Milo Murphy's Law (2016) s01e19 Episode Script
Battle of the Bands
1 [TITLE MUSIC.]
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # - # Whoa, whoa # - # we're all livin' in it # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Yes, now! It's battle of the bands.
I think they'll notice if we don't have microphones.
- And you are? - Milo, Melissa, Zack and Mort.
I mean, the name of your band.
- Do we need a band name? - We're just getting started.
Well, welcome to Battle of the Bands.
- "Just Getting Started.
" - That's not what I meant.
Put this up in your practice area.
MELISSA: So this is our competition, huh? Yeah, but we're not here to battle.
We're just here to get experience playing in front of people.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
I like their band name.
"Bad Idea.
" - As in, bad idea if you have to follow them.
- Stop worrying.
Our only goal is to experience playing on stage.
All right guys, I got our wristbands.
[THUDS LOUDLY.]
- BAND MEMBER 1: You okay? - BAND MEMBER 2: Yeah.
I'm okay.
Guess I'll suit up now.
[CLANKING.]
Now we should be safe of any Murphy's Law-type activity.
Looks sturdy, but I'm still a little nervous.
[HICCUPS.]
Ugh.
Sorry.
I hiccup when I'm nervous.
We all had nerves when the Lumberzacks first started.
Sure, the costumes alone.
What exactly are you guys worried about? What if my bass goes out of tune between then and now? - That's not gonna happen.
- What if no one can hear us? Or I'm emotionally out of sync? - Or I have a sneezing fit? - A coughing fit.
- A giggle fit.
- A snoring fit.
- I'm a snorer.
- Mort, you'll be awake.
I'm preparing for all of the above, plus electrical fires, building instabilities, or llama stampedes.
Hey, guys.
There's no pressure for us to be perfect.
Everybody relax.
[INHALES AND EXHALES.]
Okay.
Thanks, Zack.
Okay, I'm going to go get some snacks.
You guys work on [SCREAMS.]
See you later, guys! relaxing.
I was never anxious about shopping carts.
Until now.
[HICCUPS.]
SHELLY: Lumbermax? Lumbermax?! I have your wristbands! Lumbermax? No, can't be.
- Lumbermax.
- We're right here.
Zack? What are you doing here? Hey, Max.
Lyle, Sean, Melvin.
Oh, we changed their names to Max too.
- Oh.
Hi, Maxes.
- ALL: Hi.
- You competing today? - It's actually our first gig.
So, we'll see how it goes.
I always appreciate some good competition.
I mean, we're really not focused on winning.
I hear you, friend.
I relish the rivalry.
But I don't want to be your rival.
I see what you did there.
A little reverse psyche.
I'm not reverse psyching anything.
You know.
How are you guys doing? We're making a comeback.
Touring, a new album, a music video.
And, there's a Lumbermax themed set of tools.
They sing when you saw.
How've you been? Good! I like my new school, and my friends.
Things are good.
Wow, you've had a rough time, why didn't you say? [CHUCKLES.]
No! I'm not having a rough time at all.
That's it, let those hard times fuel you.
I better get back to my band.
See you later.
Don't beat yourself up too much.
Second place is great for an amateur musician.
You know what? [LAUGHS.]
Okay! Okay! - You are not going to believe this.
- There's a saw that sings? I picked it up just in case, isn't it cool? Saw, saw, saw, saw away at my heart [NARRATOR READING.]
I ran into the Lumberzacks.
[CHUCKLES.]
They're called the Lumbermax now.
Well now all the good band names are taken.
Who are the Lumberzacks? - Is there some backstory that I'm not - It was the year 2016.
[ECHOES.]
Sorry, I had the reverb up all the way.
The year 2016 and the Lumberzacks were on tour.
We had been to shopping malls all over the quad-state area.
We sing together.
We danced together.
MILO: You wore flannel shirts together.
ZACK: But the pressure was too much.
We started partying constantly.
It was nonstop.
Then one day, a girl came between us.
- I was standing there.
- She can stand there.
- I was clearly on line.
- I don't think it was clear.
Just like that, we drove her away.
- So how did it end? - When I left, they didn't take it well.
- I'll see you guys.
Good luck.
- Okay.
[PLAYING VIDEO GAME.]
Plus they all changed their names to Max.
- So? - When I was the lead singer, they never changed their names to Zack.
- Did you want them to? - No, but that's not the point! And now they're convinced they're gonna win.
We have got to step up our game.
I thought you said to just relax and something.
I don't know what the rest was.
I I got carried off on a shopping cart.
If we don't sound great, these guys will really think I'm lost without them.
Wow, this is like one of those movies where there's one dance team from the streets and one dance team is classically trained, and they're both going to do this competition, but then the street team runs out of funding, so they have to raise the money, and then the classically trained dancer leaves the other team and joins them and teaches them the value of hard work.
Exactly! Now pick up your sticks! Melissa, pick up your bass.
Okay, but I'm telling you now, I'm not changing my name to Zack.
Milo, that accordion's not going to play itself.
Actually, it does, it has a self-play function right here.
That's cool, but another time! A one-two-three-four.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
No, stop! Start again.
One-two-three-four.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
Wait, no.
Not quite my tempo.
One-two-three-four.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[THUDS.]
[RATTLING.]
[DOGS WHIMPERING.]
- Stop! - What was wrong with that? Nothing yet, but I had a feeling something would be.
[DOGS WHIMPER.]
- I love puppies! - No back talk.
We can replace you with a drum machine.
- I play bass.
- Okay, then we'll replace Mort with a drum machine and he can play bass.
- I like puppies too.
- Yeah, so do I, but you don't see me destroying this band over it! - Well, actually - SHELLY: Just Getting Started.
Please, check in backstage.
All right, shake it off.
Put your differences aside.
Hands in.
One, two, three ALL: Just getting started! Yeah, we really need a better name.
[APPLAUDING.]
All right.
I'd like to introduce our judges.
Judge 1, Miss Whipley, the music teacher at Jefferson Middle School.
Judge 2, Mr.
Schmidt.
The manager of the Pets N Stuff U Feed 'Em store, whose parking lot, he's graciously offered for today's event.
And Judge 3, Slash.
[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
I'm a big fan, Mr.
Slash.
Can I have your autograph? Just call me Slash.
Mr.
Slash is my dad.
Let's hear it for our first band, Scott and the Undergrounders! [APPLAUDING.]
[GUITAR STRUMMING.]
# He shall be our leader # That That's it, that's all we have.
Okay.
Scott and the Undergrounders! [GAS HISSING.]
Yeah! Next up, the Lumbermaxes.
[APPLAUDING.]
Performing their new song, Saw, saw, saw, saw away at my heart.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CROWD CHEERING.]
I know your pining But every cloud has got a silver lining All he did was change the word "Chop" to "Saw!" Zack, are you sure you're We've got to be great if we're going to beat them.
Is your bass tuned properly? Let me take a look at it.
My heart is strong - [PLAYS BASS.]
Um, okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
It seems okay to me.
Yeah.
Yeah You know what, I better just play this for you.
Yeah, I can play both at once.
Can't I? I mean, yeah, yeah.
I can do it.
- Yeah.
This'll work.
- Uh, Zack? Milo.
What about your accordion? Everything okay with it? - It's fine.
- Let me take a look.
[PLAYS ACCORDION.]
Yeah, looks good.
But you know, maybe, maybe I better play it, too.
Yeah, yeah.
I can I can handle this.
[HICCUPS.]
Mort.
Let me check those drums.
[PLAYS DRUM.]
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good to go.
Yeah, yeah.
This'll be fine.
I can do this.
Okay, Just Getting Started, is up next.
And on deck, is Reflective Randy and the See What You've Become's.
What have I become? Oh, guys, I'm so sorry.
- Can you guys forgive me? - Of course we can.
Yeah, because when the classically trained ballerina returns to the street team all repentant, not only do they win the dance competition, but they've all learned the true value of their friendship.
Exactly! This contest was about us playing music together, not about getting wrapped up in what my old friends think.
I say your new friends show your old friends, you don't need their singing saw.
Yeah, who needs more than one? So baby, saw, saw, saw, saw away at my heart Wow.
That's gonna be a hard act to beat.
Good luck to the next band.
Let's hear it for Just Getting Started! [APPLAUDING.]
[DRUM STICKS TICKING.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CLANKING.]
[CRASHES.]
[GROANS.]
Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul [GROANS.]
Jump and shout, just knock yourself out You're gonna wanna lose control We're all burnin' and churnin' [CROWD CHEERING.]
Twistin' and turnin.
' Sometimes you gotta let go Don't you know we got a slam, Big jam like a battering ram So you better look out below So better buckle up and hold on tight 'Cuz it's gonna be a bumpy ride tonight Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul A bumpy ride tonight Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul A bumpy ride tonight Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul A bumpy ride tonight [CROWD CHEERING.]
Yeah! Stage dive! [ANGELIC MUSC.]
[SPLASHES QUIETLY .]
Guys, that was awesome! [CROWD CHEERING.]
ALL: Zack! Good news! We've discussed it and you're back in the band.
Thanks, but I don't want to get back in the band.
Secret message received.
[WHISPERS.]
Practice tomorrow at four.
- It wasn't a secret message.
- Okay.
Okay nothing.
I'm not back in the band.
So rehearsal's on Saturday.
Is there any chance you can pick up pizza on the way? I'm not picking up anything.
- I'm not back in the - SLASH: Walk away, man.
[PLAYING GUITAR.]
Just walk away.
# Look at that sun Look at that sky # # Look at my sweater vest I look so fly # # Look at that mailbox Look at that tree # # It's about as beautiful as it can be # # Whoa # Today is gonna be exceptional Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # - # Whoa, whoa # - # we're all livin' in it # Never boring even for a minute # It's my world and we're all livin' in it # Yes, now! It's battle of the bands.
I think they'll notice if we don't have microphones.
- And you are? - Milo, Melissa, Zack and Mort.
I mean, the name of your band.
- Do we need a band name? - We're just getting started.
Well, welcome to Battle of the Bands.
- "Just Getting Started.
" - That's not what I meant.
Put this up in your practice area.
MELISSA: So this is our competition, huh? Yeah, but we're not here to battle.
We're just here to get experience playing in front of people.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
I like their band name.
"Bad Idea.
" - As in, bad idea if you have to follow them.
- Stop worrying.
Our only goal is to experience playing on stage.
All right guys, I got our wristbands.
[THUDS LOUDLY.]
- BAND MEMBER 1: You okay? - BAND MEMBER 2: Yeah.
I'm okay.
Guess I'll suit up now.
[CLANKING.]
Now we should be safe of any Murphy's Law-type activity.
Looks sturdy, but I'm still a little nervous.
[HICCUPS.]
Ugh.
Sorry.
I hiccup when I'm nervous.
We all had nerves when the Lumberzacks first started.
Sure, the costumes alone.
What exactly are you guys worried about? What if my bass goes out of tune between then and now? - That's not gonna happen.
- What if no one can hear us? Or I'm emotionally out of sync? - Or I have a sneezing fit? - A coughing fit.
- A giggle fit.
- A snoring fit.
- I'm a snorer.
- Mort, you'll be awake.
I'm preparing for all of the above, plus electrical fires, building instabilities, or llama stampedes.
Hey, guys.
There's no pressure for us to be perfect.
Everybody relax.
[INHALES AND EXHALES.]
Okay.
Thanks, Zack.
Okay, I'm going to go get some snacks.
You guys work on [SCREAMS.]
See you later, guys! relaxing.
I was never anxious about shopping carts.
Until now.
[HICCUPS.]
SHELLY: Lumbermax? Lumbermax?! I have your wristbands! Lumbermax? No, can't be.
- Lumbermax.
- We're right here.
Zack? What are you doing here? Hey, Max.
Lyle, Sean, Melvin.
Oh, we changed their names to Max too.
- Oh.
Hi, Maxes.
- ALL: Hi.
- You competing today? - It's actually our first gig.
So, we'll see how it goes.
I always appreciate some good competition.
I mean, we're really not focused on winning.
I hear you, friend.
I relish the rivalry.
But I don't want to be your rival.
I see what you did there.
A little reverse psyche.
I'm not reverse psyching anything.
You know.
How are you guys doing? We're making a comeback.
Touring, a new album, a music video.
And, there's a Lumbermax themed set of tools.
They sing when you saw.
How've you been? Good! I like my new school, and my friends.
Things are good.
Wow, you've had a rough time, why didn't you say? [CHUCKLES.]
No! I'm not having a rough time at all.
That's it, let those hard times fuel you.
I better get back to my band.
See you later.
Don't beat yourself up too much.
Second place is great for an amateur musician.
You know what? [LAUGHS.]
Okay! Okay! - You are not going to believe this.
- There's a saw that sings? I picked it up just in case, isn't it cool? Saw, saw, saw, saw away at my heart [NARRATOR READING.]
I ran into the Lumberzacks.
[CHUCKLES.]
They're called the Lumbermax now.
Well now all the good band names are taken.
Who are the Lumberzacks? - Is there some backstory that I'm not - It was the year 2016.
[ECHOES.]
Sorry, I had the reverb up all the way.
The year 2016 and the Lumberzacks were on tour.
We had been to shopping malls all over the quad-state area.
We sing together.
We danced together.
MILO: You wore flannel shirts together.
ZACK: But the pressure was too much.
We started partying constantly.
It was nonstop.
Then one day, a girl came between us.
- I was standing there.
- She can stand there.
- I was clearly on line.
- I don't think it was clear.
Just like that, we drove her away.
- So how did it end? - When I left, they didn't take it well.
- I'll see you guys.
Good luck.
- Okay.
[PLAYING VIDEO GAME.]
Plus they all changed their names to Max.
- So? - When I was the lead singer, they never changed their names to Zack.
- Did you want them to? - No, but that's not the point! And now they're convinced they're gonna win.
We have got to step up our game.
I thought you said to just relax and something.
I don't know what the rest was.
I I got carried off on a shopping cart.
If we don't sound great, these guys will really think I'm lost without them.
Wow, this is like one of those movies where there's one dance team from the streets and one dance team is classically trained, and they're both going to do this competition, but then the street team runs out of funding, so they have to raise the money, and then the classically trained dancer leaves the other team and joins them and teaches them the value of hard work.
Exactly! Now pick up your sticks! Melissa, pick up your bass.
Okay, but I'm telling you now, I'm not changing my name to Zack.
Milo, that accordion's not going to play itself.
Actually, it does, it has a self-play function right here.
That's cool, but another time! A one-two-three-four.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
No, stop! Start again.
One-two-three-four.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
Wait, no.
Not quite my tempo.
One-two-three-four.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[THUDS.]
[RATTLING.]
[DOGS WHIMPERING.]
- Stop! - What was wrong with that? Nothing yet, but I had a feeling something would be.
[DOGS WHIMPER.]
- I love puppies! - No back talk.
We can replace you with a drum machine.
- I play bass.
- Okay, then we'll replace Mort with a drum machine and he can play bass.
- I like puppies too.
- Yeah, so do I, but you don't see me destroying this band over it! - Well, actually - SHELLY: Just Getting Started.
Please, check in backstage.
All right, shake it off.
Put your differences aside.
Hands in.
One, two, three ALL: Just getting started! Yeah, we really need a better name.
[APPLAUDING.]
All right.
I'd like to introduce our judges.
Judge 1, Miss Whipley, the music teacher at Jefferson Middle School.
Judge 2, Mr.
Schmidt.
The manager of the Pets N Stuff U Feed 'Em store, whose parking lot, he's graciously offered for today's event.
And Judge 3, Slash.
[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
I'm a big fan, Mr.
Slash.
Can I have your autograph? Just call me Slash.
Mr.
Slash is my dad.
Let's hear it for our first band, Scott and the Undergrounders! [APPLAUDING.]
[GUITAR STRUMMING.]
# He shall be our leader # That That's it, that's all we have.
Okay.
Scott and the Undergrounders! [GAS HISSING.]
Yeah! Next up, the Lumbermaxes.
[APPLAUDING.]
Performing their new song, Saw, saw, saw, saw away at my heart.
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CROWD CHEERING.]
I know your pining But every cloud has got a silver lining All he did was change the word "Chop" to "Saw!" Zack, are you sure you're We've got to be great if we're going to beat them.
Is your bass tuned properly? Let me take a look at it.
My heart is strong - [PLAYS BASS.]
Um, okay.
- Yeah, yeah.
It seems okay to me.
Yeah.
Yeah You know what, I better just play this for you.
Yeah, I can play both at once.
Can't I? I mean, yeah, yeah.
I can do it.
- Yeah.
This'll work.
- Uh, Zack? Milo.
What about your accordion? Everything okay with it? - It's fine.
- Let me take a look.
[PLAYS ACCORDION.]
Yeah, looks good.
But you know, maybe, maybe I better play it, too.
Yeah, yeah.
I can I can handle this.
[HICCUPS.]
Mort.
Let me check those drums.
[PLAYS DRUM.]
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good to go.
Yeah, yeah.
This'll be fine.
I can do this.
Okay, Just Getting Started, is up next.
And on deck, is Reflective Randy and the See What You've Become's.
What have I become? Oh, guys, I'm so sorry.
- Can you guys forgive me? - Of course we can.
Yeah, because when the classically trained ballerina returns to the street team all repentant, not only do they win the dance competition, but they've all learned the true value of their friendship.
Exactly! This contest was about us playing music together, not about getting wrapped up in what my old friends think.
I say your new friends show your old friends, you don't need their singing saw.
Yeah, who needs more than one? So baby, saw, saw, saw, saw away at my heart Wow.
That's gonna be a hard act to beat.
Good luck to the next band.
Let's hear it for Just Getting Started! [APPLAUDING.]
[DRUM STICKS TICKING.]
[MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CLANKING.]
[CRASHES.]
[GROANS.]
Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul [GROANS.]
Jump and shout, just knock yourself out You're gonna wanna lose control We're all burnin' and churnin' [CROWD CHEERING.]
Twistin' and turnin.
' Sometimes you gotta let go Don't you know we got a slam, Big jam like a battering ram So you better look out below So better buckle up and hold on tight 'Cuz it's gonna be a bumpy ride tonight Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul A bumpy ride tonight Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul A bumpy ride tonight Boom, gun-powder, music gets louder Shakes you down to your soul A bumpy ride tonight [CROWD CHEERING.]
Yeah! Stage dive! [ANGELIC MUSC.]
[SPLASHES QUIETLY .]
Guys, that was awesome! [CROWD CHEERING.]
ALL: Zack! Good news! We've discussed it and you're back in the band.
Thanks, but I don't want to get back in the band.
Secret message received.
[WHISPERS.]
Practice tomorrow at four.
- It wasn't a secret message.
- Okay.
Okay nothing.
I'm not back in the band.
So rehearsal's on Saturday.
Is there any chance you can pick up pizza on the way? I'm not picking up anything.
- I'm not back in the - SLASH: Walk away, man.
[PLAYING GUITAR.]
Just walk away.