Family Reunion (2019) s01e19 Episode Script

1 I want y'all to meet my family They're coming down south To stay with me - Big Moz - Do you love me? - Yep - I'm Cocoa! Jade in the house I've got a lot to say I'm a big sis, can't-miss renegade - Call me Shaka now - Hey - I'm the I'm the chief rocker now - Hey Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi, Mazzi That's me - Little mommy, I'm Ami - Hey Singing loud and having fun It's Family Reunion Family Reunion was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
What do you think? It's nice.
Nice is how you describe penmanship.
- Or ugly boys.
- Oh! It's just hard to get excited about my party, knowing Royale can't come.
Since your parents took you off punishment for sneaking out to see him, you've been very well behaved.
Or have you been creeping behind their backs and ours? Spill, girl, spill! No! Then the least they can do is let Royale come at the party.
Have you met my parents? It's your 15th birthday.
Yeah, and I'm trying to make it to 16.
My dad said the next time I see Royale will be when I graduate.
That's in four years.
Or five.
I'm not judging.
Get a tutor.
Cheer up.
You're the star of the party.
I wish I could just blend into the crowd and disappear.
That That's actually a brilliant idea.
- What do you mean? - I mean, why don't you have a masquerade party? That way, everyone will wear masks and no-one will know who's who.
Or who's there to see you.
Who? Royale! Oh! You do need a tutor.
Yeah, but she's still cute.
This is true.
Uh Are those new clubs? They sure are.
Got them monogrammed in 24 carat.
Well, didn't you just buy clubs last year? What was wrong with them? They had dirt on them.
What? I know you're not talking.
How much were those two-carat diamond earrings? Well, I bought them with your travel miles credit card and, one more pair, we can go to Hawaii.
You're welcome! You're such a giver.
I'll have you know that these earrings are an investment that will grow in value.
Who told you that? The store clerk? Yes.
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, baby.
Woo! I think we cleaned out every store in Atlanta.
Oh, I see someone's finally excited about their party.
Oh well, holding your credit card always cheers me up.
It puts me in a good mood too! Uh I'm not saying y'all are gold diggers, - but y'all ain't messing with no broke - Ah-ah! Not in my house! But we did have a little trouble with your credit card at the party store.
What kind of trouble? Oop! What happened? They just said the card was frozen.
Okay, but did Edward Scissorhands have to slice it up like that? Good thing I got my shoes first.
And this watch.
Oh, you sure are a good son.
I hope it was on sale.
- I don't know.
- Oh Moz, how could our account be frozen? I don't know.
I'll call Marcellus and see what's up.
Who's Marcellus? Our new money manager.
Phew! Pfft! Money manager! The only thing I need managing money is the Bank of Cleavage.
Hm! And it's black-owned.
Okurr! Oooh! Oh! Catch, Shaka! Why is he here? It's Elvis.
He's always here.
Yeah.
But that was before he sold me out to Jade.
Oh, come on, Shaka.
Let's let bygones be bygones.
Okay.
Bye.
Begone.
That's not very nice.
Good.
'Cause that was exactly what I was going for.
Come on! He only took Jade's side because he likes her.
Yeah, man.
I'm a sucker for love.
No.
You're just a sucker.
And you're not a real friend.
I'll, uh, see you around, Mazzi.
No, you don't have to go, Elvis.
You're a traitor too.
How am I a traitor? You and Elvis have beef.
Not me and Elvis.
We're brothers.
If I have beef with someone, then you have beef with them too.
See, it's that game mentality like that that holds us down.
Elevate, my brother! Elevate! I'm not trying to scare you, but life as you know it is over.
What? Stop it, man.
You're scaring Cocoa.
How bad is it? Let's just say you might have to go from filet mignon to Filet-O-Fish.
Look, you have four mortgages No, no, no, no.
We have three.
The house in Seattle, the beach house and the ski chalet.
What's the fourth? Mmm, you know what? It's not even worth talking about.
Excuse me? What are you hiding? Is there an outside family that I don't know about? Is there? Because you could use the write-off.
Okay, I should probably talk about it.
It's actually an inside family Daniel.
We're paying your brother's mortgage? You know how he needed help getting the money to buy his condo? Yeah.
Well, let's just say he's got both kidneys because of me.
How much did you pay? Uh all of it? Listen, all is not lost, okay? I just need a little bit of time to figure out a new financial plan for you and your family.
Until then, the both of you have to buckle down a bit.
- Huh? - Understood.
Got it.
All right.
Well, I will see you guys at the party that you can't afford.
Uh, are you gonna bring the kids? - That depends.
- On what? On whether or not they hear me sneaking out.
Who was that? Our financial adviser.
What did he advise you about? Did it have anything to do with cutting up that credit card? All right, I love you, M'Dear, but some things need to stay between a husband and wife.
Excuse me? But it sounds like you telling me, in a nice way, to mind my own business.
I would never say that to you.
Cocoa? Mind your business.
Oh? Oh! What are you doing here? Well, I was in a tree and I decided to stop by.
You didn't answer my last text.
I don't want to be a slave to technology.
Your phone died.
Yeah.
I have some great news.
I just got a paid gig in Atlanta for this Sunday.
Oh, my God, that's amazing! But you can't leave until after my party.
What, your parents stopped tripping? I'm invited? No, but I decided I'm gonna have a masquerade party.
Everyone will be wearing masks and, if you wear this my parents won't know you're there.
No can do, Jade.
Why not? We won't get caught.
It's not about getting caught.
I'm a man of principle.
Can't you have principles after my party? It's not how it works.
I'm sorry.
Happy birthday.
Thanks.
Oh! Oh, my Just kidding! Goodbye.
Ah! Looks, brains and bakes.
I'm a catch.
Oh, Mazzi.
I'm home.
What's up, Mazzi? Braylan.
When did you get out? Funny.
Your jokes are as bad as your hoop game.
Oh, you mean the game that my grandma and I beat you at? Oh! That's right! I forgot you two knew each other.
Oh, you made cookies! Want one, Braylan? He can't have any of my cookies.
These are for family.
Well, I'm family.
Here you go, bro.
I know what you're doing, Shaka.
What? Just because you don't get along with Braylan doesn't mean I can't be friends with him.
Yes, it does.
No, it doesn't.
Yes, it does! No, it doesn't! You guys are weird.
Hoops tomorrow, buddy? Sure.
After all, you are my best friend.
You know you're wrong for that.
Braylan's not really your friend.
He is today.
You just did this to mess with me.
If I wanted to mess with you, I'd do this.
Cut it out! Anybody wants to fight up in here Boys! You don't want none of this smoke! In order to save money, I did my own laundry.
What do you think? I think somebody made Hulk angry.
Very angry.
But I'm not mad at it.
Well, what's with that bandage on your eye? Did you try to make grits again? Ugh! No! I am doing my part to save money by waxing my own eyebrows.
Are you sure that's a good idea? Honey, it's fine! I saw it on a YouTube tutorial.
I let it sit for five minutes and now it's time to Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! My eye! - My eye! - All right.
Let me see, let me see.
How bad is it? It It's hardly noticeable.
- Well, that's a relief.
- Mmhm.
Because it hurt like I ripped it off! Honey my eyebrow is gone! Mommy, where are you? Oh, shoot! Uh, quick! Put these on.
- You don't want to scare the kids! - Okay! Mm.
Uh, come in! We have to cancel my party.
What? Why? I won't have fun since Royale can't come.
What? That's why you want to cancel? That's how important he is to me.
Ami, do me a favor.
Stay eight.
- Hm.
Works for me.
- All right, you know what? Fine, Jade.
We'll cancel the party.
It'll save us some money.
And lose all the money we've already spent? I think not! You can't force me to have a party.
Oh, yes, we can.
We're gonna have this party without Royale and it's gonna be off the chain.
Hm? The bomb dot com.
Mm.
Try "lit," Daddy.
Lit, daddy.
- Mmhm.
- Ugh! If it were my party, I'd be really grateful.
Think about it.
Really, Moz? Jade just gave us an out.
This party is getting very expensive! Cocoa, my baby girl only turns 15 once.
What do you want? You think I don't know Is everything okay in here? We're fine, M'Dear.
Well, it sounds to me like y'all are arguing.
And you have small children.
So you're gonna need to work through whatever Cocoa did.
Look, we are not arguing.
- We're all good.
- Yeah.
- See? - Oh, yeah.
Mwah! - All good.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
All right.
- All right.
- Yeah.
Yup.
Bye.
Now you've got your mom concerned.
We just need to get on the same page.
Oh! M'Dear, were you eavesdropping? Oh! Where am I? You know I'm getting old.
I think I got a touch of that dement Dement Oh, shoot! I forgot how to say the word "dementia"! Oh! I see you're doing something different with your eyebrows.
Yeah.
I like it.
It distracts from that hair growing at the bottom of your chin.
Ah! This is not the face of a girl who's hosting the hottest soiree of the 21st, with help from your fab friends, of course.
I know that's right.
This party is way better than that lame party we went to last month.
Uh, that was my party.
And everybody loved it.
Did they? Jade! We have something that's gonna blow your mind.
Special delivery from Seattle.
Surprise! Oh, my God! Astrid and Zach! I've missed you so much! Oh, it's so good to see you guys! How did you get - Your parents flew us here.
- First class.
First class? We bought those tickets when we had money.
Well, they're hitch-hiking home.
Oh, uh, did you guys meet Carson Lueders yet? Okay.
- Hi.
- Jade, this party is sick.
It's gonna be all over my story.
Oh, my party's gonna go viral! I want you to meet two of my closest friends from Seattle, Astrid and Zach.
Astrid and Zach, I want you to meet over 3.
5 million of my closest friends.
I'm live.
Hi! - Hey, what's up? - It's so cool.
So you sprung to get Carson Lueders? Yeah, he's a big influencer and the kids love him.
He must have cost a fortune.
Not really.
- On the Kardashian scale - Mmhm.
are we talking Kylie or Rob? Khloe.
Ugh! Wait a minute.
Somebody left a full glass of punch? Hey! Punch doesn't grow on trees, people! Carry on.
Moz! Nobody drank it! It's so good to see you guys.
Thank you, guys, for coming.
- Oh, I love those shoes.
- They hurt like heck.
- Royale? - Shh! You can't tell everyone I'm here or my disguise is kind of pointless.
Oh! Hey, they're playing our song.
We have a song? We do now.
I'm so glad you could make it.
I thought you'd be halfway to Atlanta by now.
I'm leaving soon, but I wanted to stop by because I know how much this night means to you.
Oh! That's Royale.
Oh? Sure is.
Thank you for bending your principles for me.
You don't have to thank me.
I love you.
I love you, too.
So remember you told Jade to stop being so boy crazy? Yeah.
- Well, now she's girl crazy.
- What? That's no girl.
Huh? All right, all right, all right, all right.
Royale? While this is an improvement over your crop top, I'm still throwing you out.
Jade! I cannot believe you would disobey us like this.
- All right, time for you to go.
- But, Dad No buts.
I told you I don't want him here.
What about what Jade wants? Look, I've had enough of you.
Now you're gonna leave, the easy way or the hard way.
I'm not telling you again.
Fine! Royale! Royale! Oh, Dad, please don't do this! - You're ruining my party.
- No.
- You ruined this party yourself.
- Mm-hmm.
What's going on over there? That was nice, Mazzi! Yeah, yeah.
You saw me, you saw me, you saw me.
Elvis I couldn't tell if you were dancing or having a seizure.
Oh! I'm just light on my feet.
You can't even see your feet.
Hey, Braylan, leave him alone.
Oh! Elvis's girlfriend is sticking up for him! What losers! Right, Shaka? Not funny, bro.
What? You say worse things all the time.
Yeah.
But these are my brothers.
I can call them names.
You can't.
It's time for you to go.
Really? Who's gonna make me leave? I will.
No.
I will.
And I will hold Mazzi's jacket.
Man, I don't have time for a bunch of lames.
I'm outta here.
I'm glad he's gone.
Shaka, did you mean it when you called me your brother? Yeah.
Sorry for tripping.
And I'm sorry for selling you out for love.
I'll never do it again.
So we're good? We're more than good.
We're family.
And family looks out for each other.
Now, let's go stick our fingers in Jade's cake before she cuts it.
You read my mind.
They're coming for your cake, Jade! Sorry.
Old habits die hard.
I have to say, we did this.
If this is gonna be our last party, - the McKellans are going out with a bang.
- Mm.
Hey, Marcellus, you made it.
- Where are the kids? - Oh, they're right there.
Are they putting sliders in their pockets? Hey! What did I tell you guys about taking people's food? Huh? Always bring your baggies! Okay.
What? Don't judge me.
This is why we're not broke.
- Well, neither are we.
- Mmm.
Yeah, about that, uh, come on over here.
I usually don't like talking business at parties, but you guys' finances are worse than I thought.
How bad are they? Let's just say you need to be putting these sliders away for a rainy day.
But not this one.
Wait a minute.
M'Dear, we see you.
How did you know it was me? Your mask is a church fan.
Oh! It was last minute.
Don't mind me.
Carry on.
It's fine.
You're gonna find out sooner or later.
Are we broke? Broke is a strong word.
Accurate, but strong.
That's impossible.
Moz made millions during his career.
Yes, but unfortunately, the problems started a long time ago, huh? Bad investments, the vacation homes, the cars as gifts.
In the last year, you guys spent more on entertainment than most people make.
That lifestyle is impossible to sustain.
This cannot be happening.
How could we have been so careless? You know, this is more common than you think.
The average NFL player is broke three years after retirement.
But I've only been retired for nine months.
Congratulations.
You crushed the average.
Too soon? You know it's too soon.
Look, Moz, Cocoa I worked out a plan to get you back on track in the next couple of years, huh? This is a bill.
Yeah.
You've got to pay that before I give you the plan.
Don't judge! Again, this is why I'm not broke.
I am so sorry.
But you and the kids can stay with me and Jeb as long as you need to.
That is so sweet of you, M'Dear.
Okay, Cocoa, you can stay too.
All right, everybody.
It's time for a McKellan family slide! Let's do this! Party people on the left Let's get it started Party people on the right Come on, let's go! I don't feel like dancing.
You know you're gonna have to put on a brave face for your kids.
Come on.
You know what, Moz? She's right.
I'm so mad at myself.
Man, I can't believe I let this happen.
Hey you're not alone.
We got into this together.
We'll get out of it together.
Yeah.
We'll be all right.
Feeling brand new now Just unwind Oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh Where is Jade? Come on, Jade! This is your favorite dance! Wait, where is that girl? Young folks Show me what you've got Excuse me.
Grown folks Show me what you've got Let's get it popping Young folks Oh, no.
- What? - Jade's gone.
She left town with Royale.
Party people on the right Let's get it jumping