Foreign Exchange (2004) s01e20 Episode Script

1
(upbeat music)
- [Hannah] So what are you gonna get him?
- I can't buy him anything,
I don't have enough money.
- But he's your brother.
- Stepbrother, besides, he didn't get
me anything for my birthday.
- All the more reason
for you to set the pace.
- Ah, Brett, quick!
Need help in the corridors
upstairs, come on!
- Think about it.
- Yeah.
- Is there anything you can do, Seamus?
- Ah sure, I can patch
it up again, Miss Murphy,
but that doesn't help with the fact
that the school needs new plumbing.
- And a new roof.
- And a new bank account
to pay for it all.
I don't like leaving you
in the midst of all this.
- Nonsense, I'll be absolutely fine.
- Are you going away, Miss Murphy?
- She's got a meeting with
a very rich businessman.
An ex-pupil.
- Who, with any luck, I might
be able to get some money
out of for this new plumbing.
(ceiling creaks)
- Wow!
It must be up in one
of the old storerooms.
- What happened?
- The sky just, fell in.
- Water damage, eh?
- Massive water damage.
- This must have been up there for ages.
- Wow!
Some of this stuff could
be really interesting.
- Looks like a lot of old junk to me.
- Just toss it out, Seamus.
- No!
No but you can't, Miss Murphy.
You have to check it all
for, for historical value.
- Well, if you're volunteering,
Cormac, then be my guest.
Just get it out of the building.
- Sure, sure.
- All right then, one on each end.
Grab handle and lift.
Well?
- Oh me?
All right.
- Come on then, I've got
some plasterers to call.
(dramatic music)
- We're not really interested
in a 50-year-old maths book, are we?
- I suppose not.
- What's that you've got there?
- A tin soldier, except they
weren't tin in those days,
they were actually made of lead.
- Lead?
That stuff's poisonous.
Fancy giving kids lead toys to play with.
- Oh, now this is interesting.
- How old's that?
- It could be valuable, I'll check it out.
- Oh, what about the rest of stuff?
- No, no, no, like
Seamus said, junk mainly.
(bell rings)
I've gotta go.
- Oh, no worries, I'll clean up then.
You might come in handy, after all.
(suspenseful music)
- Hip, hip--
- Hooray!
- Hip hip--
- Hooray!
- Hip hip--
- Hooray!
- Now make a wish and
blow out the candles.
(people clapping)
- Happy birthday, mate.
- Yeah ta, dad.
Okay, present time.
Brett.
Well thanks, Brett, a broken toy soldier.
Just what I always wanted.
- Oh, well I figured he could
star in your collection.
- Thanks Dad, thanks Jackie.
- Haven't got one of those, have you?
- No, no I haven't.
Haven't got any ships,
just cars and planes.
No ships.
- Have some of this before
you go out with your mates.
- Hey, you haven't opened my present yet.
- Oh, he's just saving the
best till last, sweetheart.
- Yeah, (scoffs) right.
Caring for Others.
(scoffs) Thanks, Mere, I think.
- Can I borrow it when you're finished?
Knock yourself out.
- Miss Langan, I have
to buy a birthday card,
so could I have permission
to go into town after school?
(boy cheering)
- I take it there's a reason
for all this exuberance.
- I got into this website,
to check out how much this would be worth.
- Not enough to aren't
quite so much noise, surely.
- About 80 euros.
- What!
For this rusty old thing?
- Congratulations, Cormac, you were right
about there being treasure
and that old chest.
- No, no, that's nothing!
Look, it's from the long-lost
Rathbone collection of 1934,
and it's worth 70,000 euro.
- Well it's a pity you
don't have that one then.
- Well I have!
That is, the school might have.
It was in that old treasure chest.
I have to go check this out.
(dramatic music)
- 70,000 euro.
That'd be enough to fix the school roof!
(metal clatters)
- It was here, in this pencil box.
- Well, it definitely isn't there now.
- Are you sure you didn't
imagine it, Cormac?
- Of course not.
Ask Brett, I showed it to him.
- Well, did he put it back?
- Yeah.
Well I'm sure he did.
See, the school bell rang
and then I had to go,
and then he said that he
would clean everything up.
- 70,000 euro!
- I just remembered, um there's,
there's something I have to do.
Catch you later.
(gentle music)
- Brett, wake up.
- Yeah, mom, I'll be there in a minute.
- [Hannah] Wake up!
- Hannah, what are you doing here?
- Listen, that toy soldier
Cormac found in the chest,
do you know where it is?
- It's the middle of the night.
If mom found you down here.
- This is important.
That soldier's worth a lot of money.
- If this is a joke, it's not funny,
- 70,000 euro isn't a joke.
- 70,000?
- Yes.
- Cormac said it was junk.
- Yeah, very valuable junk.
Now where is it?
- I gave it to Wayne.
- You didn't.
- It's all right, he probably chucked it
straight in the rubbish bin anyway.
(sighs) Stay here, I'll get it.
(dramatic music)
- What are you doing up there oi, puss?
Get that emu out of my school bag.
- No luck.
- Oh, Miss Langan's already planning
to spend that money on
the the school roof.
- Well just try and stall her, all right?
I'll get it back off him tomorrow.
- Are you sure?
- Not a problem.
Wayne doesn't want it anyway.
- Okay, get it to me as soon as you can.
- Sure.
Good night.
- G'day.
(upbeat music)
(dramatic music)
- What are you doing?
- Dude, I'm going to my room.
- Get out of my face, loser.
- So, where're you off to, then?
- Why do you want to know?
- I'm just being sociable.
- Curl up in the Sun and dry out.
(dramatic music)
(suspenseful music)
(dog barking)
(motorcycle engine revving)
- [Motorcycle Driver] You back again?
- [Wayne] Yeah, you got
a problem with that?
- [Motorcycle Rider] Glutton
for punishment, aren't ya?
- [Wayne] Need to get on, Boof.
- Yeah, good mate, yeah.
(dog barking)
- [Motorcycle Rider] Might
as well get started, eh?
- [Boy] Fair enough.
(gong rings)
- Approach ye, denizens of Golgothra,
and state your purpose.
- [Clevendale] What are you doing here?
- Monster Meister, the
army of Vingrath comes
to claim the crown of Ceridian.
- Hey, Monster Meister, we found this kid
hanging around outside.
- What are you doing here?
- I was gonna ask you the same thing.
- You know him?
- Yeah, he must have followed me here.
- What is this, some kind of
secret society or something?
- Just be quiet.
You shouldn't have come here.
- I do like your outfit.
- Just shut up, okay?
Check me up, boss.
- Monster Meister to you.
- Look, I need that soldier back.
- What?
- The toy soldier I gave
you for your birthday.
It belongs to someone I
know, and I didn't realize
how important it was until now.
- Vingrath, the warrior
of which he speaks,
is it in your army?
- It is, Monster Meister.
- Vingrath?
- Then once on the battlefield,
the warrior can only
be removed by combat.
(thunder rumbles)
- You're not gonna let him play.
- Play what?
- Just keep out of it, all right?
It's got nothing to do with you.
- Let the bones decide.
- I'm really gonna get you for this.
- What?
- Cast the bones.
- Huh?
- Roll the dice.
- Oh.
(horse whinnying)
(thunder rumbles)
- Eleven.
- Okay loser, let's see you beat that.
- It's a weird looking dice.
(thunder rumbles)
- Twelve.
- Well, I guess I win, huh?
- Come on, you need
ceremonials and an avatar.
- Aye.
- Morning, Miss Langan.
- What is it, Hannah?
I'm rather busy.
- It, it's about the tin soldier.
- Have you found it?
- No, not exactly.
But I just remembered that
the last time I was talking
to Brett, he, he, he mentioned that
it might have been thrown away.
- What, in the rubbish?
- Well, yes.
- Well, there is only one thing for it.
We shall search in every rubbish bin.
We shall search in the rubbish skips.
- What if we don't find it?
- Then we the search them again.
- Ew!
I do that's an attempt at humor.
- No, I don't think so.
- We shall turn the school upside down
and shake it if necessary.
We must find this soldier
before Miss Murphy comes back.
- This is it, guys.
If you find it, handle with care.
It's really valuable.
- Right, B Platoon, follow me.
- All of this for a toy soldier? (laughs)
- Why do I only have one guy?
I mean, that's hardly an army, is it?
- What is your calling, Outlander?
- Huh?
- Your name.
- Brett.
- You can't be Brett.
That is your name.
- Oh right, McCracken the Great.
- So be it, McCracken.
- Cast the bone, Clevendale.
- Seven.
- Right.
Clevendale's ninjas lead a sneak attack
on Bean Breath's flank,
causing the cavalry horses
to stampede into McCracken.
Orock advances into the valley.
- Loss, four life points, but
got seven strength points.
- I lose six vitality points,
but gain eight on tactics.
- 10 vitality demerits.
- What is going on?
- We're keeping score.
- Did I win your soldier back yet?
- Not even close.
- Miss Langan has totally lost it.
- Not necessarily.
- She's flipped!
What on earth would make her think
that stupid soldier was in the rubbish?
- (clears throat) Any luck yet girls?
- No.
- Not yet, Miss Langan.
- Oh, I do hope you're right, Hannah,
and that it's somewhere in that rubbish.
- Now, keep hunting, and
shout if you find it.
- You're to blame for this?
- It's, it's not my fault!
- (groans) You are a social
outcast, Hannah O'Flaherty.
(thunder rumbles)
(horse whinnies)
- Okay.
My guy does a sneak attack and
captures this guy off Wayne.
I mean Vingrath.
- Play by the rules, idiot.
- Well, what are the rules?
- That's for you to find out.
You wanted to play.
- Cast the bone, McCracken.
Nine.
McCracken falls into the
lair of the giant centipede.
- (sighs) Lost 11 warriors.
- Hey, what are you
doing with that soldier?
- Well, it's Clevendale's.
He won it fair and square.
- But how do I win it back?
- You can't, unless he
puts it back into play.
Come on, it's your turn to roll.
- 12.
- Yes!
- What?
- You are dead meat! (laughs)
- McCracken falls victim to the poison
of the giant centipede.
- (laughs) You're out of the game, loser.
- The Monster Meister calls a loo break.
- Pretty scungy looking
warrior you got here, Vingrath.
- (scoffs) You're telling me,
- Wayne, I've got to
get that soldier back.
- Just go, will ya?
- Please mate, I need your help here.
- Don't you know when you're not wanted.
- All right, it's gonna
be fun telling everyone
what I've been doing today.
- You don't mention this
to anyone, all right?
I'm sure the guys at school
will love hearing about
how Wayne dresses up and plays
games with his toy soldiers.
- You wouldn't!
- Not unless you win
that soldier back for me.
- That's blackmail.
- No, that's helping each other out, mate.
Hey, bro.
- Keep looking Seamus.
- We've checked every bin on
the ground floor, Miss Langan.
It's not there.
- All right.
Start on the skips behind the canteen.
- You are history, Hannah.
- Look, there's no point, Miss Langan.
- There are 70,000 points Hannah.
- But it's rubbish collection day.
the trucks have just been.
- What!
(dramatic music)
I forbid you to leave the
grounds with this rubbish!
- What is she doing?
- Oh no.
- She's out of control.
We should report her to
the education authorities.
- Orock's forces are crushed
by a boulder thrown by the troll.
- Oh no!
- it's the final conflict, Clevendale.
- When you're ready, Vingrath.
- What's going on?
- Oh, they have to decide whether or not
to bring up reinforcements.
- Go, Wayne!
- Shut up, will ya!
I'm thinking.
He could lose everything.
All his warriors, his equipment, the lot.
(dramatic music)
- Four!
Seven!
- So what does that mean?
Who won?
Who gets the soldier?
- And victory goes to,
Vingrath!
- No!
- [Monster Meister] Vingrath.
- Wayne.
Wayne?
- [Player] Take it easy, mate.
- Same time next week, Boof?
- See ya, mate.
- [Player] Take it easy.
- I don't get it, what's so
special about a stupid game
where nobody even knows the rules?
- Duh, that's the point.
- Huh?
- But we know the rules,
it's our game, no one else's.
Hey, we got a deal remember?
- Yeah, yeah, we got a deal.
(dramatic music)
- I can't believe what
we've been asked to do here.
- Me neither.
There are some fantastic things here.
- I've had enough!
I'm going for a shower before I catch
every disease known to man.
- Come on, get stuck into it.
What's the matter with you?
There's not a bit wrong
with a little bit of dirt.
- Mrs. Langan.
- Oh, Miss Murphy.
- What on earth is happening here?
- There's a perfectly good
explanation for all this.
- I can't wait to hear it.
- Well, it's about time.
Where have you been?
- Fighting off the forces of Golgothra.
- What?
- Ah, skip it.
- Don't even mention skips to me.
Come on, they're all up
in Miss Murphy's office.
- Hannah, what's that smell?
- 70,000 euro.
- If it were a genuine Rathbone,
it would be worth every cent.
- You found all this out on the Internet?
- Mm-hmm, it looks the
same, but I have to check.
(someone knocks on door)
- Come in.
- Miss Murphy, we found it.
- [Mrs. Langan] Marvelous!
- Where did you find it?
- Uh, just amongst some other junk.
- Well?
Hm?
- It's not a Rathbone.
Similar, but not the same.
- Is it worth anything?
- Well, not a whole lot
on its own I'm afraid.
Sorry.
- Oh dear.
- However, I very much
appreciate your efforts.
It shows how committed
you are to our school.
- Yeah, but--
- Now, as you know, I
went to Dublin to meet
a very rich ex-pupil of ours,
and I convinced him to make a donation.
- For how much?
- Well, not enough for
a complete new roof,
but enough for extensive repairs.
- So everything today was totally useless.
Oh.
Miss Murphy, I'm so sorry.
- I don't know what
you did to get it back,
but it's been worth it.
- Just promise me one thing, Hannah,
if you ever see me getting
interested in toy soldiers again,
tie me up and don't
let me out of the room.
- (laughs) I promise.
- Thanks.
(upbeat music)
(electronic music)