Glee s01e20 Episode Script

So here's what happened last week.
Will's old rival tried to cancel the club.
- You're done here.
- Then he was really into it.
I got custom-made jean jackets.
Then he tried to cancel it again.
You think you're helping these kids when all you're doing is setting them up to be jaded and bitter.
Finn's mom's dating Kurt's dad, which was totally part of Kurt's plan to get closer to Finn who he's always sorta had a crush on.
When will you learn that nothing is impossible when it comes to love? Artie told Tina what his greatest dream was then realized that not every dream is achievable.
Is that even a word achievable? Achievitate? Achievalize? Okay, you just said, like, 10 offensive things.
Jesse pushed Rachel to find out who her mom was and it turns out it's Shelby Corcoran, the coach of Vocal Adrenaline.
I want a look that's so optimistic, it could cure cancer.
Geez.
And that's what you missed on Glee.
- Am I in trouble? - Come on.
You've got more self-esteem than that.
This might have something to do with your perfect attendance last semester.
No, Miss Cohen-Chang is in trouble.
It has come to my attention that the look you sport is what is known as goth.
American teens are coming down with a serious case ofTwilight fever transformed from normal children into vampires obsessed with the occult.
And only yesterday this dark specter reared its head at McKinley High.
This is totally gonna get Robert Pattinson's attention.
- [Hissing.]
- Oh, hey! - [Growling.]
- [Shrieking.]
- [Roaring.]
- Oh, dear God! I don't mean to state the obvious but you do know that vampires aren't real, right? - They don't exist? - William, denial will not make this problem go away.
My parents won't even let me watch Twilight.
My mom says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.
This is a serious problem.
Miss Cohen-Chang, you've got to find another style of dress! Hold on a second.
Tina is shy, and one way she's found to express herself is through her clothes.
High school is an incredibly important time when kids get to explore who they are.
When I was in high school I had a whole year where I dressed exactly like Kurt Cobain.
Come on.
There has to be someone you used to dress like.
Yes, for several years in my early '20s I dressed up as Elvis but he was a Christian, Will, and he did not possess the ability to transform into a bat! - I think he thinks vampires are real.
- I think you're right.
Studies have shown that a strict dress code fosters a safe and stable learning environment with fewer instances of gang violence and vampirism.
So if I see you dressed in lacy demon clothes again, Tina Cohen-Chang you will be suspended! Step.
One more.
Is there a car down here for me? - Honey, we're indoors.
- Oh.
And open your eyes! Sparkling cider? Yeah.
"Welcome home"? But who went somewhere? Burt asked us to move in with them.
And this is how you're telling me? The party was my idea.
If you're gonna say something, say it loud, right? Yeah, it's gonna take some getting used to, but you're gonna love it.
Now you don't have to drag your tail over here every time you wanna watch the 55-incher.
We got a lot of food.
Some ethnic food.
It's some ethnicity that's not ours.
- Look how pretty that is.
- Want a crudité? There you go.
Finn, this house is twice as big as ours.
It has two bathrooms.
- Two and a half.
- I don't want an extra bathroom.
Or a tuna crude.
I just want my house back.
I think I know what this resistance is about.
Our room.
And I couldn't agree more.
The palette in here is totally unflattering to your skin tone.
Not everyone can pull off Dior gray.
- We need to redecorate.
- Wait.
We're sharing a room? - I'm not cool with that.
- Baby, I know it's weird.
Okay? But it can't be much of a surprise, and in time you're gonna be as happy as I am.
Look, I'll knock down a wall upstairs, I'll put an addition on.
But until then maybe this'll grease the wheels a bit? Huh? Hey, look, there's 300.
Have at it.
You redecorate.
Don't worry, roomie.
Mr.
Ikea Catalog and I will have this all figured out.
I am going to put together a palette that expresses who you are and who I want you to be who you want to be.
Hey, what night's game night? You play Sorry? - You know.
- You will now.
- Sorry! - I will I will beat you.
- It's so weird.
- This so isn't you.
I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.
- Tina, are there any other looks you can try? - Biker chick? - Cowgirl? - Hood rat.
- Computer programmer.
- Cross-country skier.
- Catholic schoolgirl? - A Happy Meal, no onions.
Or a chicken.
Look, I appreciate it, guys, but it just isn't me.
I know who I am, and I'm not allowed to show it.
It's like communism.
Guys, we have a serious problem.
I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline.
- Isn't that against the rules? - No, not at all.
Or probably.
Whatever.
Anyway, what I figured out, I rooted through the Dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found 18 empty boxes of Christmas lights.
- Oh, no.
- Which led me toJoelle Fabrics.
I asked them about red Chantilly lace, and they were sold out! - Oh, sweetJesus.
- Oh, my.
- W-W-What? - They're doing Gaga.
- That's it.
It's over.
- Exactly! We should have guessed it.
They're going for full-out theatricality.
They know it's the easiest way to beat us.
Damn them! What's up with this Gaga dude? He just, like, dresses weird, right? Like Bowie? - [Sighs.]
- Lady Gaga is a woman! She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades.
She's boundary-pushing.
The most theatrical performer of our generation.
She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
- That's true.
- It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage.
- It's a brilliant move.
She's a perfect fit for them.
- Now, hold on a second.
We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here.
We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for regionals.
This week, your assignment: Gaga.
- [All Gasping.]
- Pens.
Need pens.
My ideas just come to me.
- My office.
- I'm brainstorming.
- Oh, man! And claw, claw, up, clap-clap! And five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four - You think they can see us? - If they catch us, are we gonna have to go to jail? Stealing their ideas is not a crime.
Five, six, seven, eight, and one Your shoes are making noise.
Five, six, seven, eight.
- And one, two, three, four, five, six and seven, eight.
- They look amazing.
Claw, claw, up, clap-clap.
And five, six [Stammers.]
Okay, okay, okay.
It's just Enough.
You guys aren't getting it.
You're letting the costumes do all the work.
Theatricality isn't about crazy outfits.
It's not enough to douse yourselves with gasoline.
You have to light yourselves on fire to make it work! God, she's good.
Being theatrical doesn't mean you have to be a nuclear explosion.
It can be like a quiet storm.
You just have to radiate emotion, express what's deep inside you.
That's what theatricality is truly about.
- Do I have to demonstrate? "Funny Girl.
" E-flat.
- # [Introduction.]
Exactly what I would have done.
Barbra.
I could do it in my sleep.
# [Continues.]
# Funny # Did you hear that? # Funny # # Yeah, the guy said, Honey # # You're a funny girl # # That's me # # I just keep them # # In stitches # # Double in half # # A nd though I may be all wrong for the guy # # I'm good for a laugh # [Laughs.]
# I guess it's not # # Funny # # Life is far from sunny # - [Whispers.]
Where are you going? - Get back here.
# When the laugh is over # # And the joke's on you # # A girl # # Oughta have a sense of humor # # That's one thing # # You really need for sure # # When you're a # # Funny # # Girl # # The fella said a funny # # Girl # Funny # How it ain't # # So # # Funny # # Funny girl # Ms.
Corcoran? I'm Rachel Berry.
I'm your daughter.
Did you ever regret it? Yes.
Then no.
Then so much.
But when did you realize it was the right time for me to find you? [Chuckles.]
I saw you sing at sectionals.
You were extraordinary.
You were me.
[Laughs.]
Was it hard for you to not become a star, to not have your dreams come true? It felt like a broken promise.
Like the fisher king's wound it never heals.
Wow.
Genetics really are amazing.
You see the world with the same fierce theatricality as I do.
Even the way we're sitting right now is so dramatic and yet we feel so comfortable with it.
I've missed so much.
- How do you feel? - Thirsty.
When I was little and I used to get sad my dads would bring me a glass of water.
It got so I couldn't tell if I was sad or just thirsty.
Uh I shouldn't have done this.
This was supposed to feel good.
W-We were supposed to have some kind of slow-motion run into each other's arms.
- This is all wrong.
- Maybe we can just g-go to dinner or something? Just to get over the initial shock.
I'm so sorry, Rachel.
Uh I'll I'll call you.
Oh, hey, Finn.
Come on in.
I'm learning all this amazing stuff about Lady Gaga.
She's got this thing called the House of Gaga this collective of artists and designers who collaborate on her styles, stage sets, music.
I think it's an exciting model for what we could be doing in Glee Club.
Yeah, that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.
I don't wanna do Lady Gaga.
And I suspect that, with the exception of Kurt that none of the other guys are gonna want to do it either.
I just feel like we're always doing whatever the girls want us to do.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
You know, maybe I haven't been listening to you guys hard enough.
So let's find a solution.
Well, I, uh I actually already have one.
- [School Bell Rings.]
- You're wrong.
It's a good name.
It's a rock star name.
You want to name our daughter Jack Daniels? She's a girl! Okay, fine, whatever.
Jackie Daniels.
The name is not the point! I told you this.
I'm giving up the baby so I don't have to do this with you.
This is good for you.
Now you can go off and be a rock star yourself.
I love wearing champagne bubbles.
I get to express a whole different side of myself.
Even though I'm painfully shy and obsessed with death, I'm a really effervescent person.
- Excuse me! Were you dropped on your heads? - What was that? I think you heard me.
I'm just saying, pick on me, that's fine.
- But don't throw around a girl.
- Lately we haven't been able to tell the difference.
We're not gaga for Gaga.
You dress all freaky and then you rub it in everybody's faces.
I don't wanna look at it all day.
It's weird.
Makes my eyes tired.
You wanna switch it up a bit, just go from Gap to Banana Republic.
It's called being theatrical.
We're showing off who we are.
It's the same thing you do when you go to school with your football uniforms on.
You're expressing yourself, and we have every right to do the same.
Well, the next time you wanna express yourself and look like a circus freak don't be shocked when my fist feels like expressing itself against your chin! Okay? I'll knock that crazy-fool crepe-paper nonsense off you.
- Let's go.
- You don't wanna be late for your appointment at Supercuts! Watch your mouth, Hummel! And you know what, fancy? You don't need an appointment at Supercuts.
- They love walk-ins.
- [Both Chuckling.]
- [School Bell Rings.]
- Little monsters, take a bow.
[Will Laughing.]
All rightl Ladies, Kurt, I am really, really impressed.
[Will.]
Siéntate.
You know what the best part is? Each one of your costumes shows off a different aspect of your personalities.
Wait, where's Rachel? I only notice because five minutes have gone by without her saying something totally obnoxious.
Rachel kinda got some intense news yesterday.
We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline and Guys, that's not fair! You gotta stop doing that.
But, uh, you know, wh what'd you find out? Okay, y'all ready? Ms.
Corcoran, their coach, she's Rachel's mom.
Are you serious? - Way to bury the lead, Mercedes.
- We're screwed.
Rachel's gonna jump ship over to Vocal Adrenaline.
Never.
I really don't want to talk about it though.
I'm still processing the news.
And my dads are moving my therapist to our spare room later this afternoon.
A-A-All I know is that I'm not going anywhere and I've chosen a Lady Gaga look that expresses the longing for a childhood I was deprived of.
You look terrible.
I look awesome.
I think it's the Kermit the Frog look.
And we have a jumper.
[Sighs.]
Well, my dads can't sew, so these are just stapled on.
Why don't we worry about this later and try to focus on the song.
Couldn't agree more.
Hit it.
# Rah-rah, ah-ah-ah # # Roma-Roma-ma # # Gaga, ooh-la-la # # Want your bad romance # # I want your ugly I want your disease # # I want your everything as long as it's free # # I want your love # # Love, love, love I want your love # # I want your Psycho Your Vertigo shtick # - Hey! - #Want you in my rear window # # Baby, you're sick I want your love # # Love, love, love I want your love # # Love, love, love I want your love # #You know that I want you # - # And you know that I need you # - 'Cause I'm a freak, baby! # I want it bad Bad romance # # I want your lovin' # # I want your revenge # # You and me could write a bad romance # # Whoa-oh-ohh-oh-ohh # # I want your love and all your lover's revenge # # You and me could write a bad romance # # Whoa-oh-ohh-oh-ohh Ohh-oh-oh-ohh # # Ohh-oh-ohh Caught in a bad romance # # Walk, walk Fashion, baby # # Work it Move that thing crazy # # Walk, walk Fashion, baby # # Work it Move that thing crazy # # Walk, walk Fashion, baby # # Work it Move that thing crazy # # Walk, walk Passion, baby # # Work it I'm a freak, baby # # I want your love and I want your revenge # # I want your love # # I don't wanna be friends # # Want your bad romance # # Caught in a bad romance # # Want your bad romance # # I want your love and I want your revenge # #You and me could write a bad romance # - # Whoa-oh-ohh-oh-ohh # - I want your love and all your lover's revenge # # You and me could write a bad romance # # Whoa-oh-oh-oh-ohh Ohh-oh-oh-ohh # # Want your bad romance # - # Caught in a bad romance # - # Want your bad romance # - # Ohh-oh-oh-ohh # - #Want your bad romance # # Caught in a bad romance # # Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah # # Roma-roma-ma # # Gaga, ooh-la-la # # Want your bad romance ## - [Cheering, Applause.]
- All right! - [Cheering, Applause.]
- All right! - [Toilet Flushing.]
- Oh, God.
- What up, Finn? - What's that on your face? You got a bad pimple? Yeah, a "Finn"-ple? [Laughs.]
- Oh, dude, are you wearing makeup? - I knew it was contagious.
You moved in with that Kurt kid and now you got a bad case of the gays.
- It's just for Glee Club.
- Oh, that's definitely not gay, huh? What up, man? How many times do we gotta go through this? You being a jock and being in this Glee Club does not make you versatile.
It makes you bisexual.
If we have to kick your ass to make you understand that, our schedules are wide open.
Get out of my bathroom.
You girls, y'all belong across the hallway.
- Glee boy! - [Laughing.]
# [Disco.]
# [Stops.]
Yeah, that's better, guys.
Take five.
And, ladies, I don't wanna hear about chafing just because you're being forced to wear metal underwear not my problem.
Mom? [Sighs.]
Honey, you gotta stop sneaking into these rehearsals.
It's kind of important.
Oh, dear God.
My dads can't sew.
I really need a mom right now.
Do you think you can help? - Sorry I'm late.
- Whoal - Sorry I'm late.
- Whoal - Looking good, Rachel! - Thanks! My mom made it.
[Chattering, Laughing.]
Well, we're all here.
So without further ado I'd like to introduce the boys! [Puck.]
Lima, Ohio, get ready to rockl [Laughing, Screaming.]
[Laughing, Screaming.]
# Well, the night's begun and you want some fun # # Do you think you're gonna find it # - # Think you're gonna find it # - [Hooting, Yelling.]
# You gotta treat yourself like number one # # Do you need to be reminded # - # Need to be reminded # - Whoo! # It doesn't matter what you do or say # #Just forget the things that you been told # # We can't do it any other way # # Everybody's gotta rock and roll # # Ohh-ohh-whoo # # Shout it, shout it # # Shout it out loud # # Shout it, shout it # # Shout it out loud # # If you don't feel good # # There's a way you could # # Don't sit there brokenhearted # # Sit there brokenhearted # # Call all your friends in the neighborhood # # And get the party started # # Get the party started # # Don't let 'em tell you that there's too much noise # # They're too old to really understand # # You'll still get rowdy with the girls and boys # # 'Cause it's time for you to take a stand # # Yeah-eah-eah # - Yeah! - # Shout it, shout it # # Shout it out loud # # You got to have a party # # Shout it, shout it # # Shout it out loud # # Turn it up louder # # Shout it, shout it # # Shout it out loud # # Oh, yeah, yeah # # Shout it, shout it # # Shout it out loud # # Hear it gettin' louder # # Shout it, shout it Shout it out loud # # Whoa ## [Cheering, Yelling.]
[Cheering, Yelling.]
All right, guys.
Very impressive.
Very, very loud.
[Laughs.]
But what does that performance express? And what do those costumes illustrate? We did our research, Mr.
Schue.
Yeah, Finn's demon look is because Gene Simmons liked comic books as a kid and they called Paul Stanley the Star Child because he was romantic or something.
But that doesn't really explain my whore lips.
And my Ace Frehley is supposed to be a spaceman from another planet.
Mike's iconic cat man was because Peter Criss claimed to have nine lives.
Yeah, and I'm dressed as the guy who replaced Artie when he quit.
Well, congratulations, guys.
- Job well done.
Let's give it up for the boys! - [Cheering, Yelling.]
Whoo! I thought the boys' KISS number was good although the lyrics did leave something to be desired.
Finn kept sticking his tongue out, and I couldn't stop picturing him licking stuff.
It was disturbing.
We warned you.
Now Gaga's gotta go.
# [Pop Ballad.]
Could you have a word with Azimio and Karofsky about harassing me without damaging my Gaga outfit? Are you serious? Do you know how difficult it is with those guys? They already think we're boyfriends.
Let them think what they want.
They're Neanderthals.
In three years they'll be cleaning my septic tank.
Don't you get it? It's not just them.
We live in Ohio, not New York or San Francisco or some other city where people eat vegetables that aren't fried.
I don't understand why you always need to make such a big spectacle of yourself.
Why can't you just work harder at blending in? I'm sure that'd be easier for you.
You know, it would.
You are such a boy.
You're gonna have to use a moist towelette if you wanna get that makeup off.
- Here, let me show you.
- Don't touch me! What is your problem, Finn? It's just a moist towelette! I'm gonna finish in the laundry room.
Grow up, Finn! - [School Bell Rings.]
- I know why you called, and don't worry about it.
My reconnection with Rachel is not some kind of plot to mess with you guys before regionals.
I'm not worried about regionals.
It's Rachel.
She's special.
She's got all of the best of you.
She's strong-willed, dramatic, wildly talented.
Go on.
But she's not hard like you.
She's fragile, overemotional and she's convinced herself that you are as committed to this reunion as she is.
And I don't think you are.
You're not prepared to have a teenage daughter.
Are you? I can't have any more kids.
There were issues a few years back then some surgery, and that's that.
I really wanted a daughter.
That's why it was so important to me to make that bond with her.
But you're right.
I wanted my baby back.
Rachel's an adult now.
She doesn't need me.
Shelby, I can't tell you what to do but if you really love her you have to tell her what you just told me.
[Kurt.]
I had to skip school to finish it, but I think you're really going to like it.
Consider it a peace offering after all the yelling that we've been doing.
I used Marlene Dietrich and Gary Cooper in Morocco as my inspiration.
It's a perfect blend of the masculine and the feminine the muted and the theatrical.
Are you freaking insane? I can't live here.
I'm a dude.
What the hell is that supposed to be? It's a privacy partition.
It's the only one I could find on such short notice.
Why are you getting angry about everything? I worked hard on this.
That's not a privacy partition Why is it so hard for you to understand? I don't want to get dressed in front of you.
I put my underwear on in the shower before I come out when you're around.
I don't wanna have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man! - And what "stuff" are you referring to? - You know what I'm talking about.
Don't play dumb.
- Why can't you just accept that I'm not like you? - I have accepted that.
No, you haven't.
You think I don't see the way you stare at me, how flirty you get? You think I don't know why you got so excited that we were gonna be moving in together? It's just a room, Finn! - We can redecorate it if you want to! - Okay.
Good! Then the first thing that needs to go is that faggy lamp! - And then we need to get rid of this faggy couch blanket - Hey! What did you just call him? Oh, n-n-no.
I didn't call him anything.
I was talking to the blanket.
- No, if you use that word, you're talking about him.
- Dad, I didn't take it that way.
Yeah, that's because you're 16 and you still assume the best in people.
You live a few years, you start seeing the hate in people's hearts.
Even the best people.
- You use the "N" word? - Of course not.
How about "retard"? You call that nice girl in Cheerios with Kurt you call her a retard? Becky? N-No.
She's my friend.
She's got Down's Syndrome.
I'd never call her That's cruel.
But you think it's okay to come in my house and say "faggy"? - But t-that's not what I meant.
- I know what you meant! What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some kid gets clocked in practice we'd tell him stop bein' such a fag, shake it off! We meant it exactly the way you meant it that being gay is wrong, that it's some kind of punishable offense.
I really thought you were different, Finn.
You know, I thought that being in Glee Club and being raised by your mom meant that you were some, you know, new generation of dude who saw things differently, who just kind of came into the world knowing what its taken me years of struggling to figure out.
I guess I was wrong.
I'm sorry, Finn, but you can't you can't stay here.
- Dad.
- I love your mom.
And maybe this is gonna cost me her but my family comes first.
I can't have that kind of poison around.
This is our home, Kurt.
He is my son.
Out in the world you do what you want.
Not under my roof.
Place looks great.
[Door Slams.]
- You look like you should be in orbit.
- My bubbles keep falling off.
I've been there.
- I wanna talk about this.
- There's not much to say.
I feel sorry for you.
I thought you were different.
I am different.
[Will.]
All right, let's get things started.
Mr.
Schue, I have something I want to say to Quinn and I want everybody to hear it.
All right.
[Exhales, Stammers.]
At first I didn't get this theatrical assignment being larger than life and putting it all out there, 'cause I'm like that all the time.
That's how my dad was too.
He was too busy being all crazy and rock and roll to be there for his kid.
And you know what? I didn't care that my dad was a bad-ass.
I just wanted him to be there, and he never was.
Then I learned all this KISS stuff and whileJackie Daniels is a great name for a power boat or something it's not right for a baby girl.
So if my KISS-mates will help me out, I got a better idea.
Grab a stool, guys.
## [Ballad.]
# Beth, I hear you callin' # # But I can't come home right now # # Me and the boys are playin'# # And we just can't find the sound # # Just a few more hours # # And I'll be right home to you # # I think I hear them callin'# # Oh, Beth, what can I do # # Beth, what can I do # # You say you feel so empty # # That our house just ain't a home # # I 'm always somewhere else # # And you're always there alone # # Just a few more hours # # And I'll be right home to you # # I think I hear them callin' # # Oh, Beth, what can I do # # Beth, what can I do # # Beth, I know you're lonely # # A nd I hope you'll be all right # # 'Cause me and the boys will be playin' # # All night # # AII night # I know you're giving her up, but before you do I think you should name her Beth.
If you'll let me, I'd really like to be there when she's born.
I'd really like to meet her.
[School Bell Rings.]
[Sighs.]
How'd your dads come up with the name Rachel? They were big Friends fans.
I know why you're here.
To say good-bye.
I really wanted this to work.
Do you know what really turned me? That story you told me about your dads and how they'd bring you water when you were sad.
We're never gonna have anything like that.
It's too late for us.
I just think that anything we share right now is gonna be confusing for you.
I just don't understand.
You're my mom.
I feel awful right now, and I should want to just fall into your arms and let you rock me and tell me everything is gonna be fine, but I just don't feel it.
It's because I'm your mother, but I'm not your mom.
So, what, do we just pretend we don't know each other now? That seems silly.
Let's just be grateful for one another from afar for a while.
Don't think for a second I'm gonna go soft on you during regionals.
[Sniffles.]
Bring it.
[Laughs.]
Can I have a hug good-bye? Sure.
[Chuckles.]
Can you do me one more favor? Sometime when you're thirsty can you get yourself some water from this cup? Gold stars are kinda my thing.
Of course.
Shelby.
Before you go, will will you sing with me? Just one time? It's sort of a fantasy of mine, and it would really mean a lot to me.
I would be honored.
Brad.
He's always just around.
Um There you go.
# I wanna hold 'em like they do # # In Texas plays # # Fold 'em Let 'em hit me, raise it # # Baby, stay with me # # Love the game Intuition # # Play the cards with spades to start # # And after he's been hooked # # I'll play the one # # That's on his heart # # Ohh, oh-ohh-ohh # # Ohh, oh-oh-ohh # # I'll get him hot # # And show him what I got # # Ohh, oh-oh-ohh # # Ohh-oh-ohh, oh-ohh # # I will get him hot # # And show him what I've got # # Can't read my Can't read my # # No, he can't read my poker face # # She's got to love nobody # # Can't read my Can't read my # # No, he can't read my poker face # # She's got to love nobody # # P-P-P-Poker face # # P-P-Poker face # # P-P-P-Poker face # # P-P-Poker face # # I wanna roll with him # # A hard pair we will be # # A little gamblin' # # Is fun when you're with me # # Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun # # And, baby, when it's love # # If it ain't rough, it isn't fun # # Ohh-oh-oh-ohh # # Ohh-oh-oh-ohh-ohh # # I'll get him hot # # Show him what I got # - # Can't read my # - # Can't read my # # No, he can't read my poker face # # She's got to love nobody # # Can't read my Can't read my # # No, he can't read my poker face # # She's got to love nobody # # I won't tell you that I love you # # Kiss or hug you 'cause I'm bluffin' # # With my muffin # # I'm not lyin' # # I'm just stunnin' with my love glue gunnin' # # Just like a chick in the casino # # Take your bank before I pay you out # # I promise this I promise this # # Check this hand # # 'Cause I am marvelous # - # I'm marvelous # - # I'm marvelous # # I'm marvelous So marvelous # # She's got to love nobody # # Can't read my Can't read my # # No, he can't read my poker face # # She's got to # # Love nobody ## You are really, really good.
[Sniffles.]
- [School Bell Rings.]
- Whoa! Guys, why are you all in your theatricality costumes? It's the end of the week.
We were kind of hoping to learn what the lesson of the assignment was.
Well, you guys have had some great numbers this week, but I'm not sure I know either.
- [All Laughing.]
- I do.
I refuse to dress like somebody I'm not to be somebody I'm not.
And I learned it's good to be a little theatrical.
- [Gasps.]
- So here's what's gonna happen.
My dad, he's the king of the vampires and Asian vampires are the most vicious of all the vampires.
You're going to let me wear my lady demon clothes or my dad will fly into your bedroom and bite your face off.
He's really pissed.
Is that what you want? No, I don't want that, I'm afraid.
Good.
I'm glad we had this talk.
Now I have to go back to my coffin because the light is burning my eyes! - There she is.
- [Applause.]
She's backl She's backl - Wait, where's Kurt? - Where's Finn? Fine.
You wanna hit me? You wanna beat me up? Go ahead.
But I swear to you I will never change.
I'm proud to be different.
It's the best thing about me.
So go ahead.
Hit me.
I believe I will.
Sir, would you like to go first? You're not hitting anyone.
- Oh, my God.
- Is he wearing a red rubber dress, or am I trippin'? I wanna thank you, Kurt.
I realize I still have a lot to learn.
But the reason I'm here right now in a shower curtain is because of you.
- And I'm not gonna let anyone lay a hand on you.
- Oh.
Really, dude? 'Cause I'm pretty sure we can take both of you.
Yeah, but can you take all of us? Okay.
Okay, I get it.
I took biology.
You know what? We done disturbed the freak hive.
The worker freaks is tryin'to protect the queen freak.
Next time we'll bring some friends too.
I'm tired of everyone calling us freaks.
[Laughing.]
Well, look at us.
We are freaks.
[All Laughing.]
But we're all freaks together and we shouldn't have to hide it.
[Applause.]
Nice job, Finn.
Think you just figured out what the lesson was.
Kinda makes me wish I'd planned it.
But Mercedes is right.
You do all look incredibly insane.
- [All.]
Thank you.
- You're so welcome.
Anyways, let's get back to work before you're all forced to join the circus.
Next stop, regionals! [Cheering, Hooting.]
# [Vocalizing.]
# [Harmonic Vocalizing.]
# [Ends.]