Family Ties (1982) s01e20 Episode Script

I bet we've been together for a million years and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed and I can't remember what I ever did before what would we do, baby without us? what would we do, baby without us? and there ain't no nothin' we can't love each other through ooh-hoo what would we do, baby without us? sha-la-la-la.
Elyse, it isn't like you to have such a closed mind.
I think Dale Lewis would make a good state senator.
He has some very interesting ideas.
I'm sorry, Steven.
It's just hard to get excited about someone whose entire campaign revolves around changing the state bird.
What have you got against chickens? I don't think chickens would look good on the state flag.
Okay.
Okay.
But changing the bird is just part of his campaign.
Right.
He also wants a new Ohio state song.
What's wrong with that? He wants "Oklahoma.
" Okay.
It's not a big issue.
It just shows he's willing to address himself to even the smallest details.
I think that's an admirable quality.
It's an admirable quality in a tailor.
I'd like my representatives to address themselves to more important issues.
Look, if you're so dead set against Lewis, there's no point in your hearing him speak tonight.
Why don't you just stay home? Maybe I will.
Good for you, mom.
This Lewis guy is a real clown.
He wants to cut defense spending.
He wants to increase welfare spending.
He supports the era.
The man is an admitted liberal.
I think you're right not to go.
Come on, Steven, we're gonna be late.
Uh, Jennifer says I have to babysit tonight.
Uh, that's right, Mallory, it's your turn.
Jeff asked me to go to the movies with him.
Mallory, you knew we were going to go out, and you knew it was your turn.
But I couldn't say no.
You know how insecure Jeff is.
As it was, he called three times in a phony voice.
It could be weeks before he asks again.
Why don't you let her go? To be honest, I enjoy the solitude.
I might even write a poem.
Actually, honey, you're still too young to stay alone.
We'd better get going, or we're gonna be late for the meeting.
That's right.
We don't want to miss the opening chorus of "Oklahoma.
" Bye.
Jennifer: Good night.
Alex.
The answer is no.
Oh, why can't you stay with her? You're not doing anything tonight.
That's not the point.
Mallory, she's your responsibility tonight.
You got to learn to carry your share of the burden around here.
I'll tell you what, Alex.
You stay with her this time.
And I'll do it the next three.
Make it five, you've got a deal.
You got it.
This is doing great things to my self-esteem.
I just hope you realize, Mallory, you are shirking your responsibility tonight, not to mention disappointing your little sister.
I know.
I know.
My heart goes out to her.
I'd better find something decent to wear.
Well, kid.
You lucked out.
You get to spend an evening with me.
What do you want to do? I think I'll go to bed early.
Hey, Alex.
Do you want to play all star baseball? Nah.
Clue? Nah.
Want me to shave your head? Nah.
Alex, you're babysitting me tonight.
You're responsible for my entertainment.
Oh, all right.
I was saving it for later, but here you go.
"Your personal guide to tax-free municipal bonds"? Enjoy.
So, how are you two getting along? Fine.
Crummy.
What's the matter? Mr.
excitement over here doesn't want to do anything with me.
Oh, he'll come around, Jennifer.
Mallory, you were supposed to sit for me tonight.
It's not gonna be fun with him.
Come on, Jen, you can do the same things with Alex that you and I would have done.
Oh, yeah? We were supposed to put makeup on each other tonight, remember? No way.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Neil.
What's going on? Oh, tonight? Oh, no, I can't tonight.
I'm babysitting my little Really? Uh No, tonight's not good for me.
Whoa, that's tempting.
Uh, maybe I could Alex.
Alex.
At the moment, I'd say it's about 50-50.
I'll get back to you.
What was it? Another party? No.
No, not at all.
It was just a group of fellow young men getting together to chat about world events.
A poker game.
You got it.
And Chuck the fish is gonna be there.
He never wins.
Come on, Mallory, what do you say? How can I get you to stay home tonight? You couldn't.
We switched tonight, and a deal's a deal.
Hello, Mallory.
Hello, Jeff.
Hello, Alex.
So, Jeff.
You're really going out with Mallory tonight, huh? Yeah.
Boy, I admire your courage.
What do you mean? Well, I just wouldn't drive on a night like tonight.
Why not? Well, you really want to drive in this weather, Jeff? It's a beautiful night.
Those are the most dangerous times to drive.
All of the people who are afraid to drive in the rain are out there.
Forget it, Alex.
We're going.
I don't know, Mallory.
Maybe he's right.
I mean Jeff.
Okay.
Look, Jen.
I'm real sorry I switched with Alex tonight, but you understand, don't you? Not exactly.
But I'm sure I will right after puberty.
Well, see you later.
You guys have a good time.
Jeff.
Yeah.
So What do you want to do? You want to play cinderella? I seriously doubt it.
Hear me out.
One of us gets dressed up like cinderella, and one of us gets dressed up like the prince.
And then we go and see if mom's slippers fit me.
Sounds exciting, but I think I'll pass.
Jennifer Let me explain to you the importance of poker in a man's life.
Alex, you're not going to the game.
In this industrialized society of ours, there aren't many battles for a man to fight.
There aren't many opportunities to go one-on-one with another man.
There aren't many tests of one's courage and stamina.
You know what I mean? Do you want to get mom's slippers, or should I? I've got a better idea.
Get your coat.
Alex, you're not throwing me out in the street, are you? I saw "Nicholas nickleby.
" I know what can happen to kids out there.
Look, Jennifer, relax.
You're going to the poker game with me.
It'll be fun.
Alex, I'm not going.
You have no choice.
Then I'm going.
I'm just gonna write a note to mom and dad in case they come home early.
I don't want them to worry about you.
Why would they worry? I'm obviously in good hands.
Kings bet 20 cents.
I'm in.
I'm in.
What are you nuts? Hey.
Jennifer, knock it off.
Then let me play.
I'm bored.
And you promised I could.
Uh, listen up, guys.
Uh, is it all right if my sister plays one hand with us? I dragged her here.
She's tired.
She's cranky.
And I think playing just the one hand will mean a lot to her.
No.
No.
No.
I tried, Jennifer.
Doug, it's 45 to you.
I fold.
Alex! Jennifer, the guys don't want you to play.
There's nothing I can do about it.
Neil, do you have any toys she could play with? Toys? Yeah, you know, uh Model cars, a doll, some silly putty.
I got a toaster.
Jennifer Neil says you can play with his toaster.
Wow.
If he had some bread, it'd be really fun.
Don't stick a fork in there, kid.
You don't own any forks.
Excuse me.
This isn't a restaurant.
This isn't an apartment, either.
Uh, call.
Your bet, Arnie.
I call.
I think he's got another king under there.
He's bluffing.
Jennifer! Sorry.
Why don't you, uh, go lie down somewhere? Yeah.
Toledo.
You sure know how to make a person feel at home.
Just leave us alone, please.
Chuck: I'll go 50 cents.
Neil, are you in or out? I'm in.
I already put in my money.
Those are my quarters.
Jeff: How do you know they're yours? How do you know they're not? I didn't see you put any quarters in there.
Guys, come on! I don't think Neil would lie about 50 cents.
Thank you, Alex.
A buck maybe.
I'm in.
I'm in, too.
I've got three kings.
Two pairs.
Not so fast, Arnie.
Full house, sevens over Jacks.
Oh, nice pot.
Damn.
Hey, Arnie.
Don't be such a poor loser.
And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't swear in front of my sister.
Sorry, Alex.
Sorry, Jennifer.
Jenn Jennifer? Where's Jennifer, Alex? What are you talking about? She's right over there.
Jennifer.
Jennifer.
Quit hiding.
I'm sorry I said what I said, okay? Jennifer.
Jennifer? She's not there.
She's not there.
Where did she go? Search me.
We don't know.
She's gone.
I don't believe it.
Check and see if the toaster's still here.
Let's go, Alex.
Ante up.
Arnie, my sister is gone! Are you in, or are you out? I'm out! I'm out! Chuck: Come on, Alex.
You're the big winner.
You can't drop out now.
I'm losing a bundle.
Oh, she's back.
She's back.
Thank god.
Uh, hi.
Uh, well, what are you doing here? Well, we got your note.
We thought we'd come by and pick up Jennifer.
Would you like to sit down, Mrs.
Keaton? Oh, if I sit down, I wouldn't want to get up.
Alex, where is Jennifer? She's With Jeff and Mallory.
Oh.
Yeah.
They, um They just came by a few minutes ago to pick her up.
I'm surprised you didn't pass them in the hall.
Jennifer was fast asleep.
They had to carry her down to the car.
It was really cute.
Right, guys? Oh, yeah, adorable.
The most darling thing I've ever seen.
Really, really precious.
Well, okay, then.
I guess we'll be getting home.
Do you think you'll be much longer, Alex? No, no.
As a matter of fact, we were just about to quit, right, guys? Oh, right, Alex.
Yeah.
Oh, sure.
Well, I had fun.
Mom, dad, I'll see you at home in a few minutes.
Okay? See you next week.
Nice to meet you.
We'll see you.
Chuck: Same here.
Jeff: Bye-bye.
Hey, Alex forgot his money.
Maybe we should try to catch Aren't you gonna come in? Sure, if you want me to.
I do.
Because, really, if you think I shouldn't Jeff.
I'm in.
I'm in.
Alex, we're home! Jeff, sit.
So, uh, did you enjoy the movie? I did.
I-i really did.
That's great.
Most people don't enjoy truffaut the first time.
Well, I did.
And you were able to follow it in French? It was in French? Uh, where's Alex and Jennifer? Who? Oh, um, I guess they're upstairs.
What's the note? Oh.
"Dear mom and dad, everything's fine.
"Mallory had a date, so I'm in charge of Jennifer.
We went to Neil's house.
" So, uh, nobody else is home, then.
Nope, just you and me.
Maybe I should leave.
I don't think so.
Mallory.
I made her do it, Alex! I'm an animal! I don't deserve to live! Where's Jennifer? I thought she was with you.
I got caught up in the moment! I couldn't control myself! Jeff I'm not usually like this, but when I'm around Mallory, I go crazy.
Jeff, calm down! We've got other problems here.
I lost Jennifer.
I thought you took her to the card game with you.
I-I did, but while I was playing, she just Wandered off.
Oh, no.
Mom and dad came to the card game to get her.
Oh, no.
They're right behind me.
I had to drive on the sidewalk to beat them home.
Maybe Jennifer came home, and she's upstairs sleeping.
I hope you're right.
I'll look.
Um, I kind of told my parents that, uh, Jennifer was with you.
So I'd appreciate it, if you'd Lie.
That about says it, yeah.
Sure, Alex, if you want me to.
Look, if Jennifer's not home, maybe you and I should go look for her.
We've both got cars.
Good idea.
Jeff, thank you for your support.
I'm glad you're here.
Not at all.
Well, you're certainly not the two I expected to see on the couch.
Where's Mallory? She went upstairs to check on Jennifer.
Hi.
Everything okay with Jen? Yeah, everything's just fine.
Oh.
Well, I think I'll go, uh, tuck her in.
Oh, you don't need to do that.
I just tucked her in.
She's fully tucked.
So, um, how was your meeting? Are you guys gonna vote for Dale Lewis? No way.
Boy, was I wrong about him.
Me too.
He is great! Wait a minute I thought when you left, that dad was for him and you were against him.
What happened? We heard him speak.
We heard him speak.
You'll have to excuse us.
I'm gonna drive Jeff home.
Good night, Mr.
Keaton.
Good night.
Good night, Mrs.
Keaton.
Bonsoir, Mallory.
Bonsoir, Jeff.
Uh, Jeff, I am waiting.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
Why are you driving him, Alex? Jeff has a car.
Well, his battery is a little low.
I'm gonna follow behind in case he gets into trouble.
If you want to go along for the ride and come back with Alex, it's okay.
Oh, no, thanks.
I'm pretty tired.
Well, uh, I'm kind of tired, too.
I think I'll go up to bed.
Oh, me too.
Oh, wait.
What is it? Uh, nothing.
I-I was just hoping we we could talk before you went upstairs.
I'm awfully tired, honey.
Can it wait till tomorrow? I guess so.
I just wanted to talk about boys and sex.
And then, the young kangaroo suckling lives lives in its mother's pouch for many months, until it's able to venture out on its own.
Uh, I think Mallory knows all that, Steven, and she wants to talk about men and women.
Oh, no, mom.
It's okay.
I think I'd understand it better if we start from the beginning.
So daddy kangaroos don't have pouches? Mm-hmm.
Alex, where have you been? You've been gone almost an hour.
Did Jeff have car trouble? Uh, yes.
Yes, he did, as a matter of fact.
Um, has Jennifer woken up yet? Not yet.
Why should Jennifer wake up? Alex, is anything wrong? Uh, yes.
Yes, it is.
Uh, it's kind of a long story.
You see, I didn't want to play cinderella all night, and dress up in your clothes, mom.
And you know how shy Jeff is.
I got the call about the card game.
Chuck has not won a pot in three years.
They offered her the toaster.
Alex, what are you talking about? I took Jennifer to the card game, and, uh, I lost her.
You lost Jennifer in a card game? No.
No.
I mean, she She disappeared from the apartment.
What?! You don't know where she is? We'd figured she came home.
I didn't Okay.
I'm calling the police.
Elyse, call Chrissy's house, and see if she went there.
Alex, call Neil's and see if she came back.
Steven, we've only got one phone.
Alex, uh, go next door to Mrs.
obeck's.
Use her phone.
I'll go to the barton's.
Hello.
Jennifer, baby, are you okay? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Just a little tired.
Where have you been? I was worried sick about you.
Yeah, yeah, I'll bet.
Where were you? I took the bus.
I was with someone lonelier than me the bus driver.
By the way, he's coming over next Thursday night for dinner.
That's okay, Sam.
You can go now.
Goodbye.
Jennifer, you cannot just walk away like that.
We were scared to death.
I know.
I'm sorry.
I just got sick of being in the way.
Honey, honey, you've never been in the way.
Alex and Mallory won't get off so easy.
Don't be too hard on them, dad.
I'm just a little sister.
Why should I expect anybody to want to spend time with me? Hi.
Mom said you'd see us now.
Can we come in? Sure.
Thanks.
Guess you want me to leave, then.
Wait a minute.
Why would we want you to leave? Well, you never seem to want me around, lately.
Come on, Jennifer.
That's not true.
It isn't, huh? Is that why you dumped me for Jeff? Jennifer.
Hey, Mallory didn't At least she dumped me for a nice guy, Alex.
You dumped me for a group of winos.
Yeah, Alex.
Wait a minute.
Whose side are you on? On the other hand, Mallory, you hurt me even more.
I don't expect anything from Alex.
Yeah, Mallory Wait wait a minute.
What do you mean you don't expect anything of me? Are you saying that I neglected you? Alex, the only time you talk to me is when you want me to leave the room, or you need some money.
Hey, how can you say that? Remember, this morning, I talked to you.
I talked to you.
I passed you in the hall.
I said, uh, "hey, how you doing?" I'm touched.
Look, Jennifer.
I don't know if it'll make you feel any better, but we're grounded.
For how long? Let's put it this way.
You'll be driving before we will.
Look, I don't know why you guys are here.
You don't care about me.
It's always, "you're too young for this, Jennifer.
" Or, "we can't go because of you, Jennifer.
" I'm not a person.
I'm a little sister.
Jennifer, we don't really treat you like that.
Yes, you do.
You guys are always so busy.
You never have time for me.
Alex, you're busy with your work, your clubs, your school.
Mallory, you're busy with your boys and What else do you do? It's just because we're older, Jennifer.
When you get to be our age, you'll be busy, too.
I'll never be your age.
I'll always be younger.
No matter what I do, you guys will always get to do it first.
Well, that's true, Jennifer, but there are a lot of advantages to being the youngest.
Like what? Well, for one thing, Mallory and I have worn mom and dad down.
We've broken them in.
We've trained them.
By the time you get to be our age, you'll be running this place.
That is something to look forward to, but what am I supposed to do between now and then? We'll try and make it more fun for you, Jen.
Will you guys let me get in trouble with you more often? Sure we will.
Will you take all the blame when we do? We always do.
I know.
That's my favorite part of being a little sister.
You know, Jennifer, uh, when we didn't know where you were, we were really worried about you.
You mean it? There was a moment there when I realized what it would be like, uh, if you weren't around, and I didn't like the idea.
For one thing, I'd be stuck here alone with Mallory.
We love you, Jennifer.
Sometimes we forget to say it, but we do.
You too, Alex? Me too.
Just want to count heads.
One, two, three.
All present and accounted for.
Next count will be at 0100 hours.
You don't have to do that anymore, dad.
I'm not gonna run away again.
Yeah.
We'll keep her happy.
We'll make sure she gets out every now and then.
We'll feed her, keep her clean.
No child could ask for more.
Well, at least now we're aware of how Jennifer feels.
Maybe something good has come out of tonight, after all.
That's true.
Today has been a very positive experience.
I mean, things we've learned Can it, Alex.
You're still in big trouble.
Jennifer, I know you feel that sometimes you get lost in the shuffle.
And that's wrong.
We should watch out for that.
But even if that happens, please remember that we love you.
We don't mean to take you for granted.
If I've taken anyone here for granted in the past six months, I apologize.
Together: I accept.
And and, hey, I'm not totally blameless here.
Don't be so rough on yourself, Alex.
No.
No.
I-i mean it.
I mean, sometimes I'm not as sensitive to all of you as I could be.
No! No! No! And and sometimes I'm a little too self-centered.
No! No! No! Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest.
It was a real catharsis, Alex.
I'm drained.
Well, come on, Jennifer.
What do you want to do tonight? You name it.
I'm your guy.
Do you want to play all star baseball? Nope.
Clue? Nope.
What do you want to do? You know what I want to play.
I'll go get mommy's slippers.