Highway to Heaven (1984) s01e20 Episode Script

Nice is for nerds.
l`m rich, and rich is how l intend to stay.
My boss isn`t going to like that.
Your boss? Let me see that! You`re not trying to mug me, are you? l`m warning you, l`ve had self-defense lessons Don`t be absurd, give me this! Hi, how are you? Have a nice day today.
Drive safe.
Hi everybody.
Hi, how are you? Careful.
Hi.
How you doing? Hi.
lt`s 1 2 o`clock.
Time for lunch.
l feel awful.
- What`s the matter? l`ve got indigestion from that burrito we had.
Maybe you should have stopped after the taco, hamburger, malt and and fries.
lt wasn`t the quantity.
They put something in that burrito, olives.
Always give me indigestion.
Not knowing where we`re going gives me indigestion.
lt should be around there somewhere.
- That`s encouraging.
That`s it.
- That`s what? Right there.
That`s got to be a bad sign.
- Turn.
Soup`s on.
Eat up, eat up.
You shouldn`t pick out all the peanuts.
That`s all l could find today.
That`s it.
Eat up.
Where`s Blanche today, Beatrice? Okay, go on.
You find her.
Charlie, look at this guy, just look at him.
lt`s Melvin Rich.
He says the reason there`s so many homeless people in town is the soup kitchens.
Don`t feed them and they will go away.
Then he gets the City Council to vote cut backs.
Yeah l know, somebody ought to tell him.
Hey Jonathan.
- What? Look at that poor guy.
Boy, l mean he is gone.
He`s gone, really gone, he`s out there.
Slipped off the scope and lost contact with Houston control.
Just sitting there talking to himself like l was talking to a friend.
He was here a second ago.
l really wish you wouldn`t do that.
Don`t tell me that bum is our next assignment? That`s right.
He hasn`t got much longer to live, Mark.
Just 24 hours.
We`re here to grant him a wish.
Listen to this Charlie, he wants to close the park and pave it over to make more parking spaces for the business district.
l would really like to tell that guy a thing or two.
What would you want to tell him? - What? Who me? l couldn`t help but overhear what you were saying to your friend.
My friend? You mean Charlie? My name is Jonathan and this is my friend Mark.
How you doing, Charlie? Who`s he talking to? To your friend, Charlie.
You see Charlie? Yeah, sure l see him.
Don`t you? No.
You had better get your friend some help.
He`s had a bad day.
Olives do that to him.
Olives? That`s pretty weird.
My name`s Willie.
Willie The Waver.
That`s what everybody calls me, anyway.
Wait a minute! You don`t see him? Of course not, he`s not there.
But l don`t mind if you see him.
You`re the one that`s talking to him.
Of course, but he`s the only one l got to talk to.
But you got Jonathan.
He`s your friend.
That`s why l was surprised you were talking to Charlie.
What`s that? Yeah, yeah.
Charlie says he`s surprised too.
But he doesn`t mind if you talk to him.
That`s fine.
Charlie`s an easy-going kind of a guy.
He is used to all kinds.
You were saying you want to tell something to that guy in the paper.
Melvin Rich? Yeah, l sure would.
What you want to tell him? l`d tell him, l`d tell him l`d tell him Be nice.
That says it all, doesn`t it? Yeah, yeah it does.
lt`s awful pretty for this time of year, isn`t it? You see this tree? ln about 6 months it`s covered with the most beautiful blossoms.
l guess l won`t be around to see that.
That`s too bad.
l`d like to see them fluttering down just one more time.
Lunch time is over.
Time to get back to my waving.
See you later fellas.
- Yeah, see you later.
Charlie says it was nice meeting you.
lf you want to talk, just look him up.
He is a lot cheaper than the head shrinker.
And he says, you`d better lay off those olives.
Melvin Rich.
Take a look at this.
President of Tri-Core lndustries, and the richest man ever to run for mayor.
Should be easy enough.
- What`s that? Willie`s wish.
We gotta get Melvin Rich to the park so Willie can say ``be nice``.
You are crazy if you think this guy is going to come to the park to talk to some flipped out moon man who sits around talking to invisible people.
This guy is a lunatic.
He`s talking to himself l was talking to a friend.
He was here a second ago.
l`d better go.
What is this, a library? Keep your voice down.
This is an office, not a bowling alley.
We`re sorry.
We`d like to see Mr Rich.
Would you? - My name is Smith, Jonathan Smith.
l`m an angel.
l usually don`t tell people that but let`s get right to the point.
l appreciate your candor.
And pray tell, who are you, Tinkerbell? l`m Mark Gordon.
l`m with him.
- l see.
lf you just wait over there someone will be right with you.
Thanks very much.
What did you tell the guy you are an angel for? Because that`s what l am.
- He`s going to think you`re nuts.
Of course.
He`s calling security right now to get us thrown out.
All right guys were leaving peacefully.
- They can`t see or hear us.
Where are they? Well they were right there.
We`ll check the elevator.
Let`s go.
Hey, this is really neat.
- Come on, let`s go.
Who are you two? What are you doing in here? He can see us? Of course.
How are we going to talk to him if he can`t? Oh yeah, l guess you`re right.
Fisk, call security.
l`ve got two lunatics in my office.
You`re wasting your time, they can`t see us.
Throw them out.
- Yes Sir.
Take him out.
Hey you can see me! - That`s right, Tinkerbell.
What about the other one? Throw him out as well.
What other one? This one right here.
- They can`t see me.
Don`t be absurd, of course they can.
Who can? - You can.
Can what, Sir? - They can`t hear me.
They can`t? - Who can`t? You can`t.
- Can`t what? They think you`re crazy.
They do? - Who do? You do.
Do what? Think l`m - Crazy.
Wouldn`t do to have them think you`re crazy.
You`re running for mayor.
Tell them to let go of my friend.
Let go of his friend.
- Whose friend? Let him go and get out of here! - Yes Sir.
Okay fellas.
Let`s go.
l`m having a nervous breakdown.
- No, that isn`t what is.
You see Mr Rich, l am an angel.
You`re both angels? No, he`s the Angel.
l`m an ex-cop.
l see.
Fisk, have my driver bring the car round please.
l`m not feeling well and cancel all my appointments.
lt`s all right Melvin.
We`re just having a slight breakdown.
Nothing major, nothing we can`t handle.
Just go home and lie down for a while.
l can`t let you go home until you promise to come to the park with us.
Oh really? - Yes, really.
l`m not going to let you get out of the chair until you come with us.
All right l`ll go, l`ll go.
Good, you can get up now.
l can? - Yes, you can.
Ready to go? Hey Willie, how you doing? Jonathan, Mark.
Charlie, our friends are back! There`s someone l`d like you to meet.
Mr Rich, this is Willie The Waver.
This is the Mr Rich from the newspaper.
So it is.
Go on, you wanted to tell him something.
l`d appreciate it if you were quick.
Mr Rich be nice.
Be nice? Yeah, that`s the whole ball of wax.
That`s the message? Think about it.
You`re not very nice.
You got no compassion for people.
You want to take away what little they`ve got.
You wanna close the shelters, soup kitchens, pave over the parks, put in oil wells instead of beaches.
Wait a minute.
l`ve worked hard for what l`ve got.
With the honest sweat of my brow.
l beg your pardon Mr Rich.
Your bank is very dishonest.
Your companies make shoddy products, you don`t care about the safety of your employees.
The list goes on and on lt all boils down to one thing, you`re just not nice.
What do you intend to do about that? Me? Nothing.
But l`m giving you a chance.
The choice is up to you.
That`s it? - That`s it.
lf it`s up to me to make the choice, it`s already been made.
Nice is for nerds.
l`m rich, and rich is how l intend to stay.
My boss isn`t going to like that.
- Your boss? Let him do something about it if he so chooses.
ln the meantime, l will wish you good day.
What happened? - l don`t know.
You all right Willie? Yes, l`m fine.
Why did you call me Willie? That your name, isn`t it? No, you cretin, l`m J Melvin Rich.
You sound like Rich You look like - Like what? What am l doing in these filthy clothes? Let me see that! You`re not trying to mug me, are you? l`m warning you, l`ve had self-defense lessons.
Don`t be absurd, give me this! Help, police! Help, l`m being mugged! You all right? - Oh my Lord in Heaven.
Yeah l`d say that`s a pretty good guess.
There he is! That`s the one.
That`s one who tried to mug me.
Lady are you sure? This is Willie The Waver.
l`ve known this guy the years.
He wouldn`t hurt a fly.
What`s this all about old timer? This Amazon attacked me! He tried to steal my compact.
l simply asked to see myself.
l`m sure it was just a misunderstanding ma`am.
l can clear all this up officer.
l am J Melvin Rich.
l have l.
D.
He stole my wallet, my credit cards.
Sure Willie, sure.
l told you, he`s really harmless.
Harmless or not, they ought to keep these people off the street.
That`s exactly what l`ve been saying in my campaign.
This lovely young woman is right.
Vote me Madam, l can assure you All right, all right l won`t press charges.
He is as nutty as a fruitcake.
Could l have my compact please? Thank you ma`am.
He really means no harm.
Willie, l don`t know what`s got into you l am J Melvin Rich! This man knows me, ask him.
No more shenanigans or l`ll have to run you in.
ls that clear? Yes, very clear.
Let`s go feed the pigeons, Willie.
But l am Melvin Rich.
Have you ever heard that old saying ``never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins``? l don`t wear moccasins, l wear wingtips.
Not any more.
l think the Boss has intervened.
l think what he`s got in mind is for you to keep walking.
Jonathan, l don`t think l can pull this thing off.
Not even with an angel helping me.
There`s nothing to pull off.
lt`s a chance for Mr Rich to see what it`s like to be Willie The Waver.
And a chance for you to see what it`s like being Mr Rich.
Except for one difference.
- What`s that? You can be nice without having to change.
What about poor Rich? He`s going to be all alone.
Don`t worry, Mark will take care of him.
l don`t know.
l don`t think this is going to work.
Your secretary called Mr Rich.
- Huh? Your secretary called.
He thinks l`m Mr Rich.
- What? He can`t see me or hear me.
Oh.
Do l sound like Mr Rich? l suppose.
l don`t know.
You`ve never really spoken to me before, Sir.
l haven`t? - Usually you just say `office` or `home`.
This is the most we`ve spoken in 10 years.
10 years? Phew! Would you like to go home now, Sir? l sure would but l guess you better take me to Rich`s house instead.
Very good, Sir.
Hold it old man, no pandering in here.
Don`t be a fool.
l am J.
Melvin Rich.
And l`m Johnny Carson.
l`m doing this in the daytime for pocket money.
Very funny.
l`m trying to being nice so why don`t you just move on? And don`t come back! Here come on.
Are you all right? No, of course not! The beard that`s it, that`s it! l need a razor and some shaving cream.
Any particular kind? Anything will do.
Here, this is the cheapest we`ve got.
How much? - $2 and 21 cents.
Damn it.
l am J.
Melvin Rich.
l`ll send one of my employees back with the money.
Stop him, he`s a thief! Stop him! You`re not having a good day, are you? l`m going to buy this store and sell it.
Taxi! They`re not going to stop for a bum! Now where you going? - Home, of course.
Wow, what a place! You should`ve let me open the door for you, Sir.
How come? l may be old but l ain`t feeble.
No Sir, indeed not.
l can`t believe you`ve been in this job so long and never got a raise.
You`ve never seen fit.
l seem fit now, don`t l? What do you think, Jonathan? My name is Jamieson, Sir and it`s okay.
l forgot.
Well, what about that raise? l`d appreciate it very much, Sir.
Well he did steal a case of motor oil from Mr Rich last month.
and some spare parts he sold to his friends.
You shouldn`t have done that, son.
That`s not very nice.
Do what, Sir? Stealing motor oil and spare parts.
l don`t know what you`re talking about, Mr Rich.
He did it because Rich docked a week`s pay for denting his car.
Oh well, that`s different.
- You believe me then? No l don`t.
Angels don`t lie.
Well l`m no angel but l didn`t How much did you get for all the spare parts? Mr Rich l swear l didn`t take anything.
$230.
$230? That`s a lot of money.
You found out.
Look, l know l did wrong Yeah, yeah, but what are we going to do about it? Obviously you`ll fire me.
Please don`t press charges.
l`ve got a wife and child and needed the money for the rent All right, you got the raise.
- What Sir? You got the raise.
But you got to pay me back because l can`t let you be stealing.
No, Sir.
l`m really sorry l did it.
- l know.
No telling what a man will do when he`s desperate.
People shouldn`t have to be in that kind of situation, it ain`t right.
No it ain`t! lsn`t.
l don`t know how to thank you Sir.
Don`t lie or steal any more, son.
lt isn`t nice.
No Sir.
- Well, keep smiling.
Yes Sir.
Good afternoon Sir - Hi, how are you? Very well, thank you, Sir.
Would you like your smoking jacket, Sir? No thanks.
l kicked that habit years ago.
Got tired of scrounging around for the butts.
l beg your pardon, Sir.
- No, you shouldn`t have to beg.
How long you been working here? - 20 years, Sir.
Guess you need a raise too, huh? What`s your name? My name? Parks, Sir.
Okay you got it.
Keep smiling.
l can`t get over this place.
lt sure beats a park bench.
Hi, how are you doing? Were you speaking to me? - Yeah, you work here too? That`s one of the most insulting things you`ve ever said to me.
Rich`s wife.
- Oh Jeez, l wish you said something before.
Said something before? l`ve tried to say things to you, l gave up years ago.
Listen lady, l`m sorry.
- Listen lady? You can`t even speak to me with more warmth than you show a stranger.
Better say something.
- What am l supposed to say? Nothing.
You gotta help me with this thing.
l`d be only too willing to try to help save this marriage.
You`re the one who won`t try.
Look lady - Stop calling me that! Have you been drinking? Her name is Carlotta.
- Carlotta, you mind if l call you that? No, l haven`t been drinking.
- l won`t argue with you.
Call her Lottie.
- Lottie Lottie? You haven`t called me Lottie in 30 years.
Truth is, we don`t really know each other at all.
l thought l knew you once.
Long ago.
You think you know me, but really l`m just a bum.
Do you really mean what you`re saying? Yeah, see you think you know me but you don`t.
And l don`t really know you either.
Oh Melvin, now l don`t know what to say.
You don`t know how long l`ve waited to talk to you like this.
l`ve been so lonely in this house.
- Yeah, it`s a pretty nice house.
You`ve given me material things, but they mean nothing, not really.
What l wanted you to give was your love.
Oh.
l don`t think we should be having this conversation.
l mean we`re strangers and all.
But if you can see that then it`s not too late for us.
How could a beautiful lady like you have anything to do with a guy like me? Oh, Melvin.
Oh, hey, whoa maybe we should slow down a little.
Yes, let`s savour every moment.
Oh Melvin, l never knew you could be so romantic.
l`ll have Parks light a fire.
We haven`t used the fireplace in years.
Are you sure this is right? As long as you don`t go too far.
Mr Rich, l`m just trying to keep you out of trouble.
You saw what happened back there.
Keep your hands off me you idiot! This is my home.
You think my own staff don`t know my voice? Wait a minute, you can`t go in there.
- Take your hands off me you idiot.
The person you drove here is a bum.
- All right, let`s go.
Take your hands off me, you`re fired! - All right, l tried to be reasonable.
lf you show your face around here again you`ll be spending the night in jail.
l think we ought to go, Mr Rich.
- Go, go where? l can`t even get in my own house.
l can`t get in anywhere like this.
l don`t know, l think l know a place you`ll fit right in.
lmagine it, Melvin Rich in a soup line.
Just think of it.
That would be something to see, wouldn`t it? Sorry everybody, but we handed out our meals for the day.
With budget cut backs, we can`t feed all of you.
You don`t know how sorry l am.
But this is preposterous! We`re hungry, how will we eat? Try telling that to Melvin Rich.
l`m sorry.
l`d like to have that Rich guy here right now.
l`d tear him limb from limb.
l`d tear him to pieces and stuff them in the trash can.
My name is Joe.
What`s yours? Willie, Willie The Waver.
Come on, we got to find us a place to sleep, it`s gonna be cold tonight.
Sleep out here? - Yeah, out here.
Look at this.
Even animals live under better conditions.
Whose fault is that? These people.
l have to do this.
They don`t have a voodoo curse on them.
They can get jobs.
Really? What kind of a job dressed like that? You think you can run for Mayor? Oh my lord, the campaign debate.
l`ve got to be on television tomorrow, the most important debate of the campaign.
Well you`ll never make it, so don`t worry about it.
Don`t worry? l`ll be ruined if l don`t show up.
You`re going to show up, but it`s not going to be you.
You don`t mean Yes l do.
So Willie, how do you feel? - Nice, nice and cosy.
Yet it is, isn`t it? Sure beats standing over a trash can out in the park.
l suppose it does.
l always wanted a family.
l guess you get used to being alone.
You don`t realise what you`re missing till you see what other people got and they just let it go to waste.
- Oh Melvin, l always wanted a family too, but you always said you didn`t.
Hey, people make mistakes.
You`ve never admitted that before.
l`m so happy with you tonight.
You got that debate tomorrow.
You`d better get some rest.
Why can`t it last longer? But it can darling.
Let`s lie awake holding each other all night long.
Can`t do that Willie.
This is only temporary.
You know that, so do l.
l can`t do that.
Not tonight.
l`m sorry.
l understand.
You have your debate tomorrow.
But they`ll be other nights, darling.
lt`s like we`ve started all over again.
Yeah.
Lottie? Just remember tonight.
Even though l tried not to and all the angels may be against that Nothing can keep me from falling in love with you.
Goodnight.
Go Rich! Against Rich! Let me through! Let me through! Stay back there pal.
- l`ve got to get inside.
l`m Melvin Rich.
- Sure you are.
Stay back there.
Good afternoon, l`m Jonathan Martin.
Welcome to the debate between candidates for Mayor.
Mr Frank Sturgess and Mr J.
Melvin Rich.
Each candidate will ask three questions of his opponent.
Mr Sturgess has won the toss so we will begin with him.
l would like to ask Mr Rich if he doesn`t think it strange that every highway construction bill he pushed through the city council wound up going to his own company, Tricorp Construction? lt does sound pretty fishy, doesn`t it? - What do you think, Jonathan? l don`t know Mr Rich, that`s up to you.
- Tricorp bought the votes.
Well there you have it, Tricorp bought the votes.
l don`t believe it! Hey, Rich admitted his company bought votes on the City Council.
l think l`m going to vomit.
l am going to vomit.
l can save everybody a lot of time here.
l`ve been reading about this Sturgess fella and he seems like an honest fellow.
Don`t you think, Jonathan? l must remind you Mr Rich it`s your opinion we want here.
ln my opinion, Sturgess is an honest fella who would make a pretty good Mayor and that`s good enough for me.
l would vote for him if l were you folks.
Jonathan, can l say one more thing? You`re on a roll Willie, why stop now? l just want to say Lottie, are you watching? l want to tell you that last night was the most beautiful night of my life.
l mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Well that`s it.
Goodbye folks, have a nice day.
Keep smiling.
Get Rich! Get Rich! Get Rich! Get Rich! Before you call the police, just listen to me! The police, Sir ? Yes Sir.
You called me Sir? - Of course Sir.
Bravo Sir, bravo! Your speech was wonderful, we are all so very proud.
Thank you, l suppose.
Where is Mrs Rich? She is upstairs Sir, waiting for you.
ln your bedroom, Sir.
ln my bedroom? She`s got the bedroom of her own.
l believe she`s waiting to give you a surprise, Sir.
She`s ordered dinner to be served upstairs.
What`s wrong with your eye? Have you got a tick? Well, no Sir.
And you l`ll deal with you later.
What in God`s name? - Melvin.
Carlotta, have you gone mad? Yes, mad for you.
l don`t know what to say.
You`ve never behaved like this.
Because l never realised what a wonderful man l have.
l`m going to make you the happiest man in the world.
Besides, that kiss was just returning the one you gave me last night and you never kissed me like that either.
- You kissed that bum? l thought you were worse than a bum, but last night you proved me wrong.
Last night? What exactly happened to you last night? You happened to me last night.
And it made me remember how much l was in love with you.
And it brought it all back.
l am shocked beyond belief.
- And so was l.
And Melvin, you`re not going to refuse me tonight like last night.
Tonight you`re mine and l won`t settle for the just one kiss.
One kiss, that`s all there was? - Of course, you remember.
Maybe the man you were with last night wasn`t such a bum after all.
A bum? You`re the most popular man in the city tonight.
Haven`t you heard? - Heard what? Since you made a clean breast of it during the debate every television station has been playing the tape.
They`re flooded with calls.
Your company`s stock has shot up right through the roof.
The Attorney General said if all monies are returned you`ll get off with just a fine.
People love you for what you did today.
But not half as much as l do.
l`ve seen things in 24 hours that l never even knew existed.
As if through another man`s eyes.
So it`s back to being a bum again, Jonathan.
You were never a bum, Willie.
You forget sometimes how lonely it gets.
You get used to it, and then you see there`s another way.
lt`s kind of hard to come back to things the way they were.
ls this it Jonathan? ls this the way it is? No Willie, it`s not the end.
lt`s just the beginning.
l feel real tired all of a sudden.
Why don`t you lie down, Willie? Yeah, maybe l should.
Hey, what do you think about that? The tree.
Look at it Charlie, it`s full of blossom.
Yeah you`re right, Charlie.
They`re just like snowflakes but they don`t feel cold.
lt`s nice and warm.
So beautiful.
So beautiful.
So are you, Willie.
So are you.
We`re here today to pay tribute to one who walked quietly amongst us.
A man who brought joy to people who didn`t even know his last name.
There`s an old saying, You should never judge a man until you walk a mile in his moccasins`` l walked in the footsteps of this gentle soul for a brief moment and l can tell you he could fill the shoes of any man, no matter what his station in life.
This park is going to seem empty without him, but we won`t forget him.
Wherever you are, thank you, Willie.
And may flights of angels lead you to Heaven.
l have it on good authority that that is in fact the case.
Lottie.