Bizaardvark (2016) s01e20 Episode Script

1 Man: In Your Space! Buckle up, Internet.
Only two days until the new season of your favorite Web reality show In Your Space! I'm your host, Ian Your Space.
I changed my name, legally, 'cause that's how much I love this game.
This new season is gonna be even more up in your space, because we're going to the Vuuugle Studios in Los Angeles! Oh, I can't believe we got picked to be on our favorite reality show! Oh! It's gonna be so much fun! Yeah, and Team Bizaardvark is gonna win this thing! Awkward high-five! Both: Eh! Eh! Eh! Aww! Not so fast.
Amelia and I got picked as a team, too.
And even though I've never seen this show, I feel like we're gonna do really good at the stuff that I don't know what it is.
Dirk, the game is simple.
Every season they go to a different company, lock employees in for the weekend, and pit them against each other in different physical and mental challenges.
Then you vote people out, and the last team standing gets $25,000! Got it.
What about the last team sitting? Okay, I'll obviously be handling all the mental challenges.
And fair warning, ladies: When I play a game, I play it hard, fierce, and tough.
I'm all in! You know they don't let you shower for the entire weekend, right? I'm out! I'm out too, y'all.
No.
I'm definitely staying.
I haven't showered in three weeks.
- (blows) - (screams) Both: You could spend all day On a swing eating a baguette But why do boring things like that When there's the Internet? Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! - Let's go make some videos - Hey! You could watch Dirk doing crazy dares - Saying, "Here we go" - Here we go! He'll do anything you want Just don't try this at home Or watch Amelia teaching ya How to look your best Making over people is her never-ending quest You could watch Do you have constant foot odor? You could watch us make ridiculously funny videos Like the one with evil pop-up books That punch you in the nose Let's go make some videos Hey! Hey! Let's go make some videos And I I missed it! Okay, Paige, we need to have a hardcore meeting about our strategy for totally dominating In Your Space! and crushing the souls of all our opponents.
Don't you think you're being a little extreme? Let's see.
Hardcore, dominating, crushing souls No.
If anything, I held back.
Frankie, you know In Your Space! is my favorite show.
I really want to have fun with you on it.
Can you please not do that thing you do where you get super competitive? Super competitive? Me? When do I ever get competitive? Charades.
Last New Year's Eve.
Oh, no, don't bring that up again! How was I supposed to get this? A Tale of Two Cities.
Okay, it makes sense now! But we lost.
We lost! We're losers! Okay, maybe I am a little competitive.
Look, we both love this show, but I don't want to let winning or losing get in the way of us having a good time.
So can you promise me you won't be too competitive? Okay, I promise.
You're arm wrestling me right now! Two out of three! (knocking on door) Ooh, the mailman's early today.
Coming.
Oh.
Bernie's ex-fake girlfriend.
I forget, did I like you? Everyone does.
Good, one less decision to make.
Is Bernard expecting you? Grandma, we need more Luckie Duckie cereal.
I had my doubts, but it really is "Quack-Quack-Quackin' Good!" 'Sup, girl? I hope y'all don't mind me barging in like this, but In Your Space! is live streaming and the Wi-Fi at my house is down.
Do you guys have Internet? We don't pay for it, but yes.
If you want you can watch it here.
Really? Bernie Schotz, you're my hero.
Is this the beginning of love Whoa.
So the Internet? Okay, B-Money.
The girl of your dreams came to your house, touched your shoulder, and called you her hero.
It's time to show her the kind of man you really are.
Bernie! Can I delete your Princess Puppy shows fromthe DVR? I don't know what you're talking about! Not the finale.
It's the "Royal Ball.
" (upbeat music plays) It's time to get In Your Space! I'm your host, Ian Finkelman.
My dad made me change my name back! Let's meet our contestants! Paige and Frankie from Bizaardvark! We're not here to make friends.
Ian: Bagpipe Ninja and that guy from the Sore Loser Channel.
We're not here to make friends.
Ian: Horse Face Guy and Dare Me Bro! I'm really just here to make friends.
Ian: And finally, you know them from Prank Town, Victor and Teddy! - Victor! - Victor! I didn't know he was in the game! He's here to ruin Bizaardvark! Ladies, relax.
That was the old Victor.
The one who pranked people who didn't deserve it.
But I learned something: Were those pranks really that funny? Without a doubt.
But I felt empty inside.
Isn't that right, Teddy? Yeah, man.
You're like enlightened now.
I even shut down Prank Town and traveled the world promoting my new channel, Thank Town.
Hey, my good man.
How would you like a brand-new refrigerator? Uh okay.
I guess.
And what's this, a wedding cake? Cool.
You're gonna need it, because I just convinced your ex-girlfriend to move back in with you.
Wendy? Oh, Wendy! Looks like I just took this worthwhile individual to Thank Town.
I know I've wronged you in the past, but I'm a changed man.
Thank you, for giving me a second chance.
That was unsettling.
Don't worry.
This game is ours.
We're the team to beat! (sirens blaring) Uh-oh, that's the surprise twist siren! And the twist is, this season there are no teams! (gasps) The person you thought was your ally is now your enemy.
It's every player for themself, and only one of you can win $25,000! (gasps) What did I miss? There weren't any surprise twists, were there? Frankie, we're not a team anymore.
Don't worry.
They can't turn us against each other.
Are you trying to thumb wrestle me right now? Nope.
Sneak attack! I win.
Sorry.
Our first challenge is called "Sumoji.
" Each player starts inside the circle and tries to bump out the others with their Sumoji suits.
Last player left wins The Backstabber.
(gasps) I named it that.
This sword gives you an advantage in the game.
It lets you eliminate anyone, at any time.
Paige and I made a secret alliance.
Even though we're not officially a team, we're still gonna work together, be the final two contestants, and split the prize money! The key is to make people think we're not in an alliance.
We've just gotta play it cool.
No, you're going down! Because I am not in an alliance with you! Start the game, Ian.
Okay, players ready? Sumoji! Hey, man, we haven't had the chance to chat, but I think we could be really good friends.
Cool! We've already have our own secret handshake! Oh! There goes the guy from the Sore Loser Channel.
This game is a joke! The floor is clearly uneven! I'm calling my lawyer! Violence is never the answer.
Yes! Aw, man, I'm out or whatever.
Frankie, what was that? I don't know.
I didn't I Oh! We have a winner! Victor from Thank Town gets the Backstabber! Oh, my.
I am truly blessed.
But I don't want to eliminate anyone from the game.
Instead, I'd like to give this sword to a charity that benefits the backstab-less.
Wow.
This is why I do this.
Hey, can we talk in the phone booth? I don't want the show filming this and adding cheesy music to everything I say.
What the heck happened in the Sumoji game? I don't know.
Someone must have pushed me.
But there was no one around you.
Paige, I swear, I didn't do it on purpose.
I trust Frankie.
I don't know what happened back there, but it must have been an accident.
Right? I love this show! I came here to make friends and so far I'm doing great.
Sore Loser Guy is an awesome dude! I feel like we really connected.
Yeah, I'm voting Dirk off tonight.
Players, in a moment, you will write down the name of the person you want eliminated from the game on your tablets.
I don't know why they're making such a dramatic deal out of all of this.
I vote someone out of my life every day.
Don't mind me, just doing my living room lunges.
Hope my muscles don't get in the way.
No, you're barely blocking anything.
Whatever.
I'll just be over here rustling calves.
Okay, players.
Show me who you want out of your space! Oh.
Well, okay.
Well, we normally do it one by one, but all right.
Uh-oh.
Sore Loser Guy, looks like you're going home! No fair! This game is rigged! If this was lacrosse, I would have totally won! Okay, who's going to the kitchen to get us more snacks? Grandma, you said we had an alliance! I say a lot of things.
This is so much fun.
Thanks, Bernie.
Oh boy, she has moved to the hand now We're basically married Gonna take her last name It's the modern thing to do Mr.
Bernie Duckworth.
What? I said I, uh, have to go poop.
It's 2:00 a.
m.
Can you believe they're making us stay awake the entire weekend? Okay, so far the alliance is me, Bagpipe Ninja, and Bob the camera guy.
You want in? Dirk, you're exhausted.
You're talking to a hot chocolate maker.
I'm gonna name him Jason.
Up and at them! Time for the next challenge.
(air horn squeaks, hisses) Seriously? Fine, I'll just do it myself.
(bellowing) This one's called The Reactor! It tests your ability to stay cool when you're confronted with haters.
I don't have any haters.
So you guys are all going down! Sore Loser Guy, you can't play this game.
You've already been voted out.
Oh, what are those, "the rules"? Yes, they are.
Gow! I hate this show! Earlier, we had all of you write anonymous comments on each other's channels.
You'll read them out loud while hooked up to The Reactor.
Any negative reaction and you're out.
The last person standing wins a 30-minute nap on this luxurious bed! (angelic music plays) (gasps) "Frankie, your sense of humor leaves much to be desired.
" Hmm, whatever.
I've been bottling up my emotions for years.
(bell ringing) "Dirk, I don't want to be in an alliance anymore.
" How could you, Jason? I invited you to my brother's wedding! (buzzer sounds) I don't know what's happening, but you're out.
Yeah, man.
Saturday is cool.
Okay, you're not even looking at the comment.
You're totally out! (buzzer sounds) "Victor, despite all your efforts, there is still pain in the world.
" Don't you think if I could absorb it all, I would! (buzzer sounds) Victor's out! It's down to Paige and Frankie! "I know you have a huge crush on Colby Jackson.
" No, I don't! (buzzer sounds) Paige is out! Frankie wins! Why would you write that about Colby? That was our secret! No, I didn't write it.
I'd never tell anyone.
I swear.
Oh, you can't write this kind of drama.
Frankie's the only person I told about liking Colby.
Which by the way, Colby, if you're watching, I don't.
Unless you like me.
I don't know what's happening.
I wish I knew what was going through Frankie's mind right now.
(snoring) If you're just joining us, we've said goodbye to Sore Loser Guy, Horse Face Guy, Bagpipe Ninja, and Teddy.
What an odd assortment of characters.
Now we're down to our final four players.
So it's voting time! (text message chimes) "I dare you to drop out of the game and run to my house.
" Sorry, dudes.
$25,000 prizes come and go, but dares only come 10 times a day.
Let's be honest.
He probably wasn't going to win anyway.
Okay, Paige, show us your tablet and reveal who you want eliminated.
Don't ask me why, but I'm gonna stick with my friend.
Your loyalty is beautiful.
Well, I think it's pretty obvious who I voted for.
The person who poses the biggest threat to me.
(gasps) Whoa! Paige? I did not see that coming! Wait? What! Frankie, how could you? No, I didn't I didn't write that! Apparently, you did! No! Paige, you've got to believe me! I can't believe winning this game is worth more than our friendship.
Zowie! No, that didn't feel right.
Okay, Victor.
Who's going home? The one person who deserves to Me.
(gasps) That means it's Paige and Frankie in a final showdown to win $25,000! Ka-pow-pow! Yeah, that felt better.
I can't believe Frankie would do this to me.
I feel so betrayed.
It's like you think you know someone, but then they show you Hey! Hey! I know we're tired, but I'm pouring my heart out here.
Someone is setting me up, I swear! I would never do this to Paige.
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.
Here you go, buddy.
Real professional.
It's all going according to plan.
(ominous music playing) Feels pretty great, doesn't it, Teddy? Yeah, man.
You make the best pancakes.
Teddy, we've talked about you not paying attention to me.
So I'll make you a deal.
If you tell me the details of my evil plan, I will double your phone's data plan.
Ah okay.
Ah like So you rigged Frankie's Sumoji suit with a jet pack to make her bump Paige out.
Right.
Okay.
And then you ah discovered Paige's crush on Colby what's-his-face.
And then you are the funniest Teddy! And then you hacked Frankie's tablet to make it look like she voted Paige out.
Now they're pitted against each other so no matter who wins, their friendship is over, Bizaardvark will be ruined, and then no one will stand in your way of having the funniest channel on Vuuugle.
Okay.
Can I get the phone back? Very good, Teddy.
Okay, let's go.
Oh, yeah, you could totally wrestle a bear.
(ominous music playing) Dirk! You got the dare I sent you.
Bern-Man, what did I tell you? You don't need to dare me when you need my help with something.
You're my boy.
I'd do anything for you.
Oh, by the way, I gave your invitation to my brother's wedding to a hot choc A hot chick, I get it.
Listen, I need your help.
This is my chance to tell Amelia how I feel about her.
Can you just keep Grandma busy? No prob.
Hey, Bernie's hot sister! Oh, Dirk, you big bag of doorknobs.
Give an old broad a hug.
Hey, you got any baby pics of my good friend Bern-man? I might have a few lying around.
Amelia, now that we're finally alone Ooh! Baby pics! This one's Bernie.
The rest are me in Vegas.
Ooh, that was a fun night.
So here we are.
It's all come down to Paige and Frankie The only question is, where is Frankie? I'm right here.
Victor has been cheating this whole time, Paige.
He's trying to break up Bizaardvark.
Also, Teddy just got a new data plan.
That may or may not be relevant, I'm not sure yet.
Don't you think you've already lied enough? I'm not lying.
Come with me.
Frankie, I don't have time for this.
I've got a game to win.
It's all that matters, right? Ho-ho, okay! The final challenge is Money or Gravy.
One of those barrels is filled with $25,000.
The other is filled with graves.
I'm being told that's a typo.
It's gravy.
Of course this is the final.
It's so easy.
I would have dominated! This is a game of trust.
Frankie, I'll whisper to you which of the barrels has the money.
You have to tell Paige which barrel to stand under.
If she stands under the money, she wins it.
If she stands under the gravy, you win the money, and Paige gets nothing.
The money is in Go ahead, Frankie.
Tell me where the money is.
I'm sure you'll tell me the truth.
No, Paige, I will.
Because I don't care about winning.
I care about our friendship.
The money's in barrel A.
If you're lying to me now, I'll never trust you again.
Wait! If Victor rigged the other challenges, he must have rigged this one, too, which means that they're lying to me.
Paige, stand under barrel B! Wait! Victor would think I would think he's lying, and then have the host tell me the truth.
So it's definitely barrel A.
I have a feeling you're gonna say wait Hold on! Victor would never give us a fifty-fifty chance.
He'd want to be sure we'd break up.
Paige, don't stand under either barrel.
Hey! This is against the rules! Dude, it's just a game.
Calm down.
Paige, I'm being 100 percent honest when I say both barrels are filled with gravy.
I would never lie to you.
You're right.
You wouldn't.
What am I doing? I let the game get to me.
Frankie, I know winning's important to you, but you would never put anything above our friendship.
Let's pull them together.
- One, two, three, go! - One, two, three, go! This show is very stupid.
I'm sorry, Frankie.
I never should have doubted you.
So there's proof.
Victor's been out to get us this whole game.
I wonder how the producers of the show feel now that they know he's a cheat.
Oh, I don't think the producers will mind.
Because I am the producer! (gasps) - What? - What? That's right.
This entire Web series was created by me, with the sole intent of driving you two apart.
Hold on.
You created an entire show just to break up our friendship? You shot like three seasons of this thing.
All actors.
Hired actors? And started a fake channel where you must have spent thousands of dollars? Hundreds of thousands.
All to bring down two teenage girls who still haven't cracked 20,000 subscribers? Now you know who you're dealing with.
Well, joke's on you, because you didn't break us up.
Maybe.
But I did just sell a new reality show based off you two called Best Friend Breakups for $5 million.
Looks like I just took these clowns to Prank Town.
Isn't that right, Teddy? Yeah, man.
It's been a weird year.
Well, I have to say that show played out exactly how I thought it would.
Thanks for having me over, Bernie.
Amelia, wait.
There's been something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time.
I'm so glad that Bernie's my friend, that's as far as it goes And I'll never date him, because he's like my little brother So, what do you think? I feel the exact same way.
Yes! Ju-Ju-Ju! Ah.