Craig of the Creek (2017) s01e19 Episode Script
Kelsey Quest
Who's gonna help
when the danger overwhelms ♪
And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Kelsey: Kelsey dislodged her
blade with a twist.
The victory felt as hollow
as her sword,
for her foe was just wet dirt,
and even a lowly earthen worm
could take down a pile of mud.
She needed a worthy opponent.
I think she's doin'
that narratin' thing again.
Yeah, but her narrating seems
a lot more dramatic today.
Ooh! Maybe she was friends
with that mud man,
but he betrayed her,
stole her snacks,
burned herfarm down.
I'll go make her
a new one!
And to think, she had
welcomed him into her farm --
Oh, oh, my gosh! You guys!
I think I found somethin'!
All: Whoa!
What are they?
Great ancient wisdom
is what we seek,
so we call upon you,
the Elders of the Creek.
Mark:
Ah, this is hopeless!
Barry:
C'mon, we could take him!
David got his green belt!
I'm going to get
my green belt!
A rainbow belt
wouldn't stop him!
He's too powerful!
Your Elderships,
have we come at a bad time?
No, no.
What can we help you with?
My friends and I discovered
these mysterious relics.
Mayhaps ye may know
what they may be?
Ah, yes, these are
gravity sticks,
juggling instruments that
originated in Chinese circuses,
but which experienced
a true renaissance in the 1990s.
David
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
Knock it off!
Stop doing cool stuff
while I'm angry!
What's wrong,
Your Eldership?
Justiceis dead.
All: No!
Any virtue but Justice!
This plaque used to hold
a near-priceless replica
of Blightblade,
the titular sword
from the Eastern animation
masterpiece
"Esoteric Sword Fighter K."
You probably
haven't seen it.
Why, will you ask,
did I use the past tense
to describe what
this plaque once held?
Because a traitorous thief
named Jerry stole it from us!
Well, what's stoppin' you guys
from takin' it back?
You guys are tall!
We are no match for Jerry.
He could easily destroy
all three of us.
And now that he has the sword,
no one in the creek is safe.
David, we're gonna have to
hang out in your garage again.
Uh, about that
my grandma got rid
of the bean bags.
What?!
She said they
encouraged slouching!
As she watched the Elders
discuss lumbar support,
Kelsey realized something:
This was the challenge
she'd been waiting for
a Jerry!
Kelsey: I will do it.
I will battle this "Jerry"
and retrieve the Elder Sword.
Huzzah!
A knight to rescue us!
We'll find a way to lure
Jerry back to our cavern.
And then the boss battle
begins!
Oohh! Oh, man, Kelsey,
this is so bad butts!
You got a real
deal quest!
It's so brave of you
to stand up for the Elders.
All of creek society would
fall apart without their wisdom.
Kelsey had started
down an epic path,
and at its end,
a formidable foe.
So bold,
he bested the elders.
So mysterious,
his name was only spoken
in frightened whispers.
And so, rippling
with a million muscles,
Kelsey would need to prepare
for what would be
a battle for the ages!
I need to train!
I can't do it alone!
Oh oh oh! Me!
Pick me!
Me! Me me!
-Yes! Please!
Pick us, valiant knight!
If only I knew two eager
young squires to aid me.
Why isn't she pickin' me?
Why isn't she pickin' me?
Well, I suppose you two
will do!
♪♪
Nobody ever won a fight
Being afraid to fall
You gotta break
right through the wall ♪
So get in the ring,
start acting tough ♪
There's no more lookin' back
You gotta push it to the max
Do you see
the warrior inside me? ♪
'Cause I can see
the warrior inside you ♪
Tonight
What a week.
You've really changed.
[ Sighs ]
You are the best squires
a warrior could ask for.
Yeah, my neck's
feelin' pretty buff
from all that nodding
I was doin'.
Thanks to you guys and that
Dumpster fruit we found,
I have grown stronger.
I will handily defeat Jerry.
Yeah, I just hope that
Jerry guy isn't trainin', too.
Wait, what?
Well, because, like, if you're
trainin' to catch up to him,
but he's trainin', too
And, like, he was
stronger to begin with,
then he's probably
way stronger now!
And, like, you'll never
be able to catch up,
like how I can never be
as old as my sister,
no matter how many
birthday cakes I eat.
[ Gulps ] Stop it!
You're gonna get
in her head!
♪♪
Kelsey gripped her fork
until her knuckles
were as white
as the mashed potatoes.
Could she, a middle
class half-orphan,
really conquer
someone as ruthless
and as cunning as Jerry?
[ Clears throat ]
Want some milk?
What a fool,
what a fool she was,
what a small,
but growing everyday fool.
If Kelsey should fail,
the Elders would no
doubt flee their rock,
and she would be
the one to blame.
And she would never be able
to show her face
in the creek again.
Ahh!
Phew, it's just the kids!
I knew that!
Hello, we were just
looking for something.
Where is little knight?
Um, she was supposed
to meet us here.
Dang, I knew
she would back out!
Heh, I can't believe David
picked her to be our knight.
The fear must have
gotten to her.
Pbht!
Kelsey's got no fear!
Her body is made of, like,
a million six packs now
and her sword has like
a thousand teeth
that can cut through
the hardest piece of toast!
Yeah, I think she's
just a little late.
Hey!
Lil' big knight's here!
Young paladin,
you came in the end!
Barry doubted you
but I always believed in you.
Um, Kelsey?
Now, it's the time for you
to prove yourself
by defeating
Jerry the Pilferer.
We sent him a phony birthday
invitation to lure him here!
And I wrote
there will be cake!
Both: Hehehehehe.
And I got this birthday
banner for him!
We're not actually
throwing a party, David!
♪♪
It's Jerry.
Hey, gang!
Thanks for the invitation.
I just got back from
a bird watching camp.
Sorry, I didn't have time
to bring a gift
but I brought
two birthday hats!
I'm really excited
about that cake, yo.
Hohoho, the only cake
you'll have is a pound cake!
Because our knight here is going
to pound you into dough!
Yeah, yeah, you don't look
so Jerry, Jerry!
Yeah, this third grader's going
to take back my sword for me!
You mean, this one?
[ Gasps ]
You can have it back
when you pay me back
for those movie tickets
I bought you.
We did pay you back,
you blockhead!
No, you paid me back
for one of them.
And you didn't include the
online purchase service fee.
Hey! If you decide
to buy them online,
that service fee is on you!
Now, go!
Kick his little
baby buns!
Uh, drop that sword
[ Clears throat ]
or, uh,
I'll do it myself.
Oh, well, if you insist.
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
Great!
We got the best seats!
Creek rules: First to lose
their weapon loses!
Kelsey froze, trying to see
a path to victory.
How could she face a sword
four times her size?
She was going to fail.
Why isn't she moving?
What's going on with her?
I can't watch!
♪♪
Uh!
Hot diggidy dog!
[ Slurps ]
♪♪
♪♪
Failure! Defeat!
British accent!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Why isn't she movin'?
-She's narrating.
-Oh, I don't know.
She usually moves around a lot
when she's narratin',
doin' this and that.
She must be stuck.
Stuck in her own head!
No hard feelings,
smallsword.
The great warrior Kelsey
looked at her friends.
She suddenly realized
this wasn't to be
the end of her tale,
for she had prepared
long and hard for this!
'Til her six pack
bulged out!
Okay.
I can't do British.
Hey! Creek rules:
The only weapons allowed
are swords, not words!
Her opponent might have
a really big sword,
but Kelsey had the heart
of a thousand warriors!
She had the guts to stand
up to for justice
and do what she did best.
Both: Fight!
Can you keep it down?
It's distracting.
Hey, bird watcher,
you missed this bird.
Caw!
Do you see the warrior
inside me ♪
All: Whuuu?
Go, Kelsey!
Whoo whoo whoooo!
[ Spits, groans ]
You messed up my style!
Ahh!
♪♪
Both: Whuuuuu!
[ Beatboxing ]
Kelsey's emotional
conflict resolved,
there was nothing left
but physical violence!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
The sword broke!
[ Slurps ]
So it did.
Oh, well, it was a little big
for me anyway.
[ Clang! ]
That was amazing, Kelsey!
Let's do
the victory dance!
Kelsey beat Jerry!
Kelsey beat Jerry!
Kelsey looked on as her squires celebrated her triumph.
Kelsey beat Jerry!
Kelsey is the greatest
in the world! ♪
Well, knight girl, it
seems you've completely
destroyed my sword.
My sincerest apologies.
Perhaps I can take
on another quest?
I will bring you a blacksmith
to mend your sword:
Dead or alive.
I'm kind of scared
of this kid.
No, young paladin,
that won't be necessary.
You have already proven
your mettle today.
We might not have our sword
back, but what really matters
is that Jerry
doesn't have it.
Now, who wants cake
to celebrate the victory?
Hey, where is the cake?
Nom nom nom.
All: Jerry!
Do you see
the warrior inside me? ♪
'Cause I can see
the warrior inside you ♪
Tonight
when the danger overwhelms ♪
And the mysteries
are piled high? ♪
Who's gonna be around,
never gonna let you down ♪
When you're on a wild ride?
Your friends are
always by your side ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek,
he's gonna save the day ♪
It's Craig of the Creek
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Kelsey: Kelsey dislodged her
blade with a twist.
The victory felt as hollow
as her sword,
for her foe was just wet dirt,
and even a lowly earthen worm
could take down a pile of mud.
She needed a worthy opponent.
I think she's doin'
that narratin' thing again.
Yeah, but her narrating seems
a lot more dramatic today.
Ooh! Maybe she was friends
with that mud man,
but he betrayed her,
stole her snacks,
burned herfarm down.
I'll go make her
a new one!
And to think, she had
welcomed him into her farm --
Oh, oh, my gosh! You guys!
I think I found somethin'!
All: Whoa!
What are they?
Great ancient wisdom
is what we seek,
so we call upon you,
the Elders of the Creek.
Mark:
Ah, this is hopeless!
Barry:
C'mon, we could take him!
David got his green belt!
I'm going to get
my green belt!
A rainbow belt
wouldn't stop him!
He's too powerful!
Your Elderships,
have we come at a bad time?
No, no.
What can we help you with?
My friends and I discovered
these mysterious relics.
Mayhaps ye may know
what they may be?
Ah, yes, these are
gravity sticks,
juggling instruments that
originated in Chinese circuses,
but which experienced
a true renaissance in the 1990s.
David
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
Knock it off!
Stop doing cool stuff
while I'm angry!
What's wrong,
Your Eldership?
Justiceis dead.
All: No!
Any virtue but Justice!
This plaque used to hold
a near-priceless replica
of Blightblade,
the titular sword
from the Eastern animation
masterpiece
"Esoteric Sword Fighter K."
You probably
haven't seen it.
Why, will you ask,
did I use the past tense
to describe what
this plaque once held?
Because a traitorous thief
named Jerry stole it from us!
Well, what's stoppin' you guys
from takin' it back?
You guys are tall!
We are no match for Jerry.
He could easily destroy
all three of us.
And now that he has the sword,
no one in the creek is safe.
David, we're gonna have to
hang out in your garage again.
Uh, about that
my grandma got rid
of the bean bags.
What?!
She said they
encouraged slouching!
As she watched the Elders
discuss lumbar support,
Kelsey realized something:
This was the challenge
she'd been waiting for
a Jerry!
Kelsey: I will do it.
I will battle this "Jerry"
and retrieve the Elder Sword.
Huzzah!
A knight to rescue us!
We'll find a way to lure
Jerry back to our cavern.
And then the boss battle
begins!
Oohh! Oh, man, Kelsey,
this is so bad butts!
You got a real
deal quest!
It's so brave of you
to stand up for the Elders.
All of creek society would
fall apart without their wisdom.
Kelsey had started
down an epic path,
and at its end,
a formidable foe.
So bold,
he bested the elders.
So mysterious,
his name was only spoken
in frightened whispers.
And so, rippling
with a million muscles,
Kelsey would need to prepare
for what would be
a battle for the ages!
I need to train!
I can't do it alone!
Oh oh oh! Me!
Pick me!
Me! Me me!
-Yes! Please!
Pick us, valiant knight!
If only I knew two eager
young squires to aid me.
Why isn't she pickin' me?
Why isn't she pickin' me?
Well, I suppose you two
will do!
♪♪
Nobody ever won a fight
Being afraid to fall
You gotta break
right through the wall ♪
So get in the ring,
start acting tough ♪
There's no more lookin' back
You gotta push it to the max
Do you see
the warrior inside me? ♪
'Cause I can see
the warrior inside you ♪
Tonight
What a week.
You've really changed.
[ Sighs ]
You are the best squires
a warrior could ask for.
Yeah, my neck's
feelin' pretty buff
from all that nodding
I was doin'.
Thanks to you guys and that
Dumpster fruit we found,
I have grown stronger.
I will handily defeat Jerry.
Yeah, I just hope that
Jerry guy isn't trainin', too.
Wait, what?
Well, because, like, if you're
trainin' to catch up to him,
but he's trainin', too
And, like, he was
stronger to begin with,
then he's probably
way stronger now!
And, like, you'll never
be able to catch up,
like how I can never be
as old as my sister,
no matter how many
birthday cakes I eat.
[ Gulps ] Stop it!
You're gonna get
in her head!
♪♪
Kelsey gripped her fork
until her knuckles
were as white
as the mashed potatoes.
Could she, a middle
class half-orphan,
really conquer
someone as ruthless
and as cunning as Jerry?
[ Clears throat ]
Want some milk?
What a fool,
what a fool she was,
what a small,
but growing everyday fool.
If Kelsey should fail,
the Elders would no
doubt flee their rock,
and she would be
the one to blame.
And she would never be able
to show her face
in the creek again.
Ahh!
Phew, it's just the kids!
I knew that!
Hello, we were just
looking for something.
Where is little knight?
Um, she was supposed
to meet us here.
Dang, I knew
she would back out!
Heh, I can't believe David
picked her to be our knight.
The fear must have
gotten to her.
Pbht!
Kelsey's got no fear!
Her body is made of, like,
a million six packs now
and her sword has like
a thousand teeth
that can cut through
the hardest piece of toast!
Yeah, I think she's
just a little late.
Hey!
Lil' big knight's here!
Young paladin,
you came in the end!
Barry doubted you
but I always believed in you.
Um, Kelsey?
Now, it's the time for you
to prove yourself
by defeating
Jerry the Pilferer.
We sent him a phony birthday
invitation to lure him here!
And I wrote
there will be cake!
Both: Hehehehehe.
And I got this birthday
banner for him!
We're not actually
throwing a party, David!
♪♪
It's Jerry.
Hey, gang!
Thanks for the invitation.
I just got back from
a bird watching camp.
Sorry, I didn't have time
to bring a gift
but I brought
two birthday hats!
I'm really excited
about that cake, yo.
Hohoho, the only cake
you'll have is a pound cake!
Because our knight here is going
to pound you into dough!
Yeah, yeah, you don't look
so Jerry, Jerry!
Yeah, this third grader's going
to take back my sword for me!
You mean, this one?
[ Gasps ]
You can have it back
when you pay me back
for those movie tickets
I bought you.
We did pay you back,
you blockhead!
No, you paid me back
for one of them.
And you didn't include the
online purchase service fee.
Hey! If you decide
to buy them online,
that service fee is on you!
Now, go!
Kick his little
baby buns!
Uh, drop that sword
[ Clears throat ]
or, uh,
I'll do it myself.
Oh, well, if you insist.
[ Gasps ]
♪♪
Great!
We got the best seats!
Creek rules: First to lose
their weapon loses!
Kelsey froze, trying to see
a path to victory.
How could she face a sword
four times her size?
She was going to fail.
Why isn't she moving?
What's going on with her?
I can't watch!
♪♪
Uh!
Hot diggidy dog!
[ Slurps ]
♪♪
♪♪
Failure! Defeat!
British accent!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Kelsey thought!
Why isn't she movin'?
-She's narrating.
-Oh, I don't know.
She usually moves around a lot
when she's narratin',
doin' this and that.
She must be stuck.
Stuck in her own head!
No hard feelings,
smallsword.
The great warrior Kelsey
looked at her friends.
She suddenly realized
this wasn't to be
the end of her tale,
for she had prepared
long and hard for this!
'Til her six pack
bulged out!
Okay.
I can't do British.
Hey! Creek rules:
The only weapons allowed
are swords, not words!
Her opponent might have
a really big sword,
but Kelsey had the heart
of a thousand warriors!
She had the guts to stand
up to for justice
and do what she did best.
Both: Fight!
Can you keep it down?
It's distracting.
Hey, bird watcher,
you missed this bird.
Caw!
Do you see the warrior
inside me ♪
All: Whuuu?
Go, Kelsey!
Whoo whoo whoooo!
[ Spits, groans ]
You messed up my style!
Ahh!
♪♪
Both: Whuuuuu!
[ Beatboxing ]
Kelsey's emotional
conflict resolved,
there was nothing left
but physical violence!
[ Thunder crashes ]
[ Breathing heavily ]
The sword broke!
[ Slurps ]
So it did.
Oh, well, it was a little big
for me anyway.
[ Clang! ]
That was amazing, Kelsey!
Let's do
the victory dance!
Kelsey beat Jerry!
Kelsey beat Jerry!
Kelsey looked on as her squires celebrated her triumph.
Kelsey beat Jerry!
Kelsey is the greatest
in the world! ♪
Well, knight girl, it
seems you've completely
destroyed my sword.
My sincerest apologies.
Perhaps I can take
on another quest?
I will bring you a blacksmith
to mend your sword:
Dead or alive.
I'm kind of scared
of this kid.
No, young paladin,
that won't be necessary.
You have already proven
your mettle today.
We might not have our sword
back, but what really matters
is that Jerry
doesn't have it.
Now, who wants cake
to celebrate the victory?
Hey, where is the cake?
Nom nom nom.
All: Jerry!
Do you see
the warrior inside me? ♪
'Cause I can see
the warrior inside you ♪
Tonight