Sonny with a Chance (2009) s01e19 Episode Script

- I'm garry.
- And I'm larry.
And welcome to this week's " garry and larry.
" * when garry and larry sit down to chat * * they talk about this and they talk about that * * they laugh at their jokes and they blabber a lot * * but they really don't talk about squat * * garry and larry.
* - How was your week? - Pretty good.
- A little weird.
- Yeah, mine too.
- You know what's weird? - What? Eggs with ketchup.
Yeah, really.
Eggs with ketchup? i>- Now that's weird! - You know what else is weird? Pitted prunes.
I mean, shouldn't "pitted" mean it has a pit in it? You'll never ever find anything weirder than that.
Nothing weirder than that.
You know what else is weird? - What? How a dog will stick its face out of a car Going 55 miles an hour like - You know what else is weird? - What? How greenland is mainly ice Whilst iceland is mainly - Both: Green.
- Exactly.
It's like someone made a typo when they put it on the map And then was too embarrassed to change it.
- "I'm just gonna leave greenland greenland and iceland iceland.
" Just greenland and iceland.
Green is green, ice is ice, reversed.
If you guys can find anything weirder, Please, I beg of you, show it to us.
Because there is nothing weirder - Than that.
You hear something? That's weird.
Someone's doing the laundry.
- * off to the races, I'm going places * * might be a long shot, not gonna waste it * * this is the big break and it's calling my name * * yeah! * * so far, so great, get with it * * at least that's how I see it * * having a dream is just the beginning * * so far, so great, believe it * * can't take away this feeling * * taking a ride with chance on my side * * yeah, I can't wait * * so far, so great * i>- * so far, so great * - * yaooww! * I think "garry and larry" is my favorite sketch.
The cool part is I get to do it tonight on the show With my best bud.
And I get to do it tonight with my best bud! And tomorrow we get to see "monkey cars 3d"! But right now, a surprise party for you.
- And for you.
Shh.
Surprise! For us? Happy same birthday, nico and grady! Nico and grady.
Oh man, you guys should see your faces.
- They totally knew.
- They did not.
Actually, we did.
Well, great.
I guess you know That we also got you the x9000 gaming chair.
- Oh, no, we did not! - I didn't hear that! Well, in that case, surprise! It's just what we wanted.
It's perfect! - Sonny, this is the best gift ever! Well, what can I say? I've got a gift for giving gifts.
Thanks, sonny! It's a thing with my face on it! Yeah.
It's a mirror.
- Enjoy.
- Thanks, sonny.
You're the best gift-giver ever! The best! This is almost as good as the gift I got you.
A Spider! A tawni scream! Oh, it's just what I wanted! Thank you, sonny! Good times.
Good times.
Oh yeah.
- Sonny? - Oh hey, chad.
So, um, when is the party starting? Oh, this is it.
Really? Wow, these people look like The people who usually work at "mackenzie falls" parties.
You know what, chad? Nothing you say is gonna get me today Because I have brought the gift of joy.
Get your smelly butt outta the chair! Get your smelly butt outta my face! Wow, look at all that joy.
It's making the veins in grady's face pop out.
No no, that's just their thing.
My chair! - Oh, my arm! My arm! I want my money back for the gift.
I paid for the whole thing.
You hear that, everybody? Sonny admits it.
This is all her fault! Boo! So it looks like you won't be needing this.
There's cake over at the "falls"! Oh, that's rich! oh, sigh.
Oh, sigh.
Zora, are you gonna keep doing that till I ask you what's wrong? Oh, sigh.
- Oh-- - fine! Fine! What's wrong? Well, sonny's still dealing with the whole grady and nico mess, But she's supposed to take me to see giraffes on ice.
First the guys, now you Looks like sonny's been awfully generous With the gift of disappointment today.
I mean, usually I expect this from you, But not her.
How's this for unexpected: Grab your coat, 'cause aunt tawni's gonna take you to see "giraffes on ice"! - I was on a roll! - Level nine is not a roll.
Yeah? Well, of course you'd say that.
You can't get past level five.
- Your game stinks! - My game stinks? - Uh-huh uh-huh.
At least I've got a game where it counts! You've never kissed a girl! - Oh, guys, come on.
This is so-- Wait, really? Never kissed a girl? You know I'm waitin' for just the right lady.
Tick-tock, my friend, tick-tock! You guys, stop it.
There's no need for clock noises.
You know what-- do you know why - I got you one chair? - Because tawni didn't chip in? Partially, but-- - because you just couldn't carry two chairs? Also true, but-- - there was only one left in the store? Okay, stop it! Stop it.
This is exactly what I'm trying to say! I bought one chair because you're two peas in a pod.
Except now you're kind of acting like two pea-brains.
- No no no no no, he's the pea-brain.
- No, he's the pea-brain! Yeah, keep up the arguing, you two, and you'll never sit in this chair again.
- Both: No! - Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Until you two learn how to behave And act like adults, I'm taking this chair away.
- - May I push? - Stop it, just stop it.
I've got it.
See what happens now, guys.
Is it? Yeah, it lights up.
It's a cool chair.
That was horrifying.
How could you trick me like that? What? I told you that we were going to see giraffes on ice.
I thought it was a skating show, Not an animal morgue.
Zora, there were actual giraffes On actual ice.
What did you expect? Actual giraffes on actual skates? Oh, that's just sick.
oh.
Sad kid.
I've no idea what to do here.
Maybe there's something in this week's script.
Sad kid, sad kid, sad-- ah, here we go.
"hey, kid, why so sad?" Tawni said that she'd take me out for ice cream, But now she won't.
I guess I should've expected that from tawni, But you wouldn't disappoint me, Would you, chad? I don't-- I don't know what I would do.
You know what? I'm throwing out the script.
You're about to go get ice cream with tv's chad dylan cooper.
cool! I cannot believe you took me to that horrible place.
If I'd told you that we were going to see dead giraffes, - Would you have taken me? - No! * they laugh at their jokes and they blabber a lot * * but they really don't talk about squat * * garry and larry.
* - I'm garry.
- I'm larry.
And welcome to this week's " garry and larry.
" - How's your week so far? - Pretty good.
- A little weird.
- Yeah, mine too.
You know what's weird? I was on the bus the other day Wow, nico and grady are really getting along.
Thanks to me.
You know what's weird? One of my friends won't share! i>- - nico: You know what else is weird? That you've never kissed a girl! You know what else is weird? That he would stoop that low! - Don't you hit me! - Stop it.
Zora, get back out there! I'm not getting in the middle of that.
This is a bear head, not protective headgear.
- Chair hog! - Lamer gamer! Tick-tock, my friend.
Tick-tock! Guys, stop! I can't bear to see you fighting! Get it? "bear"? Now stop it.
You've been friends forever.
Just take a deep breath and tell each other what's really in your hearts.
You are dead to me! And it was all a dream.
I can't believe it.
I ruined their friendship, Their birthday and the show.
And our dressing room.
What are you talking about? Oh hey, sonny.
Can I hang out here for a while? well The answer you're looking for is "no!" We also accept "never" and " not in this lifetime.
" What do you think he wants? I don't know.
I guess he's just Looking for someone to hang out with until this all blows over.
If you actually think about it, it's kind of sweet.
Aw.
Get him out.
I guess we know what the pan's used for.
He made me an omelet yesterday! So This is what you and nico were planning on doing today.
Yeah, but since I'm not hanging out with him anymore, You get to have the fun.
Just wait, sonny.
Just wait.
sandwich for " pat maheiney.
" Hold on, hold on.
Pat maheiney.
Somebody, anybody pat maheiney? Come on, people.
Okay okay, now you go get it.
Pat maheiney.
Don't be shy.
But wouldn't it be more fun If say-- I don't know-- Nico were here to go get it? - No.
Please step up, pat maheiney.
I'm Pat maheiney.
Classic! Tawni, everyone in the cafeteria Thinks my name is pat maheiney.
- Ooh.
I really hope nico and grady make up soon.
I wouldn't count on it.
Why is your glass always half empty? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe because my dressing room Is always half full! Hey, sonny.
He used that to butter my toast this morning.
And here comes the omelet.
I bet grady had you do that stupid "pat maheiney" thing, huh? Well, I got something much better.
"smelma pits"? Somebody please.
Smelma pits.
That's-- that's me, isn't it? Yeah.
Hi.
I'm smelma pits.
I thought you were pat maheiney.
Hey, zora, have you seen sonny? We're supposed to be playing bike-tire horseshoes.
Nope.
Haven't seen her.
- Hey, zora, have you seen- - - both: You! - What are you doing here? - I'm gonna take sonny To go see "monkey cars 3d.
" Oh no.
I'm gonna take sonny to see " monkey cars 3d.
" She was a better nico to me than you ever were! Yeah? Well, she put your grady to shame! She was the best "pat maheiney" I ever had! - You take that back! - I will not! Pat maheiney.
- - Pat maheiney! - Ohh! - Pat maheiney! - Oh really? Smelma pits, smelma pits, smel-ma pits! - - pat maheiney! - Smelma pits! - Pat maheiney! - Smell my pits! - Pat maheiney! Phew.
That was close.
Hey, thanks for the hiding spot, zora.
If I do one more gross thing with either of those guys - I'm gonna puke.
- You know, you've got to start Calling the shots like I do with my two rubes.
Speaking of which, I need somebody to take me to "monkey cars 3d" tonight.
"sigh.
" You know what? You're right.
I need to stop giving nico and grady what they love And start giving them what they hate.
Thanks for coming, sonny.
This movie is gonna be awesome! I know, I can't wait! Two tickets for-- - "five weddings and a wedding," please.
What? No no no no no.
We're gonna go see " monkey cars 3d.
" Uh, no, we're not.
Why? - Don't like monkeys.
Don't like cars.
but it's in 3d! Pretty! Well, sorry, but I'm not nico.
- - now hold my purse And I'll meet you inside, okay? Here you go.
- Hey, sonny! - Hey! Wow.
So good to be here with a real friend.
Well, I'm excited to see the movie.
- Me too.
Two tickets for-- - "sisterhood of the traveling secret princesses," please.
What?! No! "monkey cars 3d"! It's got explosions and monkeys in 3d! Well, "sisterhood" has three ds too-- Depth, devotion, And dreams.
- What about the monkey cars? Don't like monkeys.
Don't like cars - they're in 3d.
Sorry, but I'm not grady.
Now hold my purse And get ready for three and a half hours of sisterhood! Thank you.
Movie woman: Oh my gosh, I'm getting married! Movie woman #2: Oh my gosh, I'm getting married too! did you hear that? They're both getting married! - Two down.
Three more to go.
And then one more.
Shh! Movie woman: I can't believe it.
We got the same dress.
I will never be able to un-see this.
I'll be right back.
Movie woman: It's not just a tiara.
It's a key that opens a door To a secret unicorn stable.
I don't know what any of those words mean.
It's just So special! - Do you need a tissue? - I'm good.
Good.
Oh no.
That was my last one.
I'm get some more before they ride their rainbows to magic land.
Oh hey, sonny.
How's it going for you in there? Hey.
Great.
What about you? Great! Monkeys, cars, 3d? All I need now is some licorice and a mushie.
Well, if I know you, you'll get it.
Gotta go.
Here comes the sing-along part.
Sing-along? What's the sing-along? * five weddings * - Oh no.
- * and a wedding * * that makes a whole lot of weddings * - Yeah! - * five weddings * * and a wedding * * that makes a whole lot of weddings.
* It's like they're flinging it right at you! Sorry! Curse you, smelma pits! Movie woman #2: My head fits in the tiara too! That makes us sisters and princesses.
This is the part Where they all whisper into their dream pillows.
No! Shh! - Oh shoot.
I forgot my- - - I'll get it! Let me leave and I'll get you anything you want! - - all: Shh! - She wants another soda? - All: Shh! - I'll have a soda - I'll have a soda And that last jalapeno cheddar nachos! - What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? I suppose you're seeing "monkey cars 3d"! - I wish.
- Oh, me too.
You mean, you're not either? No, I was supposed to go see it with you.
I was supposed to go see it with you.
- - some birthday, huh? worst birthday ever.
You know what? You know what? In the movie that I was just watching, When the women made up, They talked a lot about their feelings And about how much they missed their best friend.
Well I just suffered through this movie Where there was one tiara, But all the secret princesses learned to share it.
Yeah, that's the one I saw.
So do we need to have a big teary conversation Where we make up? We could do that, or i>- - This is awesome! Whoa, dude, it's like they're flinging it right at us! Yeah! So, sonny, to say we're sorry for being such jerks And to say thank you for the excellent birthday gifts, We'd like to get you some eats.
Aw, you guys.
You're so sweet.
And we promise we will never be that immature again.
- Nico: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- "ivanna tinkle.
" - Help me out here.
Ivanna tinkle.
- - okay, we done.
No more.
- - "soomah pantsoff.
" Soomah pantsoff.
That was yours.
Th was yours.
I'm a lawyer! I'm a lawyer! Uh, mark Getsetgo.
- Crazy! - It's like a race.
Okay.
- Rippa bigwon.
- Rippa bigwon.
Okay, now that was good.
We-- we-- we didn't do that one.