Metalocalypse (2006) s01e20 Episode Script
The Metalocalypse Has Begun
Gentlemen, you've been receiving death threats from some of your fans.
So they going to die? No, Pickles, they're threatening to kill you.
That's a different thing.
Yes.
Before the show, we should do a couple of safety briefings.
- I've outlined a very specific - Is there anything else? Any new ideas for the dethmerch? I remember you were complaining that you're sick of the Oh, yeah, guys.
You ready? This is it.
Here's the new merch.
This is times travels face bag.
Time travel face bag? Am I saying that right? Looks like you have some plastic bags.
- What are you doing? - We're traveling through time.
Yeah, you put the face bag on and you travel through time.
Dear God, you boy in the street.
What day is it? It's Wednes It's Friday.
It's Friday.
I must have traveled through time itself.
We've figured out how to travel through time at the speed of regular time with plastic bags.
~ Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok ~ ~ Do anything for Dethklok ~ ~ Dethklok, Dethklok Dethklok, Dethklok ~ Dethklok's underwater album Dethwater is making huge news again after being the biggest budgeted record in history later followed by a class action lawsuit.
The band's frontman, Nathan Explosion has sworn that this album would never be played live.
This album isn't for humans.
It's for underwater sea creatures therefore we will not play it for humans.
That was several months ago.
Since then billions of Dethklok fans have circulated standard petitions which did little until a group of renegade Dethklok fans instilled the suicide petition and terrorist petition destroying national monuments and leaving the streets littered with the carcasses of metal fans and other innocent people.
Though I do not believe this is the right thing to do artistically I do, however, believe that this is the right thing to do financially.
Dethklok is performing Dethwater Live for the first time ever.
General Crozier? This is taking place in Poland on the Gulf of Danzig.
They're planning to play to the sea, to the fish in the Baltic Sea.
- Yes, anything else? - No, senator.
We expect severe destruction of natural resources and death to fans.
Very well then.
Meeting adjourned.
Now is the time.
Yes, I know.
According to the ancient scriptures, they must be killed or an apocalypse of metal will be upon us.
Good, then our plans are set.
General, Salacia is in my mind.
I have a dreadful feeling that something very bad is going to happen.
General Crozier, your transport awaits.
I'm off to meet an important ally.
You'll ship off tonight and we'll meet at the rendezvous.
Yes.
- You know who I am? - Yes.
I've been trying to reach you for months.
You're an elusive bastard.
The only reason you found me was because I let you.
Your brother's been killed.
And how would you know? Because he worked for me.
He was the best I had.
- What do you want? - I know who killed your brother and if you want revenge, I can give it to you.
~ I call out to the beasts of the sea ~ ~ To come forth and join us ~ ~ This night is yours ~ ~'Cause one day we all will be with you In the black and deep ~ ~ One day we are all going to the water ~ ~ Go into the water ~ ~ Go in ~ Kill them all.
Dethklok will die.
I promise.
~ Live there and die ~ Now! Fire missiles! ~ Gone are days of man empires ~ ~ Let's transform to take in water ~ ~ Cloaked in scales ~ ~ We swim and swim on ~ What the hell's going on? They got us surrounded.
Quickly, to the Penta-PODS.
Shoot them down! You are mine.
What's in the names of Odin? What the hell was that? Dude, wheres ares wes? What the f we just flies in? What the hell was wrong with your guitar sounds tonight? What the hell is that supposed to mean? - It sounded great.
- Nope, it sounds dildos again.
Dude, it was a fan attack.
That's what Offdenson warned us about.
Why do fans feel that they have to do that? I mean what? To get noticed.
I know.
There are so many nice kids out there and then just a couple of them got to attack you.
It just spoils it for everyone.
I know it's sad.
It's sad for them.
It is sad.
It's sad for them.
It's pathetic.
It just makes me feel sorry for them.
That's all.
It must be a rescue team.
Hey, guys, down here! It's us, Dethklok, stranded in the middle of nowhere! I hope they brought some food! I feel like eating cheese.
Like really fancy cheese.
Like what's the name of that cheese? Renoir.
I could do that.
Maybe a little Kool-aid.
Of, you know, the grape persuasion.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh, look! Firecrackers.
Oh, let's steal them.
I remember when I was a kid I'm just sayings I can hear your guitar ringing out in my monitor mix and yous are half assing it.
How dare you! I'm selling it.
I'm kicking ass.
You just stand there.
- Just boring! - I'm rocking it every Yeah, that's the expense of sloppys playing.
You see, Toki.
That's weird.
Send your men in! General, it's a counter attack! It is time to die.
I forsakes you, Metal House God.
I've always hated you, Skwisgaar.
I knows, Toki.
I knows.
That's my bread and butter you're f with.
It's time.
No, we must pray first or it will be devastating.
Do it now! You have betrayed me! Be blind.
No! What are you doing? You I need alive.
Sleep.
We will meet again.
The Metalocalypse has begun.
So they going to die? No, Pickles, they're threatening to kill you.
That's a different thing.
Yes.
Before the show, we should do a couple of safety briefings.
- I've outlined a very specific - Is there anything else? Any new ideas for the dethmerch? I remember you were complaining that you're sick of the Oh, yeah, guys.
You ready? This is it.
Here's the new merch.
This is times travels face bag.
Time travel face bag? Am I saying that right? Looks like you have some plastic bags.
- What are you doing? - We're traveling through time.
Yeah, you put the face bag on and you travel through time.
Dear God, you boy in the street.
What day is it? It's Wednes It's Friday.
It's Friday.
I must have traveled through time itself.
We've figured out how to travel through time at the speed of regular time with plastic bags.
~ Do anything for Dethklok Do anything for Dethklok ~ ~ Do anything for Dethklok ~ ~ Dethklok, Dethklok Dethklok, Dethklok ~ Dethklok's underwater album Dethwater is making huge news again after being the biggest budgeted record in history later followed by a class action lawsuit.
The band's frontman, Nathan Explosion has sworn that this album would never be played live.
This album isn't for humans.
It's for underwater sea creatures therefore we will not play it for humans.
That was several months ago.
Since then billions of Dethklok fans have circulated standard petitions which did little until a group of renegade Dethklok fans instilled the suicide petition and terrorist petition destroying national monuments and leaving the streets littered with the carcasses of metal fans and other innocent people.
Though I do not believe this is the right thing to do artistically I do, however, believe that this is the right thing to do financially.
Dethklok is performing Dethwater Live for the first time ever.
General Crozier? This is taking place in Poland on the Gulf of Danzig.
They're planning to play to the sea, to the fish in the Baltic Sea.
- Yes, anything else? - No, senator.
We expect severe destruction of natural resources and death to fans.
Very well then.
Meeting adjourned.
Now is the time.
Yes, I know.
According to the ancient scriptures, they must be killed or an apocalypse of metal will be upon us.
Good, then our plans are set.
General, Salacia is in my mind.
I have a dreadful feeling that something very bad is going to happen.
General Crozier, your transport awaits.
I'm off to meet an important ally.
You'll ship off tonight and we'll meet at the rendezvous.
Yes.
- You know who I am? - Yes.
I've been trying to reach you for months.
You're an elusive bastard.
The only reason you found me was because I let you.
Your brother's been killed.
And how would you know? Because he worked for me.
He was the best I had.
- What do you want? - I know who killed your brother and if you want revenge, I can give it to you.
~ I call out to the beasts of the sea ~ ~ To come forth and join us ~ ~ This night is yours ~ ~'Cause one day we all will be with you In the black and deep ~ ~ One day we are all going to the water ~ ~ Go into the water ~ ~ Go in ~ Kill them all.
Dethklok will die.
I promise.
~ Live there and die ~ Now! Fire missiles! ~ Gone are days of man empires ~ ~ Let's transform to take in water ~ ~ Cloaked in scales ~ ~ We swim and swim on ~ What the hell's going on? They got us surrounded.
Quickly, to the Penta-PODS.
Shoot them down! You are mine.
What's in the names of Odin? What the hell was that? Dude, wheres ares wes? What the f we just flies in? What the hell was wrong with your guitar sounds tonight? What the hell is that supposed to mean? - It sounded great.
- Nope, it sounds dildos again.
Dude, it was a fan attack.
That's what Offdenson warned us about.
Why do fans feel that they have to do that? I mean what? To get noticed.
I know.
There are so many nice kids out there and then just a couple of them got to attack you.
It just spoils it for everyone.
I know it's sad.
It's sad for them.
It is sad.
It's sad for them.
It's pathetic.
It just makes me feel sorry for them.
That's all.
It must be a rescue team.
Hey, guys, down here! It's us, Dethklok, stranded in the middle of nowhere! I hope they brought some food! I feel like eating cheese.
Like really fancy cheese.
Like what's the name of that cheese? Renoir.
I could do that.
Maybe a little Kool-aid.
Of, you know, the grape persuasion.
That's what I'm talking about.
Oh, look! Firecrackers.
Oh, let's steal them.
I remember when I was a kid I'm just sayings I can hear your guitar ringing out in my monitor mix and yous are half assing it.
How dare you! I'm selling it.
I'm kicking ass.
You just stand there.
- Just boring! - I'm rocking it every Yeah, that's the expense of sloppys playing.
You see, Toki.
That's weird.
Send your men in! General, it's a counter attack! It is time to die.
I forsakes you, Metal House God.
I've always hated you, Skwisgaar.
I knows, Toki.
I knows.
That's my bread and butter you're f with.
It's time.
No, we must pray first or it will be devastating.
Do it now! You have betrayed me! Be blind.
No! What are you doing? You I need alive.
Sleep.
We will meet again.
The Metalocalypse has begun.