Batman (1966) s01e20 Episode Script
Better Luck Next Time (2)
So far, we have seen a cat burglar strike.
Commissioner Gordon get a gift.
'X' mark the cat.
Catwoman bare her claws.
Batman and Robin on guard.
Robin, get it in the neck.
Saved by Batman.
"Open Sesame.
" "Is this trick necessary?" Sharp tactics.
Two mice in a cat-trap.
Robin catapulted.
The lady or the tiger.
'Cat-tastrophe'.
And now, after a moment's cat's paws we'll continue.
Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na Batman You can't stay there forever, Batman.
Your hands will lose their strength.
Not while I have a breath left.
It's been a long time between bites for Tinker Bell.
You should take better care of him, Catwoman.
After all, pets are a responsibility.
Batman, it's been fun, but all good things must come to an end.
And the goodest ending I can think of is yours.
It's not ended yet.
'It will soon.
' 'It's a pity I can't stay and watch' but you know how I hate the sight of blood.
TTFN.
'And what's that supposed to mean?' "Ta-Ta For Now.
" I'm off to pluck Robin's feathers.
Calling on his fantastic storehouse of audio engineering knowledge Batman, nimbly reverses the polarity on his communicator.
.
then increases the audio modulation to about 20,000 decibels knowing full well, it will split the tiger's skull.
Don't bother, Robin, you wouldn't know to get out of here even if you get loose.
Just you wait, Catwoman.
Batman will be here in a minute and you'll be sorry.
He'll have to come a long way.
We know what you're up to.
Is that so? Tell me more.
You wanna steal Mark Andrews' collection Well, it just won't work.
The place is surrounded by police.
Thanks for that information but that doesn't change my plans one bit.
You're racing up the wrong alley.
Felix, Leo, take Robin down and clip his wings.
What now, Cowled Crusader? Is that a "Cul-de-sac"? Did you weigh him? Is that sand ready? All ready, Catwoman.
Good, I'll baste him.
Purr-fect.
To the pit with him.
The sand.
Catwoman.
You are not a nice person.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha You must be curious, Boy Wonder, why this strange feeding method.
I'm always interested in the workings of the criminal mind.
My pets are orderly beasts and must be fed on time.
'So, when enough sand runs out' Dinner is served.
Precious moments lost.
There's only one possible way out.
Well.
.
I have personal engagements elsewhere.
My untrustworthy aides will take care of the details.
Felix, Leo.
.
I'll meet you two later.
'Right, Catwoman.
Farewell, my lovely.
'Give my best to Batman when you see him' at that great scratching post in the sky.
As the sands of time run out for the Boy Wonder.
.
We'll tie him up, Robin then we'll call headquarters and have O'Hara's men come pick 'em up.
'Batman, he's trying to escape.
' Maybe we can still catch him.
Better still, Let's investigate this lair.
Perhaps, we'll find Catwoman.
Yeah, okay, Charlie, okay.
Yes? Oh, Boy Wonder, now I just returned from a late session at the mayor's office.
Uh, he wants action, fast.
- 'Anything I can tell him?' - Yes, commissioner.
We've captured one of Catwoman's mob.
Chief O'Hara can pick him up at the Gato and Chat warehouse at 2809 West 20th street.
Wonderful, but tell me, uh, is there any word on Catwoman? She and her right-hand man Leo made a clean getaway.
But, we found the cats in her office.
'That should take some pressure off.
' 'Does Batman have any inkling of Catwoman's whereabouts?' No, sir.
Any word from the stake-out at the Andrews' house? Now, I'm in constant contact with them, Boy Wonder.
But, uh, there's no sign of Catwoman.
Nothing at the Andrews' house.
Well.
.
then the next move is up to us.
Tell the commissioner we'll be in touch.
Commissioner, we'll be in touch.
Over and out and good luck.
To all of us.
I don't understand why Catwoman would leave these behind.
Especially, after going to such great lengths to steal them.
Perhaps, she had another use for them.
We'll find out when we examine.
Besides, she really didn't leave them behind.
She probably, expected to return.
They've got to be the answer.
Well, we've tried everything.
The Metal Analyzer, the Spectroscope.
.
both negative.
No hidden compartments.
I just don't understand it.
Look at the back of this cat, Robin, what do you see? Just some funny markings.
Why? Look at the other one.
Wellsome different markings.
These cats are supposed to be identical.
Wait a moment.
Something just occurred to me.
There's an obscure legend.
These cats once belonged to the notorious pirate Captain Manx.
Isn't he the pirate who willed his treasure to the underprivileged children of Gotham City? As a sort of repayment for all the havoc he wreaked on the city's ships when it was first founded? The unique thing about the legend is that they never recovered one gold doubloon.
Holy felony.
Do you think Catwoman stumbled on to this? We'll know as soon as I find the information here in the second volume of 'The History of Gotham City'.
What happened? Where's Felix? It's a long story.
Well, I don't have time for long stories.
Where are the cats? You did save the cats, didn't you? Batman got 'em.
Batman got them! Well, that does it.
That's another fine mess you got us into, Leo.
Alright.
Let's hit up the Batman reception.
Now that Batman has got the cats he's bound to figure out their secret.
Put alternate Plan B into effect.
Great Scott, I found it.
It's just as I remembered it.
Look here, Robin.
This is the shape of Gotham city in those days.
Since then, a lot more land has been added.
But does this pattern look familiar to you.
Holy geography, of course! That's the same markings we found when you put the two cats together.
Holy geography, indeed, Robin.
Without each other, these two cats are useless.
But when put together, they form a map that will lead us right to the hidden treasure chest of Pirate Captain Manx himself.
Gosh, Batman! 'Now the question is' Where is Catwoman? Hmm.
Look, Catwoman still had these cats in her possession.
We'd have no trouble finding her.
That radioactive spray we used still shows up.
Yes, you are absolutely correct.
Don't hold that cat so close to your face.
'Some of the radioactive spray may rub off on you.
' Right, I should have thought of that myself.
Batman.
'Yes, Robin.
' If someone were to hold these cats close enough and long enough.
Do you suppose, some of the radioactivity might show up on the person? Yes, quite possibly.
Well, Catwoman was holding the cats.
And.
.
And we switch on the Bat-o-meter.
Batman! The Bat-o-meter's going crazy.
Of course, the cats are disturbing the calibration.
Better put them in the lead shielding compartment.
There, there Batman! 'There's the blip.
' 'She's out on McGilroy.
.
' There's only one road leading into that area.
And if the Catwoman knows we are coming, she'll be ready for us.
Better use the Bat-armor.
Let's go! - 'Did you get the road mine?' - Yes, ma'am.
Good.
I've got the spot in the cave marked.
Get the tools.
At last.
.
the plunder of a dozen galleys.
Diamonds, rubies, emeralds.
Never again to face deprivation.
From now on, pussy will ooze galore.
I'm rich! We are rich, Catwoman.
How? They thought we were after the Mark Andrew's collection.
They thought they were dealing with an ordinary cat burglar.
Here.
'Fill this up.
' 'That chest is so clumsy.
' And now there's just two of us left to share it.
Yeah.
Justtwo of us.
Just as I thought, she has mined the road with explosives.
No wonder, you had me put on the Bat-armor.
Gosh! You really think of everything, Batman.
What's that? Although the Bat-armor protected our car.
Those land mines blew our tires.
Robin, turn on the automatic tire repair device.
She's within a hundred feet of here.
'Yeah, but where?' What about those footprints.
Only one man has feet that big.
There must be an opening somewhere near here.
Boy, I wonder what my end's gonna be? Argh.
This.
There's never enough for two.
Stay right where you are, Catwoman.
Don't! Don't do it, Catwoman.
You'll never make that jump with what you're carrying.
Just watch me, Batman.
- Batman! - Help me.
Hang on, Catwoman.
When I thrown the Bat-rope, reach out and catch it.
I'm afraid.
Let go of the bag, Catwoman.
Then you'll be able to catch the rope with your free hand.
I can't let go of it.
Drop it, Catwoman.
Otherwise you'll fall into that bottomless pit.
Nothing's worth that.
I can't let go.
I can't! Catwoman! Can you hear me? Catwoman! It's no use, Robin.
She probably went straight to the bottom.
Why didn't she let go of the bag? Didn't she know, what would happen? Greed is an overpowering emotion, Robin.
It sometimes dims all the senses even that of self-preservation.
I suppose in the end that's what trips up all criminals.
You think she might still be alive? A cat is supposed to have nine lives.
It's hard to say.
Bishop.
Queen six.
Third level.
This will take a minute, Bruce.
I didn't figure on that move at all.
Uh.
Begging your pardon, Master Dick.
But ah.
.
A knight takes bishop play.
Might seem in order here.
Thank you, Alfred.
Ah, in that case.
Queen takes knight and checkmate.
'I said no, you devil!' Oh, honestly.
.
- 'I couldn't have--' - 'What's wrong, Aunt Harriet?' It's this infernal cat.
The little heathen stole the lobster I was preparing for your dinner.
This cat is a thief.
And we are doing our best to rehabilitate.
Well, it steals everything it can it's paws on.
'You have to understand, Aunt Harriet.
' The cat comes from a broken home.
Master Dick.
Next week, "The Return of the Penguin.
" Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Na-na na-na na-na na-na na Batman
Commissioner Gordon get a gift.
'X' mark the cat.
Catwoman bare her claws.
Batman and Robin on guard.
Robin, get it in the neck.
Saved by Batman.
"Open Sesame.
" "Is this trick necessary?" Sharp tactics.
Two mice in a cat-trap.
Robin catapulted.
The lady or the tiger.
'Cat-tastrophe'.
And now, after a moment's cat's paws we'll continue.
Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na Batman You can't stay there forever, Batman.
Your hands will lose their strength.
Not while I have a breath left.
It's been a long time between bites for Tinker Bell.
You should take better care of him, Catwoman.
After all, pets are a responsibility.
Batman, it's been fun, but all good things must come to an end.
And the goodest ending I can think of is yours.
It's not ended yet.
'It will soon.
' 'It's a pity I can't stay and watch' but you know how I hate the sight of blood.
TTFN.
'And what's that supposed to mean?' "Ta-Ta For Now.
" I'm off to pluck Robin's feathers.
Calling on his fantastic storehouse of audio engineering knowledge Batman, nimbly reverses the polarity on his communicator.
.
then increases the audio modulation to about 20,000 decibels knowing full well, it will split the tiger's skull.
Don't bother, Robin, you wouldn't know to get out of here even if you get loose.
Just you wait, Catwoman.
Batman will be here in a minute and you'll be sorry.
He'll have to come a long way.
We know what you're up to.
Is that so? Tell me more.
You wanna steal Mark Andrews' collection Well, it just won't work.
The place is surrounded by police.
Thanks for that information but that doesn't change my plans one bit.
You're racing up the wrong alley.
Felix, Leo, take Robin down and clip his wings.
What now, Cowled Crusader? Is that a "Cul-de-sac"? Did you weigh him? Is that sand ready? All ready, Catwoman.
Good, I'll baste him.
Purr-fect.
To the pit with him.
The sand.
Catwoman.
You are not a nice person.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha You must be curious, Boy Wonder, why this strange feeding method.
I'm always interested in the workings of the criminal mind.
My pets are orderly beasts and must be fed on time.
'So, when enough sand runs out' Dinner is served.
Precious moments lost.
There's only one possible way out.
Well.
.
I have personal engagements elsewhere.
My untrustworthy aides will take care of the details.
Felix, Leo.
.
I'll meet you two later.
'Right, Catwoman.
Farewell, my lovely.
'Give my best to Batman when you see him' at that great scratching post in the sky.
As the sands of time run out for the Boy Wonder.
.
We'll tie him up, Robin then we'll call headquarters and have O'Hara's men come pick 'em up.
'Batman, he's trying to escape.
' Maybe we can still catch him.
Better still, Let's investigate this lair.
Perhaps, we'll find Catwoman.
Yeah, okay, Charlie, okay.
Yes? Oh, Boy Wonder, now I just returned from a late session at the mayor's office.
Uh, he wants action, fast.
- 'Anything I can tell him?' - Yes, commissioner.
We've captured one of Catwoman's mob.
Chief O'Hara can pick him up at the Gato and Chat warehouse at 2809 West 20th street.
Wonderful, but tell me, uh, is there any word on Catwoman? She and her right-hand man Leo made a clean getaway.
But, we found the cats in her office.
'That should take some pressure off.
' 'Does Batman have any inkling of Catwoman's whereabouts?' No, sir.
Any word from the stake-out at the Andrews' house? Now, I'm in constant contact with them, Boy Wonder.
But, uh, there's no sign of Catwoman.
Nothing at the Andrews' house.
Well.
.
then the next move is up to us.
Tell the commissioner we'll be in touch.
Commissioner, we'll be in touch.
Over and out and good luck.
To all of us.
I don't understand why Catwoman would leave these behind.
Especially, after going to such great lengths to steal them.
Perhaps, she had another use for them.
We'll find out when we examine.
Besides, she really didn't leave them behind.
She probably, expected to return.
They've got to be the answer.
Well, we've tried everything.
The Metal Analyzer, the Spectroscope.
.
both negative.
No hidden compartments.
I just don't understand it.
Look at the back of this cat, Robin, what do you see? Just some funny markings.
Why? Look at the other one.
Wellsome different markings.
These cats are supposed to be identical.
Wait a moment.
Something just occurred to me.
There's an obscure legend.
These cats once belonged to the notorious pirate Captain Manx.
Isn't he the pirate who willed his treasure to the underprivileged children of Gotham City? As a sort of repayment for all the havoc he wreaked on the city's ships when it was first founded? The unique thing about the legend is that they never recovered one gold doubloon.
Holy felony.
Do you think Catwoman stumbled on to this? We'll know as soon as I find the information here in the second volume of 'The History of Gotham City'.
What happened? Where's Felix? It's a long story.
Well, I don't have time for long stories.
Where are the cats? You did save the cats, didn't you? Batman got 'em.
Batman got them! Well, that does it.
That's another fine mess you got us into, Leo.
Alright.
Let's hit up the Batman reception.
Now that Batman has got the cats he's bound to figure out their secret.
Put alternate Plan B into effect.
Great Scott, I found it.
It's just as I remembered it.
Look here, Robin.
This is the shape of Gotham city in those days.
Since then, a lot more land has been added.
But does this pattern look familiar to you.
Holy geography, of course! That's the same markings we found when you put the two cats together.
Holy geography, indeed, Robin.
Without each other, these two cats are useless.
But when put together, they form a map that will lead us right to the hidden treasure chest of Pirate Captain Manx himself.
Gosh, Batman! 'Now the question is' Where is Catwoman? Hmm.
Look, Catwoman still had these cats in her possession.
We'd have no trouble finding her.
That radioactive spray we used still shows up.
Yes, you are absolutely correct.
Don't hold that cat so close to your face.
'Some of the radioactive spray may rub off on you.
' Right, I should have thought of that myself.
Batman.
'Yes, Robin.
' If someone were to hold these cats close enough and long enough.
Do you suppose, some of the radioactivity might show up on the person? Yes, quite possibly.
Well, Catwoman was holding the cats.
And.
.
And we switch on the Bat-o-meter.
Batman! The Bat-o-meter's going crazy.
Of course, the cats are disturbing the calibration.
Better put them in the lead shielding compartment.
There, there Batman! 'There's the blip.
' 'She's out on McGilroy.
.
' There's only one road leading into that area.
And if the Catwoman knows we are coming, she'll be ready for us.
Better use the Bat-armor.
Let's go! - 'Did you get the road mine?' - Yes, ma'am.
Good.
I've got the spot in the cave marked.
Get the tools.
At last.
.
the plunder of a dozen galleys.
Diamonds, rubies, emeralds.
Never again to face deprivation.
From now on, pussy will ooze galore.
I'm rich! We are rich, Catwoman.
How? They thought we were after the Mark Andrew's collection.
They thought they were dealing with an ordinary cat burglar.
Here.
'Fill this up.
' 'That chest is so clumsy.
' And now there's just two of us left to share it.
Yeah.
Justtwo of us.
Just as I thought, she has mined the road with explosives.
No wonder, you had me put on the Bat-armor.
Gosh! You really think of everything, Batman.
What's that? Although the Bat-armor protected our car.
Those land mines blew our tires.
Robin, turn on the automatic tire repair device.
She's within a hundred feet of here.
'Yeah, but where?' What about those footprints.
Only one man has feet that big.
There must be an opening somewhere near here.
Boy, I wonder what my end's gonna be? Argh.
This.
There's never enough for two.
Stay right where you are, Catwoman.
Don't! Don't do it, Catwoman.
You'll never make that jump with what you're carrying.
Just watch me, Batman.
- Batman! - Help me.
Hang on, Catwoman.
When I thrown the Bat-rope, reach out and catch it.
I'm afraid.
Let go of the bag, Catwoman.
Then you'll be able to catch the rope with your free hand.
I can't let go of it.
Drop it, Catwoman.
Otherwise you'll fall into that bottomless pit.
Nothing's worth that.
I can't let go.
I can't! Catwoman! Can you hear me? Catwoman! It's no use, Robin.
She probably went straight to the bottom.
Why didn't she let go of the bag? Didn't she know, what would happen? Greed is an overpowering emotion, Robin.
It sometimes dims all the senses even that of self-preservation.
I suppose in the end that's what trips up all criminals.
You think she might still be alive? A cat is supposed to have nine lives.
It's hard to say.
Bishop.
Queen six.
Third level.
This will take a minute, Bruce.
I didn't figure on that move at all.
Uh.
Begging your pardon, Master Dick.
But ah.
.
A knight takes bishop play.
Might seem in order here.
Thank you, Alfred.
Ah, in that case.
Queen takes knight and checkmate.
'I said no, you devil!' Oh, honestly.
.
- 'I couldn't have--' - 'What's wrong, Aunt Harriet?' It's this infernal cat.
The little heathen stole the lobster I was preparing for your dinner.
This cat is a thief.
And we are doing our best to rehabilitate.
Well, it steals everything it can it's paws on.
'You have to understand, Aunt Harriet.
' The cat comes from a broken home.
Master Dick.
Next week, "The Return of the Penguin.
" Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Na-na na-na na-na na-na na Batman