Batman s01e20 Episode Script

A piece of cake, just like the boss said.
All it took was five minutes.
And that'll get you five years with good behavior.
Birdseed? Roberta, it's got a walkie-talkie wristband a penlight, binoculars, even this cool badge.
Yo, Sherwood, what you got there? It's a junior detective kit, and the name's Sherman.
A fake, just like you, Wormwood.
Whoa! Check this out.
A hawk.
Come on, Frank, those are mine.
Give it back.
Can't you find any of your own species to play with? Don't pitch a fit, we're just kidding around.
Hey, that's no hawk.
Judging by its wingspread and the shape of its head it's obviously a giant South American vulture.
A vulture in Gotham City? Sure thing, Sherlock.
Come on, Roberta.
Sherman, where we going? A vulture in Gotham City is a mystery worth checking out.
Come on, Roberta.
It went in there.
Sherman, the sign says it's condemned.
You shouldn't go in.
Men.
- I don't like it.
- Cop a squat and dummy up, Jay.
If the boss said to meet him back here, we meet him here.
What's that? It's just birdseed, birdbrain.
Come on! Let's get out of here! The Penguin.
Scrap, my faithful pet.
Ready for a ripe repast? - That bald buzzard gives me the willies.
- Lf it weren't for Scrap you two would be feathering your nest at Stonegate Penitentiary.
Now, where is it? Oh, how much more doth beauty beauteous seem by this sweet egg, which we have scrambled for? They stole the von Ulster Fabergé egg.
The what? - Don't you read the papers? - Do the comics count? That thing's worth a fortune.
We gotta tell someone.
Batman! Get that capon crusader.
Batman.
Get out, now! Yes, sir.
You should've taken your own advice.
You should've taken your own advice.
Batman's in trouble.
Come on.
I don't know about this.
It's those delinquents.
Stop them! - Quick, inside.
- Sherman, do something! We gotta get out of here.
What am I doing? I'm not old enough to drive.
I can't reach the pedals.
I can.
Push that long one.
Hit it again.
Okay, Roberta, floor it! Befouled by a couple of fledglings.
Keep it going.
I think I'm starting to get the hang of this.
Come on, Batman, this'll help.
It's okay.
My name's Sherman, and I'm a detective too.
We're lying low in my basement.
We got the egg down here too.
See? This is my crime lab.
- It's not exactly the Batcave.
- Capsule "Cap" what? No, you're not captured, Batman.
You're safe here.
It's just Mom and me, and she's at work.
Oh, yeah, and Roberta's here.
She's cool.
No.
Visor - I wonder what that meant? - Don't look at me.
I've had enough mystery for one day.
I'm calling the police.
No way! A detective always has to protect the identity of his client especially when it's this client.
Those meddling brats couldn't have gotten too far.
But, boss, what about the Batman? Batman's a worm, less than nothing, a worthless peasant.
And besides, the gas will keep him null and void for a good week.
Sherman, what are you doing down there? Nothing, Mom.
You're not trying to make gunpowder again, are you? - No, Mom, honest.
- We saved Batman's life, Mrs.
Grant and now we're hiding him from bad criminals.
That's good, just don't make a mess.
Nice going, Miss Bigmouth.
Sorry, Sherman.
I guess I panicked.
I'm going to the store, Sherman.
- Stay out of trouble.
- Sure thing, Mom.
- Afternoon, Mrs.
Grant.
- Lovely day, isn't it? He's up! He shoots! It looks good! Oh, no! Man, oh, man! Scope out these wheels.
You guys better leave that alone.
Oh, golly, we sure are scared, aren't we, Nicholas? Oh, yes, Francis, we certainly are.
Step aside, Shirley.
Cool.
Whose car is this? It's my mom My uncle's All right, look, it's the Batmobile.
Yeah, right.
Hey, I don't think he's kidding.
What's this? Some kind of capsules.
Capsule? Capsule in the visor.
That's what he meant.
Give me that! It's a matter of life or death.
No! Come on, Batman, wake up.
It's him! Totally awesome! - I wonder who he really is.
- No! Get back! This isn't a game, you jerks.
If the vulture's here that means the Penguin's on his tail.
- The Penguin? - The Penguin? Oh, no! What's that? Oh, great! It's him.
That's it.
I'm calling 911.
It's dead.
So much for phone calls, huh, boss? Then it's them or us.
Be careful with that egg, Roberta.
I bet we can find something here to help us.
I don't think anyone's home.
The place is locked up tight.
Stone walls do not a prison make nor locked doors a barricade.
Gentlemen, and I use the term loosely after you.
Okay, get ready for operation Fowl Play.
How bourgeois.
Tearing this place apart could only improve it.
Let the egg hunt begin.
Hey, Raven, are you o? These commoners have such cheap furniture.
Come on, Batman, snap out of it.
If that didn't wake him, I don't know what will.
Charge! Now, Roberta! Nice shot.
Be careful, Roberta, you don't wanna get too close.
We did it! Children defending their nest.
How noble.
How endearing.
How ineffective.
Grab the little pests! He's not awake yet? Frank thought he saw his eye blink.
Valiant effort, but I win.
Now, back away, you irksome imps.
A treat with my egg.
Sliced ham.
No! Farewell, Bat-vermin.
Back off, Penguin.
Gentlemen, your timing is impeccable.
Take no prisoners! I'll clip your wings, you flying rodent.
Still a little dazed, are we? We're safe! My house! Sherman! Maybe you're safe.
Young man, you've got some serious explaining to do.
Mom, I'd like you to meet Batman.
Batman, this is my mom.
- Ma'am.
- Hello.
Say, Batman, you wouldn't be single, would you? Now, where was I? Someone keeps swiping Mr.
Vanducci's newspaper? Right, Frank.
You and Nick set up for surveillance.
Roberta and I will be at Mrs.
Fineman's.
Her dog is missing.
You're the boss.
- Sherman.
- Sherman.