Total Drama Island (2007) s01e18 Episode Script

1
CHRIS: LAST TIME ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
IN A CHALLENGE OF HIDE-AND-SEEK,
CAMPERS HAD TO AVOID CAPTURE
BY CHEF "IT" OR JOIN HIS GUERILLA TACTICS
TO TAG FELLOW CAMPERS.
SOME HAD WEAK HIDING SPOTS, WHILE OTHERS WON INVINCIBILITY.
MEANWHILE, WITH SOME SUBTLE NUDGING,
THE GUYS CONVINCED OWEN TO STAY LOYAL
TO THEIR ALLIANCE.
EVEN WITHOUT LOVESICK GEOFF'S HELP,
THE GUYS BANISHED BRIDGETTE.
SO IT WAS GEOFF WHO PAID A HEFTY PRICE
FOR STAYING LOYAL TO HIS GIRL.
MAN, THAT STINKS, GEOFF, AND SO DID SHE.
WILL THE GUYS EVER TRUST GEOFF AGAIN?
WILL THE GIRLS FORM AN ALLIANCE?
WILL I BE STUCK HOSTING REALITY TV
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
FIND OUT ON THIS EPISODE OF TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.
CHORUS: DEAR MOM AND DAD, I'M DOING FINE ♪
YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪
YOU ASKED ME WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪
AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪
I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
I WANT TO LIVE CLOSE TO THE SUN ♪
WELL PACK YOUR BAGS CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪
EVERYTHING TO PROVE NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪
I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪
'CAUSE I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
NANA NA'NA NAANA NANA NANA NA NANA NANA NA ♪
I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪
(WHISTLING I WANT TO BE FAMOUS)
(BUZZING)
CAN I SEE THAT FOR A SEC?
NOW MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND CLIP MY TOENAILS.
(GEOFF WAILING)
OOH, SOUNDS LIKE GEOFF'S HAVING A HARD TIME ACCEPTING
BRIDGETTE'S BEEN KICKED OFF, HUH?
YEAH. HE'S SO WEAK.
GEOFF: BABY, COME BACK ♪
ANY KIND OF FOOL CAN SEE ♪
AND S-SOMETHING, SOMETHING.
ABOUT YOU ♪
HEY, BRIDGE ♪
SENDING OUT MUTUAL LOVE TO ♪
WHEREVER IT IS THAT THE BOAT OF LOSERS TAKES YOU ♪
UM, WE BETTER GO CHECK ON HIM.
WAIT. WHAT ABOUT OUR GAME?
CHECK ON HIM?
SINCE WHEN DID HE START HAVING FEELINGS?
SINCE THEY STARTED UP THEIR GUYS' ALLIANCE.
DUNCAN'S NO FOOL.
HE NEEDS GEOFF'S VOTE TO STAY IN IT.
HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY
FORMING A GIRLS' ALLIANCE AGAIN
OR NOT.
ATTABOY, HUG IT OUT.
LOOK, MAN.
VOTING BRIDGETTE OFF WAS JUST A STRATEGIC MOVE.
IF THE GUY ALLIANCE STANDS STRONG, WE CAN WIN THIS.
SO ARE YOU IN?
GEOFF: I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
GOING ON WITHOUT BRIDGE IS LIKE--
(SNIFFS) OH, IS THAT BACON?
AH, CRAP!
DID I MISS BREAKFAST?
I THINK GEOFF'S IN.
(FEEDBACK FROM MICROPHONE)
CHRIS: MORNING, CAMPERS.
YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE AWAITS YOU AT THE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS CENTER.
WELCOME TO THE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS CENTER.
MORE LIKE THE ARTS-AND-CRAP CENTER.
YEAH.
IT USED TO BE AN OUTHOUSE,
BUT NOW IT'S WHERE CHEF PARKS HIS ROAD HOG.
DUNCAN: BEAUT! GEOFF: TOO AWESOME!
CHRIS: WHICH BRINGS US TO YOUR CHALLENGE
BUILDING YOUR OWN WHEELS.
HOT RODS! YES!
AWESOME! GIVE ME FIVE!
WOO-HOO! WOOHOO.
WOO.
YOU'LL FIND ALL THE PARTS YOU NEED IN OUR BIKE DEPOT.
BICYCLES!
LESS AWESOME, BUT STILL GOOD, RIGHT?
ONCE YOU'VE COLLECTED THE BASICS,
TRICK THEM OUT ANY WAY YOU WANT USING PROPS
FROM THE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS CENTER.
(ENGINE STARTS)
BEST DESIGN WINS.
AND TO PROVE I'M A NICE GUY,
I'M EVEN THROWING IN A BIKE MANUAL.
EW! IT'S FURRY!
COOL! MOLD SPORES.
FREAK. WE GET FIRST DIBS.
FINALLY, A CHALLENGE I CAN GET BEHIND.
I USED TO BUILD BIKES BACK HOME WITH MY BROTHERS
ALL THE TIME.
OKAY, SO I USED TO STEAL THEM FROM THE DWEEBS
DOWN THE STREET AND CRASH THEM INTO THE SCHOOL WALL.
THE POINT IS, THIS IS SOMETHING I KNOW.
OH-OH-OH! I'M GONNA MAKE MY DREAM BIKE!
OH, MY GOSH, ME, TOO.
EVERY YEAR AT CHRISTMAS, I ASKED FOR A SUNSET SALLY BIKE
BUT NEVER GOT ONE. REALLY?
SANTA NEVERBROUGHT YOU YOUR CHRISTMAS WISH?
MAN, THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT.
GUYS, THIS ISN'T A CHRISTMAS WISH CONTEST.
IF WE WANT TO VOTE THE CHICKS OUT,
THEN OUR BIKES HAVE TO KICK BUTT.
CAPICHE?
RIGHT. WAILING CHOPPERS.
KICK BUTT. YES!
LET'S DO IT!
GUYS' ALLIANCE.
WHOO-HOO!
(BIRD WARBLING)
THE GUYS THINK THEY'RE SO STEALTH,
BUILDING THEIR LITTLE ALLIANCES.
IT'S KIND OF CUTE, REALLY.
BUT WHY WORK ON YOUR OWN BIKE
WHEN YOU CAN GET SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR YOU.
COULD I JUST BORROW HER FOR A SEC?
SEE THAT MOTOR THINGY WITH ALL THE FANCY EXHAUSTS?
DISMANTLE IT.
AND MAKE IT FAST, BEFORE CHEF GETS BACK.
BUT WHAT ABOUT MY BIKE?
I WANT TO WIN, TOO.
OF COURSE, YOU DO.
BUT LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
HOW ELSE CAN I SAVE YOUR BUTT UNLESS I WIN?
WE'RE BFFs, REMEMBER?
WOULD I STEER YOU WRONG?
OKAY, MAYBE I'M "NAVEY," BUT HEATHER'S ALWAYS BEEN
TRUSTWORTHY TO ME BEFORE THAT I KNOW OF.
OH, UNH-UNH.
WE'RE GOING IN FIRST.
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT YOUR TURN.
OR YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF THE EFFORT AND NOT EVEN BOTHER.
-(SQUAWKS) -HEATHER: OH-AAH!
GOT TO LOVE KARMA.
(GRUNTS)
(OWEN GRUNTS)
(OWEN FARTS)
(WHISTLING)
LESHAWNA: WHERE DOES THIS GO?
THAT'S THE PEDAL.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER RIDDEN A BIKE BEFORE?
OF COURSE, I'VE RIDDEN A BIKE BEFORE!
I'VE JUST NEVER BUILT ONE FROM SCRATCH.
THAT'S ALL.
THERE'S TOO MANY PIECES.
WELL, YOU BETTER START READING THE MANUAL,
BECAUSE THE GUYS HAVE AN ALLIANCE GOING,
AND IT LOOKS LIKE HEATHER AND LINDSAY
ARE STILL SHARING A BRAIN,
WHICH MEANS IT'S US AGAINST THEM.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
HOW HARD CAN IT BE?
IZZY: WOO-HOO! HEY, LESHAWNA!
COME WITH ME, OKAY? I'VE ALREADY BUILT MY BIKE.
HOW DID YOU DO THAT SO FAST?
OH, MY BROTHER WAS A MECHANIC BEFORE HE GOT RUN OVER
AND DEVELOPED A FEAR OF MOTOR VEHICLES.
COME ON! LET'S TAKE IT FOR A TEST-DRIVE!
-WHOO-HOO! -ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE ON.
THAT GIRL MIGHT BE CRAZY,
BUT I WASN'T ABOUT TO PASS UP
AN OPPORTUNITY TO WIN THIS RACE.
HER BIKE LOOKED FINE.
SWEET. YOUR EXTRA WEIGHT WILL TOTALLY HELP OUT WITH OUR SPEED.
UH, I'M GONNA TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT.
OKAY.
AAH! AAH!
LINDSAY: HEY, LOOK.
IT'S AN UGLY DOLL WITH PRETTY HAIR, JUST LIKE YOU.
I'M GONNA USE HER FOR MY BIKE.
I THINK SOMETIMES I SAY THE WRONG THING.
ONCE I TOLD MY MATH TEACHER THAT HIS NEW HAIRPIECE LOOKED
LIKE MY DOG'S BUTT,
BUT HE TOTALLY TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY.
MY DOG HAS THE CUTEST, CURLY, LITTLE BUTT.
IT WAS A COMPLIMENT.
(LAUGHS) CUTE.
JUST DON'T FORGET TO BUILD MY BIKE FIRST,
SO I CAN PROTECT YOU FROM THE VOTE.
THIS OTHER TIME, I GOT TRAPPED IN A THREE-WAY CALLING ATTACK,
AND I TOLD ONE FRIEND THAT THE OTHER ONE
WAS CHEATING ON HER BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING.
ANYWAY, SHE TOTALLY GOT DUMPED THAT DAY.
IT WAS SO RANDOM.
I WONDER IF IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE CALL.
HEY, DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER YOUR FIRST BIKE RIDE?
OH, YEAH.
I WIPED OUT SO BAD, I POPPED MY COLLARBONE.
YOU COULD SEE IT STICKING RIGHT OUT OF MY SHOULDER.
IT WAS WICKED.
I FLEW SO FAR OVER MY HANDLEBARS
THAT I SKID FOR A MILE.
(LAUGHS) SKIN WAS HANGING OFF ME IN CHUNKS.
OWEN: (LAUGHS) OH, THAT'S NOTHING.
I POPPED MY ARM RIGHT OUT OF MY SOCKET.
IT TOOK THREE DOCTORS TO HOLD ME DOWN
WHILE THEY SLINGSHOT IT BACK INTO PLACE.
(ALL SIGH)
ALL: GOOD TIMES.
(FEEDBACK FROM MICROPHONE)
CHRIS: CAMPERS, TIME TO JUDGE YOUR BIKES.
PUT YOUR PEDAL TO THE METAL
AND MEET ME AT THE CRAFT CENTER.
WELL, CAMPERS, WE GAVE YOU THE PARTS.
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAME UP WITH.
EXCELLENT AERODYNAMICS, HEATHER.
IT ONLY WEIGHS 2 OUNCES.
GWEN: LIKE HER BRAIN.
SPOOKY YET PRACTICAL.
WELL DONE.
WICKED "MAD MAX" MOBILE, DUDE!
GO AHEAD. RING HER BELL.
THE REAL BIKE HAS SOUND EFFECTS LIKE THIS.
(NEIGHING)
DUDE? SERIOUSLY?
THIS IS LAME.
NOW THIS IS A HOT ROD.
NI-ICE!
I CALL HERBRIDGETTE.
BRIDGETTE!
BRIDGETTE, I'M SORRY.
I SHOULD HAVE MADE THEM VOTE SOMEONE ELSE OFF,
EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE STINKING.
YOU WERE ALSO KIND OF A THREA
BECAUSE YOU'RE NICE AND TOTALLY ATHLETIC
AND HOT AND STUFF.
FORGIVE ME, BRIDGETTE!
OWEN, NICE JOB.
HEY, WHERE'S IZZY AND LESHAWNA?
LESHAWNA: AAH!
IZZY: YAH!
OH, WELL, THEIR LOSS, 'CAUSE THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD.
WE'RE GONNA RACE THESE BABIESHARD.
HA! AWESOME, BECAUSE MY BIKE IS BUILT FOR SPEED.
RIGHT, LINDSAY?
TOTALLY!
YEAH, UNFORTUNATELY, YOU WON'T BE RIDING IT, HEATHER.
YOU'LL BE SWITCHING BIKES.
YEAH, CRUEL TWIST, HUH?
ALL RIGHTY, THEN.
SEE YOU AT THE BEACH.
(OWL HOOTS)
OKAY, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
EVERYONE PICKS A NAME OUT OF THE HELME
TO SEE WHOSE BIKE YOU'RE RIDING.
IF YOUR BIKE MAKES IT ACROSS THE FINISH LINE,
THEN YOU GET TO RIDE I
IN THE FINAL ROUND FOR INVINCIBILITY.
HEY, LOOKY! I GOT YOUR BIKE.
EXCELLENT.
IF YOU CROSS THE FINISH LINE ON MY BIKE,
THEN I GET TO RIDE FOR INVINCIBILITY.
SO IF IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE LOSING,
JUST PRESS THE RED BUTTON.
NOW BEFORE WE START,
HAS ANYONE SEEN LESHAWNA OR IZZY?
LESHAWNA: AAH!
CHRIS: OKAY, RACERS.
ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET
PARAMEDICS ON STANDBY AND DRAG!
HEY, WHERE'S THE PEDALS?
(GRUNTS)
OW!
OKAY, THIS IS MESSED UP, BUT YEE-HA,
THIS IS ONE BOOMING RIDE!
I KNOW, RIGHT? GEOFF: WAILING RIDE, HUH?
I USED TOP-OF-THE-LINE BOLTS.
OKAY, SO I FORGOT THE BOLTS.
AAH!
AAH!
(GROANS)
GOT TO WEAR JOCK.
IZZY: AAH!
OWEN: YAH!
YES!
WE HAVE THREE AWESOME WIPEOUTS BY HEATHER, GEOFF, AND D.J.
FOUR INVINCIBILITY-RACE WINNERS--
OWEN'S FUN MACHINE, HEATHER'S SPEED MACHINE,
LINDSAY'S SUNSET SALLY, AND DUNCAN'S LETHAL WEAPON.
OWEN: YAH!
HOW DO I STOP THIS THING?
SLAM THE HOOD ORNAMENT!
OWEN: OKAY.
WHAA!
AAH!
AWESOME FINISH, OWEN.
IT'S TIME TO HEAD OVER TO THE TDI MOTORCROSS.
IS THIS THE PART WHERE YOU HELP SAVE MY BUT
FROM BEING VOTED OFF?
NOT YET.
WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE WE WIN THIS PART OF THE CHALLENGE, TOO.
SO GET YOUR "A" GAME ON.
AAH! AAH!
WOW. SWEET WHEELS.
I KNOW, RIGHT?
AND P.S., I LOVE YOURS.
OH, ME, TOO.
IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO RIDE.
DUDE, I'VE GOT ONE WORD FOR YOU.
FOCUS.
OR I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT INTO NEXT WEEK.
FOCUS, RIGHT.
NEGATORY ON THE FUN.
DONE!
CAMPERS, WELCOME TO THE
(ECHOING) MOTOMOTOCROSSCROSS
CHALLENGECHALLENGE!
USING YOUR OWN BIKES, YOU'LL RACE THE COURSE,
AVOIDING HIDDEN PITFALLS.
CUE THE DEATHTRAPS.
THERE'S DODGING THE LAND MINES,
MANEUVERING THROUGH THE OIL SLICK,
AND, FINALLY, JUMPING THE PIRANHAS.
OH, AND ONE MORE THING-- FIRST ONE TO CROSS WINS
INVINCIBILITY.
LAST ONE TO CROSS GETS VOTED OFF THE ISLAND.
NO BONFIRE, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT A MARSHMALLOW.
OKAY, SO HERE'S OUR STRATEGY.
WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER SO THAT ONE OF US WINS THE RACE.
SO YOU GO FIRST AND CLEAR A PATH THROUGH THE MINES.
UH-HUH.
THEN GO THROUGH THE OIL SLICK,
SO I CAN SEE HOW TO GET THROUGH IT.
OKAY.
IF YOU MAKE IT THROUGH THOSE TWO PARTS,
THEN THE THIRD PART IS EASY.
JUST KEEP THE PIRANHAS BUSY WHILE I SNEAK THROUGH.
WAIT. THEN YOU'LL WIN, NOT ME.
EXACTLY.
I WAS THINKING IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN
IF I WON A CHALLENGE FOR MYSELF FOR ONCE.
YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA IN THEORY,
BUT THEN WHO WOULD COME UP WITH ALL THE NEW STRATEGIES
TO GET US THROUGH TO THE NEXT WEEK?
RR-RIGHT.
-OKAY! -DON'T WORRY.
IF THE PIRANHAS DON'T EAT YOU,
THEN YOU'LL DEFINITELY BE SECOND,
WHICH MEANS OWEN OR DUNCAN GETS VOTED OFF,
AND WE MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER BONFIRE CEREMONY.
HEATHER IS REALLY SMART.
I'M LUCKY TO HAVE HER AS A FRIEND.
I HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING IF SHE'LL COME IN SECOND.
THE ONLY THING THAT'S REALLY IMPORTAN
IS THAT I COME IN FIRST.
INVINCIBILITY IS EVERYTHING.
I CAN ALMOST TASTE THE MARSHMALLOWS.
CAN'T YOU, LINDSAY?
MMM! YES!
RACERS, TAKE YOUR POSITIONS AND GO!
OWEN: AAH!
(BELL RINGS)
WHOO!
AAH!
WHOO!
(ENGINE REVVING)
AND WE HAVE OUR WINNER.
HEATHER!
(ALL GROAN)
YAY! YOU WON.
WE DID IT. WE'RE SAFE.
CHRIS: THAT'S NOT EXACTLY TRUE.
HEATHER IS SAFE BECAUSE HER BIKE CROSSED THE LINE FIRST,
BUT SINCE DUNCAN AND OWEN WIPED OU
AND DIDN'T COMPLETE THE RACE,
THEY TECHNICALLY DIDN'T CROSS THE LINE AT ALL,
WHICH MAKES YOU THE LAST ONE TO CROSS THE LINE,
WHICH MEANS IT'S "DOCK OF SHAME" TIME, BABY.
OKAY, I'M SO CONFUSED.
IT MEANS I CAN'T SAVE YOU
UNLESS I GIVE YOU MY INVINCIBILITY.
BUT I CAN'T DO THAT-- TOO RISKY.
YOU UNDERSTAND.
LINDSAY: BUT I WON.
I EVEN BUILT YOUR BIKE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.
YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE WITH YOUR DIGNITY INTACT.
IT WILL MAKE YOU SEEM MUCH MORE CUTER
IN THE INSTANT REPLAYS.
BUT WE WERE GOING TO THE FINAL THREE TOGETHER.
GUESS WE'RE NOT.
AREN'T YOU EVEN SAD?
WE'RE BFFs.
YEAH, FOR THE CONTEST.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS
FOR LIFE OR ANYTHING.
(GASPS) I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT.
BUT WE PINKIE-SWORE.
YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN HELPING YOU ALL THIS TIME,
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN LIKE ME?
TRUTH?
NOT REALLY, NO.
WHAT? WE'RE NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.
WE'RE HERE TO BECOME CELEBRITIES, REMEMBER?
OOH, THAT'S COLD, BRAH.
OH, LIKE YOU'RE SUCH A TEAM PLAYER.
ALL YOU DO IS GO AROUND SCARING THE CRAP
OUT OF EVERYONE.
AT LEAST I'M STRAIGHT WITH PEOPLE.
WHATEVER. I HAVE INVINCIBILITY.
NO ONE CAN TOUCH ME.
THIS WEEK. YOU REALLY ARE MEAN!
AND ALL THAT BAD STUFF PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU IS TRUE,
LIKE HOW YOU'RE A TWO-FACED, BACKSTABBING, LYING, LITTLE,
(BLEEP)
I ALWAYS TOLD THEM THEY WERE WRONG.
I STOOD UP FOR YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE BFFs,
BUT THEY'RE RIGHT.
YOU REALLY ARE A TWO-FACED, BACKSTABBING, LYING, LITTLE,
(BLEEP)
AND GUESS WHAT?
I DON'T WANT TO BE BFFs ANYMORE.
I'D RATHER SPEND THE DAY STARING AT OWEN'S BUT
THAN SHOPPING WITH YOU.
AND P.S., YOUR SHOES ARE TACKY.
YEAH! YOU TELL HER!
GO JUMP IN THE PIRANHA POOL.
LESHAWNA: OH, GET ME OFF OF THIS THING.
AAH!
I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.
OH, WAIT! YES, I DO!
HEATHER IS A TOTAL (BLEEP).
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT, GRETA.
I LOVE YOU, LEQUISHA.
TAKE CARE, GIRLFRIEND.
IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, WE WOULD HAVE KEPT YOU ON.
REALLY? THANKS.
KICK HEATHER'S BUTT FOR ME.
MY PLEASURE.
BYE, GUYS. SEE YOU AT THE FINALE!
AW, I THINK I'M GONNA MISS YOU THE MOST.
(WAILING)
ME, TOO! BYE!
GOOD LUCK, HEATHER.
I HOPE YOU GET EVERYTHING YOUR KARMA OWES YOU.