, hi, Bugs.
- What are you doing? - Oh, uh, just-- picking up my dry cleaning.
- Would you like fries with that? - why would I want fries with my dry cleaning? Yes, jumbo fries.
- Could you give me a ride? I'm stuck at the DMV.
Sure.
Just one thing-- You have your driver's license, right? - Of course I do.
- Great.
- Are you going to want any ketchup with your fries? hello? Where are you? - Oh, sorry.
They messed up my order.
Uh, I mean the dry cleaning.
Oh, there you are.
What are you doing at the DMV? Driver's license.
What'd I do? I've never been pulled over for anything! I follow the rules of the road.
Safety first.
- You can't talk on a cell phone while driving Without a hand's-free device.
- Since when? - July first.
Ahh! I voted for that.
- Also, I'm going to need you to step out of the vehicle.
- Why? - Your license is expired.
Aaah! That one.
Oh, that's an easy one.
Who wouldn't know that one? AndDone.
Ooh! Uh, Daffy? - Oh, hey, Porky.
What are you doing here? My driver's license expired.
So irresponsible.
Hello again.
I think you'll really enjoy grading this.
- You passed.
You--you got a perfect score.
- That's because I'm passionate about the material.
Now give me my license.
- That was the written test.
You still need to pass the driver's test.
Driver's test?! How am I going to cheat on a driver's test? I'm sorry, you failed.
What?! That's impossible.
I read the rules of the road before bed.
- You get to take it one more time.
Maybe this time, don't answer "b" for every question.
Bueno.
This is speedy.
Hey, speedy, it's Bugs.
Let me ask you something.
Do you have a valid driver's license? Next! I didn't know you worked here.
Eh, double dip recession.
Gotta get them multiple revenue screams.
- You know, we could probably make this a lot easier On both of us if you just wanted to pass me right now, You know, seeing that we're neighbors and all.
- Son, you're barking up the wrong tree.
I take my job very seriously.
And I gotta warn ya-- I'm a real stickler.
If you make one, just one, Itsy bitsy mistake, You're going to fail.
Ooh.
Ahh.
You don't happen to have a phone book I could sit on, do you? That's right, that's right.
These are all right.
I have to pass.
- Lola?! - Oh, hi, Porky.
What are you doing here? my driver's license expired.
Mm-mmm.
You and Daffy.
So irresponsible.
Hi, sorry that took so long.
I'm a little nervous.
I'm not a really good test taker.
I'm more of a test giver.
Or a test watcher.
Or a taste tester.
You passed.
Perfect score.
- Oh, my gosh, I did?! I'm a really good test taker.
You failed again.
What?! What's happening? Let me take another one.
- I'm sorry, sir.
You only get two chances.
Did I at least come close? - Turn left at the next intersection.
How'd that go? Great.
- How am I supposed to get in that? - Get in it? All you asked was if I had a valid driver's license And to meet you at the DMV.
You wanted a ride? I'm not a taxi driver, man.
I'm in the middle of a lunch rush! Ayy! Ayy.
Gringos.
So are we parallel parked? Mm-hmm.
This driver's test is graded On a scale of one to a hundred.
And considering the type of driving you just did, What grade would you give yourself? Hundred.
I get that one a lot.
Ohh, this is embarrassing.
Next! - Hi! Cool your jets, blondie.
I'm a real stickler.
You look familiar.
"Yose-Mite".
It's Yosemite.
Oh, like the national park! You know, I was named after a national park.
Oh, no, wait.
Sorry.
I wasn't named after a national park.
I was named after my grandmother.
Oh, no, wait, my grandmother's name is Betty, not Lola.
Wait, there's a national park named Betty? Can you just take a right? - A right?! Yose-Mite, I just got a perfect score on my written test.
I think I can do a little more than take a right.
Huh?! Did I pass? Hello?! Yeah, I passed.
Oh, now I know why you look familiar.
You're Bugs' neighbor! He told me so much about you.
He's not a fan.
I can't believe they named a national park after that guy.
I'm not going to kill you.
You get your license? I failed.
Twice! - So you'll take the test again next week.
- No way.
I'm done driving.
The only people who deserve a driver's license Are responsible, law-abiding citizens Who know the rules of the road.
Oww! Licensed driver, comin' through! Whoo! Out of my way! Licensed driver, 100%! - Well, there's an exception to every rule.
I've got my driver's license! Whoo-hoo! - Maybe two exceptions.
- Look, bun bun! I'm an organ donor.
Are you an organ donor? You want to give each other our organs? Ehh - Well, we can decide later.
Are you ready to go? Be my first passenger as a licensed driver! - Thanks, but I have to drive Porky home.
He didn't pass.
- Oh, stay strong.
You'll get through this.
I know, I've been there.
But I'm not there anymore.
Whoo-hoo! Driver's license! - How do you get out of this place? Here we go! Bugs! what did I do?! - You can't cross two double yellow lines.
Ohh! I just read that! Hello again.
Driver's license.
Sure thing.
Leave your wallet at home.
I left my wallet at home.
Ehh, I'm just going to walk.
Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep! - One ticket.
I'm a student.
Sir, please.
Goo goo, ga ga.
I'm a baby and I want to see a movie for free.
Get your hands off me! I'm a licensed driver! Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?! I'm a licensed driver! I have a license!
We gonna be late for the movie.
What are you wearing? I don't know about you, But I'm getting a student discount.
You're driving? You always drive.
Let me drive.
I'm not going in that thing.
- It's not a "thing", it's a parade float.
- It'll take us 18 hours to find a parking spot.
I'm driving.
- You think you get to make all the decisions? What are you, the man in the relationship? We're not in a relationship.
- Well, guess what? I'm a man, too.
And today, this man is going to drive you to the movies And buy your ticket.
So you can just Leave your wallet and keys here, Because this man is wearing the pants today.
Oops, almost forgot my purse.
Come on, you big lug! ********* - You're really going to buy my movie ticket? Of course! Here, put these on.
Is this a diaper?! Babies get in free.
Tch.
Aaah! Daffy! That was a stop sign.
Relax.
I have a way with cops.
Oh, hello, officer jerk face! I didn't recognize you away from the donut shop.
I guess you can't catch real criminals, So instead you just harass innocent citizens.
What a waste of my tax dollars! - Can I see your driver's license? My what? - Just give him your driver's license.
What's a driver's license? - You don't have a driver's license?! - Sir, you're not allowed to operate a vehicle without a driver's license.
Please step out of the car, I'm going to have to have it towed.
Towed?! But I'm just an innocent schoolgirl And this is my baby brother.
Put on the diaper! You can get your vehicle back When you get a driver's license.
You're going to scratch it! Aaah! What a man.
Hey, Lola.
- Hey, Bugs! What you doin'? - Standing on the side of the road.
Fun.
Oh, my gosh.
You're never going to believe this.
There is a guy standing on the side of the road Who looks just like you.
I'm about to hit him.
- You look just like my boyfriend! You poor thing.
I can't believe Daffy was driving without a driver's license.
That is so irresponsible.
Lola! That was a red light.
- Ooh, I can't go to jail! I'm too pretty! I won't last a day! Oh, I'll--I'll lift weights.
I'll get really muscular.
my voice will get really deep.
I'll run the place.
Hi, officer.
- Can I see your driver's license? - absolutely.
Just one second.
Hold on.
Let me see here.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, no, wait.
That's my credit card.
Here we go.
Oh, nope.
That's a recipe for salmon balls.
They're really good.
Here it is.
Oh, no, that's my frozen yogurt frequent muncher card.
Two more and I get a free waffle cone, ooh.
Oh, here it is.
It was hiding.
Oh, no, wait, that's a picture of Bugs.
Isn't he cute? Here it is.
Wait, that's a basketball card.
Manu ginóbii.
I love manu ginóbii.
Oh, here it is.
Oops, fortune cookie fortune.
"you will receive an unexpected letter from a friend".
How does the cookie know that? That's crazy.
I'm sorry, what did you want? Your driver's license.
- Oh, yeah, I don't have one of those.
This is stupid.
Sorry, I've just got to talk to my wife real quick.
Personal matter.
Daffy Duck.
Give me a driver's license.
Well, you need to take a test.
- A test?! What is this, communist russia?! Next you're going to tell me I need to take a test to breathe! Or to practice law?! Finished.
- You can take the test right over there.
I thought that was the test.
- That was the application to take the test.
- What?! Those questions were impossible.
Address, date of birth.
Who has that stuff memorized? I didn't know what to put for gender.
Here's a study guide.
I don't need your propaganda! Well, maybe I'll just skim it.
Thank goodness you were here.
That was a really hard test.
- That's the application.
You take the test over there.
Would you like a study guide? Yeah, I think I'm good.
She'll take the study guide.
- What is the speed limit in a residential area? When are roads the most slippery? Who is allowed to park in a handicapped spot? This is even harder than the application! No talking.
Ronald Regan was right.
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Ok, interesting.
Ok, makes sense.
Oh, that's a good rule.
Yep, got it.
Ok, I'm ready to take the test.
- You, uh, read that awfully fast.
You sure? Uh, does a red light mean go? Failed?! How did I fail? - Well, you marked "c" for every answer.
Do you know who I am? I'm Daffy Duck! D.
Duck! What do you think the "D" in DMV stands for? It stands for "Department".
Well, that's my middle name.
Daffy Department Duck.
- Sir, you can take the test again.
You get two chances.
- Good to see my name still carries a little weight around here.
Lola? What are you doing here? - Oh, I don't have a driver's license.
Hmpphh, irresponsible.
- You can't cross two double yellow lines? Huh.
I didn't know that.
hello? - Are you allowed to drive in a bike lane? - Lola, you can't call me, you're taking a test.
Just yes or no! I'm not helping you cheat.
I said I'm not helping you cheat! - Are you allowed to park in a handicapped space? Daffy? Yes or no! It's a simple hard question.
- No! Of course you're not allowed to park in a handicapped space! What is this, communist russia? - hello? - Hey, pork.
- Oh, hi, Bugs.
- What are you doing? - Oh, uh, just-- picking up my dry cleaning.
- Would you like fries with that? - why would I want fries with my dry cleaning? Yes, jumbo fries.
- Could you give me a ride? I'm stuck at the DMV.
Sure.
Just one thing-- You have your driver's license, right? - Of course I do.
- Great.
- Are you going to want any ketchup with your fries? hello? Where are you? - Oh, sorry.
They messed up my order.
Uh, I mean the dry cleaning.
Oh, there you are.
What are you doing at the DMV? Driver's license.
What'd I do? I've never been pulled over for anything! I follow the rules of the road.
Safety first.
- You can't talk on a cell phone while driving Without a hand's-free device.
- Since when? - July first.
Ahh! I voted for that.
- Also, I'm going to need you to step out of the vehicle.
- Why? - Your license is expired.
Aaah! That one.
Oh, that's an easy one.
Who wouldn't know that one? AndDone.
Ooh! Uh, Daffy? - Oh, hey, Porky.
What are you doing here? My driver's license expired.
So irresponsible.
Hello again.
I think you'll really enjoy grading this.
- You passed.
You--you got a perfect score.
- That's because I'm passionate about the material.
Now give me my license.
- That was the written test.
You still need to pass the driver's test.
Driver's test?! How am I going to cheat on a driver's test? I'm sorry, you failed.
What?! That's impossible.
I read the rules of the road before bed.
- You get to take it one more time.
Maybe this time, don't answer "b" for every question.
Bueno.
This is speedy.
Hey, speedy, it's Bugs.
Let me ask you something.
Do you have a valid driver's license? Next! I didn't know you worked here.
Eh, double dip recession.
Gotta get them multiple revenue screams.
- You know, we could probably make this a lot easier On both of us if you just wanted to pass me right now, You know, seeing that we're neighbors and all.
- Son, you're barking up the wrong tree.
I take my job very seriously.
And I gotta warn ya-- I'm a real stickler.
If you make one, just one, Itsy bitsy mistake, You're going to fail.
Ooh.
Ahh.
You don't happen to have a phone book I could sit on, do you? That's right, that's right.
These are all right.
I have to pass.
- Lola?! - Oh, hi, Porky.
What are you doing here? my driver's license expired.
Mm-mmm.
You and Daffy.
So irresponsible.
Hi, sorry that took so long.
I'm a little nervous.
I'm not a really good test taker.
I'm more of a test giver.
Or a test watcher.
Or a taste tester.
You passed.
Perfect score.
- Oh, my gosh, I did?! I'm a really good test taker.
You failed again.
What?! What's happening? Let me take another one.
- I'm sorry, sir.
You only get two chances.
Did I at least come close? - Turn left at the next intersection.
How'd that go? Great.
- How am I supposed to get in that? - Get in it? All you asked was if I had a valid driver's license And to meet you at the DMV.
You wanted a ride? I'm not a taxi driver, man.
I'm in the middle of a lunch rush! Ayy! Ayy.
Gringos.
So are we parallel parked? Mm-hmm.
This driver's test is graded On a scale of one to a hundred.
And considering the type of driving you just did, What grade would you give yourself? Hundred.
I get that one a lot.
Ohh, this is embarrassing.
Next! - Hi! Cool your jets, blondie.
I'm a real stickler.
You look familiar.
"Yose-Mite".
It's Yosemite.
Oh, like the national park! You know, I was named after a national park.
Oh, no, wait.
Sorry.
I wasn't named after a national park.
I was named after my grandmother.
Oh, no, wait, my grandmother's name is Betty, not Lola.
Wait, there's a national park named Betty? Can you just take a right? - A right?! Yose-Mite, I just got a perfect score on my written test.
I think I can do a little more than take a right.
Huh?! Did I pass? Hello?! Yeah, I passed.
Oh, now I know why you look familiar.
You're Bugs' neighbor! He told me so much about you.
He's not a fan.
I can't believe they named a national park after that guy.
I'm not going to kill you.
You get your license? I failed.
Twice! - So you'll take the test again next week.
- No way.
I'm done driving.
The only people who deserve a driver's license Are responsible, law-abiding citizens Who know the rules of the road.
Oww! Licensed driver, comin' through! Whoo! Out of my way! Licensed driver, 100%! - Well, there's an exception to every rule.
I've got my driver's license! Whoo-hoo! - Maybe two exceptions.
- Look, bun bun! I'm an organ donor.
Are you an organ donor? You want to give each other our organs? Ehh - Well, we can decide later.
Are you ready to go? Be my first passenger as a licensed driver! - Thanks, but I have to drive Porky home.
He didn't pass.
- Oh, stay strong.
You'll get through this.
I know, I've been there.
But I'm not there anymore.
Whoo-hoo! Driver's license! - How do you get out of this place? Here we go! Bugs! what did I do?! - You can't cross two double yellow lines.
Ohh! I just read that! Hello again.
Driver's license.
Sure thing.
Leave your wallet at home.
I left my wallet at home.
Ehh, I'm just going to walk.
Beep beep! Beep beep! Beep beep! - One ticket.
I'm a student.
Sir, please.
Goo goo, ga ga.
I'm a baby and I want to see a movie for free.
Get your hands off me! I'm a licensed driver! Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?! I'm a licensed driver! I have a license!