Gintama (2005) s01e19 Episode Script
Why's the Sea So Salty? Because You City Folk Pee Whenever You Go Swimming!
["Tell us, Ginpachi Sensei".]
Tell us, Ginpachi Sensei.
[Question & Answers - Ginpachi Sakata.]
Well, this question is from someone pen-named, "Go to hell, Onishi-san.
" Gin-san always wears the same kimono.
Does he only have one outfit? The answer is In fact, he has four of the same kimonos, and he washes and wears them in turns.
What? Why does he have four of the same kimono? You know Because it's confusing if the main character changes his costume a lot.
Lupin the 3rd always wears the same jacket, you know.
Besides, in anime, if the costume is different every episode, you need to draw up a new setting and stuff! It's a pain in the ass! So, Onishi, go stand in the hallway! [And so we decided to go full out and change their looks for this episode.
.]
[Please enjoy the summer fashion for the Odd Jobs family.
.]
[Pachinko Jumbo.]
Stop crying I'm not going to come over there! Come over here quickly! Hey.
Ohyeah You're here, too.
What's the matter with you? You're sweating like a pig.
Did you lose? No.
It's hot today.
You're sweating pretty badly, too.
Did you lose? Hot! It's hot today! Hey, sun! Take a paid day off, idiot! I see.
I thought I had cold sweats.
["Why is the Sea So Salty? Because You City Folk Pee Whenever You Go Swimming!".]
Looks like a guy never comes to any good trying to get rich quick, eh? Money earned through your own sweat just naturally stays in your hands longer.
If I had stopped right there I could've won.
Why didn't I stop at that point? Are you listening to me? I used to be a hopeful kid with a lot of dreams.
How would that kid feel if he saw me now? A grown-up snarfing an ice pop he bought with money he scrounged off the street.
If only I had stopped then I could be having all-you-can-eat parfaits right now If only I had stopped then Are you listening to me? Oh, Hasagawa-san.
Have you heard of any easy money-making opportunities around? Because of the recession, everyone is eating ice pops for all three meals.
I can't eat ice cream three times a day.
I prefer having a snack bar for lunch.
Hey, stop Come on! You said you were going to take me to the beach.
Sounds good.
I want to go to the beach.
I already bought my swimsuit.
Sounds good.
A bikini sounds really good! Idiot.
If we go to the beach right now, we can't swim.
I heard that some mysterious space creature might appear.
I don't know if it's a man-eating shark, squid or octopus, but it's dangerous and people can't swim at the beach.
So they've posted a bounty on the monster.
Oh, no! How scary! This summer we'll do some pole-and-line fishing for the alien! What? Who are these people? [Kabukicho Station.]
So, you guys, let's go for it! Yeah! We're not going there for fun! We're going to fight! We're about to ride the wild waves You guys look like you're going to a picnic! You're allowed to buy snacks totaling 300 yen.
Do you understand?! Captain! You can buy 400 Tasty sticks.
Really?! I can buy that many? Kagura-chan, your calculation isn't quite right.
And Hasegawa-san, this is not the time to act surprised! Shin-chan, don't you need to point out Gin-san's outfit? Shut up.
I didn't expect anything like that.
By the way, what are you doing here? I heard you're going to the beach, right? Don't make me say that again.
We're going to work! I heard you're going to the beach, right? Not again Hey, Gin-san, holding nonsensical conversations won't do us any good.
Let's just go to the beach.
I hope nobody will beat us there.
What?! We don't have a car? Gin-chan! Where's the money for it? What?! It took me all night to make a music tape.
[My Best.]
How old are you? It's not like you're going on your first date or getting your first driver's license in your 30s.
Cassette tape players aren't built in cars anymore.
I worked really hard to make "My Best" tape.
We don't have time.
Let's go.
Gin-san! A ticket, a ticket! We can't even afford to buy a train ticket.
Can't you understand? Then how can we? Ride stealing, ride stealing.
We have to cheat on the train fare, uh-huh.
But that's a crime! How about buying discount fares at least? We have no choice.
We'll take a taxi Hey, hey! This man changes his mind in the same breath! How about that? Let's take that for now.
It's impossible.
We can't even get probation.
I don't know what to do.
Oh, well.
You guys are really high-maintenance.
You should be thankful someone like me has common sense.
It can't be You You have money? Don't worry.
My budget is still strapped.
So let's find out how we can get to the beach on the cheap.
You sounded like you had some sort of great idea, but you're suggesting we hitchhike? I know that! You can stop a car with a sexy wink, right? All right! My thighs will shoot them down.
Stop it, Hasegawa-san.
No cars will stop for your hairy legs.
I have no choice First, put both hands on your head and suck in your stomach then stoop forward to show off your ample cleavage Go! Here we go Can you turn up the air conditioner? Thank you.
We're so lucky that we happened to be going the same way.
Hey, can you play my tape? Ow! Kagura-chan, you're hurting me! Don't move! Your knee is pushing into my cut.
Hey, don't you think we should be treated a little better since we stopped the car with our lives? It's hot! Hot and stinky! You put in too much pomade! Play "My Best" now! Why can't you sit in the front seat, Sister? Hey, driver, can you make it any cooler? Don't worry about the small stuff, Shin-chan.
It stinks! I can't breathe! Whoa! Warm liquid! Sadaharu, was that your pee? It stinks! O-Open the window! "My Best"! Air conditioner! Warm liquid is on my leg! Oh, my goodness Man, what a useless car.
So true! I can't believe there's a car that can't play a cassette tape these days! That's crap! That's not true.
I made a big effort to get a taxi, but you were all too excited You sound like you stopped the car.
Ah.
We still haven't arrived at the beach.
I feel like we've at least made it 200 kilometers.
Stop complaining and keep walking.
Just to let you know, we haven't even walked three kilometers yet.
Give me some water There's some water in the barrel attached to Sadaharu's neck.
Th-This is Oh, yeah.
Raw water isn't healthy, so I made something like this.
I can't drink it G-Give me water Why are you talking like a boxer who's begging for a drink of water but needs to make his weight? When it's hot, it doesn't do any good to say how hot it is, right? That's right.
If he can speak out like that, he's fine.
But if he can't speak clearly You're awesome, Hasegawa-san.
It reminds me of what the president of some company said: "A man should lean forward even when falling down.
" Burning asphalt It smells like those cheeks are burning.
I'm really hot! Please help me! Seriously, my cheeks are hot and it smells like something's burning.
I can't move anymore Are you listening to me? Oh, there's the beach! Guys, let's go.
Yeah! [Danger! Swimming is prohibited!.]
Oh? An alien hunt? Huh? Someone actually showed up? Really? This will be a big help! Summer time is the busiest season, you know, and we're not getting any customers because of the alien! We're really in trouble.
Um Is that you who posted the bounty? Right.
That's me.
But I didn't expect anyone to come.
I was kind of joking about it over drinks.
So I never thought somebody would actually come.
Joking over drinks?! Hey, we're serious about making money for a living.
A man's gotta put his life on the line even when he's joking- and we're gonna make sure you keep your end of the deal.
Hey, wait! Calm down! Don't worry! I'll pay you.
I have money.
You liar! Your yakisoba noodles are pathetic.
There's no way a guy like you has any money.
I bet your life must be one big fried noodle.
That's right, go ahead and say it - noodle! Noodle! Hey! You can't just eat! You have to pay for it! Listen, I'm a man of the sea.
It's true I don't have any money, but I can give you something just as valuable! Hmm Then I need to see it first.
We'll get rid of the alien after that.
Right! [Beach Samurai.]
Cool shirt, Gin-san.
Right.
If I'd worn this as a teenager, it may have been enough to push my mother to domestic violence.
That shirt is rare and not for sale.
Only my staff can wear it.
Now you are all fellow men of the sea! So release me now! Men of sea don't do this kind of thing! Gin-san, what are we going to do now? Well We've got no choice but to do it.
We have to do what? You've got a deserted beach, one alien, .
.
and three beach samurai.
Who'll protect the beach if we don't? When you're down, how do you pick yourself up? People fall into two categoriesdepending on how they pick themselves up.
The first kind of person comforts himself by seeing somebody who's worse off and thinking, "Hey, at least I'm better off than that guy.
" And the second kind of person sees a challenge and tries to raise himself to it.
I belong to the second group.
Since the olden days, whenever I've gotten into trouble, I always come to the ocean.
Helps me realize how tiny I am.
By the way, I met my first wife, Hatsu, at the ocean.
What I'm trying to say is, it's like the sea is my textbook and teacher.
Everyone has some place in their heart they can fall back on when they need to.
Even if I drift from job to job, my heart is always here.
And those jobs are the ways I define myself.
Money doesn't matter.
I believe that this job is my calling.
Do you understand my feelings? Huh? Is that right, sister? I reached a settlement with the community association.
If we get rid of the alien, they'll give us something in return.
Hey, please listen to me Then we gotta be fired up! M-My feelings Let's go.
Right! But why do I have to do this? Did I do something wrong? I was just cooking fried noodles! Give me a break! My legs are wrinkly.
Please help! I can't catch a thing.
I wonder if it's not in the sea anymore I don't think so.
I have a feeling the alien is still in the sea.
I can feel it.
This alien is prepared to fight us.
A fight between men.
Breathtaking offense and defense.
And It's about man's romance with the sea! The alien must be waiting for just the right time! You understand how I feel Miss, do you understand my feelings? Yes, I do.
Oh, thank you, Miss Would you like to have one? I made this omelet this morning.
Um You can't fight if you're hungry.
How about another one? UmI've had enough Miss, do you understand how I feel? I wish I could swim like them.
I see You're sensitive to the sun, so you can't go swimming.
But it's best you not be out there.
Don't be shy.
The alien might appear.
Are they all right? Oh, well.
If they can't listen to a guy's story then they deserve to die.
Must be nice to swim.
Miss? What are you going to do? Where did you find that? Don't want to watch someone else be happy.
I want to just end their happiness.
Everyone! Run away! This girl is crazy! She's really weird! Shoot! It's a double punch! Hey, run away, everybody! Double punch! Two dangers approach you! What?! Double pants? Did he forget his trunks, maybe? Behind you! Shimura, behind you! Miss, you'd better wait a bit.
What? It's here! Seriously! Likeright here! Agh! I can't make this thing go any faster! Wait, Shinpachi! How come you can swim so fast?! It's not like you! You're the character who can't do anything right except set up my jokes, right? Ow! My eyes are gonna pop out, my eyes are gonna pop out! You bastards! You made a big mess.
I'll teach you to fear a man of the sea! Uohhh! It's coming! They teamed up somehow! Gin-chan! Shinpachi! Kagura-chan! Hit them back with that rock.
All right.
Miss, wait, wait, wait! I'm on it! I agree you should throw this rock, but not when I'm on it There! Oh? Hey, that Whoops.
Hey, is everyone all right? Eat me if you want.
I wouldn't mind traveling around the sea inside your stomach.
You That's the story.
I think he understood how much I loved the sea.
It's not about the mind, though.
A manspeaks with his soul.
His appearance was frightening, but I guess he just wanted to have some fun with us.
I can tell.
Because only good people can live in the sea.
While you soak in the sea, it washes away all the dirt and scum.
scum It looks like the scum stayed on the beach.
[Big Hit! Marine Fun Park: Come Play with a Monster!.]
Whatever.
[Preview.]
There's a ghost in the Shinsengumi headquarters? Don't be silly! There's no such thing in this world Agh! It does exist! Help me! The next episode: "Watch Out for Conveyor Belts!" Conveyor Belts--! [Who is this red kimono-wearing ghost that appears in the Shinsengumi headquarters every night?.]
[Another exciting episode of Gintama coming up next! Get excited!!.]
Should I wear a different kimono every once in a while?
Tell us, Ginpachi Sensei.
[Question & Answers - Ginpachi Sakata.]
Well, this question is from someone pen-named, "Go to hell, Onishi-san.
" Gin-san always wears the same kimono.
Does he only have one outfit? The answer is In fact, he has four of the same kimonos, and he washes and wears them in turns.
What? Why does he have four of the same kimono? You know Because it's confusing if the main character changes his costume a lot.
Lupin the 3rd always wears the same jacket, you know.
Besides, in anime, if the costume is different every episode, you need to draw up a new setting and stuff! It's a pain in the ass! So, Onishi, go stand in the hallway! [And so we decided to go full out and change their looks for this episode.
.]
[Please enjoy the summer fashion for the Odd Jobs family.
.]
[Pachinko Jumbo.]
Stop crying I'm not going to come over there! Come over here quickly! Hey.
Ohyeah You're here, too.
What's the matter with you? You're sweating like a pig.
Did you lose? No.
It's hot today.
You're sweating pretty badly, too.
Did you lose? Hot! It's hot today! Hey, sun! Take a paid day off, idiot! I see.
I thought I had cold sweats.
["Why is the Sea So Salty? Because You City Folk Pee Whenever You Go Swimming!".]
Looks like a guy never comes to any good trying to get rich quick, eh? Money earned through your own sweat just naturally stays in your hands longer.
If I had stopped right there I could've won.
Why didn't I stop at that point? Are you listening to me? I used to be a hopeful kid with a lot of dreams.
How would that kid feel if he saw me now? A grown-up snarfing an ice pop he bought with money he scrounged off the street.
If only I had stopped then I could be having all-you-can-eat parfaits right now If only I had stopped then Are you listening to me? Oh, Hasagawa-san.
Have you heard of any easy money-making opportunities around? Because of the recession, everyone is eating ice pops for all three meals.
I can't eat ice cream three times a day.
I prefer having a snack bar for lunch.
Hey, stop Come on! You said you were going to take me to the beach.
Sounds good.
I want to go to the beach.
I already bought my swimsuit.
Sounds good.
A bikini sounds really good! Idiot.
If we go to the beach right now, we can't swim.
I heard that some mysterious space creature might appear.
I don't know if it's a man-eating shark, squid or octopus, but it's dangerous and people can't swim at the beach.
So they've posted a bounty on the monster.
Oh, no! How scary! This summer we'll do some pole-and-line fishing for the alien! What? Who are these people? [Kabukicho Station.]
So, you guys, let's go for it! Yeah! We're not going there for fun! We're going to fight! We're about to ride the wild waves You guys look like you're going to a picnic! You're allowed to buy snacks totaling 300 yen.
Do you understand?! Captain! You can buy 400 Tasty sticks.
Really?! I can buy that many? Kagura-chan, your calculation isn't quite right.
And Hasegawa-san, this is not the time to act surprised! Shin-chan, don't you need to point out Gin-san's outfit? Shut up.
I didn't expect anything like that.
By the way, what are you doing here? I heard you're going to the beach, right? Don't make me say that again.
We're going to work! I heard you're going to the beach, right? Not again Hey, Gin-san, holding nonsensical conversations won't do us any good.
Let's just go to the beach.
I hope nobody will beat us there.
What?! We don't have a car? Gin-chan! Where's the money for it? What?! It took me all night to make a music tape.
[My Best.]
How old are you? It's not like you're going on your first date or getting your first driver's license in your 30s.
Cassette tape players aren't built in cars anymore.
I worked really hard to make "My Best" tape.
We don't have time.
Let's go.
Gin-san! A ticket, a ticket! We can't even afford to buy a train ticket.
Can't you understand? Then how can we? Ride stealing, ride stealing.
We have to cheat on the train fare, uh-huh.
But that's a crime! How about buying discount fares at least? We have no choice.
We'll take a taxi Hey, hey! This man changes his mind in the same breath! How about that? Let's take that for now.
It's impossible.
We can't even get probation.
I don't know what to do.
Oh, well.
You guys are really high-maintenance.
You should be thankful someone like me has common sense.
It can't be You You have money? Don't worry.
My budget is still strapped.
So let's find out how we can get to the beach on the cheap.
You sounded like you had some sort of great idea, but you're suggesting we hitchhike? I know that! You can stop a car with a sexy wink, right? All right! My thighs will shoot them down.
Stop it, Hasegawa-san.
No cars will stop for your hairy legs.
I have no choice First, put both hands on your head and suck in your stomach then stoop forward to show off your ample cleavage Go! Here we go Can you turn up the air conditioner? Thank you.
We're so lucky that we happened to be going the same way.
Hey, can you play my tape? Ow! Kagura-chan, you're hurting me! Don't move! Your knee is pushing into my cut.
Hey, don't you think we should be treated a little better since we stopped the car with our lives? It's hot! Hot and stinky! You put in too much pomade! Play "My Best" now! Why can't you sit in the front seat, Sister? Hey, driver, can you make it any cooler? Don't worry about the small stuff, Shin-chan.
It stinks! I can't breathe! Whoa! Warm liquid! Sadaharu, was that your pee? It stinks! O-Open the window! "My Best"! Air conditioner! Warm liquid is on my leg! Oh, my goodness Man, what a useless car.
So true! I can't believe there's a car that can't play a cassette tape these days! That's crap! That's not true.
I made a big effort to get a taxi, but you were all too excited You sound like you stopped the car.
Ah.
We still haven't arrived at the beach.
I feel like we've at least made it 200 kilometers.
Stop complaining and keep walking.
Just to let you know, we haven't even walked three kilometers yet.
Give me some water There's some water in the barrel attached to Sadaharu's neck.
Th-This is Oh, yeah.
Raw water isn't healthy, so I made something like this.
I can't drink it G-Give me water Why are you talking like a boxer who's begging for a drink of water but needs to make his weight? When it's hot, it doesn't do any good to say how hot it is, right? That's right.
If he can speak out like that, he's fine.
But if he can't speak clearly You're awesome, Hasegawa-san.
It reminds me of what the president of some company said: "A man should lean forward even when falling down.
" Burning asphalt It smells like those cheeks are burning.
I'm really hot! Please help me! Seriously, my cheeks are hot and it smells like something's burning.
I can't move anymore Are you listening to me? Oh, there's the beach! Guys, let's go.
Yeah! [Danger! Swimming is prohibited!.]
Oh? An alien hunt? Huh? Someone actually showed up? Really? This will be a big help! Summer time is the busiest season, you know, and we're not getting any customers because of the alien! We're really in trouble.
Um Is that you who posted the bounty? Right.
That's me.
But I didn't expect anyone to come.
I was kind of joking about it over drinks.
So I never thought somebody would actually come.
Joking over drinks?! Hey, we're serious about making money for a living.
A man's gotta put his life on the line even when he's joking- and we're gonna make sure you keep your end of the deal.
Hey, wait! Calm down! Don't worry! I'll pay you.
I have money.
You liar! Your yakisoba noodles are pathetic.
There's no way a guy like you has any money.
I bet your life must be one big fried noodle.
That's right, go ahead and say it - noodle! Noodle! Hey! You can't just eat! You have to pay for it! Listen, I'm a man of the sea.
It's true I don't have any money, but I can give you something just as valuable! Hmm Then I need to see it first.
We'll get rid of the alien after that.
Right! [Beach Samurai.]
Cool shirt, Gin-san.
Right.
If I'd worn this as a teenager, it may have been enough to push my mother to domestic violence.
That shirt is rare and not for sale.
Only my staff can wear it.
Now you are all fellow men of the sea! So release me now! Men of sea don't do this kind of thing! Gin-san, what are we going to do now? Well We've got no choice but to do it.
We have to do what? You've got a deserted beach, one alien, .
.
and three beach samurai.
Who'll protect the beach if we don't? When you're down, how do you pick yourself up? People fall into two categoriesdepending on how they pick themselves up.
The first kind of person comforts himself by seeing somebody who's worse off and thinking, "Hey, at least I'm better off than that guy.
" And the second kind of person sees a challenge and tries to raise himself to it.
I belong to the second group.
Since the olden days, whenever I've gotten into trouble, I always come to the ocean.
Helps me realize how tiny I am.
By the way, I met my first wife, Hatsu, at the ocean.
What I'm trying to say is, it's like the sea is my textbook and teacher.
Everyone has some place in their heart they can fall back on when they need to.
Even if I drift from job to job, my heart is always here.
And those jobs are the ways I define myself.
Money doesn't matter.
I believe that this job is my calling.
Do you understand my feelings? Huh? Is that right, sister? I reached a settlement with the community association.
If we get rid of the alien, they'll give us something in return.
Hey, please listen to me Then we gotta be fired up! M-My feelings Let's go.
Right! But why do I have to do this? Did I do something wrong? I was just cooking fried noodles! Give me a break! My legs are wrinkly.
Please help! I can't catch a thing.
I wonder if it's not in the sea anymore I don't think so.
I have a feeling the alien is still in the sea.
I can feel it.
This alien is prepared to fight us.
A fight between men.
Breathtaking offense and defense.
And It's about man's romance with the sea! The alien must be waiting for just the right time! You understand how I feel Miss, do you understand my feelings? Yes, I do.
Oh, thank you, Miss Would you like to have one? I made this omelet this morning.
Um You can't fight if you're hungry.
How about another one? UmI've had enough Miss, do you understand how I feel? I wish I could swim like them.
I see You're sensitive to the sun, so you can't go swimming.
But it's best you not be out there.
Don't be shy.
The alien might appear.
Are they all right? Oh, well.
If they can't listen to a guy's story then they deserve to die.
Must be nice to swim.
Miss? What are you going to do? Where did you find that? Don't want to watch someone else be happy.
I want to just end their happiness.
Everyone! Run away! This girl is crazy! She's really weird! Shoot! It's a double punch! Hey, run away, everybody! Double punch! Two dangers approach you! What?! Double pants? Did he forget his trunks, maybe? Behind you! Shimura, behind you! Miss, you'd better wait a bit.
What? It's here! Seriously! Likeright here! Agh! I can't make this thing go any faster! Wait, Shinpachi! How come you can swim so fast?! It's not like you! You're the character who can't do anything right except set up my jokes, right? Ow! My eyes are gonna pop out, my eyes are gonna pop out! You bastards! You made a big mess.
I'll teach you to fear a man of the sea! Uohhh! It's coming! They teamed up somehow! Gin-chan! Shinpachi! Kagura-chan! Hit them back with that rock.
All right.
Miss, wait, wait, wait! I'm on it! I agree you should throw this rock, but not when I'm on it There! Oh? Hey, that Whoops.
Hey, is everyone all right? Eat me if you want.
I wouldn't mind traveling around the sea inside your stomach.
You That's the story.
I think he understood how much I loved the sea.
It's not about the mind, though.
A manspeaks with his soul.
His appearance was frightening, but I guess he just wanted to have some fun with us.
I can tell.
Because only good people can live in the sea.
While you soak in the sea, it washes away all the dirt and scum.
scum It looks like the scum stayed on the beach.
[Big Hit! Marine Fun Park: Come Play with a Monster!.]
Whatever.
[Preview.]
There's a ghost in the Shinsengumi headquarters? Don't be silly! There's no such thing in this world Agh! It does exist! Help me! The next episode: "Watch Out for Conveyor Belts!" Conveyor Belts--! [Who is this red kimono-wearing ghost that appears in the Shinsengumi headquarters every night?.]
[Another exciting episode of Gintama coming up next! Get excited!!.]
Should I wear a different kimono every once in a while?