iCarly s01e19 Episode Script

No laughing! I hate children! Freddie, you know this school has a strict rule Against turning your locker into a time machine.
It's a surveillance system.
For? Someone snuck into my locker yesterday and stole My fruit-scented markers.
So the next time someone breaks in, It'll trigger this mechanism Which causes this camera to snap A picture of the thief,so I'll know that you took my markers .
Sorry.
I forgot to tell you.
How'd you pick my lock? Sam.
Of course.
hey, where's the tangerine one? I'm not sure.
Hmm.
So what did you need the markers for? To make that poster.
Oh, yeah.
iCarly Cool.
spreading the word.
And the smell of fruits.
There.
it's up.
Can you believe we're about to shoot Our 50th webcast of iCarly? Insane.
We gotta make it, like, our best show ever.
No doubt.
Hey, Jack, go long.
Okay.
Oh, my god.
iCarly's having a 50th web show spectacular? Yeah! In 5, 4, 3, 2 I know you see somehow the world will change For me and be so wonderful, Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we're gonna get there, and feel so wonderful, It's all for real, i'm telling you just how i feel, So wake up, the members of my nation, It's your time to be, There's no chance unless you take one, and it's time to see The brighter side of every situation Some things are meant to be, so give your best And leave the rest to me, Leave it all to me, Leave it all to me, Just leave it all to me.
iCarlyS01E19 iGot detention This girl is a menace.
I want her expelled.
What? I want her expelled.
What? He wants me expelled.
Mr.
howard, come on.
I realize it was wrong of Sam to throw a football in the hallway.
She almost killed me! Yeah, almost.
I want something done about this.
I understand, sort of.
Sam, you did break the rules, So i'm going to give you detention with Mr.
howard tomorrow night.
Fine.
I'll be there tomorrow-- Wait, I can't do it tomorrow night.
Why not? I do a web show.
Yes.
iCarly.
iCarly? Yeah.
tomorrow night's our 50th webcast and it's gonna Be, like, a big thing, you know? Mr.
franklin, some ninth grade boys are giving Gibby a texas wedgie.
A texas wedgie? All right.
meet me there With a bag of ice and a bottle of lotion.
Mr.
howard, you finish up here.
Wait.
just don't go-- You know, I think you look better with that thing on your face.
Be quiet.
Okay, but can i please do detention next week? What, you think just because you're on a popular Web show that you deserve some special treatment? Yeah.
Well, tough kumquats.
Tough what? Ow! kumquats! Kumquats? Why'd you have to get detention tomorrow night? Yeah, way to go,sam.
You just ruined icarly's 50th web show spectac-- Ooh,popcorn.
I read popcorn's one of the healthiest snacks you can eat.
I read that, too.
Whoa, whoa.
what is that? Two cups of melted butter.
Don't pour that all over the popcorn.
It's full of fat and calories.
Okay.
Don't drink it.
Why don't you just go talk to Mr.
Howard and Explain that it's icarly's 50-- Tried that.
didn't work.
hey, what if we kidnap Howard and keep him tied up till after the show? Okay, what have I told you about kidnapping? It's illegal and rude.
Good girl.
I'm home.
Where have you been? Down at the golf course getting golf balls out of the big pond What for? So i can sell 'em and Buy art supplies for my next sculpture.
What are you making? A gigantic coffee cup, like 10 feet tall.
Why? To symbolize the largeness of some coffee cups.
They're big.
I'm gonna take a shower.
Have fun.
So what do we do about iCarly? We gotta figure a way to get sam out of detention.
Not gonna happen.
Mr.
Howard hates my guts.
Maybe me and carly Need to figure out a way to get Into detention.
Hey! What? iCarly live from detention.
Interesting.
You're serious? Sure.
You and I do Something bad, we get detention, Then the three of us will be together to do the show.
How can we do the show with mr.
Howard watching us the whole time? He hardly ever comes In the room.
He always hangs In the teacher's lounge so he Can watch the geometry channel.
He's such a nub.
The nubbiest.
Okay, let's do it.
Awesome.
So tomorrow Before school ends, you and I have to get detention.
Yep.
You'll never guess where I found this fish.
Hey.
Hello, Sam.
Why do you look all guilty? I did something Bad to get detention.
What did you do? You'll see.
All right, class, everyone please sit.
Hey, Gibby, go ask Mr.
Palladino to staple those together.
What for? Just do it! Go! Hey, mr.
Palladino, can you staple these papers together? Certainly, Gibby.
That's odd.
I don't see the stapler anywhere.
I have it.
Wow.
You are a maniac.
I'm sorry, Gibby.
I can't find the stapler.
That's right, cause I took it.
Ah, yes.
Thank you, freddie.
There you are, gibby.
Here.
Keep them.
All right, kids.
The sooner we start, the sooner we finish.
So everybody, let's take your seats.
Aah! What happened to my chair? I did it with whatever this is.
Do I get detention? Absolutely not.
An on-the-job accident means the school has to give me a two Month paid vacation while I recover.
Bye! Dude, this is the principal's office.
I know.
I'm so bad.
Look what I did.
Freddie says principal Franklin sucks eggs.
Impressive.
That might get you double detention.
Yep.
When Principal Franklin sees that, You better believe he's gonna-- Come on, Carly.
It's for the 50th web show spectacular.
You can do this.
Who pulled that fire alarm? It was me.
Thank goodness you did.
The microwave in the teacher's lounge just burst into flames.
Out of the way! Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible.
I gotta give you credit, Sam.
You make it look easy.
Years of practice.
Hey, thanks for that fire alarm.
You saved me from giving an oral report on scarlett's web.
You were too lazy to read the book? I was too lazy to see the movie.
Now what? We're supposed to do the 50th webcast OF iCarly from detention in five hours and sam's the only One that's gonna be there.
Why is it so hard to get detention? Who slammed that locker? Me.
Detention! Really? Tonight! Yay! Yay? Darn.
You did it.
Yeah, but we still need our tech producer and School's over in three minutes.
How am I gonna get detention in three minutes? You better, or else no show tonight.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Wait here.
I don't mind stopping by crusty creme.
I-- You heard I got the new pear Phone.
Yep, these babies are indestructible.
Hello, honey.
I'm back.
Yes, I will pick up the donuts.
Mm-hmm.
Man, school's over.
And you didn't get detention.
Which means no iCarly 50th Web show Spectacular.
It couldn't be worse.
Yes, it could.
How? We could be gibby.
They gave me another Texas wedgie.
Man, when spencer said he was building a gigantic cup Of coffee, he wasn't kidding around.
Where is spencer? Hey, spencer! I'm here.
Is that thing filled With coffee? Just about 500 Gallons.
Spencer, that's crazy.
It's okay.
It's Decaf.
Okay, but why are you In there? Cause after I Filled it with coffee, I dropped My cell phone in here.
Been Trying to find it for the past Two hours.
Wish me luck.
I figured out a way for us to do the iCarly tonight.
Is that a 10 foot Tall coffee cup? I'm not even gonna ask.
Just tell us how We're gonna do the show tonight.
All right.
Is There a closet in the classroom? Yeah.
You guys can hide My tech equipment in there so Mr.
Howard won't see it.
But what about you? You can't be in there Unless you have detention.
You said he's Almost never in the room 'cause He's watching the geometry Channel in the teacher's lounge, Right? Yeah.
So as soon as he Checks roll and leaves, you guys Give me a signal and I'll sneak In the window.
But the classroom's On the second floor.
You can borrow my Ladder.
Awesome.
Did I hear you say you got detention? Should I be concerned? Not really.
Later.
now, you are all here because you are the worst This school has to offer.
I am here because I believe in Punishment and discipline and I Hate you all.
All right.
I Will be down the hall in the teacher's lounge watching the Geometry channel.
While I am gone, there is to be no talking.
I hope you have a terrible time.
We're good now for at Least 10 minutes.
Let's go.
Okay, everybody.
We're about to start the 50th webcast of iCarly.
You guys into it? Who wants to be the lookout in case Mr.
Howard came back? I'll do it.
Go signal Freddie.
Right.
Ca-caw.
Ca-caw.
Ca-caw.
Do it like a bird.
Ca-caw.
Carly, what's the Signal for Mr.
Howard's coming? Dippity-doo.
Dippity-doo.
Everybody sit down.
Pull me in! --Too late.
Don't--aww.
I heard noise.
What's going on? Nothing.
We're just sitting Here having a terrible time.
Good.
Just sit here And don't move.
I'll get the stuff out Of the closet.
I'll get Freddie.
Ca-caw.
Ca-caw.
Here.
You wear the Cap-cam.
Why? There's a camera in It.
If jerk-face comes back, Freddie hides in the closet and And we switch out carly to the Hidden camera in your hat.
Cool.
I fell on a shrub.
Coast clear? All clear.
Then we are live On the web in 5, 4, 3, 2 Why did we scream? Because It's iCarly'S 50th web show spectacular.
It's true.
This is the 50th webcast of iCarly.
And it is Spectacular.
Spectacular.
I'm Carly And I'm Sam And maybe you've noticed This isn't our usual iCarly Studio.
And if you haven't Noticed Scrape that crud out Of your eyes.
We're webcasting to You live from our school.
Room 29 Because we got Tell 'em why we got Detention.
'cause we're Naughty.
Dippity-doo! You just heard our Friend Claire yell dippity-doo.
Which means that our Horrible teacher Mr.
Howard is Coming.
I gotta hide.
Freddie's gonna hide in the closet.
And we're switching To the cap-cam in our friend Billy's hat.
Switching to the Cap-cam.
I have ears like a Hawk.
I distinctly heard laughter and I hate laughter.
I thought you hated Your wife.
Her, too.
Now keep your mouths shut.
Isn't he charming? Freddie, let's go.
Switching back to the main cam.
We were talking About the things kids do that Get 'em detention.
Why, look.
Here's a Gold member of the detention Club right here.
It's ninth grader rip off rodney.
Please call me rip off.
So how'd you get detention? I was selling fake hall passes.
Nice.
And how'd you get caught? I, uhI misspelled "Hall.
" Two Ls.
Yeah.
Okay, so you got anything else to say to the iCarly fans of the world? Yeah.
I got a special this week on burritos.
Two for six bucks.
And do they contain quality meat? No, they do not.
And now continuing with out game of hangman J.
D.
, it's your turn to guess a letter or solve the Puzzle.
All right, is it Mr.
Howard eats pants? Correct! He certainly does.
Okay.
H-o-t-- Dippity-doo! Everybody hide! Switching to the Cap-cam.
Uh-huh.
Everybody's so innocent.
Do I smell burritos? I have a feeling Who wrote this? Who wrote this lie? Never in my entire life have I eaten one pair of pants.
Somebody gonna confess, or do you all wanna do 200 push-ups? Principal Franklin says teacher can't give physical Punishment in detention.
Principal franklin.
If you ask me, he's not even fit To be in charge of this school.
He's weak.
Spineless.
Well, I think I'm just gonna sit Here and stare at you gutter Children until detention is Over.
And I think I'll add an extra two hours.
Just hang on.
Freddie has a way to get rid of Mr.
Howard.
Hey, no talking to That boy's hat.
Wesley, now.
Check.
What in tarnation? What is that? Stay here and say nothing.
Switching back to the main cam.
Okay, now that dippity-doo done gone Next on iCarly.
Live from detention Turtle races! Come on, give him a Kiss.
Hey! You there! Who are you? Stop, you hooligan! Remove your sack.
Yoo-ie, yoo-ie, We gotta go.
Who says slow can't be exciting? You can only get this stuff at iCarly.
com, baby.
Ha! A video camera? Turtles? Burritos? What is going on in Here? The iCarly 50th Web show spectacular? You're all really in trouble now.
I am talking suspension.
I am talking expulsion.
Deportation.
And you can all start with 500 push-ups.
I don't care what Principal Franklin has to say about it.
You don't? No! I--oh, dear.
Principal Franklin.
What are you doing here? Well, I was at home, watching the iCarly 50th Web show spectacular.
Congratulations, by the way.
My Kids and I love your show.
Wow.
Awesome.
While I was watching, I heard Mr.
Howard Call me a weak, spineless fool.
No, no, no! I Saiduh, sweet.
Stylish.
Cool.
In my office.
But I-- Now.
Why does everything always happen to me? So now what? Well, I suppose Mr.
Howard has tortured you all Enough.
Go home.
Okay, we're just About done.
I'm Sam I'm Carly And I'm Ted.
And thanks for watching the iCarly 50th web show spectacular.
May I? Second button from the bottom.
It's iCarly's 50th webshow spectacular.
Bye! Keep visiting iCarly.
com.
Don't forget it.
And we're clear.
Yeah! Whoo! How fun is this? It's like a java cruisee.
Who wants more coffee? I do! This isn't weird at all.