Bob Hearts Abishola (2019) s01e20 Episode Script

Randy's a Wrangler

1 Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola Excuse me.
Just gonna get the bread there.
Did you tell her you're not interested? I did not.
You said you said rara (no).
Did you not say rara? Honestly? Rara.
Rara? - It means "no.
" - That's good.
You do not want to say rara to my sister.
She does not respond well to rara.
Uh, s-so listen, uh, Douglas and I were just talking about how hard you work.
Yeah, I'm a sled dog.
You are, which is why you deserve a break.
Ooh, like a long weekend? Sure.
Or a month in Arizona.
Remember the spa with the massage therapy and yoga? And all the pretty horses? What was the name of the one you liked? Buttermilk.
It was so nice of Mr.
Wheeler to give us a paid vacation.
Nice had nothing to do with it.
He's just trying to buy our silence.
Turns out it was for sale.
If we went any slower, we'd be going backwards.
We are traveling at the correct speed.
I thought Africans were crazy drivers.
You know, no traffic rules, jaywalking goats.
That is an offensive stereotype.
Though, yes, the goats are a problem.
Really? 28 miles an hour? Why are you complaining? I thought you didn't want to go.
I don't! But I also don't want to die of old age getting there.
Hey, I've got a good idea.
How about instead, we go to the casino? That'll be fun.
It'll be fun when the neurologist evaluates your progress.
She's just gonna charge me up the wazoo to tell me I still got a broken wazoo.
Wazoo? You know, keister, caboose.
Rump.
Oh, never mind.
So, what do you say? How about a game of roulette? I'm feeling lucky.
I want to bet on black.
You already did when you let me drive.
Hold the elevator, please! Thank you.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Just in case there were any kids playing behind you.
Eight, please.
Way ahead of you.
Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money Maybe we're ragged and funny But we'll travel along Singing a song Side by side Dean Martin fan, huh? Kay Starr.
Excuse me.
Oh, we don't know what's coming tomorrow Maybe it's trouble and sorrow But we'll travel the road, sharing our load Side by side I think I just got some feeling below my waist.
Well, right here.
What's this $2,000 cash advance on your company card? - I can explain that.
- Please do.
Okay, you got me.
Come in.
It's open.
Hello, Mr.
Wheeler, Mr.
Wheeler's brother.
Ugh, how hard is "Douglas"? We brought you gifts to commemorate our family emergency.
Thanks.
Also, macadamia nuts.
Ooh, fancy.
Did I get anything? We can share, Mr.
Wheeler's brother.
How is Christina? I am so sorry for any part I played in your sister's troubles.
It's not your fault.
- Are you sure? - Absolutely.
I mean, yeah, she happened to set her sights on you, but you could've been anybody.
Well, I'm not sure that is the case.
I do have a certain charm Ah, we meet again.
So we do.
Eh, let me guess.
Cerebral thrombosis, about, uh, four months out? Nice call.
What's the trick? Well, you're not drooling, but you're not juggling, either.
You know, I used to be quite the dancer.
Really? Ballet, ballroom, strip? What are we talking? What are we drinking? - Hank Sobieski.
- Dottie Wheeler.
And this is Abishola.
Abishola? Whoa.
That's fun to say after a stroke.
This is Guy.
- Hello.
- Hi, Guy.
Funny story, I call everybody "Guy" except for Guy when I forget his name.
That's not funny.
Okay.
I notice you got your wedding ring on your right hand.
- You a widow? - Yes.
Oh, great.
I'm guessing you're not married.
'Cause there's no ring? Well, 'cause who'd want you? Ah, just admit that you enjoyed meeting him.
He was okay.
A little full of himself for a man who can't tie his own shoes.
You gonna go out with him? I don't think so.
I have his business card.
- He gave it to you? - Guy gave it to me.
Guy? What guy? - That's his name.
- What's his name? - Guy.
- That's what I'm asking.
Oh, for God's sake, the guy's name is Guy.
You should call him.
Spending time with someone that's going through the same thing as you can help with your recovery.
Mm-hmm.
Plus, you might get you a little bit.
- Gloria.
- What? She ain't dead.
It's more common than you think.
One time, I walked in on my grandparents making love.
They looked like a couple of wet raisins stuck together.
It was ugly beautiful.
- Hey, how you doing? - Good.
How'd it go at the doctor today? That broad's a quack.
Why would you say that? I smelled cigarette smoke in her hair.
What kind of doctor smokes? Well, why are you smelling her hair? I had no choice.
She had her hands all over me.
Well, more importantly, is she happy with your progress? What's she gonna say? "Your clock's running out, come have a smoke with me"? Anything good happen? Actually, yes.
I'm no longer constipated.
In fact, it's corrected with a vengeance.
Okay.
Well, I was just curious about how maybe you met somebody? I can't believe that Nigerian blabbermouth tells you my business.
Yeah, some people overshare.
With a vengeance.
And all I heard was you met a nice fella and there was a little flirting going on.
Don't worry, you're not getting a new daddy.
I just wanted you to know that I'm rooting for you.
You're "rooting" for me? Yeah.
If you want to invite him over for dinner, I'll make sure there's a ramp in every room.
Please go away.
- I just want you to be happy.
- I am happy.
See? Look.
Goodbye.
- Bob.
- What? I appreciate the sentiment.
It's sweet.
Thanks.
Creepy, but sweet.
Hello? Who's this? Oh, hi, Guy.
Do me a favor, get the other guy.
There she is.
Oh, hey, guys.
Who's your friend? Is that Buttermilk? No, this is Patches.
Buttermilk bites now.
Well, nice to meet you, Patches.
I just want to thank you for this getaway.
I-I feel so much better.
- Glad we could do it.
- Yeah, I was really spiraling.
Please apologize to Kofo for me.
Ah, don't worry about Kofo.
Ko-forget about him.
I kind of did.
I met someone new.
What? Yeah.
His name is Randy, and you guys are going to love him.
I know I do.
You've only been there a week.
Oh, my God.
Today is our anniversary.
Ha! Christina, you need to slow down.
You need to spend this time working on yourself.
Okay, I'm feeling a lot of judgment from you two right now.
That's because you're not supposed to hook up with the other patients.
Uh, I didn't, smart guy.
Randy's a wrangler.
Oh, God, Christina Kofo misses you.
What are you doing? Would you rather take your chances with Randy? Don't worry about me.
I'm in good hands.
Calloused, leathery hands.
Oh It's like we're being chaperoned at a high school dance.
We just need something to spike the soup with.
I have some multivitamins we could crush up and snort.
Did you used to get loaded? Used to? Looks like they're having fun.
It does.
So what's your story? No, thank you.
- What? - Just don't.
Now, how do you even know that I know.
Yeah, you right.
I was really glad that you called.
Well, it was either that or take a nap.
You skipped a nap? Hey, slow down there, lady, we just met.
- So, Hank - Hmm? What did you do before you threw a clot? I tugged the Great Lakes for 42 years.
- Pardon? - Tugboat captain.
- No kidding! - That's right.
You're on a date with a partially paralyzed Popeye.
Well, blow me down.
What about you? My late husband and I started a compression sock business and after 48 years it's still going strong.
Huh.
What's the name of the company? MaxDot.
Get out.
MaxDot? Right this second, I'm wearing a pair of your socks.
What do you think? How do they feel? I have no idea.
Looks like we'll be spending some more time together.
Bring a book.
So, did you enjoy that? Eh.
"Eh"? You both seemed to be having such a good time.
It was okay.
When will you see him again? I don't know.
Never.
Why not? What's the point? We're gonna have a romance? He's gonna sweep me off my wheels? Maybe.
Or you could just be friends.
- I have enough friends.
- You have no friends.
Hey, watch it.
We'll give him two days to call.
If not, we will send a lighthearted text.
We're not doing anything.
And if he calls, tell him you lost me at the mall.
I don't understand you.
All right.
I'll make it real simple.
I'm too old and I'm too broken to start over.
That is not true.
You just have to have a positive attitude.
Oh, my God, what are you? A Disney character? You have no idea what I'm going through.
Actually, I do.
I've been a nurse for many years.
Well, then do your damn job.
Wheel me around, give me my pills and stay out of my life.
Okay.
As you wish.
Are you actually slowing down in anger? Ek'ale.
- Ek'ale.
- E kalle o.
Your fresh scrubs are laid out on your bed.
- Thank you.
- I packed you dinner, Mom.
How was school? Hard.
Good.
I hope you know your mother works day and night so you can have a better life.
I do know.
I don't think you do.
I think you take it for granted.
- I-I don't.
- So you know better than us? N-No.
I worry about this boy.
So do I.
- He's very rebellious.
- I'm not.
Again he talks back! Have you heard from Christina? Yeah, we just talked to her.
She's doing great.
Yeah, she's in real good hands.
Who's "Popeye"? Don't worry about it.
He's a nice older gentleman she met at the doctor's office.
Really? Yeah, they went on a little date, hit it off, and now she's dodging his calls.
I get that right? Bite me.
What's wrong with the guy? He's just not my type.
You're kidding.
You guys have so much in common.
What, we're both in wheelchairs? And you're old.
Hello? Yep, this is Douglas Wheeler.
Who's this? Oh.
Randy.
Happy anniversary.
What can I do you for? No, I do not know Kofo, and I do not know why he's there.
Did I wake you? No.
It's 2:00 a.
m.
What are you doing? Being a lazy immigrant.
How can I help you? I'm sorry.
I know you mean well.
Thank you.
And I know I was pushing you to do something that made you feel uncomfortable.
Does that mean you're apologizing, too? No.
I did nothing wrong.
Ah So I'm gonna see you tomorrow? Yes, you will.
Thank you.
Good night.
Wait! Abishola when do you sleep? When I'm driving.
Good night, Mrs.
Wheeler.
Good night, Abishola.
I hate this.
Which is why I enjoy it.
You are so mean to me.
Well, then, get healthy and kick my wazoo.
- You can count on it.
- Good.
First, there's someone here who wants to see you.
How's it going, Olive Oyl? You suck.
Well, how come you never called me back? Oh, none of your business.
Come on, don't leave me hanging.
All right, well, I thought that seeing you would make me feel self-conscious.
And I'm not Olive Oyl, I'm Betty Boop.
Strike up the band, Guy.
Now, if memory serves, you mentioned that you used to dance.
Key word: "used to.
" Come on.
Let's see what you got.
This is ridiculous.
But we'll travel along Singing a song - Hey.
- Whoa.
Don't know what's a-coming tomorrow Hey, turn that off.
I don't want anybody to see this.
Sorry.
Trouble and sorrow But we'll travel the road Hey, you're pretty light on your feet.
Were you this funny before the stroke? You're having a That's it.
Okay.
You having a good time? Oh.
Actually, I am.
Whoa.
See that sun in the morning Peeking over the hill I haven't seen her this happy in years.
It's nice, isn't it? Very nice.
You know, this is nice, too.
It is.
Think there will ever be a time where it's just gonna be you and me? What do you mean? Like when, say, Dele's away at camp.
Uh, what kind of camp? - Doctor camp? - Okay.
Olu and Tunde are on a cruise.
They do not like boats.
It's a free cruise.
Did someone give it to them or did they win it? - They won it.
- Good.
They don't take handouts.
Mom's back at her house.
Who's taking care of her? Christina and a cowpoke named Randy.
Where will Douglas live? I don't even know where he lives now.
Just everyone's safe and far away from us.
And it's just you and me.
Can you close your eyes and try and imagine that? - Mm.
- What would that feel like? I come home from work, pour us a couple glasses of wine, take you in my arms.
Ask you how your day was.
Could it be just like this.

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