Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e20 Episode Script

Just Us Justice Ducks (1)

# Daring duck of mystery # Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows # Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes # But his number's up # 3-2- 1 # Darkwing Duck # When there's trouble.
you call DW # Darkwing Duck Let's get dangerous.
# Darkwing Duck Darkwing duck! # Cloud of smoke and he appears # A master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind # That shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure # Bad guys are out of luck # 'Cause here comes - # Darkwing Duck - Look out! # When there's trouble.
you call DW # Darkwing Duck Let's get dangerous.
# Darkwing Duck Better watch out.
you bad boys! # Darkwing Duck (siren wails) (Darkwing humming) Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All set for our big night out, Morgana? Let's get amorous.
Darkwing Duck - crime-fighter, bad Elvis impersonator.
Uh, lemme just straighten the part a little.
Aw, how nice.
No, wait.
That's not right.
Keen gear, Morgana, I didn't know you could do that.
Aah, my face! I mean, it's-it's different.
(chuckles) - Can you fix me? - I think so.
OK, now that's better.
Would you be able to zap him into, say, pudding? Pudding? I'm not sure.
I Uh, Morgana, could you put the lights back on? But I didn't put them out.
Cool beans! The whole city's blacked out.
The whole city, eh? My infrapink ultrascan specs should locate the problem in a jiffy.
Now, where to begin.
How about the power company, Cosmo? Something tells me the power company may be the source of the trouble.
Aha! Megavolt, the most dangerous criminal ever, is sabotaging the St.
Canard Power Company.
Duty calls.
But, our date.
Well, uh, come along.
We'll have our date after you watch me heroically whomp a major villain.
I'm going with you? Don't worry.
Just zap the bad guys into pudding.
Ah! I love the smell of voltage in the evening.
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
Stand back.
You might get blood on ya.
I am the single career man all women want to date.
I am Ouch! Quackerjack.
No, I'm Quackerjack.
You are Darkwing Duck.
It's Quackerjack, the most dang The other most dangerous criminal, ever! That's right.
Prepare to meet thy doom at the hands of the the two most dangerous criminals, ever, together.
Guess I'll just have to fight using both fists.
(teeth clamping down) Oh, my gosh, Dark.
Let me get these off you.
Ooh, don't bother, my dear.
I will handle this myself.
(fighting sounds) (gasps) How do you like your superhero? Fried to a crackly crunch.
Morgana, help.
Do something! Oh, you mean that pudding thing Gosalyn mentioned? Anything.
Zap away.
Zap, zap, zap.
(Megavolt) Look, he's pudding! Mm-mm, and tasty to boot.
(both laugh) Morgana, honey, you need to work on your aim.
Sorry.
The electroslave device is in place.
Ha-ha-ha.
The boss'll be glad we installed his new toy.
Put it there, Megavolt.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
You-you (cackles) We make an electrifying team.
(both laugh) Electrifying team! I knew you could do it.
What flavor? That's not funny.
Morgana, fix me.
Oh, Dark, I'm so sorry.
I'll have you back to normal in two shakes of a ghoul's rib.
Hah! I'm back.
It will take more than two treacherous transgressors to taint the track record of Darkwing Yak.
Ooh, are you sure we're supposed to be here? You know, this is a police station.
That's what the boss wants, and you know the boss.
Kinda now, kinda wow.
I-I just hope we don't run into any policemen.
(both scream) - Policeman! - Bushroot! Serving the public getting you down? Tired of staring at the stationhouse walls? Then engage in life-threatening combat with Bushroot and the Liquidator.
(dispatcher) Calling all cars.
Help! Help.
help.
help.
help! Sounds like the police need help.
No problem.
Have Morgana throw a little pudding action at the bad guys.
Shh, no, no, don't say the "p" word.
Do you want me to go with you again? No, no.
It's Well, this time may be too dangerous.
(chuckles) I'll handle this myself.
Just fix me.
Later.
Oh, do you think he still likes me? Yo, hotdogs.
Get your hotdogs.
A dinosaur! Maybe burgers would sell better.
Oh, no, it's Ooh, Stegmutt, my favorite duck-turned-dinosaur.
Hi, Darkwing Duck.
I thought I felt something brush against me.
Hey, want a hotdog? Sorry, no time.
I'm on a case.
Aw, please.
They're really good.
- Please.
- Fine, fine.
Just hurry.
Oh, boy, yeah.
Let's see.
OK.
First I pull out the hotdog.
Then I put it in a bun and, um - Well? - 75 cents, please.
Love to stay, but I gotta go.
We'll do lunch sometime, OK? Great.
Hey, you forgot your change! Wait, Darkwing! Hold on! Oh, come on, kids.
Reach for the sky.
Come on.
Loved and adored for years in Europe.
Now available in our own country.
Beanstalk! That's a fact, Jack.
Fe-fi-fo-fum.
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
I am Stegmutt.
I thought I was Stegmutt.
Just when you thought it was safe to commit crimes, a dinosaur.
Oh, I hope he's not a plant-eater.
I've got your change, Darkwing.
I'm sorry, are you busy? Busy? No, no, no, no.
I'm only standing here with Liquidator and Bushroot, the most dangerous criminals ever, and we're playing "Let's Pretend!" Ooh, boy, I love "Let's Pretend.
" Yeah, let's pretend.
Let's pretend he's on fire.
Yeah, put out the Darkwing.
Put out the Darkwing.
Nice try, Greensleeves.
Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing! Four out of five dentists surveyed say it's time for us to get out of here.
Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing! (laughs) Oh, boy! What do we pretend next? How about pretending you have a brain?! I had it all under control till you came and let them get away, Mr.
Put Out The Darkwing.
I know.
I'll help ya catch 'em.
No, you won't.
I'll handle this myself.
I'm sorry.
Sorry doesn't capture Bushroot and Liquidator.
Sorry doesn't bring the police station back.
Why'd they do that, anyway? (sobs) Why do I have to be a big, disgusting, clumsy dinosaur? Why me? Why, why, why? (rumbling) Oops.
Did I hear "oops"? I did.
Ew.
Pelican's Island.
third season.
It's awful.
I, Neptunia, protector of the sea, shall put a stop to this pollution.
(blows) Got a job for ya, Hal.
Attack! Gee, I'm sorry, Darkwing.
This is the second most painful moment of my life.
What was the first most painful? Put out the Darkwing.
Put out the Darkwing.
Hate to interrupt you, but are these yours? Neptunia.
- I've come to - Lemme guess, you've come to help.
I've had enough of this, everyone jumping on my crime-fighting bandwagon.
First Morgana, then Stegmutt, now you.
I'll handle this caper by myself, thank you very much.
Why, you insolent little Yaah! (thud) This is the third most painful moment of my life.
The electroslave device is awaiting activation.
The police station's out of the way, boss.
Excellent.
It's time to remove the next major obstacle from our path - S.
H.
U.
S.
H.
Central.
(all) Ooh And that job belongs to me - NegaDuck.
Is it NegaDuck, or is it Darkwing Duck? S.
H.
U.
S.
H.
won't be able to tell the difference.
B-b-but what do you do if Darkwing Duck shows up? (all scream) Help.
Something like that, but worse.
Frankly, Darkwing Duck, I'm concerned.
We have top-secret weapons here at S.
H.
U.
S.
H.
, and if they should fall into the wrong hands Oh, boy.
Four of your very own archenemies have joined forces, an unusual phenomenon, indeed.
Four, eight, 326.
Hah! Numbers don't scare me.
Once I catch up to those confounded criminals, their conniving conspiracy will be kaput.
But, you were there when they did that thing with the beanstalk and the power company, too.
I know that.
He doesn't have to.
Relax, J.
Gander.
You've got the one and only Darkwing Duck on the job.
And this is S.
H.
U.
S.
H.
's newest superdeadly toy.
Normally, we keep it locked up, but since you are Darkwing Duck, nah.
The Spocko 650 Pie Gun produces so many pies, I can't even tell you.
Sorry, DW.
I know I left my keys in here somewhere.
(J.
Gander) Darkwing.
NegaDuck, so you're behind all of this.
Who? What? Two Darkwings? (both) Don't believe it, J.
Gander.
This fiend is my archnemesis NegaDuck.
Oh, no, you don't.
You're the lecherous liar known as NegaDuck.
I beg to differ.
You're the erroneous executor of evil known as NegaDuck.
Ooh would you cut that out!! Well, I guess we'll just have to kill them both.
- Dr.
Penham! - Just kidding.
Look, it's a fuzzy wuzzy bunny! Where? Aha! Only someone so dastardly, so despicable, so disdainful of the utterly defenseless would dare perform such a deed.
Friends, I give you NegaDuck.
Well, since you put it that way take this.
Be careful with that.
You'll put someone's eye out.
See? Darkwing, look out! Those aren't ordinary pies.
Those are expando-whammo pies.
What do you mean? Ahh (alarm sounds) (ding) (murmuring) Ew! Ohh.
This is the happiest moment of my life.
Almost forgot.
This is for Megavolt, Bushroot, Liquidator, Quakerjack, and NegaDuck makes five.
The Fearsome Five.
Hey, Mr.
Darkwing, I still have your change! First, they took out the police station.
Then they took out S.
H.
U.
S.
H.
This is great.
The biggest battle of my career.
Ho-ho! The Fearsome Five against me, all alone, with no help from anyone.
You mean you and The National Guard has been called in to restore order in the now lawless city of St.
Canard.
The National Guard? What could be worse? And look, here comes Duckburg's hometown hero - GizmoDuck - to lead the Guard.
Now the city is sure to be safe.
The last thing I need is that goody-goody do-gooder Gizmoduck stealing my spotlight.
Gee, DW, maybe you could use a little help.
I mean, they did wipe out the police and S.
H.
U.
S.
H.
right under your nose.
I know that.
There's Darkwing now.
Come on, I'll prove he still likes ya.
I don't know.
He looks kinda busy, don't ya think? (squeals) All right, Gizmo, pack up your Boy Scouts and hit the bricks.
Darkwing Duck.
How considerate of you to offer your assistance.
Me help you? Hah! I don't think you Stegmutt? Mr.
Darkwing, you forgot to get your change.
So, are you here to lend a hand? - No, he's not.
- Stegmutt! Gosalyn! - Morgana.
- Dark.
Hi! - Morgana, what are you doing here? - Aren't you glad to see me? Well, I Yes, technically, but I You see, I Oh, I know.
It's too dangerous.
I'll leave.
Oh, no, no, that's not what I This is no place for children, little Gizmo buddy.
Will you butt out.
Oh, are you here to lend a hand? No, no, no! No one's lending anybody a hand.
All of you, just go home.
And you, Gizmo, take your stupid army with you.
Uh, DW, there's, uh, heh-heh, something you oughta see.
Not now, Launchpad.
I'm busy.
I'm perfectly capable of defending my town by myself, thank you.
Now.
No harm will come to my fair city while I'm aro (all screaming) Success.
St.
Canard is ours.
Wow, now the Fearsome Five's taken out the whole National Guard, too.
I know! If I could just lose the rest of these bozos, I'll have my greatest moment ever.
Now that there's no one left to stop us, let's tear up the town! Says who? Says the Fearsome Five.
Don't make me come up there.
(raspberries) That's it.
Catch.
Whoa-a-a-a! Are these yours? Oh, jeez, not you again.
Are you here to lend a hand, too? D'ooh Well, how else do you expect to bring these villions to justice? That's it.
You can be a superhero team - The Justice Ducks.
- But we're not ducks.
- I used to be.
Justice Ducks.
I like it.
A team of superheroes united in a common goal.
(mocks) Justice Ducks united in a common goal.
Come on, Stegmutt.
It'll be great.
You'll get your own comic book out of it.
I can see it now, "The Uncanny Stegmutt.
" Ooh, boy! And Morgana will do her crankin' pudding spell.
Wham, zap - pudding city.
Oh, it's nothing, really.
And Neptunia will whack the baddies with her big ol' pitchfork and make 'em eat whale jelly.
Well, maybe.
Good show! What do you think, Wingy? - Ah - Three of us can attack from the front while the other two subversively infiltrate disguised as singing monks.
Then, at the appointed hour, Morgana, Stegmutt, and I leap out of the cake, taking the villains by surprise while the others contact the president and get network clearance for our exclusive heroic TV interview with Tom Lockjaw.
Hi.
(sputters) Or, uh, not.
Not is right.
Now go find your own villions, 'cause I can handle this myself, see? I don't need you or you or you or you and especially not you! Everybody, just go away! See if I ever try to help again.
Boy, what a martyr.
Whatever you say, DW.
Maybe we should date other people.
(raspberries) I was just trying to give him his change.
Well? I am here out of my sense of civic duty.
I go where I am needed, no matter big or how small the crime.
Gizmo, quick.
Why, there is an overdue library book over there.
Where? Where? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, now St.
Canard's rightful defender shall save the day as usual.
First, to find the Fearsome Five's secret hideout.
If only I had some clue.
Any clue at all.
Aha! Hmm, of course.
There it is - NegaDuck's hideout.
At the bridge, I planted a tiny crumb of bread from our questionable room service.
It should lead Darkwing Duck here right about now.
Aah! I thought I'd never find you.
(grunts) I see you found the crumb.
I knew you wouldn't notice the enormous flag.
Boys! (all growl) Help.
Aah! Whee! Whah, whah, whah Take that! Fore! Have a nice trip.
(screaming) Yaah! See ya next fall.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
That's the end of Darkwing Duck.
(screams) [TO BE CONTINUED.]
# Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck! # Darkwing Duck!
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