Lost In Space (1965) s01e19 Episode Script
Ghost in Space
[ Man Narrating .]
Last week, as you recall, we left Professor Robinson working by a mysterious, ghostly swamp out of which was soon to come the most terrifying challenge ever to confront our space family.
Put it over there, dear boy.
Doesn't take that long to post a sign, does it? Professor Robinson is a reflective man who likes to take his time.
And the more time he takes the less work for you, right, Smith? Major, I have told you before that I suffer from a very delicate back.
- [ Gasps .]
- [ Scoffs .]
I'll go see what's keeping him.
Dad! Don, come here, hurry! - [ Coughing .]
- Will, get back to the Chariot! John! [ Coughing .]
John! - [ Coughing .]
- John.
Dad, are you all right? I'll be all right.
Looks like I forgot to read that sign.
Thanks.
Now let's get back to the drill site.
This is taking a lot longer than I thought.
And your efforts may be completely wasted.
- We'll be the judge of that, Smith.
- Very well.
But don't say I didn't warn you.
Geologically speaking deutronium ore cannot exist in the presence of inorganic terrain.
Now, Dr.
Smith, since you seem to be the expert around here why don't you take this up to drill site five and do some blasting? It'll save us a lot of time if there's nothing up there.
Now, the hole's prepared.
All you do is insert it pull the pin and get out of there, all right? - It's quite futile.
I assure you.
- Do it anyway.
- If you insist.
- I'll go with you if you'd like, Dr.
Smith.
- It's quite unnecessary, my boy.
- But I'm not doing much of anything around here.
- Maybe I can help.
- Sure.
Take Will along.
He knows the way.
Very well.
Lead on.
I know a shortcut to drill site five if you're not scared of going through there.
The bog? After what happened to your father this morning? But there's one place that's safe.
Penny and I found it.
Then Penny and you may delight in your discovery to your hearts' content.
- I want no part of it.
- All right.
Then we take the hard way.
I don't mind the climb if you don't, but it's pretty steep.
Oh, Will? It just occurred to me.
Your father may not know where I stored the spare drill heads.
You'd better go back and tell him that they're under the, uh, the backseat of the Chariot.
- He may need them.
- I'm sure he'll find 'em.
I would go myself, you see but he and Major West are already quite annoyed with me.
I would prefer not to aggravate the situation.
Well, you haven't been very encouraging.
Very true.
But I have always been a man to speak my mind.
Let the chips fall where they may.
Now, you'd better hurry up and give them the message.
I'll rejoin all of you later.
All right.
[ Gasps .]
Oh! [ Rumbling .]
That sounds a little offbeat to me.
I hope he didn't foul it up.
We'll check results tomorrow.
Right now I think we ought to pack up and go home.
He should be back here by the time we're ready to leave.
Then you won't be needing the drill heads? No, son, not today.
[ Thumping .]
- How do I look? - Oh, it's a perfect fit.
I know that, but how do I look? - Just stunning.
- Thank you.
I hope I look like that in mine when it's finished.
- Well, of course you will, dear.
- I don't know.
I keep growing so fast, it'll probably be tight in all the wrong places - before it's ready to wear.
- Does anyone happen to have some scarlet paint? Well, I have some lipstick, but it isn't scarlet.
- No, no, I'm afraid it must be scarlet.
- What do you need it for? For my Ouija board.
What on earth have you got on, miss? Do you like them? They're my new fatigues.
Yours are right there, Dr.
Smith.
I felt that we were all due for a change.
Well, much as I respect you ladies I'm afraid you do not know anything about cutting a man's clothes.
- What's wrong with them? - Look at it.
You've made no allowance for the breadth of my shoulders or the muscular development of my arms.
Let me give you a hint, madam.
Think of the Greek athlete-- the discobolus thrower, for example-- and you'll be much closer to fitting me properly.
Now, then, I must have some scarlet paint.
- Do you know where I can find some? - No.
- Oh, you mean for your-- - My Ouija board.
What is this? - Incredible.
- [ Penny .]
Dr.
Smith? - Yes? - What does a Ouija board do? It enables me to communicate with the timeless and universal spirits of those that came before us.
- One in particular-- my Great Uncle Thaddeus.
- Gosh.
I've been very remiss of late, I'm afraid.
I haven't spoken to Uncle Thaddeus for months.
I think he may be offended.
That's why I decided to make the Ouija board.
- And you're gonna raise him with that, huh, Smith? - I always have.
I don't think there's any such thing as raising spirits.
It's just an old hat superstition.
But Dr.
Smith says he's spoken to him plenty of times.
He's only fooling you, Penny.
His Uncle Thaddeus doesn't even exist.
You're entitled to your own opinion, young man.
But if your sister prefers to adhere to mine, I shall defend to the death - her right to do so.
- All right, all right, all right, all right, Smith.
How about skipping the chivalry and proving it? I can't, not without scarlet paint! Well, there's some red lead in the tool locker.
How about that? Red lead indeed.
A bit dreary and utilitarian but I suppose it'll have to do.
- He's really taking this seriously.
- So am I.
There.
My Aunt Matilda was much better at making Ouija boards than I am.
But she taught me well.
As you can plainly see I haven't altogether forgotten my artistry.
Well, it looks very mysterious to me.
The riddle of the universe is wrapped in mystery, dear lady.
And that thing's gonna solve it for you, right? Not solve it, Major-- permit us to participate in its splendors.
Now, then, I must choose a medium from among you someone with the same sensitive qualities as my Aunt Matilda.
- No.
Ah! - [ Laughing .]
Vital energy, great powers of concentration and a sympathetic heart.
You will do very nicely, Penny.
With your permission, Mrs.
Robinson.
Well, uh, I don't know.
If you think it won't frighten her.
Oh, Mom, I'm not a baby.
It's really no different from a scientific experiment, is it, Dad? Well, science has been interested in psychic phenomena for some years.
And there are some things they haven't been able to explain.
All right, Doctor, go right ahead.
You're too kind.
Come along, Penny.
We'll sit over there.
Let me see.
Yes, this seems to be a quite good place right here.
We place our stools so and we place the board on our knees so, the glass here.
Now, then, place your fingertips lightly on the rim of the glass so.
- And concentrate very deeply.
- On what? [ Chuckling .]
This is no laughing matter, young man.
I can't help it.
It's just so silly.
I see.
And does anyone else think it's silly? Come on, Smith.
You can't expect us to take this for real.
I see, Major.
Come along, Penny.
We must remove ourselves from all adverse influences.
Hey, give my regards to Aunt Matilda, hmm? Philistine! Come along, dear.
You hurt his feelings.
- You could've at least given him the benefit of the doubt.
- Again? You know, when I was a little girl we found a Ouija board up in my grandmother's attic.
The trouble was, nobody knew what to do with it even my grandmother.
I'm afraid it's quite obsolete in the world of computers.
So is Dr.
Smith.
But then again I'm not sure what world he really belongs in.
Come along, dear.
Doubters, such doubters.
Ah, this looks like a very good place, Penny.
Sit down, dear.
And we place the board on our knees, the glass so.
Now, place your fingertips on the rim of the glass.
Yes.
Now, concentrate as hard as you can on this glass.
- All I can do is stare at it.
Is that what you mean? - Precisely.
Stare at it until there is nothing else in your mind - but the glass.
- What's it for? You're supposed to concentrate, missy, not ask questions.
And don't blink your eyes, dear.
Oh, eternal powers of the spirit world Oh, well-loved and well-remembered absent friend and consanguineous kin, dear Uncle Thaddeus give us a sign that we may know you are near.
Speak to us through the medium of our humble artifacts and through the presence of this innocent child whose delicate sensors reach out to you.
You're beginning to feel a presence? I feel shivery.
Good.
That's how it begins.
- Something's happening.
- What is it? It's moving, I think.
[ Scraping .]
[ Ghostly Laughter .]
We are not alone.
They are here with us.
Oh, eternal powers of the spirit world grasp this humble artifact and materialize your presence so that we may recognize you.
[ Gasps .]
[ Gasps .]
Oh ah! - [ Screams .]
- [ Gasping .]
Mom! Please, Dad! What is it, dear? What's the matter? What happened? The scariest thing.
First, the glass, it broke into pieces.
And then the Ouija board, it flew up in the air all by itself, and-- - What? - and zoomed down on a rock - and broke up.
- I'm breaking up too, but in a different way.
All right, Smith.
Now tell us what really happened.
Surely you don't doubt the word of your own child? No.
But it's possible that all she saw was an illusion - created by you.
- Skeptics, skeptics.
There.
Cut by a piece of that flying glass.
Does that convince you? I was afraid Uncle Thaddeus would not like it here.
Are you sure Uncle Thaddeus did that? Indeed, yes.
He was a very powerful man in life always throwing things about when something didn't please him.
Oh, nice as pie on the surface, but very pugnacious underneath.
An iron hand in a velvet glove.
Tonight, he was all iron hand.
I wish I knew how to placate him.
- Ah, come on, now, Smith.
Stop this hanky-panky, huh? - Hanky-panky indeed.
If what you say really happened, there's a scientific explanation for it.
And tomorrow morning, I'm gonna tell you exactly what it is.
Now, I'm going to bed.
Good night.
And I suppose the rest of you agree with him? Come on, children.
It's time for bed.
Good night.
Smith, there may be a scientific explanation for this, and there may not be.
But right now, we've got too many problems to cope with without worrying about your Uncle Thaddeus.
Oh, the pain.
The pain.
Warning! Warning! I want an immediate reading on the object.
[ Robot .]
Composition of object does not compute.
Genetic code indecipherable.
[ John .]
Can you locate its position? Due north by horizontal bearing.
Distance by velocity of light-- - Velocity of light? - Sixty-five meters.
Look! You've offended the spirits with your mockery and lack of faith.
Cut the gibberish, Smith.
This is serious.
Indeed.
You, sir, over here.
- Bring your resources to bear and describe what is out there.
- Invisible.
Indestructible.
Irresistible.
- You can do better than that, you ninny! - Negative.
Computers inadequate for further information.
Well, that's clear enough.
It can only be Uncle Thaddeus on one of his infrequent benders, thanks to you, Major.
- I suppose I'll have to go out and have a little chat with him.
- [ Maureen .]
Oh, Dr.
Smith.
Don't you think he's a little too violent right now? In the teeth of the hurricane in the eye of the gale, in the turbulence of the spirit there is only one way-- face to face.
- Oh, John, I think we should stop him.
- Don't worry about him.
He'll run for his life if anything comes within a mile of him.
Uncle Thaddeus, is that you? I know I never should've summoned you.
I'm very sorry.
It's all their fault.
They don't believe in you.
I've tried my best, but-- Oh, no! [ Screams .]
You children better stay here.
- Oh, Dr.
Smith.
- Oh! Oh! - Is he still there? - There was no one here to begin with.
Just that rock out there.
Must've been something enormously powerful to pick that up and toss it around.
Uncle Thaddeus was a very powerful man.
Oh, dear.
Will you stop this Uncle Thaddeus business? I've had him up to here! Whatever caused all this obviously prefers to work in darkness.
- Spirits always do.
- How do you know that? Good-bye, Uncle Thaddeus.
It couldn't have been something atmospheric, could it? Well, I've seen twisters cut a swath through an area before but they come anytime, and they don't quit at dawn.
- Uh-huh.
- Well, then what could it have been? I have done my best to explain it to you, Mrs.
Robinson.
But I may as well talk to the wall for all the good it does.
John, look at this.
Does your uncle happen to be a three-toed freak, Smith? Beware, Major.
He may be invisible at the moment but he can hear you only too clearly.
- You're asking for trouble.
- Sure, sure.
John, what do you make of it? What was it the robot said? "Genetic code indecipherable"? He also said invisible, indestructible and irresistible.
- And yet with enough energy to cause all that damage.
- What kind of energy? The vital energy of the spirit world, madam.
- With three-toed footprints? - The footprints have nothing to do with it.
Well, then, what could've made them? Some nocturnal denizen of this miserable planet seeking food.
Certainly no visitor from the spirit world.
Come on, Smith.
Change the record.
Let's get some breakfast.
I think we should get up to drill site five and see what we've got.
Until all this is cleaned up, we're gonna have to eat all our meals inside.
- Uh, Major West? - What is it, Smith? I hope you won't be too disappointed if you don't find anything up at drill site five.
And what is that supposed to mean? You said yourself the explosion sounded like a damp squib.
And with your superior knowledge of pyrotechnics, you're probably right.
You put the blasting pack in the hole marked with the arrow? - Oh, indeed, I did.
- Uh-huh.
And you put the metal capping back on the hole before you left? Naturally.
That's S.
O.
P.
for all blasting operations.
There is no arrow and no metal capping.
Now, what'd you do with the explosives? I want the truth! - You're hurting me! - All right, then, Smith, what did you do with it? - I threw it in the bog.
- Oh, you're a-- It was too much of a climb for a man of my years! You should never have sent me.
- Well, at least we know where that energy came from.
- [ Sighs .]
You combine that explosive with whatever elements are in that bog and it evidently unleashes a force we have no power to control.
We'd better get up to that drill site, Don.
I wanna tell you one thing, Smith.
I promise you that bog may be off-limits to everyone else, but from now on you're going to be swimming in it every night looking for your three-toed uncle! Swimming in it? But I can't swim.
[ Sighs .]
Smith just won't cooperate even if it means getting off this planet.
Well, he might after we've made him spend one night out here.
[ Chuckles .]
No, thanks.
And I don't want his cooperation.
I'd just like to scare him enough to keep him out of our hair until we've got enough fuel to get going.
Don! Don, come here! Look at this.
Now, what kind of force could remain invisible and yet have enough molecular weight to leave tracks like this? And only comes out at night like Smith's Uncle Thaddeus.
- [ Chuckles .]
- Do you think it'll be back? Well, we'd better be prepared for that possibility.
Look, we've got just enough time to set the explosives and be back here before nightfall.
I want us to be here if and when something happens.
So I guess they're just gonna keep looking to see if there's anything out in the bog.
Nothing's in that bog that they will see, I assure you.
But we will.
What's that for? This? One of the necessaries for our little seance now that we are fortunately free of certain hostile influences.
- Come with me, please, all of you.
- But why? What for? We don't want a repetition of last night's destruction, do we? - No, but-- - Exactly.
Therefore I shall resurrect Uncle Thaddeus and make him your friend as well as mine via a seance.
Well, come along.
[ Maureen .]
Oh, Dr.
Smith, you can't be serious.
A seance here in outer space? And besides, Dr.
Smith, it wasn't even your Uncle Thaddeus out there last night.
It was just the explosives combined with the ionized gas.
You're getting to be just as bad as Major West with your know-nothing know-how, young man.
A common failing of all technologists who cannot see beyond their rolls of computer tape.
And to you, madam, I might say there are more things in heaven and earth-- et cetera, et cetera.
- Come along.
It's almost midnight.
- Dr.
Smith? - Yes? - Both John and I believe that there are certain psychic phenomena that can't be explained.
However, this-- I am waiting to explain them to you, madam.
Please sit down.
All right, go ahead, children.
Now, then, let us all join hands one over, one under.
Yes.
So.
[ Thumping .]
- [ Thumping Continues .]
- Let's get back to the ship.
[ Blows Landing .]
[ Thumping Continues .]
## [ Guitar .]
# If a body meets a body # # Coming through the rye # # If a body kiss a body # # Need a body cry # [ All .]
# Every lassie has her laddie # # None they say have I # # Yet all the lads they smile on me # # When coming through the rye ## Splendid.
Penny, it is vital that your left hand be in contact with Will's right.
It would be terrible if we broke the eternal circle, you know.
Now, then, let everyone close his eyes and send out thoughts to the timeless and universal spirits of those that came before us.
Oh, really, Dr.
Smith.
Don't you think this is a little ridiculous? Shh, madam.
You will ruin everything with your unfriendly vibrations.
We greet you with song, oh, spirit - with infinite faith in your goodness.
- [ Children Giggling .]
Shh! No giggling.
Oh, spirit, give us a sign that you have overlooked our naughty fellow travelers in space - who doubt your presence.
- [ Giggling .]
Shh, shh, shh! And let them know that you are willing to let bygones be bygones if they will amend their ways.
- [ Giggling .]
- Shh! With bated breath, we await a sign that you are with us.
- Everybody, back in the ship! Back in the ship! - What? Look what you've done! We were about to hear from the spirit world! [ Gasps .]
What is this? Who did that? - Warning! Warning! Unidentified object behind you! - What? - Warning! Warning! Unidentified object-- - Into the ship! Hurry! In front of you! Warning! Warning! Unidentified object beside you! - Warning! Warning! - Uncle Thaddeus, you'll stop that this minute! - What are you doing to him? - What's he doing to us? - What'd you do that for? - I don't want you to hurt Uncle Thaddeus.
It's not your Uncle Thaddeus, you idiot! It's something you started by ditching that explosive in the-- Don, inside! Come on! Wait for me! [ Thumping .]
It's strong enough to smash us to bits if it keeps up like this.
- Don, throw out a force field.
- Right.
- Judy, take the children below.
- Okay.
- [ Thumping Continues .]
- Where's Smith? Our fearless mystic was the first one down below.
[ Electricity Crackling .]
[ Robot .]
Warning! Warning! Losing power.
Losing-- [ Powering Down .]
- It's taken all our power.
It feeds on it.
- Listen.
- The thumping has stopped.
- There's your reason.
[ Don .]
It may feed on power, but it sure hates daylight.
- Don, can you get the backup system going? - I'll try.
If that thing feeds on power, then maybe we can trap it by using power as bait.
Oh, look.
[ Robot Powering Up .]
Where was I? We were attacked by an alien creature who eats energy.
That, of course, does not compute.
However, I will need a battery recharge in the morning.
Let's get some sleep.
We have a lot of hard work to do before tomorrow night.
[ Scoffs .]
You're completely mad.
You cannot trap a spirit in a cage.
Can't you realize that what we're dealing with is a destructive, primitive force? Uncle Thaddeus is not primitive.
And if he's destructive, it's only because you've offended him.
Don't you ever give up? You've said the same thing over and over.
You sound like a parrot.
And I'll continue to say it.
The hours you've wasted fabricating this affront to my forebears could have been much better spent refining fuel for our departure! Well, Smith, since you're so anxious to get going why don't you go ahead and refine? I'm sure that you know as much about that as you did about drill site five.
All right, we're ready to test it now.
- You know, I think that's gonna work.
- Ha! Not only will it not work, but when the spirits become aware of your amateurish plotting - there will be no stopping them.
- You have any better suggestions, Dr.
Smith? Yes.
Placate them.
Communicate with them.
Let them know you believe in them.
Well, you know, somehow I just can't see myself sitting down at a Ouija board.
And since I'm in command here we're gonna go after whatever's giving us all this trouble my way.
At your own peril.
[ Thumping .]
Warning! Warning! Unidentified object caught in trap! Warning! Unidentified object caught in trap! Unidentified object exerting full power to get out of trap! Warning! Warning! Unidentified object exerting full power to get out of trap! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Now you've done it.
You've given the powers of darkness an open invitation to destroy us all! - Why don't you admit you started all this? - All right, I admit it.
But why couldn't you let sleeping dogs lie? Oh, forgive me, Uncle Thaddeus.
Whatever's in there hasn't been getting much sleep the last couple of nights.
Because you spoiled my attempt to placate him! Are you sure it's your Uncle Thaddeus in there, Dr.
Smith? It's his poltergeist-- the demon that possesses him when he's in a rage.
I'd sure like to get a good look at him.
Maybe we could put a lot of rope around the cage and then open the door.
We'll wait till morning.
He'll be lots quieter then.
- You think he'll still be invisible in the morning? - I don't know.
I could materialize him, but in his present state of agitation - I wouldn't dare.
- [ Don .]
Once and for all, Smith why don't you get it through your thick head what's in there is not your Uncle Thaddeus! Yes, I know, Major.
It's mass and energy and similar figments of your nuclear imagination.
And if you choose to believe that humbug you go right ahead and do it! Oh! The ignorance of science! Psst! Psst! [ Gasps .]
Shh.
Will, I need your help, my boy-- to save us all.
Our situation is desperate.
I thought you were Uncle Thaddeus.
No, he recognizes me more readily when I wear familiar raiment.
Now, Will, that safe path through the bog you told me about Now, Will, that safe path through the bog you told me about -you must lead me to it.
- Why do you wanna go there? To placate an army of hosts that is probably massing now to attack us and rescue one of their own from the trap.
- It's our last hope.
- He's not a ghost, Doctor.
Shh! Spirit.
They do not like to be called ghosts! - Well, he isn't a spirit either.
- Must you argue with me now when time is so short? At least give me the benefit of the doubt.
Well Mom did say to have an open mind about it.
- I'll go.
- Good.
We must hurry.
- Hurry, Will! Hurry! - [ Mumbles .]
- Here's the path.
- Are you sure it's safe? - I don't swim very well, you know.
- It's dry land.
But it's kind of narrow, so you'll have to watch your step.
Yes.
[ Grunts .]
Oh.
[ Panting .]
The dangers I face for that family.
[ Grunting .]
Oh, dear.
[ Thumping .]
[ Glass Shattering .]
Warning! [ Powering Down .]
You needn't be afraid, my boy.
Everything's perfectly all right.
I'm right behind you.
[ Gasping .]
They're attacking me! The poltergeists, they've caught me! Push it aside, Dr.
Smith.
It's only a branch.
- Are you sure? - I'm sure.
Oh.
Ah.
We're about in the middle of the bog now.
This might be a good place to start that placating.
Yes, I suppose so.
There.
Hold the lamp up high.
[ Straining .]
Oh, universal spirits, hear my voice.
Hear my voice.
Hear my voice.
I give you my solemn promise your brother spirit, who has been treated so outrageously will be returned to you unharmed.
Calm yourselves and wait patiently.
He will surely return.
Do you think they heard you? I'm waiting for a sign.
Oh, universal spirits give me a sign that we are friends.
- Did you hear that? - Hear what? Something moving.
Listen.
I don't hear anything and I don't see anything out there either.
We may have come too far.
I think we'd better go back.
This place is as good as any if they're gonna hear you.
I have more experience in these matters than you.
Follow me.
Oh! You'd better go ahead and light the way.
[ Screams .]
Careful.
I almost fell into the bog.
Don't be so scared, Dr.
Smith.
It's not deep, just slimy.
- That does not reassure me.
- [ Thumping .]
[ Gasps .]
- Wait.
- What is it now? I heard it again.
Listen.
- Something's following us.
- Oh! Maybe we should've stayed where we were.
- Is anyone out there? - [ Thumping Continues .]
You call to him, Dr.
Smith.
He'll probably answer you whoever he is.
Oh, I will-- as soon as we get out of this dreadful bog.
He can hear us just as well on dry land.
Why don't we just wait here and let him catch up to us? Oh, no, no.
We must maintain a respectful distance.
It's, um, an essential part of the ceremony.
- Okay.
- Come.
- [ Branches Rustling .]
- There's something out there! - What? - Maybe he got ahead of us.
- Where? Where? - There! [ Gasps .]
Do you recognize him? Not exactly.
You'd better start talking to him if you want him to let us by.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
He doesn't seem very friendly.
He may be loaded with poltergeists.
- Are poltergeists dangerous? - Oh, yes, very.
And unpredictable.
You never know what they're going to do next.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to exorcise them.
Why would a spirit need exercise? No, no, my boy.
Ex-or-cize.
It means to cast out evil.
- The evil demons.
- How do we do that? With these mystic charms.
Watch.
I'll try the dagger first.
With this dagger I exorcise your demons, oh, spirit.
You missed.
The poltergeists must have turned it aside.
They've very wicked and cunning.
This garlic will probably do the trick.
What do you want me to do with it? Wave it in front of him and repeat after me.
Oh, ye herb of evil odor-- Oh, ye herb of evil odor-- Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and render them harmless.
Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and-- Well, go on.
Go on.
I don't think that's a spirit at all.
- What? - I think it's a dead tree.
Don't get too close! I'm right.
It is a tree.
I'm right.
It is a tree.
Impostor! You could've told me that sooner.
All that wasted effort! What are you doing now? Looking for the dagger.
It flew over here.
Will! Over here! Will, did you find the dagger? Will, answer me.
Did you find the dagger? Will? [ Screams .]
Where are you? Will? Will? Will? Oh, dear.
Will is-- is that you? [ Screaming .]
Oh! No! No, you're not my Uncle Thaddeus! You couldn't be! Avaunt! Get ye hence! Begone! [ Whimpering .]
Avaunt! [ Groans .]
Get ye hence! Begone! If only I had the garlic and my dagger! Oh, no, no.
I really didn't mean anything.
I wouldn't do anything to harm you.
I wouldn't hurt you for anything, only please, please don't come any closer! Are you really gone? Oh.
[ Groaning .]
Will.
He's gone.
What will I do now? How will I tell them? Oh, Will.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, Will.
[ Will .]
Dr.
Smith, where are you? Dr.
Smith? Well, can't you hear me? Where are you? That's funny.
I can't see myself.
Is someone there? Who are you? Dr.
Smith, is that you? Gosh, if only I could see myself.
Mom, Dad, it's gone! Mom, Dad, it's gone! - You'd better get Will and Dr.
Smith.
- All right.
Dr.
Smith? Looks like we fed him enough power to eat his way out.
Mom, Dad! Neither of them are in their cabins.
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! - Was Will with you? - He will always be with me.
- Never mind that.
Where is he now? - It was a fateful journey one of which I was prepared to sacrifice myself if need be to save you all.
- Where is he? - The bog.
The bog.
[ John .]
We'll find him, darling.
You left him out there.
Oh, Dr.
Smith, how could you? Oh, dear.
Will! Will! Will, where are you? Wait! There's something over there.
Will! - [ Roaring .]
- Will! Will! [ Will .]
Help! No, don't! [ John .]
Will! - Didn't you hear us call? - I don't think so.
What were you doing out here anyway? Or is this another one of Dr.
Smith's brilliant ideas? I don't know how brilliant it was, but it sure was funny.
He tried to placate the spirits, but I dropped the lamp.
And when I tried to find it-- I know you won't believe this, but I became invisible.
I believe you, son.
Well, and then something tried to-- Well, I don't know, but it couldn't have been Dr.
Smith's Uncle Thaddeus.
Well, knowing Dr.
Smith there isn't anything I'd put past his Uncle Thaddeus.
I'd better tell him I'm all right.
Now, wait a minute.
We'll go with you.
From now on, I shall devote the rest of my life to the service of my fellow man with no thought of self.
That brave little boy shall not have died in vain.
A new Zachary Smith shall burst upon the world with a-- No! Oh, no! No, not so soon! You can't materialize until I've raised you and I don't even have my Ouija board.
- But, Dr.
Smith-- - Haunt me not, oh, spirit! I have already repented, I swear to you! I'm not a spirit, Dr.
Smith.
I'm just me.
Will? Will? Is it you? Oh, Will.
Oh, Will, it's you! I found the lantern, but I lost a shoe looking for it.
Lost your shoe? I know exactly where to find it.
Come along.
Ah, yes, Will.
As a youth I spent many a summer day lazing in the warm sun on the banks of the river the blue sky overhead, the shimmering water flowing by the gentle hum of a bee in flight.
Ah, yes, a barefoot boy with cheeks of tan.
Alert! Alert! A moving object attached to line! He's got a big one! Well, pull it in, you idiot! Don't just stand there! Weight of the object exceeds the strength of the line.
Restraint should be exercised until there is less resistance.
Ha! Give me that pole.
Let an expert show you how this should be done.
Caution and patience is advised.
Caution and patience-- Quiet, you mumbling mass of metal! I'll handle this! He's right, Dr.
Smith.
If you're not careful, the fish'll get away.
Nonsense! Our finny friend is practically in the frying pan now.
[ Robot .]
A release of line tension is advised.
Give him some slack, Dr.
Smith.
Ease off gradually.
I know what I'm doing.
Give up, you brute.
You've met your match! Oh! Object fish has eluded capture.
- He got away, sir.
- Not even the greatest experts could've landed that monster.
- He must've weighed 100 pounds.
- All your fish got away.
Are you suggesting that my failure is due to a lack of ability? Well, you're the only one who didn't catch anything.
As you have said, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Indeed! Rather than bear any further insults I shall return to the Jupiter 2.
- Good day to you both.
- We didn't mean anything, Doctor.
Honest, we didn't.
Ha! He did not get away.
I released him.
We might as well go too.
Dr.
Smith suffers the injury of embarrassment.
- He will recover.
- Well, I guess you're right.
What's wrong? You sure are actin' funny.
- Warning! Immediate danger! - What kind of danger? My sensors will not accept the possibility of its existence.
Golly!
Last week, as you recall, we left Professor Robinson working by a mysterious, ghostly swamp out of which was soon to come the most terrifying challenge ever to confront our space family.
Put it over there, dear boy.
Doesn't take that long to post a sign, does it? Professor Robinson is a reflective man who likes to take his time.
And the more time he takes the less work for you, right, Smith? Major, I have told you before that I suffer from a very delicate back.
- [ Gasps .]
- [ Scoffs .]
I'll go see what's keeping him.
Dad! Don, come here, hurry! - [ Coughing .]
- Will, get back to the Chariot! John! [ Coughing .]
John! - [ Coughing .]
- John.
Dad, are you all right? I'll be all right.
Looks like I forgot to read that sign.
Thanks.
Now let's get back to the drill site.
This is taking a lot longer than I thought.
And your efforts may be completely wasted.
- We'll be the judge of that, Smith.
- Very well.
But don't say I didn't warn you.
Geologically speaking deutronium ore cannot exist in the presence of inorganic terrain.
Now, Dr.
Smith, since you seem to be the expert around here why don't you take this up to drill site five and do some blasting? It'll save us a lot of time if there's nothing up there.
Now, the hole's prepared.
All you do is insert it pull the pin and get out of there, all right? - It's quite futile.
I assure you.
- Do it anyway.
- If you insist.
- I'll go with you if you'd like, Dr.
Smith.
- It's quite unnecessary, my boy.
- But I'm not doing much of anything around here.
- Maybe I can help.
- Sure.
Take Will along.
He knows the way.
Very well.
Lead on.
I know a shortcut to drill site five if you're not scared of going through there.
The bog? After what happened to your father this morning? But there's one place that's safe.
Penny and I found it.
Then Penny and you may delight in your discovery to your hearts' content.
- I want no part of it.
- All right.
Then we take the hard way.
I don't mind the climb if you don't, but it's pretty steep.
Oh, Will? It just occurred to me.
Your father may not know where I stored the spare drill heads.
You'd better go back and tell him that they're under the, uh, the backseat of the Chariot.
- He may need them.
- I'm sure he'll find 'em.
I would go myself, you see but he and Major West are already quite annoyed with me.
I would prefer not to aggravate the situation.
Well, you haven't been very encouraging.
Very true.
But I have always been a man to speak my mind.
Let the chips fall where they may.
Now, you'd better hurry up and give them the message.
I'll rejoin all of you later.
All right.
[ Gasps .]
Oh! [ Rumbling .]
That sounds a little offbeat to me.
I hope he didn't foul it up.
We'll check results tomorrow.
Right now I think we ought to pack up and go home.
He should be back here by the time we're ready to leave.
Then you won't be needing the drill heads? No, son, not today.
[ Thumping .]
- How do I look? - Oh, it's a perfect fit.
I know that, but how do I look? - Just stunning.
- Thank you.
I hope I look like that in mine when it's finished.
- Well, of course you will, dear.
- I don't know.
I keep growing so fast, it'll probably be tight in all the wrong places - before it's ready to wear.
- Does anyone happen to have some scarlet paint? Well, I have some lipstick, but it isn't scarlet.
- No, no, I'm afraid it must be scarlet.
- What do you need it for? For my Ouija board.
What on earth have you got on, miss? Do you like them? They're my new fatigues.
Yours are right there, Dr.
Smith.
I felt that we were all due for a change.
Well, much as I respect you ladies I'm afraid you do not know anything about cutting a man's clothes.
- What's wrong with them? - Look at it.
You've made no allowance for the breadth of my shoulders or the muscular development of my arms.
Let me give you a hint, madam.
Think of the Greek athlete-- the discobolus thrower, for example-- and you'll be much closer to fitting me properly.
Now, then, I must have some scarlet paint.
- Do you know where I can find some? - No.
- Oh, you mean for your-- - My Ouija board.
What is this? - Incredible.
- [ Penny .]
Dr.
Smith? - Yes? - What does a Ouija board do? It enables me to communicate with the timeless and universal spirits of those that came before us.
- One in particular-- my Great Uncle Thaddeus.
- Gosh.
I've been very remiss of late, I'm afraid.
I haven't spoken to Uncle Thaddeus for months.
I think he may be offended.
That's why I decided to make the Ouija board.
- And you're gonna raise him with that, huh, Smith? - I always have.
I don't think there's any such thing as raising spirits.
It's just an old hat superstition.
But Dr.
Smith says he's spoken to him plenty of times.
He's only fooling you, Penny.
His Uncle Thaddeus doesn't even exist.
You're entitled to your own opinion, young man.
But if your sister prefers to adhere to mine, I shall defend to the death - her right to do so.
- All right, all right, all right, all right, Smith.
How about skipping the chivalry and proving it? I can't, not without scarlet paint! Well, there's some red lead in the tool locker.
How about that? Red lead indeed.
A bit dreary and utilitarian but I suppose it'll have to do.
- He's really taking this seriously.
- So am I.
There.
My Aunt Matilda was much better at making Ouija boards than I am.
But she taught me well.
As you can plainly see I haven't altogether forgotten my artistry.
Well, it looks very mysterious to me.
The riddle of the universe is wrapped in mystery, dear lady.
And that thing's gonna solve it for you, right? Not solve it, Major-- permit us to participate in its splendors.
Now, then, I must choose a medium from among you someone with the same sensitive qualities as my Aunt Matilda.
- No.
Ah! - [ Laughing .]
Vital energy, great powers of concentration and a sympathetic heart.
You will do very nicely, Penny.
With your permission, Mrs.
Robinson.
Well, uh, I don't know.
If you think it won't frighten her.
Oh, Mom, I'm not a baby.
It's really no different from a scientific experiment, is it, Dad? Well, science has been interested in psychic phenomena for some years.
And there are some things they haven't been able to explain.
All right, Doctor, go right ahead.
You're too kind.
Come along, Penny.
We'll sit over there.
Let me see.
Yes, this seems to be a quite good place right here.
We place our stools so and we place the board on our knees so, the glass here.
Now, then, place your fingertips lightly on the rim of the glass so.
- And concentrate very deeply.
- On what? [ Chuckling .]
This is no laughing matter, young man.
I can't help it.
It's just so silly.
I see.
And does anyone else think it's silly? Come on, Smith.
You can't expect us to take this for real.
I see, Major.
Come along, Penny.
We must remove ourselves from all adverse influences.
Hey, give my regards to Aunt Matilda, hmm? Philistine! Come along, dear.
You hurt his feelings.
- You could've at least given him the benefit of the doubt.
- Again? You know, when I was a little girl we found a Ouija board up in my grandmother's attic.
The trouble was, nobody knew what to do with it even my grandmother.
I'm afraid it's quite obsolete in the world of computers.
So is Dr.
Smith.
But then again I'm not sure what world he really belongs in.
Come along, dear.
Doubters, such doubters.
Ah, this looks like a very good place, Penny.
Sit down, dear.
And we place the board on our knees, the glass so.
Now, place your fingertips on the rim of the glass.
Yes.
Now, concentrate as hard as you can on this glass.
- All I can do is stare at it.
Is that what you mean? - Precisely.
Stare at it until there is nothing else in your mind - but the glass.
- What's it for? You're supposed to concentrate, missy, not ask questions.
And don't blink your eyes, dear.
Oh, eternal powers of the spirit world Oh, well-loved and well-remembered absent friend and consanguineous kin, dear Uncle Thaddeus give us a sign that we may know you are near.
Speak to us through the medium of our humble artifacts and through the presence of this innocent child whose delicate sensors reach out to you.
You're beginning to feel a presence? I feel shivery.
Good.
That's how it begins.
- Something's happening.
- What is it? It's moving, I think.
[ Scraping .]
[ Ghostly Laughter .]
We are not alone.
They are here with us.
Oh, eternal powers of the spirit world grasp this humble artifact and materialize your presence so that we may recognize you.
[ Gasps .]
[ Gasps .]
Oh ah! - [ Screams .]
- [ Gasping .]
Mom! Please, Dad! What is it, dear? What's the matter? What happened? The scariest thing.
First, the glass, it broke into pieces.
And then the Ouija board, it flew up in the air all by itself, and-- - What? - and zoomed down on a rock - and broke up.
- I'm breaking up too, but in a different way.
All right, Smith.
Now tell us what really happened.
Surely you don't doubt the word of your own child? No.
But it's possible that all she saw was an illusion - created by you.
- Skeptics, skeptics.
There.
Cut by a piece of that flying glass.
Does that convince you? I was afraid Uncle Thaddeus would not like it here.
Are you sure Uncle Thaddeus did that? Indeed, yes.
He was a very powerful man in life always throwing things about when something didn't please him.
Oh, nice as pie on the surface, but very pugnacious underneath.
An iron hand in a velvet glove.
Tonight, he was all iron hand.
I wish I knew how to placate him.
- Ah, come on, now, Smith.
Stop this hanky-panky, huh? - Hanky-panky indeed.
If what you say really happened, there's a scientific explanation for it.
And tomorrow morning, I'm gonna tell you exactly what it is.
Now, I'm going to bed.
Good night.
And I suppose the rest of you agree with him? Come on, children.
It's time for bed.
Good night.
Smith, there may be a scientific explanation for this, and there may not be.
But right now, we've got too many problems to cope with without worrying about your Uncle Thaddeus.
Oh, the pain.
The pain.
Warning! Warning! I want an immediate reading on the object.
[ Robot .]
Composition of object does not compute.
Genetic code indecipherable.
[ John .]
Can you locate its position? Due north by horizontal bearing.
Distance by velocity of light-- - Velocity of light? - Sixty-five meters.
Look! You've offended the spirits with your mockery and lack of faith.
Cut the gibberish, Smith.
This is serious.
Indeed.
You, sir, over here.
- Bring your resources to bear and describe what is out there.
- Invisible.
Indestructible.
Irresistible.
- You can do better than that, you ninny! - Negative.
Computers inadequate for further information.
Well, that's clear enough.
It can only be Uncle Thaddeus on one of his infrequent benders, thanks to you, Major.
- I suppose I'll have to go out and have a little chat with him.
- [ Maureen .]
Oh, Dr.
Smith.
Don't you think he's a little too violent right now? In the teeth of the hurricane in the eye of the gale, in the turbulence of the spirit there is only one way-- face to face.
- Oh, John, I think we should stop him.
- Don't worry about him.
He'll run for his life if anything comes within a mile of him.
Uncle Thaddeus, is that you? I know I never should've summoned you.
I'm very sorry.
It's all their fault.
They don't believe in you.
I've tried my best, but-- Oh, no! [ Screams .]
You children better stay here.
- Oh, Dr.
Smith.
- Oh! Oh! - Is he still there? - There was no one here to begin with.
Just that rock out there.
Must've been something enormously powerful to pick that up and toss it around.
Uncle Thaddeus was a very powerful man.
Oh, dear.
Will you stop this Uncle Thaddeus business? I've had him up to here! Whatever caused all this obviously prefers to work in darkness.
- Spirits always do.
- How do you know that? Good-bye, Uncle Thaddeus.
It couldn't have been something atmospheric, could it? Well, I've seen twisters cut a swath through an area before but they come anytime, and they don't quit at dawn.
- Uh-huh.
- Well, then what could it have been? I have done my best to explain it to you, Mrs.
Robinson.
But I may as well talk to the wall for all the good it does.
John, look at this.
Does your uncle happen to be a three-toed freak, Smith? Beware, Major.
He may be invisible at the moment but he can hear you only too clearly.
- You're asking for trouble.
- Sure, sure.
John, what do you make of it? What was it the robot said? "Genetic code indecipherable"? He also said invisible, indestructible and irresistible.
- And yet with enough energy to cause all that damage.
- What kind of energy? The vital energy of the spirit world, madam.
- With three-toed footprints? - The footprints have nothing to do with it.
Well, then, what could've made them? Some nocturnal denizen of this miserable planet seeking food.
Certainly no visitor from the spirit world.
Come on, Smith.
Change the record.
Let's get some breakfast.
I think we should get up to drill site five and see what we've got.
Until all this is cleaned up, we're gonna have to eat all our meals inside.
- Uh, Major West? - What is it, Smith? I hope you won't be too disappointed if you don't find anything up at drill site five.
And what is that supposed to mean? You said yourself the explosion sounded like a damp squib.
And with your superior knowledge of pyrotechnics, you're probably right.
You put the blasting pack in the hole marked with the arrow? - Oh, indeed, I did.
- Uh-huh.
And you put the metal capping back on the hole before you left? Naturally.
That's S.
O.
P.
for all blasting operations.
There is no arrow and no metal capping.
Now, what'd you do with the explosives? I want the truth! - You're hurting me! - All right, then, Smith, what did you do with it? - I threw it in the bog.
- Oh, you're a-- It was too much of a climb for a man of my years! You should never have sent me.
- Well, at least we know where that energy came from.
- [ Sighs .]
You combine that explosive with whatever elements are in that bog and it evidently unleashes a force we have no power to control.
We'd better get up to that drill site, Don.
I wanna tell you one thing, Smith.
I promise you that bog may be off-limits to everyone else, but from now on you're going to be swimming in it every night looking for your three-toed uncle! Swimming in it? But I can't swim.
[ Sighs .]
Smith just won't cooperate even if it means getting off this planet.
Well, he might after we've made him spend one night out here.
[ Chuckles .]
No, thanks.
And I don't want his cooperation.
I'd just like to scare him enough to keep him out of our hair until we've got enough fuel to get going.
Don! Don, come here! Look at this.
Now, what kind of force could remain invisible and yet have enough molecular weight to leave tracks like this? And only comes out at night like Smith's Uncle Thaddeus.
- [ Chuckles .]
- Do you think it'll be back? Well, we'd better be prepared for that possibility.
Look, we've got just enough time to set the explosives and be back here before nightfall.
I want us to be here if and when something happens.
So I guess they're just gonna keep looking to see if there's anything out in the bog.
Nothing's in that bog that they will see, I assure you.
But we will.
What's that for? This? One of the necessaries for our little seance now that we are fortunately free of certain hostile influences.
- Come with me, please, all of you.
- But why? What for? We don't want a repetition of last night's destruction, do we? - No, but-- - Exactly.
Therefore I shall resurrect Uncle Thaddeus and make him your friend as well as mine via a seance.
Well, come along.
[ Maureen .]
Oh, Dr.
Smith, you can't be serious.
A seance here in outer space? And besides, Dr.
Smith, it wasn't even your Uncle Thaddeus out there last night.
It was just the explosives combined with the ionized gas.
You're getting to be just as bad as Major West with your know-nothing know-how, young man.
A common failing of all technologists who cannot see beyond their rolls of computer tape.
And to you, madam, I might say there are more things in heaven and earth-- et cetera, et cetera.
- Come along.
It's almost midnight.
- Dr.
Smith? - Yes? - Both John and I believe that there are certain psychic phenomena that can't be explained.
However, this-- I am waiting to explain them to you, madam.
Please sit down.
All right, go ahead, children.
Now, then, let us all join hands one over, one under.
Yes.
So.
[ Thumping .]
- [ Thumping Continues .]
- Let's get back to the ship.
[ Blows Landing .]
[ Thumping Continues .]
## [ Guitar .]
# If a body meets a body # # Coming through the rye # # If a body kiss a body # # Need a body cry # [ All .]
# Every lassie has her laddie # # None they say have I # # Yet all the lads they smile on me # # When coming through the rye ## Splendid.
Penny, it is vital that your left hand be in contact with Will's right.
It would be terrible if we broke the eternal circle, you know.
Now, then, let everyone close his eyes and send out thoughts to the timeless and universal spirits of those that came before us.
Oh, really, Dr.
Smith.
Don't you think this is a little ridiculous? Shh, madam.
You will ruin everything with your unfriendly vibrations.
We greet you with song, oh, spirit - with infinite faith in your goodness.
- [ Children Giggling .]
Shh! No giggling.
Oh, spirit, give us a sign that you have overlooked our naughty fellow travelers in space - who doubt your presence.
- [ Giggling .]
Shh, shh, shh! And let them know that you are willing to let bygones be bygones if they will amend their ways.
- [ Giggling .]
- Shh! With bated breath, we await a sign that you are with us.
- Everybody, back in the ship! Back in the ship! - What? Look what you've done! We were about to hear from the spirit world! [ Gasps .]
What is this? Who did that? - Warning! Warning! Unidentified object behind you! - What? - Warning! Warning! Unidentified object-- - Into the ship! Hurry! In front of you! Warning! Warning! Unidentified object beside you! - Warning! Warning! - Uncle Thaddeus, you'll stop that this minute! - What are you doing to him? - What's he doing to us? - What'd you do that for? - I don't want you to hurt Uncle Thaddeus.
It's not your Uncle Thaddeus, you idiot! It's something you started by ditching that explosive in the-- Don, inside! Come on! Wait for me! [ Thumping .]
It's strong enough to smash us to bits if it keeps up like this.
- Don, throw out a force field.
- Right.
- Judy, take the children below.
- Okay.
- [ Thumping Continues .]
- Where's Smith? Our fearless mystic was the first one down below.
[ Electricity Crackling .]
[ Robot .]
Warning! Warning! Losing power.
Losing-- [ Powering Down .]
- It's taken all our power.
It feeds on it.
- Listen.
- The thumping has stopped.
- There's your reason.
[ Don .]
It may feed on power, but it sure hates daylight.
- Don, can you get the backup system going? - I'll try.
If that thing feeds on power, then maybe we can trap it by using power as bait.
Oh, look.
[ Robot Powering Up .]
Where was I? We were attacked by an alien creature who eats energy.
That, of course, does not compute.
However, I will need a battery recharge in the morning.
Let's get some sleep.
We have a lot of hard work to do before tomorrow night.
[ Scoffs .]
You're completely mad.
You cannot trap a spirit in a cage.
Can't you realize that what we're dealing with is a destructive, primitive force? Uncle Thaddeus is not primitive.
And if he's destructive, it's only because you've offended him.
Don't you ever give up? You've said the same thing over and over.
You sound like a parrot.
And I'll continue to say it.
The hours you've wasted fabricating this affront to my forebears could have been much better spent refining fuel for our departure! Well, Smith, since you're so anxious to get going why don't you go ahead and refine? I'm sure that you know as much about that as you did about drill site five.
All right, we're ready to test it now.
- You know, I think that's gonna work.
- Ha! Not only will it not work, but when the spirits become aware of your amateurish plotting - there will be no stopping them.
- You have any better suggestions, Dr.
Smith? Yes.
Placate them.
Communicate with them.
Let them know you believe in them.
Well, you know, somehow I just can't see myself sitting down at a Ouija board.
And since I'm in command here we're gonna go after whatever's giving us all this trouble my way.
At your own peril.
[ Thumping .]
Warning! Warning! Unidentified object caught in trap! Warning! Unidentified object caught in trap! Unidentified object exerting full power to get out of trap! Warning! Warning! Unidentified object exerting full power to get out of trap! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Warning! Now you've done it.
You've given the powers of darkness an open invitation to destroy us all! - Why don't you admit you started all this? - All right, I admit it.
But why couldn't you let sleeping dogs lie? Oh, forgive me, Uncle Thaddeus.
Whatever's in there hasn't been getting much sleep the last couple of nights.
Because you spoiled my attempt to placate him! Are you sure it's your Uncle Thaddeus in there, Dr.
Smith? It's his poltergeist-- the demon that possesses him when he's in a rage.
I'd sure like to get a good look at him.
Maybe we could put a lot of rope around the cage and then open the door.
We'll wait till morning.
He'll be lots quieter then.
- You think he'll still be invisible in the morning? - I don't know.
I could materialize him, but in his present state of agitation - I wouldn't dare.
- [ Don .]
Once and for all, Smith why don't you get it through your thick head what's in there is not your Uncle Thaddeus! Yes, I know, Major.
It's mass and energy and similar figments of your nuclear imagination.
And if you choose to believe that humbug you go right ahead and do it! Oh! The ignorance of science! Psst! Psst! [ Gasps .]
Shh.
Will, I need your help, my boy-- to save us all.
Our situation is desperate.
I thought you were Uncle Thaddeus.
No, he recognizes me more readily when I wear familiar raiment.
Now, Will, that safe path through the bog you told me about Now, Will, that safe path through the bog you told me about -you must lead me to it.
- Why do you wanna go there? To placate an army of hosts that is probably massing now to attack us and rescue one of their own from the trap.
- It's our last hope.
- He's not a ghost, Doctor.
Shh! Spirit.
They do not like to be called ghosts! - Well, he isn't a spirit either.
- Must you argue with me now when time is so short? At least give me the benefit of the doubt.
Well Mom did say to have an open mind about it.
- I'll go.
- Good.
We must hurry.
- Hurry, Will! Hurry! - [ Mumbles .]
- Here's the path.
- Are you sure it's safe? - I don't swim very well, you know.
- It's dry land.
But it's kind of narrow, so you'll have to watch your step.
Yes.
[ Grunts .]
Oh.
[ Panting .]
The dangers I face for that family.
[ Grunting .]
Oh, dear.
[ Thumping .]
[ Glass Shattering .]
Warning! [ Powering Down .]
You needn't be afraid, my boy.
Everything's perfectly all right.
I'm right behind you.
[ Gasping .]
They're attacking me! The poltergeists, they've caught me! Push it aside, Dr.
Smith.
It's only a branch.
- Are you sure? - I'm sure.
Oh.
Ah.
We're about in the middle of the bog now.
This might be a good place to start that placating.
Yes, I suppose so.
There.
Hold the lamp up high.
[ Straining .]
Oh, universal spirits, hear my voice.
Hear my voice.
Hear my voice.
I give you my solemn promise your brother spirit, who has been treated so outrageously will be returned to you unharmed.
Calm yourselves and wait patiently.
He will surely return.
Do you think they heard you? I'm waiting for a sign.
Oh, universal spirits give me a sign that we are friends.
- Did you hear that? - Hear what? Something moving.
Listen.
I don't hear anything and I don't see anything out there either.
We may have come too far.
I think we'd better go back.
This place is as good as any if they're gonna hear you.
I have more experience in these matters than you.
Follow me.
Oh! You'd better go ahead and light the way.
[ Screams .]
Careful.
I almost fell into the bog.
Don't be so scared, Dr.
Smith.
It's not deep, just slimy.
- That does not reassure me.
- [ Thumping .]
[ Gasps .]
- Wait.
- What is it now? I heard it again.
Listen.
- Something's following us.
- Oh! Maybe we should've stayed where we were.
- Is anyone out there? - [ Thumping Continues .]
You call to him, Dr.
Smith.
He'll probably answer you whoever he is.
Oh, I will-- as soon as we get out of this dreadful bog.
He can hear us just as well on dry land.
Why don't we just wait here and let him catch up to us? Oh, no, no.
We must maintain a respectful distance.
It's, um, an essential part of the ceremony.
- Okay.
- Come.
- [ Branches Rustling .]
- There's something out there! - What? - Maybe he got ahead of us.
- Where? Where? - There! [ Gasps .]
Do you recognize him? Not exactly.
You'd better start talking to him if you want him to let us by.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
He doesn't seem very friendly.
He may be loaded with poltergeists.
- Are poltergeists dangerous? - Oh, yes, very.
And unpredictable.
You never know what they're going to do next.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to exorcise them.
Why would a spirit need exercise? No, no, my boy.
Ex-or-cize.
It means to cast out evil.
- The evil demons.
- How do we do that? With these mystic charms.
Watch.
I'll try the dagger first.
With this dagger I exorcise your demons, oh, spirit.
You missed.
The poltergeists must have turned it aside.
They've very wicked and cunning.
This garlic will probably do the trick.
What do you want me to do with it? Wave it in front of him and repeat after me.
Oh, ye herb of evil odor-- Oh, ye herb of evil odor-- Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and render them harmless.
Unite with the demons who possess this spirit and-- Well, go on.
Go on.
I don't think that's a spirit at all.
- What? - I think it's a dead tree.
Don't get too close! I'm right.
It is a tree.
I'm right.
It is a tree.
Impostor! You could've told me that sooner.
All that wasted effort! What are you doing now? Looking for the dagger.
It flew over here.
Will! Over here! Will, did you find the dagger? Will, answer me.
Did you find the dagger? Will? [ Screams .]
Where are you? Will? Will? Will? Oh, dear.
Will is-- is that you? [ Screaming .]
Oh! No! No, you're not my Uncle Thaddeus! You couldn't be! Avaunt! Get ye hence! Begone! [ Whimpering .]
Avaunt! [ Groans .]
Get ye hence! Begone! If only I had the garlic and my dagger! Oh, no, no.
I really didn't mean anything.
I wouldn't do anything to harm you.
I wouldn't hurt you for anything, only please, please don't come any closer! Are you really gone? Oh.
[ Groaning .]
Will.
He's gone.
What will I do now? How will I tell them? Oh, Will.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
Oh, Will.
[ Will .]
Dr.
Smith, where are you? Dr.
Smith? Well, can't you hear me? Where are you? That's funny.
I can't see myself.
Is someone there? Who are you? Dr.
Smith, is that you? Gosh, if only I could see myself.
Mom, Dad, it's gone! Mom, Dad, it's gone! - You'd better get Will and Dr.
Smith.
- All right.
Dr.
Smith? Looks like we fed him enough power to eat his way out.
Mom, Dad! Neither of them are in their cabins.
Oh, dear! Oh, dear! - Was Will with you? - He will always be with me.
- Never mind that.
Where is he now? - It was a fateful journey one of which I was prepared to sacrifice myself if need be to save you all.
- Where is he? - The bog.
The bog.
[ John .]
We'll find him, darling.
You left him out there.
Oh, Dr.
Smith, how could you? Oh, dear.
Will! Will! Will, where are you? Wait! There's something over there.
Will! - [ Roaring .]
- Will! Will! [ Will .]
Help! No, don't! [ John .]
Will! - Didn't you hear us call? - I don't think so.
What were you doing out here anyway? Or is this another one of Dr.
Smith's brilliant ideas? I don't know how brilliant it was, but it sure was funny.
He tried to placate the spirits, but I dropped the lamp.
And when I tried to find it-- I know you won't believe this, but I became invisible.
I believe you, son.
Well, and then something tried to-- Well, I don't know, but it couldn't have been Dr.
Smith's Uncle Thaddeus.
Well, knowing Dr.
Smith there isn't anything I'd put past his Uncle Thaddeus.
I'd better tell him I'm all right.
Now, wait a minute.
We'll go with you.
From now on, I shall devote the rest of my life to the service of my fellow man with no thought of self.
That brave little boy shall not have died in vain.
A new Zachary Smith shall burst upon the world with a-- No! Oh, no! No, not so soon! You can't materialize until I've raised you and I don't even have my Ouija board.
- But, Dr.
Smith-- - Haunt me not, oh, spirit! I have already repented, I swear to you! I'm not a spirit, Dr.
Smith.
I'm just me.
Will? Will? Is it you? Oh, Will.
Oh, Will, it's you! I found the lantern, but I lost a shoe looking for it.
Lost your shoe? I know exactly where to find it.
Come along.
Ah, yes, Will.
As a youth I spent many a summer day lazing in the warm sun on the banks of the river the blue sky overhead, the shimmering water flowing by the gentle hum of a bee in flight.
Ah, yes, a barefoot boy with cheeks of tan.
Alert! Alert! A moving object attached to line! He's got a big one! Well, pull it in, you idiot! Don't just stand there! Weight of the object exceeds the strength of the line.
Restraint should be exercised until there is less resistance.
Ha! Give me that pole.
Let an expert show you how this should be done.
Caution and patience is advised.
Caution and patience-- Quiet, you mumbling mass of metal! I'll handle this! He's right, Dr.
Smith.
If you're not careful, the fish'll get away.
Nonsense! Our finny friend is practically in the frying pan now.
[ Robot .]
A release of line tension is advised.
Give him some slack, Dr.
Smith.
Ease off gradually.
I know what I'm doing.
Give up, you brute.
You've met your match! Oh! Object fish has eluded capture.
- He got away, sir.
- Not even the greatest experts could've landed that monster.
- He must've weighed 100 pounds.
- All your fish got away.
Are you suggesting that my failure is due to a lack of ability? Well, you're the only one who didn't catch anything.
As you have said, the proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Indeed! Rather than bear any further insults I shall return to the Jupiter 2.
- Good day to you both.
- We didn't mean anything, Doctor.
Honest, we didn't.
Ha! He did not get away.
I released him.
We might as well go too.
Dr.
Smith suffers the injury of embarrassment.
- He will recover.
- Well, I guess you're right.
What's wrong? You sure are actin' funny.
- Warning! Immediate danger! - What kind of danger? My sensors will not accept the possibility of its existence.
Golly!