Harvey Beaks (2015) s01e19 Episode Script

1 Harvey Harvey Harvey This world is seething with crime and corruption, and we are its angels of mercy! Junior Deputies, take it in with all its twisted majesty.
Oh, wow, a rainbow.
What a delight.
On our patrols, it is our duty to help those in need and stop bad guys from breaking the law.
Harvey and I wanna know, when do we get our own Ba-Zappers? You're not getting a laser, Dade.
Hey, Harvey.
- It's just us.
- You two are kooky.
Nice body-napkin.
So what? You're one of those Junior Squealers now? Oh, Fee, we're called Junior Deputies, not Junior Squealers.
Deputies! A citizen in need! Don't worry.
Help is on the way.
Help! Help! My kite's stuck in a tree.
Don't worry, innocent youth, we have the situation under control.
Got it.
Here you go, Citizen Pip.
Wow, you're my heroes.
Good job, Deputies! We've won this battle.
Hey, guys, look over there.
The library has a giant mustache.
Ah! Over there too! Ira Fingerman has a mustache.
Hey, there's even one on Moff's mailbox.
Vandalism.
Everybody back.
This is a crime scene.
But these mustaches are so harmless.
Harmless? Defacing property is a serious offense.
Oh, wow.
It's written on parchment.
- This is serious.
- Now, now, don't mind, officers.
I've been away for two days.
I just want to check the mail.
Oh, it's still empty.
Carry on! All right, Deputies.
We have a criminal at large.
We're looking for a real pro, - someone with a history of mischief.
- Fee! Based on the dirty footprints, the perp is someone this tall.
Hey, guys, check out this weird paint I found behind Moff's place.
It grows plants when you smear it on stuff.
Fee, we don't have time for this.
We're in the middle of an investigation.
The culprit has a crude yet whimsical hand.
Be on the lookout for anyone with a large brush.
Hey, Fee.
Officer Fredd, who could've done this? I don't know, but whoever they are, they're in big trouble.
Uh, maybe we can just give them a warning? It's such a small crime.
Oh, Harvey.
It is the small crimes that are the most insidious.
It's called a gateway crime.
It'll lead to bigger crimes and bigger crimes, - and eventually - Oh, no.
All right, split into pairs, and find this criminal.
Harvey and I will team up.
We got this.
Whoever's doing these mustaches is a real sicko.
Yeah, when we find them, we're gonna put him away for good.
Uh, Dade, can I talk to you about something? Let's say you know someone who's in trouble, but they're your friend Harvey, no matter what you've done, you know I've always got your back, buddy.
- No, Dade, I didn't leave the must - And even if my back is turned, I'm still looking out for you.
I think Fee's drawing the mustaches.
What?! Quick, you gotta tell Officer Fredd.
- No! - But, Harvey, oh, why? - You're not making sense.
- Fee's my friend.
She needs someone to show her that what she's doing is wrong.
I'd do the same for you.
Will you help me, please? Ugh, all right.
What's your plan? "I'm a big, dumb mountain.
" - I'm funny.
- Oh, uh, hey there, Fee.
- Oh, hey, Harvey.
- Yeah, right on.
I've, uh, seen a lot of these mustaches around town.
Whoever's doing them is gonna be in pretty big trouble.
Why are you talking like an old person? So, uh, I heard there's, like, a play going on or something around here.
You wanna check it out? Ugh, is this a Junior Squealers thing? Where's everyone else? Oh, whoa, whoa, I think it's starting.
I'm vandalizing property, and I don't care how it affects my life.
Oh, no, I'm getting arrested, and now I'm in jail.
- Oh, no! Why? - Hmm.
Gasp, who's there? Hardened criminals.
Society just pushed me, and then I snapped.
- Now I'm a psycho! - And I have an evil eye patch.
I eat stickers.
You like that? Ugh! Wow, pretty scary, huh? And eye-opening.
- You did the crime.
- Now serve the time.
Serve the time? How much time? Forever and ever.
We ruined our lives, and now we're trapped forever So remember, don't break the law, or else you'll ruin your life.
Forever So, um, what'd you think of the message there? Wow, that was hilarious! Thanks, Fee.
No, Claire, it's not supposed to be funny.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Guys, guys, guys.
What was this? What was this move? It's a dance! But didn't the play teach you anything about the law? Um, yeah.
It taught me if I'm gonna get in trouble and locked up for life, I better make it count and go down in a blaze of glory.
Hey, I gotta run.
I suddenly feel inspired.
Wait, that's not the lesson! Well, that was fun, but we better get back to patrolling.
Yeah, the mustache marauder is still out there.
Harvey, it didn't work, and we gave it our all up here.
Uh, I can't get through to her, but maybe I can still keep her from getting busted.
Freeze! The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime.
Harvey, you're the one drawing these? - Wait, this isn't what it looks like! - Lies! Betrayal! - This calls for double ba-zaps.
- Wait, Officer Fredd.
Harvey is innocent.
It's Fee.
- She's been drawing all the mustaches.
- Dade! You knew Fee was behind this, and you hid it from us? Yeah, I was just trying to save her from going down the wrong path.
Your judgment has been compromised.
Hand over your deputy sash.
- Harvey, no.
- Aw, he's right.
I don't deserve to wear this.
Junior Deputies, let's roll out.
- We have to catch that girl.
- Uh, I'm so sorry.
Ugh, what have I done? Ah, maybe the mail has arrived and Oh, okay, still no mail, all right.
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry the Junior Deputy thing didn't work out.
And, you know, I get where Fee is coming from.
I've had my run-ins with the law.
It can be addictive.
I tried to be a good friend and a good Junior Deputy, and I failed at both.
You know, as long as you follow your heart, you're never a failure.
My heart's telling me that I can still save my friends.
Then you get out there, sweetie.
- Thanks, Mom.
- I'm a good mom.
Okay, if I were a fugitive on the run, where would I be Oh, there they are! Hey, Harvey.
Dude, you're just in time for something huge.
I'm gonna paint a mustache on that mountain.
- And I'm gonna help.
- This will be my legacy.
For eons to come, people will stare in awe and whisper Uh, I think that mountain has a mustache.
Anyway, you should come.
It'll be so fun.
Guys, you need to stop this.
Turn yourselves in before it's too Too late! We have you surrounded.
Harvey, look, Officer Fredd gave us all lasers.
Ba-zap, ba-zap! Ba-zap! Ba-zap! Ba-zap! I think mine's broke.
Ouch.
Harvey, good job leading us right to them.
Welcome back to the force.
Oh, no.
What have I done? You'll never take us alive! After them! - A-whoo! - Come on! Oh, that's too far.
Ba-zap! Oh, that's poison sumac.
If I touch it, my rash will come back.
Harvey, I'm sorry! A-bazap! - Ah! My brush.
- You go! I'll stall them.
A-ya-ya-ya-ya! Fee, stop.
I'm trying to help you.
If you want to help, then grab one of these brushes.
I can't.
It's against the law.
It's not worth it, Fee.
I'm almost there.
Ever since two days ago, it's been my lifelong dream to draw a mustache on this mountain.
If you want to stand in my way like everybody else, that's fine.
I just thought you'd be on my side.
I-I am on your side.
I'm doing this with or without you.
Mm, uh Only two more rungs.
I love counting rungs on ladders.
Mm, I'm sorry! - What? Harvey? - Let's do this.
- Whoa.
- They did it! We're gonna be in so much trouble.
Yeah, but it was worth it.
Double ba-zap! That's it.
I'm punishing both of you to the fullest extent of the law.
All right, your ten minutes are up.
You're free to go.
I hope you two learned a lesson from all this.
Oh, I sure did.
I learned that - Let's go smash stuff! - Okay! Yeah!