Big Nate (2022) s01e19 Episode Script

1
[eerie music]
[distant howling]
[thunderclap]
- [gasps]
[glass shatters]
- [barking]
[snarling]
[howling]
- [screaming]
[panting]
- [snarling]
- [gasps]
[screams]
- [growls]
- Welcome to the Nate Zone's
maiden voyage.
Since Ellen's off glamping
with her friends in Canada
- [chattering]
[screams]
- [growls]
- And my dad's headed to
something called
"Insurance Con"
[snoring]
- Hear ye, hear ye.
[snoring]
- [gasps]
- Nate, I'm leaving.
- I've got the place
all to myself.
[cool guitar riff]
[upbeat music]
- Don't want to go
to school today ♪
The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪
But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪
Detention again ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪
- Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪
Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪
- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
- You're sure you're
OK being alone?
- Yes. Ugh, I'm not
a baby anymore, Dad.
- It feels like just yesterday
I was spoon-feeding you
mashed peas.
- Ugh, because it
was just yesterday.
[whimsical music]
- Choo-choo.
Who wants a num-num-num?
Before I go, I have one last
grown-up surprise for you.
- Please, let it be
a cell phone.
- Ah.
[electrical whine]
- Wha
- It's a ham radio, son!
With this bad boy,
you can reach me
and random people from Europe
whenever you want.
- Where's the screen?
- [laughs] Oh, silly.
There is no screen.
This is old school.
Just make sure you pull up
the antenna here.
- I wonder how far I could
stick this thing up my nose.
- [chuckles]
You're kidding, right?
- Hmm.
[objects clatter]
- Anyhoo, be sure to stay on
channel two.
The other channels
can get weird.
- Yeah, yeah, OK. Thanks, Dad.
I'll be sure to
stay on channel two.
- Thanks
- [groans] Thanks, Papa Bear.
- [gasps]
- OK, time to go.
- OK. B bye, son!
[door slams]
Ow!
[crash]
- [chuckles]
Time to party, Nate style.
- Slam, da duh duh ♪
[yelling]
[groans]
- Slam, da duh duh,
da duh duh ♪
- Hmm.
[chuckles]
Oh, yeah.
[loud drumming]
- Now everybody
wanna sound grimy ♪
I'ma show ya how, come on,
all in together now ♪
- [sighs]
- So stop trying to be
as loud as me ♪
- [sighs]
I could definitely
get used to this.
Ha-ha!
Uh, this is pretty
boring actually.
Let's go play video games!
[dramatic music]
[tires screeching]
[rattling, wind blowing]
Hmm.
[clicking]
Huh?
[flames whooshing]
Whew, OK.
It was just the heater.
Ah, alone time.
You know, Dad should
really leave more often.
[static crackling]
[tires squealing]
- Hey, hey. Look at that.
First one here.
It's like I always say
A great patio furniture
insurance salesman
is always punctual.
[doors rattle]
Huh?
Well, that's weird.
I must be really early.
Is it daylight savings?
Huh?
Oh, pickled herring!
It's next week?
Well, Nate,
Papa Bear is coming home early.
[thunderclap] Uh-oh.
[static]
[wolves snarling]
- Zombie wolves.
Safe.
At least, I thought I was.
[wolves howling]
Guess I was wrong, again.
[cool rock music]
♪
- You're watching
"The Terror Zone."
[crunching]
- 10-4-9er.
- Uh, did you guys hear that?
- Breaker, breaker.
This is [inaudible].
- Dad? Is that you?
- Yeah, listen.
We got a strange report
[static]
- Hey, uh, Dad, if you're
playing a trick on me,
it's not very funny, OK?
Dad?
[thunderclap]
[electricity crackles]
Oh!
- Dale, we got
zombie wolves!
Zombie wolves!
- Did he just say
"zombie wolf"?
[thunderclap]
[screaming]
[howls]
OK, uh, no big deal.
I'm indoors, and zombie wolves
probably hate the indoors.
Uh, that guy probably didn't
even say "zombie wolves."
I mean,
zombie wolves aren't even real.
He probably said something more
like, uh, "zombie shelves."
Yeah, yeah, which sounds
totally like a kind of a shelf.
I'm going to go look up
kinds of shelves.
[chuckles]
- Attention, citizens.
The town is being raided
by zombie wolves.
Repeat. Zombie wolves.
Not zombie shelves,
the popular Norwegian
bathroom storage unit. No.
We're referring to
vicious, hungry, bloodthirsty
zombie wolves.
Take cover!
- [screams]
[panting]
[panting]
I must protect this house.
Step one, turn bedroom into
impenetrable pillow fortress.
[dramatic]
Step two, fill pillow fort
with year-long supply of snacks.
[fly buzzes]
Jar of olives,
half a bag of croutons,
and some mustard.
Way to prepare for the
zombie wolf apocalypse, Dad.
Step three, forage for supplies.
Bear trap?
Ha. Nice, Dad.
Large barrel filled
with maple syrup?
Ugh.
Gosh, you're such a freak, Dad.
Step four, build a trap.
♪
[thunderclap]
[chuckles]
Awesome.
Step five,
lock down the premises.
[chuckles]
♪
If a zombie wolf even thinks
about eating me,
they're gonna feel my wrath.
[creak]
[gasps]
[loud howl]
[wood creaking]
[water bubbling]
[whimpering]
[loud howling]
[gasps]
[whimpering]
Aah!
[static hisses]
[chuckles nervously]
This is getting ridiculous.
Maybe this whole thing
is all in my head.
[thunderclap]
Aah!
[whimpers]
OK, OK.
Uh, stay calm.
It's just Mother Nature
snoring during her nap.
[thunderclap]
Aah!
[touch-tone beeps]
[line ringing]
Come on, Dad.
Answer.
[phone ringing]
Huh?
He left his cell phone?
[loud thunderclaps]
[whimpering]
I'm not scared.
You're scared.
[dramatic music]
- Wow, sure got a blurry night
on the road here.
Wait. Your driving glasses,
you big goof.
[beeping]
Gosh dandruff, I'm out of gas.
[dramatic music]
♪
[tires squeal]
[electricity crackles]
[easy-listening music playing]
[stomach growling]
Oh, be quiet, you.
There isn't time
for a food break.
Nate is probably
worried sick right now.
- [chuckles]
Nate doesn't need you.
I need you.
Come on, give me food.
Give me food.
- He does so need me.
I told him I'd be home by 9:00.
And it's OK. It's only 8:00.
So so maybe
he's not that worried.
- Oh, I'm so hungry,
I could eat haggis.
- Well, I'm sorry
I didn't bring a snack.
I was in a hurry.
What do you want me
to do about it?
- Look.
Gas station sushi, Martin.
You never get
this kind of treat.
[cash register rings]
- Ah, nothing like gas station
sushi on clearance.
[grunts]
Mm.
I think I'll go with
spicy tuna roll.
[crunch]
Oh. Owie!
Oh.
[rapid breathing]
[stomach growls]
Uh
[groaning]
[engine starting]
[tires squeal]
[thunderclap]
- OK, OK.
This is all in your mind, Nate.
It's all in your mind,
all just your imagination.
You don't need your dad.
Heh, you're a grown-up.
- Wolves have raided a yellow
school bus full of kids.
Wolves now driving bus.
- Wolves driving buses?
They're adapting to
mass transportation!
OK, OK. Um, heh.
Well, uh, maybe this
isn't really happening.
Maybe I just, uh, heh
I I just got the wrong channel.
Yeah, yeah, that's it.
He said three, right?
- My anaconda don't ♪
- [operatic vocalizing]
- In your head ♪
- [groans]
Some help this stupid thing is.
[clanking]
Ah, finally.
[suspenseful music]
♪
See, Dad?
I didn't need you.
[chuckles]
I'm fine.
I am totally, completely
[loud crashing]
Aah!
[whimpers]
- [howling]
- Zombie wolves!
[screams]
[touch-tone beeping rapidly]
Come on, Dee Dee.
Pick up, pick up, pick up!
- [growling]
- [screaming]
- Please, Teddy.
Please, answer me.
- [screaming]
- You know,
I would call Francis now,
but let's be honest.
With his delicious big brain,
he's long gone.
- [barks]
- Oh! It's in the house.
- [howl]
- [grunts]
[birds chirping]
Imagination, cool it!
I'm having a crisis!
[bird squawks]
Ah!
[panting]
[gasps]
Shh.
Hmm?
[soft snarling]
[whimpering]
[snarling]
- [screaming]
[thunderclap, howling]
[tires squealing]
Relax, Martin.
You're having
an allergic reaction.
Just pull over and
[gibberish]
[jittery muttering]
[yelling]
[horn honks]
[groans softly]
[engine sputtering]
[grunting]
[thunderclap]
[grunts]
[ham radio crackling]
[owl hoots]
[channels tuning]
- Dad! Do you read me?
- [muffled] Nate?
- Dad, is that you?
- [muffled]
Nate, Nate! Hey, it's me, Dad.
[grunts]
[gasps]
[wind blowing]
[thunderclap]
- Dad? Do you read me?
Dad! [whimpers]
This is what I asked for, right?
To be alone, all by myself.
[tense music]
♪
I am all alone in the dark ♪
But I'm not even scared ♪
Creepy, scary things
all around ♪
But trust me, I'm prepared ♪
I am all alone
and in the dark ♪
And I'm not even sad ♪
Ghosts, zombies,
wolves all around ♪
And I definitely
don't need my dad ♪
Just gotta get through
the night ♪
Just need to survive ♪
Just gotta get through
the night ♪
I've got this in the bag ♪
Just gotta get through
the night ♪
Just need to survive ♪
Just gotta get through
the night ♪
I've got this in the bag ♪
Right?
- [panting]
Whoa.
[breathing heavily]
My son is all alone
in the dark ♪
I think he really needs me ♪
[distant howl]
Trees, crows,
cannibal caterpillars ♪
These woods
are really creepy ♪
[distant crash]
Oh, my God. What was that?
[loud howl]
both: Just gotta
get through the night ♪
Just need to survive ♪
Just gotta get through
the night ♪
I've got this in the bag ♪
Just gotta get through
the night ♪
Just need to survive ♪
Just gotta get through
the night ♪
I've got this in the bag ♪
- [snarling]
- Right?
[screams]
- "Alone in the Dark."
Buy now wherever
physical media is still sold.
- [slobbering]
- [groaning]
What? Uh, what's happening?
Spitsy?
Spitsy!
Oh, boy, am I glad to see you!
You're not gonna believe
the kind of night I'm having.
I totally thought
you were a zombie wolf.
You know they took over
the city, right?
- [barks]
- Oh, man, you must be starving.
When was your last meal, pal?
- [barking]
[sniffs]
- They're called "croutons."
Want me to jazz them up
with some mustard?
- [barking urgently]
What did you say, boy?
Mr. Eustis?
He's in trouble?
- [barks]
[thunderclap]
- Come on, Spits.
Let's go save Mr. Eustis.
[soft dramatic music]
♪
- [barks softly]
[pants]
[distant howl]
- I'm being eaten!
- Don't worry, Spits.
I'll be brave for both of us.
- [panting]
[electricity crackling]
[tense music]
♪
- Mr. Eustis?
[door creaks]
Huh?
Mr. Eustis?
- [screaming]
- Forget that! Run!
[screaming]
[gasping]
[grunting]
[panting]
Sorry, Spits.
We didn't make it in time.
Spitsy?
- [muttering]
- Spitsy!
- [panting]
- Don't worry, Spits!
[breathing heavily]
I'm I'm coming!
I'm coming for you!
[gasping]
[hushed]
Spitsy.
Spitsy, in the house, now!
- [panting]
- [groans]
Come here!
[engine rumbling]
[brakes hiss]
[shouting]
Zombie wolf school bus!
[hushed]
Spitsy! Come here, boy!
- [grunting]
- Look out, Spitsy!
- [groaning]
- [grunting]
- [groaning]
- I'll save you, Spitsy!
[wailing]
[whimpers]
- [groaning]
- [screams]
Go away, zombie wolf!
- [muffled] Zombie wolf?
- Oh, they're walking on
their hind legs now,
which means they're evolving
faster than we realized!
[whimpers]
Look, there's still
leftover croutons.
- [retches] [rodent chitters]
- Well, that was weird.
- [moaning]
- OK, he's inside.
But it's gonna be OK, Spits.
We are prepared for this.
Hey, zombie wolf!
I'm over here!
- [muffled]
Hey, Nate. It's me! Nate?
[yelling]
- Yes!
- [growling]
- This way, zombie wolf!
- [muttering]
[groaning]
[fan whirring]
Huh?
[squelching footsteps]
[groans]
- I'm upstairs, zombie wolf!
Come and get me!
- [muttering]
[loud clank]
[screams]
Whoa!
- [chuckles triumphantly]
- [muttering]
- Take that, you zombie wolf!
Hey, you sound kind of familiar.
- [sniffs]
- [shouting slowly]
Do I know you?
- [muffled]
It's me! I'm your dad!
It's me!
Hey!
[groans]
[creaking and rumbling]
- Uh, what's that noise?
Is that your stomach?
- [muttering]
- [sniffs]
[rodent chittering]
- Oh.
[all scream]
Huh?
- [grunting]
- [grunts]
- [panting]
- [groaning]
- You think he's still alive?
Spitsy, this is no zombie wolf.
It's my dad!
[sobbing]
Oh, no! It can't be true!
Look at what I've done!
No!
- [howls]
- Papa!
Papa, please, come back.
[sobbing]
I should never have been
left alone.
I'm too young to be an adult.
I don't even know
how to use a microwave.
[blows nose loudly]
I always just press
the popcorn button.
What does "time cook" even mean?
Shouldn't it be "cook time"?
[wails]
I need you!
Dad!
- [spits]
- Dad?
- Son? Is that you?
- [echoing]
Hey, Dad. It's me.
It's Nate, your son.
- Did you say
you needed me, son?
- Wh what? No. No!
No, no, no, no, no.
- [barking]
- OK, well, maybe
Maybe I needed you just
Just, like, a little bit.
- Oh, my goodness.
[chuckles]
You needed me!
- And you're not a zombie!
- Uh, weird thing to say.
But no, I I'm not.
And hey, the swelling's down!
[sniffs]
Is that Epsom salt and
rose petal?
- Hey, wait a minute.
If you're not a zombie wolf,
then what was all that stuff
on the radio about an invasion?
- Huh.
I think I know
what this is about.
Before Mr. Eustis
left for a vacation in sunny
Lancaster, Pennsylvania,
I helped him install
a baby monitor
so he could listen to Spitsy.
My guess is our ham radio feeds
crossed wires
with the feed from
the baby monitor.
And since you didn't stay on
channel two like I asked
- Nope.
- Then you, Nate,
got to listen to
whatever TV show
Mr. Eustis liked.
- The town is being invaded
by zombie wolves.
Repeat, zombie wolves!
- Oh, so it was all just
- Yup, your brain was
playing tricks on you.
But with that
inventive mind of yours,
it was bound to happen sometime.
- I thought
the world was ending,
that zombie wolves
had eaten my friends
and that you were a goner.
[chuckles]
That's pretty ridiculous, huh?
- Not at all.
I really did
come close to dying,
more than once!
- Well, hey, Dad,
I'm glad you didn't.
Or worse, transform into
a horrible zombie wolf.
- [chuckles]
Oh, don't ever let
anything happen
to that wild imagination, son.
[dramatic chord]
- [gulps]
- I am all alone in the dark ♪
But I'm not even scared ♪
Creepy, scary things
all around ♪
But trust me, I'm prepared ♪
I am all alone
and in the dark ♪
And I'm not even sad ♪
Ghosts, zombies ♪
Wolves all around ♪
And I definitely
don't need ♪
[upbeat music]