Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e19 Episode Script

1
(bright cheerful music)
(uplifting music)
(waves crashing)
(children cheering)
- Hey girls, any sign of Brett or Wayne?
- No, sorry.
- Where are they?
I need some help in the restaurant.
Jackie's had to go out for a while.
- Oh really?
- Yeah, sorry, love.
You'll have to come and give
us a hand till they show up.
- I can't.
I have to see Dr. Longford.
- What's wrong with Meredith?
Is she sick?
- No, don't ask.
Those boys off enjoying themselves, I bet.
(thunder crashing)
(rain splattering)
- How's that, Seamus?
- Higher, Brett.
- Is that all right?
- [Seamus] That's it, freeze!
- Don't worry, I am.
- Right there, Brett.
That's the ticket.
- Natalie, you and I need
to have a little talk.
- [Natalie] A little talk, Dr. Longford?
- [Dr. Longford] Yes
Natalie, a little talk.
You see, I got your test results back.
- [Natalie] Oh please, Dr. Longford.
I must know.
Is it serious?
- I'm afraid it's bad news, Natalie.
- [Natalie] Bad news?
- [Dr. Longford] Yes Natalie, bad news.
(thunder crashing)
(electrical buzzing)
- No!
Brett, come in!
What happened?
- Maybe next time I should knock?
- Your basic problem is age.
- I beg your pardon?
There's none of us getting
any younger, Mr. McCracken.
- I meant your television.
- Thank you.
Do you think I could have
my office back now, please?
(rock music)
(snoring)
- (gasp) Miss Murphy, I was just--
- [Craig] Who?
- Um, nothing.
- Well, we're done for now.
Thank you so much for your help.
I'm sure that Jackie will
be very grateful, too.
- Oh, no problem.
I just think it's great
the way she gives away
extra food to old people.
Is there any sign of Brett yet?
- No, no, we'll have
stern words to say to him
and Wayne when they do turn up.
- Oh, well, look at the
time, I better get going.
- Now, hold on, don't go yet.
I've got something for you.
It's a, well, come downstairs.
(mud sloshing)
- [Seamus] I don't think
the aerial's the problem.
It's the TV itself.
- Sorry you missed it.
- Oh well, I'll just have
to phone the fan club,
see if anyone's recorded it.
- What on Earth is this?
- Sorry, Miss Murphy, I'll clean it up.
- Well make sure you do.
Your job is to keep the place clean,
not make it dirtier.
- What's up with Miss Murphy?
It's just a bit of water.
- Miss Murphy appears to
have something on her mind.
- Like what?
- Like none of our business.
We fix the building, not the people.
The best thing we can do
is stay out of her way
until whatever it is blows over.
- Is that the time?
I've gotta go.
- Hey, what about this mess?
(coughing)
(door squeaking)
(rocks scraping)
(electronic tinkling)
- [Natalie] Oh please, Dr. Longford.
I must know.
Is it serious?
- [Dr. Longford] I'm afraid
it's bad news, Natalie.
- [Natalie] Bad news?
- [Dr. Longford] Yes, Natalie, bad news.
- Craig, I really have to go now.
- It won't be a second.
Ah, there it is.
- What's this?
- For you.
For all your help.
Jackie couldn't take everything with her,
and that's not all, chocolates (laughs).
They're handmade.
- Oh, well, thanks, but I really can't.
- Of course you can.
I couldn't have done it without ya.
The boys have been missing all day.
And Meredith, she can't do
anything when Dr. Longford's on.
- Oh, doctor, but if I'm to live--
- That's Dr. Longford?
- Yeah, doesn't miss an episode.
She's completely hooked.
It's scary.
Don't know why I let her watch it.
- Because you think that
if I continue to watch it
every week, I'll look upon
Dr. Longford as a role model.
- Yeah, well there's--
- And then I'll decide
to become a doctor myself
when I grow up,
and that's what every parent wants.
- That's actually true (laughs).
(phone ringing)
Excuse me.
- [Natalie] Promise me
that you'll think of me.
Don't forget me.
- [Dr. Longford] I'll
never forget you, Natalie.
- Jackie?
Oh hi, sweetheart.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
(sneezing)
everything's fine.
You should leave me in charge more often.
(sneezing)
- Hey, you do not want to be late today.
Miss Murphy's having a weird one.
- Where have you been?
- Worst day ever.
You know the school television?
- Forget it, I don't wanna know.
- You're angry at me, I can tell.
- (sigh) I have just spent
the whole day washing dishes
when I should have been
catching up on some sleep
and now, thanks to you, I'm
gonna be late for school.
- Lack of sleep makes you crabby.
- I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Now let's just get me out of here now.
- Well, why didn't you
portal down earlier?
- Because every time I turn around,
Craig is right--
- 'Bout time you made an appearance.
Hannah's been covering for you
and Wayne all afternoon.
- Can I give you my excuse later?
- What's wrong, you're looking a little,
well, you're burning up.
You should be in bed.
- Yes, straight to your room.
- Thanks, Hannah.
- Now Hannah, you've done
enough this afternoon.
- Oh, I don't mind.
- Yeah, she doesn't mind.
- It's all right.
I'll look after him.
- Oh, but.
- She really has got a flare
for this doctor thing, hasn't she?
- Yeah, hi, sorry I was gone so long.
- [Craig] You've been down
the car wreckers yards again?
- No.
- You better not have
been near those cranes.
I've told you before, they are dangerous.
- Dad!
- No buts.
Take that
and walk Hannah home.
- Home, no, no, no, it's fine.
- What about Brett?
- He is not well.
- Oh, yeah, right.
- You wanna be grounded forever?
- Okay, okay, we're walking.
Come on, Hannah.
- Oh, but--
- No buts, no excuses, walk.
(upbeat music)
(bell ringing)
(upbeat music)
(students chattering)
- Where's Hannah?
- Well, how should I know?
She's your roommate.
(footsteps tapping)
(door slamming)
- Settle down at once!
You should all be ready
to start the lesson.
Doesn't time mean anything to you lot?
(suspenseful music)
And do when know when Miss O'Flaherty
intends to grace us with her presence?
- Are we there yet?
- Nearly.
You know, you can go if you'd like.
I can take it from here.
- No way, you heard Dad.
If I don't take this
stuff to your doorstep
I'll be grounded till I'm 30.
I've never seen him that mad.
Didn't we already come down this street?
- No, of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.
- Hello again!
(dramatic music)
- I hate to worry you unnecessarily,
but you're dead.
- Did it occur to you that's
only a toy stethoscope?
- Well, you're quite welcome
to get a second opinion.
- Meredith, will you do me a favor?
- Anything to ease the pain.
- Can you allow me one visitor?
- Who?
- Hannah.
- She's already gone home.
- Gone where?
- Wayne's walking her home.
- Oh boy.
She's really gonna kill me this time.
Lucky I'm already dead.
(dramatic music)
- All right, that's it.
What's going on?
- Here we are.
- What, that one?
- Yep.
Home sweet home.
Nearly walked past it there.
How silly is that?
- Right.
- Well, thanks for walking me home.
- Bye.
- Bye.
(dramatic music)
- Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- In the head, I mean.
- I'm fine.
- As long as you're sure, see you later.
(dramatic music)
(birds chirping)
- You're okay, Hannah.
Just stay calm.
Five seconds, and you can go.
One.
Two.
(metal locks clanging)
Oh, this is bad.
- Hey!
You forgot your chocolates.
- Oh, don't let me keep you.
- Do you really need all those locks?
- We, you never know who's outside.
Can't be too careful.
- Who are you?
- Oh, hi, Gran.
It's me.
This is for you.
So hard when they start to forget.
- Not so fast, hot stuff.
- [Wayne] Hot stuff?
- You, sit there.
Not you!
- What is your problem, lady?
I mean, ma'am.
- My problem is you.
- What are you talking about?
I just met you.
- I know more about you than you think.
- What did you tell her?
- Nothing.
- She didn't have to.
I've met your type before.
- It is nothing to do with him.
It's all my fault.
- Oh, you sweet child.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
- You did tell her about me.
Look lady, whatever she
told you, it's a lie.
I don't even know how to operate a crane.
(footsteps banging)
- I think you should sit down, Mr. Payne.
- Huh?
I'd really rather you called me Dad.
- It's about the patient.
- And call him Brett.
What about him?
- Well, there's no easy
way to tell you this,
but I'm afraid I've lost him.
- What?
- No seriously.
I can't find him anywhere.
(rapid music)
- [Brett] Hey, Wayne.
- Why are you wearing your pajamas?
- I was tired, all right?
Where is Hannah?
- At her house, of course.
- Right, which one?
- I swear, you're just as bad as she is.
She just walked past it three times.
- Well, it's kind of ordinary.
It's easy to forget.
- Ordinary?
What, with pillars, and ducks, and swans?
Not to mention a crazy old granny.
- A granny?
- Yeah, and she knows everything.
- She does?
- And if she tells Dad
about me and the crane,
I'm holding you
and your blabber-mouth
girlfriend responsible.
- What crane?
- Crane?
I didn't say anything about a crane.
I don't even know how to operate a crane.
- It's time you and I had a little talk.
- I don't know how to explain.
- You don't need to.
We both know why you're
really here, don't we?
- I doubt that.
- I had plenty of young men after me
when I was your age.
- Excuse me?
- Following you around.
Bringing you chocolates and gifts.
I admit, the casserole is a new one on me.
It isn't easy giving young
fellows the message sometimes.
- No.
- So, you say to yourself,
I know, I'll pretend I live
here, give him the slip.
Am I right?
- Well, you've got me.
- Well, I've got some sorry news for you.
(dramatic music)
It never ends.
(dramatic music)
- History.
The subject that reminds us
that everything that has
ever happened is in the past.
Over.
Beyond us.
Did I tell you to write that down?
- No, Miss Murphy.
- Gone forever.
Beyond our reach.
History.
- You know, I'm not sure I
like the new Miss Murphy.
- Me neither.
- You know, I haven't seen
her this weird, since,
since this time last year.
- Her birthday!
(dramatic music)
(upbeat music)
(camera shutter clicks)
- And what about this fella?
He wrote an opera for me.
Talk about trying too hard.
- Well, I really have to go now.
- I always thought that the one good thing
about getting on in years,
was being able to pass
one's wisdom onto the young.
- And I appreciate it, I do, it's just--
- Well then (laughs).
Oh, how could I forget this fellow?
- Hi, I'm collecting for
the church jumble sale.
No.
- All the girls were chasing after him.
Except me.
- Oh, good afternoon,
I'm conducting a survey.
No.
- He sent me a photo.
I sent it back all torn up.
But not before I kept a copy.
- Hi, is Hannah here?
Yeah, it could work.
(doorbell ringing)
- I'll get it.
- Who on Earth can that be?
(door creaking)
(sneezing)
- What are you doing here?
- Well I came to help because
I heard Wayne walked you home.
- Well, it's a bit late now.
- [Granny] Who is it, dear?
- Um, nobody.
Look, you've gotta go.
Guys aren't exactly flavor
of the month right here.
- What are you talking about?
Do you have any idea what time it is?
We've gotta go, now.
- We can't.
- Why not?
- It's your mum.
- What about her?
- She's here!
(intense music)
- Well, who was it?
One of yours or one of mine?
- One of mine.
I just tried to be
reasonable but in the end,
I just had to close the door.
- Good for you.
- Do you mind checking to
see if he got the message?
- Oh, wait here.
- From the window.
- Even better!
- Back door.
- I can't see a soul.
- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.
Apart from a woman crossing the road
with a casserole dish.
(sneezing)
Oh, bless you, dear.
- Thanks.
(doorbell ringing)
- That must be her.
- Oh, well, do you mind
if I go out the back door?
Just in case he's outside watching?
- Excellent idea.
You go for it girl.
- And thanks for helping me.
It was wonderful.
- No problem at all.
We girls have to stick together.
- Come, come.
- Hi.
- Are you alone?
- [Jackie] Yeah, I'm--
- Don't say another word, dear.
The casserole dish says it all for you.
They're absolutely
unreliable, aren't they?
- What, casseroles?
- Men!
Now you come inside and
tell me all about it.
- I don't understand it.
Why would Brett run off in that condition?
- And in his pajamas.
- Why do these things only happen
when Jackie leaves me in charge?
- Oh look, there's Jackie's car.
- [Craig] Oh yeah, so it is.
- Excuse me.
Are you looking for
the lady with the food?
- That's right.
- Beryl's, across the road.
- Thank you.
Nice man.
Now I've gotta go and tell her
that her son is sick and missing.
This ain't gonna be pretty.
(footsteps banging)
- What?
- Craig.
(birds singing)
(doorbell ringing)
(door creaking)
- Yes?
- Hi, I'm looking for my wife, Jackie?
I believe that she's here?
- I've been expecting you.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Treating her like that.
- Eh?
- Craig!
- Jackie?
- Don't air your dirty washing in public.
- What dirty wash, what
have you been telling her?
- Nothing.
Look, it's been really
lovely chatting with you,
but we've gotta go now.
- You can't just up and
leave just like that.
- We can't?
- It's high time someone explain
things properly to you two.
(metal clanging)
(door slamming)
Oh, this guy was a real
sweetheart, at first.
Never be fooled by a pretty face, dear.
It's what's inside that counts.
(soft music)
- They're looking at photos.
Now's our chance.
- What if she tells them you were here?
- It's okay, I didn't give her my name.
- Uh-oh, it's Meredith.
- Sometimes I leave
sweets in our school yard
to see which boys will
pick them up and eat them.
- That's my girl.
You can learn a lot about men
by setting traps for them.
- I'm somewhere in the
region of six to eight years
before I start dating.
What are your thoughts
on high school boys?
- Well--
- Let's talk about that
in six to eight years.
- Or 10.
(footsteps banging)
- Goodness for that.
- It's cheesecake.
- Yeah.
- Haven't got a very sweet tooth, you see.
In fact, I haven't got any teeth at all,
just dentures (laughs).
I thought I might share it with Beryl.
- Oh, uh, she's got one.
- Oh, a casserole, maybe?
- No!
Casseroles are out of the question.
- Oh.
- But a nice bunch of
flowers might do the trick.
- That's a good idea, here.
(guitar music)
- Your mother obviously
knows a little about dating.
After all, she did find your father.
(doorbell ringing)
- I'll get it.
- No dear, it's not your house.
- I'll get it.
(footsteps tapping)
(dramatic music)
Oh, it's you.
What do you want?
- To come in.
You've invited everyone else in today.
- Oh, all right.
Would you like to share my casserole?
- [Man] You know, I nearly
brought one over myself.
(electronic tinkling)
- Weirdest day ever.
- Yep.
Weirdest day ever.
Get better soon.
- Yep, watch out for Miss Murphy.
(electronic tinkling)
(footsteps banging)
- Miss O'Flaherty,
you are one hour and 43 minutes late,
and what is this?
- Cheesecake.
- It's from all of us, Miss
Murphy, for your birthday.
- That's right.
We thought it would be the
perfect time to thank you
for sharing your wisdom with us.
- And for making such a
difference in our lives.
Happy birthday, Miss Murphy.
- Three cheers for Miss Murphy!
- Hip hip!
- Hooray!
- Hip hip!
- Hooray!
- Hip hip!
- Hooray!
(cheering)
(clapping)
- Oh, and these are for you.
They're handmade.
- Suppose you think this will
get you out of detention?
- I'm hoping so.
- We'll see.
But I have to say that
this is really very nice of you all.
Thank you.
(clapping)
- Oh, Dr. Longford.
Will we ever meet again?
- Perhaps we can be together someday.
But for now, my work is done.
- Dr. Longford, isn't there
anything else you can do for me?
- [Dr. Longford] How about
a couple more bandages?
- No!
(bright cheerful music)
(electronic whooshing)